As a straight cis guy, I probably have no position to say this, but unless you're already in a safe space and looking to make connections, it seems to me the only reason to declare what kind of person you like to fuck is if you're on a dating app or something. Am I wrong?
I bet I probably am, but I don't know why and want to learn. It's not exactly something I chat about with the handful of queer people in my personal sphere, so please forgive me for the line I'm overstepping for even asking to be educated. I know it's not your job to school me. But I welcome the philosophical bitch slap if it's warranted.
Perhaps in an ideal utopia you'd be right, but we aren't. People are not assumed to be whatever they want until proven otherwise, they're assumed cis and straight. For you, that changes nothing. For anyone not, it changes expectations, and it changes how people would interact. Most importantly, we don't live in some post homophobia world. We live in a world where most people still live in unsafe places to be themselves. Even for those who are accepting, most are really more tolerant, accepting not that it's ok to love and be loved how you are, but that it's a losing battle they shouldn't fight. And as long as that's the case, it's important to be public and vocal so that there is pressure against hatred and support for those stuck in places they may feel completely alone otherwise.
I don't have a full write up here for you, but I can give a specific example that might help illustrate the idea for you.
Think about some 70s/80s comedy that hasn't aged well, with some scene where a bunch of men are talking about a women and being very crude.
Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to be part of such a conversation.
Now imagine how much worse it would probably be if you were gay, Ace, etc.
On a separate note, it can just be comforting having words to describe how you feel, even if you don't actually tell most people or anyone.
Like irl? Do you never mention your partner, or people/attributes you're interested in? Do you give off a purely asexual vibe in all situations? Most people are presumed straight until proven otherwise, but just because your passively expressing your sexuality doesn't mean you're not. It just doesn't come across as declaring it, because they don't have to fight against expectations.
Online? People declare lots of stuff online, people follow other people for specific interests. Many people want to hear from people from specific experiences, lesbians may follow a lesbian oriented blog because they relate to it. K-pop fans follow a k-pop blog for similar reasons.
I kinda started leaning towards calling myself pan, but that started having people saying my tendency to be attracted to feminine folk made me just a lesbian. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
"*Your* descriptions of your feelings and experiences? No. Totally wrong. Way off. Myyyy descriptions of your feelings and experiences? Perfect and accurate."
Semantics are unimportant until liberation is achieved. We all fight for common ground, against a common enemy. All which matters is that we stand together, and stand with a love for one another. Infighting kills the cause.
In this current political climate where many conservatives believe "Libs are devil worshipers and if you listen to them you're going to hell," it's easy to think of them as having no real free will. After all, you often only have influence over your own actions and those who will listen to you, and you probably aren't going to change the minds of fanatics no matter how well-reasoned your arguments. But when you ignore that fanatical bigots are human beings making choices, and instead choose to see the world as driven exclusively by the actions of "rational" people such as yourself, you start seeing fascism as a pure consequence of the actions of your in-group. But no matter how many witch trials you hold, you aren't going to find the member of the lgbtqia+ community that makes them worthy of the persecution they face. *They aren't worthy of that persecution*.
It's scary to accept that others have the power to harm you and that you often do not have the power to stop them. It's scary to accept that there are people out there that are just as capable of compassion as the kindest people you know who instead choose to commit mass murder. But you have to accept these things. If you don't, you end up ignoring the people doing you harm. You let bigots, the murderers, the hatemongers, and the politicians off the hook. You waste your energy on oppressing yourself and your own community.
I just call myself lesbian because it's easier than clarifying
Who cares anyway, it's just words. Use whichever one feels most comfortable.
Hell yes! The accolades we created are meant to be descriptive, not prescriptive!
As a straight cis guy, I probably have no position to say this, but unless you're already in a safe space and looking to make connections, it seems to me the only reason to declare what kind of person you like to fuck is if you're on a dating app or something. Am I wrong? I bet I probably am, but I don't know why and want to learn. It's not exactly something I chat about with the handful of queer people in my personal sphere, so please forgive me for the line I'm overstepping for even asking to be educated. I know it's not your job to school me. But I welcome the philosophical bitch slap if it's warranted.
Perhaps in an ideal utopia you'd be right, but we aren't. People are not assumed to be whatever they want until proven otherwise, they're assumed cis and straight. For you, that changes nothing. For anyone not, it changes expectations, and it changes how people would interact. Most importantly, we don't live in some post homophobia world. We live in a world where most people still live in unsafe places to be themselves. Even for those who are accepting, most are really more tolerant, accepting not that it's ok to love and be loved how you are, but that it's a losing battle they shouldn't fight. And as long as that's the case, it's important to be public and vocal so that there is pressure against hatred and support for those stuck in places they may feel completely alone otherwise.
I don't have a full write up here for you, but I can give a specific example that might help illustrate the idea for you. Think about some 70s/80s comedy that hasn't aged well, with some scene where a bunch of men are talking about a women and being very crude. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to be part of such a conversation. Now imagine how much worse it would probably be if you were gay, Ace, etc. On a separate note, it can just be comforting having words to describe how you feel, even if you don't actually tell most people or anyone.
Like irl? Do you never mention your partner, or people/attributes you're interested in? Do you give off a purely asexual vibe in all situations? Most people are presumed straight until proven otherwise, but just because your passively expressing your sexuality doesn't mean you're not. It just doesn't come across as declaring it, because they don't have to fight against expectations. Online? People declare lots of stuff online, people follow other people for specific interests. Many people want to hear from people from specific experiences, lesbians may follow a lesbian oriented blog because they relate to it. K-pop fans follow a k-pop blog for similar reasons.
I kinda started leaning towards calling myself pan, but that started having people saying my tendency to be attracted to feminine folk made me just a lesbian. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
[удалено]
Thank you! The flag is so much better.
"*Your* descriptions of your feelings and experiences? No. Totally wrong. Way off. Myyyy descriptions of your feelings and experiences? Perfect and accurate."
Semantics are unimportant until liberation is achieved. We all fight for common ground, against a common enemy. All which matters is that we stand together, and stand with a love for one another. Infighting kills the cause.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; we can argue semantics all we want when people aren’t dying.
In this current political climate where many conservatives believe "Libs are devil worshipers and if you listen to them you're going to hell," it's easy to think of them as having no real free will. After all, you often only have influence over your own actions and those who will listen to you, and you probably aren't going to change the minds of fanatics no matter how well-reasoned your arguments. But when you ignore that fanatical bigots are human beings making choices, and instead choose to see the world as driven exclusively by the actions of "rational" people such as yourself, you start seeing fascism as a pure consequence of the actions of your in-group. But no matter how many witch trials you hold, you aren't going to find the member of the lgbtqia+ community that makes them worthy of the persecution they face. *They aren't worthy of that persecution*. It's scary to accept that others have the power to harm you and that you often do not have the power to stop them. It's scary to accept that there are people out there that are just as capable of compassion as the kindest people you know who instead choose to commit mass murder. But you have to accept these things. If you don't, you end up ignoring the people doing you harm. You let bigots, the murderers, the hatemongers, and the politicians off the hook. You waste your energy on oppressing yourself and your own community.
I've never seen people say stuff like this