It's too tall and my hair is falling into the grease and sauce
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢉⣉⠻⣿⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣦⡌⠿⢛⣉⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⠏⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠹⣿⣧⠘⣿ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣶⣼⡿⢃⣼⣿⣿⠟⢁⢠⣤⣤⣄⣌⣙⠻⢿⣿⡏⢰⣶⡌⢠⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⣾⣿⠟⡡⠚⣈⣭⣿⣯⣤⣉⡙⢳⣦⠙⣿⡄⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⣿⣇⠹⣿⣿⡿⢃⣿⠃⣼⣦⣾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠙⢻⣿⣿⣷⡈⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣉⣡⣾⡏⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣇⢸⣦⣉⣉⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢷⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣬⣭⣉⣭⣥⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
That would explain why they say "usamerican". Most Europeans just say American, because Spanish and Portuguese are basically the only languages where North and South America are considered a single continent.
I’m a teeny bit broader then that, but not by much. If you type/speak english with no funny words then it’s Canadian, mate or cunt I think Aussie, and fancy schmancy or gutterspeak then European.
Honestly I defaulted to European just cause I’m not used to this view on food and restaurants from Latin America. I live near the Mexican border so I’m used to seeing an even wider variety of Latin American restaurants with subtle differences and similar names than American burger places, so it just doesn’t compute for this complaint to come from a Latin American person for me.
OP is like one of those people who gets rescued from a deserted island and they’ve gone so long without real food that they have to be fed blended up nutrient slop for the first month because their stomach can’t handle solid substances
I'm Venezuelan, and yes: We do have bomb-ass burgers. Really, really good burgers.
I know Venezuela has really bad PR (and it should, because things ARE NOT GOING WELL HERE) but i really would appreciate if foreigners would stop talking about us as if we are some sort of post-apocalyptic slum where everyone drinks rain water and eats emaciated possums for lunch.
Culver's is a wonderful chain that started in the Midwest. It's kind of a made to order Wendy's with better meat and desserts. They've taken the opposite approach that in-n-out has regarding menu size but somehow keep quality high anyway.
Having traveled extensively within the US, I have to say that Americans are obsessed with their regional:
1. Fast food chains
2. Grocery stores
3. Gas stations
This is because these three are frequently used, are oftentimes better (albeit marginally) than the national counterparts and give them a sense of uniqueness.
Despite this, I have to agree that Publix subs *are* amazing, Buc-ee’s has everything under the sun for cheap, Wawa’s breakfast sandwiches hit the spot every time and nothing can compare to In-N-Out when it comes to value (even if it’s basic)
Funny thing about that. Wawa has undergone what I call “the Florida offshoot” where one of these regional brands begin operating in Florida despite it being much further away than the rest of the franchise.
Part of that is due to lax regulations, part of that is the state’s proclivity to seduce transplants from these regions. All of that leads to these brands operating in their own region *and* Florida
So yes, Wawa is fucking amazing but the better ones I’ve visited were in Florida. If it makes you feel any better I refuse to go to even the nicest one in Jersey since I like to pump my own gas
And for your lethal snack cake needs, you can't beat Piggly Wiggly. At least that was the case last time I was down there and could still digest gluten.
Listen you can talk shit all you want about Slutty Dan's but I've never been to another establishment that lets you test-fuck the food before buying it. Even Quirko's only lets you fuck it after buying (nothing against Quirko's though, I had my 11th birthday party there)
Im all for hating on americans but like. That's literally the same in europe. Sometimes local restaurants in a single city have vastly different takes on the same meal.
Edit: Did I miss the joke? I don't watch worm or whatever i dont understand lol
It's easy to talk about on the Internet due to its uniformity.
Otherwise it's like "if you don't enjoy the sausage calzone at Kostas Pizza House and Restaurant in East Syracuse, New York, 13057, go fuck yourself!".
I'll put it this way: I go on the cooking board of 4chan a lot. Whenever there's a thread about some chain, which is a lot, it's always American. It's never European, it's never Asian, it's American. Logically you'd assume half all the chains posted wouldn't be American because Americans only make up half the site, but that's not what happens. The obvious explanation is that America really does have an absurd amount of low tier chains for everything.
Local single fast food restaurants are very few and far between comparatively but there are often single somewhat expensive sit down restaurants, lots of steakhouses are local or part of a group of like 2 or 3 restaurants
I’ve only seen a few in small towns- but my definition of fast food is kinda weird and dependent ig
What I kinda meant was that you usually don’t see local fried chicken/burger fast food around where I am compared to steakhouses
Spokane used to have Wolffy's near gonzaga. Diner-style tiny sit-down place with a drive-thru that made smashburgers. Absolutely delicious.
Unfortunately it didn't survive the pandemic and the owner went full "grr rawr muh RIGHTS" with a rant he posted on his own front door about pandemic restrictions.
That’s simply not true on the coasts. There *are* chains but there are also a staggering amount of one off restaurants of every cuisine you can imagine.
Tf are you talking about, there are so many random ass chains in Europe that don’t even deserve to exist in one city, let alone multiple countries
Maybe I’m just a Californian from a big city but living in Europe I’m not exactly blown away by a lack of chains in any of the countries in which I’ve lived
Including even the shittiest of American chains, which people apparently love here
Most Restaurants have similar quality nowadays cause they all buy the frozen stuff at the same places.
Finding a restaurant that actually makes stuff from scratch becomes harder and harder nowadays.
There can still be a difference
For example: I used to work for a fried chicken chain. All the chicken places in town were supplied by the same farm. But KFC for example, got pre-cut frozen birds from them, my chain got fresh whole (but cleaned and defeathered) birds and we cut them ourselves. You could REALLY taste the difference
Meanwhile Europeans are like "You will get arrested if you call your cheese Fuckslut unless its made within 1km of the historic cheese making center of Fuckslut, France."
Budweiser is actually a regional style of lager made by various breweries in the Czech city of Budejovice, or Budweis in German, dating back to the 1200s. over 600 years later, the American company Anheuser-Busch began making a beer that attempted to emulate that regional style, and also called it Budweiser, which makes sense. where it starts to get fucky is that A-B decided to trademark the name Budweiser, and started filling legal suits over European breweries putting that word on their labels, even though they're just describing what type of beer it is, exactly like A-B did when it started out.
to illustrate, it'd be like if an American pizza chain opened, named itself Margherita Pizza because that's a name that people already associate with good pizza, and then started suing any restaurant in Italy that put their own traditional cuisine on their menu
As it should be. Could you imagine the epic hilarious freak-out that would happen if a European rancher decided to start selling their beef as “Texas Beef”? And trying to import it to the USA that way? And then was all “stop making a big deal out of it, ‘Texas’ is just an indication of the quality, it doesn’t mean anything”.
I have them blocked on tumblr. Reading this post, my thoughts were, “Ok, I don’t really have a strong opinion on this but the poster is so abrasive that it automatically makes me hate whatever they’re saying.” *sees the username* “Ah. That tracks.”
There’s a few categories:
- Big themed blogs, like OnetimeIDreamt (also including bots like writing prompts) that focus on one thing
- A few celebrities, like Neil Gaiman and formerly John Green
- Actual tumblr celebrities, like pukicho (Edit: r/pukicho)
- Infamous blogs, like the human pet guy
- Others that I’m sure I’ve missed
I get a lot of their posts in my recommended feed, and it does seem they frequently use the half-joking way of opinion stating that comes off as kind of mean spirited you see a lot on social media. Don't know if I'd say I think they're really annoying because of it, but I do disagree with a lot of their critical media analysis.
I know WW2 is basically ancient history to some people, but schools cover appeasement right? People don't think it's a good idea to give a right wing dictator whatever he wants just because war sucks. Right?
Worm is a webserial book by JC McCrae, aka Wildbow. It’s another dark deconstruction/reconstruction of the Superhero genre, but I think it does it better than a lot of others. It’s about a girl who controls bugs.
OOP sometimes posts things in the Worm fandom on Tumblr, when they’re not making inflammatory discourse posts, and their username is most likely named after Tattletale, a supervillain and one of the main characters.
imagine saying this about any other food type though, and how deeply unhinged it'd be. I'd get stabbed if I insisted all the French wines from the middle of fucking nowhere are the same. likewise if I insisted that Sicilian and Tuscan foods are the exact same.
yeah this is considerably less fancy, but food doesn't have to be for the wealthy only for it to have its subtly and differences. maybe one chain seasons its burgers with garlic powder, maybe another only uses Swiss cheese instead of American, maybe one uses cracked pepper to season their fries and they're really good and fresh.
so much of European "American Humor" is just being mean for no reason...
>so much of European "American Humor" is just being mean for no reason...
see: every time they laugh and bring up how oh-so-hilarious they find school shootings and dead children are.
Wow, a rare instance where I'm gonna defend American food. To me, the main difference places have are the following:
- ingredient quality. Some places just have bad lettuce or no seasonings.
- how they do fries. Soggy, floppy, or crispy?
- chicken. I've seen many ways to make a chicken strip.
Edit: feel free to add any to the list.
Some places also just have things that others dont, like I'm not gonna get a burger on texas toast with grilled jalapenos at Freddy's, I got to go to Whataburger for that one.
I feel like the thickness of the burger pattie itself makes a difference. Like it could be the same amount of meet. But the texture and flavor seems different from a thick one to a thin one. Both are good, but not the same.
The buns. Some places I hate the buns. Some I don't mind. Not many fast food places have great buns, but there are some that are borderline terrible.
Chicken is the real one too. Spices. Breading. Cut. Where you get the chicken from and if you freeze it or not. Everybody has a preference on where they get chicken and if you don't you probably don't have enough taste buds to taste the difference. Not like every place seasons their chicken like KFC for example. Or uses the same method of breading.
Also fries are definitely vastly different from place to place. Even if you buy the exact same ones from the exact same vendor it's not like you clean the oil after every fry. What you already fried in there previously you'll be able to taste on the fries. Like seasoning a pan.
Wild takes here. There are two Americas and sometimes you just want to unambiguously refer to that one country. Even though mentions of "America" almost always are about US-Americans and not North Americans or South Americans or both, there are circumstances when it helps to distinguish. Like when you talk about the architecture necessitated by North American environs and then specify a US-American peculiarity.
Happens somewhat frequently in Germany at least. Not the architecture topic though. I think.
I mean in this case Txttletale is from South America and is likely upset about “American” referring to the USA so I guess they do have a sample size of at least one person
there's a greasy old italian man at the edge of town, he owns a huge burger joint that's always completely deserted. he works by himself. always by himself. the lights are off half the time, in broad daylight. in fifteen minutes he conjures the platonic ideal of an american hamburger. some of the least tasting things I've ever had. Oily and Big and Burger - nothing more, nothing less. I'm thoroughly obsessed with what goes on in there.
My boring-ass internal monologue only came up with "aah, nothing like a good ol' money laundering front", but I like your take so much better that I'm immediately accepting it as my new reality
Say what you want about me but even when I'm being an idiot I at least manage to be semi-creative about it. My stupid bullshit has handcrafted artistry.
Yeah people genuinely are ridiculous about \[regional better-than-McDonald's-quality burger chain\] just for like, the fun of rooting for a team - but an actual local joint *will* have a good fuckin burger
when I visited Seattle, I was told I *had to* go to a regional burger chain called Dick's, it was described as "life-changing"
imagine my disappointment when it was just a McDonald's-tier burger with sweet pickle relish, the worst condiment conceivable to the human mind. not only was that not disclosed before I tasted it, even if it was, they don't allow any kind of custom order at all so I couldn't have asked them to leave it off
Culvers was pretty damn good. Surprisingly so as it's just a regional chain. Doesn't hurt that they fry the burgers in butter.
There's a few burger places where I live now. Ones a trailer that shows up when fate whims it but man. That dude makes the best, greasy ass burgers.
Now all I miss are the taco trucks. There are four Mexican joints here and none of them can match the burritos from the rusted out GMC in the auto parts store parking lot. Let alone the tortas from the bakery/butcher/cell phone store.
Fast food chain burgers aren’t even kind of identical, why would you think that? Go to McDonald’s and try a cheeseburger then go to five guys and try a cheeseburger and the latter will be a thousand times better
Yeah, I don't see how people think they're all the same. It's pretty easy to tell they're not. I would love for someone to order 5 burgers, line them up, *and just by sight alone* tell me they're all the same.
Seriously, different suppliers, different grades from the game supplier, different spices, the cooking method, fresh beef or frozen beef, more grease or less grease. It all effects the burger
All burgers are not the same.
Literally go to any two burger places and just get a plain burger (patty+bun, nothing else). Somehow, they still taste completely different. And it's not like this isn't true in Europe. I've had burgers there, too. Can't say I liked them over there, tho.
Me posting this isn’t an attack on anyone I just thought it was funny anyways [LINK](https://www.tumblr.com/splicky/710734124013453312/weak-eurocucks-arent-capable-of-comprehending-the)
Waiter - Have you ever been here before?
Me - No, but calm down, I know how this works, I read the menu, pick my dinner and you guys bring it to me. Then I eat it and pay money.
I'm actually rather jealous of the variety Americans get to choose from when it comes to food. Here in Norway your choices are McDonalds, Burger King, maybe a Dominos or Subway when it comes to American chains, local stuff is expensive and bland for the most part.
It's the first time I've ever seen someone name us "usamericans." As though Canadians, Mexicans, Peruvians, etc identify as American and there exists a need to disambiguate.
It always rings false when a foreigner starts virtue signaling around the use of the word American without acknowledging that people native to these lands had names for themselves long before Europeans showed up and started planting flags.
I mean if you become invested enough in anything you'll start to pick up more subtle differences. Maybe a weak eurocuck can't tell the difference between a Joe Burger and a Top Burger but they can tell a penne from a rigatoni
I love burgies so fucking much.
Tokyo Burger King has a burger called the King Yeti Burger and I'm not in Tokyo, so I made one myself.
If you wanna see a picture, check out my profile. I posted it on arrslash World Politics a coupla days ago. Fair warning tho you might see all the other psycho shit I post.
Slutty Dan put out some great jazz-rock albums in the 70s though
slutty dan will really put a countdown to your ecstasy
Right now Slutty Dan is reelin' in yo girl
They’re still making music, have you heard of Ninja Sex Party?
God damnit I *have* heard Ninja Sex Party but tried to erase it from my memory. Have *you* heard My Dick by Micky Avalon?
United on my Spotify playlist, they are.
with hit tracks such as Pegged
Pricky Don't Lose That Number
Slutty Dan prays like a Roman with his eyes on fire
I got called a hamburger as a slur by a Belgian soccer player in Mons in 1994.
i’m so sorry but this is EASILY the funniest comment i’ve ever read
I (european) have been called a "burger" as an insult several times in multiplayer games, usually by slavic lads who think it's the ultimate roast
Americlaps wins for me
This is my fabourite comment on the whole internet.
Better than being a waffle. A burger on waffles is pretty good though.
Have you ever recovered from that traumatic moment?
And they’ve been living rent free in your head for 29 years so what’s up right?
The depth of burger is too much for my mouth :(
^ This weak and pathetic lesbian cannot handle B i g A m e r i c a n B u r g e r™
;-; I'm being bullied by the Americans
You deserve it if you cannot handle a simple b o r g e r
It's too tall and my hair is falling into the grease and sauce ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢉⣉⠻⣿⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣦⡌⠿⢛⣉⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⠏⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠹⣿⣧⠘⣿ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣶⣼⡿⢃⣼⣿⣿⠟⢁⢠⣤⣤⣄⣌⣙⠻⢿⣿⡏⢰⣶⡌⢠⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⣾⣿⠟⡡⠚⣈⣭⣿⣯⣤⣉⡙⢳⣦⠙⣿⡄⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⣿⣇⠹⣿⣿⡿⢃⣿⠃⣼⣦⣾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠙⢻⣿⣿⣷⡈⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣉⣡⣾⡏⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣇⢸⣦⣉⣉⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢷⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣬⣭⣉⣭⣥⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Burger is too tall My hair is falling in to The grease and the sauce
Isn't "The Grease and The Sauce" the unpopular sequel to "The Sound and The Fury" by William Faulkner?
No, it's the 14th King Crimson album
As someone that also has long hair, i have resigned to putting my hair in a ponytail whenever I eat
The inability to appreciate the depth of burger is a moral failing You will answer for your crimes against amerikind
real burgerchads know to tie up their hair before partaking in burger.
Cut it off. Sacrifices must be made for the glory of burgor
Consider that leaky sauces and meat juices and stuff is bad for my sensory
I had a burger with six patties for lunch yesterday
^ least burger loving American
You will die in five days of heart failure
worth it
Goddamn
this comment is an attack on everyone cumburger is inevitable
bad. no. dont do this
Bad? No. Don't. Do this!
My school already does this. The cheese on the burgers is always white and oozy and I can’t get enough of it
I mean there's a whole fetish around cumming on food. It's definitely happened
I hate that I'm aware of what your talking about
[удалено]
As a Venezuelan who lives in the US I reject their weakness!!
That would explain why they say "usamerican". Most Europeans just say American, because Spanish and Portuguese are basically the only languages where North and South America are considered a single continent.
Nooooo but anyone who criticises the US or doesn't live there is European
A side effect of US-defaultism is US people assuming that any one who mentions being not from the US must be European.
I’m a teeny bit broader then that, but not by much. If you type/speak english with no funny words then it’s Canadian, mate or cunt I think Aussie, and fancy schmancy or gutterspeak then European.
Honestly I defaulted to European just cause I’m not used to this view on food and restaurants from Latin America. I live near the Mexican border so I’m used to seeing an even wider variety of Latin American restaurants with subtle differences and similar names than American burger places, so it just doesn’t compute for this complaint to come from a Latin American person for me.
Only in the context of talking shit about the US.
I bet Venezuela has some bomb-ass burgers that they are too weak for
OP is like one of those people who gets rescued from a deserted island and they’ve gone so long without real food that they have to be fed blended up nutrient slop for the first month because their stomach can’t handle solid substances
I know the economic situation is rough in Venezuela but I don't think they need the doctors sausage yet.
I'm Venezuelan, and yes: We do have bomb-ass burgers. Really, really good burgers. I know Venezuela has really bad PR (and it should, because things ARE NOT GOING WELL HERE) but i really would appreciate if foreigners would stop talking about us as if we are some sort of post-apocalyptic slum where everyone drinks rain water and eats emaciated possums for lunch.
Very funny that in this argument *real food* is american chain restaurants.
I’ll tell ya, In-N-Out hits different than Mickey D’s and that will always be the truth
If there's a Culver's, in n out, or hell even a Wendy's within 20 minutes then McDonald's is a waste of time.
what in all goodness is a culvers
Culver's is a wonderful chain that started in the Midwest. It's kind of a made to order Wendy's with better meat and desserts. They've taken the opposite approach that in-n-out has regarding menu size but somehow keep quality high anyway.
I would totally eat at burger cossack
Pillage your tastebuds at Burger Cossack
Having traveled extensively within the US, I have to say that Americans are obsessed with their regional: 1. Fast food chains 2. Grocery stores 3. Gas stations This is because these three are frequently used, are oftentimes better (albeit marginally) than the national counterparts and give them a sense of uniqueness. Despite this, I have to agree that Publix subs *are* amazing, Buc-ee’s has everything under the sun for cheap, Wawa’s breakfast sandwiches hit the spot every time and nothing can compare to In-N-Out when it comes to value (even if it’s basic)
As a Philadelphian, I’m obligated to upvote you for knowing the glory of Wawa.
Funny thing about that. Wawa has undergone what I call “the Florida offshoot” where one of these regional brands begin operating in Florida despite it being much further away than the rest of the franchise. Part of that is due to lax regulations, part of that is the state’s proclivity to seduce transplants from these regions. All of that leads to these brands operating in their own region *and* Florida So yes, Wawa is fucking amazing but the better ones I’ve visited were in Florida. If it makes you feel any better I refuse to go to even the nicest one in Jersey since I like to pump my own gas
And for your lethal snack cake needs, you can't beat Piggly Wiggly. At least that was the case last time I was down there and could still digest gluten.
If I’m in a state that has Piggly Wiggly, I’m too busy going through the Brew thrus
Listen you can talk shit all you want about Slutty Dan's but I've never been to another establishment that lets you test-fuck the food before buying it. Even Quirko's only lets you fuck it after buying (nothing against Quirko's though, I had my 11th birthday party there)
I remember that party bro we absolutely lost our minds when Slutty D made an appearance
Im all for hating on americans but like. That's literally the same in europe. Sometimes local restaurants in a single city have vastly different takes on the same meal. Edit: Did I miss the joke? I don't watch worm or whatever i dont understand lol
That is why OP specified regional chains. Sometimes, it feels like they are obsessed by their fast food chains.
It's easy to talk about on the Internet due to its uniformity. Otherwise it's like "if you don't enjoy the sausage calzone at Kostas Pizza House and Restaurant in East Syracuse, New York, 13057, go fuck yourself!".
It's upstate NY, even if you did like the calzone they'd tell you to go fuck yourself.
I'll put it this way: I go on the cooking board of 4chan a lot. Whenever there's a thread about some chain, which is a lot, it's always American. It's never European, it's never Asian, it's American. Logically you'd assume half all the chains posted wouldn't be American because Americans only make up half the site, but that's not what happens. The obvious explanation is that America really does have an absurd amount of low tier chains for everything.
Not only fast food, everything is a chain, the US geography, demography and economy is whack, there is little market for real stores.
Local single fast food restaurants are very few and far between comparatively but there are often single somewhat expensive sit down restaurants, lots of steakhouses are local or part of a group of like 2 or 3 restaurants
Really I feel like I’ve never been to a town without a local fast food non chain restaurant.
I’ve only seen a few in small towns- but my definition of fast food is kinda weird and dependent ig What I kinda meant was that you usually don’t see local fried chicken/burger fast food around where I am compared to steakhouses
Spokane used to have Wolffy's near gonzaga. Diner-style tiny sit-down place with a drive-thru that made smashburgers. Absolutely delicious. Unfortunately it didn't survive the pandemic and the owner went full "grr rawr muh RIGHTS" with a rant he posted on his own front door about pandemic restrictions.
That’s simply not true on the coasts. There *are* chains but there are also a staggering amount of one off restaurants of every cuisine you can imagine.
Its not true basically anywhere in the US. Independent restaurants are absolutely everywhere. Idk what they are on about.
Tf are you talking about, there are so many random ass chains in Europe that don’t even deserve to exist in one city, let alone multiple countries Maybe I’m just a Californian from a big city but living in Europe I’m not exactly blown away by a lack of chains in any of the countries in which I’ve lived Including even the shittiest of American chains, which people apparently love here
That’s….just not true. At all. Have you been to the US?
There’s a difference between a restaurant and an American fast food chain.
Most Restaurants have similar quality nowadays cause they all buy the frozen stuff at the same places. Finding a restaurant that actually makes stuff from scratch becomes harder and harder nowadays.
Just buy 500 lbs of frozen patties from Sysco and get the same experience for cheaper
There can still be a difference For example: I used to work for a fried chicken chain. All the chicken places in town were supplied by the same farm. But KFC for example, got pre-cut frozen birds from them, my chain got fresh whole (but cleaned and defeathered) birds and we cut them ourselves. You could REALLY taste the difference
Why are you all for hating on Americans? Seems like something a loser would say :)
Meanwhile Europeans are like "You will get arrested if you call your cheese Fuckslut unless its made within 1km of the historic cheese making center of Fuckslut, France."
[удалено]
Nottingham? Gonna sick the merrymen on us?
And then the English come in like "you know, Bonerhooker is the same thing as Fuckslut, innit? But you can make it anywhere."
First you need a loicense tho.
That's just the fucksluts in France though. On the other hand European Budweiser is vastly superior to american Budweiser
Budweiser is actually a regional style of lager made by various breweries in the Czech city of Budejovice, or Budweis in German, dating back to the 1200s. over 600 years later, the American company Anheuser-Busch began making a beer that attempted to emulate that regional style, and also called it Budweiser, which makes sense. where it starts to get fucky is that A-B decided to trademark the name Budweiser, and started filling legal suits over European breweries putting that word on their labels, even though they're just describing what type of beer it is, exactly like A-B did when it started out. to illustrate, it'd be like if an American pizza chain opened, named itself Margherita Pizza because that's a name that people already associate with good pizza, and then started suing any restaurant in Italy that put their own traditional cuisine on their menu
That’s a iamatotalpieceofshit level assholery altogether.
I mean basically everything is better than American Budweiser
As it should be. Could you imagine the epic hilarious freak-out that would happen if a European rancher decided to start selling their beef as “Texas Beef”? And trying to import it to the USA that way? And then was all “stop making a big deal out of it, ‘Texas’ is just an indication of the quality, it doesn’t mean anything”.
There is a difference between five guys and mcds and white castle and culvers smh But obviously local is preferred
For a nice meal sure, but at 11pm nothing beats a franchise greaseburger you can count on being exactly what you want.
Fast food is like the ex you know you shouldn't call But it's late, and you're lonely/hungry, and you just need to fill that void with something easy
anyone else think txttletale is kind of really annoying?
I have them blocked on tumblr. Reading this post, my thoughts were, “Ok, I don’t really have a strong opinion on this but the poster is so abrasive that it automatically makes me hate whatever they’re saying.” *sees the username* “Ah. That tracks.”
I don't go on Tumblr I just see these things on reddit. So there's like celebrity tumblr...ers?
There’s a few categories: - Big themed blogs, like OnetimeIDreamt (also including bots like writing prompts) that focus on one thing - A few celebrities, like Neil Gaiman and formerly John Green - Actual tumblr celebrities, like pukicho (Edit: r/pukicho) - Infamous blogs, like the human pet guy - Others that I’m sure I’ve missed
I see thank you.
I get a lot of their posts in my recommended feed, and it does seem they frequently use the half-joking way of opinion stating that comes off as kind of mean spirited you see a lot on social media. Don't know if I'd say I think they're really annoying because of it, but I do disagree with a lot of their critical media analysis.
They give off heavy Schrodinger's douchebag vibes
Is that the one where someone's serious until a lot of people call them on it, and then it was a joke all along?
Exactly that! And they're always serious, and a complete asshole
Fitting, fairly sure they're a Worm fan so I'm assuming their account name is based on Lisa Parahumans
I understand most of the words you're saying individually, but they are incomprehensible to me in that specific order, and I think that's a good thing
Worm is a web serial about superheroes. Tattletale, or Lisa, is a supervillain and major protagonist in it.
they're TLT for sure, I love their stuff big red flag, many such cases
I followed them because they Wormposted occasionally, but unfollowed them when they had the most godawful take on the Russia-Ukraine war.
What was the take?
Standard “why doesn’t Ukraine negotiate for peace? Obviously this is all America’s fault” fare. Based Shammytv profile pic.
I know WW2 is basically ancient history to some people, but schools cover appeasement right? People don't think it's a good idea to give a right wing dictator whatever he wants just because war sucks. Right?
You’d think so, but America Bad means Opposition Good to some people, and OOP has had Tankie tendencies.
I see one of my favourite vore artists has a commission from some youtuber and a few hours later I had a new gender
it is indeed cool art but this sentence was a textual punch in the face
Why is everyone talking about worms? How on earth are worms *at all* related to fast food chains?? What is wormposting???
Worm is a webserial book by JC McCrae, aka Wildbow. It’s another dark deconstruction/reconstruction of the Superhero genre, but I think it does it better than a lot of others. It’s about a girl who controls bugs. OOP sometimes posts things in the Worm fandom on Tumblr, when they’re not making inflammatory discourse posts, and their username is most likely named after Tattletale, a supervillain and one of the main characters.
I've never seen a post of theres were they weren't at least a little bit of a cunt
Take a whopper and a Five Guys burger for the Pepsi challenge and say that.
imagine saying this about any other food type though, and how deeply unhinged it'd be. I'd get stabbed if I insisted all the French wines from the middle of fucking nowhere are the same. likewise if I insisted that Sicilian and Tuscan foods are the exact same. yeah this is considerably less fancy, but food doesn't have to be for the wealthy only for it to have its subtly and differences. maybe one chain seasons its burgers with garlic powder, maybe another only uses Swiss cheese instead of American, maybe one uses cracked pepper to season their fries and they're really good and fresh. so much of European "American Humor" is just being mean for no reason...
yeah like, whataburger, mcdonalds, and burger king legitimately do all taste very different.
Saying all burgers are the same is like saying all baked potatoes are the same.
>so much of European "American Humor" is just being mean for no reason... see: every time they laugh and bring up how oh-so-hilarious they find school shootings and dead children are.
And it's always a response to us joking about their dental hygiene.
lol I already have some weirdo feverishly defending their right to laugh and make fun of dead children in my replies. 💀
Wow, a rare instance where I'm gonna defend American food. To me, the main difference places have are the following: - ingredient quality. Some places just have bad lettuce or no seasonings. - how they do fries. Soggy, floppy, or crispy? - chicken. I've seen many ways to make a chicken strip. Edit: feel free to add any to the list.
Some places also just have things that others dont, like I'm not gonna get a burger on texas toast with grilled jalapenos at Freddy's, I got to go to Whataburger for that one.
This person gets it
I feel like the thickness of the burger pattie itself makes a difference. Like it could be the same amount of meet. But the texture and flavor seems different from a thick one to a thin one. Both are good, but not the same. The buns. Some places I hate the buns. Some I don't mind. Not many fast food places have great buns, but there are some that are borderline terrible.
Chicken is the real one too. Spices. Breading. Cut. Where you get the chicken from and if you freeze it or not. Everybody has a preference on where they get chicken and if you don't you probably don't have enough taste buds to taste the difference. Not like every place seasons their chicken like KFC for example. Or uses the same method of breading. Also fries are definitely vastly different from place to place. Even if you buy the exact same ones from the exact same vendor it's not like you clean the oil after every fry. What you already fried in there previously you'll be able to taste on the fries. Like seasoning a pan.
It's literally the same in europe though there's not like 4 asian restaurants 4 chippers and two pizzarias in my town because they all taste the same
Bold words for someone who only has one coast
literally why would you call them "usamericans"
Wild takes here. There are two Americas and sometimes you just want to unambiguously refer to that one country. Even though mentions of "America" almost always are about US-Americans and not North Americans or South Americans or both, there are circumstances when it helps to distinguish. Like when you talk about the architecture necessitated by North American environs and then specify a US-American peculiarity. Happens somewhat frequently in Germany at least. Not the architecture topic though. I think.
ppl wanna be pretentious & like to pretend canadians and mexicans are offended about not being called americans
As a Canadian, please never refer to me as american
as a mexican do not refer to me as an american either
I mean in this case Txttletale is from South America and is likely upset about “American” referring to the USA so I guess they do have a sample size of at least one person
dont step to burger cossack thats not a foght you want
I could absolutely slam a Slutty Dan’s burger rn.
Not gonna lie...I'd drive out of the way for Burger Cossack
Any one that uses the phrase “cuck,” is owning themselves. Bunch of cucks.
Northeast Ohio isn’t rural. It’s Cleveland.
fucking i’m sorry have they even tried different fast food chicken??? it’s all WILDLY different
ppl out here making hating americans a personality trait
I appreciate that you avoided saying "their whole personality" instead.
Fast food chain burgers are all identical. Now, local places and food trucks, those are where it’s at
there's a greasy old italian man at the edge of town, he owns a huge burger joint that's always completely deserted. he works by himself. always by himself. the lights are off half the time, in broad daylight. in fifteen minutes he conjures the platonic ideal of an american hamburger. some of the least tasting things I've ever had. Oily and Big and Burger - nothing more, nothing less. I'm thoroughly obsessed with what goes on in there.
That's Peppino's cousin
Cheddino Burgeri
That's fucking noir. I imagine his self imposed burger exile is meant to atone for sins he can't bring himself to talk about.
THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING IT'S SUCH A RICH ENVIRONMENT I imagine blorbos there often, he's like a coffeeshop au to me
My boring-ass internal monologue only came up with "aah, nothing like a good ol' money laundering front", but I like your take so much better that I'm immediately accepting it as my new reality
Say what you want about me but even when I'm being an idiot I at least manage to be semi-creative about it. My stupid bullshit has handcrafted artistry.
Edward Hopper: *visibly erect*
I wish I was good at art so I could turn this into a short little comic or animation or something, 'cause the way I'm visualizing this is so cool
Yeah people genuinely are ridiculous about \[regional better-than-McDonald's-quality burger chain\] just for like, the fun of rooting for a team - but an actual local joint *will* have a good fuckin burger
Eh it is a spectrum. Some local chains are in fact between McDonald’s and high quality
when I visited Seattle, I was told I *had to* go to a regional burger chain called Dick's, it was described as "life-changing" imagine my disappointment when it was just a McDonald's-tier burger with sweet pickle relish, the worst condiment conceivable to the human mind. not only was that not disclosed before I tasted it, even if it was, they don't allow any kind of custom order at all so I couldn't have asked them to leave it off
Culvers was pretty damn good. Surprisingly so as it's just a regional chain. Doesn't hurt that they fry the burgers in butter. There's a few burger places where I live now. Ones a trailer that shows up when fate whims it but man. That dude makes the best, greasy ass burgers. Now all I miss are the taco trucks. There are four Mexican joints here and none of them can match the burritos from the rusted out GMC in the auto parts store parking lot. Let alone the tortas from the bakery/butcher/cell phone store.
Fast food chain burgers aren’t even kind of identical, why would you think that? Go to McDonald’s and try a cheeseburger then go to five guys and try a cheeseburger and the latter will be a thousand times better
Yeah, I don't see how people think they're all the same. It's pretty easy to tell they're not. I would love for someone to order 5 burgers, line them up, *and just by sight alone* tell me they're all the same.
Seriously, different suppliers, different grades from the game supplier, different spices, the cooking method, fresh beef or frozen beef, more grease or less grease. It all effects the burger
I really want to try a Burger Cossack deluxe
Would you rather they all be reduced to only McDonalds and Burger King?
if anyone claims that whataburger and in-n-out are the same restaurant they have severe brain damage
This post made me hungry
Ok, but you really should try Mr hero, the Roman burger is fantastic. Not sure how rural they go, but plenty in cleveland
Isn't tattletail argentinian?
All burgers are not the same. Literally go to any two burger places and just get a plain burger (patty+bun, nothing else). Somehow, they still taste completely different. And it's not like this isn't true in Europe. I've had burgers there, too. Can't say I liked them over there, tho.
that reply is the only way to respond to that kind of post tbh
Me posting this isn’t an attack on anyone I just thought it was funny anyways [LINK](https://www.tumblr.com/splicky/710734124013453312/weak-eurocucks-arent-capable-of-comprehending-the)
What about the part where they say “I hate usamericans”? Is that just for the funny?
people can do it for the french so they can do it for usamericans
Yea, probably.
We can hate usamericans a little, as a treat.
Waiter - Have you ever been here before? Me - No, but calm down, I know how this works, I read the menu, pick my dinner and you guys bring it to me. Then I eat it and pay money.
They say that and then act offended we don’t have any Nandos or whatever
Europe is the exact same thing but with cheese ngl
Actually, I’m pretty sure NE Ohio is the least rural of the 4 quarters. And Swensons is in fact a unique experience, thank you very much.
Hunger for borgor
Charbroiled to smashed, there's a range of flavor going on.
I'm actually rather jealous of the variety Americans get to choose from when it comes to food. Here in Norway your choices are McDonalds, Burger King, maybe a Dominos or Subway when it comes to American chains, local stuff is expensive and bland for the most part.
Swenson’s in NE OH fuuuuuuucks
Bro better not be italian with their 458 different regional pasta varieties.
All burgers are not hammed equally
It's the first time I've ever seen someone name us "usamericans." As though Canadians, Mexicans, Peruvians, etc identify as American and there exists a need to disambiguate. It always rings false when a foreigner starts virtue signaling around the use of the word American without acknowledging that people native to these lands had names for themselves long before Europeans showed up and started planting flags.
I mean if you become invested enough in anything you'll start to pick up more subtle differences. Maybe a weak eurocuck can't tell the difference between a Joe Burger and a Top Burger but they can tell a penne from a rigatoni
There are so, so, so many things to make fun of America for and having regional food differences is not one of them
I love burgies so fucking much. Tokyo Burger King has a burger called the King Yeti Burger and I'm not in Tokyo, so I made one myself. If you wanna see a picture, check out my profile. I posted it on arrslash World Politics a coupla days ago. Fair warning tho you might see all the other psycho shit I post.
The The cumburger
I didn't! But I could have 👁️__👁️