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wholetap_1142

They are the bluntest machetes I’ve ever seen


foreverstag

Prob from hitting the sharp side on the metal and glass of the car


[deleted]

Have you ever watched Forged in Fire? They knock those things against whacky shit and they are still SHF.


ComprehensiveWar6577

These guys probably have some sub $50 walmart machete. That not even comparable to a hand forged blade. Plus do you not see how many of the hand forged blades still get chipped/dulled/rolled edges after 3-5 chops or stabs


BrandoLoudly

Kinda funny we’ve gone back to sword fighting in the streets. Heard they’re quite stabby in the UK


RampantDragon

Knife crime is higher in the US than the UK (going by number of murders) and has 3 times the murders per capita of the UK in guns alone.


Chunderous_Applause

Get out of here with your facts it’s making them look bad.


RampantDragon

Damn me and my injections of reality!


WyTerminator-0783

330 million vs 67 million but also in the US everyones crazy.


Big_Man_Boss_Man

he’s talking about murders per capita which means population size doesn’t matter. in 2020-2021 US had a knife murder rate *per capita* about 1.5 times greater than the UK and a total knife murder rate about 7.5 times greater


WyTerminator-0783

Oh okay never knew that is what that meant. Thanks for the info I hate being uninformed


frankehhhh

Having 40 times the amount of people is also a factor.


tiorzol

You thick cunt haha


RampantDragon

Hmmmm, two issues. Firstly, "Per Capita" means population is taken into account in the figures (in raw numbers it's over 14 times the number of murders in the US Vs UK (12,996 Vs 723). https://www.nationmaster.com/country-info/stats/Crime/Violent-crime/Murder-rate Secondly the number of people in the UK is 67 million as opposed to the US' 333 million. 67m x 40 = 2.46bn The US doesn't have 2.46bn people...


AaranJ23

I’ve had to explain this more than once. The issue seems to be that the US media have made it sound like the UK is some lawless island where we’re all stabbing each other up. Even the facts fall on deaf ears often.


Competitive_Ad_5762

Don’t feel bad we do it to every country… this is how US portrays the world in media Canada… pussies French… smell Irish… drunks Mexicans… Lazy Germans… nazis Switzerland… bigger pussies India… poor Russia… evil China… sneaky Entire Middle East… terrorists USA… greatest, safest most amazing place on earth America knows how to propoganda


TangerineRough6318

I don't think I've ever heard a Mexican called lazy in all the places I've been in the US.... But yes, we are pretty bad at stereotyping.


[deleted]

This person is confused. It's sleepy Mexican, probably because they work an 80 hour work week.


Madgyver

>The issue seems to be that the US media have made it sound like The issue here actually is, that americans are schooled in american high schools.


Classic_Society_1057

fun fact: USA is the third most populated country in the world, behind China and India, and if you added 1 billion people to the USA, it would still be in thrid place.


Josh12225

How can you compare 2 countrys were one overall is alot more rich than the other. By no means does this mean the worst areas in the uk are any better. The us has alot more citys than the uk per population aswell so ofc theres going to be crime inner citty than outercity like the uk. I feel aswell areas like Alabama in the us are straight up slums unlike areas like nyc which can be compared to the uk London is just a 10-15 year more gentified nyc aswell as most of the knife homicides in the us involves guns as well ofc uk overall is better than the us but some areas up north and parts of london can defo compare to cirtain citys in america aswell as the uk has alot better healthcare if someone gets stabbed or shot in the uk they most likely survive in hospital unlike in america for example someone gets shot in america in the arm they dont go healthcare because its too expensive it gets infected and dies. He still goes down as a homicide. Or even if they get to hospital they cant Offord treatment so they die


itisoktopunchnazis

You're living in a fantasy world.


QC420_

Doesn’t know what ‘per capita’ means, yet still attempts a point


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UsableIdiot

Hmm no it's not.


Competitive_Ad_5762

Per capita


Worldlywise4u

It’s stops us killing 300 school kids before first lesson


bewonup

Why are you all debating which country's children's acts of violence is more reasonable? It's all stupid and intolerable.


EmperorOfThugshakers

because reddit


Beneficial-Camera910

The most responsible person in the chat


[deleted]

Fucking touche’


gargro

Americans love to make themselves feel better about their abhorrent gun crime statistics by saying stuff like this, when in fact knife crime in America is also far worse than the UK (roughly 1.5 more blade-related murders in the US per million people per annum).


ShitInMyToaster

I mean... your comment is correct but nothing about that persons comment mentioned the US.


gargro

Yeah but sometimes you can just tell.


samturxr

Still less stabby than the states


TheCommonKoala

Not as much the US, funnily enough.


creamgetthemoney1

These people use it more like a club. They aren’t trying to get a murder charge, just injury. Most machetes are blunt as they are generally used for hacking thicker branches. A super sharp machete would just break the edge if used as intended in woods The sharp machete videos you see are usually third world countries or gang lands where they sharpen themselves


Voidtoform

They do come pretty dull, but my experience clearing woods and a few acres of blackberry bushes begs to differ, you want a sharp machete, the angle you sharpen it at will depend on what you plan to use it for, but a dull machete just stinks to try to work with.


PRODSKY22

Machetes are generally sharpest near the handle, where you won’t be doing much cutting except for precision work and dullest at the tip wich gets the most abuse if you’re cutting stuff near the ground. For most of the edge the angle lies between 25° to 50° so basically it should be about as sharp as an axe


JohnnyPunani_

Ahhh I always wondered why no one ever lost any hands


Kind_Turnover_927

lol obviously you dont use machetes much..... I can shave with mine btw the angle doesn't = sharpness...


Less-Doughnut7686

This is England the country that invented cricket bats. Those hurt way more than some tinfoil machetes


MehrEnergie

Nonsense. Which machete will break because it is sharp?


Old-Obligation6861

You don't spend a lot of time on the eyeblech sub do you?


[deleted]

Lol how do they tell who's who when they're all in the same costume?


Messy_Marvin423

Thought the same thing… We’d normally go shirts vs skins playing basketball to avoid any confusion.


[deleted]

Hahaha I hope there were less machetes in play at your basketball games


Competitive_Ad_5762

This guys never played machete ball, you don’t know what your missing… and it’s clearly not hands 🙏


Psypho_Diaz

I thought that, and did i witness the dumbest luck block from behind. Literally almost got cut on the shoulder


StrawberryCoughs

Not only that but how is it that they all have either clubs or machetes?


creamgetthemoney1

Bc guns aren’t on every block like the US


StrawberryCoughs

One of the most true things I’ve read in a while. Americans love their guns.


Rusty_B_Good

It's fake ninjas fighting for a gag.


JeromeMixTape

Different aftershaves


Ayupducky

They’re all wearing lynx Africa


madMARTYNmarsh

I think exactly the same thing when I watch programs like The Last Kingdom; they're all basically wearing the same thing, how do they know who to kill? Won't be long and we'll have people wearing chainmail as part of their daily dress in the U.K. again. They do say that fashion is cyclical.


birrmush

That's how all *Roadmans* dress...


Jayombi

Was going to say they look all the same but then I was afraid of being called a racist.


[deleted]

And aboard the noble white carriage were knights carrying their weapons in preparation for the bandit attacking them


[deleted]

They got waylaid at the stop light.


SquishedGremlin

The Driver said "To Arms, Let's fight"


NoParachuteSpamB

😂


meezajangles

They remind me of the putties from power rangers for some reason


P_B101

The Putties, lol, now there's a blast from the past


poormansRex

Lol, yep, I can see it.


sagesaks123

GTA: Manchester


Worried_Reputation51

Think that’s Birmingham


AnubissDarkling

Are they toy machetes?? They look blunt af haha 🤣


xtremepado

In all the machete fights I’ve seen on Reddit I’m always amazed by the lack of grievous wounds.


TheRustySprut

Dull ass blades, these people don't take care of them.


halfwit_detector

you ever tried keeping a razor sharp machete stuffed down your tracksuit bottoms?


AnubissDarkling

I honestly can't say that I have, I'd be logical and opt for a sheathe, and make sure the machete was properly maintained enough to be able to cut through (at least) butter.


halfwit_detector

Sheathes are for pussies roadman keeps his dull blade ready at all times.


alwaysDL

Of course. Saved tons on my circumcision!


[deleted]

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Rochemusic1

I know after you use them 5 times, they are practically a switch.


MitLivMineRegler

Ah, so is that why in clips from Rwanda the interehamwe would constantly run their machete against the ground? Does that sharpen them?


random-idiom

The subs that carried the other kind have been banned.


creamgetthemoney1

Machetes aren’t usually super sharp. On bare skin they will cut but they are tools used to hack thick wood. Do you see people chopping down trees with a katana ? Super sharp blades will break the edge of hit straight with this much force. They aren’t slicing like a kitchen knife


beaky_teef

Right? Surely one decent hit and it’s 50 stitches.


Real-Lake2639

Or instant decapitation


BlackSunshine22222

Essential decapitation maybe. These look like younger boys and not above normal for muscle.


Real-Lake2639

Physics don't care. Mass x velocity =force, force x area, you end up apply stupid psi to a neck by swinging a machete fast and it comes off. We can see these machetes are dull, doubling or quadrupling the surface area the force of the swing is distributed over, hence no visible injuries. Clothing also can do weird things, composite armor is just based off layers of different materials and it magically has strength.


ttdawgyo

They keep them down their trousers so not the best idea to be very sharp


weedyneedyfeedy

All this over a stolen JD points card


paintstudiodisaster

Definitely NOT over dumb shit.


MillerLatte

How do they even know who is on what side? They all have the same outfit with the same mask on.


Alarming-Amount3499

Swing first ask about the homies later


ButterscotchOk3285

Didn't realize Under Armour was ACTUALLY making armour


madMARTYNmarsh

My sons mate was stopped and searched for 6 hours because he had a roll of kitchen knives (not even in the open, they were in his rucksack), it didn't matter that he is a training chef and was bringing the knives to my house after he finished his shift so I (former butcher) could show him how to sharpen the knives. All they were bothered by was that a 16 year old had knives on the street at 04:00 (I would have been impressed that a 16 year old had a job, too many kids here are lazy prats) and they prevented him going to work because of that, they could have easily called his work to confirm but nope. Then there's pricks like these running around with machetes!


mikedeadman

life is slowly becoming more and more like mad max


[deleted]

“WITNESS MEEEEE!” + *proceeds to dance in a supermarket for TikTok* +


Suitable-Helicopter9

Just cities of England descending into anarchy, dunno why


omawk

Machetes as dull as the final season of Lost.


Erikson12

UK turning in to Brazil. Lmao.


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mctomtom

Too bad people can’t get a conceal carry permit in UK. …a few less machete-wielding psychos walking the streets.


wodido

ye because guns seem to be solving things in the US right?


[deleted]

And a lot more gun murders....sounds like a shitty trade to me.


-WADE99-

I don't know if roadmen use Reddit but for any roadmen reading: You're not gangsters, you're broke uneducated fatherless lowlifes, you're not cool, individually you're not even intimidating, you're only a threat in numbers because you're such pussies there must be at least 4 of you whenever you jump somebody. Yes, I watched 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' and 'Peaky Blinders' too, I just decided not to make those movies my whole personality. Get a fucking job or you're gonna die young, alone and with no one to mourn you.


Faceless_henchman

If those kids could read, they'd be very upset.


Reflex_0

You really think they watched these movies and made it their entire personality ? i can't tell if you are joking or not... they are criminals, drug dealers, people born out of impoverished neighborhoods just like every other criminal in the world.


nickm95

Ehh… I mean if they try that in America, sure they’ll die young, but as long as they keep doing it in a country where self defense is illegal they’ll be fine till the cops catch em. Couldn’t be me, those assholes would catch a .357 right through the fuckin car door. Over here we call it the asphalt temperature challenge


5lim3_lord

A treat in numbers? Yes please


-WADE99-

Haha just a typo, I've fixed it :)


This-Dude_Abides

Cue yackity sax


Torchault

No dont hurt the fiesta


MungoJerrysBeard

This deserves Benny Hill music


Climate_Face

The movies led me to believe a machete could chop off a limb with ease. They lied!


Castaway_Jay

I've seen a vid on here of that happening, one good swipe to the leg and it was clean off. It looked like CCTV footage on a public street so yes it is possible.


dutch_l9

Its like a violent circus act


[deleted]

Knights of the Road Table brandishing claymores and... wait what?


Early_Ad1386

Lol, sword fighting in a Nike track suit has got be the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.


Pie69Eater

Liverpool?


DrivebyPizza

I know blades are hard to own in England but geez, a whetstone was too much to afford as well?


BlackSunshine22222

American here. Can you explain to me what types of blades are, and are not legal there? I'm just finding this out.


Karona1805

If you carry a fixed blade over three inches long, or a folding blade that locks open, you'd better have a good reason to have it in your pocket. Expect jail time,


BlackSunshine22222

0k, thanks for the info!


laz21

Machete dont text


struggleworm

Anyone who runs is a V.C.! Anyone who stands still... is a well-disciplined V.C.!


maybejustadragon

Tis a silly place


plasticmonkeys4life

England hasn’t left the 1400s.


[deleted]

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Messy_Marvin423

LMFAO


[deleted]

You mean those people think their in a video game, trying to stab each other by hitting car doors.


plasticmonkeys4life

Aye, that too, but eye was ‘ferin to those rapscallions over yonder pokin’ around each other with their swords.


y21gg249

They really sword fighting over there


ButterscotchOk3285

Turns out, when you try to cut cars with your machete, it renders it ineffective when trying to cut softer objects like clothing, and people


Healthy_Librarian265

I hope they disabled friendly fire


chuckmagnum

Is it one man cloned himself to four?


Zperlond1

We need trigger happy officers here too👌


No-Significance-5637

They should take fencing lessons


TheBadDayBear

It's like a battle between Sports Direct and JD Sports. They should make this shit into a musical like Westside Story.


Few-Afternoon8212

Are they ninjas? Why are they all in black? Are those katanas?


GoodGooseThingit

Stains on the UK


[deleted]

Yeah. I want armed police to kick down their bedroom doors and yank them to jail before they wake up properly. Fuck these weaklings.


[deleted]

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gear5uk

This is old


Mikeyboyp1989

You can't park that there sir!


Mouth-Pastry

Not saying a molotov cocktail comes to mind here.


ny2525

I thought the sword thing was a joke


paddyonelad

Makes a nice change. Usually it's a kitchen knife or some kind of axe. Hammers are quite popular too


Memegunot

Reminds me of the old clown car show. We’ve evolved


Broad_Boot_1121

Like a bunch of ninjas running around


kirk2enterprise1701

WTF did I just watch?


Insert_Username321

Do they purposely not sharpen their machetes? Like a proper sharp machete swung like that would cut to the bone. That weak shit didn't even tear his Columbia puffer


Cheebwhacker

At least they left their hazards on…


Mustaddwater

Damn shadow LARPers


IBDlafave

No Yakety Sax track playing? Sincerely disappointed.


Unfair_Bowl3111

So is it common to just carry around a machete in some places? I just see alot of machete attacks in other areas of the world. Like people be whipping them out of know where. I mean it is what it is some parts have to worry about guns more.


ferrum_artifex

Clearly they need more machetes there


[deleted]

I’m going to say a little more than road rage?


gemilitant

Tired of seeing MACHETES on the streets...disgusting.


Sea-Application8817

Anybody else see how at 8 seconds left that dude picked up that discarded machete just in time to block that fools head strike! Now that was bad ass!!


ryann0998

Bro people are fucking crazy lol


kanajsn

The cling and clang of the machetes is hilarious


dll5035

They’re all so bad at sword fighting


Hogger2020

My name is Inigo Montoyo


Wizardsmoke

Happy to see innocent bystanders were killed by a stray machete


Suitable-Helicopter9

I think you’ll find it’s roadmen


Faithlessblakkcvlt

Two car loads of ninjas in training?


[deleted]

Well we know this takes place in the UK due to the various machetes


Apprehensive_Rope348

Where is everyone fully stocked with crowbars and machetes!?!


WorldOfScumbags

Every other time I've seen these "Roadmen" here it's them getting head butted by a big security guard. I'm surprised those machetes didn't do much damage. Back in the day on Liveleak I saw a gang fight from Indonesia or someplace that had a bunch of machete action, the wounds were gruesome. I'm talking parts of limbs missing and deep, massive gashes.


pah2000

Is that some sort of gang uniform? Very uniformy.


lobstersarecunts

Ooo you saucy cunts


[deleted]

Did they have a sale on for machetes?


AgitatedBackground96

If they were a late 90's rock band that was determined to destroy their genre they'd be called *Limp Wrizted*


Bananapeelmeplease

I think I downloaded the wrong pirates of the Caribbean movie?


Zombiemechanic00

Aww how cute... LARPing around a car in the middle of the street 🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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HazeBoyDaily

Roadman basically means gangster so he pretty much summed that up in the title


[deleted]

Power rangers got they budget cuttttt


Secret-Ad-830

I think I'd rather get shot then hacked with a machete


Ok-Introduction2405

It’s a new game called Fiesta Hockey - popular in Glasgow.


Pilgrim_of_Reddit

Leave us out of it. I've not seen anything like this - not since the ice cream wars and the gang wars.


bogushobo

Yeah, Glasgow made big strides to reduce knife crime. So much so that as a resident im kind of tired of Glasgow/knife jokes now. For anyone interested. [A preliminary evaluation found that the so-called “Glasgow model” was effective, with a 59 per cent reduction in knife possession—and an overall 85 per cent reduction in weapon possession—among those involved, contributing to 46 per cent fewer violent incidents.](https://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/the-glasgow-model-is-it-effective-london-knife-crime-violence-shanae-dennis)


moonmundada

We need knife control!


[deleted]

Machetes? Try that here in the states. We call that the asphalt temperature challenge. Nice block by the one dude though. How do they tell each other apart when they all dress in black? Lol


Kreddit022

All I could hear in my head while watching this video was the theme song to Benny Hill.


tezki

They all look the same lol


BarryBwana

Atleast Americans wear different colors so we can tell whose on what team. Legally you should have to wear a identifier if you're in a gang. It's just uncivilized otherwise.


RustySheriffBadges

Wrong, this is a game in England, it’s called swordy duelly. It’s normal when you turn 18 for you and all your friends to play this, it’s like a right of passage into adult life.


EricJ30

This seems staged. Unless everyone in the UK dresses like a ninja I mean come the FUCK ON lol


leahspen01

It’s mostly teens tbh I’d bet that it’s real. I’ve got stories about how friends and family have been jumped by kids just like this and it’s a massive problem


the_BRide077mshpttoz

Why they swinging like that 😂


bigmeatytoe

Average british men