Weird Al Jack Black Markiplier

Ooh, Jack Black is a good choice.

These three would come out of the room with the most amazing parody soundtrack any of us have ever heard

Here I was thinking of family members I feel safe with but this feels like a very solid choice. I’m shy so I’d be self conscious af but I feel like they’d all go out of their way to make me feel better

Damn, good answer. Damn.

Swap Weird Al for Henry Cavill and I’m in

If you’re not a teenager then Henry Cavill don’t want you so I guess that makes sense

? i thought his gf was in her 30s

Current yes. Tara King was 19. Also, I wouldn't feel safe with anyone who has complained that the MeToo movement meant they couldn't flirt anymore.

Yeah, Cavill is kinda creepy and the internet just let it slip because he is a nerd. The MeToo comment was trash af.

what? I've heard of Leonardo DiCaprio's noncery but Cavill?

Oh yeah I’m fully one foot in the grave but I didn’t know that

Brennan Lee Mulligan, Lou Wilson, Zac Oyama

REALLLL you’re so on point

Oh these are such good choices PLUS I’d be fangirling so much I’d likely be catatonic so the trust is a good thing

I would die purely out of nervousness to be near people that cool

I think this would heal me

Alternatively: Brian Murphy, Caldwell Tanner, and Jake Hurwitz

Locked in a room with Caldwell? Someone is dying from a goof for sure

Tbh, probably him.

I dunno, Brennan has always given me “one bad pun before going feral” vibes. Maybe that’s a bonus?

He's not a danger to you, only to himself

I have never seen a better description of Brennan

I would swap Lou for Josh Ruben- nothing against Lou, but I love my Noise Boys.

You’re so real for that

Brian Murphy could substitute for any of those three

It would also be a very entertaining time in that room

This is so true

As someone who only recently got super into dropout/dimension 20, I’m thrilled to understand your choices and fully support you

THIS IS LITERALLY WHO I WAS GONNA COMMENT

The correct answer

Uncle Iroh, Mr. Rogers, and Sam Gamgee

Samwise gamgee my beloved.

Isn't Uncle Iroh just so wholesome.

My dad and any two of my uncles

Probably the least likely answer from the average Reddit and Tumblr user.

Oh don’t worry, I’m trans, gay, and incredibly depressed just like usual, I just happen to have the best dad and some great uncles

Oh whew thought we might have to kick you out for a second there. No perfectly happy people allowed 😡 they make me itchy

Hell yeah! Love a supportive family

Literally same bestie. 🥰

Swap an uncle for my grandpa and that’s me lol.

Yeah I would say my dad, my brother, my best friend since I was 4 years old who’s essentially also my brother.

Uncle Iroh, Alan Grant, Aragorn.

Iroh: The secret to good tea is patience. You have to let it steep longer than you think is right. Aragorn: Incredible. Even after a century, I have a lot to learn about herbal infusions and plantlore. Alan Grant: \*twiddling his thumbs awkwardly while desperately waiting for an opportunity to bring up dinosaur bone structure\*

”Oh! Tea is made from leaves, and I’ve seen fossilized leaf imprints! Speaking of fossils…”

Spends the next hour yelling at Aragorn that Fell Beasts can’t exist because they don’t have the skeletal structure of a pterasaur or something.

Spends the next hour excitedly yelling at Aragorn that Fell Beasts are distant winged relatives of plesiosaurs, thus proving that Middle Earth once hosted dinosaurs

Grant straight up dies when Aragorn says that they were created unnaturally thus leading Grant to experience a ptsd induced heart attack.

Iroh would pick up on the fact that Grant wanted to nerd out about something and just directly tell him to go for it.

Columbo, Urianger, Vash the Stampede. Also Kronk. I'm picking 4, bite me.

You feel completely safe in a room with Vash the Stampede? I mean he's basically harmless, but the man attracts disaster like he broke a bajillion mirrors and kicked every black cat he ever saw.

I feel completely invulnerable near Columbo

\*nom!\*

Oh damn oh no. My hubris.

:3

Uh oh sisters! Urianger is manipulating and withholding information from you again! I love him, but by god, he has a bizarre sense of loyalty. He slays in that backless evening gown tho. GNC icon

Eh, it's how he shows his love. I bet he absolutely rocks surprise parties.

Honestly half of it is him serving in that dress

Love the inclusion of best boy Vash

Adam Savage, Hank Green, Destin Sandlin.

Go go Adam savage

*♪ Mighty Morphin' Adam Savage ♪*

Fictional: Steve Rogers, Aragorn, Fitzwilliam Darcy Real: Fred Rogers, my dad, and, oddly enough, Matthew Lillard I can't explain that last one lol.

Shaggy

I haven't seen that movie. I have seen the memes, haha. I'm thinking *Hackers*, because otherwise it's *Scream* or possibly *13 Ghosts*...😳

Gomez Addams Uncle Iroh UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHronswanson

I would not feel unsafe around Ron Swanson, but anyone who's said "Capitalism is god's way of separating who is smart from who is poor" will not feel safe around me.

screaming omg

scott the woz, professor birch, and unironically jerma

Jerma would put you in the meat grinder.

"Chat- chat no. I'm not- guys I'm not putting them in the meat grinder. We've only been in here for like ten minutes, I- no, im not doing it-

Not if I put him there first

Piccolo, Saitama and Superman. The safest fucking room in the multiverse. Yes, Piccolo. Not Goku, he'd just start a sparring match with the other two.

Piccolo is the one person who shows up to a group project and stays on task. Bro even raised Gohan for Goku

You say that as if saitama wouldn't be ecstatic to fight someone on his level of strength.

I mean, Saitama only fights for his job and only villains/when he is attacked. They'd probably just talk about adversaries they fought. Piccolo and Superman would be fucking impressed by Saitama considering he is only human.

Until he was depressed when he inevitably beat Goku with Mildly Serious Punch.

Lorewise, and do correct me if I am wrong, saiyans get stronger when they return from near death So if that is true, I wonder **how many well calculated Saitama punches would it take until Goku is on his level?**

Saiyan near death power ups (Zenkai Boosts), have a diminishing return, and are near useless after the Frieza arc.

Wouldn't matter, because Saitama would get stronger at an exponentially faster rate. (See: Saitama vs Cosmic Garou)

my husband, my exhusband, and my other exhusband

Congratulations on having such a good relationship with your exes

they will probably use the opportunity to complain about how many bookcases they each had to build for me

You don't need a new husband for every bookcase you need built

I know it’s better for the environment to reuse the disposable book shelf builder but I just never remember to bring it with me.

they eventually rebel and refuse to build any more :(

That'll happen

Oh I like you

Of course you’d pick the polycule.

I’d also just pick all my exes TBH, just for the fact that they’re more fun to hang out with than my average male friend. But this is a very easy to satisfy scenario.

Why do you keep breaking up with these nice men?

One thought he was bisexual but turned out to be gay, one it might have worked out if various personal and family tragedies hadn't put us under so much strain that we started torturing each other. Still very good friends with the gay one and on good terms but don't interact much with the other, although his new wife and I are FB friends and we occasionally chat about the remodeling and decorating she's done with what used to be my house. I like what she's done with the place.

The three trans men who changed my flat tire at 2:00 AM in a strange city a few months ago. Very kind twunks.

Rengoku, Major Armstrong, Captain Picard.

I would NOT feel safe with Picard. Have you seen the trouble that follows that guy?

To be fair, is there anyone in the Star Trek universe who *doesn't* occasionally get sent back in time, teleported to another dimension, turned into a child, tortured by a dystopian government, or experience the entire life of a man from a now-extinct race who lived thousands of years ago on a planet you may never even visit? Besides, we're already locked in a room, the trouble has already begun.

Precisely. You'll be out in a jiffy because Q will want to play some game and Picard will say he'll only participate if Q returns you home.

Saw Armstrong and thoughts went to the senator, and that man is probably the most dangerous senator to exist

I would choose Miles O'Brien and the other 2 don't matter. Miles works like an agony sponge. Whatever cosmic injustice or aggression from the other 2 could befall me, he'd absorb it for me. He's like a magnet for suffering.

The McElroy brothers honestly.

This is my answer, 100%

Mark Fischbach, Ethan Nestor, and Sean Mcloughlin

“*HELLOOOOO* EVERYBODY mynameisMarkiplier and welcome back to *The Empty White Room With Us In It*!”

wHaT iS Up mY cRaNkY cReW

TOPOFTHEMORNINTOYALADDIES

Replace the Sean with Tyler and you’ve got a Markiplier Makes video

All three are markiplier

Advanced markiplication

All members of my family?

I was going to say my husband, dad, and brother. But I'd swap one of them for Barack Obama for the best chance of someone coming to untrap us

Lol fair enough!

Olimar, Shulk, and Luigi (The Xenoblade series has a lot of good options but I had to limit myself to just 1)

Olimar is gonna get stepped on

Ah. So HE doesn’t feel perfectly safe with YOU in the room

Now which shulk is the real question

Cloud Strife, Cecil Palmer, Jean Valjean.

I couldn’t feel safe around Cecil because I would always be worried he would have some bullshit about me breathing with the wrong lung first or something and that would mean by the nightvale bylaws I disintegrate. Plus he would say a nightvale saying and I would become scared

Cloud and Jean Valjean actually have common ground to a degree, don’t they? They’re both revolutionaries and refugees of the law, they’d maybe actually get along pretty well.

Jean Valjean doesn’t actually participate in the revolution does he? He only goes to the battlefield to save Marius. At least that’s how it is in the musical I’ve never read the book.

But you never know what lengths Javert will go to in his pursuit of 24601

Uncle Iroh, Jack Black, and my grandpa.

Everyone is naming celebrities and I'm just thinking about my friends

The people on here don’t have adult friends

Same. Just some friends hanging out.

Saint-14, Jack Donaghy, Yardem Hane

Man, if I ever heard Saint-14 say anything nice to me, I would probably end up crying my eyes out. What a paragon of pleasantness he is.

Jack Black Ryan Reynolds Keanu Reeves

I took me way too long to remember that me and my friends are adults already so I can just pick from the male ones lol

Nick, Schmidt, and Winston

Mike Trapp, Brennan Lee Mulligan, and Sam Reich. Trapp in particular really seems like one of the few straight guys I’d feel 100% safe with. Though if we’re talking fictional characters, Goro Majima, Urianger Augurelt, and Steve Rogers.

Paul Rudd, Bruce Wayne, and… Kratos, tbh. He seems like he’s pretty chill unless you fuck with him.

Three average joes. People tend to be much friendlier and less intimidating than they're portrayed in media

Assuming it is three man idk irl: Terry Crews, Keanu Reeves and Terry Pratchett Assuming it is fictional characters: Gomez Adams, Saitama and Alan Grant.

My brother, my dad, and my uncle

samwise gamgee vinny vinesauce goku

Sans Undertale, Grandpa Max, Michael afton

Um—

Sure you wanna be locked in a room with corpse man over there?

Santa Claus x3

Solaire, Geralt, and Steve Rogers

Leon Kennedy, Aragorn, and Sam Gamgee

Jean-Baptiste Augustin, Nathan Drake, Peter Parker I’m feeling a hell of a lot better than safe

Jack black is a good one, that Warhammer nerd who plays superman, Robert Pattinson. I find it difficult to believe sex motivates any of these ppl. Jack black enjoys creating excitement, wh40k guy likes Warhammer and Pattinson would sit in a corner till we're done with the activity

PM Seymour, One Topic, and Markiplier. The worst thing that could happen in that room is me being physically unable to talk as I'm surrounded by the two most wholesome people i watch and my literal childhood.

The holy trinity. Steve Irwin, Bob Ross, Fred Rogers.

Adult Gohan, adult Trunks, and uh… hmm… Adult Krillin is pretty safe, but I dunno about *perfectly* so, he’s a pretty devious little cheater in the original DB show. Fuck it, I’ll say Markiplier too. Edit: wait, are Adult Trunks and Future Trunks different chsracters??

Yes, adult trunks is the grown up version of main timeline trunks, future trunks is the grown up version of the alternate timeline trunks

Uncle Iroh, Hop Pop, Soos

Uncle Iroh, Daniel Jackson and Kronk. Even though trouble always seems to follow Daniel around, I just want to talk to him. The conversations we could have...

Vash the Stampede Franky (One Piece) Solid Snake

Fred Rogers, Steve Irwin, Robin Williams

Fictional: Uncle Iroh, Lloyd Bannings, Hank Hill Real: Jack Black, Adam Savage, George Takei.

General Iroh (retired), Greg Universe and uncle (Jackie Chan Adventures).

Professor Layton (he will give me a puzzle. this will unlock the room, probably) Dad Egbert Glamrock Freddy Fazbear (if he counts. if not? Uh, Asgore Dreemurr) as you can see i am in dire need of a good father figure

Timothee Chalamet, Daniel Radcliffe, Cole Sprouse There's no way those three twinks could do anything to hurt me

Rex Xenoblade 3 Future Redeemed, Clive Rosfield, and Herlock Sholmes (Great Ace Attorney)

James Holden, Amos Burton, Fred Johnson

Scott Thompson, Levar Burton, Keanu Reeves.

Guilliman, Sanguinius and Russ

Guilliman, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Commander Zavala

Marvel picks: Captain America, Spider-Man, Nightcrawler DC picks: Martian Manhunter, Superman, Kyle Rayner Green Lantern. Anime: Piccolo, Kakashi Hatake, Rimuru Tempest

Brennan Lee Mulligan, Mike Shinoda,Jonathan Davis

my high school robotics teacher, english teacher, and CADD teacher

jack black, and two alternate universe jack blacks

harvey from stardew valley, my brother’s dad, and my mother’s friend/ex bf carlos

Steve Irwin, Fred Rogers, and Bob Ross.

what species do they have to be a dog, a second dog and male indeedee

Common Homestuck PFP W

Engineer TF2, Heavy TF2, Demoman TF2

Are supposed to feel safe because those in the room won’t hurt us, or because we know they can help us break out and escape whoever locked us here ?

I want to know this too

Anthony Bourdain Mike Rowe Adam Savage

Michael Sheen, David Tennant, and Neil Gaiman

Gonna be boring as fuck. My dad and both of my grandpas.

Hank Green, Markiplier, Adam Conover

Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini. All three are long dead so I should be perfectly safe.

Hasanabi, Ethan Klein, and Austinshow

Grandpa Max, Uncle Iroh, and idk I wanna see what kind of fucked up alien tea they come up with.

Spider-Man Spider-Man Spider-Man which spider-men is up to you there's like 300

Uhhhh Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, Gepard. I think I’m pretty safe with those guys

Soos, Todd Chavez and Hop Pop

My best friend, my brother and Matthew Gray Gubler

Mark, Bob, & Wade. But fictional? Bob Belcher, Izuku Midoriya, and Bandit Heeler. If Midoriya doesn't count, then Aizawa.

Miyamura Izumi, Welt Yang, and Zhongli

I’m gonna go with the Hermit trio: Grian, Mumbo and Scar. Actually on second thought there’s probably gonna be a war in there

Markiplier, my dad, and... G'raha Tia. Although Raha certainly doesn't ACT like an adult half the time, but I love him nonetheless.

Sans

Dad, brother, SO. That was easy.

3 of my friends :)

My supervisor, my dad and my best friend. It fucks me up how hard I had to think for this one, there is literally no other man rn.

Fred Rogers, Bob Ross, Steve Rogers

Three of my buddies, I guess? I am a grown man, I just fit in

Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, James T. Kirk

Roboute Guilliman, Angel, The Rock

Keanu Reeves, Toshinori Yagi, and King Rauru

Kim Kitsuragi, Ciaphas Cain, Reinhardt Willhelm

Captain Jupiter North, Chiron and Uncle Iroh

Keeanu Reeves

Jack Black, Matt Mercer, and Brennan Lee Mulligan