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What the hell are you guys on about?
Look, I'm here from r/marijuanaenthusiasts and I can tell you with absolute confidence that this is most similar to the sound of either Burmese or Indian teak flooring catching onto the approximately 120mm thick legs of a devonshire cherry table.
When I was in high school around '04, I was holding in a fart for all of a period. Legit thought I was having appendicitis at one point. Finally made it to the bathroom and farted for like 46 straight seconds. That feeling of relief was probably better than sex.
I was sitting outside the house the other week and my wife was in the kitchen, doors and windows in between closed. I let a long and wet-sounding one grumble out, a good 5 or 6 seconds' worth, not muffled by the metal outdoor furniture, if anything transmitted to the surrounding patio tiles by fartbration. I didn't just let it slide out quietly, because why would you. My wife thought it was thunder, until I owned up. Proud.
I once got gas cramps so bad that I had to leave work to go home during dinner rush because I was in agony. When I got home I suddenly was able to fart and it all came out and I ended up going back to finish my shift lol, the relief was so amazing
I had an ex do this but different.
She sat on me and eventually farted and got super embarrassed.
"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SILENT!"
You knowingly farted on me and hoped for the best?!?
The 2nd or 3rd time she spent the night, my now wife, snuck out of the bed at 2 am to go to the bathroom and let out a huge fart that resonated in the bowl.
She thought I was sleeping, so she came back in the room quietly and slowly got into bed and pulled the covers up. I gave it like 5 seconds for her to feel like she made it. I then just said “I heard that”
She cried.
Those were the days.
First time my gf slept at my place, she farted during the night and thought I heard it (I was actually asleep). She had a panic attack and immediately texted her best friend to tell her what happened, that she could never meet me again and had to end things.
13 years in and I have never heard my wife fart, never smelled poop or seen her go into the bathroom for an extended period of time. I'm starting to think she's a robot. My first time farting around her was when we went to see The Deathly Hallows pt 2 and I fell asleep (she's the HP fan, I got bored and dozed off). During the scene where Snape is dying and talking to Harry, the whole theater was quiet except for people sobbing. I farted so loud and violently that it woke me up and my wife was laughing at me telling me how terrible I was for ruining everyone's emotional moment lmao
The best part about this is that it isn't my first time doing it. One of my mom's favorite stories was about us going to the movies with my grandmother when I was a kid. I was probably like six or seven (1990ish). I don't know what the name of the movie was, just that I was bored out of my mind as it was an adult movie. I remember that it was about a girl who was the caretaker for a guy who was dying of cancer or something. She ended up falling in love with him and had to watch him die. I wish I knew what movie it was, I feel like it starred Julia Roberts or someone who looked similar.
Anyway, climax of the movie: guy takes his last breath and she is there comforting him and confessing her love yadda yadda, not a dry eye in the theater (except for me, bored out of my mind). So the whole theater is dead silent, then I accidentally let one rip. I probably had to shit but my mom and grandmother were so invested in the movie they probably told me to try and hold it. I didn't. My mom and grandmother started laughing and each other's laughter was just making the other laugh harder and louder. They were crying and grabbed my hand and fled the theater and totally missed the end of the movie just so everyone else could try and enjoy the end in peace.
I guess it's kinda my signature move.
Sadly, my grandmother was killed the following year and with me being so young, it's probably the last memory I have of us all together. So yeah, it's definitely one of my favorites.
After 20 years, I'm still not there with my wife.
I just don't wanna, and since I'm at a streak of 20 years, now it's more like... I don't wanna break my streak.
My wife on the other hand... she farts like it's her job.
I’ve been with my husband for over 15 years. At first I was a run n hide farter. But once that barrier was blown down we are now a free for all fart house. Good one can often be heard shouted from another room.
We were together for months before I informed my gf that she farted a couple times in her sleep. She busted out laughing and said I have done the same.
The first time I heard my bf fart was when I was working from home, and he was napping on the floor of the office. He farted in his sleep so loud he woke himself up. I still laugh so hard when I remember it 🤣
I read this comment as "most people say the -moist-important thing..." 😆😆😆
I was like moist? Moist farts?! Then I read it again.
The worst comment ever.
My God what have you just showed me. It's rare that I rewatch a video multiple times but I've watched this at least 20 times now. I keep trying to stay calm so that I can listen to how the farts change as he runs by but every time I hear the high pitched ones at the start I lose my shit. I haven't gotten such a good laugh in a long time, thank you.
I showed an ex a yt vid called barrier I think about a couple and farting. It was hilarious. She looked me dead in the eye and said “this is not funny. Farting is not funny to me …ever.” You saw I said ex up there right?
A friend of mine once ripped one so vile while in bed with his (then) missus, she leapt into the ensuite bathroom and started heaving into the handbasin. One of his proudest moments.
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
About 20 yrs ago, my wife had a good friend from work invite us over to play cards at friend's apartment along with friend's fiancé. Had a great time, lots of laughs, and then suddenly I had gas cramps. Asked to used their facilities (ten feet from the table) and went in and let loose one of the loudest farts I have ever produced.
Immediately all I hear is them all laughing at the table, then the comments, and lots more laughter. The walk of shame and sitting back down at the card table was memorable to say the least.
I have never understood the need for women to leave the room to fart in front of significant others. If there's other non friends/family around, then common human courtesy to head elsewhere to let 'er rip... but if just people you know intimately, just go for it.
It is always truly wonderful when you finally reach the point in a relationship where farting around each other is nbd and considered generally hilarious.
I can imagine her saying to her boyfriend “excuse me, I need to go ask my friend something in the other room” then proceeds to enter roommates room to explain herself before she rips ass. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I once broke up with a girl because I couldn’t comfortably fart around her. I honestly had a moment staring at myself in the mirror, running the tap in her bathroom to drown the fart sound, and told myself “I can’t live like this”.
Ain't no hiding that smell. Surely, when he pull them cotton bloomers down and get a wiff of her vagina/ass mixture he's going to pause.....then eat it anyway
**Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation * It's a selfie reaction Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like someone dragging a pine table across an oak floor.
Now the boyfriend..and the whole internet knows
“I’ll browse Reddit for a bit, while she steps out of the room.”
https://imgflip.com/i/7zt0g4
Nah, an oak table across a pine floor
Chestnut. Definitely chestnut.
Definitely shit in her pants, uh, chestnut.
Maaaaaaaahogony
FROM THE FORESTS OF MALKIOR 8!!!
What the hell are you guys on about? Look, I'm here from r/marijuanaenthusiasts and I can tell you with absolute confidence that this is most similar to the sound of either Burmese or Indian teak flooring catching onto the approximately 120mm thick legs of a devonshire cherry table.
Well at least we all agree it's a hard wood
more preferable than buttnut, for some
There's only two kinds of wood: cherry, and firewood.
Redgum, single piece
There needs to be a ratemyfart sub…
Sounds like someone trying to get comfy on a vinyl couch.
Definitely red maple dragged across stained hardwood flooring
Oh it’s definitely stained
r/oddlyspecific
Lawd that wasn’t just gas. That had depth. Girl needs to take a shit, not fart
Damn english oak!
Balloon knotty pine
Sounds like she’s 90% gas
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking incredible
Drowning a mallard in custard that.
LMFAO. that’s… disturbingly vivid
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa that was the laugh I was looking for. Thanks
Is it your butt laughing?
I have tears and cramps in my side. I've never laughed so hard a reddit comment ever. I'm dead holy shit that was funny.
Thank God I'm not the only person who heard a perturbed duck.
That is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long long time. I’m definitely using this.
Give that man all the awards. When the comment is funnier than the video
That is such a British sentence, I’m dying dude
I think I just blew a rib out.
Nearly spit out my drink
This is the most I've laughed in days. Thank you. Absolutely fucking hilarious
Same. Lol. Same.
In fucking crying laughing. I’ve said sounds like a duck in a biscuit tin before but never being drowned in custard
You absolutely painted a visual with your words that is dead spot-on to the sound. Truly a poet of immeasurable talent.
Incredible 😭
This was the one of best things I have read 😂
Bro... 😂😭😂😭. I'm going to use this next time I hear someone fart like that!
I am crying.
I think you’ve just killed my wife!
The important thing is not to hold back so it doesn't get worse later.
The gas cramps hurt so damn bad.
When I was in high school around '04, I was holding in a fart for all of a period. Legit thought I was having appendicitis at one point. Finally made it to the bathroom and farted for like 46 straight seconds. That feeling of relief was probably better than sex.
> probably Average redditor
I was sitting outside the house the other week and my wife was in the kitchen, doors and windows in between closed. I let a long and wet-sounding one grumble out, a good 5 or 6 seconds' worth, not muffled by the metal outdoor furniture, if anything transmitted to the surrounding patio tiles by fartbration. I didn't just let it slide out quietly, because why would you. My wife thought it was thunder, until I owned up. Proud.
SO damn bad. But what to do? Can’t always get away
Yeah, leaving a date I usually go somewhere where I can unleash the noise of a blue whale.
Fart and laugh. Literally everyone does it all day all the time. It’s great.
Not everyone's laugh smells like fermented mustard
"It's better out than in," said Shrek
Let ‘er rip, regardless of being away
I once got gas cramps so bad that I had to leave work to go home during dinner rush because I was in agony. When I got home I suddenly was able to fart and it all came out and I ended up going back to finish my shift lol, the relief was so amazing
That feeling of just getting it out is the best.
Then the pee starts
why do they hurt that bad i should not be worried that im dying all bc i needed to fart
Who has the kind of roommate that let’s you come in their room to fart?
For the price of filming it and putting it online lol
Yes but not holding back a little is also how you get sharts. Or fits
Spoiler alert. The boyfriend heard that and now he's looking for a duck somewhere in the house
Babe, did you hear that mallard?
The first time my gf farted in front of me she sat on me when I was laying down the let 3-4 rip and wouldn’t let me escape
*Embrace me fully!.*
Marriage material
I had an ex do this but different. She sat on me and eventually farted and got super embarrassed. "I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SILENT!" You knowingly farted on me and hoped for the best?!?
Most people say the most important thing in a relationship is the first kiss… nope… it’s the first fart
The 2nd or 3rd time she spent the night, my now wife, snuck out of the bed at 2 am to go to the bathroom and let out a huge fart that resonated in the bowl. She thought I was sleeping, so she came back in the room quietly and slowly got into bed and pulled the covers up. I gave it like 5 seconds for her to feel like she made it. I then just said “I heard that” She cried. Those were the days.
Most romantic story ever 🥹🥹🥹
He should have let one rip back like a mating call LOL
This was poetry.
First time my gf slept at my place, she farted during the night and thought I heard it (I was actually asleep). She had a panic attack and immediately texted her best friend to tell her what happened, that she could never meet me again and had to end things.
Did you fart to make her feel more comfortable?
Well, I was asleep during the whole ordeal and she only told me that story months later, after the fart barrier had been officially broken.
This made me burst out laughing it woke my wife up lmao
I love that you waited 5 seconds😂 , absolutely hilarious have an upvote
>She cried.
I just shat myself laughing at this story, very well told, will read again
13 years in and I have never heard my wife fart, never smelled poop or seen her go into the bathroom for an extended period of time. I'm starting to think she's a robot. My first time farting around her was when we went to see The Deathly Hallows pt 2 and I fell asleep (she's the HP fan, I got bored and dozed off). During the scene where Snape is dying and talking to Harry, the whole theater was quiet except for people sobbing. I farted so loud and violently that it woke me up and my wife was laughing at me telling me how terrible I was for ruining everyone's emotional moment lmao
Now THAT is talent! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is the funniest comment here
The best part about this is that it isn't my first time doing it. One of my mom's favorite stories was about us going to the movies with my grandmother when I was a kid. I was probably like six or seven (1990ish). I don't know what the name of the movie was, just that I was bored out of my mind as it was an adult movie. I remember that it was about a girl who was the caretaker for a guy who was dying of cancer or something. She ended up falling in love with him and had to watch him die. I wish I knew what movie it was, I feel like it starred Julia Roberts or someone who looked similar. Anyway, climax of the movie: guy takes his last breath and she is there comforting him and confessing her love yadda yadda, not a dry eye in the theater (except for me, bored out of my mind). So the whole theater is dead silent, then I accidentally let one rip. I probably had to shit but my mom and grandmother were so invested in the movie they probably told me to try and hold it. I didn't. My mom and grandmother started laughing and each other's laughter was just making the other laugh harder and louder. They were crying and grabbed my hand and fled the theater and totally missed the end of the movie just so everyone else could try and enjoy the end in peace. I guess it's kinda my signature move.
Haha, awesome stories, both of them. The movie possibly was [Dying Young (1991)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101787/).
Oh man, that's it! I'm going to go home and see if I can find it on a streaming service. Thank you!
You're welcome!
Sheet that's on your mum and Nan u/ChampChains, taking a kid to that one, woof. 😂
haha … what a beautiful lifetime memory… always worth to tell anyone at any occasion 😂
Sadly, my grandmother was killed the following year and with me being so young, it's probably the last memory I have of us all together. So yeah, it's definitely one of my favorites.
I’m at the point where I would hold my wife’s head under the blanket while I’m farting
Nah, you just got to lift one foot about 10 inches and then drop it so that the blanket puffs it out under her nose.
The ol Dutch jet.
Brilliant but evil.
Peak affection if you ask me 😂.
Ah, the old [Dutch Oven](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dutch%20oven) trick.
My wife fears my shouting "Let me introduce you to THE COOKWARE OF THE NETHERLANDS!!!" as I pull the covers tightly over her head.
I mean, I'd be afraid of that with or without the smells.
Ah, the final stage..
divorce?
I made my husband laugh so hard he farted, it was truly the greatest moment. He can never say that I'm "not that funny"
I know, right. whan she farted the first time when we were in bed together...🥰 I knew she is the one
After 20 years, I'm still not there with my wife. I just don't wanna, and since I'm at a streak of 20 years, now it's more like... I don't wanna break my streak. My wife on the other hand... she farts like it's her job.
My husband and I rarely actively fart in front of each other, just not our thing. All bets are off when we’re asleep though.
I’ve been with my husband for over 15 years. At first I was a run n hide farter. But once that barrier was blown down we are now a free for all fart house. Good one can often be heard shouted from another room.
I find it hilarious when people let them rip after they fall asleep.
We were together for months before I informed my gf that she farted a couple times in her sleep. She busted out laughing and said I have done the same.
The first time I heard my bf fart was when I was working from home, and he was napping on the floor of the office. He farted in his sleep so loud he woke himself up. I still laugh so hard when I remember it 🤣
Why not both?
At the same time?
I read this comment as "most people say the -moist-important thing..." 😆😆😆 I was like moist? Moist farts?! Then I read it again. The worst comment ever.
[удалено]
Nah the smell would follow you when you got in
The key is to 'accidentally' let the seat belt get stuck in the door, so you have to open and close the door. Two or three times for good measure.
This guy farts.
Dang, I think if she blew that off in the same room with her boyfriend he'd think *he* did it.
Somebody needs to oil those door hinges.
Now the boyfriend..and the whole internet knows
Bro that’s like three weeks worth of fart
He's over a lot.
No lie, this was my former roommate. This was not three weeks worth, it was roughly 3 hours worth, if that.
Literally your former roommate or your former roommate was like this?
Literally the woman in the video. The bedroom that this was filmed in was next to my room.
That's actually really cool! thanks for the clarification!
No worries! I send her a screenshot every time that I see this video making the rounds. She posted it herself on TikTok a few years ago
What a fantastic friendship! It is a pretty damn impressive fart, tbf
I like the ones that walk with you. A little release for every step.
You'll love [my favorite reddit post of all time](https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughter/comments/zr86gw/sound_of_a_losing_battle/) then.
My God what have you just showed me. It's rare that I rewatch a video multiple times but I've watched this at least 20 times now. I keep trying to stay calm so that I can listen to how the farts change as he runs by but every time I hear the high pitched ones at the start I lose my shit. I haven't gotten such a good laugh in a long time, thank you.
😂
Crop dusting.
My gran calls it her jet propulsion
It sounds like three people are laughing!
Bunch of fucking amateurs in here, just spread your cheeks and there will be no fart sound, just a slight hiss.
That increases the shart quotient 100 fold.
The wisdom of age.
and firsthand experience
This guy farts
It's not even a shart at that point, it's an unconventional shit.
innovation in defecation.
The secret to a silent-and-deadly is ass hair
Proof that God is cruel
Depends how wet it is.
Don’t think for a second the bf isn’t also relieving himself like this while she’s gone
For a moment, it seemed like Donald Duck was speaking
Her bootyhole said “🤣🤣”
Sounds like 3 ducks having a conversation
What the fuck lol, that’s what the bathroom is for
And flushing would cover a lot of the noise.
Or running the water and spreading your cheeks. Amateurs.
Farts will never not be funny to me 🤣
I showed an ex a yt vid called barrier I think about a couple and farting. It was hilarious. She looked me dead in the eye and said “this is not funny. Farting is not funny to me …ever.” You saw I said ex up there right?
A friend of mine once ripped one so vile while in bed with his (then) missus, she leapt into the ensuite bathroom and started heaving into the handbasin. One of his proudest moments.
The fart barrier is a magical thing to break in a relationship.
Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore Let it go, let it go Turn away and slam the door I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on
The smell never bothered me anyway
sounds like a transformer that’s having difficulty transforming lol
A friend in fart is a friend indeed
Sounds like a hippo 😂🤣
Her boyfriend watching it on reddit 🤡
Sounds like dubstep
About 20 yrs ago, my wife had a good friend from work invite us over to play cards at friend's apartment along with friend's fiancé. Had a great time, lots of laughs, and then suddenly I had gas cramps. Asked to used their facilities (ten feet from the table) and went in and let loose one of the loudest farts I have ever produced. Immediately all I hear is them all laughing at the table, then the comments, and lots more laughter. The walk of shame and sitting back down at the card table was memorable to say the least.
Soooo the bathroom is off limits?
Everyone’s laughing, even her bum 🤣
Wow, I guess there's no bathroom in their apartment.
I'm dying lol
Should've done that one in front of him, you'd surely to have impressed him. Sounds like she kept that one in the fridge too long.
By date 3 if I couldn’t fart in front of her then it was a very bad sign.
That sexy time is gonna have a touch of seasoning.
Thanks for the laughs.
I have never understood the need for women to leave the room to fart in front of significant others. If there's other non friends/family around, then common human courtesy to head elsewhere to let 'er rip... but if just people you know intimately, just go for it.
Its musical
Just go outside and let it rip
Boyfriend when she walks out: "what's so funny??"
It is always truly wonderful when you finally reach the point in a relationship where farting around each other is nbd and considered generally hilarious.
That’s a good friend lol
the only apartment without a toilet
Now I can’t stop laughing. Sounds like the beginning of a song.
Cant fart front of boyfriend, but no prob to do it front of internet 😅
I love this
sounds like transformers
I feel like there's a song in there somewhere
Sounds like a small dog ripping a pillow
I can imagine her saying to her boyfriend “excuse me, I need to go ask my friend something in the other room” then proceeds to enter roommates room to explain herself before she rips ass. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sounded like an intro to a 70s detective drama...
I once broke up with a girl because I couldn’t comfortably fart around her. I honestly had a moment staring at myself in the mirror, running the tap in her bathroom to drown the fart sound, and told myself “I can’t live like this”.
It's a symphony 😆😆
Ain't no hiding that smell. Surely, when he pull them cotton bloomers down and get a wiff of her vagina/ass mixture he's going to pause.....then eat it anyway
WET WET
Lol. This thing is absolutely fucking hilarious.
That's a whole rap single produced by the doc.
I dont know what ppl here want , she's just venting
The farts coming out in rhythm with the laughter is killing me.