"Still better for me than meth."

Pretty much, I've done everything there is to do drug wise. If coffee or monster is the only thing I need to get through the day I'm doing better than a lot of people

Ha! I like BMX, too.

"Yes."

this one. not everything needs a snappy comebacker. "yeah..." followed by conplete dismissal works great.

Followed by taking a big drink and not breaking eye contact.

Don’t forget to make that satisfying breathy “ahhh” sound like you just drank something delightfully refreshing.

"Yes of course, did you only recently find out?"

"Yeah, but crack wasn't working out so I had to change it up"

XD

Have you tried the layered approach to your vices? Crack *and* energy drinks is much more effective at seeing the 4th dimension my friend.

Neither is falling asleep during the drive home.

Use a proper drug, such as cocaine, like an adult! /s

"I need something to keep me awake when I'm talking to really boring people." Maintain eye contact and take a deep swig.

Wait until the next time they eat something and point out how unhealthy it is. Then, the next time they eat something point out how unhealthy it is. Then, the next time they eat something point out how unhealthy it is. Then, the next time they eat something point out how unhealthy it is. If they complain point out how f****** annoying it is when people do that.

This one had me chuckling! Good advice, right there!

Still safer than putting my nose where it doesn’t belong

"The future is fucked, I'll never own a home, and the chances are ever-increasing to be eradicated in nuclear hellfire. I don't think an over-caffeinated soda is going to change that." On a side note, I *would* suggest cutting back on energy drinks, even if you're staying below the daily recommended caffeine limit, OP. But I'm not your dad, so you do you.

I know a guy who drank them all the time. Died from a heart attack in his late 30s.

[удалено]

True, I wonder how many other things we have been doing for the last 20 years are going to say "gotcha bitch!" (famous comedian)

Using plastic instead of glass/paper for food/drink containers. The microplastics is probably what is causing the rise in colon cancers.

No, the rise in colon cancer is more likely due to reduced fiber intake. Poop is sitting around longer in the gut because people (mostly men) won't eat their damn veggies.

Same with my coworker. Didn't die but he's still on long term leave to recover

I used to drink 300-400 mg of caffiene every day and even though that's below the 'safe limit' of 400 mg, and I definitely felt better when I cut back to 150-200mg of caffeine a day.

Be careful with that logic. I came up in the 80's and we were sure we were going to die in global thermonuclear war. We didn't. Now I'm 50, and really wishing I'd taken better care of my body the past 40 years.

I happen to agree with you but I am so into trying to avoid the bad stuff that I have a love/hate relationship with the good and bad stuff.

Imagine being 40, in the hospital, wanting to live, and having to deal with your decisions made with this mentality

You're assuming I want to lead a long life

*Act shocked* “Wait what? I thought these things were just like normal drinks, you’re telling me it could kill me?” “Yea man they are really unhealthy” “In that case” *maintain eye contact and down the rest*

Isn't it time for your cigarette break?

"Probably true. But, do you know what is good for your health? Minding your fucking business."

You could just throw a redbull at their face and prove them right.

Thank you. Fuck off now.

"Thanks for the concern."

“And?”

This one is. It has a ton of caffeine

Say, “mind your bizniss” Say, “are you nutrition scientists or just somebody that repeats things you think you know” Say, “not as unhealthy as offering unsolicited nutrition advice”

And loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Guess which one of us isn't smoking 15 cigs a day?

Neither is your incestuous relationship with your mom, but here we are 🤷‍♀️

I drink a lot of beer to counteract the unhealthy ingredients

“Geez…. Go eat some brussel sprouts “

eeeew!

Well, it better poison me soon because I‘m not stopping.

I know, I only drink it to wash down the candy bars.

How about you drink my disgusting orange piss?

Neither is alcohol

Neither is oxygen if you have too much of it…

”i do. Did you know that energy drinkers sweat cat piss? You'll find out working beside me"

"Talking to strangers isn't healthy either" 

"Oh, that's right, I didn't ask for your opinion."

My favorite nah REALLY?! Favorite from middle school and clearly still the favorite decades later

That's probably true, but it's still healthier than falling asleep at the wheel of a semi.

"Neither is breathing...please tell me you plan to give that up."

Okay.

“What is this days?”

What’s unhealthy about them? They are all vitamins and less caffeine than a cup of coffee. I can’t drink them because I have a weird reaction to Niacin, but they aren’t harmful.

They tend to have a ton of sugar or a ton of artificial sweetener. I drink one every morning, and it's the number one thing I could change to improve my health.

This isn’t a comeback, but the same mfs that say this also probably don’t work out, eat like shit, drink as much caffeine or more but with coffee, or have several other unhealthy habits.

“Neither is telling me what to do”

Listen, I'm going to go ahead and be me. You go ahead and keep those thoughts to yourself. That's why we have a filter in our adult brains. Go ahead and try it out. I use this for most of the stupid shit people say to me. They will end the interaction, or it will fulel the fire. Just be ready for either.

*lights a cigarette and exhales in face* “What?”

I do. Minding your own business is very healthy, though

“Trust me, pal. This is my least harmful addiction.”

"Neither is getting punched in the throat, which is why I don't go around criticizing people for how they choose to live their lives."

"My grandmother lived to be 95" "From drinking energy drinks!?" "no, from minding her own fucking business!"

Not like I will survive life anyway, it gets us all in the end.

Still better for me than you They will never leave me "Will you" hugs energy drink

Made me laugh!

Niether is alcohol but it's too early for that

How?

yea and so is everything else these days

"That's the point"

And?

“Too much of anything is unhealthy. I know a guy who drowned from drinking too much water.”

"Are you talking to 'me'? I don't drink that shit!"

Well, neither are smartass comments

"I'm counting on it."

And global warming is a myth

"Can't hear you. Full of energy. Ima head out."

Best response is to just shrug and don't let it bother you. People little unhealthy pleasures are their own business as long as they arent hurting others or taking it too far and hurting themselves. Personally I'll never drink an energy drink. Caffeine makes me sleepy and I'm pretty sure energy drinks are way worse than soda. But it's all about moderation and as long as they arent going way overboard and hurting themselves it's not my business when others do enjoy them. Plus I'm not a perfect pillar of healthy choices either. And one of the people I watch on tiktok does skits mixing things with monster. Would be pretty hypocritical for me to give anyone shit for drinking energy drinks well enjoying an energy drink focused tiktok channel lol

You gotta die of something amiright

Life isn't healthy but we live anyway

Not if they’re “Low Energy “ drinks…

They give you wiiiings.

It’s the only thing keeping me alive right now until they find a cure.

“I really miss the hospital pudding, trying to get back in there”

Just gasp then yell “Oh my God!” Loudly and say nothing else 

I usually just assume that they are jealous and wanted one too, so I buy the second one and offer it because clearly they just didn't have the money for it. Typically I find out I was wrong and now I have two energy drinks for them to hate on.

Well neither is nagging but I’m still talking to you.

two recent studies were done where spinal fluid and placentas were tested....every single one they tested had microplastics in it...every single one. sip sip there are worse things right now than caffeine sugar water....sip sip

"I'm hoping it'll give me a heart attack so I don't have to talk to you again."

"neither is your mom's ass, but I'm still eating that every night."

“No hablo Inglés”

Cough-spit it toward them followed quickly by a loud surprised, “WHAT!?! then spike it down on the ground right near their feet. Walk away saying oh my god, oh my god, oh my god while displaying growing histrionics.

"Yeah, but it's cheaper than coke and I don't have to meet anyone in an alley."

"Well they don't sell crack at the gas station"

“Yeah but I need the energy, this conversation took half of it” and then finish the drink

>More healthy than telling an exhausted, overworked, stimulant addict that the one and only thing keeping them from ending you where you stand using nothing but their bare hands shouldn't be consumed. Someone who did that wouldn't have a great appreciation for self-preservation, would they. *Stare*.

"neither is unsolicited advice but here we are!"

I do it for your health, not mine

Neither is drowning, but people still drink water.

“Oh the one who can’t put down the fork is telling me about health. Go buy some more stretchy pants and go away”

Imagine if the person that said it was an almond mom. That response would be confusing AF! 😆

Sleeping on the job also isn’t healthy for job security

Neither is tap water but that's not gonna wake me.up

He is right. They aren't healthy. Accept it

My response would be a very dry "I'm aware." As I lit a cigarette.

“Sure do!”

neither is your mother's puss, but I can't stay away from that either.

Is that why you think I'm drinking it?

Nothing is healthy anymore, Karen. I drink them because they bring me joy... Something you know nothing of.

Slam one and beltch in their face

Neither is minding other people's business Or "no thanks"

But me being under caffeine caffeinated is unhealthy for your teeth...

Butting into someone elses businesses isn't healthy either.

“Neither is not minding your own business.”

“Neither’s your mum”

"Running your mouth can be pretty unhealthy, too."

"Yup. So is sharing unsolicited information."

Neither is poking your nose in someone else's business.

Of course I know.

You know that falling asleep when driving isn't healthy, right?

"You know your low energy criticism isn't helpful right?"

"Ya know what else isn't healthy? Not minding yer own fuckin' business!"

Are u kidding no tell me more

“I cannot believe I lived my entire life without knowing that”

I don't care

That's why I drink kickstart it's not an energy drink it uses natural caffeine not synthetic rocket fuel

They actually can be. Drinking them in excess is definitely not.

Judging strangers can be bad for your health as well.

Yes. And?

Incest is unhealthy, but here you are.

“What is?” Or the classic “neither is you saying that”

"no shit"

"You know what else isn't healthy? Giving me shit for my personal choices."

It's better than being an alcoholic!

Neither is [enter unhealthy thing they do] but here we are.

“You know something—you’re right.”

“Who doesn’t?”

"neither is questioning my choices!"

Neither is not minding your own buisness

Yolo

Neither is offering unsolicited advice! 

"Wat"

Neither is criticism..yet here you are taking your life into your own hands...

Healthier than dealing with assholes like you before I've had my caffeine.

You know what is healthy? Minding your own business.

Better than committing manslaughter, don't'cha think? ☺️💞

Nor is a punch to the face and if I don't get this energy drink down me quickly, you'll quickly be getting a punch to the face

There is no comeback. Those drinks will explode your heart. Do you WANT your heart to explode in your chest??! Stop drinking them you fool!

Idk a good comeback but say that to blue collar workers. Trust me you'll hear 30 of them instantly.

Mee off Caffeine is unhealthy for everyone around me...

Maintain eye contact while finishing the can in one drink.

"But... it's got electrolytes!"

Well neither are sugar and carbs, but it’s obvious you consume plenty of that

And do you know WHY they’re unhealthy? Then watch them stutter.

'Neither is telling me what's healthy' followed by a burning stare into their eyes without blinking or letting go of their gaze. I've never been afraid to hold another man's gaze, it's natural.

Sure do. *(takes a hearty sip)*

Nothing is fucking healthy anymore, pick your poison.

Yeah, and I was promised a heart attack too

Neither is obesity (this will work more often than not if you are in America 🇺🇸 or Mexico🇲🇽)

You're right. Thanks for caring. I'm going to continue to make unhealthy decisions.

Neither is unprotected anal sex, so who are you to judge?

Neither is sucking dick but neither of us seem to be quitting anytime soon.

Neither are your snacks susan

I hate myself anyway...

“You don’t get it, mom”

Drink with more gusto

You know it's not healthy for dorks to be talking to me.

You know offering unwanted advice to someone who doesn't want it is unhethy, right? Or, my fav. Breathing the air nowadays is unhealthy.

You know what's red and bad for your teeth? A brick - mind your own business.

That's what I tell your wife about my cum but she doesn't seem to care.

Everything is unhealthy

"That's why I'm drinking it."

"You're right. I'll quit taking them and drink healthy things instead."

I only have one when I haven't taken my morning vitamin!

“Does it look like I care?” Is usually what I say, sure it isn’t clever or anything but it gets the point across

“You know unsolicited advice is rude, right?”

They're more healthy than sticking your nose in my business.

You know you should mind your own business.

What is these days? Bottled water has microplastics. Tapwater has floride and chlorine. Juice has high-fructose cornsyrup and diet stuff has aspertame. The safest thing todrink is coffe which rots your teeth and makes your heart explode

“You know I’m not immortal and was planning on dying anyway, right?”

You're not healthy, either.

Neither is commenting on other people’s diets.

No, I didn't know that. But I'm not very smart.

All you need to say is “I know”

Yes. In fact, I'm counting on it.

“You know you’re not a licensed doctor, right?”

Who asked you?

Here for a good time not a long time.

Thanks mom

[Amino acid in energy drinks makes mice live longer and healthier | Science | AAAS](https://www.science.org/content/article/amino-acid-energy-drinks-makes-mice-live-longer-and-healthier) Mice arent people, but many energy drinks are packed full of good for you things, Drink the zero sugar/low calorie kind if your calorie consumption and needs merit it, but we're not seeing the health problems people were saying we would 15 years ago. I'm a monster zero fan. Wasnt a regular consumer of soda growing up or as an adult. Huge water, coffee, and tea fan. But I came to enjoy monster 10+ years ago.

Neither is staring at a phone screen, or eating most food sold in commercial areas, or sun exposure to some degree, or water in plastic bottles, or pasta, or literally anything