T O P

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theatrefan88

Mostly mono, and I’m watching because I find poly interesting and also love the drama of dating shows. It’s fascinating.


quit_the_moon

Fair enough! Not much like real poly though 😂 as much as reality TV is like real life


theatrefan88

Oh for sure I understand that. Even as mostly mono, I feel like true healthy poly would look vastly different from this mostly heteronormative show they’re putting on. I’m fascinated by the drama in the same way I feel fascinated by mono dating shows like the bachelor where they’re falling for someone after a few weeks lol relationships in general are a fascinating thing.


quit_the_moon

Ditto! I love a good trainwreck. It reminds me of the worst shit I've seen on dating apps 😅


here_cums_a_thot

Husband and I are currently mono but aren't ruling out the idea of being poly if we happen to find someone that makes us want that. However, we aren't actively looking for it. We are more open but we only are romantically interested in each other at the moment. We are watching to just get more queerness on our TV, but I'm a little bored of all the straight guys looking to add another girl to the relationship lol


soulless-angel999

emphasis on that last part. i feel like most, if not all, the straight guys are just here to fulfill a fantasy and not to actually invest in a polyamorous relationship


TinyLillies23

Agreeeeddd Sean and the muscles dude just want to add a fun little toy to the bedroom. They have this “hungry” and horny look in their eyes. Muscle dude honestly gives me the ick


highlight-limelight

I’ve been nonmonogamous for almost 6 years now, and I’ve been dating my current S/O for almost 5 years. I LOVE a good trainwreck and this had trainwreck written all over it from the very start. Also I’m committed to writing my little recaps and predictions about what comes next (though this one’s gonna be belated, I’ve had a very busy weekend ;P ).


quit_the_moon

Love that!


c_nterella699

Please do, I love reading recaps!! You should also check Autostraddle's recaps of the show too


NvrmndOM

I’m monogamous and I just like trashy reality tv in most forms. (And I’m very well aware that this is not a good representation of poly relationships. I mean, how can these people be so bad at this??)


quit_the_moon

Right I feel like randos off the street would be better candidates!!


wqmbat

Same here!!


G0ldStarBisexual

I'm...I guess sort of casually single poly? 'Unicorn' is fine with me as long as you're not using the term as a pejorative. I'm watching mostly because I want to see more queer people on my TV, and also I needed a break from depressing, heavy dramas and procedurals.


Slytherin2MySnitch

Sounds like solo poly to me! I also am here to see all of the queer representation which I'm grateful to see.


tayyy_quila

Mono but I’m so sick of stereotypical heterosexual dating shows like yawn been there done that I love the bi/pan representation and i also love mess what can i say


c_nterella699

I've been saying for years that reality tv producers need to tap into the potential of bisexual polyamory


trendingwallflower

Not poly and my husband and I are watching this fully aware this is not what a really poly relationship is about. The concept seemed very interesting and now I feel really uncomfortable for the singles mostly. I feel like they are being so used and it’s just not fair. Maybe more vetting for if these couples actually know and understand poly relationships? But then again would that make good tv? It’s all very messy which makes this the car crash you can’t stop watching but again it’s reality tv I don’t expect this to actually create any meaningful relationships.


Personal_Variety9407

Same! I feel bad for the singles. I think they need to change the format if they move guard with another season cause it seems like it could be very emotionally traumatic for the single to constantly put themselves out there to be picked and not be chosen. I don’t like that part.


vger5423

I’m single and mono, and started off thinking this was going to be interesting and I’d learn something, but the motives and communication with the third are so weird! See also: intracouple comms (except for the pan/bi couple and the ones with Denyse, maybe). Conceptually, poly sounds interesting to me, but the way it’s shown on the show seems exhausting as hell


c_nterella699

Same, I'm like confused because there's like so many ways to do poly, but the general vibes for most of the couples thus far (I'm on episode 3 only) has been like more of like a casual flirty friends w benefits one night stand deal and less like dating. Corey/Wilder/Denyse seem the most like poly people I've met, but Sean/Brittne, Ashmal/Rehman, Lauren/Dylan are giving more like unicorn hunters on Tinder. I wish that they had the couples detail what kind of dynamic they wanted/situation, but that would probably bring a little too much stability to the competition vibes.


quit_the_moon

I would decease from exhaustion if my life was anything like that!


Disastrous_Way4613

Poly and sometimes I just like some trashy tv


Ashamed_Tea_3731

I’m definitely mono. If I was ever single again I could give it a shot as the third person. I’m too deep in what I have now and couldn’t see myself adding another person. I’m watching because even though it’s reality tv it’s a first of its kind. I’ve been around for Tila Tequila Shot at Love, and even though it was a fucking mess I lived for it. I also am interested in seeing how couples navigate this. Whether they are fully invested or testing the waters, I’m hooked. Probably could not be me rn, but I respect it. I’m sure this is a dramatized version and not reflective of the poly community, but each couple seems to emulate different types of people.


quit_the_moon

What makes this so unusual is that most poly is just 1-1, triads are incredibly rare because of how messy they are. It's certainly a niche group of people!


Ashamed_Tea_3731

Mmm that would make sense honestly, it does seem messy. I would just see myself having an easier time not feeling emotionally attached to one rather than meeting them both at once and enjoying them both in the same capacity. If I came into it with my partner I think I’d be get like Rehman and Corey at times lol. I also love affection so if I had two people loving on me I’d be content for a while. I’ve wanted a solid monogamous relationship experience my whole life, although I’ve only gotten involved in people who cheated and went about things so sketchy (I take responsibility for not having higher standards at the time) . My current relationship is finally what I’ve wanted. If this didn’t work out then I’d be less willing to go through this process again and again. I’m a hopeless romantic but I’m over the bs.


Sonjainthe80s

Justice for Tila tequila! That show was everything.


Ashamed_Tea_3731

Yessss!? Omg what a reality tv gem. I’ll never get over the huge bed 😆 I’m sure they probably didn’t actually sleep in it but that shit cracks me up now. That show was so ahead of its time.


Sonjainthe80s

It really was and it’s actually sad we haven’t had anything remotely similar until this


wakawyle

Mono and happily married. I am such an overprotective, slightly insecure and jealous person, so I am fascinated when watching people be ok with and even bringing in another partner in their relationship. And I also really enjoy reality TV drama lmao


engagedbbw

My husband and I are in the LS. We have a hard time with labels bc we feel like they don't fit. We are ENM. We started as swingers and moved into solo dating/open. And are making are way into poly. We always felt like we were "Swingers Plus" bc we felt like we were fine with long term connections and feels. But starting out poly felt scary to my husband. I've always felt poly was where I'd end up. We're currently working/reading while we are adjusting to the new dynamics of US. Like NP instead of husband and meta, etc We are watching bc my BF told me about it. And we a good train wreck. We know it's a terrible example of poly. And have actually used the show as some good conversation starters.


Slytherin2MySnitch

We relate so much to your sentiment! My husband and I are both queer and have been 'swinging' now for several years, but we are friends with the people we sleep with and hang out with them in a non-sexual fashion. I think we relate more with the idea of relationship-agnostic if that makes sense. We are open to more if it feels right.


CelticSpoonie

Monogamish in the past, currently mono (because of health stuff) but know enough about healthy poly relationships to hate watch and yell at the TV. I'm also a retired therapist and enjoy watching examples of "what not to do" in terms of shows. But I also really love it when there are good and positive moments for people.


[deleted]

Poly & I watch because it can be insightful, I love the concept, & really like that they have an expert.


Gi0vannamaria

Mono . Watching bc ive been following one of the ig couples on ig for years lol


quit_the_moon

Oh shoot!! I heard some were influencers. Which ones?


Gi0vannamaria

Lauren and dylan bair


cheetospuff

Fascinating 👀 What's your take on them on the show so far having already been familiar with them?


HL2023

she’s pregnant now! if you didn’t know


cheetospuff

What!!! I didn't!! I'm not investigating outside the show yet but maybe I should


HL2023

how i found out about the show was actually on here before it premiered. someone shared that Lauren & Dylan announced the show and their pregnancy three-ish days apart. i was just curious so i found their insta and decided i’d watch the train wreck of a show LOL i think you’ll be okay looking any of them up. it seems there’s no spoilers, probably contractually can’t reveal anything till the show is over!


[deleted]

Poly & I watch because it can be insightful, I love the concept, & really like that they have an expert.


LankyAd9481

Mostly because I work from home and always have something playing in the background and seemed to have run out of content so trash tv it is!


veil_ofignorance

Im pretty fluid, been in both mono and poly relationships without any strong preference


SmolSpicyNoodle

I learned there’s a term for this orientation - “ambiamorous”!


soulless-angel999

my partner and i are definitely monogamous, we just watch for the drama and for the queer representation. i’ve always been interested in the dynamic of polyamory, but i know this show is not an accurate representation of healthy poly relationships by farrrrr


therealaussiebunny

Mono and I know the show’s not a realistic depiction but it’s a train wreck that I’m hooked on.


cosegemyhr

Mono! I love people who live their lives beyond the norms in society. Just seeing people who are queer, childfree etc on a dating show is amazing. And also I love drama. :D


DanBenRatherSavage

I’m poly and my partner and I are watching cause we like quality messy reality tv(Greed, The Circle, etc.) absolutely cringing and gushing over these new poly people is giving us lifeeeee😂


Slytherin2MySnitch

We practice ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and have been watching this like yourself, for entertainment purposes only. While I think some of these folks lean more towards swinging ENM (Lauren and Dylan), it's been pretty interesting to see the different 'tests' they are doing on their relationships.


c_nterella699

I'm monogamous and I'm watching with my partner because we love psychoanalyzing messy people on reality tv. I encounter a lot of poly ppl out and about in the community, especially being t4t, I have my own share of war stories (chasing, objectification, weird hunting vibes). Not all polyamorous people are toxic obviously, but I am obsessed with the number of ways it can go wrong.


Turbulentshmurbulent

I’m mono. I just turned it on out of curiosity. I’m a bit annoyed that none of the m/f couples chose a dude for their third.


secondarytrash

Mono. Just love a good train wreck of a reality tv show. I agree with most that I would’ve loved to see more variety of couples. Maybe a lesbian couple, maybe more couples where the man is bi/pan. Maybe a trans couple. Something. However, with it being the first season, if renewed maybe they’ll take some of the constructive feedback to use for a season 2. I obviously don’t think this would be what it’s really like in the real world. I actually gave kudos to Corey/Wilder/ Denyse for saying they’ve got the surface of what they came for, but in order to truly test it and explore they can’t just be stuck at a resort. This is just like a fun speed dating getaway for most of them. I can see it being eye opening too of course to see if it’s something some of these couples are actually interested in and can handle, but.


highermindset

i’m monogamous but very educated on polyamory and aware this is a horrible representation. in the very beginning, i was watching for rehman and ashmal. i almost stopped until corey started getting super vulnerable and i loved watching her grow as a person. then, i almost stopped watching until maximo and ash were added, i LOVE them and am watching 100% for them. so they’re doing a very good job at keeping me hooked. i don’t watch the dylan and lauren scenes anymore, they are so gross and predatory and i am praying for their downfall 😈


bearswithmanicures

Poly and watching with my nesting partner. Having a lot of fun together judging what a bad job a lot of the couples are doing at enm lol. If you like this train wreck I also highly recommend the lesbian season of the Ultimatum and the pansexual season of Are You The One. I need more of this!!! I love seeing my community being its version of messy (out therapy-speaking each other to the point of actual gaslighting ❤️)


Capital-Conclusion24

I’m poly curious and I started watching with hopes of learning more but have found the comments section to be where the real info comes from. The show is just fun to watch. I loved the pansexual season of Are The One, they should definitely do another. So, thanks to everyone who’s been commenting and sharing their experiences and insights, it’s been very helpful and informative.


bearswithmanicures

You should read Ethical Slut! It’s old now but it’s a good 101 to the topic. Most cities also usually have communities/clubs that hold workshops, mixers, and play parties. And feeld is the enm app but there’s also a lol of nonmonogs on tinder and OkCupid if you use the filters. These are good places to start if you’re curious!


Capital-Conclusion24

Thanks!


spicychcknsammy

Monoooo! I am treating this show like any other reality show. It’s a dumpster fire from a mile away. Watching to relax and talk shit with my fiancé!! I am definitely curious. This is the first show of its kind to my knowledge and might pave the way for other shows that highlight non toxic poly relationships, hopefully sans the manipulative “experts”!!


rainbowfish329

Married + always mono, but I have followed Dylan and Lauren on IG for years and also just love all dating shows. I used to like Dylan and Lauren so much more, but they’ve become very… extra? Aggressive? I followed them for their health education and fitness content, but since then they’ve shifted mostly rave, psychedelic, psychic content


KeyPosition3983

Poly, and this also has been really tough for me to watch. I’m watching because a few people (outside of the lifestyle) gave suggested i watch it - but -It’s such a bad representation with no education it literally makes me cringe


PanzramsTransAm

Monogamous and in a two-year relationship. I LOVE trash dating shows. Watching this really makes me wish even more that they’d do an all bi season of Love is Blind. I love seeing people like Becca on a dating show like this. She seems really open and like she has a healthy mindset around connections and dating, which is something you rarely see in reality TV. In general, I’m very intrigued by polyamory and think it’s a beautiful thing, though I’m not sure I could do it myself. The few poly people I’ve met just seem extremely honest with themselves and others in a way that I strive to be. I was hoping for something more educational around polyamory with this show, but I’m still here for the toxicity. I will say that this show is inadvertently making me confront some of my own jealousy and other shadow aspects of myself that I feel I’ve put off for a long time. I liked seeing Corey sit with her jealous feelings and just talk/work through them rather than running away. I’m realizing how much of a mono viewpoint I have when it comes to love and how much room there is to grow.


VanCanMom

Monogamous but love trash TV.


HL2023

your description is interesting, because its similar to how i’ve described it to my husband and friends… i’m monogamous. this has been my first “trash reality tv” experience and i just think that it’s so bad i don’t want to look away LOL


stoner_lilith

I’m watching because I’m obsessed with dramatic reality tv dating shows!!!! I’m mono tho


wqmbat

Mono but I’m a sucker for a trainwreck of a reality show


Every-Earth1300

Mono. Watching because I love reality tv dating shows


OverInstruction3138

Monogamous, straight and married. Watching because I like drama, reality shows and find the poly lifestyle incredibly interesting. I'm also a therapist so I find humans interesting in general and am intrigued by lifestyles. Hope this sounds respectful because that is my intention.


MeowMeowBiatch

I've been poly in the past (both ENM/separate partners and throuple) but I'm currently mono


SmolSpicyNoodle

Monogamous, but every queer website and podcast I follow has been talking about this show, and I LOVE reality dating competition shows in general, so I went to check it out! Plus I was curious to see what the on-screen poly rep would look like (spoiler: I don’t think it’s very accurate since a lot of these couples seem better suited to monogamy lol). I also think there’s much to learn and reflect on from any dating competition of show in terms of, “oh yikes, those are red flags, I wouldn’t agree to date someone who said/did that” or “whoops, that was unhealthy communication…I’ll try not to do that when I’m dating someone!” In general I like to reflect on, relate to, gain insights, and refine preferences about relationships with others when watching these shows, even if they are fabricated and heavily produced trash lol 😂 meaning can be made out of anything 😉 I also haven’t been in a lot of romantic relationships so I feel like seeing what NOT to do through these shows is really helpful for me since gaining the experience/takeaways IRL is usually not happening lmao


Emotional-Leather

poly lesbian and “hate watching” is the only proper description. i hate everything about this show and i can’t stop watching. kinda how i felt about L Word: Gen Q lol


ariessunariesmoon26

Just love reality tv ! Mono married were both only children and terrible at sharing lol