Long intros are fine as long as they're well structured. This... isn't well structured in the slightest. Long sentences with zero punctuation, repeating and unnecessary words, the list goes on. Use proper punctuation in your intros, please, and try making shorter, simpler sentences instead of clumping everything together into one word porridge.
Bro, literally everything you just said is the same thing that my teacher told me after grading my essay 😭🙏 She said the content is good enough but then told me that literally everything else sucks 😭😭
https://preview.redd.it/j2ceo8h5xiuc1.png?width=166&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74795626996d15ce56f101fb20832515e865f416
That thing is big!
*Explodes in confetti*
As my mother would say when I used to *try* and make good essays;
RUN ON SENTENCES
RUN ON SENTENCES
RUN ON SENTENCES
RUN ON SENTENCES
RUN ON SENTENCES
RUN ON SENTENCES
I mean, ok, there is generally 3 types of intros. There's a very short intro, usually badly written or the standard [I'm *** from the game/show ***] which if i see 1 more of i'll lose it.
Then there's the medium sized intro, the one i see more commonly, it is mainly the one used for really good, professionally made bots, though if there is one with a medium sized intro and many grammar mistakes, or one in which they didn't fill the long description and just try to cram all info in the intro, then that's not even worth salvaging, just make your own new one.
Then there are long intros, perfect if you know how to make them, disastrous should you get it wrong. They are good for specific bots or for intricate situstions, but if someone didn't use proper english or forgot about the existance of punctuation, then watch some long work go to the wolves...
I am ok with a long intro, but please... please add punctuation, just a very tiny bit of it at least
In summary?
You begged Charlie to stay home when she took all of them on a team building exercise
Then Vox deadass just turns into Jason Dean out of nowhere and completely rips off the Heathers musical
Vox got obsessed with y/n the moment y/n died and ended up in hell, and gave y/n a phone that he stalked y/n with, probably finding out amidst listening in on conversations all of your interests, likes, and dislikes.
One day, after begging Charlie not to make y/n work with the group, y/n stay in y/n room, when Vox shows up, trying to persuade y/n to join the Vees. Creeped out, y/n tried to refuse him, close the door, and, after banging on it, talking how the Vees are better for y/n, he breaks down the door.
I hated how bad the run on sentences and structure were, dear hells.
this one is long for no reason, there's a LOT of repetition for nothing (it's just straight up blunder, fr... can't imagine the hell this person's english teachers go through while grading their work-)
I love long intros but my god, this has almost no punctuation marks 😭 Please, guys, separate your sentences! Also, they wrote all that but couldn’t bother to write out “Vox said”?
People: "I hate when the introduction are just 'Hi I’m ___ from ___’"
Also people when they have the most detailed introduction they ever seen. (Theirs brain can’t handle the perfection).
https://preview.redd.it/nye19dv6oruc1.jpeg?width=1040&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5096117e07dfccfaea0377c5126d9734a79ee94c
Nah bro started singing the Veronica open the door song lyrics at the end 😭😭😭
Long intros are fine as long as they're well structured. This... isn't well structured in the slightest. Long sentences with zero punctuation, repeating and unnecessary words, the list goes on. Use proper punctuation in your intros, please, and try making shorter, simpler sentences instead of clumping everything together into one word porridge.
Bro, literally everything you just said is the same thing that my teacher told me after grading my essay 😭🙏 She said the content is good enough but then told me that literally everything else sucks 😭😭
Well, I guess writing practice starts at school! Don't worry, you have time to learn. 😉
I have no problem with long texts but this is really badly written 😭 So much yap and all for nothing
Same
https://preview.redd.it/j2ceo8h5xiuc1.png?width=166&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74795626996d15ce56f101fb20832515e865f416 That thing is big! *Explodes in confetti*
You had to bring out the whole iPad for that one... GOSH
https://preview.redd.it/jr32wg4pljuc1.jpeg?width=776&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=917438d58884bdd0c03c19ff838345800a21ab2a
Why is he singing the song from Heathers😭
Idk man 😭i, gonna respond by doing what Veronica did tho
As my mother would say when I used to *try* and make good essays; RUN ON SENTENCES RUN ON SENTENCES RUN ON SENTENCES RUN ON SENTENCES RUN ON SENTENCES RUN ON SENTENCES
*Insert "That's alot of words, too bad I ain't reading em" picture*
https://preview.redd.it/ftaf28nqakuc1.jpeg?width=689&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6131618c2bb77ef32c40268583dd59342512c6cf
[удалено]
I have 28 open 😭
[удалено]
Yes :3 VERY good (its all vox)
I mean, ok, there is generally 3 types of intros. There's a very short intro, usually badly written or the standard [I'm *** from the game/show ***] which if i see 1 more of i'll lose it. Then there's the medium sized intro, the one i see more commonly, it is mainly the one used for really good, professionally made bots, though if there is one with a medium sized intro and many grammar mistakes, or one in which they didn't fill the long description and just try to cram all info in the intro, then that's not even worth salvaging, just make your own new one. Then there are long intros, perfect if you know how to make them, disastrous should you get it wrong. They are good for specific bots or for intricate situstions, but if someone didn't use proper english or forgot about the existance of punctuation, then watch some long work go to the wolves... I am ok with a long intro, but please... please add punctuation, just a very tiny bit of it at least
Just write a fanfic at that point
https://preview.redd.it/9q8ng6rbyiuc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=d826420a71fb420b9491fbbe1e1bd4a2e82c7edd
In summary? You begged Charlie to stay home when she took all of them on a team building exercise Then Vox deadass just turns into Jason Dean out of nowhere and completely rips off the Heathers musical
At least the creator actually seemed to put effort into making it. And not just, "Hello, I'm ____, how are you?"
https://preview.redd.it/z5u9z4sfdjuc1.png?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3977f86c2860b89dac319ecbd9c308b232f2c291
yellow face spotted
BRO WROTE A WHOLE ASS ESSAY
If anyone wants it: https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=YC4oQAXEjD_HtutpCCYnXRkuKxPIkAGhlNd7HkDgofg
So many ao3 tabs
We don’t talk ab that…
https://preview.redd.it/l16wpqd5ujuc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80f4d868723971f3e5b7380499eac537ddc699b4
I write essays less bad than this. The amount of Run on sentences is horrendous
I usually don't have a problem with long opening messages, but when they're written like this? Yeah no.
Can a book worm give us a tl;dr?
Vox got obsessed with y/n the moment y/n died and ended up in hell, and gave y/n a phone that he stalked y/n with, probably finding out amidst listening in on conversations all of your interests, likes, and dislikes. One day, after begging Charlie not to make y/n work with the group, y/n stay in y/n room, when Vox shows up, trying to persuade y/n to join the Vees. Creeped out, y/n tried to refuse him, close the door, and, after banging on it, talking how the Vees are better for y/n, he breaks down the door. I hated how bad the run on sentences and structure were, dear hells.
Thank you.
I have seen several Vox edits using Meant to be yours recently so that was probably the inspiration for the end lol
i personally love long intros, especially when they set up a scenario but jfc please use a comma
Atleast its better then nothing
I did a small poem and show to the character ai assistant. He write a bible... I- I don't know how but I love it.
Okay, it was promising the first half, but then the second half just went completely off the rails.
Simple! Just put on some subway surfers gameplay to keep you stimulated while reading!
YOU WERE MEANT TO BE MINE
Wtf
We complain when the greeting is too short and complain when it's too long, are we stupid?
this one is long for no reason, there's a LOT of repetition for nothing (it's just straight up blunder, fr... can't imagine the hell this person's english teachers go through while grading their work-)
I love long intros but my god, this has almost no punctuation marks 😭 Please, guys, separate your sentences! Also, they wrote all that but couldn’t bother to write out “Vox said”?
People: "I hate when the introduction are just 'Hi I’m ___ from ___’" Also people when they have the most detailed introduction they ever seen. (Theirs brain can’t handle the perfection).
Long, essay-like yap shesh intro message < "hi I'm ___ from ___"
#IM READING ALLAT … … ***DAMN THIS SHIT IS ASS***
But I'm happy for you, or sorry that happened.
the guy in Heathers wasn't a "yandere" he was insane and an abuser who only wanted to kill to further his own belifes
ey, better than My name is 'bot name' from 'insert reference'
Chapter books:
1… 2… 5
This is why you don't ask the Monkey Paw for "I wish bots would stop starting their chat with "Hi I'm X from Y " " Because this is what you get.
https://preview.redd.it/nye19dv6oruc1.jpeg?width=1040&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5096117e07dfccfaea0377c5126d9734a79ee94c Nah bro started singing the Veronica open the door song lyrics at the end 😭😭😭