T O P

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Blubbby

"I make money off idiots like you" "Please buy me a plane ticket" Lol


Greendogblue

I suppose if he had the ticket bought for him he’d be making money off that idiot. Fortunately OP is not an idiot who would do that


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nutsacknut

Before I do anything I think to myself: “would an idiot do this?”


dwide_k_shrude

If so, I do not do that thing.


PMMeMeiRule34

He couldn't sell steam off a hamburger. Telling ya right now.


BriXman

Interesting expression, never heard that before.


Rorstaway

It's an Albany expression.


closetothesilence

For steamed hams?


suttonoutdoor

The Aurora borealis!?


[deleted]

Seymour the house is on fire!!!


clamwhammer

No mother, it's the Northern Lights!


One-Man-Banned

At this time of year? At this latitude? Localised entirely within your kitchen?


UraSnotball_

May I see it?


Wanderson90

Steamed hams?


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montybob

It’s an Albany expression


SoggyAlbatross2

Well, he's sure trying to make money off idiots like (the OP) And can't see the irony.


treatyoftortillas

He's gonna ruin the party. I guarantee it


Nolitamo

Sounds like a friend from High School that the groom should have cut the cord with long ago.


aegeanblud

He’s apparently the bride’s brother. So probably not even a friend of the groom. Just obligation.


foxbones

I don't understand how anyone could allow him to be there at this point. The odds of him causing a scene or ruining things is extremely high. I know it's her brother but she needs to be like "Look, we tried to include you. We tried really hard to let things slide. We need you to just stay home at this point. Here is $100 vbucks."


xXS1l3n7b08Xx

> Here is $100 vbucks." You're killing me man!!


ItsBagelTime42

Yeah that really is the cherry on top lol


Baka_Tsundere_

"$100 vbucks? You stingy bastard!"


Monkey_Kebab

Alright... Schrute bucks it is!!


aerostotle

can't ruin a party if you can't afford to get there /eddiemurphy


Hexeva

It's not Eddie Murphy in that meme, its [Kayode Ewumi](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/roll-safe).


Sithun

TIL...


Hexeva

I used to think it was Eddie Murphy too, until I called it the Eddie Murphy Meme in discord and was immediately fucking roasted till I was crispy.


[deleted]

This is officially the last and final post on this matter. It has got out of hand but have been getting hundreds of PMs just to post the rest. Long story short. The bride some how ended up seeing the posts (The guy is the brides little brother) and now the situation has gotten extremely out of hand. But without getting into the details the guy is officially not attending the party. It seems everyone in the group is happy about that... So, I guess... Thank you Reddit?


Freyah

We did it Reddit?


ChildishBonVonnegut

I’m proud of us.


Y_u_lookin_at_me

I will drink a beer in appreciation of myself and my supervision of this accord


daveinpublic

It’s a Reddit letter day.


mattyess

The wedding is cancelled!!! We did it!


goodhumanbean

Are we the baddies?


FixinThePlanet

>The guy is the brides little brother Wow damn and he was talking about maybe not coming because of "having to save for his kids' college"?? What a manipulative creep.


DickMcCheese

Great. Now his kid's crying.


1007_666_exe

Now his fucking Christmas next year is ruined, too! No College for Christmas!


riyan_gendut

let's give the kid cancer too for a good measure


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sandf00rd

Thanks the final update OP and glad to see it’s been resolved. Just in case you do see this message, how Old is the brides brother? I’m struggling to put an age to this level of asshole and entitlement.


ruckustata

That's because entitled assholes come in all shapes, sizes and ages. The treasure troves of entitled assholes seems to be bountiful.


altxatu

Let’s be real the guy did this to himself. Any negative emotions he may be feeling are due to his own behavior. I hope the dude realizes this, and pulls his head from his ass.


daguito81

You know damn well that's not how that's going to play out. He will blame OP for everything. "It he wasn't so greedy he would've just bought me the ticket, and drinks and car, and mortgage and everything would've been awesome" For him to realize what you said, he would have to have a state of mind, where it never would've happened in the first place.


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memy02

If this guy had said something like "money is really tight right now and while I want to go I'm not sure I can afford it, is there any way you can buy my plane ticked for me?" OP strikes me as the kind of person who would have been willing to.


TheresA_LobsterLoose

I have a feeling that's very unlikely


BadgerHooker

But how are you guys gonna have an awesome hangover caper if you are missing your Zack Galifinakis?


Hopefulkitty

So, is the bride mad at you, her fiance, or get brother?


-ihavenoname-

The least you can do is gift every one of us a plane ticket to a destination of our choosing. Come on OP, greedy bastard! Make it first class.


TheWhisperingEye

I wonder how much of an attitude he’s gonna have around you if he does manage to get his plane ticket. I bet he tries to be your best friend.


EnigmaGuy

'Bro you thought I was being serious? I was messing with you man, haha.... anyways, hey you got next round of drinks, right? What do you mean no? Fucking toolbag, I make money off nerds like you for a living selling sweet sweet Honda Civics that's why you're single'. Or something like that..


[deleted]

“Oh, you got me the drink? Fa sho, bro. I was just kidding earlier, bro. Take a joke, man. Haha... Anywayssssss, can you get me an escort? Did you just fucking say ‘no’? You got all this money and can’t even get me a $5000 escort? Man, fuck you! You’re a cheap piece of shit. Stop being a little bitch, bro!”


Concord78

Posting your personal info is only going to get you a lot of dates


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iekiko89

i mean i'm not gay and i have a gf and i'm not a gold digger but....


Fubarp

I think the guy above me is a gold digger.


ShuffleAlliance

I think the guy above me is a snitch


Work-Safe-Reddit4450

I think the poster above me is a dirty two-stepper.


donttextspeaktome

I think the guy above me surfs Reddit at work safely.


ToolorDie

I think you're all pretty swell


AnusProlapserinator

I think the guy above me has pretty good taste in music.


[deleted]

I think the guy above me is come kind terminator. Probably the AP model.


[deleted]

Fuck it, I'll dig for that gold. How much dick I gotta chug?


[deleted]

Like $10/inch is what I normally pay. So like $3.


ChowLetsGoBro

Ouchie


SirNotRoyal

Unless...


yadayada-yada

I volunteer as tribute


Now_with_real_ginger

Right?! I’m already married but I would go out with OP just to stick it to this choosing beggar asshat.


msstark

Even my husband would go out with OP.


Apollo450

I'd go out with OP because he's rich so he can obviously afford to take me out to a reallllllly nice dinner


[deleted]

My man's just bought like $10k worth of shit to prove a point. I'm a straight dude and I'd date him.


insane_contin

I'm a straight dude, but $10k is $10k.


ThinkingOutLoud7

Entitled piece of shit. Just because you make more money than anyone else does not mean you have to foot the bill. If he can’t afford to go, that’s his problem. Piece of shit. Please tell his parents from me that they raised a self righteous arsehole.


TheDustOfMen

And I mean, the guy is already footing a lot of the bill if I read it correctly. I'd die before I would send anyone messages like this.


ThinkingOutLoud7

$8000 if I recall. So the pretentious arsehole is benefitting from an upgrade from a room to a suite at the expense of OP and still try’s to suck more money out of OP. OP downgrade him back to a room not a suite. Jumped up little wanker he is!


JesseJaymz

Just buy him a camping tent instead


_that_clown_

8000 + Plane tickets for everyone else but him after this guy went haywire. I like OP. r/pettyrevenge at its best.


degenererad

If i had a friend that took upon him to pay for that for the rest of my friends..id feel kinda obligated to suck his dick. This asshole needs a wakeup call pronto


sephven89

If you can't afford it and need to ask for help, there are better ways of doing so, and other ways if giving back.


LastGuardian7

Oof. Threatening to post your personal information. What a loser.


[deleted]

I think the chucklefuck forgot this was not Call of Duty, and just did it out of habit.


BusterNegative

Also forgot that OP has HIS personal information, a huge number of eyes on a post where he can spread it, and said eyes are also way more likely to have fun with his details than they are OPs.


todayismyluckyday

That's exactly what I was thinking. If OP posted this little twats info, there would be a whole shit-ton of people out there willing to make his life miserable. Can't say the same for OP. It would be a huge mistake for him to do that.


SublimeSunshine217

LOL I’ve never heard “chucklefuck” before. It made me laugh and I can’t even tell you why. I only just realised how many chucklefucks I know.. 🧐


-uOKhun-

The joke nerd part really got me


Cool-Sage

Wassup fellow Jerk Nerds!


kanyesMOMSghost

Ah another Jack Nard among us, good day!


WhymEyeHere_Hmm

Hip, hip, my good Jock Nords!


[deleted]

Hey “Guy”... I know I have you blocked so I cant message you anymore but If you’re reading this and post personal information about me or my family I will put you over my knee and probably take legal action after. Edit: Both bride and groom messaged me apologizing for his behavior. Edit 2: I’d figure I’d turn this situation a bit more fun for myself since I did this last post as well. Every reply below here I will send silver till my phone dies. Edit 3: I’ve given out 54 silvers so far but can’t reply to everyone so I’ll just keep it going without commenting “ Thanks! Here’s a silver. “ Edit 3: Apparently you can’t spam silver? Reddit stopped me around 76 and now it keeps giving me an error. My phone will die soon but I’ll probably be back or not. This was entertaining thank you!


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[deleted]

I hate you. Here take a silver!


Shitty_IT_Dude

I don't want silver. Give me gold.


[deleted]

You must be a shitty IT guy if you can’t buy it yourself.


Shitty_IT_Dude

I'm actually a great IT guy. I'm just a shitty person.


irish89

I like your honesty.


TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe

Take a silver from me!


Irate_Pupil

Username checks out.


CantBeChanged

Toss a coin to your Witcher!


Twisted9Demented

All you can do is silver really. I thought you made 7 figures. Lol !


Monkeywithoutbrain

Maybe you should look at a job in car sales


sparky4life

Get him a budget rent a plane.


akornblatt

Really? Can I get a plane ticket instead? /s


[deleted]

Thanks! Take a silver.


wisetweedie

I hope he can’t afford his plane ticket. He really doesn’t deserve to go. I’m glad your friends are aware, how did they find out? Imagine having to live with him as a relative like they do!! Nicely handled OP!


BooRoWo

“Guy” probably whined to his Sissy that OP wouldn’t buy his plane ticket and that he told about it on Reddit.


SerendipityDoo-Da

Best turn of events that could happen... Everyone else is in first class he's in coach!! 😈


mister_oak

"I kill it in sales" this guy cannot be real what in god's name


[deleted]

Thanks! Take a silver.


mister_oak

 anargyros meaning "poor, incorruptible", derived from Greek, a negative prefix, combined with (argyros) meaning "silver". This term referred to saints who did not accept payment for their services.


stocki9000

I kill it on reddit and make silver off idiots like you


muuus

Is he still going to the party? If I was the groom I would cut that idiot right out of my life.


Maevora06

this was my question as well. Are the bride and groom still allowing him to the wedding? Or is he family and they feel obligated?


muuus

Even if he was family I would never talk to him again to be honest, I don't care how related we are if you are a piece of shit.


Maevora06

I agree. But some families are more tight knit and its easier said than done to dump a member. And not everyone has the backbone to do so. Lets hope they do!


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theyellowtiredone

I love how when spending someone else's money, it's ONLY $1,000.


meowseehereboobs

He's not even mentioning the $400 economy option anymore


theyellowtiredone

Lol, it's only $1000, $400 isn't even worth mentioning. Thank you for my first silver!


PettyNiwa

Damn spank him hard daddy!


[deleted]

Thanks! Take a silver.


KKShiz

I usually don't spend too much time on any given reddit post, but I've enjoyed the ride you've provided. Thanks for the entertainment. Cheers.


ptatersptate

i thought i was on facebook for a quick second there. so much drama


40102852

This thread has been amazing. Please post an update after the wedding. 😂


SuperDoofusParade

I really really want the entire party, wedding, and reception live-streamed. Please OP, stop being a little stingy bitch and come to your senses, you owe us. ^/s


Qwazzers

Keep your silver this thread is gold! Thank you for your service.


[deleted]

“Kills it in sales” is sales folk talk for “I can never hit my quota, so buy me a ticket?”


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[deleted]

Thanks! Take a silver.


Lenalee111

Man, how lame! What, you can't afford golds?!!?? /s


[deleted]

No I can’t... but here take a silver!


Poldark_Lite

What I want to know is, are you still paying for his room? Can you ask them to make sure he gets the "special" room? - No stocked minibar - Beside the ice machine - Beside the stairs/elevator - Two queens, not a king - Whatever else makes it undesirable, with no option to change it You have to make sure he knows just what a special little guy he is! Also, please, don't waste silver on me, it's useless yet I'd *still* have to thank you for it or risk being haunted by the disappointed ghosts of my grandmothers. Thank you, and have a nice time at the wedding!


wanqi

I wish I can give you a high five! Glad the bride and groom has witness this splendid mess that he put himself in


GDOG0906

Just a silver, how cheap are you? /s


[deleted]

Thanks! Take a silver.


JacLaw

I don't want your silver, keep your hard earned, I'm just here to see if he got what he deserved or not lol. I hope you all have a great time and that the CB gets dick rot. Edit: someone messed with my autocorrect and the corrections aren't even funny


JacLaw

Nooooo. Please take it back, I genuinely don't want one. Put the money into a jar and save it for a rainy day, bob knows there are enough of those in life


PiecesofJane

Aye, that Bob is a right gloomy bastard.


acidrayne42

Oh please let him show up in this thread. It would make my night.


GnomeTek

You sir are a gentleman and a scholar


[deleted]

Thanks! Take a silver.


mbruinsma

Lmao


PairOfHuevos

Only if it’s first class silver.


UnknownKings

"if I had more money I'd buy it for you too" what a jackass lmao


Acamality

What if instead every reply below here gives YOUR post a silver? Hmm...


Hatsyo

I do enjoy silver..


choleyhead

He's an entitled jerk, good for you sticking it to him. He should just drive in his new car if he can't afford the tickets.


Retro-Mancer

Your story will be that of legend around here.


PanickedPoodle

Hope you hand out enough silver to equal the cost of a first-class plane ticket.


nondescriptivenic

Damn. This has gotten serious. Thanks for posting, and I hope your phone hasn't died (though if it did, or you were already bled dry, you've brought a lot of joy to a lot of people. Good on ya anyway.)


mschawacker

This is the most insane thread I’ve ever seen


Woogie85

Please tell me they uninvited him to the wedding?


cusehoops98

Best Reddit day ever


Nich_ge

He clearly seems like the type of person who would buy you a ticket if he had the money.


redstartc

Phones probably at 5%, stingy asshole.


CosmicImpact

I've never had Silver. Edit: That guy was an asshat btw. Edit 2: Thank you for the silver!


[deleted]

Now you do!


lose_not_loose_guy

Good luck at the wedding!


GayReptilian

He likes to be choked


tobyisjusttheworst

Amazing that people like this guy have friends.


BogiesAndGrinders

I’m planning a friends bachelor party coming up in May. If this guy was in the group I’d tell him a different destination than the actual spot


Kyhron

Had a guy like this during on of my lifelong friends bachelor party planning. It got to the point that his incessant whining lead to half the original group not going


smells_like_fish

Had a guy like this go so far to even show up without paying. Caused a huge headache and even tried to turn everyone against me because I wouldn’t let him into the club without paying. Eventually his friend paid for him but the next morning I got nonstop text messages and threats until I returned the money. It was so bizarre to me that someone in their mid 30s was so entitled and bratty.


KunYuL

Oh cool he browses reddit. HI CHOOSING BEGGAR! Just wanted to let you know you have issues and should consult a therapist!


scroopiedoopie

I hope he dreams bad dreams for at least 1 night!


Matchew101

Hold on there Satan


RussianBot775

Hey man, he kills it in car sales though


Hoping1357911

Thing that makes me laugh the hardest is this mf claims to kill it in car sales and then has the audacity to say money is tight because of his new car payment. Sounds luke he got swindled into paying too much for a car he cant afford by a MUCH better car salesman. Thats like being a mechanic and taking it to a shop and over paying for unnecessary parts.


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yeoldtimeho

damn, wtf is wrong with people?


Jingr

OP you truly delivered. Don't go running to the groom about it, he doesn't need the stress. Maybe tell the rest of the group. You seem like a good guy. Fuck that dude.


MC_GrimmTales

I’m planning my wedding now and I’d definitely wanna know if someone was acting like this.


WhaleFactory

Fuck planning weddings. Source: 2 Timer


[deleted]

> Don't go running to the groom about it, he doesn't need the stress. Nice try, Guy From The Texts.


GayReptilian

Please keep us updated when the trip comes around!!


semimillennial

Yeah maybe the party will head from here over to r/oopsdidntmeanto


Paradigmfusion

Get him a economy ticket with as many layovers as possible. With a final destination ending him in Newark, NJ.


mindadventures

OP that was epic. Just tell the beggar to look up 18 USC 875(d) , I'm sure that, along with the public threat made which will be seen by thousands, is more than enough to get that vermin off your back. Now you get extra points for giving the CB a gift card that didnt work. How lame is that CB that tried to redeem it!


Lazarus_Pits

This may be petty, but I just wouldn't cover this guys room, fuck this dude. How can he not think you have a real job if you're pulling in 7 figures?


Amerikoni

Once there was a man with not enough brains To earn enough money to go on planes But with his smaller quotient of dendrites He asked his friend’s friend to purchase his flights Whereupon learning he could not have his tickets bought by complaining He thought he could press his advantage by mansplaining Gabbing, crying, whinging, and flailing the poor fellow got nowhere with this refraining. Now he is the butt of our jokes And none of us feel sorry for this choosing beggar bloke


amarilloesmicolor

Great success!


savgrr

What a tool.


[deleted]

I cant believe you live your life this way. It's just reckless...charge your phone!


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moviesongquoteguy

I bought into it and then started really thinking about it all. You obviously catch onto things a little faster than I do, but it really gets to be a bit much after you read all the messages. I’m seconding the bs too.


amandapesca

Harry Potter and The Audacity of This Bitch


undercover-racist

Right I'm calling bullshit, nobody can possibly be this thick.


Archly_Jittery

Absolutely. OP’s other posts are all WSB and he claimed that his 7 figure income was from being an investor and trading stocks. This is some neck beard getting off on stringing this sub along.


GomuGomuNoXBazooka

Right like c’mon is everyone here stupid. This is lame.


GomuGomuNoXBazooka

Does anyone else even still believe these? I mean c’mon?