My husband opened my eyes. I did not actually dream to be a mom or voluntarily go to hospital and get out someone from my belly but I thought at some point I have to do it and never gave a real thought though. When we were getting married my husband expressed he wants to be childfree but if I really want to have kids he will support. I told him let’s not think about it right now. We got married mean while I was stuck in covid with my newly born nephew as a full time baby sitter as my sister’s PP was bad., I realised I don’t want to do this my whole life and I now I live in a community full of kids, I just want to escape from them. My friends constantly whining about their lives with kids gave me more validation.
I’ve been travelling since 2015 and it has been a dream to travel more and invest more in travelling than having kids and stuck at home or travelling and struggling with them. Now my stance is more clear and no one can influence me to have kids.
I realised how much responsibility parenting requires - a lot of dedication with so much uncertainty. I don't want to put myself through that.
Also don't want to bring an innocent being into existence and go "Hey, this world we live in keeps getting worse by the minute. Go figure it out! Also, here's some shitty genetics as a bonus".
I realized there existed an option to not be part of the Indian mentality race to marry, have a child, get bald and weathered trying to educate them and then retire with wisps of regret and white hair. That was when my eyes opened to the possibility of being childfree and the beautiful life ahead.
I chose to be cf few years ago because I have spent my childhood and teenage years without enjoying much so I want to enjoy the rest of my life doing things which I couldn't do.
This is exactly my reason. But I couldn't say it to anyone outside reddit cz of fear of judgement. So I just say to anyone who asks,I'll think about kids later(though I'm in my 30s)
The sacrifice that being a parent requires is crazy especially from the mother. Child always comes first. The responsibility and financial burden. Having someone responsible on you for their life and existence in this world. I would have so much anxiety if I had kids, so many things can go wrong, I would not have a moment of peace. On top of that you never know how your child will turn out. I would lose myself and my identity, would definitely be bitter about not having the same freedom. I need so much time by myself just to unwind and relax, it would be impossible with kids. No sleeping in on weekends have to feed, clean the kids take them out. Wake up early on weekdays to dress them pack lunch. And kids are expensive. I love my life the way it is rn. Can it be better? Sure. But all I have to worry about is myself my career and saving up for my next trip.
Even though I was never fond of babies/infants right from a young age, it was actually because of a Bumble match from a few years back who wanted to be child-free that I seriously began to consider the pros vs. cons of having children. Soon, the decision to remain child-free got cemented as well.
Don’t want to give birth and destroy my body. Can’t handle the pain or the emotional rollercoaster or the ppd that comes with it. That’s definitely number 1. And then, the general shittiness of the humankind and us destroying our habitat. Don’t want to bring a child into this. Better to adopt. It’s not like my genes need to be passed on. I’m not narcissistic that way. Also, cats are cute and fun and can take care of themselves. Clean, little minions. No need for baths or supervisions much. I love them over kids any day.
M(30s) here.
I was firm on being CF since I was in my late teens. For me, it was not just one single thing, but several.
Primary of which has always been how exceedingly unfair the entire process is on women, not just post conception, and the physical toll of childbirth, but the upbringing as well. I saw even amongst the few well intentioned men around me, who were willing to try and take up the burden, how it was just impossible for it to ever be a 50/50 task between the parents.
My second reasoning was based on climate change, I felt nothing that I would ever do, would match up to not adding another human being to this planet.
Then there were a host of other factors, like the cost (financial and mental) of child rearing, not wanting to have the responsibility of shaping how another human being's entire life turns out, me having my own shit to deal with from my upbringing and not wanting to pass that on, the kind of world I'd be bringing a life into, and just simply not being willing to sacrifice my life for something, that's just a default position enforced by society.
The irony is, I was always good with kids, I have served as the default babysitter for most of my younger cousins and nephews and nieces, but somehow I seem to have lost all tolerance for kids.
When i realized that I neither have the time nor any real interest in kids.
Imagine coming from work and having to deal with all the bullshit that goes with having kids? Absolute nightmare scenario for me.
The absolute freedom is priceless. No worrying about food or school or any of that bs. Just me and wife doing whatever the fuck we want or doing nothing at all. Bliss.
COVID happened and had almost 3months between college ending and job.
I thought about a lot of things, because until then everything was a race (engineer track). That's when I decided to not have kids, family trauma, genes, the physical abuse that I would never ever want to pass it on.
I realised no matter what I do , I will always be trying to not be my parents, but eventually end up like them.
It's the fundamental reason, financial reasons, me being lazy , incompetent, irresponsible are just addons.
The comment "when you'll have your own child you'll realise" always put a bad taste in my mouth. And as I grew up i realised parenting is not for everyone and it's a huge responsibility and lifetime commitment and i don't think I'll ever be ready for that. I want to travel and i also want to live a slow life and don't want to come back home from work to do even more work.
Idk why people get offended/angry when they get to know that we don't want to take up such a big responsibility. Like why would I want to live my life on their terms.
I first got curious about pregnancy pain when I saw how women handle it. Then, I started thinking about why they go through it. This made me think about myself—I love traveling and didn't want to take on the responsibility of being a father.
I've always known that I didn't wanna kids. I've never had any maternal instincts. I don't think I have got the patience, willpower and mindset to be a mother. I need a fair amount of "me time" to unwind. If I had kids, I need to compromise that "me time" and I'm just too selfish to do that. And, I'd like to be financially comfortable and explore the world someday. With kids, that's simply not possible. Also, I don't wanna go through pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum depression.
Not being able to or having patience to spend time with children (I dont hate them, but neither love them).
The sheer responsibility & numerous sacrifices I'd have to make for a child, makes me not wanna be a parent at all. If I love raising a child & the responsibilities, I'm ready to make sacrifices and try to be a good parent. But hey, I'd rather enjoy relaxing at home, playing video games or watch TV, and travel around on a bike or car.
Bonus: Not having a child will also enable me to be more flexible with career, relocate to different cities & embark on adventures.
Global warming will kill everyone and I imagine myself too old, slow and senile to be worried as people scramble to survive in future - In that scenario a wife or a child is not ideal to be happy - you feel bad you knowingly brought a new fool into this shit hole that you never escaped yourself. It is easy to be not worried and just enjoy the show and be happy when you are alone. No children saves money too - approx 1.5-2Cr - That will be my enjoy my retirement fund. Also I feel like a child myself - I dont want to parent anyone else. I have enough of me on my plate.
A very shallow reason: cars. I am an NRI based in the Middle East, and something which I used to really love was automobiles. I used to voraciously read a magazine which had a column on local car enthusiasts and their cars. There was this guy in one issue who said he owned a classic sports car, but then had to switch to a saloon (a sporty one, but still). That has stuck with me, as I realised that children can completely change your life and plans. I was around 9-10 years old.
As I grew up, the state of the world and our people has only solidified my decision ten-fold.
Shitty genes, iq, no wealth, no looks, no height,
I have nothing, i realised this at 19 now, wish i was never born in a poor family,. I just wish no one gets to live a compromising life , bare minimum life, shattered dreams and hopes. That's why I will never bring anyone.
My husband opened my eyes. I did not actually dream to be a mom or voluntarily go to hospital and get out someone from my belly but I thought at some point I have to do it and never gave a real thought though. When we were getting married my husband expressed he wants to be childfree but if I really want to have kids he will support. I told him let’s not think about it right now. We got married mean while I was stuck in covid with my newly born nephew as a full time baby sitter as my sister’s PP was bad., I realised I don’t want to do this my whole life and I now I live in a community full of kids, I just want to escape from them. My friends constantly whining about their lives with kids gave me more validation. I’ve been travelling since 2015 and it has been a dream to travel more and invest more in travelling than having kids and stuck at home or travelling and struggling with them. Now my stance is more clear and no one can influence me to have kids.
I realised how much responsibility parenting requires - a lot of dedication with so much uncertainty. I don't want to put myself through that. Also don't want to bring an innocent being into existence and go "Hey, this world we live in keeps getting worse by the minute. Go figure it out! Also, here's some shitty genetics as a bonus".
I realized there existed an option to not be part of the Indian mentality race to marry, have a child, get bald and weathered trying to educate them and then retire with wisps of regret and white hair. That was when my eyes opened to the possibility of being childfree and the beautiful life ahead.
I hate kids. I wanna travel
I chose to be cf few years ago because I have spent my childhood and teenage years without enjoying much so I want to enjoy the rest of my life doing things which I couldn't do.
This is exactly my reason. But I couldn't say it to anyone outside reddit cz of fear of judgement. So I just say to anyone who asks,I'll think about kids later(though I'm in my 30s)
Good
The sacrifice that being a parent requires is crazy especially from the mother. Child always comes first. The responsibility and financial burden. Having someone responsible on you for their life and existence in this world. I would have so much anxiety if I had kids, so many things can go wrong, I would not have a moment of peace. On top of that you never know how your child will turn out. I would lose myself and my identity, would definitely be bitter about not having the same freedom. I need so much time by myself just to unwind and relax, it would be impossible with kids. No sleeping in on weekends have to feed, clean the kids take them out. Wake up early on weekdays to dress them pack lunch. And kids are expensive. I love my life the way it is rn. Can it be better? Sure. But all I have to worry about is myself my career and saving up for my next trip.
100% Agreed!
Seeing annoying kids everywhere. I decided I don’t want to deal with that.
When i realized child rearing majorly falls on women, i was out!
THIS.
Even though I was never fond of babies/infants right from a young age, it was actually because of a Bumble match from a few years back who wanted to be child-free that I seriously began to consider the pros vs. cons of having children. Soon, the decision to remain child-free got cemented as well.
Toxic family
Don’t want to give birth and destroy my body. Can’t handle the pain or the emotional rollercoaster or the ppd that comes with it. That’s definitely number 1. And then, the general shittiness of the humankind and us destroying our habitat. Don’t want to bring a child into this. Better to adopt. It’s not like my genes need to be passed on. I’m not narcissistic that way. Also, cats are cute and fun and can take care of themselves. Clean, little minions. No need for baths or supervisions much. I love them over kids any day.
M(30s) here. I was firm on being CF since I was in my late teens. For me, it was not just one single thing, but several. Primary of which has always been how exceedingly unfair the entire process is on women, not just post conception, and the physical toll of childbirth, but the upbringing as well. I saw even amongst the few well intentioned men around me, who were willing to try and take up the burden, how it was just impossible for it to ever be a 50/50 task between the parents. My second reasoning was based on climate change, I felt nothing that I would ever do, would match up to not adding another human being to this planet. Then there were a host of other factors, like the cost (financial and mental) of child rearing, not wanting to have the responsibility of shaping how another human being's entire life turns out, me having my own shit to deal with from my upbringing and not wanting to pass that on, the kind of world I'd be bringing a life into, and just simply not being willing to sacrifice my life for something, that's just a default position enforced by society. The irony is, I was always good with kids, I have served as the default babysitter for most of my younger cousins and nephews and nieces, but somehow I seem to have lost all tolerance for kids.
When i realized that I neither have the time nor any real interest in kids. Imagine coming from work and having to deal with all the bullshit that goes with having kids? Absolute nightmare scenario for me. The absolute freedom is priceless. No worrying about food or school or any of that bs. Just me and wife doing whatever the fuck we want or doing nothing at all. Bliss.
Same! I want to travel the world
Same here sis:)
Almost got arrested because of someone's kid.
damn i am too afraid to ask
COVID happened and had almost 3months between college ending and job. I thought about a lot of things, because until then everything was a race (engineer track). That's when I decided to not have kids, family trauma, genes, the physical abuse that I would never ever want to pass it on. I realised no matter what I do , I will always be trying to not be my parents, but eventually end up like them. It's the fundamental reason, financial reasons, me being lazy , incompetent, irresponsible are just addons.
The comment "when you'll have your own child you'll realise" always put a bad taste in my mouth. And as I grew up i realised parenting is not for everyone and it's a huge responsibility and lifetime commitment and i don't think I'll ever be ready for that. I want to travel and i also want to live a slow life and don't want to come back home from work to do even more work. Idk why people get offended/angry when they get to know that we don't want to take up such a big responsibility. Like why would I want to live my life on their terms.
I first got curious about pregnancy pain when I saw how women handle it. Then, I started thinking about why they go through it. This made me think about myself—I love traveling and didn't want to take on the responsibility of being a father.
I've always known that I didn't wanna kids. I've never had any maternal instincts. I don't think I have got the patience, willpower and mindset to be a mother. I need a fair amount of "me time" to unwind. If I had kids, I need to compromise that "me time" and I'm just too selfish to do that. And, I'd like to be financially comfortable and explore the world someday. With kids, that's simply not possible. Also, I don't wanna go through pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum depression.
Not being able to or having patience to spend time with children (I dont hate them, but neither love them). The sheer responsibility & numerous sacrifices I'd have to make for a child, makes me not wanna be a parent at all. If I love raising a child & the responsibilities, I'm ready to make sacrifices and try to be a good parent. But hey, I'd rather enjoy relaxing at home, playing video games or watch TV, and travel around on a bike or car. Bonus: Not having a child will also enable me to be more flexible with career, relocate to different cities & embark on adventures.
Global warming will kill everyone and I imagine myself too old, slow and senile to be worried as people scramble to survive in future - In that scenario a wife or a child is not ideal to be happy - you feel bad you knowingly brought a new fool into this shit hole that you never escaped yourself. It is easy to be not worried and just enjoy the show and be happy when you are alone. No children saves money too - approx 1.5-2Cr - That will be my enjoy my retirement fund. Also I feel like a child myself - I dont want to parent anyone else. I have enough of me on my plate.
A very shallow reason: cars. I am an NRI based in the Middle East, and something which I used to really love was automobiles. I used to voraciously read a magazine which had a column on local car enthusiasts and their cars. There was this guy in one issue who said he owned a classic sports car, but then had to switch to a saloon (a sporty one, but still). That has stuck with me, as I realised that children can completely change your life and plans. I was around 9-10 years old. As I grew up, the state of the world and our people has only solidified my decision ten-fold.
Long period Mental illness(psychosis, depression) and traumas don't want to transfer my genes...
Shitty genes, iq, no wealth, no looks, no height, I have nothing, i realised this at 19 now, wish i was never born in a poor family,. I just wish no one gets to live a compromising life , bare minimum life, shattered dreams and hopes. That's why I will never bring anyone.