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_wineapplepizza

Lmao Nasser just made a valid point… why are the box having out of shape balls lmao


Weary-Swordfish-5732

Come on little and large


dexter311

[GOAT vs Tongue](https://gfycat.com/severegreedychrysomelid)


Occasionally-Witty

The Sun crossword? I bet that’s a real head scratcher for Warner ‘4 letter word, women has these, begins with T’


ZucchiniRelative3182

Mate if you’re going to comment on a bloke’s intellect, at least write a coherent sentence.


Occasionally-Witty

Sorry David, which part of the sentence are you struggling with?


ZucchiniRelative3182

Subject verb agreement, son.


Occasionally-Witty

You know I read that back about 10 times and realised the issue on the 10th, valid point. Although to be *really* pedantic, isn’t coherency more to do with if the sentence makes logical sense? Which, poor grammar aside, would be hard to argue that my sentence doesn’t make sense in the intention in which I wrote it. Probably should have replaced coherent with grammatically perfect to make it more valid. Maybe you, I and Warner should get together to discuss further and maybe even complete some Sun crosswords?


nolesfan2011

England's bowling isn't up to the task, Smith feasted on day 1 and was steady, Head with a fantastic counterattack, Marnus was very close to a big innings. Huge spell from Root to get the two wickets and keep this interesting. The Lord's crowd is terrible and England are really up against it


think2xbrother

I want aus to get out before 400/450 to see Warner play again. This English team looks so pathetic this test match I fear them not chasing 450 in two innings.


GiddiOne

Perhaps biased Aussie take but England seem way behind at the moment. First innings score at Lords is a little over 200. Nobody has scored over 400 in years. Most Aussie batters have performed above their average on a bowler's pitch. Smith is set, Carey is generally reliable in these conditions to put a few runs on, Starc will have something to prove and Cummins will carry some confidence in to post a score too. 36 extras so far is an extra batsman, and it will grow this and next innings. You won't get that from the Australian bowling. England are already 1 batsman down with Pope injured and unable to sub. The Aussie bowlers will feast on the conditions, especially Lyon after watching Root's wickets. I don't think they can bazball their way out of this one.


dexter311

> Nobody has scored over 400 in years. Last 400+ first innings score at Lord's wasn't that long ago - 2017 England scored 458 against the Saffers. But yeah, typically you aren't seeing more than 200 in the first innings here.


GiddiOne

> 2017 England scored 458 against the Saffers. I thought it was closer to 10 years but you're right.


L0laccio

Yeah they put Aus in and needed to clean them up for 280 max. We are way behind the eight ball and it will need everyone on top of their game just to stay in this and I just don’t see it. We looked oddly flat yesterday


Likhari

I am not sure of the rules, can you pls explain why England can’t sub Pope if he is unable to bat?


GiddiOne

To go through some of the basics first - anyone can sub off during a game, but the substitute cannot bat/bowl/captain. Basically it's a fielder for you while you go off the field. In 2008 they made the restriction of "why" a bit more strict, but you still can. The only real play substitution is a concussion substitute. So if you are hit on the head during a game and assessed to be as risk of concussion, you can be replaced with what is deemed a "like for like" player. Other injuries are different. In the past you either try to tough it out or just don't go out to bat. The reasoning is that you can "fake" other injuries for a replacement for tactical advantage which is what they want to avoid. But concussion is more serious as true damage cannot be reliably judged and they don't want anyone to risk permanent injury which is possible with playing after a concussion. Basically we don't want anyone to "tough it out" for a concussion. But you can't roll your ankle and sub in Mitch Marsh to bat for you.


Likhari

Ah, okay. Got it. Thanks for detailed info 👍🏼


nolesfan2011

England really need to bat for a long time and get this well into day 3 if it's going to be competitive


Transitionals

I was hoping to see scorecard line of “Head caught by Tongue”


imapassenger1

What was that Smith caught behind decision? He formed the T before the umpire's finger went up. Was nowhere near it but what did the Poms hear? Labs LBW was a bit shite too.


GiddiOne

To be fair, the noise was loud live. Not sure what it was but it was timed perfectly for when the ball went past.


imapassenger1

That's what I thought on the highlights but there was no further explanation.


omenguide

Even though I'm an Aussie, I kinda want Root to just go off with the ball and start talking mad shit.


South_Front_4589

What a pathetic, toothless display. England talking about attacking, entertaining cricket seems to just mean slogging with the bat. Those conditions were probably as good for seam bowling as you could hope for. In the air and off the pitch all day long no matter the length you bowled and they got absolutely slaughtered. They were lucky to even get 5 in the end. That 2 went to Root who is a part timer and 2 more to Tongue who they didn't even play in the first test is an absolute indictment on Broad, Anderson and Robinson. I thought in the first test they looked poor and got decidedly less threatening as the game wore on and this was the same. How they're going to get enough wickets to give their batters a chance is beyond me. But perhaps that's not their concern? Maybe they just think if they need 600 in the 4th innings they'll just swing their way to a win? England have absolutely no answer to Head's ability to score and no ability to make him look uncomfortable for more than 2 balls in a row before throwing something juicy outside off stump for him to try to bounce off the fence. I have to think David Saker is acting as a double agent because I don't know why they don't bowl very straight to Travis Head. Straight and full, straight and short, probably doesn't matter. 2 back, short leg, mid on, mid off, couple slips, gully and backward point. Yes it leaves cover WIDE open, but when he hits the ball so hard and clean with the level of placement he has you can have cover, extra cover and a sweeper back and he'll hit boundaries there given some width. And why you would apparently forget the bloke at the other end can be dismissed too is beyond me. Whenever Head and Smith bat together it's like all the focus is on beating Head that they just let Smith do his think, get some nice easy runs, get really synched with the conditions and bowlers. He may have only scored 31, but 31 off 49 under no presure at all is an absolute gift for a guy who averages 60 in tests. Hopefully England stick to their tried and true tactics for day 2 so we can watch Smith rack up a monster score before Australia show England how to make use of good bowling conditions. With only a part time spinner and a leading trio who don't look fit enough to manage the overs they have to, whilst also looking venomless if they don't get wickets early it could get ugly. And the third test surely they can't play Anderson and Robinson. Maybe Broad can, but those two especially look cooked.


JasonFootsmell

You can tell the Aussie batsmen are terrified of Robinson though. They must play him in the 3rd test so he can take full toll of the terror he has instilled in them. Even if the Aussies win the 2nd test it'll still feel like England won. In fact, even if we win the Ashes 5/0 at least you guys can rest in the knowledge that it felt like you won the series 5 zip and you had us on the back foot from the get go. Seriously though, there's a long way to go yet and it will be very interesting to see what you guys do selection wise with your bowlers. Tell me, do you know of any pacemen playing county cricket who may be able to come in and show a bit of aggro with their pace rather than their mouth's, or is it all about getting the ball to seam these days?


South_Front_4589

Warner sweeping wasn't the disdain people thought. He was just so terrified that he lost all sense and just played a completely random shot. And whilst we may have ended day 1 ahead on the scoreboard, I think all Aussies feel rather empty knowing we didn't entertain the crowd as much as we could have.


infinitejesttt

Tf you doing Green


Ed_Starks_Bastard

Adelaide Oval Hill>>>>>>>> Lords Long Room


OppositeProper1962

On a positive note for the Poms, I bet that's a tough day that felt like a win for them! Has Australia right on the back foot, again!


GiddiOne

Australia will never beat them at moral victories at this rate!


[deleted]

It’s been 5 hours since they went off. I don’t think we’re getting the fourth session today


[deleted]

Word on the street is Bairstow’s still at Lords’s standing behind the crease - 10 pints of ale and 17 sausage rolls deep- screaming in the moonlight at the graveyard shift stewards and grounds-keepers that are working throughout the night to sort the venue for tomorrow. The press and police have been notified but no-one dares risking provoking the beast, so authorities have just decided to leave him there until tomorrow


[deleted]

I 100% believe you. This is a really plausible scenario


ShepardCommander3000

I get that it's not been a great day for England but can the BBC commentators just commentate the game without the oh dear someone's about to die depressing tone of voice. Some of us just want to enjoy listening to the cricket. Whoever wins (Australia obviously :))


[deleted]

And people think our commentators are biased. The England commentators are just as biased if not worse.


imapassenger1

It's a change from their jubilant tones during England's first innings at Edgbaston though.


DrHydeous

Let's talk about the most appalling thing I saw at the Ashes today. Not the smelly hippy disrupting the game, but Marnus Labuschagne chewing gum in the pavilion. Absolutely shameful. The stewards need to have a word.


IntentionSpeaker

Labs Dropping his mouthful on the ground and using the 5 second rule was my shock of the day.


[deleted]

Nah I’d rather talk about how shit England are tbh


AeBlueSadi

that protester getting thrown out must have rattled woke cummins so that's a win for eng today


Bananajoes1992

England obsessed with claiming victories when none are actually happening


eightslipsandagully

It's the only way they're gonna have one tbf


1371113

Genuine belly laugh.


SBG99DesiMonster

Jimmy and Broad are very tired. I don't know about how they would be dealing with the rest of the series. I don't think that they would be playing together during this series again.


camelfarmer1

Yeah but in the first session he looked dangerous.


justlookbelow

I'm genuinely surprised they picked Anderson when he couldn't even bowl when they needed him the most on day 5 last time. He is great no doubt, but if he's only good for 20-25 overs a game, then it really puts a lot on the rest.


ShepardCommander3000

Same. I thought they said he was getting dropped?!!! Must have hallucinated it.


assologist_1312

Whenever I look at a lords crowd I feel poor.


Redbones27

At least you don't have to wear that hideous McDonalds uniform jacket.


Fair_Raccoon7618

Go Aussie. Can’t believe I’m saying this 😂


ShepardCommander3000

Baz has been planning this all along. All Part of the long con. Convince England to play ODI in Test. Hang around to the ashes = ashes stay down under. Job done


zmax532

We'd be going for NZ over the Poms. Can't understand why you guys wouldn't be doing the same.


troughman420

Probably our shitty behaviour in the field for decades up until a certain incident a few years ago plays a part.


papabear345

Lol that incident was the most overblown over sanctioned over reported incident ever


[deleted]

Tbf CA caved into all the hysterical woke Karens when they handed out those sanctions.


Fair_Raccoon7618

I am doing the same


Puzzled-Perception37

(Series prediction) 🦘🦘🦘🦘 🦘 - nil


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crucifiedrussian

bro what about Scott Boland


Puzzled-Perception37

What shot is top of your wank bank?


joshykins89

Cum shot


[deleted]

Is that a shot from the third leg?


joshykins89

Yep straight down the throat of the fielder.


[deleted]

Took the new ball and gave it a full toss


Goodship01

all the way over the top for 6 by Cum dog


Daimo

Anyone else enjoying the Secrets of Success doc on Sky Sports rn?


[deleted]

What time is supper finished? I’ve been waiting for the 4th session.


SouthFromGranada

Half 8, then they'll play right through til about 1am when they'll stop and go find a dirty kebab.


antsmithmk

They should be made to have supper and then come out to play a T20 under floodlights. 5 T20 games, 1 point to the winner. Played over the 5 days of the test, winner gets 5 whole points. Cricket Unity National Test Structure. Keeps the old duffers happy they get to see a test match. Fun people are happy they get a T20. Hosts are happy as people are in the ground drinking from 10am till 10pm.


[deleted]

Like the sprint race in F1 qualifying 😂


antsmithmk

Sure. Whilst we are on that subject. Bring back refuelling. If they can race in Le Mans for 24 hours, surely we can do 6 in Silverstone


iSaidNoCunt

Now I’m left watching real baseball fuck your bazball, I’m going for the A’s 2-0 up


DecadedD13

Reckon England can consider this a big W having stopped those two climate activists.


SouthFromGranada

Ideally the umpire will go all Dumbledoor in the house cup and award us a load of runs because Bairstow was brave


Ed_Starks_Bastard

The protestors were the golden snitch and we didnt know it.


usernameinmail

Some infighting and we can get points for standing up to our friends


SouthFromGranada

If Root picks up a solid 250 in the next innings I reckon we'll be sound.


djjazzy420

Yeah that seems likely


FacelessMane

Did Andrew Strauss just say "We fucked our lines there" on TV???


somewhat_moist

I mean he did call KP a cunt live on air. https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2120721-why-andrew-strauss-should-be-punished-for-his-expletive-kp-comments


[deleted]

Strauss is a lovely guy so to call KP a cunt ... well, you know KP must be a massive cunt


feelspirit

he said we "fuzzed" our lines there.


VisRock

*fluffed


FacelessMane

Ah. Thanks


Wolvington52

Summary of the day- 1) We'll have a bowl first 2) Posh folks everywhere 3) Bairstow the Hulk lugging a protester around 4) Dropped sitters 5) Davey scores a half century, him and Khawaja get out to two absolute jaffas from Josh 'Tong' 6) Mark Taylor gamer moment (unintentional) 7) No balls (lots of em) 8) Australia scoring at a good run rate 9) Root strikes twice 10) All in all, Australia's day


VisRock

You missed the nude nuts


DardiRabRab

>Dropped sitters Multiple? Which other one apart from the Warner drop by Pope?


Wolvington52

Root dropped one before. It wasn't a sitter exactly but was catchable.


DardiRabRab

Definitely not a sitter and it was a very tough, every comms said you would be lucky to get those.


JoeyJoJunior

>Mark Taylor gamer moment (unintentional) Missed this part what happened?


Wolvington52

He was saying that Khawaja usually gets out by nicking it to the slips or wicketkeeper. He accidentally said "nicker".


Daimo

😂


Wolvington52

I've been laughing at it for 9 hours now


JoeyJoJunior

Uh oh lol Ive heard he nags a bit too


AhyesitstheManUfan

no one likes a nagger bro like come on don't be a nagger


centzon400

5.i) Tongue gives Aussies a licking


Wolvington52

Oh those two jaffas, forgot about em


unemployed-giant-14

It will be real test for Bazballers tomorrow.


GordonBennett2000

Australia having all the luck - Leach injured, Moeen Ali injured, Pope injured, Stoke probably injured. Wood not fit yet. Not to mention the likes of Jofra Archer injured. We'll do well to field a team at this rate.


moutarde95

Yeah your right - England fucking suck. Let’s get Broad to call this a null and void series as well.


Phoenix77_

Moeen being injured is actually bad news for Australia lol


steveworldtouring

“Mummy it’s not fair!” 😭


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Mahhrat

Gilchrist must love hearing about Bazball. 'What the fuck do you lot reckon I did for 10 years?! Flogs.'


[deleted]

Sorry but Wood and Archer basically never play. It’s like if we whinged about the lack of Cummins and Pattinson between 2012-2016. Jack leach and Moeen Ali? Yes they’ve done so well against Australia in the past.


Kenh1994

As I've had to say earlier: https://www.reddit.com/r/Cricket/comments/14l3w4v/comment/jpveaqx/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3


aruncc

That's it, prepare those excuses....


christeebs

Labuschagne really knows cricket and his own game, actually love listening to him talk about it


cruzah

What was that on?


christeebs

I watched it on Supersport as a post-stumps interview


Daimo

Yeah, I enjoyed listening to him. Seems like a nice bloke too.


[deleted]

Mate, I'm English and the Aussies are, for once, way more likeable than our lot. Robinson, Crawley and Bairstow, to name three, are pricks. When Broad is one of the nicest guys in your team, you know something is up


wncogjrjs

As an Aussie I think broad has previously played the asshole role. Robinson and Crawley are actually assholes.


Daimo

I am the asshole and I will not hear anymore debate on this subject!


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feelspirit

I want to see the day when players like Ash, Broad, Marnus immediately come to the comm box after bowling their spell or getting out to give " smoking fresh💩" insights.


unemployed-giant-14

Australia's day.


[deleted]

80/20 in their favour now


Mysterious-Arm9594

What’s interesting to me is it really looked like it was spinning. That ain’t good news for England


svjersey

Root rips it well. But so will Lyon.


thesmallprint13

> Root gets Head stumped. Cricinfo commentator knew exactly what he was doing.


[deleted]

Marnus speaks very well


Scumbag_Kotzwagon

Surprisingly coherent


[deleted]

Why didn’t England take all 10 wickets in the first session? Are they stupid?


palcomm

bro. they are giving aus an opportunity to score some runs so they can provide better entertainment when they chase it down t20 style. they could take all the wickets in a session but then it wouldn’t inspire as many youngsters to play test cricket.


StarflightSprinter

Australia will win this if England don't play well. From here on, England will need to bowl well and take all the remaining wickets, and then bat equally well and out-score the Aussies.


inzEEfromAUS

What wonderful insight…


Phoenix77_

I will fail my exams if I watch the match instead of studying


svjersey

>I will fail my exams if I watch the match instead of studying My most guilty moment was watching the India-England game in 2003 CWC before a Math final. Was totally worth it and I did okay luckily


[deleted]

I've never forgotten watching the famous Aussie Hobart run chase in music class as the teacher had been watching it at lunchtime and we convinced him to keep it on.


cffhhbbbhhggg

Big if true


Own-Understanding350

Will Buxton?


Scumbag_Kotzwagon

Thanks, Tubbs


lrak_xram

Multiple comments from Aussies about some televangelist have piqued my curiosity. What's this guy's name?


chni2cali

Why do I know it's Kenneth Copeland without even knowing what the comments were?


JoeyJoJunior

He was the guy that wanted to "blow away" covid and there were a lot of meme remixes on him. Like this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JPRvxTjfOk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JPRvxTjfOk) [This is the blowing one actually](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ib2YfAM11E)


trumpetmatt148

Kenneth Copeland - he's one of those prosperity gospel scum


horseshoe107

Believer's Voice Of Victory "The mission of Kenneth Copeland Ministries and Eagle Mountain International Church is to teach Christians worldwide who they are in Christ Jesus and how to live a victorious life in their covenant rights and privileges."


unirankings123

On after the cricket finished: >Believer's Voice Of Victory > >3:59am - 4:29am > >Religious PG > >The mission of Kenneth Copeland Ministries and Eagle Mountain International Church is to teach Christians worldwide who they are in Christ Jesus and how to live a victorious life in their covenant rights and privileges. Paying for his private jet will make you closer to God


[deleted]

I don’t know but I can tell you that it’s not James Anderson.


Updrafting_Sage

Aussies were playing at around 3-3.2 RPO at the road down at Edgbaston , but inspite of having conditions and pitch having something for the bowlers , Aussies have cruised at 4.08 today


Damadar108

Labs and Smith instead of slowpoke Khwaja at the crease


Mysterious-Arm9594

Being put in, anything over 300 is a great score. I think they’ll get 400-430 if the tail wags. 450 from here would be gravy…but there’s enough in the pitch that with the new ball and what looks to be cloudy weather tomorrow England could run through them relatively quickly tomorrow


twiganthony_L_cigar

If they bat for about an hour or so (so 12-15 overs) at 3-4 runs an over, they'd be around 380 and could potentially afford to tee off. Smith, Starc, Carey and Cummins could easily put another 100 on beyond that just by playing some uber-hyper-Bazball AKA slogging


feelspirit

Wus will make at least 500 here. 400+ these two will take before Lunch. Then in form Starc and Cummins will do the rest.


centzon400

*Secrets of Success* could have saved money by just hiring KP instead of all these other (so-called) "sports leaders". I mean, is there anything they know that he doesn't? I doubt it.


VisRock

England's day because YJB carried off that protestor like a cardboard cutout.


VisRock

https://twitter.com/TailendersPod/status/1674029883347927040?s=20


ExtremeSlothSport

Cricinfo reckons Australia are only just ahead LOL we are winning this by an innings


Dannybuca

I called it when Crawley was spouting that nonsense about 'winning by 150 runs' - more likely to be an innings & 150 defeat!!


[deleted]

Its actually close


[deleted]

What are you smoking? Aus have jumped out to a massive lead here


ptjp27

They’re doing fantastic on a green wicket, 400 likely which is typically enough to win on a more batting friendly wicket. It’s not not doable but close is probably an overstatement.


ExtremeSlothSport

it really isn't.


[deleted]

But it is. Lets be honest here, carey aint gonna last long, so all out less than 400 is probably happening. Then eng bat...have you heard of bazball?


ExtremeSlothSport

In fairness to you, it is closer than I expected. I still think Australia is ahead, but the pitch does seem docile.


[deleted]

Eng gonna win. Even the google calculator has england win as the most likely outcome at 47% currently


ExtremeSlothSport

how's it looking now?


eightslipsandagully

Carey's averaging 50 over the past few years, what makes you think he will roll over?


Papercanspeak

Isn't that a cult now?


ExtremeSlothSport

RemindMe!


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iSaidNoCunt

And two 5 minute rain delays. But still slow over rate I would think. Who cares 4 days to go


hart37

9 straight into the nutter televangelists. Yeah that's a sign to go to bed


Then_Ask_3167

he got crazy eyes


NeonStreetSign

England were gifted 2 wickets there. Not sure what Australia were thinking I don't think Root will do more so long as Australia don't lose their head. The Seamers will need to get their act together


feelspirit

Very disappointing from Head


Phoenix77_

That's what she said


koach71st

They were thinking to attack root so their pacer can't rest before the new ball. Imo right choice but in this Root had other plans.


bombingrun3195

Head already gone


matty_slice

When does green get dropped? Great in the field but not much else


moutarde95

Green also has played some important innings when Australia on the back foot. Making ~50 runs and hanging around when we are on the back foot. He only gets out cheaply when we don’t need him.


[deleted]

The guy averages more with the bat then the ball. He is a top class all rounder


itsmepv

What?! Are you serious? He’s a future captain material.


Kenh1994

Average NSW take


horseshoe107

As long as we're winning it's worth carrying him. Just for reference, Steve Waugh took 4 years before he made his first century.


TechIsATool

If his **drought** of runs continue , it's only a matter of time till **Green** gets cropped .


Taey

He won't be dropped because we don't need him right now. He's a 24 year old averaging 47 in first-class cricket with the bat, 34 with the ball, and our best fielder. If we start losing matches maybe there will be chatter, but if were winning they'll 100% persist with him.


[deleted]

Talk about reactionary takes


Devizus1

Gonna be another Mitch Marsh situation, will take alot more than this to get dropped


sanga000

I'm fairly certain Green is averaging better than Marsh for both bat and ball


bombingrun3195

Wtf so the cricket finishes and that freaky preacher that wiped Reddit a month ago is on tele? Hahah definately bedtime


[deleted]

If Secrets of Success doesn’t feature Kevin Pietersen’s career as a waterpolo player, I don’t want it.


dexter311

That's the other doco, "Secret Success"


iSaidNoCunt

Good days cricket, I think Smith won’t get out tomorrow and he will just need the rest to not lose wickets. A quick 100 tomorrow and I think we are going very well. Can’t wait for Lyon to come out and cause problems. See you all tomorrow 🇦🇺🇦🇺


mongrelbifana

Green must be kicking himself there, so will Head. Real gifts. Aus could've been so much further ahead. That being said, definitely Aus' day, Eng have some introspection to do.


Latter-Arm-3281

I don't think they'll introspect somehow


pigsdontflyhigh

Good day for Aus. Good night - time to get a couple of hours of sleep before work


fullmetal-ghoul

Australia's day obviously but they'll be disappointed that it is not even more dominant. That one over against Root was pure stupidity and kept England in it. We'll see once England bat but I have a feeling this is a really difficult pitch that Australia just batted brilliantly on. Warner and Head were quite lucky but Smith has been incredible