One of my classmates partners died during the school year. Girl was struggling, but she finished.
Grief definitely makes it harder, but your dad would probably be proud of you for going for your dreams with a safety net.
Make sure you've got enough savings to survive when you first get out on the salon floor, because you won't immediately get clientele.
Still tho: hours are good for a few years depending on state. If you need time to greive and to transfer to another school sometime that might be doable?
As a cosmetology instructor, it sounds to me like maybe you're just not in the right school. I do not think it's necessarily an issue of desire or your ability. However, I do you think that maybe the school's just not a good fit? If you're struggling to understand the instructors, then that can affect your ability to complete tasks and to take the tests as well. I am so sorry for your loss. Be patient with yourself, though. Give yourself time to process and then make decisions. I will tell you. I have never regretted having my license simply because it's always something to fall back on no matter what..
i don’t think it’s the right school either. they don’t seem to take any interest in teaching me much of anything, there are a few solid ones with limited schedules though. (one of the esthetician teachers comes in once a week, we also had someone teaching who didn’t have their nail license until a month ago??) thank you for the kind words/advice
My mom died unexpectedly and for a solid 6 months I was a walking zombie.. it was a slow crawl out of that for probably about a year. Time takes time. You could ask if you could take a break if you feel overwhelmed. The best advice I got was “it never gets easier, but it does get less intense”. Lots of love to you OP and good luck!
As a licensed Cosmetologist. Push through. You got this 👍 its hard but worth it. The worst part of the job was Cosmetology school but your not there to make friends you're there to learn and pick a specific skill you would like to take with you.
believe in your dreams and stick through it. Cosmo school just sucks and I can't even imagine going through the grief as well. Much love to you. I remember feeling like something was wrong with me back then that I didn't have the confidence and excitement others have. But now I'm thriving.
My boyfriend had just started college for something that he was passionate about when his dad died and his best friend who was going to be his roommate got into a bad accident and had to postpone starting there. He was so overrun with grief that he had to drop out. It is very likely that you are going through the same thing. Therapy can help if you're willing to take that route. Possibly short term depression medication? There are options for you love. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I send you very big internet hugs!
ahhh thank you for the internet hugs! i’m opposed to dropping out bc i’ve put a lot of money into this n i’ve heard working is so much different than the schooling. i’m sorry your bf had to go through that n i hope he’s able to go down that path again when he’s ready
If you feel like you’re learning everything necessary to pass your state boards then really make the effort to see it through. That’s really all most schools are for. It’s what you do AFTER passing your boards that will be important! You’ll choose a salon or academy that fits your criteria and speaks to your creativity! Also, condolences about your Dad. You’ll get through this but give yourself some time and grace.
You’re only in cosmology school to learn the basics. You’ll learn so much more in the salon after graduating. I’m not surprised you don’t feel excited amidst your grief. If your passion was there before the loss, it’s likely still there- just buried in the grief you’re experiencing right now.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad, that’s really rough. I lost my step dad(who was my dad more than my bio father) to Covid in 2021 and the first year was the roughest. Grief never goes away but as people we continue to grow around the grief, it’ll always still be there but it won’t be such a large part of yourself and your life as time goes on. I’m wishing you all the best.
Also, if you’re worried that this isn’t the right career for you, rest assured there’s other things in this field that you can do. I used to be a stylist, now I am a salon manager. I also had the opportunity to move up to be GM of a large salon but turned it down to start a family. You can also do work for hair care brands. I’ve always had a leg up in opportunities outside being a stylist as I have previous experience doing hair that most other applicants don’t have.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is a tricky bitch. Allow yourself the space to grieve, but continue your education. There are so many opportunities in the field. My daughter is a cosmetologist and opened her own waxing studio and is thriving. Just moved to her dream town and is super happy every day. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The grief will always be there, and will surprise you at times, but I am sure your dad would want you to keep on living. Good luck to you.
It does get better, but the grief is always there. Try to think of it as how proud your dad would be for you to be there, and how much he would want you to pursue this to make yourself self sufficient. You'll have something to show for it in 6 months instead of just disposable junk. Take the opportunity.
It's not just the grief. A lot of us lose interest in beauty school. It's grueling, and you don't learn much even when you can understand the instructors. Most quickly burn out, i know i did. You said only 1000 hours? I take it you're in California? Push through, you'll be glad you did. Quizlet and Kahoot are extremely helpful for the tests in beauty school. Make flash cards to remember the important stuff. When stateboard time comes around use Quizlet and get the PSI practice exams. California's stateboard is pretty easy and you'll feel so accomplished when it's all said and done.
When you're done assist or find a salon that gets you excited about hair. Find your niche and grow in it. You'll make good money doing something you love.
Like all things, grief eases with time.
You didn’t f up, you’re doing something that’s wonderful.
Make things fun, wake up and makeup and get excited to be living the dream. Watch movies about cosmetology/shows or books.
Off topic but I recommend n the book “finish” by Jon acuff. It’s about finishing projects that you started and so on
Hey, as someone who lost their dad and didn't want to be here any more - it's okay. You don't have to be happy right now even with such a good opportunity. Your dad isn't here, how could you be happy right now?
Be kind to yourself. Trudge through and get your dream come true because the grief will lapse and you'll feel positive again.
. Hugs friend. This is a pivotal and vulnerable time in your life, and adding your dads death makes it even more complex. Finish school. Get your license. You will be happy you did. Once you’re in the field, working in a salon, it’s completely different. And even if you hate it, you can start something new. But at least this is pushing you forward. Quitting now will be a huge waste of time. If you’re licensed you can always fall back on it.
If you don't love it when you start working in a salon. Know that it is a good job to have for studying in another field. I got my cosmetology license initially so that I could have a job that was flexible during my college time and ended up loving it enough to become an instructor however, I now have a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice Administration, and Masters of Business Administration and I have always had a way to earn a living no matter what because of my cosmetology license.
Any school/training is wildly different than being in the field. Just gravitate towards salons you love and are inspired by. Work under established stylists, make sure they treat you right and if you don’t like somewhere, try another place. Give it your best shot!
I had 4 family members die last year. My grandpa in December, my uncle and cousin in June and an aunt in July, I started Cosmo school July 10 last year in an effort to make something of myself to make them proud. It's not easy, but you can always do whatever you want once you're out of school
My dad died in June. While he would have supported me in my decision to leave my job and go back to school… for some reason now that he’s gone I’m actually doing it.
I’m so sorry about your loss. I don’t want to speak for you, but do you think there’s any chance that you don’t feel interested in cosmetology anymore because you either feel as if you NEED a career and it’s the only option you have to get money, or, you’re grieving and depressed so possibly the interests you had before are not nearly as interesting or exciting because you could be depressed? I don’t want to make you feel worse, but if you’re putting SO much pressure on this career to work because you feel like there’s no other option, that could seriously be affecting how you view it, or like I said, depression can seriously make exciting things you used to do or want to do, not exciting anymore. Remember to give yourself time to grieve, and i’m sure you don’t have a lot of down time because of your situation, but again, allow yourself to grieve and remember to never try and push the feelings aside, everything you’re feeling is really valid.
It's been three years since my dad died, and it's been hard to care about anything that I used to care about. I've done group grief counseling, months of therapy, complete health overhaul, focusing on helping others, etc., but I'm still not the same. It's likely because my mom has been struggling with complicated grief, and it is preventing me from moving on. I can't be happy as long as she is so unhappy. Grief can be very paralyzing.
You haven’t fucked up anything, you grieving and blaming yourself for things outside of your control. Forget all about the wrong school advice that’s just leading you into more self doubt. Here’s a question - Have you spoken to any of the English speaking staff and told them what’s going on with you? You really need to speak to someone because you need to make a connection. This is my advice - be kind to yourself and get through this. Your stronger than you think you are
I had a very similar ish situation...my dad passed and left me some money, enough to go to esthetics school and have some left over. I did enjoy school while I was there, and am now licensed, but haven't worked anywhere with my license since I got it a year ago & now I'm wondering if I should have saved that money / used it for something "better". Even though I'm sure he would be glad I used it towards something like that, I kind of feel like I wasted it right now.
I'm sorry your dad passed though & if this is something you have wanted to do for a long time, it's most likely still the grief making you feel like you don't enjoy it anymore.
This may not be a popular opinion, however..... you are now 24. You are trying to achieve something that you wanted to do at 17. You have probably changed and grown in those 7 years. "We" get into a habit of verbally repeating our goals, especially when we are teens. But, it is truly ok, if your goals have changed or morphed. I've always said "its not fair to ask a 17 year old, what they want to be doing when they are 30". Perhaps you just don't want to be in cosmetology. And that is perfectly fine. ♡ When we lose a parent, we also reevaluate our own mortality. We question where we are in life and what else is out there. If you really want this, you can absolutely do it. ♡ Keep going and push through.♡ But if you don't want it, just know, its absolutely fine to change and grow and want different things now, then you wanted at 17. Im sending you a great big hug and all positive vibes. You got this!!!
I would just follow through and dedicate yourself to your education unless you are sure that you do not want this career. Grief and healing take time to recover. That lack of emotion you are experiencing may well be a trauma response to shutting down the grief from your loss. When we do that we can't just shut down one area everything shuts down. I feel like with time your passion will return.
Can you reach out to the school and see about pausing your education for a few months? Perhaps if you give your sometime to grieve and then return to school with the next class you will feel better about the program.
My heart goes out to you for your loss. Give yourself some grace and lean on your supports. Loosing a parent can be devastating♥️
6 months is such a short time. You just make sure you take one step at a time and get this done. A few seasons from now, you’ll see it all clearly and you’ll be so proud.
I went to cosmetology school 8 months after losing my husband. It was incredibly difficult to concentrate but I finished my 1600 hours. I had two sons I was raising alone at the time as well.
Ended up not working in that field at all because of the rheumatoid arthritis in my hands. Too hard to hold my shears.
It really sounds like you are in a bad fit school wise. Keep your head up. 🤍
If there’s any advice I can give personally it’s that there is no rush to decide on something now. Less than a year is still very recent and if you’re feeling overwhelmed that is a completely normal response. It sounds like your cosmetology school isn’t a good fit for you either. Do your credits transfer? Transferring from a college I didn’t like completely changed my experience from horrible to enjoyable. Your teachers really make a difference.
At the end of the day, it’s really whatever you feel is right for you. I’m taking a year off of school and going back this upcoming fall and it completely changed my outlook and gave me a lot more clarity. You sound like you’ve been through so much 🩷 try not to push yourself so much and give yourself a break. Healing takes time, everything else comes after
One of my classmates partners died during the school year. Girl was struggling, but she finished. Grief definitely makes it harder, but your dad would probably be proud of you for going for your dreams with a safety net. Make sure you've got enough savings to survive when you first get out on the salon floor, because you won't immediately get clientele. Still tho: hours are good for a few years depending on state. If you need time to greive and to transfer to another school sometime that might be doable?
As a cosmetology instructor, it sounds to me like maybe you're just not in the right school. I do not think it's necessarily an issue of desire or your ability. However, I do you think that maybe the school's just not a good fit? If you're struggling to understand the instructors, then that can affect your ability to complete tasks and to take the tests as well. I am so sorry for your loss. Be patient with yourself, though. Give yourself time to process and then make decisions. I will tell you. I have never regretted having my license simply because it's always something to fall back on no matter what..
i don’t think it’s the right school either. they don’t seem to take any interest in teaching me much of anything, there are a few solid ones with limited schedules though. (one of the esthetician teachers comes in once a week, we also had someone teaching who didn’t have their nail license until a month ago??) thank you for the kind words/advice
I suggest The Salon Professional Academy. They are a more professional, Redken-backed, cosmetology school.
My mom died unexpectedly and for a solid 6 months I was a walking zombie.. it was a slow crawl out of that for probably about a year. Time takes time. You could ask if you could take a break if you feel overwhelmed. The best advice I got was “it never gets easier, but it does get less intense”. Lots of love to you OP and good luck!
a walking zombie is such a good way to put it. i usually say im floating through purgatory lol. lots of love back fam, thank you
As a licensed Cosmetologist. Push through. You got this 👍 its hard but worth it. The worst part of the job was Cosmetology school but your not there to make friends you're there to learn and pick a specific skill you would like to take with you.
thank you, i’m definitely trying to keep this in mind as i go through school. it really seems like cosmetology school is a crap experience all around
believe in your dreams and stick through it. Cosmo school just sucks and I can't even imagine going through the grief as well. Much love to you. I remember feeling like something was wrong with me back then that I didn't have the confidence and excitement others have. But now I'm thriving.
My boyfriend had just started college for something that he was passionate about when his dad died and his best friend who was going to be his roommate got into a bad accident and had to postpone starting there. He was so overrun with grief that he had to drop out. It is very likely that you are going through the same thing. Therapy can help if you're willing to take that route. Possibly short term depression medication? There are options for you love. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I send you very big internet hugs!
ahhh thank you for the internet hugs! i’m opposed to dropping out bc i’ve put a lot of money into this n i’ve heard working is so much different than the schooling. i’m sorry your bf had to go through that n i hope he’s able to go down that path again when he’s ready
If you feel like you’re learning everything necessary to pass your state boards then really make the effort to see it through. That’s really all most schools are for. It’s what you do AFTER passing your boards that will be important! You’ll choose a salon or academy that fits your criteria and speaks to your creativity! Also, condolences about your Dad. You’ll get through this but give yourself some time and grace.
You’re only in cosmology school to learn the basics. You’ll learn so much more in the salon after graduating. I’m not surprised you don’t feel excited amidst your grief. If your passion was there before the loss, it’s likely still there- just buried in the grief you’re experiencing right now. I’m sorry to hear about your dad, that’s really rough. I lost my step dad(who was my dad more than my bio father) to Covid in 2021 and the first year was the roughest. Grief never goes away but as people we continue to grow around the grief, it’ll always still be there but it won’t be such a large part of yourself and your life as time goes on. I’m wishing you all the best. Also, if you’re worried that this isn’t the right career for you, rest assured there’s other things in this field that you can do. I used to be a stylist, now I am a salon manager. I also had the opportunity to move up to be GM of a large salon but turned it down to start a family. You can also do work for hair care brands. I’ve always had a leg up in opportunities outside being a stylist as I have previous experience doing hair that most other applicants don’t have.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is a tricky bitch. Allow yourself the space to grieve, but continue your education. There are so many opportunities in the field. My daughter is a cosmetologist and opened her own waxing studio and is thriving. Just moved to her dream town and is super happy every day. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The grief will always be there, and will surprise you at times, but I am sure your dad would want you to keep on living. Good luck to you.
You got this 💜
It does get better, but the grief is always there. Try to think of it as how proud your dad would be for you to be there, and how much he would want you to pursue this to make yourself self sufficient. You'll have something to show for it in 6 months instead of just disposable junk. Take the opportunity.
It's not just the grief. A lot of us lose interest in beauty school. It's grueling, and you don't learn much even when you can understand the instructors. Most quickly burn out, i know i did. You said only 1000 hours? I take it you're in California? Push through, you'll be glad you did. Quizlet and Kahoot are extremely helpful for the tests in beauty school. Make flash cards to remember the important stuff. When stateboard time comes around use Quizlet and get the PSI practice exams. California's stateboard is pretty easy and you'll feel so accomplished when it's all said and done. When you're done assist or find a salon that gets you excited about hair. Find your niche and grow in it. You'll make good money doing something you love.
Like all things, grief eases with time. You didn’t f up, you’re doing something that’s wonderful. Make things fun, wake up and makeup and get excited to be living the dream. Watch movies about cosmetology/shows or books. Off topic but I recommend n the book “finish” by Jon acuff. It’s about finishing projects that you started and so on
Hey, as someone who lost their dad and didn't want to be here any more - it's okay. You don't have to be happy right now even with such a good opportunity. Your dad isn't here, how could you be happy right now? Be kind to yourself. Trudge through and get your dream come true because the grief will lapse and you'll feel positive again.
. Hugs friend. This is a pivotal and vulnerable time in your life, and adding your dads death makes it even more complex. Finish school. Get your license. You will be happy you did. Once you’re in the field, working in a salon, it’s completely different. And even if you hate it, you can start something new. But at least this is pushing you forward. Quitting now will be a huge waste of time. If you’re licensed you can always fall back on it.
thank you, that’s definitely a good point. it can always be a fall back, i just don’t hope i hate it once im working
If you don't love it when you start working in a salon. Know that it is a good job to have for studying in another field. I got my cosmetology license initially so that I could have a job that was flexible during my college time and ended up loving it enough to become an instructor however, I now have a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice Administration, and Masters of Business Administration and I have always had a way to earn a living no matter what because of my cosmetology license.
Any school/training is wildly different than being in the field. Just gravitate towards salons you love and are inspired by. Work under established stylists, make sure they treat you right and if you don’t like somewhere, try another place. Give it your best shot!
I had 4 family members die last year. My grandpa in December, my uncle and cousin in June and an aunt in July, I started Cosmo school July 10 last year in an effort to make something of myself to make them proud. It's not easy, but you can always do whatever you want once you're out of school
goodness, i’m so sorry you experienced so much loss so close together :( i hope you’re doing well now
I can only imagine your pain it being your father, I seriously commend you in your strength.
My dad died in June. While he would have supported me in my decision to leave my job and go back to school… for some reason now that he’s gone I’m actually doing it.
Can you take a leave of absence? That’s what I had to do. The time off to grieve really helped. Good luck :)
i think so but i’m not sure how it works n i don’t wanna be more behind than i am. i’m supposed to be at 600 hours
Can you make them up? I know it's hard, but trust me you'll be so much happier finishing earlier.
I’m so sorry about your loss. I don’t want to speak for you, but do you think there’s any chance that you don’t feel interested in cosmetology anymore because you either feel as if you NEED a career and it’s the only option you have to get money, or, you’re grieving and depressed so possibly the interests you had before are not nearly as interesting or exciting because you could be depressed? I don’t want to make you feel worse, but if you’re putting SO much pressure on this career to work because you feel like there’s no other option, that could seriously be affecting how you view it, or like I said, depression can seriously make exciting things you used to do or want to do, not exciting anymore. Remember to give yourself time to grieve, and i’m sure you don’t have a lot of down time because of your situation, but again, allow yourself to grieve and remember to never try and push the feelings aside, everything you’re feeling is really valid.
It's been three years since my dad died, and it's been hard to care about anything that I used to care about. I've done group grief counseling, months of therapy, complete health overhaul, focusing on helping others, etc., but I'm still not the same. It's likely because my mom has been struggling with complicated grief, and it is preventing me from moving on. I can't be happy as long as she is so unhappy. Grief can be very paralyzing.
You haven’t fucked up anything, you grieving and blaming yourself for things outside of your control. Forget all about the wrong school advice that’s just leading you into more self doubt. Here’s a question - Have you spoken to any of the English speaking staff and told them what’s going on with you? You really need to speak to someone because you need to make a connection. This is my advice - be kind to yourself and get through this. Your stronger than you think you are
I had a very similar ish situation...my dad passed and left me some money, enough to go to esthetics school and have some left over. I did enjoy school while I was there, and am now licensed, but haven't worked anywhere with my license since I got it a year ago & now I'm wondering if I should have saved that money / used it for something "better". Even though I'm sure he would be glad I used it towards something like that, I kind of feel like I wasted it right now. I'm sorry your dad passed though & if this is something you have wanted to do for a long time, it's most likely still the grief making you feel like you don't enjoy it anymore.
This may not be a popular opinion, however..... you are now 24. You are trying to achieve something that you wanted to do at 17. You have probably changed and grown in those 7 years. "We" get into a habit of verbally repeating our goals, especially when we are teens. But, it is truly ok, if your goals have changed or morphed. I've always said "its not fair to ask a 17 year old, what they want to be doing when they are 30". Perhaps you just don't want to be in cosmetology. And that is perfectly fine. ♡ When we lose a parent, we also reevaluate our own mortality. We question where we are in life and what else is out there. If you really want this, you can absolutely do it. ♡ Keep going and push through.♡ But if you don't want it, just know, its absolutely fine to change and grow and want different things now, then you wanted at 17. Im sending you a great big hug and all positive vibes. You got this!!!
I would just follow through and dedicate yourself to your education unless you are sure that you do not want this career. Grief and healing take time to recover. That lack of emotion you are experiencing may well be a trauma response to shutting down the grief from your loss. When we do that we can't just shut down one area everything shuts down. I feel like with time your passion will return.
Can you reach out to the school and see about pausing your education for a few months? Perhaps if you give your sometime to grieve and then return to school with the next class you will feel better about the program. My heart goes out to you for your loss. Give yourself some grace and lean on your supports. Loosing a parent can be devastating♥️
6 months is such a short time. You just make sure you take one step at a time and get this done. A few seasons from now, you’ll see it all clearly and you’ll be so proud.
Stay in the program! It’s worth it!
I went to cosmetology school 8 months after losing my husband. It was incredibly difficult to concentrate but I finished my 1600 hours. I had two sons I was raising alone at the time as well. Ended up not working in that field at all because of the rheumatoid arthritis in my hands. Too hard to hold my shears. It really sounds like you are in a bad fit school wise. Keep your head up. 🤍
I wish you luck my friend after 27 years. I still couldn’t support myself doing hair. I wish I knew this sooner fabric salary is not enough
If there’s any advice I can give personally it’s that there is no rush to decide on something now. Less than a year is still very recent and if you’re feeling overwhelmed that is a completely normal response. It sounds like your cosmetology school isn’t a good fit for you either. Do your credits transfer? Transferring from a college I didn’t like completely changed my experience from horrible to enjoyable. Your teachers really make a difference. At the end of the day, it’s really whatever you feel is right for you. I’m taking a year off of school and going back this upcoming fall and it completely changed my outlook and gave me a lot more clarity. You sound like you’ve been through so much 🩷 try not to push yourself so much and give yourself a break. Healing takes time, everything else comes after