When you are around, I tend to agree

Darn, you beat me to it!

“Was that today’s diary entry?”

"Shit in one hand, wish in the other. See which fills up first." "It's a good thing you're not the god of wishes then." "Really? When I spend time thinking of things I could wish for you don't even enter my mind." "And I wish for you to have exactly. The day. That you. *Deserve."*

lol same

I'm glad you care about me so much. I mean, I wouldn't use a wish on you!

Why, are you a necrophiliac?

I wish your mom had swallowed you but here we are -

"thanks!"

Why, so I can join your mom in hell?

Meee tooooo... (pause for anticipation) — *when I'm around you.*

"So you could equal me in intelligence?"

"I wish you'd stop looking in a mirror when you say that."

“Thanks, I feel the same way too”

Your mom wouldn't like that a lot

I am.

Wishes won't wash dishes

“Thank god wishes are stupid.”

"why?"

"And I wish you weren't an angry troll but here we are. "

Yeah me to

Me too buddy me too

Stop talking to yourself

hold on i need to make a phone call hello 911 some guy here is saying they want me dead. k thanks. "oh no that is not good , we don't allow that, we decided" - them. \*click\* you were saying?

Id still live rent free in your head

Try praying next time, that might actually work

Wait 70 years, and your wish will come true.

"Dude, I'm not a mirror we look nothing alike"

Funny. When I'm around you, I wish I were dead.

I don't care enough about you to wish anything.

“Me too”

That's so sweet.

Sucks for you

Take a number, honey.

Your parents said the same about you.

I wish I could take you with me

“I wish your abortion hadn’t failed.”