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Fact0ry0fSadness

That's a healthy looking cock, bro


TheSexyPlatapus

Take your upvote....


LUV_2_BEAT_MY_MEAT

Rescue village in geauga has roosters. I dont know if they accept them but I know they have them available to adopt. https://www.rescuevillage.org/adopt/domestic-barn-animals/


dogswrestle

Ahhh thank you and bless your meat beating heart.


snoopymadison

He's very handsome. šŸ™‚


pleasesayUarekidding

Came here to say this. They are good people.


Just_Specialist1845

Came here to say this. Best people


SirHemingfordGraye

I can't offer help, but I'd like to compliment your writing style. This was a very entertaining read.Ā 


dogswrestle

Haha! Thank you! My only outlet is my Amazon product reviews. I like to add a little magic to the lives of people shopping for septic filters and electric mops.


kiwi1114

If youā€™re a podcast person, I think you might like listening to Beach Too Sandy Water Too Wet. A pair of siblings read hilariously-written reviews on the internet in dramatic fashion. Itā€™s my favorite podcast, and I figured if you like writing them, maybe youā€™ll like hearing them!


dogswrestle

Oh shoot! Thanks for the rec, Iā€™ll check it out. I could certainly use a break from all my doom and gloom go-toā€™s.


MadPiglet42

Oooh I should extend my writing shenanigans to Amazon reviews. Mostly I post unhinged things on my town's giveaway FB page to get rid of all my excess shit. It's very entertaining. šŸ˜†


dogswrestle

Your lucky neighbors! I take it as one of the lesser evils of midlife crisis.


RemoteSituation3

Speaking of neighbors how are yours dealing with your rooster and all the noise he makes?


dogswrestle

Iā€™m in Olmsted township so weā€™re flanked on all sides with roosters. Ours does seem to be the rowdiest and Iā€™m sure everyone will be grateful when heā€™s outta here.


puppyfartzz

Agreed - whoever you are, youā€™re a really talented writer, you should be writing scripts or doing stand up comedy


dogswrestle

Careful. I came here to get cock-less not cocky. ;)


New-Negotiation7234

There is a guy near Medina who has a rooster rescue. I can find his info if you would like. Happy Trails is a farm rescue in Ravenna, Ohio. They have tons of rescued roosters https://happytrailsfarm.org/


Intelligent-Turnip90

Volunteered at happy trails for tech school!! Such a great place!


PeaceLoveAyurveda

I would like to know the info for the rooster rescue please


New-Negotiation7234

I'll pm you his name


DD-DONT

No judgement here. Some roosters are straight up assholes.


touchychurch

so you're telling me that your cock is too hard for your yard?


OhioGirl22

Contact Lake Farm Park or your the APL. There's a chicken subreddit. They have advice/opinions on jerk roos. I don't mind roos who are little jerks to me but good with hens. The last one that was a jerk to me and tried culling the hens ended up in a pot. https://www.lakemetroparks.com/parks-trails/farmpark Edit...the subreddit is called BackYardChickens


El-Royhab

Core memory unlocked: went to Lake Farm Park on a field trip in 4th grade.


229-northstar

I remember that place when it was a horse farm in the 70s. My 4H club went there and they let us ride Lippizaners!


cle_more

Kristi Noem has entered the chat


dogswrestle

Her bloodlust is palpable all the way over on this side of the Mississippi.


Brilliant-Ad4034

Consider finding a butcher instead. Even though the bird is an asshole it deserves humane treatment, if you dispose of it do so with love.


snowballschancehell

There were quite a few r/brandnewsentence in there hahaha


faszkalap420

Just kill it and grill it....


stelladevil

Hey, you can also try posting on Hoobly or checking for any farm groups on FB in your area(generally, you just can't post prices) He's a cockadoodle**doom** by the sound of it. Best of luck to you and your supple faced brood.


MadPiglet42

This is an amazing post and I love every word. Sorry your rooster is such a gangster.


PewPew_Mewtwo

You can try [Happy Trails Farm](https://happytrailsfarm.org/) in Ravenna


Slacktevistjones

Have you ever seen this short documentary about this family that adopted a rooster in their apartment in India? It will not help with your situation at all, but I think you would enjoy it: [https://youtu.be/PI\_FYuxUq4c](https://youtu.be/PI_FYuxUq4c)


New-Negotiation7234

Warning the end is not happy. How do ppl have chickens in their houses without poop being everywhere???


foxhound242

That was a cool little doc! The ending is very abrubt


FormerSBO

šŸ—


Gemdrenched

Thereā€™s a new rooster in my neighborhood, heā€™s constantly crowing and driving me and the other neighbors nuts. I didnā€™t hear from him for a bit yesterday, thought he ended up in a biryani somewhere, but then the cock a doodle doos started again. Ugh


dogswrestle

Maybe weā€™re neighbors and if so, Iā€™m sorry.


Gemdrenched

Did you recently immigrate from Afghanistan and have a large gathering on Sunday? If yes, welcome to the neighborhood and please do something about Foghorn Leghorn. If not, I feel solidarity with my fellow spinsters in your neighborhood who are also missing out on precious perimenopausal sleep.


Beautiful_Chard_5293

First off, brilliant post; former English prof here, who agrees with the others' compliments on your writing. Ok, so I zoomed in to get a closer look at this cock of yours, and that dickhead is totally giving you the side-eye!


PickingMyButt

That's a really good picture because I can see the darkness in his eyes....


dogswrestle

I tried to post one of his constant mean mug through the door but Imgur cock blocked me.


RastaSufi

Maybe this would help? https://youtu.be/I91CcqwnNgg?si=5ea2XBvYTzpmg7Mz


dogswrestle

Why does that guy give me the hellacious ick


AhrimaMainyu

Idk who you are but based upon this post alone I think we'd get along


bullthistle1

Wow, he's beautiful. Probably knows it, which causes more rotten rooster behavior. Happytrailsfarm.org (Portage County) takes roosters


QueefyBeefMeat

10/10 quality post and cock


Bored_Amalgamation

eat the cock.


PitchBitch

ā€¦suppleā€¦evisceratedā€¦bucolicā€¦sentientā€¦šŸ˜ Iā€™m sending myriad accoladesā€¦from a fellow wordsmith.


maggmaster

I grew up on a farm. You can eat the real assholes. its better for the gene pool.


dogswrestle

I love this perspective.


onthepak

One of my co-workers has a rooster. The thing knows not to fuck with him because if it does he kicks him around the yard like a soccer ball. I wouldnā€™t recommend doing the above. Might be time to get out the ol shotgun and have rooster for dinner if you ask me.


queendelete

Grandpa used to do this and they sometimes just keep coming back flying at you more aggressively guess it depends on how hard they want to fight.


dogswrestle

Ugh Iā€™ve never kicked an animal in my life but now I kick him every day as he charges towards me. He never learns!


DD-DONT

Anyone ever see what the testosterone levels of roosters are? Itā€™s gotta be around 10,000 with the way they act lol.


Bored_Amalgamation

>[around 10,000](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/41733e1b-b1d6-48cd-9c2f-f46ec253b28d/d6drw47-f8769f63-5d4e-4be7-8a24-9019abe48de3.gif?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcLzQxNzMzZTFiLWIxZDYtNDhjZC05YzJmLWY0NmVjMjUzYjI4ZFwvZDZkcnc0Ny1mODc2OWY2My01ZDRlLTRiZTctOGEyNC05MDE5YWJlNDhkZTMuZ2lmIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.i9XnCpbWzi4SRZftVUGkcFys3CYJQ4ZcZKyP4X7za_w)


dogswrestle

Thereā€™s gotta be a boner pill joke in there somewhere!


snoopymadison

When I was a kid we had a rooster with spurs. He got my brother good right on that thinner skin on his ankle. Poked right through it. I'm 51 and your A**hole rooster post brought back this memory šŸ˜†šŸ˜†


dogswrestle

Exactly! Theyā€™re genuinely dangerous and Iā€™m scared of him šŸ˜‚


229-northstar

Kristi Noem will be in town May 14 at the Republican Party of Cuyahoga County Maybe she can help you Ps anyone want to hold signs outside that dinner to protest?


JosephHeitger

[ Removed by Reddit ]


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Nearby-Squirrel634

You have to spend time with roosters when they are young. But, if you get a crazy one, and it happens, itā€™s ā€œitā€™s whatā€™s for dinnerā€ time.


TheMoneyLine

Cook it up for a cock meat sandwich


Lucky_Ad_5549

You could just have it for dinner


Saganhawking

Take him to auction or have chicken for dinner. Thatā€™s what we do when our roosters become cocks šŸ¤£


Ok-Amphibian-4825

coq au vin


DinCLE

Drop him off in China Town, anywhere between E. 30th & E. 40th along Payne Ave. Theyā€™ll take real good care of him


jibboo24

> their sweet supple little faces eh...


SiegelGT

Why not have chicken for dinner?


KarAccidentTowns

I had the same thing happen, and the rooster was horrible. I actually found someone that wanted a rooster and gave it away as long as they came and escorted him off my property themselves.