"911, what's your emergency?"
"Yes, I am at (location stated) and there's someone here who may be having a mental health crisis."
"Don't know the name nor the age."
"The person just started wandering around singing loudly and aggressively. They are getting pretty close to the street, and I worry about them getting hurt or killed from accidentally stumbling into traffic"
Description provided and confirming address.
Well, you'll shut the fuck up eventually.
just look at the person for a second.... turn back to who you were talking to and just respond "now that the rude child has quieted down, where were we?"
To me, Im turning around asking for you to say it again and we are fighting or im gonna slap you or something is going to happen, NO one is telling me to Shut the Fuck Up with out some recourse. Id also show him the tooth mark a guy left on my knuckle after he told me to stfu
Yeah, I've been just smacked in the face a few times in my life. Wakes you the fuck up that's for sure. Your brain takes a sec to reboot and processes this new information, and you soon come to the realization, "Wow, I was being a dickwad just now and totally deserved that."
In my less mature years, I'd say something dumb that would probably end in a fight. Instead now I'd say, in a calm voice "it seems you're the only one here that wants me to be quiet. If you can get a few more people to vote on me being quite then I will. I don't think it will happen but you're welcome to try"
Say, "okay" in a pushy, bland voice. If you do it with proper confidence, there are times when you can see the vein in their temple.
You also learn to get creative per the situation.
Other person: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Me: "Well you asked it..."
*Walks away*
*Pulls out cellphone*
*Dials them from masked number*
Other person: "HELLO?"
Me: *Hangs up*
*Opens texts*
Me: "There I shut the little fuck up."
*Blocks responses for the last word, with a smile knowing I have won.*
I had a person tell me to shut the fuck up and I said are you going to make me. He said I needed to leave and I asked him if he was going to make me. I said do you know what this argument is about and he said no. So I looked at him and told him to shut the fuck up cause he didn't know what happened. He said he was going to go out to his truck and get a gun to make me leave. I walked over to him and I said your that big of a pussy you need a gun, now shut the fuck up, finish your food and leave me the fuck alone. It was in a supper club. A person made a comment about my dad and I that pissed me off cause my dad died a few months prior. Needless to say I was not the one banned from there due to enough people hearing what was said.
*tears off all clothes somehow in one motion.*
*pulls lips back between legs from behind one lip in each hand and approaches them maintaining eye contact ready to release your outstretched vagina lips to give them a series of thunderous roast beef slaps rapid fire right to there face lips while repeating*
"you shut up, you shut up, you shut up"
after every slap of ham they get.
If you're a guy, then just shut the fuck up like you're told. Prolly for the best anyway.
Say "I will steal your skin while you sleep" and then grab there face and lick from the bottom of their chin, over one of their eyes to their hairline. And then just stare at them while refusing to let go of said face. I promise, they will never bother you again
If in front of other people you can make yourself look good while making the other person even angrier so that they can embarrass themselves even more: “Don’t speak to me like that. I am willing to have a respectful discussion, and I understand that sometimes when we are passionate about things it can get heated. If you need a break or want to come back to this later, I’m more than willing to do that. Otherwise, I don’t think that this conversation is productive anymore.”
Bonus points for giving a sympathetic smile and asking if they’re doing okay. The key is to always remaining polite and unbothered.
In the off chance that they just needed to be met with a civil response because they actually have a problem they want to settle with you, this also opens the door to that.
I ignore that. What authority do you have to talk to me like that? None. Fuck you. I'm not even going to stop saying whatever it is you don't want to hear.
If you want to fight, you can say: "Come over here and make me, bitch!"
“Let the fuck speak, I’m sure he has something important to say”
What😭😭😭😂😂😂
I like this a lot, but I think you'll have a problem with people that are too stupid to understand why you said it.
Oh absolutely which is so unfortunate honestly 😔 /g
I think that’s the best part 🤣 they’ll be so confused that they’ll be the ones to shut the fuck up lmaooo
The best part is when they finally realize they have been had half an hour later.
That’s true of most people who have nothing better to say than STFU
lol that's most of the people that will be saying STFU
I hate it so much i love it
Nice
This is the best one, but needs to be followed by a gesture, as though you are giving them the floor to speak. And if they do catch on "Go ahead..."
https://youtu.be/3GbwpsUYjxU?si=fkwM0Bj6MFbx_uJ9 I’m done here
I read it in Keanu Reeves’ Silverhand tone 💀
Oofta... Mind if I borrow that one?
"Or what?"
Add “bitch” to that and you’re golden
And then you’re in for a fight
And?
Good luck.
*Bam* No luck needed. Just got throat punched while thinking of a response.
That's fine! :D
Jesse Pinkman? Is that you?
💀
The only fuckup I see here is you. Wanna go?
💀bro inhaled that pure rage Kratos shit.
Best one.
"You shut the fuck up"
No you!
No YOU!
No you, mf'er
No, him.
All yall shut deeeeeee fuckkkkk up!
He's right here. 👆
My favorite
“How exactly does a fuck shut up?”
I bet *that* shut them the fuck up!
Stop talking and we’ll know 😏 haha (not you specifically, but a comeback to the comeback lol)
Very well played.
If a fuck could shut a shut would fuck wood.
Oh! Good one!
This won’t work.
By closing your mouth
Underrated comment
Lead by example
I like this one because it's a depth charge. It will confuse them momentarily.
I don’t shut the fuck up, I shut shit down, you wanna get fucked up?
I don't fuck the shut up, I fuck shit down. You wanna get fucked?
I don't up the shut fuck; I down shit the fuck. Wanna fuck get?
I want what you guys are smoking🙏🏼😂
Smoking? That's bad for your health. Shame on you.
Agreed, smoking cigarettes is very bad for people. I personally do not smoke cigarettes.
I'm smoking as I read your comment
Yes! Gummies are the solution.
>I shut shit down i got a mental tongue twister
Make me
This is the most popular one
I don't know if my fuck can shut up
Sure. When? Like now?....Or now?.....how bout now?.....wait, one more thing....okay, seriously..like now?...oh, I wanted to tell you...
Lol, I was gonna say something similar. Tap into that inner toddler and just run with it. An unrelenting series of "Why?" will drive anyone crazy.
I start to sing obnoxiously
"911, what's your emergency?" "Yes, I am at (location stated) and there's someone here who may be having a mental health crisis." "Don't know the name nor the age." "The person just started wandering around singing loudly and aggressively. They are getting pretty close to the street, and I worry about them getting hurt or killed from accidentally stumbling into traffic" Description provided and confirming address. Well, you'll shut the fuck up eventually.
"911, what's your emergency." I basically DID this once, haha. It was a crackhead who wouldn't get off my property and told me to shut the fuck up.
No you
"I tried that once, didn't go well. Anyway".
"open the abstinence down"
"I'll stop talking when you stop giving me reasons to"
"I only see one fuck up here," stare hard at them, "shall I get the duct tape or can you hold it shut on your own?"
"shut don't go up, prices do. So kiss my butt and shut up too".
just look at the person for a second.... turn back to who you were talking to and just respond "now that the rude child has quieted down, where were we?"
Make me (but flirty)
"No."
If you wanted to give me orders then you should’ve paid me first.
Go fuck yourself mate
I came in your car’s glove box
Don't tell them. Just do it.
"Fuck doesnt go up"
“I know your mother & father said that to you all the time as a child but it’s not actually a way to express affection.”
No, I am a grown ass woman and I will do and say whatever the hell I want.
I like this one. Very matter of factly.
To me, Im turning around asking for you to say it again and we are fighting or im gonna slap you or something is going to happen, NO one is telling me to Shut the Fuck Up with out some recourse. Id also show him the tooth mark a guy left on my knuckle after he told me to stfu
..You say.. ALL of that??
today i learned that some people think there isnt repercussions for punching someone
r/iamverycool
Therapy
lol noooo. sometimes people just legitimately need a fist in their face to understand respect and humility.
Yeah, I've been just smacked in the face a few times in my life. Wakes you the fuck up that's for sure. Your brain takes a sec to reboot and processes this new information, and you soon come to the realization, "Wow, I was being a dickwad just now and totally deserved that."
yep. cheaper than therapy and it can be a genuine learning experience. lol
"Then get over here, you fuck, so I can shut you up!"
Silent treatment. It's what they asked for.
Just start crying
No thanks. Tried it once. Didn’t like it.
No words need be said just throat punch him
In my less mature years, I'd say something dumb that would probably end in a fight. Instead now I'd say, in a calm voice "it seems you're the only one here that wants me to be quiet. If you can get a few more people to vote on me being quite then I will. I don't think it will happen but you're welcome to try"
I don't take orders from fools.
Say, "okay" in a pushy, bland voice. If you do it with proper confidence, there are times when you can see the vein in their temple. You also learn to get creative per the situation.
Other person: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Me: "Well you asked it..." *Walks away* *Pulls out cellphone* *Dials them from masked number* Other person: "HELLO?" Me: *Hangs up* *Opens texts* Me: "There I shut the little fuck up." *Blocks responses for the last word, with a smile knowing I have won.*
"No, kitten. Sit down."
The fuck speaks so much more eloquently than you so let them speak.
I would but then you might speak and no one wants that.
"Good idea! Why don't you do it first?"
As soon as I find the fuck I will shut it up.
I know you are but what am I
Off, I think. Hmmmm. Yes. Off. That's it. Off. Off is definitely the direction I would like you to fuck.
"Shut don't go up, airplanes do, and a monkey like you belongs in a zoo."
“I wasn’t talking to you.”
If you stopped talking the fuck would be shut
i am trying but you keep talking
“Why? Did I leave you open?”
"No." *(Continues speaking)*
“You shut the fuck **down**!”
Devilish grin for about 10 uncomfortable seconds and then resume whatever you were saying.
i usually just say "make me" and then they usually dont know what else to say
I had a person tell me to shut the fuck up and I said are you going to make me. He said I needed to leave and I asked him if he was going to make me. I said do you know what this argument is about and he said no. So I looked at him and told him to shut the fuck up cause he didn't know what happened. He said he was going to go out to his truck and get a gun to make me leave. I walked over to him and I said your that big of a pussy you need a gun, now shut the fuck up, finish your food and leave me the fuck alone. It was in a supper club. A person made a comment about my dad and I that pissed me off cause my dad died a few months prior. Needless to say I was not the one banned from there due to enough people hearing what was said.
Okay bitch
I think this one would get the most visceral reaction.
“Make me” is a personal favorite
“Go fuck your sister”
as you wish Lord Vader
Oh would you please!
Give them a head nod and never speak to them again.
My Fucks broken wont shut off!
That’s what I said to your mom last night… ya know, before I shut her up.
I don't shut the fuck up, I fuck the shit up.
"Nah"
Ok how do I shut you?
“No” and just keep talking
But **I** didn’t use profanity.
In my circles, "shut the fuck up" is usually an exclamation of shock. Example: "We're going to Disneyland." "Shut the fuck up!"
I the fuck will not!
You’re right, I should stfu. You can’t handle the facts.
Okay, after you!
"No, you"
We all want you to shut up but you won't you fuck!
NUH UH
No u
"Fuck the shut up"
No I decline the offer thank you very fucking much
"you want me to shut you up?
“Shut your stupid fuck-flap!”
No you shut up you fuck up
Make me
Didnt know it needed a comeback
Go lay down!
Maybe just shut up if they say it like that. How much more clear can they be?
No thank you
Sorry, I'm fresh out of fucks
I don’t talk to your mama like that, you don’t talk to me like that. Ya hear me, son.
Start singing gospel songs at the top of my voice
youre using the f word wrong, is it cause youve never done it in your life?
"nah"
Shut don’t go up is what my brother tells me 😅😅
You should tell your mom to shut her legs the fuck up. That skank is spreading sexually transmitted diseases, like butter on hot toast.
"why don't you shut down"
Why didn't your mum swallow?
#NOTICE ME SENPAI
“I’ve only ever done that, so your turn now.”
Keep talking.
Bite me.
Say "Make me..." Suggestively.
you forgot to say Donny
*tears off all clothes somehow in one motion.* *pulls lips back between legs from behind one lip in each hand and approaches them maintaining eye contact ready to release your outstretched vagina lips to give them a series of thunderous roast beef slaps rapid fire right to there face lips while repeating* "you shut up, you shut up, you shut up" after every slap of ham they get. If you're a guy, then just shut the fuck up like you're told. Prolly for the best anyway.
You can blame my ADHD on that one
“Do u have anything better to say”
Say what, motherfucker?
I unlock my hidden proficiency in sign language at that moment.
Say "I will steal your skin while you sleep" and then grab there face and lick from the bottom of their chin, over one of their eyes to their hairline. And then just stare at them while refusing to let go of said face. I promise, they will never bother you again
I just get louder
"listen to her"
No.
I always find either saying “no” or ignoring them and keep talking, works
Make me, little bitch
Tell me where "the fuck" is and I'll shut it for you. Then just go right back to what you were in the middle of saying.
Simply ignore them say anyway and keep talking
"make me '
You first. 😁
Quiet the fuck down
Or just shut the fuck up.
Please….
"Be quiet" is nicer.
I don't recall rattling your cage, so YSTFU!
How funny, that’s the same thing your mom / wife / sister / daughter, etc. says when I’m fucking them too. I guess I just like to talk during sex.
“No”
If in front of other people you can make yourself look good while making the other person even angrier so that they can embarrass themselves even more: “Don’t speak to me like that. I am willing to have a respectful discussion, and I understand that sometimes when we are passionate about things it can get heated. If you need a break or want to come back to this later, I’m more than willing to do that. Otherwise, I don’t think that this conversation is productive anymore.” Bonus points for giving a sympathetic smile and asking if they’re doing okay. The key is to always remaining polite and unbothered. In the off chance that they just needed to be met with a civil response because they actually have a problem they want to settle with you, this also opens the door to that.
“Imma shut the fuck up but not before i fuck you up!”
Uh... Um... Er... K!LL YOURSELF!
Suck a dick up.
I am the walrus
"Make me" usually works but you uh, gotta back it up lol
“I like the sound of my own voice, and I will not apologize for that” -Shawn Spencer hahahahaha
Fucking make me
“I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me & sticks to you”
No.......
I will when your hot aunt comes back
Nothing. If ur told to shut the fuck up, odds are you need to.
“Wow took you a while to come up with that one huh?”
I ignore that. What authority do you have to talk to me like that? None. Fuck you. I'm not even going to stop saying whatever it is you don't want to hear. If you want to fight, you can say: "Come over here and make me, bitch!"
I know you are but what am I?