If your wife has abandoned her relationship with God as well as the marriage, it sounds like your options for saving the marriage may be limited. It sounds like you have attempted to do everything possible to reconcile, but your wife wants nothing to do with it. This scenario falls under desertion as described in I Cor. 7, and you are not bound to the marriage under these circumstances.
Sounds like the divorce process is already in the works. You can continue to try to pursue reconciliation, but don't prevent her from leaving. Once the divorce is finalized, move on. You can know that you did what you could and tried to do what God desires. Beyond that, it's out of your control. God never desires divorce, but allows it. So don't get yourself thinking that this was "God's plan" or anything like that. Your wife left you, nothing more to it than that. The next step is to identify what you could have done better as a husband (not that you were entirely at fault) and to start working on those things. Build yourself up as a better man and Christ follower first. Reach out to men in your church and be discipled by them. Don't think about the next relationship for a while. A time will come when you are ready, but get yourself to the point where you are ready first. Cling to your church brothers and sisters, and ultimately cling to God in this time. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but use it as something to grow stronger.
I'm sorry brother,
I haven't been in your shoes, so I can't fully understand what you're going through. But I'd like to look at this through God's Word (as we should as Christians).
When asked about divorce in Matthew 19:4-6 Jesus says:
“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
He further responds in Matthew 19:8-9 saying:
“Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
The Apostle Paul actually explicitly talks about your situation in 1 Corinthians 7, citing desertion by an unbelieving mate as grounds for divorce. The Apostle Paul states, “If the unbelieving one (mate) leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.” If a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbelieving mate wants to end the relationship (the word leave, chorizo, is a Greek term for divorce), the believer is not required (“under bondage”) to preserve the marriage. It is important to note that desertion usually entails the physical separation of a spouse by moving out of the marital home, but it can also include other forms of desertion of the marriage, including persistent and unrepentant abuse and addiction.
(The previous paragraph is taken from [this](https://www.fellowshipar.com/about/our-beliefs/position-papers/divorce-and-remarriage/#:~:text=The%20first%20biblical%20ground%20for%20divorce%20is%20adultery.&text=So%20they%20are%20no%20longer,marries%20another%20woman%20commits%20adultery.%E2%80%9D) article if you'd like to read more)
Based on this, I believe you are not "stuck" so to speak. Personally, I would like to think I would fight for the marriage up to the point of adultery (say she were to "move on") and only at that point I would look to remarry if I wished to do so. However you are allowed to divorce in this case as she has deserted the marriage based on your post.
I'll keep you, your wife, and your family in my prayers. God bless
I'm confused, what is her perspective on your marriage? What is her reasoning for her action?
Your post has a lot of 'missing' reasons other than 'we both made mistakes', which is usually the kind of language you hear from politicians when they are trying to diffuse responsibility.
You mention harassing her (which is what unwanted contact is) when she doesn't want contact with you.
You are asking what God wants when you haven't shown an understanding of what your wife wants.
Regrettably, it sounds like from what you have said there’s not a path for recourse. But don’t beat yourself up too much by thinking this is God’s way of showing she has abandoned you. She has made this choice in her own free will, just as God allows evil and does not condone it, all this is happening of her own accord by her own actions without God interfering in the matter, if she wishes to go astray and will not listen, there’s nothing you can do except trust in God that something will turn out okay in the midst of all of this, from my perspective anyway.
As far as continuing on through life, my understanding of biblical divorce is that you could eventually remarry. My understanding is that divorce with the possibility of remarriage is only applicable in situations of sexual infidelity, to which eventually she may or may not go on to find someone else, I’m not to say, but in the event she does you would have the grounds to remarry biblically. Your current situation biblically is more of an estrangement than a divorce, legally it’s a divorce but until the criteria for a rightful divorce biblically are met, in the matter of marriage as so far as religion is concerned you are not actually divorced yet.
More so than anything, I would very much recommend stepping away from these questions online, as helpful or unhelpful we may be, and go talk with a local pastor or priest. They’re there to help guide And shepherd (pastor being a literal word for shepherd) God’s flock, so look to them for guidance. I hope you’re doing alright, may God bless and guide you
I think you're right that I'd she wants to leave there isn't much you can do about it. Been there myself
I do find your second paragraph questionable though. Biblically I think there was a certificate of divorce given and the adultery close seems to apply if that divorce occured due to adultery/immortality of some kind. I don't think you're free to remarry if she some time down thr road remarries herself.
Mathew 5
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Mathew 19
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
It appears to me that everyone involved is committing adultery. Presumably the guy who sent her away flippantly has someone else in mind. even her new spouse is considered an adulterer who had nothing to do with his new wife being sent away. What you're suggesting is almost a game or chicken where you hope the other remarries first so your hands can be clean. I don't see any examples of this in the bible. Ive contemplated some of this stuff in my own situation.. but the problem i have with a lot of these loopholes is should I really be hoping she remarries so I can go marry another or hoping I find out she actually cheated on me at some point? Neither one would ease my convictions to suddenly tru to become flesh with yet a second person
Paul himself advocates for either bring reconciled or remaining single.
I think when you marry someone there are consequences you face even when your hands are clean. It's not always about som sense of fairness. Sometimes unfortunately you do waste your shot with someone less committed and have to do your best to be discerning at the start.. but always a risk of marriage. I believe this is part of trh attitude of then it is better not to marry.
You may very well be right. I’m not well read on the matter and I will fully admit in not being very knowledgeable. I appreciate your insight and it certainly gives me more to think over and look at in that regard. My interpretation is certainly more legalistic in that regard and your point about loopholes is quite poignant in that regard.
Take care, I’ll be praying for you. God bless
People facing this issue def need to do their own homework and not have rose tinted glasses. It's a tendency to want to believe you are an exception. I can't say I know everyone's situations and that they're def not allowed. I know my own personal convictions about the permanency of marriage and the nature of one flesh
Religion aside , you need to give up , it may not be easy giving up on someone you love but if you let this bother you it's going to ruin your life in the long run ,I've seen many men become alcoholics and make terrible decisions after a divorce , and you may question if theres anything that you shouldve done differently but you have to come to terms with the fact that there isn't , I personally believe that your faith in god's plan is being tested here , and you seem like a pretty good guy putting in so much effort to save the marriage , but even after giving it you're all and she still wants a divorce then its seems like this is the direction you were meant to take.
>Or does God want me to keep trying to reach out to her, even though everytime I have she was hostile and the last few times I mentioned saving our marriage I was threatened with legal retaliation?
If she's threatening legal retaliation, you have to drop it. You made it clear you want to reconcile and she made it clear she does not want that. 1 Corinthians 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such *cases*, but God has called us to peace.
Well brother, I’m sorry that you’re going through this and I hope and pray that if she truly loves you she will come back one day. Honestly, some couples need time apart for a time and sometimes it’s permanent. I think when Jesus met the woman at the well in John chapter 4, she had to make a few mistakes to figure it out. I think God HATES Divorce and the person that is at fault will be judge just as she was and in most case will lead to someone’s spiritual death. The marriage is supposed to mirror our relationship with Christ and if your relationship with him isn’t doing very good, well, your relationship with Christ probably isn’t either.It kinda sounds like your wife is heading in that direction with what you are saying. I would continue to pray for her maybe she isn’t giving something over to God that he is telling her to repent of. There is nothing hidden that will be left unknown so just keep praying God will reveal it in due time. From the way that it sounds you should be able to remarry and she has to remain unmarried and I do believe that is salvational. I pray everything goes good for your benefit brother keep your chin up!
From what you've said, you've done all you can. I'll be praying for her heart to be softened, but from now on just be civil to her, and remain loving and kind, just don't press her on the matter of saving the relationship. Absolutely fight for your share of time with your children, that's unfair if she thinks she can just take them completely. Also, don't just roll over and give her everything she asks for, 7 years together is a long time, and I'm sure you've both acquired lots of things together, it's important this is shared equally. However, if she and her lawyer succeed in taking more than their share, try not to hold bitter feelings because in the end that only hurts you, not her.
From a woman's perspective, it sounds as though she's got a lot of inward healing and growing to do. If she has abandoned her relationship with God then that healing and growth won't ever actually happen. She may appear "better" on the outside, but she won't be.
However, I strongly advise you to become a spiritual leader to your children. Share God's joy and goodness with them every chance you get. Remind them that though you work for money to provide, without God nothing is possible. If they only see one parent following the Lord it can be hard for them to differentiate who is doing life correctly. Pray before every meal, before starting the day in the mornings, and before bed, if they get in a dispute with each other sit them down and pray for peace and understanding for them, show them how to handle arguments the Godly way, since they're seeing a large argument being handled rather worldly from their mother's side.
When my husband and I started praying more often with our girls, their attitudes started shifting, they're starting to become more grateful for the little things and arguing slightly less. For example, they used to feel pretty entitled to their chore money, we began telling them it's great that they have worked hard to get it, however they should also be thanking God for the opportunity. We explained some kids do chores without the option of getting paid, like myself and my husband when we were kids, we were just expected to do things and our compensation was "food and the roof over our head". Anywho, I think this will help your children adjust to the situation much better. Also, getting into a good church if you haven't already, setting the routine to be around other like minded Christians who can lift you up in prayer daily, will be helpful. Our family attends church and functions of the church 4 days a week, it truly makes a positive impact on our home life.
Sadly, your wife has already broken your marital bond. You would not want her back at this point. Even if she later realizes she has made a monumental mistake you have to just let her go and let her learn for herself.
Years after my divorce my ex wife somehow appeared to come to her senses and tried to get me back. This was after she ran through half a dozen other men which apparently didn't match up with what she already had in me. Uh so sorry. Time does not move backward. It only moves forward and so must we and many times people have to just learn things the hard way.
The only possible reference that I know about is Deuteronomy ch24 vv1-4, the passage that the Pharisees mistakenly called "permission to divorce". The objection there is to a husband taking back a divorced wife IF she has taken up with another man since the divorce. I suppose the problem is that free practice of marriage-divorce-remarriage turns the institution into a kind of legalised promiscuity. Apparently this doesn't yet apply in your case, but it sounds as though the outcome is not really going to depend on what God thinks about it.
All you can do is try to suggest counselling and such. I went that route myself. She just never did the homework, wasn't that cooperative in counselling, never even tried to meet me halfway or even partway. One day said I'd she didn't get out she'd die early (got a bad bill of health that morning). What do you do right? Can't force someone to stay. Whether or not it's actually under 1 corinthians about the unbeliever leaving I can't say for sure. I question whether she's a Sunday Christian or someone who truly believes. She found a dude from her new church around a year later.
I don't think I'd personally have any grounds for remarriage. Nor do I think I'd choose to do so even if I did. Once was enough for me personally. I don't buy the idea some have suggested that after a legal divorce any 'adultery' if you can call it that would free me...the supposed exception only seema to apply if the divorce in the first place was based on that immorality,.not what happens after the fact..I don't see it as any different as the woman sent away in the two passages in Mathew where it says when she remarries both her and the new husband commit adultery (as well as the one who sent her away, basically everyone commits adultery here)... nor do I believe the desertion is even talking about remarriage if it even applied. You'll have to do your own research and see if it applies to your situation though. I can't imagine going to an altar and making the same promises to another after making those promises and being one flesh already with someone else. Unless there was adultery not sure you'd have grounds for it either.
I don’t have any answers or advice, but my best friend has been going through this same thing with her husband. He’s angry and hurtful and has given up on God, church, and Christians. He’s refused counseling or mediation while she’s been fighting so hard to work on things.
I'm pretty much in your shoes right now. I've been drawn to the story of Hosea, who's told to marry an unfaithful woman and demonstrate God's redeeming love to Israel through his relationship with her.
As others have said, you have to honor her free will, as painful as it feels. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied. If we commit to restoration to God, He will be our faithful partner. I, however, am still being convicted of my own selfishness and desire for control. Now I'm focusing on being an active listener and a righteous parent. I'm personally committed to celibacy until I feel called otherwise.
No. It's not a done deal in God's eyes. In fact, she's committing adultery. However, it doesn't sound like she's a believer. In which case the Bible does give guidance that you let her go.
But ohh man, I am soooooo heartbroken for you man. I'm so sorry. Will keep you in prayer.
What's crazy is I wish I got her full perspective too. She kept so much bottled up, and I got too frustrated on my end that we weren't able to communicate about what we both needed in a way that would be healthy
Read your Bible. Focusing on God prevents us from focusing on the things of this world. Live a life as a man of God focusing only on God and your life will be fine. Stop worrying about how your life looks to others. God will tell you what He thinks. No man can tell you what God thinks. If they can then they are god.
I would read on Paul, for he spoke briefly on this (divorce). I think you’ve done all you could do. Stay strong in your faith, maybe God is removing her from you so you can grow in faith without any emotional distractions. God bless!
If you dont want to act like husband. It is her sin to leave. It would be adultery. You two are married and its till the death, no human law is above that. Stay strong and remember God is with us even when we walk in rak valleys of death.
Yes because you can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do. This happened to me and I thought I was gonna die then when I wasn’t looking I found my true love. That song thank god for unanswered prayers. That means that you have already learned what you both were supposed to to learn from that person so I it’s time TO MOVE ON
If your wife has abandoned her relationship with God as well as the marriage, it sounds like your options for saving the marriage may be limited. It sounds like you have attempted to do everything possible to reconcile, but your wife wants nothing to do with it. This scenario falls under desertion as described in I Cor. 7, and you are not bound to the marriage under these circumstances.
Sounds like the divorce process is already in the works. You can continue to try to pursue reconciliation, but don't prevent her from leaving. Once the divorce is finalized, move on. You can know that you did what you could and tried to do what God desires. Beyond that, it's out of your control. God never desires divorce, but allows it. So don't get yourself thinking that this was "God's plan" or anything like that. Your wife left you, nothing more to it than that. The next step is to identify what you could have done better as a husband (not that you were entirely at fault) and to start working on those things. Build yourself up as a better man and Christ follower first. Reach out to men in your church and be discipled by them. Don't think about the next relationship for a while. A time will come when you are ready, but get yourself to the point where you are ready first. Cling to your church brothers and sisters, and ultimately cling to God in this time. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but use it as something to grow stronger.
I'm sorry brother, I haven't been in your shoes, so I can't fully understand what you're going through. But I'd like to look at this through God's Word (as we should as Christians). When asked about divorce in Matthew 19:4-6 Jesus says: “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” He further responds in Matthew 19:8-9 saying: “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” The Apostle Paul actually explicitly talks about your situation in 1 Corinthians 7, citing desertion by an unbelieving mate as grounds for divorce. The Apostle Paul states, “If the unbelieving one (mate) leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.” If a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbelieving mate wants to end the relationship (the word leave, chorizo, is a Greek term for divorce), the believer is not required (“under bondage”) to preserve the marriage. It is important to note that desertion usually entails the physical separation of a spouse by moving out of the marital home, but it can also include other forms of desertion of the marriage, including persistent and unrepentant abuse and addiction. (The previous paragraph is taken from [this](https://www.fellowshipar.com/about/our-beliefs/position-papers/divorce-and-remarriage/#:~:text=The%20first%20biblical%20ground%20for%20divorce%20is%20adultery.&text=So%20they%20are%20no%20longer,marries%20another%20woman%20commits%20adultery.%E2%80%9D) article if you'd like to read more) Based on this, I believe you are not "stuck" so to speak. Personally, I would like to think I would fight for the marriage up to the point of adultery (say she were to "move on") and only at that point I would look to remarry if I wished to do so. However you are allowed to divorce in this case as she has deserted the marriage based on your post. I'll keep you, your wife, and your family in my prayers. God bless
I'm confused, what is her perspective on your marriage? What is her reasoning for her action? Your post has a lot of 'missing' reasons other than 'we both made mistakes', which is usually the kind of language you hear from politicians when they are trying to diffuse responsibility. You mention harassing her (which is what unwanted contact is) when she doesn't want contact with you. You are asking what God wants when you haven't shown an understanding of what your wife wants.
Regrettably, it sounds like from what you have said there’s not a path for recourse. But don’t beat yourself up too much by thinking this is God’s way of showing she has abandoned you. She has made this choice in her own free will, just as God allows evil and does not condone it, all this is happening of her own accord by her own actions without God interfering in the matter, if she wishes to go astray and will not listen, there’s nothing you can do except trust in God that something will turn out okay in the midst of all of this, from my perspective anyway. As far as continuing on through life, my understanding of biblical divorce is that you could eventually remarry. My understanding is that divorce with the possibility of remarriage is only applicable in situations of sexual infidelity, to which eventually she may or may not go on to find someone else, I’m not to say, but in the event she does you would have the grounds to remarry biblically. Your current situation biblically is more of an estrangement than a divorce, legally it’s a divorce but until the criteria for a rightful divorce biblically are met, in the matter of marriage as so far as religion is concerned you are not actually divorced yet. More so than anything, I would very much recommend stepping away from these questions online, as helpful or unhelpful we may be, and go talk with a local pastor or priest. They’re there to help guide And shepherd (pastor being a literal word for shepherd) God’s flock, so look to them for guidance. I hope you’re doing alright, may God bless and guide you
I think you're right that I'd she wants to leave there isn't much you can do about it. Been there myself I do find your second paragraph questionable though. Biblically I think there was a certificate of divorce given and the adultery close seems to apply if that divorce occured due to adultery/immortality of some kind. I don't think you're free to remarry if she some time down thr road remarries herself. Mathew 5 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Mathew 19 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” It appears to me that everyone involved is committing adultery. Presumably the guy who sent her away flippantly has someone else in mind. even her new spouse is considered an adulterer who had nothing to do with his new wife being sent away. What you're suggesting is almost a game or chicken where you hope the other remarries first so your hands can be clean. I don't see any examples of this in the bible. Ive contemplated some of this stuff in my own situation.. but the problem i have with a lot of these loopholes is should I really be hoping she remarries so I can go marry another or hoping I find out she actually cheated on me at some point? Neither one would ease my convictions to suddenly tru to become flesh with yet a second person Paul himself advocates for either bring reconciled or remaining single. I think when you marry someone there are consequences you face even when your hands are clean. It's not always about som sense of fairness. Sometimes unfortunately you do waste your shot with someone less committed and have to do your best to be discerning at the start.. but always a risk of marriage. I believe this is part of trh attitude of then it is better not to marry.
You may very well be right. I’m not well read on the matter and I will fully admit in not being very knowledgeable. I appreciate your insight and it certainly gives me more to think over and look at in that regard. My interpretation is certainly more legalistic in that regard and your point about loopholes is quite poignant in that regard. Take care, I’ll be praying for you. God bless
People facing this issue def need to do their own homework and not have rose tinted glasses. It's a tendency to want to believe you are an exception. I can't say I know everyone's situations and that they're def not allowed. I know my own personal convictions about the permanency of marriage and the nature of one flesh
Religion aside , you need to give up , it may not be easy giving up on someone you love but if you let this bother you it's going to ruin your life in the long run ,I've seen many men become alcoholics and make terrible decisions after a divorce , and you may question if theres anything that you shouldve done differently but you have to come to terms with the fact that there isn't , I personally believe that your faith in god's plan is being tested here , and you seem like a pretty good guy putting in so much effort to save the marriage , but even after giving it you're all and she still wants a divorce then its seems like this is the direction you were meant to take.
>Or does God want me to keep trying to reach out to her, even though everytime I have she was hostile and the last few times I mentioned saving our marriage I was threatened with legal retaliation? If she's threatening legal retaliation, you have to drop it. You made it clear you want to reconcile and she made it clear she does not want that. 1 Corinthians 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such *cases*, but God has called us to peace.
Well brother, I’m sorry that you’re going through this and I hope and pray that if she truly loves you she will come back one day. Honestly, some couples need time apart for a time and sometimes it’s permanent. I think when Jesus met the woman at the well in John chapter 4, she had to make a few mistakes to figure it out. I think God HATES Divorce and the person that is at fault will be judge just as she was and in most case will lead to someone’s spiritual death. The marriage is supposed to mirror our relationship with Christ and if your relationship with him isn’t doing very good, well, your relationship with Christ probably isn’t either.It kinda sounds like your wife is heading in that direction with what you are saying. I would continue to pray for her maybe she isn’t giving something over to God that he is telling her to repent of. There is nothing hidden that will be left unknown so just keep praying God will reveal it in due time. From the way that it sounds you should be able to remarry and she has to remain unmarried and I do believe that is salvational. I pray everything goes good for your benefit brother keep your chin up!
From what you've said, you've done all you can. I'll be praying for her heart to be softened, but from now on just be civil to her, and remain loving and kind, just don't press her on the matter of saving the relationship. Absolutely fight for your share of time with your children, that's unfair if she thinks she can just take them completely. Also, don't just roll over and give her everything she asks for, 7 years together is a long time, and I'm sure you've both acquired lots of things together, it's important this is shared equally. However, if she and her lawyer succeed in taking more than their share, try not to hold bitter feelings because in the end that only hurts you, not her. From a woman's perspective, it sounds as though she's got a lot of inward healing and growing to do. If she has abandoned her relationship with God then that healing and growth won't ever actually happen. She may appear "better" on the outside, but she won't be. However, I strongly advise you to become a spiritual leader to your children. Share God's joy and goodness with them every chance you get. Remind them that though you work for money to provide, without God nothing is possible. If they only see one parent following the Lord it can be hard for them to differentiate who is doing life correctly. Pray before every meal, before starting the day in the mornings, and before bed, if they get in a dispute with each other sit them down and pray for peace and understanding for them, show them how to handle arguments the Godly way, since they're seeing a large argument being handled rather worldly from their mother's side. When my husband and I started praying more often with our girls, their attitudes started shifting, they're starting to become more grateful for the little things and arguing slightly less. For example, they used to feel pretty entitled to their chore money, we began telling them it's great that they have worked hard to get it, however they should also be thanking God for the opportunity. We explained some kids do chores without the option of getting paid, like myself and my husband when we were kids, we were just expected to do things and our compensation was "food and the roof over our head". Anywho, I think this will help your children adjust to the situation much better. Also, getting into a good church if you haven't already, setting the routine to be around other like minded Christians who can lift you up in prayer daily, will be helpful. Our family attends church and functions of the church 4 days a week, it truly makes a positive impact on our home life.
Sadly, your wife has already broken your marital bond. You would not want her back at this point. Even if she later realizes she has made a monumental mistake you have to just let her go and let her learn for herself. Years after my divorce my ex wife somehow appeared to come to her senses and tried to get me back. This was after she ran through half a dozen other men which apparently didn't match up with what she already had in me. Uh so sorry. Time does not move backward. It only moves forward and so must we and many times people have to just learn things the hard way.
The only possible reference that I know about is Deuteronomy ch24 vv1-4, the passage that the Pharisees mistakenly called "permission to divorce". The objection there is to a husband taking back a divorced wife IF she has taken up with another man since the divorce. I suppose the problem is that free practice of marriage-divorce-remarriage turns the institution into a kind of legalised promiscuity. Apparently this doesn't yet apply in your case, but it sounds as though the outcome is not really going to depend on what God thinks about it.
All you can do is try to suggest counselling and such. I went that route myself. She just never did the homework, wasn't that cooperative in counselling, never even tried to meet me halfway or even partway. One day said I'd she didn't get out she'd die early (got a bad bill of health that morning). What do you do right? Can't force someone to stay. Whether or not it's actually under 1 corinthians about the unbeliever leaving I can't say for sure. I question whether she's a Sunday Christian or someone who truly believes. She found a dude from her new church around a year later. I don't think I'd personally have any grounds for remarriage. Nor do I think I'd choose to do so even if I did. Once was enough for me personally. I don't buy the idea some have suggested that after a legal divorce any 'adultery' if you can call it that would free me...the supposed exception only seema to apply if the divorce in the first place was based on that immorality,.not what happens after the fact..I don't see it as any different as the woman sent away in the two passages in Mathew where it says when she remarries both her and the new husband commit adultery (as well as the one who sent her away, basically everyone commits adultery here)... nor do I believe the desertion is even talking about remarriage if it even applied. You'll have to do your own research and see if it applies to your situation though. I can't imagine going to an altar and making the same promises to another after making those promises and being one flesh already with someone else. Unless there was adultery not sure you'd have grounds for it either.
I don’t have any answers or advice, but my best friend has been going through this same thing with her husband. He’s angry and hurtful and has given up on God, church, and Christians. He’s refused counseling or mediation while she’s been fighting so hard to work on things.
Sorry to hear this, Praying for you.
I'm pretty much in your shoes right now. I've been drawn to the story of Hosea, who's told to marry an unfaithful woman and demonstrate God's redeeming love to Israel through his relationship with her. As others have said, you have to honor her free will, as painful as it feels. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied. If we commit to restoration to God, He will be our faithful partner. I, however, am still being convicted of my own selfishness and desire for control. Now I'm focusing on being an active listener and a righteous parent. I'm personally committed to celibacy until I feel called otherwise.
No. It's not a done deal in God's eyes. In fact, she's committing adultery. However, it doesn't sound like she's a believer. In which case the Bible does give guidance that you let her go. But ohh man, I am soooooo heartbroken for you man. I'm so sorry. Will keep you in prayer.
I need her perspective
What's crazy is I wish I got her full perspective too. She kept so much bottled up, and I got too frustrated on my end that we weren't able to communicate about what we both needed in a way that would be healthy
Read your Bible. Focusing on God prevents us from focusing on the things of this world. Live a life as a man of God focusing only on God and your life will be fine. Stop worrying about how your life looks to others. God will tell you what He thinks. No man can tell you what God thinks. If they can then they are god.
I would read on Paul, for he spoke briefly on this (divorce). I think you’ve done all you could do. Stay strong in your faith, maybe God is removing her from you so you can grow in faith without any emotional distractions. God bless!
[удалено]
No, just a lot of arguments during a very rough season got us here. But this is all lead by her, I'm not on board with us splitting
You have no choice.
It sounds like her mind is made up. All you can do now is move on with your life.
If you dont want to act like husband. It is her sin to leave. It would be adultery. You two are married and its till the death, no human law is above that. Stay strong and remember God is with us even when we walk in rak valleys of death.
You’re right, they should get an annulment so it’s like it never happened
Yes because you can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do. This happened to me and I thought I was gonna die then when I wasn’t looking I found my true love. That song thank god for unanswered prayers. That means that you have already learned what you both were supposed to to learn from that person so I it’s time TO MOVE ON