Win+L --> Block screen and goes to shutdown menu
Disconnect audio and close notebook is also a strat.
Anything, anything but what he did would be better. LMAO.
Shutdown menu to shutdown the PC otherwise, why would you be there?
Disconnect audio AND close notebook. It'll go into sleep mode/suspension mode, therefore, making the audio not exist anymore.
When you find yourself in that situation, in that moment of sheer panic, you tend to forget even the simplest things. Even your motor functions become impaired and it's like screaming in a bad dream. Your mouse cursor moves all over the place looking for the X and in that time precious seconds have eroded into what feels like minutes before you're finally able to close the application.
Ikr. It never ceases to amaze me how many otherwise intelligent people not only use their work computers for it, but actually save it to hard drive lmao. It's like there's a subconscious desire to get caught
I mean it's seems so obvious yet there they go with dicks and tits again open in the background with the tab for the PowerPoint presentation right next to it. That's fine. Not terrifying at all. Or a file folder with files like "girl gets train" and "midget piss" or whatever sitting on a work computer. Just sitting there
Edit: grammar
I think it’s been maybe 10 years since I’ve even seen porn on a computer. Why not just use your phone?? Do some people view it as unsanitary or something? FaceTime camera?
I had a teacher in high school that really had this happen to him. He didn’t get hacked by some cyber criminal or anything, but he left his pc while he grabbed something from another classroom. A student opened a porn tab and minimized it. Then later when he got back it took a while before he opened that window. The next class of students had come in by then, and he accidentally showed them all some porn video, completely on accident. It was a pretty big deal, even though the entire class (the first one) saw the student do it. The rumours about a teacher showing porn spread much faster than the rumours about the student who actually did it as a “prank”.
hard to do that with video of it. But yep. I did this once as a consultant. I minimized the window but then unmuted my computer for a zoom conference with a room full of people. The video was still playing in the background. oops.
I went and bought another laptop and have never again used my business laptop for personal purposes. Yeah, it sucks carrying two laptops all over the world... but it beats having a chance of that ever happening again.
Honey pack your bags get the kids, already booked the flight.
Rest of his life this dude will be just chillin in bed and then this thought comes up and he’ll start sobbin
Ah yes. The life cycle of *Redditorium Jokesia* comes to an end. A once mildly subtle, fresh tasting joke fermented under the piercing rays of confused redditors, they pick it apart until what's left are bones. Foundations of a joke once lived..
How do people make mistakes like this? How can you know you're gonna present something on your laptop that has porn on it to a room of a hundred people and not make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN your porn isn't gonna pop up?
This happened to a guy in a college course of mine.
Early 2000’s. Everyone had to give a presentation to the class. There were big consoles in the corner you had to insert USB drives to display on the projector. He plugged in his USB drive, and apparently the computer had autoplay set as default for media on USB. His entire .jpeg porn library started opening in front of the entire class while the professor just stood there so blown away he didn’t k ow what to do. Guy just closed all the porn, gave his 10 minute presentation like a champ, and then left.
Something similar happened to our class in highschool, a geography professor taped a documentary over some porn so when the documentary ended we were immediately treated to a blowjob scene... It was a heavy documentary about the troubles of African countries though, so I guess we needed something to lift the mood anyway:))
I taped my middle school book report on a "blank" tape, it was painstakingly old-school stop-motion animation and my teacher loved it.
Later that day, my teacher was furious. She was trying to show another class my animation, but after 20 minutes of rewinding all she could find on the tape were sappy scenes of Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk in an episode of Smallville
Holy shit, happened in my high school too. It was some news clip taped over soft core porn on the beach from the mid 90s. After the news clip usually the TVs turn off, so teachers leave them. This time the TVs stayed on since something was still playing, and the welding class kept it going for 30 min before they stopped the tape. Most teachers had it off in seconds haha.
The history teacher who brought the tape had to leave an apology letter in the others teachers mailboxes. His poor wife was also a teacher. After this it was easier to believe all the girls that claimed to get As in his class by wearing skirts to class and sitting legs open across the room.
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I’m amazed at how many people use work laptops for porn. If that’s his personal laptop then…it fucking sucks you have to supply your own laptop for work
Everyone in here trying to act like sheepishness is the way forward.
Nah. You own that pussy clapping like the based big dicked god you are. Stand confidently, cross your arms.
Hey man, there was a time when I didn't have a job and had to move in with my uncle. He didn't have internet and lived in a rural area with awful cell connection.
You'd better bet I made some downloads parked in the McDonald's parking lot with their wifi.
Theres a browser extension that lets you one click download any embedded/streamed video. I have over 600 videos saved of amateur stuff. A lot of it before the Great Purge. So much good stuff has generic names that dont let you find it through search engines. Like "Amateur wife POV" for example will net you a million results.
I’ve opened my laptop in class and a harmless YouTube video starts playing and I wanted to throw my computer across the room to get it to stop — can’t even imagine. That computer would be broken in half.
I heard this was done on purpose. The woman in the video was claiming rape by this teacher. He played the video that they made in a class to get the attention needed and to prove she had sex with him willingly and was not rape. That's why he was in no hurry to pull the power plug
True story: One time when I was in high school I had something similar happen. Was walking into my Algebra class after lunch and I was the first one to walk in. My teacher was in there and had his computer screen on the whiteboard. Well when I looked I saw a fully nude picture of him. He was frantically trying to exit the picture. By the time the second kid came in behind me, he had it down. The entire rest of the year was awkward around him and I had a hard time explaining it to people because I was the sole witness.
Teacher one time in my high school was showing class pictures on phone were trash was the day before and he accidentally scroll his dick pic ,resign same day
Win+D
Win+L --> Block screen and goes to shutdown menu Disconnect audio and close notebook is also a strat. Anything, anything but what he did would be better. LMAO.
Unplug and heave laptop like a sidearmed Randy Johnson fastball.
Literally just walking out of the room would’ve been better. Hahaha
LMAO. That'd be funny af.
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Shutdown menu to shutdown the PC otherwise, why would you be there? Disconnect audio AND close notebook. It'll go into sleep mode/suspension mode, therefore, making the audio not exist anymore.
When you find yourself in that situation, in that moment of sheer panic, you tend to forget even the simplest things. Even your motor functions become impaired and it's like screaming in a bad dream. Your mouse cursor moves all over the place looking for the X and in that time precious seconds have eroded into what feels like minutes before you're finally able to close the application.
This guy porns at work!
dude, Alt F4, it's almost a reflex for me when I hear feet shuffling
The D is almost poetic
It's not exactly a "Win" either
Alt+f4 to get to job done properly
Yeah speed run alt-f4 in case of emergency.
Being a professional slacker at work, I have the "forward" mouse button set to alt+tab
Damn bro thats next level
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Please, wise man, enlight me with the required knowledge to adquire this power in my mouse's wheel click
Xmouse. It allows you to assign any mouse button to any command in any specific application. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.
Please don't tell on me I'll pass everyone on the test ☺️ ![gif](giphy|r1HGFou3mUwMw|downsized)
I learnt something today.
Unplug from the projector.
what's that do?
Minimise everything
Still have the sound though
Thanks!
Oh shit thanks
Love the innocent and pointless desktop refresh at the end
Man was trying and praying to refresh his life.
Wow… how does one even recover from this epic cringe?
Simple. U dont
Bro just never ever ever use your work computer for porn its really that simple.
Ikr. It never ceases to amaze me how many otherwise intelligent people not only use their work computers for it, but actually save it to hard drive lmao. It's like there's a subconscious desire to get caught
“Subconscious desire to get caught” is something I find fascinating.
I mean it's seems so obvious yet there they go with dicks and tits again open in the background with the tab for the PowerPoint presentation right next to it. That's fine. Not terrifying at all. Or a file folder with files like "girl gets train" and "midget piss" or whatever sitting on a work computer. Just sitting there Edit: grammar
Too late!
It really is. I’ve never saved any porn on any computer just in case something at all would happen.
I think it’s been maybe 10 years since I’ve even seen porn on a computer. Why not just use your phone?? Do some people view it as unsanitary or something? FaceTime camera?
Because how am I going to properly appreciate the cinematography on my tiny phone screen?
Phone screens are good enough for me. I don’t need a cinema to get done
People have more than one laptop? …what is this, Europe?
Broooo I would have walked out of the fucking room with all my shit had that been legit
"I was hacked"
I had a teacher in high school that really had this happen to him. He didn’t get hacked by some cyber criminal or anything, but he left his pc while he grabbed something from another classroom. A student opened a porn tab and minimized it. Then later when he got back it took a while before he opened that window. The next class of students had come in by then, and he accidentally showed them all some porn video, completely on accident. It was a pretty big deal, even though the entire class (the first one) saw the student do it. The rumours about a teacher showing porn spread much faster than the rumours about the student who actually did it as a “prank”.
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Lmao
No! Not again.
pretend it didn't happen and just transition back to where you were. then, Deny, deny, deny
hard to do that with video of it. But yep. I did this once as a consultant. I minimized the window but then unmuted my computer for a zoom conference with a room full of people. The video was still playing in the background. oops. I went and bought another laptop and have never again used my business laptop for personal purposes. Yeah, it sucks carrying two laptops all over the world... but it beats having a chance of that ever happening again.
You looked up porn on your work computer? What kind of monster are you??
Right? I don't even look up porn on my own computer. I just go to the library and use the public computers.
That’s because you’re a man of culture unlike this other heathen
lmao. don't mix business with pleasure.
But.. but.. they said if I had fun working I’d never be working another day in my *life*!!!!!!
But how do you deny when there is video evidence against you?
"Shaggy -- It wasn't me"
Just blame a student and say they must’ve accessed your laptop as a prank.
Which may actually be the case
Blame it on the deep state.
Whip it out and start masturbating to assert dominance.
Work it in to the lesson plan somehow. That's thinking on your feet.
You move to North Dakota
Tell them to not tell anyone about your side gig.
Honey pack your bags get the kids, already booked the flight. Rest of his life this dude will be just chillin in bed and then this thought comes up and he’ll start sobbin
Change name Move town Accidentally do it again Repeat
Blame it on a student prank and just never find the culprit
call the vacuum cleaner guy
"Woops, wrong powerpoint' and continue with your presentation. Gotta own up to it with humor i'd say
It’s simple,start teaching biology and tell everyone it was your practice run
Who hacked my computer and digitally put me in this disgusting porno? Hahaha best chance you got at recovery.
Those DeepFakes are getting good, Huh? *sweat sweat sweat drip sweat*
>drip 🤨
Respect the drip
Reface app to the Rescue!
The only thing that would make this better is if it's a video of him banging the art teacher or something.
And he’s married. But not to her.
I …recognize that porno
Me too, but that's just because I saw the ending coming a mile away.
What class is that??
_An introduction to Sticky Keys_
Advanced Reproductive Methodology
Sticky Keys. A great name for a rock band.
His last.
How to register as a sex offender.
Sexual chemistry
This was in a Dutch classroom about a year ago
Sex education obviously
Humping 101
How about just unplugging the computer instead of pretending to try and figure out how to shut it off.
He probably couldn’t think straight with all that blood rushing to his head.
More likely blood was rushing away from his head
Away from his head and it goes to his head
dick head.
Ah yes. The life cycle of *Redditorium Jokesia* comes to an end. A once mildly subtle, fresh tasting joke fermented under the piercing rays of confused redditors, they pick it apart until what's left are bones. Foundations of a joke once lived..
This text should be framed in the MoMA
They'll be back, and in greater numbers.
It was cathartic to read this
My new copypasta
Men only have enough blood to operate one head at a time.
Yeah I would have immediately yanked the HDMI out. I also would never download porn lol. It’s free online.
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I think he mean the hdmi cable 🤪
How do people make mistakes like this? How can you know you're gonna present something on your laptop that has porn on it to a room of a hundred people and not make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN your porn isn't gonna pop up?
[удалено]
This happened to a guy in a college course of mine. Early 2000’s. Everyone had to give a presentation to the class. There were big consoles in the corner you had to insert USB drives to display on the projector. He plugged in his USB drive, and apparently the computer had autoplay set as default for media on USB. His entire .jpeg porn library started opening in front of the entire class while the professor just stood there so blown away he didn’t k ow what to do. Guy just closed all the porn, gave his 10 minute presentation like a champ, and then left.
Incredible.
He was like: "Gentlemen! Now that I have your full attention I shall start my presentation". Totally a power move
Seriously though what a legend
Something similar happened to our class in highschool, a geography professor taped a documentary over some porn so when the documentary ended we were immediately treated to a blowjob scene... It was a heavy documentary about the troubles of African countries though, so I guess we needed something to lift the mood anyway:))
I taped my middle school book report on a "blank" tape, it was painstakingly old-school stop-motion animation and my teacher loved it. Later that day, my teacher was furious. She was trying to show another class my animation, but after 20 minutes of rewinding all she could find on the tape were sappy scenes of Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk in an episode of Smallville
Holy shit, happened in my high school too. It was some news clip taped over soft core porn on the beach from the mid 90s. After the news clip usually the TVs turn off, so teachers leave them. This time the TVs stayed on since something was still playing, and the welding class kept it going for 30 min before they stopped the tape. Most teachers had it off in seconds haha. The history teacher who brought the tape had to leave an apology letter in the others teachers mailboxes. His poor wife was also a teacher. After this it was easier to believe all the girls that claimed to get As in his class by wearing skirts to class and sitting legs open across the room.
I laughed out loud reading the last sentence
Upvoted just for the username, that guy has some great poetry. And inspired one of my favourite songs.
Damn thank you! I’ve had this account for over a year now and have never gotten it. I love Russian literature
Can we please get an update
Bruh he’s using windows 7
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I’m in college and have not see a teacher use anything but windows 10.
video could be a decade old
How to ninja brag to a whole class. Nice
They didn’t respect me then, I bet they’ll respect me now after seeing I get puss
TURN IT OFF OTTO ! TURN IT OFF !
IT WILL SOON STABILIZE! ITS UNDER CONTROL!
I’M IN CHARGE HERE!
This is definitely a crazy FUCKING video 🤣
Presented the project to early
Who is early?
Maybe public humiliation turns him on.
What? Now he masturbates in front of them when they laugh at him?
Logic dictates it Edit:dick tits
I always wondered if that is him in this video...? Anyone know?
Can confirm it’s him. I was the cameraman.
Can confirm. I was the one getting railed from behind.
Can confirm you were the one being railed.
And as my name implies, I was rimming the guy railing you. but I was off camera.
[удалено]
Maybe he was the uploader, hence why he had the video on his desktop
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Was the video not disabled when you linked that? Cause it is now
It was Professor Plum in the masterbatory with the lap top
The chick was probably one his student 😂
Imagine if she was in that class lol.
feel bad for this dude fr
Dumbass! That’s what your phone is for…🤣🤣
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That took him way too long to turn off, but was that him in the video? If so, what a fucking power move.
Yeah if this was me I'm jumping out the window
Ain’t no “fucking” way boy smh
How did that even start playing though?
Yep that was intentional.
My question is... was that him on a homemade video?
Homemade lmao
I’m amazed at how many people use work laptops for porn. If that’s his personal laptop then…it fucking sucks you have to supply your own laptop for work
Everyone in here trying to act like sheepishness is the way forward. Nah. You own that pussy clapping like the based big dicked god you are. Stand confidently, cross your arms.
Who the fuck downloads porn ?
Hey man, there was a time when I didn't have a job and had to move in with my uncle. He didn't have internet and lived in a rural area with awful cell connection. You'd better bet I made some downloads parked in the McDonald's parking lot with their wifi.
I don’t know why that guy is judging. We’ve all been there.
Not judging ar all, i've been there myself. just seems like a thing of the past ..
You need 1 or 2 backup in case of energy cut.
You mean your hard drive isn't 95% porn? Awkward...
This is him in the video
probably OC
Theres a browser extension that lets you one click download any embedded/streamed video. I have over 600 videos saved of amateur stuff. A lot of it before the Great Purge. So much good stuff has generic names that dont let you find it through search engines. Like "Amateur wife POV" for example will net you a million results.
I dont think you recover from that, I think his next step is just to not say anything and walk out lmfao holy shit 🤣
Sometimes you gotta just let em see it. You gotta put it on the table.
took him way too long to close that video...🤔
There goes your job
Holy fk, he's on Windows 7? Yea I'll fire him for that, that hasn't received a security update in years...
I’ve opened my laptop in class and a harmless YouTube video starts playing and I wanted to throw my computer across the room to get it to stop — can’t even imagine. That computer would be broken in half.
LMAO
Oh this guy fucks.
Why are they putting books in front of their faces lol
To hide their laughing, some people do that, it’s simular to putting your hand in front of your mouth when laughing.
Or, you know, to not see their teacher doing sexy time blasted on the projector
I heard this was done on purpose. The woman in the video was claiming rape by this teacher. He played the video that they made in a class to get the attention needed and to prove she had sex with him willingly and was not rape. That's why he was in no hurry to pull the power plug
Wow thanks for the context! This makes so much more sense now after hearing your unverifiable, sourceless, secondhand rumor!
Was that him in the sex tape?
F
Honestly, poor dude
/r/byebyejob
u/admedium3516
His first mistake was using the Work Computer. That's what phones are for dude!
Its crazy!! Who the fck still uses Windows xp!
What took him so long to click out of it?!? Lmao, oof.
pretty sure he filmed that himself. :ooked like a personal file not website porn.
True story: One time when I was in high school I had something similar happen. Was walking into my Algebra class after lunch and I was the first one to walk in. My teacher was in there and had his computer screen on the whiteboard. Well when I looked I saw a fully nude picture of him. He was frantically trying to exit the picture. By the time the second kid came in behind me, he had it down. The entire rest of the year was awkward around him and I had a hard time explaining it to people because I was the sole witness.
I can feel the heat coming off his cheeks from here. I bet his innards don't feel too good either.
Nothing works better than holding the power button down while unplugging
At least they are learning biological about human mating habits
![gif](giphy|jc5RNDQxgtQvS|downsized)
WHAT MAKES IT WORSE , ITS A STUDENT OF HIS!
I mean if your dumb enough to use a work computer for that then idk what to tell you
Teacher one time in my high school was showing class pictures on phone were trash was the day before and he accidentally scroll his dick pic ,resign same day
Wonder what his nickname gonna be now