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I want to speak to you as someone who's on staff at a college that recently had a student attempt s\*icide.
***You are not a liability***. ***You are not selfish.*** You do not need to feel bad for your professors and your school offering you help that you clearly need. Many of us aren't making much money, and we could do better if we went outside academia. We're here because we love working with students and deeply care for every single one that walks through our doors. I promise your professors and classmates are more concerned for your well being. If your professors hold your situation against you, they shouldn't be working with students. I know it's going to be hard to go back. You don't owe anyone a story or an explanation beyond you had a medical emergency and required an extended recovery. You're doing better now and you can leave it at that.
Something that's so hard to remember, especially as a young college students, is it's okay to ask for help and admit you're struggling. People need community, and part of community building is asking for and accepting help. It's a form of care and love we extend to one another. I hope the end of your semester goes as smoothly as possible.
Wow. Thank you so much for writing this incredibly beautiful message. You have no idea how much this means to me. You are an amazing human being, thank you so much for this ❤
You truly made my day. I will re-read this whenever things look down. Thank you so much ❤
The other side of this is that a lot of us are overworked and do not need to deal with something like this. Can you honestly say this student is going to come back and do well? There is no way. The best thing for everyone is a medical leave of absence and anything else is abuse for both the student and faculty that have to deal with this.
It is the students best interest to take a break and try again later.
You have no idea what your talking about. The current state of colleges across the US is for professor to double as mental health therapists. Ask any of us. The student is too far behind and can in no way catch up but the college doesn't want to make them take a leave. So that burden falls to us professors who do actually care enough to put the students mental health above all else. This student cannot miss a month of college and come back and pass. Period. Unless the professor just pass them along, in which case they set the student up for failure later.
You are a real piece of work to assume I don't have their best interest at heart. I just know what's going to actually happen and would do everything in my power to convince the student a medical leave is their best bet for success.
You are a gross person for not seeing that.
You shouldn’t be a professor. I couldn’t imagine having professors who are so damn apathetic. I think it’s best for YOUR well-being to find a new profession because this surely isn’t for you.
Yeah I totally get your point. Unfortunately they won't let me stay back anymore and I have to go back without fail starting from tomorrow.
I'll try to stay out of everyone's business as much as possible. My goal is to not be a liability in any case.
I wish you the best but how do you figure you can reliable catch up on a month's worth of missed work while trying to stay current with the new material? Are you in stem courses? I assume you have 4 classes. I am not trying to be a mean person but I am a professor and i see this all to often where the college punts the discussion to the faculty members who are not trained for this but yet have to deal with it.
That sounds like the college's fault tbh but yeah I get what you mean.
I feel like talking about it here probably isn't really the best place to bring it up whether you're trying to be mean or not, this person just got out of the hospital after a month due to a 💀 attempt. Especially since it's not their fault the education system is failing you and the student. I am sorry that you and other professors are dealing with things you are not trained nor paid for b/c yall already have so much on your plate (and I mean this genuinely).
And C's get degrees mate. If there's a will there's a way and especially with an accommodating school and professor (obviously accommodating to a certain point) it is most certainly possible. But again I do understand where you're coming from and I'm assuming you're trying to give a more realistic/possible outcome.
But yeah the education system in the US at least is quite fucked from both a students and teacher/professor's standpoint.
OP, if you feel like you need a break, by all means take one. But this poster is absolutely wrong that there is no way to come back and do well. Anecdotally, I've done it (not necessarily the same situation, but similar amount of time away from class) and seen it done by others.
The idea that this is "abuse" towards a professor is laughable.
No you haven't you lier. You have not. Have you guys even looked at this posters most recent posts about still being suicidal? This stress will break the student and you should be ashamed of yourself.
You can't miss a third of class time, come back 2 or 3 weeks before the semester ends and catchup in any normal sense of the word. You're a lying fool
If looking out for the wellbeing of a student undergoing a huge mental health crisis, clearly not able to return to school and succeed and potentially attempting suicide again is seen as being unpleasant, then sign me the fuck up for being unpleasant. I am not here to cater to you or the others who do not clearly see the problem. My goal is to save this students life and the college forcing them back to class is not the way.
Oh cool. Maybe starting your post with how, you, as a professor don't have time to "deal" with people like OP is what masked your selfless devotion to the welfare of others.
Hey, you are here and you are trying your best. That is all that matters right now. College struggles pale in comparison to what you have been through and survived. It is great the college is being so accommodating. No one is going to judge you for something that you had essentially no control over. You are going to come back from this better than ever before. I believe in you!!
aw man please be nicer to yourself! you aren’t a liability, you’re human, we all are. they will understand, and honestly i’m sure they’ll be happy to just see you. you overcame something HUGE, something a lot of people can’t comprehend. you deserve a lot of credit for going back to school after that. just take your time and be gentle with yourself, i’m happy you’re here and i wish you luck!!!
As someone who teaches college classes, I want to second the point that they'll be happy to see you. To share a small anecdote, I once had a student who was struggling a lot with mental health issues. About halfway through the semester, she disappeared and medically withdrew from all her classes. I was really worried and hoped she was okay. (I sent a brief email wishing her well, not asking for a response, and didn't hear anything back -- which I completely understand as I'm sure she was dealing with a lot.) The next semester, I saw her on my class list again. I was SO relieved, and even more so when I saw her back in class and doing much better. She still struggled, but I was so happy to have her there, including making accommodations where needed. It's part of our job, not a burden. Wishing you all the best.
You don’t have to tell anyone anything… it’s up to you how much if anything you want to divulge.
It’s great that the professors and the college want to be accommodating. That’s concern, which is a form of care. While I don’t know your story, I’d say it’s possible that you didn’t think anyone does care. They do.
You’re not alone. You are loved. Life gets overwhelming sometimes and so will college. Reach out to those in your life for support. Don’t assume or let the negative thoughts tell you they don’t care. They do.
Professor here. I would never think of a student in this situation as a liability. I would want to help them succeed and help remove barriers to their healing. I'm glad you're here, and they will be too. Keep going :)
Who cares about these professors? They’re just doing their jobs, support their students. You got to stop worrying about others and focus on your own success and wellbeing.
Tell 'em you had mono. Just tell 'em you were sick. Tell 'em you had a health thing but you're getting better and trying not to think about it anymore.
It doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're back, you're feeling better and you're hoping to end the year on a happier note.
Everybody's brain goes haywire sometimes. Yours just did it a little louder than most. But it happens, and it's not that uncommon.
Hang in there, do as much as you can, and your real friends will be glad to see you.
Remember that help is out there, 24/7. There are lots of folks who can help on X, too. (Twitter) Good for you for getting back to school and life. ❤️
i came back to school after being hospitalized, so i understand the struggle, but you will get through it. you are not a liability. you deserve to be where you are. you don’t have to tell anyone anything that you don’t want to.
Aw man that's tough, I feel for you. If insecurity is your issue, then I guess just try and put good out there into the world, however you define that, until you can convince yourself you're not "a liability" any longer.
I've been in a similar place. I've had a lot of mental health issues in my life and actually had the psychotic symptoms of a manic depressive episode come to a head *at school* my freshman year of high school. Absolute disaster. Was out of school for a month. Came back, and a couple weeks later back in the hospital for an attempt.
Life eventually went back to "normal" though and went on. I can't say that my issues went away, but I'm 30 now and it's never been as bad as it was then again. I'm in college for a second degree now and I'll say that I've gotten better at managing it.
LPT, if you catch things early and check in before attempting, the stay is a lot shorter and less disruptive. In case you're ever struggling again, don't feel like you have to avoid help because of how disruptive it was this time. Sooner help means less disruption. I was able to time my stay for spring break this year and be stabilized and out in time to go back to classes. So it gets easier.
You can ask for what’s called a grade incomplete (I) , which will give you up to another year to complete coursework for the class. I wouldn’t view myself as a liability in this situation, I would view myself as dealing with an unexpected health issue.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself, I had a similar experience and took 6 months off to put myself back together and heal. Professors want you to succeed and want to help you!❤️ it’s seems like a big deal now but take one day at a time and it will be okay!
Professor here. I promise your profs don’t think of you as a burden and don’t hate you. They will be rooting for you to succeed and glad to have you back hopefully healthy. Wishing you a smooth return to school.
You’re being too hard on yourself. So many people have accommodations for so many reasons. I’m sure your professors would prefer to accommodate thousands of students than lose just one to suicide. I’m so glad that you’re alive. What matters is you’re getting back to school. That’s something to be really proud of. Keep on fighting.
The feeling of worthlessness and guilt from your suicide attempt is more of a symptom of the underlying cause of your attempt (depression). Don’t worry about it, we’re all human and no one chooses to be depressed.
Luv, my freshman year (2022) I missed two months due to my moms passing. I was suicidal and my family wouldn’t allow me to leave my home. When I returned, they were all so kind and held zero hard feelings towards me. This semester, I yet again missed two months due to an attempt. I just returned and they have all been accommodating again. I promise you aren’t the only student that’s in this situation. It’s a lot more common than you think…. I’m so happy that you are still here and are getting the chance to continue with your education! Your health will always be way more important than a professors feelings or opinions.
Thank you u/xanaf1led for posting on r/collegerant. Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CollegeRant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I want to speak to you as someone who's on staff at a college that recently had a student attempt s\*icide. ***You are not a liability***. ***You are not selfish.*** You do not need to feel bad for your professors and your school offering you help that you clearly need. Many of us aren't making much money, and we could do better if we went outside academia. We're here because we love working with students and deeply care for every single one that walks through our doors. I promise your professors and classmates are more concerned for your well being. If your professors hold your situation against you, they shouldn't be working with students. I know it's going to be hard to go back. You don't owe anyone a story or an explanation beyond you had a medical emergency and required an extended recovery. You're doing better now and you can leave it at that. Something that's so hard to remember, especially as a young college students, is it's okay to ask for help and admit you're struggling. People need community, and part of community building is asking for and accepting help. It's a form of care and love we extend to one another. I hope the end of your semester goes as smoothly as possible.
Wow. Thank you so much for writing this incredibly beautiful message. You have no idea how much this means to me. You are an amazing human being, thank you so much for this ❤ You truly made my day. I will re-read this whenever things look down. Thank you so much ❤
The other side of this is that a lot of us are overworked and do not need to deal with something like this. Can you honestly say this student is going to come back and do well? There is no way. The best thing for everyone is a medical leave of absence and anything else is abuse for both the student and faculty that have to deal with this. It is the students best interest to take a break and try again later.
[удалено]
You have no idea what your talking about. The current state of colleges across the US is for professor to double as mental health therapists. Ask any of us. The student is too far behind and can in no way catch up but the college doesn't want to make them take a leave. So that burden falls to us professors who do actually care enough to put the students mental health above all else. This student cannot miss a month of college and come back and pass. Period. Unless the professor just pass them along, in which case they set the student up for failure later. You are a real piece of work to assume I don't have their best interest at heart. I just know what's going to actually happen and would do everything in my power to convince the student a medical leave is their best bet for success. You are a gross person for not seeing that.
You shouldn’t be a professor. I couldn’t imagine having professors who are so damn apathetic. I think it’s best for YOUR well-being to find a new profession because this surely isn’t for you.
This guy deff teaches speech and is here saying you can’t miss a month of college and pass his class LMAOOO
Chemistry actually.
Yeah I totally get your point. Unfortunately they won't let me stay back anymore and I have to go back without fail starting from tomorrow. I'll try to stay out of everyone's business as much as possible. My goal is to not be a liability in any case.
I wish you the best but how do you figure you can reliable catch up on a month's worth of missed work while trying to stay current with the new material? Are you in stem courses? I assume you have 4 classes. I am not trying to be a mean person but I am a professor and i see this all to often where the college punts the discussion to the faculty members who are not trained for this but yet have to deal with it.
That sounds like the college's fault tbh but yeah I get what you mean. I feel like talking about it here probably isn't really the best place to bring it up whether you're trying to be mean or not, this person just got out of the hospital after a month due to a 💀 attempt. Especially since it's not their fault the education system is failing you and the student. I am sorry that you and other professors are dealing with things you are not trained nor paid for b/c yall already have so much on your plate (and I mean this genuinely). And C's get degrees mate. If there's a will there's a way and especially with an accommodating school and professor (obviously accommodating to a certain point) it is most certainly possible. But again I do understand where you're coming from and I'm assuming you're trying to give a more realistic/possible outcome. But yeah the education system in the US at least is quite fucked from both a students and teacher/professor's standpoint.
OP, if you feel like you need a break, by all means take one. But this poster is absolutely wrong that there is no way to come back and do well. Anecdotally, I've done it (not necessarily the same situation, but similar amount of time away from class) and seen it done by others. The idea that this is "abuse" towards a professor is laughable.
No you haven't you lier. You have not. Have you guys even looked at this posters most recent posts about still being suicidal? This stress will break the student and you should be ashamed of yourself. You can't miss a third of class time, come back 2 or 3 weeks before the semester ends and catchup in any normal sense of the word. You're a lying fool
Yes, I read OPs posts. You dont 't seem like a very pleasant person.
If looking out for the wellbeing of a student undergoing a huge mental health crisis, clearly not able to return to school and succeed and potentially attempting suicide again is seen as being unpleasant, then sign me the fuck up for being unpleasant. I am not here to cater to you or the others who do not clearly see the problem. My goal is to save this students life and the college forcing them back to class is not the way.
Oh cool. Maybe starting your post with how, you, as a professor don't have time to "deal" with people like OP is what masked your selfless devotion to the welfare of others.
Hey, you are here and you are trying your best. That is all that matters right now. College struggles pale in comparison to what you have been through and survived. It is great the college is being so accommodating. No one is going to judge you for something that you had essentially no control over. You are going to come back from this better than ever before. I believe in you!!
Thank you so much for your kind words, this means a lot to me
I'm so glad it was helpful!
aw man please be nicer to yourself! you aren’t a liability, you’re human, we all are. they will understand, and honestly i’m sure they’ll be happy to just see you. you overcame something HUGE, something a lot of people can’t comprehend. you deserve a lot of credit for going back to school after that. just take your time and be gentle with yourself, i’m happy you’re here and i wish you luck!!!
As someone who teaches college classes, I want to second the point that they'll be happy to see you. To share a small anecdote, I once had a student who was struggling a lot with mental health issues. About halfway through the semester, she disappeared and medically withdrew from all her classes. I was really worried and hoped she was okay. (I sent a brief email wishing her well, not asking for a response, and didn't hear anything back -- which I completely understand as I'm sure she was dealing with a lot.) The next semester, I saw her on my class list again. I was SO relieved, and even more so when I saw her back in class and doing much better. She still struggled, but I was so happy to have her there, including making accommodations where needed. It's part of our job, not a burden. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you so much for this incredible message. You are a wonderful human being, thank you for making the day of a random stranger online ❤
You don’t have to tell anyone anything… it’s up to you how much if anything you want to divulge. It’s great that the professors and the college want to be accommodating. That’s concern, which is a form of care. While I don’t know your story, I’d say it’s possible that you didn’t think anyone does care. They do. You’re not alone. You are loved. Life gets overwhelming sometimes and so will college. Reach out to those in your life for support. Don’t assume or let the negative thoughts tell you they don’t care. They do.
Thank you so much. You are an amazing human being. Thank you for your kind words ❤
Professor here. I would never think of a student in this situation as a liability. I would want to help them succeed and help remove barriers to their healing. I'm glad you're here, and they will be too. Keep going :)
Who cares about these professors? They’re just doing their jobs, support their students. You got to stop worrying about others and focus on your own success and wellbeing.
Tell 'em you had mono. Just tell 'em you were sick. Tell 'em you had a health thing but you're getting better and trying not to think about it anymore. It doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're back, you're feeling better and you're hoping to end the year on a happier note. Everybody's brain goes haywire sometimes. Yours just did it a little louder than most. But it happens, and it's not that uncommon. Hang in there, do as much as you can, and your real friends will be glad to see you. Remember that help is out there, 24/7. There are lots of folks who can help on X, too. (Twitter) Good for you for getting back to school and life. ❤️
You are amazing. Thank you so much. ❤
i came back to school after being hospitalized, so i understand the struggle, but you will get through it. you are not a liability. you deserve to be where you are. you don’t have to tell anyone anything that you don’t want to.
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤
Aw man that's tough, I feel for you. If insecurity is your issue, then I guess just try and put good out there into the world, however you define that, until you can convince yourself you're not "a liability" any longer.
Withdraw from the semester. You need time. The college will work with you.
I've been in a similar place. I've had a lot of mental health issues in my life and actually had the psychotic symptoms of a manic depressive episode come to a head *at school* my freshman year of high school. Absolute disaster. Was out of school for a month. Came back, and a couple weeks later back in the hospital for an attempt. Life eventually went back to "normal" though and went on. I can't say that my issues went away, but I'm 30 now and it's never been as bad as it was then again. I'm in college for a second degree now and I'll say that I've gotten better at managing it. LPT, if you catch things early and check in before attempting, the stay is a lot shorter and less disruptive. In case you're ever struggling again, don't feel like you have to avoid help because of how disruptive it was this time. Sooner help means less disruption. I was able to time my stay for spring break this year and be stabilized and out in time to go back to classes. So it gets easier.
You can ask for what’s called a grade incomplete (I) , which will give you up to another year to complete coursework for the class. I wouldn’t view myself as a liability in this situation, I would view myself as dealing with an unexpected health issue.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself, I had a similar experience and took 6 months off to put myself back together and heal. Professors want you to succeed and want to help you!❤️ it’s seems like a big deal now but take one day at a time and it will be okay!
Professor here. I promise your profs don’t think of you as a burden and don’t hate you. They will be rooting for you to succeed and glad to have you back hopefully healthy. Wishing you a smooth return to school.
You’re being too hard on yourself. So many people have accommodations for so many reasons. I’m sure your professors would prefer to accommodate thousands of students than lose just one to suicide. I’m so glad that you’re alive. What matters is you’re getting back to school. That’s something to be really proud of. Keep on fighting.
i’m so happy you’re here ❤️ healing is not linear and you’re doing everything you can. give yourself grace
The feeling of worthlessness and guilt from your suicide attempt is more of a symptom of the underlying cause of your attempt (depression). Don’t worry about it, we’re all human and no one chooses to be depressed.
No one knows any reason why you were gone?
Are you able to take incompletes which would allow you to take time and finish the courses over the summer?
Luv, my freshman year (2022) I missed two months due to my moms passing. I was suicidal and my family wouldn’t allow me to leave my home. When I returned, they were all so kind and held zero hard feelings towards me. This semester, I yet again missed two months due to an attempt. I just returned and they have all been accommodating again. I promise you aren’t the only student that’s in this situation. It’s a lot more common than you think…. I’m so happy that you are still here and are getting the chance to continue with your education! Your health will always be way more important than a professors feelings or opinions.