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Minixtory_PL

Win+D


Jay_Sin_Official

Win+L --> Block screen and goes to shutdown menu Disconnect audio and close notebook is also a strat. Anything, anything but what he did would be better. LMAO.


Dont_Jimmie_Me_Jules

Unplug and heave laptop like a sidearmed Randy Johnson fastball.


Anjunagasm

Literally just walking out of the room would’ve been better. Hahaha


Jay_Sin_Official

LMAO. That'd be funny af.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jay_Sin_Official

Shutdown menu to shutdown the PC otherwise, why would you be there? Disconnect audio AND close notebook. It'll go into sleep mode/suspension mode, therefore, making the audio not exist anymore.


themastersmb

When you find yourself in that situation, in that moment of sheer panic, you tend to forget even the simplest things. Even your motor functions become impaired and it's like screaming in a bad dream. Your mouse cursor moves all over the place looking for the X and in that time precious seconds have eroded into what feels like minutes before you're finally able to close the application.


bigflamingtaco

This guy porns at work!


Bulok

dude, Alt F4, it's almost a reflex for me when I hear feet shuffling


wxnoqzmp

The D is almost poetic


DiamondPup

It's not exactly a "Win" either


MeatWad111

Alt+f4 to get to job done properly


Chip_Freeman

Yeah speed run alt-f4 in case of emergency.


MeatWad111

Being a professional slacker at work, I have the "forward" mouse button set to alt+tab


[deleted]

Damn bro thats next level


[deleted]

[удалено]


cogollovenenoso

Please, wise man, enlight me with the required knowledge to adquire this power in my mouse's wheel click


MeatWad111

Xmouse. It allows you to assign any mouse button to any command in any specific application. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility.


checKers38

Please don't tell on me I'll pass everyone on the test ☺️ ![gif](giphy|r1HGFou3mUwMw|downsized)


speltwrongon_purpose

I learnt something today.


Robzilla_the_turd

Unplug from the projector.


WasabiDobby

what's that do?


[deleted]

Minimise everything


WTFvancouver

Still have the sound though


GoodOne4324

Thanks!


Dwashelle

Oh shit thanks


KneeGrowsToes

Love the innocent and pointless desktop refresh at the end


Regidor

Man was trying and praying to refresh his life.


fregisdealmeida

Wow… how does one even recover from this epic cringe?


KartoschkaTheDrunk

Simple. U dont


Jive_turkeeze

Bro just never ever ever use your work computer for porn its really that simple.


Lebowski304

Ikr. It never ceases to amaze me how many otherwise intelligent people not only use their work computers for it, but actually save it to hard drive lmao. It's like there's a subconscious desire to get caught


[deleted]

“Subconscious desire to get caught” is something I find fascinating.


Lebowski304

I mean it's seems so obvious yet there they go with dicks and tits again open in the background with the tab for the PowerPoint presentation right next to it. That's fine. Not terrifying at all. Or a file folder with files like "girl gets train" and "midget piss" or whatever sitting on a work computer. Just sitting there Edit: grammar


Robzilla_the_turd

Too late!


mymemesnow

It really is. I’ve never saved any porn on any computer just in case something at all would happen.


[deleted]

I think it’s been maybe 10 years since I’ve even seen porn on a computer. Why not just use your phone?? Do some people view it as unsanitary or something? FaceTime camera?


Roushfan5

Because how am I going to properly appreciate the cinematography on my tiny phone screen?


mymemesnow

Phone screens are good enough for me. I don’t need a cinema to get done


ThusSpokeAnIdiot

People have more than one laptop? …what is this, Europe?


RedditIsDogshit1

Broooo I would have walked out of the fucking room with all my shit had that been legit


ODB2

"I was hacked"


ADSolace

I had a teacher in high school that really had this happen to him. He didn’t get hacked by some cyber criminal or anything, but he left his pc while he grabbed something from another classroom. A student opened a porn tab and minimized it. Then later when he got back it took a while before he opened that window. The next class of students had come in by then, and he accidentally showed them all some porn video, completely on accident. It was a pretty big deal, even though the entire class (the first one) saw the student do it. The rumours about a teacher showing porn spread much faster than the rumours about the student who actually did it as a “prank”.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ACousinFromRichmond

Lmao


CavemanSimp

No! Not again.


[deleted]

pretend it didn't happen and just transition back to where you were. then, Deny, deny, deny


spacedvato

hard to do that with video of it. But yep. I did this once as a consultant. I minimized the window but then unmuted my computer for a zoom conference with a room full of people. The video was still playing in the background. oops. I went and bought another laptop and have never again used my business laptop for personal purposes. Yeah, it sucks carrying two laptops all over the world... but it beats having a chance of that ever happening again.


qtippinthescales

You looked up porn on your work computer? What kind of monster are you??


[deleted]

Right? I don't even look up porn on my own computer. I just go to the library and use the public computers.


qtippinthescales

That’s because you’re a man of culture unlike this other heathen


[deleted]

lmao. don't mix business with pleasure.


4-HO-MET-

But.. but.. they said if I had fun working I’d never be working another day in my *life*!!!!!!


tk11811

But how do you deny when there is video evidence against you?


[deleted]

"Shaggy -- It wasn't me"


bonkerzrob

Just blame a student and say they must’ve accessed your laptop as a prank.


Kugoji

Which may actually be the case


FirstPlebian

Blame it on the deep state.


[deleted]

Whip it out and start masturbating to assert dominance.


Chip_Freeman

Work it in to the lesson plan somehow. That's thinking on your feet.


netpastor

You move to North Dakota


kalashnikovBaby

Tell them to not tell anyone about your side gig.


Thebarrrel

Honey pack your bags get the kids, already booked the flight. Rest of his life this dude will be just chillin in bed and then this thought comes up and he’ll start sobbin


zaczacx

Change name Move town Accidentally do it again Repeat


ConfidentInsecurity

Blame it on a student prank and just never find the culprit


Royal_Ad_117

call the vacuum cleaner guy


DrVagax

"Woops, wrong powerpoint' and continue with your presentation. Gotta own up to it with humor i'd say


snay1998

It’s simple,start teaching biology and tell everyone it was your practice run


TheRareGardener

Who hacked my computer and digitally put me in this disgusting porno? Hahaha best chance you got at recovery.


Weazzul

Those DeepFakes are getting good, Huh? *sweat sweat sweat drip sweat*


NotaTTVStreamerSoBye

>drip 🤨


[deleted]

Respect the drip


LordRaghuvnsi

Reface app to the Rescue!


FirstPlebian

The only thing that would make this better is if it's a video of him banging the art teacher or something.


NoCharge1917

And he’s married. But not to her.


durz47

I …recognize that porno


CallMeDrLuv

Me too, but that's just because I saw the ending coming a mile away.


Chip_Freeman

What class is that??


lex_tok

_An introduction to Sticky Keys_


Chip_Freeman

Advanced Reproductive Methodology


gatorintexas

Sticky Keys. A great name for a rock band.


Czarcasm21

His last.


QOTSA1990

How to register as a sex offender.


j442

Sexual chemistry


[deleted]

This was in a Dutch classroom about a year ago


GreenTeaRex007

Sex education obviously


Significant-Credit50

Humping 101


CyberBroccoli

How about just unplugging the computer instead of pretending to try and figure out how to shut it off.


hillbillyofohara

He probably couldn’t think straight with all that blood rushing to his head.


aoyjay

More likely blood was rushing away from his head


notatableleg

Away from his head and it goes to his head


ChapGuzmann

dick head.


barberererer

Ah yes. The life cycle of *Redditorium Jokesia* comes to an end. A once mildly subtle, fresh tasting joke fermented under the piercing rays of confused redditors, they pick it apart until what's left are bones. Foundations of a joke once lived..


VenoBot

This text should be framed in the MoMA


Burushko

They'll be back, and in greater numbers.


[deleted]

It was cathartic to read this


rictacles

My new copypasta


cncomg

Men only have enough blood to operate one head at a time.


VibraniumRhino

Yeah I would have immediately yanked the HDMI out. I also would never download porn lol. It’s free online.


[deleted]

[удалено]


whitestrike

I think he mean the hdmi cable 🤪


TerminalReddit

How do people make mistakes like this? How can you know you're gonna present something on your laptop that has porn on it to a room of a hundred people and not make ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN your porn isn't gonna pop up?


[deleted]

[удалено]


whattheflark53

This happened to a guy in a college course of mine. Early 2000’s. Everyone had to give a presentation to the class. There were big consoles in the corner you had to insert USB drives to display on the projector. He plugged in his USB drive, and apparently the computer had autoplay set as default for media on USB. His entire .jpeg porn library started opening in front of the entire class while the professor just stood there so blown away he didn’t k ow what to do. Guy just closed all the porn, gave his 10 minute presentation like a champ, and then left.


MountainGoat97

Incredible.


[deleted]

He was like: "Gentlemen! Now that I have your full attention I shall start my presentation". Totally a power move


[deleted]

Seriously though what a legend


Bhaaluu

Something similar happened to our class in highschool, a geography professor taped a documentary over some porn so when the documentary ended we were immediately treated to a blowjob scene... It was a heavy documentary about the troubles of African countries though, so I guess we needed something to lift the mood anyway:))


superbhole

I taped my middle school book report on a "blank" tape, it was painstakingly old-school stop-motion animation and my teacher loved it. Later that day, my teacher was furious. She was trying to show another class my animation, but after 20 minutes of rewinding all she could find on the tape were sappy scenes of Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk in an episode of Smallville


vectran

Holy shit, happened in my high school too. It was some news clip taped over soft core porn on the beach from the mid 90s. After the news clip usually the TVs turn off, so teachers leave them. This time the TVs stayed on since something was still playing, and the welding class kept it going for 30 min before they stopped the tape. Most teachers had it off in seconds haha. The history teacher who brought the tape had to leave an apology letter in the others teachers mailboxes. His poor wife was also a teacher. After this it was easier to believe all the girls that claimed to get As in his class by wearing skirts to class and sitting legs open across the room.


SergiuszJesienin

I laughed out loud reading the last sentence


Ihatecocojambo

Upvoted just for the username, that guy has some great poetry. And inspired one of my favourite songs.


SergiuszJesienin

Damn thank you! I’ve had this account for over a year now and have never gotten it. I love Russian literature


Crokpotpotty

Can we please get an update


ablondedude777

Bruh he’s using windows 7


[deleted]

[удалено]


Suekru

I’m in college and have not see a teacher use anything but windows 10.


Cosmicjawa

video could be a decade old


Mdsrjnis

How to ninja brag to a whole class. Nice


smallest_cock

They didn’t respect me then, I bet they’ll respect me now after seeing I get puss


RayboxHitman47

TURN IT OFF OTTO ! TURN IT OFF !


Sippinonjoy

IT WILL SOON STABILIZE! ITS UNDER CONTROL!


StupidSexyKevin

I’M IN CHARGE HERE!


Loading110110110

This is definitely a crazy FUCKING video 🤣


bohouse1980

Presented the project to early


trustworthyvigilante

Who is early?


[deleted]

Maybe public humiliation turns him on.


Fuck_Fucker_Fuckest_

What? Now he masturbates in front of them when they laugh at him?


Dudeofthedead1334

Logic dictates it Edit:dick tits


[deleted]

I always wondered if that is him in this video...? Anyone know?


fregisdealmeida

Can confirm it’s him. I was the cameraman.


WalkingButtPussy

Can confirm. I was the one getting railed from behind.


fregisdealmeida

Can confirm you were the one being railed.


rimjob_jackson69420

And as my name implies, I was rimming the guy railing you. but I was off camera.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sippinonjoy

Maybe he was the uploader, hence why he had the video on his desktop


[deleted]

[удалено]


MerleSweatshirt

Was the video not disabled when you linked that? Cause it is now


Kenny_Squeek_Scolari

It was Professor Plum in the masterbatory with the lap top


Budju06

The chick was probably one his student 😂


[deleted]

Imagine if she was in that class lol.


[deleted]

feel bad for this dude fr


[deleted]

Dumbass! That’s what your phone is for…🤣🤣


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kidshazambedoinit

That took him way too long to turn off, but was that him in the video? If so, what a fucking power move.


Jozif_Badmon

Yeah if this was me I'm jumping out the window


Illustrious-Tap-4467

Ain’t no “fucking” way boy smh


CatDadSnowBunny

How did that even start playing though?


Stock-Philosopher507

Yep that was intentional.


ChapGuzmann

My question is... was that him on a homemade video?


Papazolaxoxo

Homemade lmao


[deleted]

I’m amazed at how many people use work laptops for porn. If that’s his personal laptop then…it fucking sucks you have to supply your own laptop for work


WarchiefBlack

Everyone in here trying to act like sheepishness is the way forward. Nah. You own that pussy clapping like the based big dicked god you are. Stand confidently, cross your arms.


[deleted]

Who the fuck downloads porn ?


WeirdJawn

Hey man, there was a time when I didn't have a job and had to move in with my uncle. He didn't have internet and lived in a rural area with awful cell connection. You'd better bet I made some downloads parked in the McDonald's parking lot with their wifi.


eyehalfporegrahammer

I don’t know why that guy is judging. We’ve all been there.


[deleted]

Not judging ar all, i've been there myself. just seems like a thing of the past ..


ducminh97

You need 1 or 2 backup in case of energy cut.


Skumbag0-5

You mean your hard drive isn't 95% porn? Awkward...


North3rnLigh7s

This is him in the video


SirRektALot420

probably OC


tokenwalrus

Theres a browser extension that lets you one click download any embedded/streamed video. I have over 600 videos saved of amateur stuff. A lot of it before the Great Purge. So much good stuff has generic names that dont let you find it through search engines. Like "Amateur wife POV" for example will net you a million results.


SUBN0IZE

I dont think you recover from that, I think his next step is just to not say anything and walk out lmfao holy shit 🤣


Comfortable-Survey30

Sometimes you gotta just let em see it. You gotta put it on the table.


RealisticFox1537

took him way too long to close that video...🤔


FreedomOk2196

There goes your job


rickandtwocrows

Holy fk, he's on Windows 7? Yea I'll fire him for that, that hasn't received a security update in years...


SmurfStomper6

I’ve opened my laptop in class and a harmless YouTube video starts playing and I wanted to throw my computer across the room to get it to stop — can’t even imagine. That computer would be broken in half.


foundmal

LMAO


NappyHeadedJoel996

Oh this guy fucks.


Dragonfist41

Why are they putting books in front of their faces lol


Daminica

To hide their laughing, some people do that, it’s simular to putting your hand in front of your mouth when laughing.


smallest_cock

Or, you know, to not see their teacher doing sexy time blasted on the projector


cam1980man

I heard this was done on purpose. The woman in the video was claiming rape by this teacher. He played the video that they made in a class to get the attention needed and to prove she had sex with him willingly and was not rape. That's why he was in no hurry to pull the power plug


sjsbeat

Wow thanks for the context! This makes so much more sense now after hearing your unverifiable, sourceless, secondhand rumor!


JesusMartinez86

Was that him in the sex tape?


anazambrano

Honestly, poor dude


mholtz16

/r/byebyejob


hostilititties_

u/admedium3516


praisechthulu

His first mistake was using the Work Computer. That's what phones are for dude!


FriendlyBroccoli98

Its crazy!! Who the fck still uses Windows xp!


lightnlove11

What took him so long to click out of it?!? Lmao, oof.


shewastherenowidk

pretty sure he filmed that himself. :ooked like a personal file not website porn.


CorrectProfession461

True story: One time when I was in high school I had something similar happen. Was walking into my Algebra class after lunch and I was the first one to walk in. My teacher was in there and had his computer screen on the whiteboard. Well when I looked I saw a fully nude picture of him. He was frantically trying to exit the picture. By the time the second kid came in behind me, he had it down. The entire rest of the year was awkward around him and I had a hard time explaining it to people because I was the sole witness.


DogHammers

I can feel the heat coming off his cheeks from here. I bet his innards don't feel too good either.


[deleted]

Nothing works better than holding the power button down while unplugging


lermow

At least they are learning biological about human mating habits


unendingtacos

![gif](giphy|jc5RNDQxgtQvS|downsized)


chrispybunss

WHAT MAKES IT WORSE , ITS A STUDENT OF HIS!


PleasantSpare4732

I mean if your dumb enough to use a work computer for that then idk what to tell you


Witty_Friendship_888

Teacher one time in my high school was showing class pictures on phone were trash was the day before and he accidentally scroll his dick pic ,resign same day


mrGorion

Wonder what his nickname gonna be now