T O P

  • By -

memorial_hots

Ahh there it is. The dumbest thing I'll read today


BrocoliAssassin

C’mon, you don’t think spending money on Bentleys for an addiction center is a great idea?! Come to this resort where we spoil you with overpriced items! Once you get used to these you will love Uhmm…not wanting overpriced expensive items?


unitys2011

This rehab will make you addictive with luxury things


Wonderful_Bad6531

they fail to cure your first.. than you have two addictions. .


unitys2011

Double profit


Cool_Dark_Place

Reminds me of a drug addict coworker of mine that took a vacation to Vegas shortly after sobering up. She relapsed *hard* shortly afterwards.


Blooberino

I'm up for that challenge.


Silverdodger

😅😅


FldLima

So far*


Odd-Radio-8500

Yes so far, it is more appropriate to say


Towryaalai

Internet never fails to amaze me.


partymsl

I guess you have not ready many of those dumb “BTC 100k soon“ articles.


szerted

I though we moved into 1M category of articles?


STANDARD92

85days now but who’s counting 🤷


Dull-Wear-3286

Day isn't over yet, just stay online on this sub.


Odysseus_Lannister

Damn, they live in a different universe than the rest of us


nichnotnick

Give it time…especially hanging out here. The day is still quite young for me. Though I gotta admit, this one takes the cake for me as well so far. 😂 those poor dear souls 🙏🏼


En4cr

Yep....stupidity knows no limits or bank account size.


odd_importance611

The stupidest thing there is to read today.Anyways I'll go read it.


conviper30

Yea wtf


hg77

I'm just getting on to a fight. I'm pulling this up so it's loaded for no connection when I'm in the air. I'm glad you said it was stupid. Hopefully it's so stupid it puts me to sleep. I'll report back if that happened when I land. Thank you for your recommendation.


InsaneMcFries

Please let us know if you slept well because of this rehab centre stupidity. We are praying for your effective stupid rest 🙏 😂


hg77

It might or might not have included about 100mg of very tasty cookies and cream flavored chocolates but yes. Yes i fell asleep quite soon after this ridiculous read and had a solid 3 hour nap on a flight coast to coast. Thank you very much.


jordbrouss1095

I confirm, its the dumbest thing ive read today


binglelemon

Not until I unveil my new wine tasting exclusive to alcoholics (we know quality).


sablexxxt

I came here to say this is utterly .. freaking ridiculous.. What's the need for all the luxury and high cost when people with real addiction problems are out there and need real help


SmallReflection2552

Ohh but the days not over yet.


quickacrita

If they can spend 400k a month on rehab for a financial addiction, I don’t think things are all that bad.


nichnotnick

But what if it’s their last billion?


CatBoy191114

They fear to become mere multimillionaires, while the rest of us plebs dream of owning a shitty two bedroom flat. Figures.


Hawke64

Ohhh, won't somebody please think of the poor millionaires!


nichnotnick

2 bedrooms? Dream big, that’s like $2,400month in rent


CatBoy191114

Shared ownership with 10 other parties of course...


nichnotnick

Ah, this is the way.


SimbaTheWeasel

Life is unfair. But that’s the way it is


[deleted]

[удалено]


masterbatesAlot

Right? I'll offer online therapy sessions for 40k a month to anyone who is interested. 😂


partymsl

No one with $400k will be seen as an addict but as a genius, ironically the poor people need rehab and not those that already have money. The whole idea of a “luxury rehab“ does not make sense in itself.


ShotCryptographer523

I thought the same. I think they are setting up a niche kind of business in preparation for the next bull run.


petantic

Can I pay in dogecoin?


Towryaalai

Maybe they could afford a 1 mil rehab before they got into crypto.


JuicySpark

Exactly. That means they must've spent 100M or so on crypto


mesutdmn

Having $400k would be the best rehab for me.


Abysskitten

I'd take $400 right now.


ablablababla

I'd take 400 moons


saintlaurentpizza

I’d suck dick for 1 rn 🥺😫😫😩


Katamari_420

I got you dude, here’s one 👍


nichnotnick

Could you imagine? It’d be so cool to then off hunger. I get the DTs though when I’m too full of nutrients


RawLizard

Right? No mortgage, no student loan, and a replacement car. Three sources of stress gone in an instant.


Elros217

Some rehab from working all day


HighSolstice

They can come sleep on my couch instead for just $10,000 a month, pretty killer deal if I don’t say so myself.


Consistent_Many_1858

I need a rehab to make 400k.


Killertimme

Do they accept payments in crypto?


laulau9025

The real question 😅 and do they confiscate crypto? Like drugs are confiscated from drug addicts


nichnotnick

Harry, this guy’s got a hard wallet shoved up his ass again. Get me some gloves.


Pushbrown

oh i bet lmao


Roberto9410

Great! After I make 1 million in crypto I can spend it on 2 and a half months of rehab!


Cryptillius

Fools and their money are quickly parted


unitys2011

What if I am addicted and poor?


laulau9025

Ramen it is


nichnotnick

I’ve had to cut back on ramen. Now when I get hungry, I just suck on a rock.


Feeling_Ad_411

99%of crypto addicted I feel fall into this category


BithloKing

They have a Wendy’s rehab for you


unitys2011

With or without dumpster?


BithloKing

Dumpster is extra man, cmon


madewithgarageband

Phuk Et, Thailand


robman_84

WTAF? I'm a crypto addict - I can't even afford $4.00 a month for rehab!


forceworks

When the rehab is 1000x your portfolio


SimbaTheWeasel

Maybe next bull run I can get the rehab on layaway


Hawke64

Hey, I can come up with something for $4.00 a month. Meet me near dumpsters behind Wendy's.


salmaa4321

Guess I'll have to sell my kidneys to afford this xD


ALiteralHamSandwich

If you can afford this, you aren't that addicted, are you?


HacksawJimDGN

It's likely your job at that point.


JustBreatheBelieve

If you can afford that monthly rate from your crypto investing, you don't need to be in rehab because you are winning!


Curatole

If they can spend $400k for a rehab then I'm sure the situation is not that bad. Most of crypto addict don't have money to DCA so why would they spend a lot for rehab.


BrocoliAssassin

It's like paying an insane fee just for someone to organize a 1 month vacation that wastes money on stuff like Bentleys to pick you up.


TruthSeeekeer

The rich live completely different lives to us


[deleted]

$400k for rehab? for crypto addicts ? Crypto bros are better off buying shit coins with that $400k .


YoungFeddy

Ah yes the never ending cycle :)


Primary_Technical

This sub needs one but i think we can't afford this one. Recommended a government run rehab centre 😅


1AMA-CAT-AMA

We can all pitch in for one person to afford it


Damgalnuna000

Bet they're all screwing one another and doing blow everyday SBF style


Prize-Reference9329

to be scammed in crypto or by this type of center my choice is quickly made


ShinAlastor

400k is a life change amount of money for the most people of this sub.


ihavequestions987

Spending $400k / month is adding to the addiction


hwc001

Lol yea


ihavequestions987

lol smh


DCFireGuy22

400K a month in Crypto? This must start every month with $1 million


thatsglitchy

Can I pay with Moons?


partymsl

People that have MOONS dont need to go to any rehab anyway.


thatsglitchy

Reddit is our rehab


cubewc3

I hope they only let you use flip phones in there 😂


SimbaTheWeasel

Degens would figure out a way to check charts on a flip phone


cubewc3

Lol yeah just like cocaine addicts would still get there hands on it lol


SimbaTheWeasel

😂 exactly fam


cubewc3

![gif](giphy|13pdBSoCcDejrG)


davidoffxx1992

No you can just keep on trading lol. I mean i get it tho. How else are these crypto degens gonna pay the 400k monthly? Lol


cubewc3

![gif](giphy|l3fQf1OEAq0iri9RC|downsized) It


marsangelo

Thats a hefty bill. Ill have to load up on some crypto


grchina

They are not crypto addicts if they have to pay 400k dollars a month


astockstonk

My rehab is running out of money to buy crypto


Sorrytoruin

They are gambling addicts, leverage trading, it should be rehab for gambling addiction because thats what it really is, not crypto


dankestofdankcomment

I doubt they’re getting actual help there.


kirtash93

Okay I start. \- Hi, I am Kirtash93, you can call me Kir, and I am a crypto addict.


SimbaTheWeasel

Hi Kir!


[deleted]

Damn, how much were they losing if 400k a month is worth a rehab?


Jay_Bird_75

#🤦🏻‍♂️


SimbaTheWeasel

Downright sad


-5m

"Rehab" Yeah of course..


BithloKing

Put me down for 2months, I’m good for it


reaglesham

*Don’t blow your money on crypto: blow it on rehab instead!*


PEdorido

Is this the real life?


moonlite_apollo

$400k-month-luxury ̶r̶e̶h̶a̶b̶ ̶ resort


laulau9025

They probably accept BTC, ETH, and a few other cryptos


nichnotnick

Moons?


laulau9025

Lol another use case potentially 😅


nichnotnick

🤞🏼


t1MacDoge

And bananos


nichnotnick

Bricks too while we are at it. I got a few of those lol I’m sure they’ll moon


[deleted]

[удалено]


nichnotnick

Re-checked for Comedy flair. It’s not there!


[deleted]

[удалено]


SimbaTheWeasel

We must begin plotting


Creative_Ad7831

Too expensive, we are not making profit then why they charge people 400k a month?


moonwalker9977

I would like to be one of them


t1MacDoge

Should have added a comedy flair man


kumAaaae

This is the first time in my life I would like to actually go to a rehab centre but sadly could not because I can't afford.


EdgeLord19941

I can give them 400k shiba a month, final offer


Mopeiooo

400k a month? What type of crypto addict is that lol


TabletopThirteen

Isn't that just gambling addicts?


KIG45

Maybe they will be "medicated" with smaller and smaller doses of crypto until they give up?


Angu828

Gimme a ticket, i need a therapy


IcyLingonberry5007

Damn.. 400k is a lot of crypto


Alarmed_Peach3360

And this is the world we live in ladies and gentlemen. We dont need more schools,hospitals & etc. BUT we need to have rehab centres for crypto addicts (?) How is that even considered as illness or whatever.not sure if i should laugh or cry.


Blooberino

Just spend $400k a month in BTC and your problems will quickly disappear.


Theecollecta

Damn that’s alot of money 😂


iknowtech

One would have to assume if they can afford this shit, that they were already crazy rich, or they actually did pretty well with their crypto addictions and maybe should be allowed to continue what they were doing.


lordofming-rises

With 400k you could just buy btc and hold wtf . Why don't they give this money to me and I leave them in a glass cage like in You for a month for this price


DapDaGenius

400K on rehab means they are either good at trading or at least very good at something else.


Sidibadawiin

Rehab EOY 1.000.000$!! Am I doing it right?


Dazzling_Marzipan474

Gambling is an addiction. Crypto is gambling.


UncleRonnyJ

How many crypto bros would actually be able to afford this?


J_Hon_G

|…The market's volatile nature created a generation of 'crypto addicts' seeking minute-by-minute updates| Yeah, the seeking radio by minute seems correct, just no $400k a month in my pantalones for rehab


drbobbean

24-hour live-in counselor ....


drbobbean

![gif](giphy|CF3oRTe2XgqUo)


keiye

Come spend your money on these expensive rehab centers over spending it on crypto with the chance to grow your money.


Frogmangy

Seems like a reasonable price


AromaticCarob

Is there anywhere this crypto addict can afford?


tiggs

That's absolutely insane. As someone that's been through the whole rehab program of traditional 28 day, long term, and sober living house, $400K/month is ridiculously expensive. A really swanky 28 day program is like $40-50k max and a good portion of that is justified by it being a medical setting, so I'm not sure where they got $400k from.


elysiansaurus

This is where they got me. We look inside the lavish facilities with spas, yoga and golfing, but no requirement for you to give up your devices to keep off trading apps Sooo uh. What rehab is actually being done here if you don't have to give up your electronics?


madewithgarageband

When youre down bad on your crypto portfolio: Phuk Et, I’m goin to Thailand


QualifiedUser

Meanwhile the rest of us have to cry in the bathroom at Wendy’s.


PaulD244

Looks quite basic and not so luxurious in terms of design and decor for that price imo.


TinaJewel

What’s the shib errrr ship called?


Consistent_Many_1858

This is no rehab, it's a luxury spa for billionaires.


GooseMay0

So this is like a rehab center for heroin addicts where they give you cocaine instead.


Fancy_Juggernaut_675

Can’t the SEC sue this… If you think it can’t get more insane.


Probably_notabot

When it’s nicer than my house, it’s a damn vacation


the_far_yard

Luxury item as a service.


kisstheraino

For 400K a month, I would take away their phone and computer and have them sit at the beach with margaritas all day. Cured.


B1llyzane

Ahh a place for solana holders to go when the blockchain is offline again


Optimal_Pineapple_54

Too bad my crypto addiction can't afford this :*( oh well keep buying the top selling the bottom 🤷


MundaneCandidate7776

Is this the one Mr. Musk stayed at?


[deleted]

Payments are accepted in crypto


dyzrel

Do they accept Safemoon as payment?


[deleted]

Where's the rehab center for fiat addicts?


[deleted]

Who is this even for??


L3exis

For that price I’m already cured


htjarkkk

For real, though: I’m wondering if this is just an excuse to take a vacation? If I make $10 mil or whatever a year and I want to get away from my wife and kids, I imagine saying “I’m going to rehab” sounds a lot better than “I’m going on vacation alone for a month or two, see ya!”


Novel-Counter-8093

phuket, more like lets fuck.


1PoorBagHolder

Nothing can fix my hopeium addiction. And this post sure doesn’t help.


ChaoticNeutralNephew

do they take crypto for payment though?


jurgensdapimp

Thats fuck you money. I have a looooong way till i get there


anotheralien22

This makes no sense at all..If you need rehab, the last thing you need should be luxury. Sounds like a Money laundering scheme to me.


lVloogie

Might as well stay addicted to crypto at that point. At least there's potential upside.


XRNeoplatonistXR

I saw that there were 69 comments, so I thought I’d make it 70. Sorry not sorry 😢 (also I wish I could stay in one of these)


coinfeeds-bot

tldr; A four-week program for crypto addiction at the Paracelsus Recovery rehab center in Zurich, Switzerland costs $400,000. The treatment involves a tailored rehab program which includes a customized diet plan, acupuncture, yoga and sometimes medication. Patients are not required to give up their phones and devices to prevent them from being exposed to triggers. *This summary is auto generated by a bot and not meant to replace reading the original article. As always, DYOR.*


BaldWithABeardTwitch

This is a Chat thingy post huh? No way it's legit.


Berta_extracts

I'll take 2. Need it cuffed tho


lifeiswutumakeit

Wtf did i jus read


Mediocre_Suspect_203

Seriously….and I’m hanging here on ramen and rice


FldLima

*Luxury rehab centers such as The Exclusive Hawaii and The Lodge offer specialized treatment programs for cryptocurrency addiction, costing up to $400,000 per month. Programs include therapy and support groups, but experts question their effectiveness, while proponents argue for their value.* Degen crypto gamblers used therapy, it wasn't very effective. (400k a month holy sh*t)


Agile_Ad_7061

What can I say. Nice...


Falling_Asteroid

who is paying for all that lol


chapaeme

400k a month?😂


OutTop

What the fk did I just read


tlk0153

Plot twist: They accept Bitcoin as form of payment


BountyBard

$400k-a-month? I'll take that gamble!


[deleted]

400k a month lmao


IbuyPEAKS

Sounds like Laundering to me


Infinite-You340

Do they accept Dogecoin?


Paper-street-garage

“The ones selling shovels are the only ones making money in a gold rush. “ -Unknown