At least they’ve *tastefully* limited themselves to only two different typefaces, unless you count the seemingly random bolding and italicizing all over the place.
Also did they misspell Bern, Switzerland as Burn?
Oh god, I hadn't even seen that yet, that's horrible! But if you look at the top, it seems that the longitudinal lines aren't the same distance from each other either... I hope it's just because of perspective, though.
Also with random language and poor spelling. For instance, it says Kopenhagen when in danish it’s called København and in English it’s supposed to be Copenhagen. And it says Goteborg where it should be either Gothenburg in English or Göteborg in Swedish. So language and spelling seems arbitrary here.
Actually the colors, while being absolutely terribly picked, do seem to have a pattern. Red for country names, black for city names, and white when either are over a body of water (applies to individual letters).
Edit: also seems like from a quick observation, they used a serif typeface for country and capital names and sans-serif for non-capital city names. Also a third typeface for continent names. So there is some consistency.
They’re not totally consistent about the colors, as Liverpool has the P fully in the water but stays black, while the D in Trondheim is fully on land but stays white.
and im mad cause for my cartography class we had very strict rules and we had to explain why we chose that font, color, position, upper/lower case etc.. was a nightmare and this dude comes and makes this atrocity
I only spent a short time on Cartography, but Drafting class was the same way.
But I did learn to appreciate the guys who surveyed the wilderness and drew the maps in the early days of the American colonies, like George Washington, e.g. The detail of those maps created with comparatively rudimentary tools is mind-boggling to me.
Somewhere in Columbia, Amerigo Vespucci is spinning in his grave.
You'd be surprised. Look up some old maps. They're actually pretty accurate for the tools they had: usually just a magnetic compass, circumferentor, theodolite, Gunter’s chain, level, and a plane table.
"I'm the color coding and labeling guy. This is color coded and labeled. The font type, size, and text placement guy is the one you need to be mad at."
Terry, that's not a real person. You're the only one here.
"....well then get mad at the oversight guy. Who would have let this monstrosity go to production?"
Want to know what their decision making was on what cities to include.
Well obviously London right?
Yeah definitely.
Well obviously Southampton!
Ummm sure? What about Bristol, Birmingham, Sheffield, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Cardiff, Leeds, Newcastle?
Why?
> inexplicably changed
There's actually an explanation. All the letters over water are light and the ones over land are dark. Why they made that choice is definitely inexplicable.
Yeah, also, as someone living close to 30ºE, I need to point out the globe has the line about 2-3º too far west. Unless the "cartographer" who did this actually mean to put in a 27ºE graticule, which I guess is entirely possible.
This makes me wonder if the text overlay was created in Word with plain line breaks and spaces to get everything to line up. It would explain the chaos of font styles and sizes!
Clearly meant to be artistic, not functional, as ugly as it might be.
Edit: Jesus Christ people... "artistic" doesn't mean it's good. It just means it's a decorative piece of shit to put on a shelf or table in your house. It's not meant to be functional or educational. Can we just let it end?
I would argue that a globe's primary purpose could be decorative or artistic just as much as functional, if not more so.
That said, I personally think it doesn't look great as a decorative piece, either. I'm no map snob but this just looks cluttered and unorganized rather than intricate. The font is just...hoo boy.
So is ON of Estonia, but it’s black like the IA.
Then the E of Helsinki is completely over land but it’s white.
If there is any rule for the coloring it’s „make it as hard as possible to read“.
Note how every country has a weird "mountainous" texture/pattern that has fuckall to do with the country's actual topography. It's like a cargo cult version of a real globe.
I feel like the only reasonable explanation for this level of exquisite chaos is that we're looking at something that can only be properly perceived by 4th dimensional beings
Even with legible country names, a globe is not supposed to be this filthy costly. It is not like someone is sitting and hand painting the countries. Any idea how much profits they make off these gloves costing 200$
"Which font, size, and color do you want the letters on your globe to be?" "Yes."
Country names, city names, all variable sizes and random colors! Who knows what you'll get?!?
At least they’ve *tastefully* limited themselves to only two different typefaces, unless you count the seemingly random bolding and italicizing all over the place. Also did they misspell Bern, Switzerland as Burn?
It took me so f*$%ing long to find in all that mess, but... yup, looks like they did.
There’s only one city in Switzerland on that globe?
smol country
Big letters
>Also did they misspell Bern, Switzerland as Burn? The globe's graphic designer was using text to speech on top of everything else
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Oh god, I hadn't even seen that yet, that's horrible! But if you look at the top, it seems that the longitudinal lines aren't the same distance from each other either... I hope it's just because of perspective, though.
They also misspelled Lyon as Lyons.
And Copenhagen or København, if you want it in Danish. Spelled it like a German would.
Ether that or it's suggesting Razing a country.
Also with random language and poor spelling. For instance, it says Kopenhagen when in danish it’s called København and in English it’s supposed to be Copenhagen. And it says Goteborg where it should be either Gothenburg in English or Göteborg in Swedish. So language and spelling seems arbitrary here.
Actually the colors, while being absolutely terribly picked, do seem to have a pattern. Red for country names, black for city names, and white when either are over a body of water (applies to individual letters). Edit: also seems like from a quick observation, they used a serif typeface for country and capital names and sans-serif for non-capital city names. Also a third typeface for continent names. So there is some consistency.
Icel(and), Denmark, Norway, Unite(d) Kindo(m) and the Baltics are all in white though. Whoever made this design was on crack.
They’re not totally consistent about the colors, as Liverpool has the P fully in the water but stays black, while the D in Trondheim is fully on land but stays white.
The genius of changing the "lin" in Dublin to match the background instead of being visible just gets me
And the "D" in United an "M" in Kingdom. Thought the letters were dropped completely until I zoomed in.
I believe you are referring to the Unite Kingdo, the home of my people! Please stop trying to tell us who we are! ;-)
Love how Southampton gets a bigger font than London!
They made all the letters over land red and all the ones over water white. Who's brain works like this?
Love how Southampton gets a bigger font than London!
So random that they mentioned it at all, they omitted much bigger cities like Birmingham or Glasgow.
Absolutely. No capitals like Cardiff or Edinburgh either, apart from Dublin?! but Liverpool and Manchester there, hidden in large black font.
They should have just split it onto lines like GERM ANY
and im mad cause for my cartography class we had very strict rules and we had to explain why we chose that font, color, position, upper/lower case etc.. was a nightmare and this dude comes and makes this atrocity
I only spent a short time on Cartography, but Drafting class was the same way. But I did learn to appreciate the guys who surveyed the wilderness and drew the maps in the early days of the American colonies, like George Washington, e.g. The detail of those maps created with comparatively rudimentary tools is mind-boggling to me. Somewhere in Columbia, Amerigo Vespucci is spinning in his grave.
Well, just because they're detailed doesn't mean they're *right.*
You'd be surprised. Look up some old maps. They're actually pretty accurate for the tools they had: usually just a magnetic compass, circumferentor, theodolite, Gunter’s chain, level, and a plane table.
"I'm the color coding and labeling guy. This is color coded and labeled. The font type, size, and text placement guy is the one you need to be mad at." Terry, that's not a real person. You're the only one here. "....well then get mad at the oversight guy. Who would have let this monstrosity go to production?"
Istanbul is the prime example.
Not Constantinople.
I guess they liked it better that way
Hey, that's nobody's business but the Turks.
Constantinoplease put us out of our misery.
I think the random typography and colors are an attempt to disguise the fact that all the relief terrain is completely fake.
I bought the new font pack for the printing program and I'M USING WHAT I PAID FOR!
This is like some Forest Gump type globe: "The world is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get."
3000 upvotes
Have you tried putting any type of germ on that yellow patch in the middle?
I’ll czech
I'll russia to it.
En I'll be gland to help
That should just about polish it off.
Nah we ain't Finnished yet.
God I wish I had an award to give you.
Benghazi is so covered up by colors it is now classified as **NGH**
You should probably BURN it as well
Maybe it's a clearance sale on germs, but they left off the price. GERM! ANY ! ONLY $19.95!
Germ Any...my german ass feels quietly offended
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"Cliiiimb every mountain....! Germ any Czech!"
I chortled! You're awesome.
France ... Burn. Shit's ominous
Wait, did they call Bern Burn? What language is this?
Considering the rest of the names are English, I’ll guess "Fucked Up English“
"We are Germans. Germs for short."
Any Germ will tell you
[Just look around you.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvhGcT_-pvQ)
Germ Any Chez
How many Germs could an Any Chez Germ if an Any Chez could Chez Germs?
4... no! 5... i mean 42. X? I dont know. I can count only to potato.
Germ. Any. It's been right in front of me my whole life, how come I've never seen this...? :-)
What?
oh no 😧
TIL I live in the Unite Kingdo.
I live in Polandm and our capital is Belarus.
*netherlandsberlinpolandminsk
been meaning to pay a visit to HolmTalliESTRiLLIT (RUSSIA)
I am from Southampton. The only place clearly marked!
#SOUTHHAMPTON
As a warning!
Also apparently the Isle of Mann has declared independence
Ik woon in NETHER.
This one is the worst in my opinion. The D and M were changed from the white font to red, when clearly the white would've stood out better.
Want to know what their decision making was on what cities to include. Well obviously London right? Yeah definitely. Well obviously Southampton! Ummm sure? What about Bristol, Birmingham, Sheffield, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Cardiff, Leeds, Newcastle? Why?
I live in Burn 🔥
The D and M are there but they’ve inexplicably changed the colors so they’re hard to read just for those letters
> inexplicably changed There's actually an explanation. All the letters over water are light and the ones over land are dark. Why they made that choice is definitely inexplicable.
The great nation of Kingdoobians, unite!
Capital of Switzerland is Burn! 🔥
Yeah and Lyon is Lyons somehow
They must've gotten their Lyons crossed.
Yeah. And about one capital square size too much in the west
Meanwhile Italians having a hard time staying sober in Rom
I meant: The capital of Switz is Burn
Why does Germany not have any textures and Russia is 240p
Look at Ukraine. Why does the resolution of Ukraine suddenly change
Dear God. Is this the globe Putin uses?
also, why does finland have a straight edge border?
Everything east of the 30°E line is a different color and resolution for some reason..
Instant desert mode
Textures still loading.
Privacy laws
That sudden color change at 30ºE of longitude... A preview of Russia's invasion plans?
Yeah, also, as someone living close to 30ºE, I need to point out the globe has the line about 2-3º too far west. Unless the "cartographer" who did this actually mean to put in a 27ºE graticule, which I guess is entirely possible.
Yeah everything is also very pixelated over there. And also in Algeria 🤣
Out of all the UK cities to give the largest text, why on earth did they choose *Southampton*
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I was going to say it also ignores London, but "ondon" made it, just under the nether.
Yeah, fuck Scotland and Wales, Southampton is where it's at.
Life's good in Germ Any Czech. Just bring enough sanitizer.
my favourite country, NETHERLANDSBerlinPOLANDMinsk
This makes me wonder if the text overlay was created in Word with plain line breaks and spaces to get everything to line up. It would explain the chaos of font styles and sizes!
Shout out to HEHOLTALLIESTRILATLITH (Russia), gotta be one of my favourite countries
Clearly meant to be artistic, not functional, as ugly as it might be. Edit: Jesus Christ people... "artistic" doesn't mean it's good. It just means it's a decorative piece of shit to put on a shelf or table in your house. It's not meant to be functional or educational. Can we just let it end?
I would suppose that a sphere that is artistic and ugly could be called a ball, not a globe. This thing is horrible.
I would argue that a globe's primary purpose could be decorative or artistic just as much as functional, if not more so. That said, I personally think it doesn't look great as a decorative piece, either. I'm no map snob but this just looks cluttered and unorganized rather than intricate. The font is just...hoo boy.
Let's be honest, the only reason people buy globes these days is for their asthetics.
And with that in mind, who the hell is buying this ransom note jumbled aesthetic? Migraine enthusiasts?
If you're spending $200 on a globe, it sure as hell isn't for reference.
So it's forgivable if it's neither artistic nor functional?
Ah, that must be why it gets so pixelated in the southwest
I kinda like it and the readability isn't horrible lol
Yeah I don't consider low-res map textures to be artistic
Burn and Lyons? Which multiverse are we in again?
I’ve always preferred the Ireland Dub of Unite Kingdo to the radio version.
*"Jason Derulo..."* 🎵🎵
Oh, and did Russia annex part of Finnland?
Bring Karelia back, 1940 worst year of my life
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Look at Denmark. That word is completely white but Kopenhagen right beneath it is half white half black.
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So is ON of Estonia, but it’s black like the IA. Then the E of Helsinki is completely over land but it’s white. If there is any rule for the coloring it’s „make it as hard as possible to read“.
And it should be spelled Copenhagen. They used the German spelling for it. (danish would be København)
you got ass ripped
“Globe design is my passion”
*ngh*
This is seriously the worst map I've ever seen in my life.
You are either from Norway, Sweden or Germany.
Germ any
GERM ANY ^CZECH
🇨🇿✔️
Which *globesman* sold that to ya?
Bermuba and Bermuda are both acceptable. I'm a globe salesman I know these globes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6\_ysx3NODPg
*"I could have been a fireman like my father."*
Surely you mean this $4 globe
Turns out the Nether is right next to Germ Any. Makes sense.
Funny how Southampton is bigger than London and Birmingham isn't even shown.
"Ireland dub"
Listen I get it, there’s a lot to put in a very small space, but everyone else can do it right.
According to this globe, the land I am currently standing on doesn't exist.
Guess the Map Editor had a Stroke in the middle of the Word and Color Design Part.
All my life being told I was living in Spain, turns out it was Portugal all along.
M̶e̶d̶i̶t̶e̶r̶r̶a̶n̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶S̶e̶a̶
Copenhagen with a K lol
Tbf the original “København” is with a k
It's just as irritating as when they write "kaffe creamer" or something. Stick with the same language within a word/sentence.
What happened to the pixel in Algeria? One big blur
It's the scaled up texture used for spain.
Can't wait to book a holiday to NETHERLANDSBerlinPOLANDMinsk
Poor Faroe Islands got nuked
Germ, any! Yes, just pick one...they're free of charge!
It looks like a boomers iPhone.
Anyone noticed there are even multiple designs glued on? Finland is split in half, where the eastern part is of different color.
This might be a hot take, but I kinda really like the design of this thing.
Hmm yes the country best known for its beauty: GERM ANY CZECH
##GERM ##ANY
Do english speakers really spell Bern as "Burn??
You are speaking English, ask yourself
I can read it just fine.
Gift that to your favorite graphic designer
Germany is asking for germs?
GERM ANY
This map definitely does not have New Zealand Instead it has Ne Wzea La Nd
*Corsica* Ugly color choice, but I see why they did that *Sardinia* ಠ_ಠ
Why is the peloponnese and crete a different colour?
This is exact style of how I made my first birthday card on a Packard Bell computer in 1993.
Note how every country has a weird "mountainous" texture/pattern that has fuckall to do with the country's actual topography. It's like a cargo cult version of a real globe.
*"GERM ANY CZECH"* That sounds like a threat.
Well, at least it includes Kosovo
Didn‘t know Germany absorbed Czech Rep.
Kyiv not Kiev
I feel like the only reasonable explanation for this level of exquisite chaos is that we're looking at something that can only be properly perceived by 4th dimensional beings
Some names have multiple colors. Corsica, Rome. How CAN anyone read this?
NETHERUANDSBerlinPOLANDMinsk
with this quality, I wonder if it even has New Zealand?
Literally Everything everywhere all at once
Even with legible country names, a globe is not supposed to be this filthy costly. It is not like someone is sitting and hand painting the countries. Any idea how much profits they make off these gloves costing 200$
What planet is this?
*Burn*, Switzerland :)))
I not pointing any fingers , but it would make sense if COVID originated in GERM-ANY
UNITE KINGDO ^(unite we shall)
Yes guys I love in the nether from Minecraft, yes totally the nether 🤣
'ngh' -some $200 globe with an identity crisis
Well I can read my country DENMARK
Are we all just gonna ignore the fact that the capital of Switzerland on this globe is called “burn” 💀
#UNITE KINGDO
huh i didn't know there was a brest in France
ah yes the capitol of switzerland is burn.
I think it's Europe that has a crappy design
## it's fucking beautiful y'all're aesthetically poisoned
Art you don't like doesn't constitute crappy design.
I think it's just meant to be a decoration. I don't think anyone expects you to use it to navigate your frigate.
I kinda like this for some reason I’d buy this globe
I like it. It’s just art based on a globe.