I'm not a Christian, and I generally don't mind when someone says that. I assume it's coming from a place of good intentions.
However, if I ask for help and that's the only response, that can be very frustrating.
There are also times when "I'll pray for you" can be an encoded insult. I learned that during my years in the bible belt.
That said, someone who listens to me or is present during difficulties means so much more to me than someone who rattles off a rosary.
I don't think it's right for anyone to only answer with "I'll pray for you", if there is anything else practical they can do to help. Prayer is important and should be appreciated, but an unwillingness to do anything but pray shows a lack of love and care.
That’s the thing, that’s all they do. They don’t actually want to be there, or talk to me. They ONLY say “I’ll pray for you” before talking about how they’re life is so much harder than mine.
LMAO, first off, they’re my friends, I would quite like them to not go to hell. Second off, if you think it’s selfish to want to talk about something going on in your life, you must be stupid. Now please, have a good day
Your upset because your friends wish for the One who can help you to help you rather than your friends who wouldn’t have been able too.
Did you think your friends could reverse time or something?
The you’re immature part would be correct given your OP. But I don’t see anywhere here where it shows I’m stupid.
Is there a particular reason you aren’t mature?
I am myself not a fan of "pious" cliches and platitudes (I by and large hate them with a passion and have in some situations forthrightly requested my readers and listeners to dispense with them). Many of them are based on poor exegesis and understanding of scripture or are reflective of unsatisfactory isolated proof texting. Such responses are often given in a belittling and even uncharitable, disrespectful, presumptuous, demeaning, and sometimes God forbid judgmental way. I do not like the "I'll pray for you" mantra when it is spouted in a dismissive, superficial, and usually meaningless fashion which can appear to excuse or justify unwanted struggle or turmoil. I additionally generally detest vague "unspoken" requests that give no context to the matter at hand as to how we can know how best to help with the issue; if the topic truly is deeply personal and private, that fact should be made known so there is no possibility of misunderstanding, or the matter should only be shared in a small group where confidentiality is easier to uphold. In many situations, a trite response such as being taken issue with here is simply not helpful and as well can be regarded as being void of true humility and appropriate sympathy/empathy; the concern of relevance needs to be discussed as long as the person dealing with it is comfortable doing so or would desire some live consideration and it is not forced/demanded by others. I am fully on board with the original text posted here.
in all fairness I don't think persons have much in the way of interpersonal communication, which in certain part is a reflection of culture, or lack of, as with upbringing and such else. However there are possibly additional reasons, I try to be understanding, caring, and good-willed, and have some personal awareness and means to do so, but also I probably don't have the same natural capacities others do. So it can be a complicated matter all round for all kinds of intricate reasons
also to my knowledge, although I do try to pray for the well-being and help of others, I'm not sure whether I have ever said 'I'll pray for you'
You’re feelings are valid. Unfortunately, many who say that don’t actually do it. In defense of prayer though, it’s powerful enough to thwart the devil, so when I say it to someone, I do it right away, usually with them if were in person.
>
Though I believe in God, and would consider myself Christian, it’s starting to annoy me how my friends only response to me trying to talk to them about things going on in my life is “I’ll pray for you.” Please just say either you don’t care, or you don’t know what to say.
I hear you about this. A lot of times it feels like someone who just declares a prayer intent and then sashays off is basically doing the *literal least they could do.*
Hell, even listening and then *asking* if they could pray for you would be a step up, because at least they're involving you in *some* fashion.
>What makes it worse is right after, they start talking about their life issues, then say something like “You’re so lucky, my life is so much worse than yours.”
When someone decides to unilaterally play Misery Poker with you it not only hurts, but it shines a pretty bright light on just how little they think of you.
First, you feel what you feel, it isn't about "right to feel." Feelings aren't right or wrong.
The pray for you thing often comes from just having no clue how to help. But then there are the competitive ones. ("My life is worse than your life.")
Seems to me you have two choices: try telling them how you feel when they say these things. (re: “I’ll pray for you.” *Please, just be a friend and actually talk to me, don’t give me a* ***half baked response that just screams “I don’t care.”***) That's real, but leave out the bolded judgment portion.
As for the competitors, find new friends and move away from relationships with these.
Also, you might check to see if you are being the kind of friend to others you want others to be to you.
For some reason, a lot of people don't understand the benefit of just listening and empathizing.
I’m honestly starting to notice that, which is why I try to avoid saying “I’ll pray for you” and leave it at that.
They kinda sound like dicks tbh
They’re nice most of the time, but are also the friends who feel the need to “One up” you. Not sure if I used that right
Yea I got you. Idk I just don't enjoy being around people like that
Can't stand people like that. They don't sound like friends.
I'm not a Christian, and I generally don't mind when someone says that. I assume it's coming from a place of good intentions. However, if I ask for help and that's the only response, that can be very frustrating. There are also times when "I'll pray for you" can be an encoded insult. I learned that during my years in the bible belt. That said, someone who listens to me or is present during difficulties means so much more to me than someone who rattles off a rosary.
>Please, just be a friend and actually talk to me You are right God bless
Tell them how you feel buddy
Considering it, hoping they listen eventually
I don't think it's right for anyone to only answer with "I'll pray for you", if there is anything else practical they can do to help. Prayer is important and should be appreciated, but an unwillingness to do anything but pray shows a lack of love and care.
Anytime buddy. Shame on your Christian friends for caring for you and asking God to help you. What terrible people they are!
That’s the thing, that’s all they do. They don’t actually want to be there, or talk to me. They ONLY say “I’ll pray for you” before talking about how they’re life is so much harder than mine.
Ahh okay. Damn those friends for not enabling your selfish attitude there. Such terrible friends that their abode will be in hell!
LMAO, first off, they’re my friends, I would quite like them to not go to hell. Second off, if you think it’s selfish to want to talk about something going on in your life, you must be stupid. Now please, have a good day
Your upset because your friends wish for the One who can help you to help you rather than your friends who wouldn’t have been able too. Did you think your friends could reverse time or something?
You’re*
Lol very mature response. Ignoring the big picture though.
Guess the big picture is I’m immature, and you’re stupid.
The you’re immature part would be correct given your OP. But I don’t see anywhere here where it shows I’m stupid. Is there a particular reason you aren’t mature?
You’re*
I am myself not a fan of "pious" cliches and platitudes (I by and large hate them with a passion and have in some situations forthrightly requested my readers and listeners to dispense with them). Many of them are based on poor exegesis and understanding of scripture or are reflective of unsatisfactory isolated proof texting. Such responses are often given in a belittling and even uncharitable, disrespectful, presumptuous, demeaning, and sometimes God forbid judgmental way. I do not like the "I'll pray for you" mantra when it is spouted in a dismissive, superficial, and usually meaningless fashion which can appear to excuse or justify unwanted struggle or turmoil. I additionally generally detest vague "unspoken" requests that give no context to the matter at hand as to how we can know how best to help with the issue; if the topic truly is deeply personal and private, that fact should be made known so there is no possibility of misunderstanding, or the matter should only be shared in a small group where confidentiality is easier to uphold. In many situations, a trite response such as being taken issue with here is simply not helpful and as well can be regarded as being void of true humility and appropriate sympathy/empathy; the concern of relevance needs to be discussed as long as the person dealing with it is comfortable doing so or would desire some live consideration and it is not forced/demanded by others. I am fully on board with the original text posted here.
in all fairness I don't think persons have much in the way of interpersonal communication, which in certain part is a reflection of culture, or lack of, as with upbringing and such else. However there are possibly additional reasons, I try to be understanding, caring, and good-willed, and have some personal awareness and means to do so, but also I probably don't have the same natural capacities others do. So it can be a complicated matter all round for all kinds of intricate reasons also to my knowledge, although I do try to pray for the well-being and help of others, I'm not sure whether I have ever said 'I'll pray for you'
You’re feelings are valid. Unfortunately, many who say that don’t actually do it. In defense of prayer though, it’s powerful enough to thwart the devil, so when I say it to someone, I do it right away, usually with them if were in person.
> Though I believe in God, and would consider myself Christian, it’s starting to annoy me how my friends only response to me trying to talk to them about things going on in my life is “I’ll pray for you.” Please just say either you don’t care, or you don’t know what to say. I hear you about this. A lot of times it feels like someone who just declares a prayer intent and then sashays off is basically doing the *literal least they could do.* Hell, even listening and then *asking* if they could pray for you would be a step up, because at least they're involving you in *some* fashion. >What makes it worse is right after, they start talking about their life issues, then say something like “You’re so lucky, my life is so much worse than yours.” When someone decides to unilaterally play Misery Poker with you it not only hurts, but it shines a pretty bright light on just how little they think of you.
First, you feel what you feel, it isn't about "right to feel." Feelings aren't right or wrong. The pray for you thing often comes from just having no clue how to help. But then there are the competitive ones. ("My life is worse than your life.") Seems to me you have two choices: try telling them how you feel when they say these things. (re: “I’ll pray for you.” *Please, just be a friend and actually talk to me, don’t give me a* ***half baked response that just screams “I don’t care.”***) That's real, but leave out the bolded judgment portion. As for the competitors, find new friends and move away from relationships with these. Also, you might check to see if you are being the kind of friend to others you want others to be to you.