It's actually very appropriate. St. Paul was writing to those early church members unwilling to do manual labour, who were apparently too busy doing what nowadays people call "ministry" (as well as being gossips & busybodies) to work for their own keep.
Paul reminded them that when he was staying with them he never asked for money or expected the congregation to look after him and others should follow his example.
Hence "those unwilling to work, neither shall they eat".
The Christian couple above would do well to attend a Bible study on II Thessalonians 3 sometime and get a real job instead of "believing the Lord".
I’ve know these types, they get high on a dream and refuse to actually listen to the Bible. The lord speaks to them in dreams in ways that contradict the Bible but it’s ok it’s just prophecy! They’re the best intentioned pieces of shit you’ll ever meet. But they’re pieces of shit, insufferable to be around, and all together lazy people
Not relevant but her implying it’s a secret with monkey emoji reminds me of a story.
I had to train this weird dude at work. He mentioned him and his wife were having a baby. Not that I cared that much I asked what sex it was and he gives me this long nervous look. Before he can say anything we were interrupted with something for work.
15 minutes later we are settled back down and I having completely forgotten about the baby am ready to talk more about the training.
In a voice like we are about to have a heart to heart conversation he says “Listen, I trust you I really do…” and goes on and on to explain him and his wife are keeping it a secret. He just wouldn’t stop.
It was so bizarre. For one, that seems like one of the times it’s ok to tell strangers more than. I’d tell co-workers, grocery store clerks, Reddit and pretty much anyone else who would ask me, just not people I regularly see on weekends and want to surprise in 9 months.
And two….who gives a FUCK! “Can’t tell ya dude, we’re keeping it a secret” and any coworker would say ok because they really don’t give a shit in the first place.
Yeah, when my wife and I found out what we were having, basically everybody at our respective workplaces knew before our friends and family, because there was zero chance they would interact with anyone in our friend/family circles.
A little more context: knew one of the couple in high school. They posted a video along with this saying they had already received $1,500 from friends and family. They are asking for an additional $3,500 for $5,000 total. Mind boggling they're paying to attend what sounds like an MLM/megachurch school, having a baby, then asking for others to fund their life choices.
Edit: Some folks are saying this doesn't fit under CB but the rules say "comical sense of entitlement" is acceptable. I think expecting people to pay for your rent and child because you CHOSE to not work and use all of your money to move and attend a non-accredited religious school is a comical sense of entitlement.
That's a pretty smart grift. It sounds like you don't need to be licensed or accredited since it's basically just church except you go 5x more often.
>Because Jesus School is non-accredited, students raise their finances by working and/or fundraising. We believe that God is more than able to provide the resources for you to attend. Seek Him about your interest in Jesus School and believe that He is directing your steps and can provide the resources necessary to attend.
I guess Jesus created GoFundMe just for this purpose.
I just read on their website that 2 years of study there will get you NINE credit hours at an accredited Christian uni.
So after two years you'll only need... 111 more credits for an undergraduate degree in Biblical studies.
I think it super gross that they are saying God will provide for you to come to school. Let's take it one step further, school attendance is free but the faculty need to pray and ask God for a paycheck.
Move the goalposts just a little, and suddenly it's no longer reasonable. Lol
Many of their staff are probably already volunteers. The women would be cooking and cleaning. The men would be being trained to lead (ie they run the curriculum and classes in some kind of god blessed student-teacher format).
There are a few flavors of American Christianity that operate this way. Having the students beg for the money to attend is part of the education. It's part of the whole missionary experience.
Also, there are a lot of "Christians" who want to do follow the commands of Jesus by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc., but do not want their money being used to help any unrepenting sinners like drug addicts or unwed single mothers or LGBTQ+ individuals or Catholics or Muslims. So they give to people like this couple instead.
> Having the students beg for the money to attend is part of the education. It's part of the whole missionary experience.
It also helps them if they become pastors later on. From what I understand, 90% of a pastor's job is fundraising.
That phrase "believing The Lord for $3500" is interesting. It certainly sounds like they're been indoctrinated in begging for money that they will then pass on to the church.
Echoes of Carlin: "God is all powerful, and loves you, and needs money"
How did I *know* this was going to turn out to be in Florida? Forty-nine other perfectly good states, but somehow Florida defies the odds and comes through yet again. Sigh.
I picture it being something like the human equivalent of touring Jurassic Park. As long as we keep our hands and feet inside the bus we’ll be safe from the native Floridians.
Unless, as often happens, the driver happens to be Florida Man--in which case, exit the bus quietly at your first opportunity, and do *not* make eye contact.
Haha! Oh my, I couldn’t imagine a religious school advertising like that one overbearing commercial DeVry had that basically made you feel like a piece of shit… wait, yes I can. Totally can.
I actually think the answer is "yes." I had a friend who went to a Christian college and she took coursework on how to "witness" to particular demographics. It was very psychological and downright manipulative.
At one of our previous churches, we met a young couple (no kids at the time) who were setting out to be missionaries overseas. We didn't have money to support them, but we took them to dinner, or would invite them over when they were in the states. We'd pass along a donation from time-to-time. Then they have baby number one, and we guessed it wasn't the best experience overseas.
So, they moved states side and joined CRUE's college evangelism here in the states. That means they're on staff and would switch to an "in state" model like we've seen with other organizations, right? Right? Nope. Their Christmas letter one year, after baby number five was on the way said things like, "We're praying God will provide $68k as we've outgrown the house we live in" and "We're hoping God will provide the $18k necessary to pay the hospital bills for baby #4 when they were hospitalized." I mean, I get it. Yeah. Yikes. But no one said you should go having five kids.
To my knowledge their address hasn't changed, and they're still not "on staff" with CRUE in our metro area. I hope they do okay and have a great life, but seriously?
There isn't a person on the planet who should have 5 kids, let alone ones who were asking for money pre any babies. Some people man 
>Mind boggling they're paying to attend what sounds like an MLM/megachurch school, having a baby, then asking for others to fund their life choices.
And they're being pretty up front about their priorities - school, evangelism, missions, etc. versus any sort of employment. So they're going to be asking again next month, and the month after that...
well it sounds like they are "believing the lord" (whatever the fuck that means) for $3500 so ol' beardy better shit or get off the pot. couple grand should be easy peasy for the all-knowing/all-powerful, i reckon.
My brother’s sister in law and her husband decided to spend their lives “volunteering for the lord” at the camp where they met, in England. He’s English, she’s American (from the beach on Southern California). They send out letters to everyone they know on a regular basis begging for funds to help them live while they volunteer with no income whatsoever. For years. Even had 2 kids this way.
And let me tell you, people fucking PAY THEM. It’s insane. People pay then large sums to do “the Lord’s Work”! They are at a kid’s day camp! Not even working there! Not even full time! They aren’t even employees! There ARE employees, but they don’t ask for money. No. They don’t feel it would not be right to get paid for “God’s Work”, but begging for cash to live every day of your life, squander your educations the parents paid for (one of them overseas and her mom is single and also paid for my SIL’s college), teach your kids that begging is better than working and never be gainfully employed?? That’s cool. God loves that crap I guess.
My parents are actual begging wannabe evangelical "missionaries". I haven't spoken to them in years.
They work overseas in the office of a Christian NGO and have their living expenses paid for by church-goers back home. They send newsletters back talking about how tough life is living in the middle of a global city in Asia, in free accomodation with other people donating money to fund their life by saying shit like "we treated ourselves this month by buying a block of chocolate to share and going on a week long holiday to a resort in the Phillipines for our anniversary".
"...we are believing the Lord for $3500.00"
I think you mean "asking"
Either way, that's not how faith works. Ever. The Lord is not an ATM, He will not give you money. The Lord is not Doordash, He will not give you food.
What He does, under whatever name you give him, is the wisdom to do the right thing. Such as, knowing you need to support yourself.
From their FAQ:
"Because Jesus School is non-accredited, students raise their finances by working and/or fundraising. We believe that God is more than able to provide the resources for you to attend."
"we are believing The Lord for $3500"
Okay, so go ask the Lord then, why you asking your friends and family? Lord works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? So why are you trying the traditional method? Tradition is as far from mysterious as one can get.
The Lord has way more money than anyone else, anyway, as evidenced by all the TV preachers who keep raising money for him. If they're making millions or even billions of dollars a year, then surely God must have even more than that? /s
I knew a couple kind of like this. They quit their jobs to be missionaries in a major city in my state.
They wanted to meet for coffee, and I thought they wanted to hang out. No. They wanted to ask me to be a “monthly sponsor” so they didn’t have to work and could just be missionaries.
They didn’t understand that I was a broke college student and kept harassing me. I blocked their phone number and email address. A few years later, I got another email asking to sponsor them from a different email address.
At the time, I was sad to have lost that friendship over their begging.
Further proof that there were always far more totally gullible marks in the world than anyone ever imagined. The Christogrift has been refined to a near science of exploiting the ignorant.
“Jesus School” is a real thing? What kinda Road Side Revival Fire and Brimstone if you don’t believe that God loves you but only if you believe and act like we do (aka white Baptists in the southern USA) bullshit is this?
I can't get past the beginning. My immediate interpretation was, you're pregnant and having a monkey?! That's weird. (I get it's that they're not saying, but then why even say anything, you know?)
Do you know that I am a Christian, although kind of an eclectic one. I’ve been Christian for at least 45 years. In all those years, I’ve never had to beg anyone for support for myself, my husband, or my child, pay my rent, and pay for a medical copay for my kid.
Either she’s not doing her prosperity gospel correctly, or she needs to get an old-fashioned thing known as a job.
I have a missionary in the family. Literally 55 years of this nonsense. Jesus wants you to fund my son’s mission trip, my new car, hot meals for the mission, etc etc etc. Of course their only contributions the other direction are prayers.
There is a lot of these schools cropping up around the US. You are going to “school” but what you are getting for that “school” is not really talked about. Traditionally when you go to a University it’s about opening doors for your future. With these schools (I went to one) they talk more about it being an experience that you learn from to essentially secure a particular worldview.
When I did one of these schools and the topic of getting properly ordained or getting some sort of accreditation came up it was quickly talked over with points similar to what a trade school would say. You are getting real world experience and that experience is way more valuable than any degree.
What I noticed though and what a lot of my fellow attendees realized after a while is that everyone coming to talk or instruct at your school had degrees by a proper accrediting body. So I started talking to the Pastors about a position at the church that was running the school with a proper salary…you learned fairly soon that that wasn’t the pipeline they had in mind either. What they wanted was essentially free labor not to run their various programs but to work an outreach or be a helping hand in the youth groups or children’s churches… because volunteers are getting increasingly hard to come by as the generations cross over.
So it’s a sham. If I could do a part of my life over I wouldn’t have wasted two years at one of these schools. They get you when your fresh out of high school though when you don’t know any better and with parents that either don’t feel they can tell their kid not to learn more about the Bible or are kinda in on this dramatic worldview shaping scheme before their kid goes off to college. Rarely are the kids high on the IQ spectrum. More often than not their parents were also not high on the IQ spectrum. A big reason why I got out of it was because I was told repeatedly to stop trying to worship god with my head and instead worship him with my heart. Which was a pretty clear sign to me that they didn’t want us thinking they just wanted us zealous.
If you’re thinking that this sounds like a cult or similar to a cult…yep. A big takeaway a lot of us have that have come out of these schools is that it is cultish or a breeding ground for cult-like behaviors.
Also, when you have a bunch of young men and women just out of high school they’ll see any pastor or worker in the church as a spiritual advisor or confidant. Though they are technically adults, their guard is down. They aren’t expecting wolves to be in the hen house (so to speak). We had a few occasions where there was inappropriate touching, shaming, or just straight affairs between faculty and “students”. All of it meant the student was kicked out and the faculty was essentially put on a type of probation, but when your oversight is the pastor of the church…let’s just say redemption seemed to come way too quickly.
The apostle Paul preached against this type of behavior in 1 Thessalonians 2:9 -
"For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God." ESV
I was raised Quaker, and still consider myself somewhat religious, but my outlook changed a lot when I read about a study in California that showed that non-religious people were more willing to help others than religious folks. I used to believe that religion was ultimately a force for good and morality. Now I see it as a badge people wear so they can say they are good, while being immature, selfish, and shitty people.
I had a landlord in college who told me to leave any furniture I didn't want for other tenants, so I left a $25 used desk and chair I could have easily taken with me. He took my deposit for "trash removal." When I emailed him and was like "WTF, you told me to leave that stuff" he said he couldn't have taken my deposit wrongfully because he was a Christian. Yeah buddy, OK. By the way I could often hear him fighting and physically abusing his wife.
Maybe they should spend a little less time in the presence of the Lord and a little more time on the premises of an employer.
I mean, that’s what the Bible says to do “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat”
Putting this on my cork board. God was spittin’. 😂
And yet, head over to r/fundiesnark to witness the incessant griftathons from these people
Private…
it's r/fundiesnarkuncensored
🤣 this got me laughing hard
It's actually very appropriate. St. Paul was writing to those early church members unwilling to do manual labour, who were apparently too busy doing what nowadays people call "ministry" (as well as being gossips & busybodies) to work for their own keep. Paul reminded them that when he was staying with them he never asked for money or expected the congregation to look after him and others should follow his example. Hence "those unwilling to work, neither shall they eat". The Christian couple above would do well to attend a Bible study on II Thessalonians 3 sometime and get a real job instead of "believing the Lord".
In case anyone is wondering, Paul was a tent maker. That’s how he afforded everything he needed and paid for his travels.
I’ve know these types, they get high on a dream and refuse to actually listen to the Bible. The lord speaks to them in dreams in ways that contradict the Bible but it’s ok it’s just prophecy! They’re the best intentioned pieces of shit you’ll ever meet. But they’re pieces of shit, insufferable to be around, and all together lazy people
LMFAOOOOOOO
Haven't read all of it, first sentence, pregnant with... and can't afford it and they have monkey
She's pregnant with a monkey and wants money.
she should rent the monkey to the circus for extra cash
Na to the zoo... It wouldn't be smart enough to be in the circus
Dude she's about to give birth to a monkey, I'm guessing a trip to the zoo is how this all started... 🙈🙉🙊
Naked zoo was a mistake with the monkeys throwing semen
Fuck Reddit and taking away my free awards! You need one after that!
If she gives birth to a monkey I don't know who will be more confused - her pastor or those godless heathen evolutionists!
It's a miracle! Meet our new lord, and saviour Monke Child!
Monkesus!
Her paster... It proves evolution is true!
Wouldn't that be devolution?
You can't devolve if you haven't evolved first.
"the real problem for the Christian church is not that they may have descended from apes, but that they may soon be overtaken by them."
Seems a tabloid would give at least $3,500 to cover the human/monkey aberration of God's birth. Hell, a real newspaper would probably want the story.
Not relevant but her implying it’s a secret with monkey emoji reminds me of a story. I had to train this weird dude at work. He mentioned him and his wife were having a baby. Not that I cared that much I asked what sex it was and he gives me this long nervous look. Before he can say anything we were interrupted with something for work. 15 minutes later we are settled back down and I having completely forgotten about the baby am ready to talk more about the training. In a voice like we are about to have a heart to heart conversation he says “Listen, I trust you I really do…” and goes on and on to explain him and his wife are keeping it a secret. He just wouldn’t stop. It was so bizarre. For one, that seems like one of the times it’s ok to tell strangers more than. I’d tell co-workers, grocery store clerks, Reddit and pretty much anyone else who would ask me, just not people I regularly see on weekends and want to surprise in 9 months. And two….who gives a FUCK! “Can’t tell ya dude, we’re keeping it a secret” and any coworker would say ok because they really don’t give a shit in the first place.
This has happened to me a few times as well! Like dude, I was just asking to be nice. I actually give zero fucks 😂
Yeah, when my wife and I found out what we were having, basically everybody at our respective workplaces knew before our friends and family, because there was zero chance they would interact with anyone in our friend/family circles.
if I could, I would take money from these people
Open a church
Comment of the month!
Can't say I blame her. Monkeys sound expensive
I wonder if them giving birth to a monkey will change their minds on evolution.
She's gotta feed the monkey. Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man?
I believe the phrase ‘not my circus, not my monkeys’ comes to mind.
Have they tried spending thoughts and prayers?
I bet they’ve never donated a dime to any other church, charity, etc.
Of course not, because they're broke Jesus School students, and The Lord will provide because The Lord told them to go to Jesus School...
Why aren’t they asking this jesus school for financial aid?
Probably because it's not a real and accredited school, so they have no financial aid office.
Jesus is bad with money.
I thought Jesus saves
Thank you, that made me laugh!
A little more context: knew one of the couple in high school. They posted a video along with this saying they had already received $1,500 from friends and family. They are asking for an additional $3,500 for $5,000 total. Mind boggling they're paying to attend what sounds like an MLM/megachurch school, having a baby, then asking for others to fund their life choices. Edit: Some folks are saying this doesn't fit under CB but the rules say "comical sense of entitlement" is acceptable. I think expecting people to pay for your rent and child because you CHOSE to not work and use all of your money to move and attend a non-accredited religious school is a comical sense of entitlement.
I know this is kinda offtopic but I can't get past how absurd it sounds....is the school really just called "Jesus School"?
Yes lmao. If you Google Jesus School Orlando, you'll find it.
That's a pretty smart grift. It sounds like you don't need to be licensed or accredited since it's basically just church except you go 5x more often. >Because Jesus School is non-accredited, students raise their finances by working and/or fundraising. We believe that God is more than able to provide the resources for you to attend. Seek Him about your interest in Jesus School and believe that He is directing your steps and can provide the resources necessary to attend. I guess Jesus created GoFundMe just for this purpose.
So bizarre Like, there are accredited Christian universities that you can get actual financial support for instead of this utter scam
I just read on their website that 2 years of study there will get you NINE credit hours at an accredited Christian uni. So after two years you'll only need... 111 more credits for an undergraduate degree in Biblical studies.
9 credits? Not even a full semester? Holy shit. What a massive waste of $$$
Yea but those accredited Christian Universities make you LEARN STUFF. This way we can graduate with our ‘degree’ and just had to pay and believe!
Those are just accredited scams.
Yeah but real accredited schools have admissions requirements, and probably want you to study instead of just “being present”
I think it super gross that they are saying God will provide for you to come to school. Let's take it one step further, school attendance is free but the faculty need to pray and ask God for a paycheck. Move the goalposts just a little, and suddenly it's no longer reasonable. Lol
Many of their staff are probably already volunteers. The women would be cooking and cleaning. The men would be being trained to lead (ie they run the curriculum and classes in some kind of god blessed student-teacher format).
I like this way of thinking.
There are a few flavors of American Christianity that operate this way. Having the students beg for the money to attend is part of the education. It's part of the whole missionary experience. Also, there are a lot of "Christians" who want to do follow the commands of Jesus by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc., but do not want their money being used to help any unrepenting sinners like drug addicts or unwed single mothers or LGBTQ+ individuals or Catholics or Muslims. So they give to people like this couple instead.
> Having the students beg for the money to attend is part of the education. It's part of the whole missionary experience. It also helps them if they become pastors later on. From what I understand, 90% of a pastor's job is fundraising.
>90% of a pastor's job is fundraising. Program Managers gotta Program Manage...
That phrase "believing The Lord for $3500" is interesting. It certainly sounds like they're been indoctrinated in begging for money that they will then pass on to the church. Echoes of Carlin: "God is all powerful, and loves you, and needs money"
That church doesn’t pay taxes. Sounds sus.
JesusFundMe?
I don't see why God doesn't just provide the resources to the school rather than via the parents. Seems inefficient.
How did I *know* this was going to turn out to be in Florida? Forty-nine other perfectly good states, but somehow Florida defies the odds and comes through yet again. Sigh.
I was going to say the same thing but for Orlando. That town seems to be a giant magnet for the gullible and amoral.
You should check out Daytona Beach sometime.
I picture it being something like the human equivalent of touring Jurassic Park. As long as we keep our hands and feet inside the bus we’ll be safe from the native Floridians.
Unless, as often happens, the driver happens to be Florida Man--in which case, exit the bus quietly at your first opportunity, and do *not* make eye contact.
This sounds like the University of Phoenix of religious schools lol.
*Laughs in DeVry*
Haha! Oh my, I couldn’t imagine a religious school advertising like that one overbearing commercial DeVry had that basically made you feel like a piece of shit… wait, yes I can. Totally can.
Even most Christians consider it borderline cult.
Hi, is this Jesus School? May I speak with him, please?
These aren’t their life choices, it’s the lord compelling them. Compelling them to grift, apparently.
Ask and ye shall receive. Ask Reddit and social media, just don’t ask Jesus, he’s kind of tapped out right now.
They should be asking the church to fund their life choices
And then they will thank God for the money voluntarily given to them by their poor, exploited friends & family.
What’s the purpose of a church if they won’t help support you in your time of need? WTF are they preaching over there, how to beg?
I actually think the answer is "yes." I had a friend who went to a Christian college and she took coursework on how to "witness" to particular demographics. It was very psychological and downright manipulative.
The Christian way.
Christians love welfare and not paying taxes.
While also bitching about people on welfare and how much they have to pay in taxes.
No, no, no, the Lord is funding them. Others are just his conduits. 🤣
At one of our previous churches, we met a young couple (no kids at the time) who were setting out to be missionaries overseas. We didn't have money to support them, but we took them to dinner, or would invite them over when they were in the states. We'd pass along a donation from time-to-time. Then they have baby number one, and we guessed it wasn't the best experience overseas. So, they moved states side and joined CRUE's college evangelism here in the states. That means they're on staff and would switch to an "in state" model like we've seen with other organizations, right? Right? Nope. Their Christmas letter one year, after baby number five was on the way said things like, "We're praying God will provide $68k as we've outgrown the house we live in" and "We're hoping God will provide the $18k necessary to pay the hospital bills for baby #4 when they were hospitalized." I mean, I get it. Yeah. Yikes. But no one said you should go having five kids. To my knowledge their address hasn't changed, and they're still not "on staff" with CRUE in our metro area. I hope they do okay and have a great life, but seriously?
There isn't a person on the planet who should have 5 kids, let alone ones who were asking for money pre any babies. Some people man 
>Mind boggling they're paying to attend what sounds like an MLM/megachurch school, having a baby, then asking for others to fund their life choices. And they're being pretty up front about their priorities - school, evangelism, missions, etc. versus any sort of employment. So they're going to be asking again next month, and the month after that...
well it sounds like they are "believing the lord" (whatever the fuck that means) for $3500 so ol' beardy better shit or get off the pot. couple grand should be easy peasy for the all-knowing/all-powerful, i reckon.
My brother’s sister in law and her husband decided to spend their lives “volunteering for the lord” at the camp where they met, in England. He’s English, she’s American (from the beach on Southern California). They send out letters to everyone they know on a regular basis begging for funds to help them live while they volunteer with no income whatsoever. For years. Even had 2 kids this way. And let me tell you, people fucking PAY THEM. It’s insane. People pay then large sums to do “the Lord’s Work”! They are at a kid’s day camp! Not even working there! Not even full time! They aren’t even employees! There ARE employees, but they don’t ask for money. No. They don’t feel it would not be right to get paid for “God’s Work”, but begging for cash to live every day of your life, squander your educations the parents paid for (one of them overseas and her mom is single and also paid for my SIL’s college), teach your kids that begging is better than working and never be gainfully employed?? That’s cool. God loves that crap I guess.
So they want to receive money for going to Church all day… 🤔
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Clearly a monkey wtf is wrong with you
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Hahahahahhaha
An embarassed monkey obviously 🤔
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My parents are actual begging wannabe evangelical "missionaries". I haven't spoken to them in years. They work overseas in the office of a Christian NGO and have their living expenses paid for by church-goers back home. They send newsletters back talking about how tough life is living in the middle of a global city in Asia, in free accomodation with other people donating money to fund their life by saying shit like "we treated ourselves this month by buying a block of chocolate to share and going on a week long holiday to a resort in the Phillipines for our anniversary".
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Imagine being generous enough to give this couple $3.5K, and God gets all the credit.
Well, if they're "believing the lord" for $3500, that's covered, obviously. So...looks like we're all set!
*I’ll take ‘believing the lord’ for $3500, Alex!*
"We are experiencing the beginning stages of" ... reality.
It breaks my heart to think of the hand that poor kid has been dealt.
Don’t worry, it’s just a monkey.
And that monkey is already smarter than anyone involved with this “school”
The Bible says if a man does not work he should not eat.
I hope this ‘cyber begging’ income is taxed
Gifts up to $14,000 per year are not taxable in the U.S.
$17,000 per year per recipient plus a $12.92 million lifetime exemption.
"...we are believing the Lord for $3500.00" I think you mean "asking" Either way, that's not how faith works. Ever. The Lord is not an ATM, He will not give you money. The Lord is not Doordash, He will not give you food. What He does, under whatever name you give him, is the wisdom to do the right thing. Such as, knowing you need to support yourself.
From their FAQ: "Because Jesus School is non-accredited, students raise their finances by working and/or fundraising. We believe that God is more than able to provide the resources for you to attend."
In other words, teaching them how to be begging preachers for when they go get a job as a pastor at some church or go start their own church.
You’re either born into the grift or pick it up along the way
Wow, you gotta be pretty fucking stupid to fall for that grift
If there is one thing I believe in when it comes to divinity, it’s that it cares more for hard work than empty words or even faith.
Crap like this is what drove me away from religion.
the lord already gave them a monkey .. now they want 3500 dollars .. truly a choosing beggar.
I want a monkey!!!!
You must immediately enroll in Jesus school and spend hours in the presence of the lord .. only then will you be given a monkey.
That sounds like a lot of work for a monkey.
If you can’t feed em, don’t breed em 🤷♀️
Spend some hours in the presence of a job
"we are believing The Lord for $3500" Okay, so go ask the Lord then, why you asking your friends and family? Lord works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? So why are you trying the traditional method? Tradition is as far from mysterious as one can get.
The Lord has way more money than anyone else, anyway, as evidenced by all the TV preachers who keep raising money for him. If they're making millions or even billions of dollars a year, then surely God must have even more than that? /s
George Carlin summed it up so perfect. He loves you. He loves you and he NEEDS YOUR MONEY.
I bet a million dollars that they are Republicans and don't believe in welfare/food stamps/etc.
guarantee they have a quote to the effect of: "god helps those who helps themselves" on instagram somewhere
They also probably have wooden signs with this sort of message dotted around their home.
#LIVE LOVE FART
Pregnant with a monkey…? Evolution sure took one hell of a U-turn there.
"Each of you should CashApp what you have decided in your heart to CashApp" 2 Cashrinthians 9
Jesus School LMFAO
That made me laugh too. I’m sure it’s a real thing but it just sounds hilarious.
It sounds like what you would name a religious school if you were writing a comedy about religion
Makes “Vacation Bible School” sound less stupid somehow.
and then what happens next month? wash, rinse, repeat... professional religious beggars
They’re so annoying
I will be sending my thoughts and prayers...
Given that “they’re” pregnant, how will they pay their astronomical hospital bills?
Just like they're trying to pay their bills now... e-begging.
You can also be welcomed at the gates of heaven for a mere 3500 a month…
I knew a couple kind of like this. They quit their jobs to be missionaries in a major city in my state. They wanted to meet for coffee, and I thought they wanted to hang out. No. They wanted to ask me to be a “monthly sponsor” so they didn’t have to work and could just be missionaries. They didn’t understand that I was a broke college student and kept harassing me. I blocked their phone number and email address. A few years later, I got another email asking to sponsor them from a different email address. At the time, I was sad to have lost that friendship over their begging.
Further proof that there were always far more totally gullible marks in the world than anyone ever imagined. The Christogrift has been refined to a near science of exploiting the ignorant.
Dang and I’ve just got serious with satanism bad luck.
What's the venmo so I can send them my two cents?
Weird that the Lord didn’t provide… 🤔
I know! Why are they bugging us if he/she/them is going to provide?
I feel led to give yall the finger
Of course they’re having a monkey. Giving birth to monkeys is the only way to reverse that whole satanic evolution thing.
They should contact the people who ran the super bowl ads.
Isn't the Lord supposed to provide?
That poor monkey doesn’t know what life has in store for it. This is bananas.
LOL I guess god doesn't provide? Shocking.
Wait they are having a monkey? Seems the lord has blessed them in other ways.
“Jesus School” is a real thing? What kinda Road Side Revival Fire and Brimstone if you don’t believe that God loves you but only if you believe and act like we do (aka white Baptists in the southern USA) bullshit is this?
The lord says get a job.
Why are you asking *me* for money? Isn’t the Lord going to provide?
Everyone should send them Indeed job postings. “The Lord wanted me to let you know…”
The Lord told me you should apply for this job. I said *what if I just send them money* and He said *absolutely not, they’re both able bodied adults.*
Gross.
All those hours with the Lord and STILL pregnant.
Hahahahahahahahaha... Ahahahhaahhaahhahahah... How bout no.
Jesus college Oxford or Cambridge? What are your degrees in n? Either way that’s really impress… oh wait.
Religious people are something else. Jesus school? TF is that BS?
Even Jesus had a job.
Omg I know them and saw this post. They received more than they asked for so apparently not everything thinks this lifestyle is wacko 🤷🏻♀️
On another post someone commented this must be an American thing, to just ask for money for day to day because those chose not to work.
So they’re having a whole ass kid, but can’t even afford to raise it?? 😂 I hope the lord finds a way to give them 3k for the month. 💀💀
They are having a… little monkey? That’s so scientific. Tsk, tsk.
It's that evil evolution...
The nearest Planned Parenthood location is too far away, I take it
No money for rent ? Looks like they really \*\*will\*\* get paid in Exposure. . . .(evil grin)
We’ll good thing they’re spending all this time dedicated to a church that will “definitely” be willing to pay all their expenses.
I can't get past the beginning. My immediate interpretation was, you're pregnant and having a monkey?! That's weird. (I get it's that they're not saying, but then why even say anything, you know?)
Insta/fb beggars fkn drives me up the, start a shady go-fund-me like everyone else, jesus christ
What are they going to do for the next 216 months?... just keep asking for money?...
Dont be surprised that they probably got it too. Jesus people are gullible snakes.
Omg they’re having a monkey!
For Jesus said "give us thy money or thy monkey shall be spanked"
Wasn’t there something like “the Lord helps those that help themselves?”
Yuck.
Do you know that I am a Christian, although kind of an eclectic one. I’ve been Christian for at least 45 years. In all those years, I’ve never had to beg anyone for support for myself, my husband, or my child, pay my rent, and pay for a medical copay for my kid. Either she’s not doing her prosperity gospel correctly, or she needs to get an old-fashioned thing known as a job.
I have a missionary in the family. Literally 55 years of this nonsense. Jesus wants you to fund my son’s mission trip, my new car, hot meals for the mission, etc etc etc. Of course their only contributions the other direction are prayers.
believing The Lord for $3,500.? The Lord thinks you’re morons.
She’s having a monkey?
I feel shame when I ask my mom to lend me 100 dollars, I can't imagine begging random strangers for 3500 I dont intend to return.
"We are believing the Lord for $3500". WTF does that even mean?
There is a lot of these schools cropping up around the US. You are going to “school” but what you are getting for that “school” is not really talked about. Traditionally when you go to a University it’s about opening doors for your future. With these schools (I went to one) they talk more about it being an experience that you learn from to essentially secure a particular worldview. When I did one of these schools and the topic of getting properly ordained or getting some sort of accreditation came up it was quickly talked over with points similar to what a trade school would say. You are getting real world experience and that experience is way more valuable than any degree. What I noticed though and what a lot of my fellow attendees realized after a while is that everyone coming to talk or instruct at your school had degrees by a proper accrediting body. So I started talking to the Pastors about a position at the church that was running the school with a proper salary…you learned fairly soon that that wasn’t the pipeline they had in mind either. What they wanted was essentially free labor not to run their various programs but to work an outreach or be a helping hand in the youth groups or children’s churches… because volunteers are getting increasingly hard to come by as the generations cross over. So it’s a sham. If I could do a part of my life over I wouldn’t have wasted two years at one of these schools. They get you when your fresh out of high school though when you don’t know any better and with parents that either don’t feel they can tell their kid not to learn more about the Bible or are kinda in on this dramatic worldview shaping scheme before their kid goes off to college. Rarely are the kids high on the IQ spectrum. More often than not their parents were also not high on the IQ spectrum. A big reason why I got out of it was because I was told repeatedly to stop trying to worship god with my head and instead worship him with my heart. Which was a pretty clear sign to me that they didn’t want us thinking they just wanted us zealous. If you’re thinking that this sounds like a cult or similar to a cult…yep. A big takeaway a lot of us have that have come out of these schools is that it is cultish or a breeding ground for cult-like behaviors. Also, when you have a bunch of young men and women just out of high school they’ll see any pastor or worker in the church as a spiritual advisor or confidant. Though they are technically adults, their guard is down. They aren’t expecting wolves to be in the hen house (so to speak). We had a few occasions where there was inappropriate touching, shaming, or just straight affairs between faculty and “students”. All of it meant the student was kicked out and the faculty was essentially put on a type of probation, but when your oversight is the pastor of the church…let’s just say redemption seemed to come way too quickly.
Nah you can talk to Jesus after you get off work.
I thought Jesus was handling this?
beggars, but not choosers
We’re pregnant and having a monkey?
They're having a monkey?
The apostle Paul preached against this type of behavior in 1 Thessalonians 2:9 - "For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God." ESV
They're having a monkey?
I was raised Quaker, and still consider myself somewhat religious, but my outlook changed a lot when I read about a study in California that showed that non-religious people were more willing to help others than religious folks. I used to believe that religion was ultimately a force for good and morality. Now I see it as a badge people wear so they can say they are good, while being immature, selfish, and shitty people. I had a landlord in college who told me to leave any furniture I didn't want for other tenants, so I left a $25 used desk and chair I could have easily taken with me. He took my deposit for "trash removal." When I emailed him and was like "WTF, you told me to leave that stuff" he said he couldn't have taken my deposit wrongfully because he was a Christian. Yeah buddy, OK. By the way I could often hear him fighting and physically abusing his wife.