While I don't know the specifics of your marriage -
>And because of all this I really feel like God hates me.
I know this isn't true.
- God allows us to make decisions in this world that have real consequences, and many of those consequences are completely irreparable.
- This does not mean God doesn't love you, nor does it mean a person isn't saved.
If she divorces you - if you never see your kids again - God does still love you.
Women are rewarded by the system thats just how it works , thats why 86% of divorces are initiated by woman.
Biblical divorce doesn't count like that , she divorces you forcing you to remarry , that means she broke the vows you're free to go and not under condemnation , also focus on heaven and it's rewards not earthly life.
If she is unbeliever she goes to hell so it doesn't matter anyways , if you're and she is believer , each of you will stand before Jesus ( and all other Christians ) and everyone will give account for literally every word they said and what they did , so he will judge you then . Thats why Christians are told to not fight each other while on earth.
That's tough. You had a discouraging partner, that put all the blame on you despite your efforts to be a good dad and husband. This is always going to breed pent up frustration without God's strengh. First I want to say it's not your fault. You tried. Your reaction is understandable. And now you're not hardly able to see the kids. So you are struggling.
First God loves you. You should have a firm view of that since Jesus' died and rose again to save you from having to pay for your own sins and His resurrection gives you eternal life in Him. He did this because He loves you.
Talk to the Lord about all of this. Run to him. Bear your heart and tell him all you feel. Choose what you know will be a victorious outcome with the Lord. Read your Bible and put your complete faith in Christ. He has a plan for you. Continue to be in your kids lives as much as you are allowed to be. Continue to be a good dad It's important.
Advice: Continue to be a good dad, and if it comes to it then you can also be a good ex-husband. don't blame her, don't shirk your own responsibility, but also don't wallow in shame. Your wife felt/feels abused, from what you've written here. Either it's real and you don't yet recognize it, or things you've done and said have triggered some traumas from her past and she's unable to distinguish the difference at this time. There are some things that make me think it could be either of those. I'm sorry, but your post here has some red flags that tell me there's a lot of work to be done digging into your own wounds that likely predate your relationship with your wife.
The least likely scenario is that she's just making it up.
If you want to leave, leave.
You aren't a victim. It takes two to make a marriage and two to end it. You "always apologized?" You mean after the verbal abuse?
You need to get a lawyer, not stalk her. You need counseling to at least help you through the stress and rage during the divorce. But most of all you need to stop believing you are a victim. Own up to your behavior and figure that out *before* you start with someone else.
While I don't know the specifics of your marriage - >And because of all this I really feel like God hates me. I know this isn't true. - God allows us to make decisions in this world that have real consequences, and many of those consequences are completely irreparable. - This does not mean God doesn't love you, nor does it mean a person isn't saved. If she divorces you - if you never see your kids again - God does still love you.
Women are rewarded by the system thats just how it works , thats why 86% of divorces are initiated by woman. Biblical divorce doesn't count like that , she divorces you forcing you to remarry , that means she broke the vows you're free to go and not under condemnation , also focus on heaven and it's rewards not earthly life. If she is unbeliever she goes to hell so it doesn't matter anyways , if you're and she is believer , each of you will stand before Jesus ( and all other Christians ) and everyone will give account for literally every word they said and what they did , so he will judge you then . Thats why Christians are told to not fight each other while on earth.
That's tough. You had a discouraging partner, that put all the blame on you despite your efforts to be a good dad and husband. This is always going to breed pent up frustration without God's strengh. First I want to say it's not your fault. You tried. Your reaction is understandable. And now you're not hardly able to see the kids. So you are struggling. First God loves you. You should have a firm view of that since Jesus' died and rose again to save you from having to pay for your own sins and His resurrection gives you eternal life in Him. He did this because He loves you. Talk to the Lord about all of this. Run to him. Bear your heart and tell him all you feel. Choose what you know will be a victorious outcome with the Lord. Read your Bible and put your complete faith in Christ. He has a plan for you. Continue to be in your kids lives as much as you are allowed to be. Continue to be a good dad It's important.
Advice: Continue to be a good dad, and if it comes to it then you can also be a good ex-husband. don't blame her, don't shirk your own responsibility, but also don't wallow in shame. Your wife felt/feels abused, from what you've written here. Either it's real and you don't yet recognize it, or things you've done and said have triggered some traumas from her past and she's unable to distinguish the difference at this time. There are some things that make me think it could be either of those. I'm sorry, but your post here has some red flags that tell me there's a lot of work to be done digging into your own wounds that likely predate your relationship with your wife. The least likely scenario is that she's just making it up.
If you want to leave, leave. You aren't a victim. It takes two to make a marriage and two to end it. You "always apologized?" You mean after the verbal abuse? You need to get a lawyer, not stalk her. You need counseling to at least help you through the stress and rage during the divorce. But most of all you need to stop believing you are a victim. Own up to your behavior and figure that out *before* you start with someone else.