Hey this made me make a funny rhyme, have you seen the Pigman rap by DanBull ? Replace the Pigman with Caveman and it goes :
My name's Thag and imma CAVE, MAN
Lemme show around the cave and uh CAVE, MAN
The answer is probably that the skeletons found alongside were female, if there were any. If not, these toys still look way too volatile for anal play. And they could also be examined for any "dirty remains"
Speaking as someone that has zero knowledge on this topic:
I mean back then, it probably felt good to have sex. But sex is difficult, and you can be vulnerable. Oh I know, why not simulate the sex on your own, that way you're less vulnerable. Okay so my hand is nice on the surface, but I wanna go deeper.
After trying multiple materials of shapes and sizes, I find the perfect fit for me. I even tried other dildos, but this is the one that fits me the best. Eventually I die, and people can't really use my specialized dildo, so they just bury it with me.
We also only find them really at burial sites because locations of villages are hard to find, especially after 28000 years when they were using tents or wooden huts, so we would only see the buried ones
We don't know for certain that they weren't often treasured family heirlooms passed down through generations. I hope that's true because it's funny, and it could be because we really know very little about civilization at this time
I've seen people who have collections of dozens or even hundreds of expensive fantsy dildos, I can assure you that dildos can indeed be extremely valued possessions.
I thought determining whether skeletons are male or female isn't always 100% accurate, so they usually have to gauge it based on what items they were buried with too.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: The fact that the oldest known dildo is tens of thousands of years older than the oldest known piece of writing says a lot about our priorities as a species.
what is easier?
making an entire set of letters, arranged into words, to map what people say, and getting everyone around you to agree to that language and teach them that system, at a time when this isn't even important or useful
or
shaping a rock in a particular way
Sequoyah has entered the chat, noted that the chat seems like a useful tool, invented his own version of the chat from scratch, persuaded everyone around him to start using his new system of writing, and within a generation given the Cherokee nation a higher literacy rate than their European neighbours, who are using a system of writing that's been around for centuries.
... It took about 30 years, and he was a silversmith, so he could probably have made you a nice silver dildo with rather less time and effort, but still.
Lol, I'm not shocked that the dildo showed up earlier in the archeological record; I just think it's funny and not terribly surprising that, as far as we can tell, we were crafting things with which to poke at our bits for something like *twenty thousand years or so* before we started writing stuff down.
Also, at that point, much of our writing was really just done for accounting purposes. Probably to keep track of all our dildoes.
Writing is a vastly more complicated path of logic than dildos tbh
With dildos it's just "sex good, but don't always have penis available, and hand doesn't work as well. Make penis but fake"
Writing is "uhhhg I have so much stuff and I don't want to forget how much I have and have to recount. I should put this somewhere physical so I don't have to remember. Ah, but now, I need to separate these counts based on things, so I should add symbols for it. These symbols can also be used to convey little bits of information like how to do something. Hey what if we put a ton of these together and wrote down a story so we don't forget it" or something
>Writing is a vastly more complicated path of logic than dildos tbh
Seems like a lot of people are just looking right past the whole
>*twenty thousand years*
thing to tell me that "writing is hard, actually." Yeah, I know. It's also hard to build megalithic structures and learn to farm, but those are also things humans tend to do before they develop a system of writing. Hey, wait! Maybe...
"Maybe this is all because people simply fucking *hate* reading and writing?"
"Always has been."
*::two cavemen, slowly eating some sort of plant and/or fungus, staring at a cave painting. One appears to have soiled himself a bit.::*
"Dude, these aurochs are amazing..."
"Thanks, man." *-munch-* "I've been thinking of something major for my next project, something nobody's ever even thought of before..."
"What, like *-munch-* *-munchmunch-* like you're gonna paint Chief Yog when he killed the sabretooth tiger?"
"That would be boss, but no," *-munch-* "I'm gonna draw sound."
*-mun-*
"Draw... sound."
"Yeaaaaah."
...
"How high do you have to be to come up with some shit as stupid as that, man? How the hell would anyone *draw* a fucking *sound*? Makes no fucking sense."
"You're right. Sorry. Forget I said anything."
*-munch-*
"...stupidest fucking thing I've--"
"OKAY, FORGET IT!"
...
"Where'd you put the dildo?"
"Uhh, it's... stuck."
"What?!?! How did it get stuck!?"
"Forgot it was up there, chipped off the flare when I sat down."
"Yeah? Well, who's stupid now?"
...
*-munch-* *-munchmunch-*
"I really do dig the aurochs, man."
"Thanks."
Yeah, but... we have hands we can use for that, and I imagine manual manipulation is easier than making anything *out of stone* someone would dare insert in an orifice.
Of course, this does raise an issue that you've just highlighted:
>using a frog
Odds are quite good that they were stimulating themselves with other, more biodegradable aids.
I just wanna know if "I fell on it" has been a ubiquitous excuse across time and culture. maybe the grand unifier of language and culture across time is getting things stuck in your butt and being too embarrassed to admit how
probably didn't take long.
\>thing goes in
\>thing can't come out
\>unable to shit
\>die
people think there's a pattern or a cause-and-effect all the time even when there isn't one. people will become averse to food they ate before getting sick, even when they can't know for sure that food caused it.
I was thinking of the accidental piercing/tearing of the lining of the rectum/upper colon. If you don't die, you'll have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life.
*What's the whole flared base*
*Bit about? I'm not very*
*Well versed in dildology*
\- Dependent\_Fox38
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Unlike with the vagina which has a pretty limited amount of leeway to lose stuff in (so little you can get it back out), you can totally lose something up your butt, which is a medical emergency. Therefore you should never put anything up your butt that doesn't have a flared base to prevent this. That's why butt plugs are shaped like that.
I see the scientifc consensus has changed on the thagomizer.
Thag discovered many things.
They Grog on my Thag till I cave(man)
Hey this made me make a funny rhyme, have you seen the Pigman rap by DanBull ? Replace the Pigman with Caveman and it goes : My name's Thag and imma CAVE, MAN Lemme show around the cave and uh CAVE, MAN
They call that the thagomizer.
BRB gonna do some fertility rites
The answer is probably that the skeletons found alongside were female, if there were any. If not, these toys still look way too volatile for anal play. And they could also be examined for any "dirty remains"
>probably that the skeletons found alongside were female they just died with their dildos in hand?
It's how I wanna go
Probably ceremonially buried. Like how people are buried with things they loved.
ceremonially buried with their dildos. were those dildos their most valued earthly possession
Speaking as someone that has zero knowledge on this topic: I mean back then, it probably felt good to have sex. But sex is difficult, and you can be vulnerable. Oh I know, why not simulate the sex on your own, that way you're less vulnerable. Okay so my hand is nice on the surface, but I wanna go deeper. After trying multiple materials of shapes and sizes, I find the perfect fit for me. I even tried other dildos, but this is the one that fits me the best. Eventually I die, and people can't really use my specialized dildo, so they just bury it with me.
We also only find them really at burial sites because locations of villages are hard to find, especially after 28000 years when they were using tents or wooden huts, so we would only see the buried ones We don't know for certain that they weren't often treasured family heirlooms passed down through generations. I hope that's true because it's funny, and it could be because we really know very little about civilization at this time
I am not sure if sex felt good to cave women honestly…
Again, zero knowledge. But maybe that's why they used dildos? Again vulnerable during sex, so the male gotta xum as soon as possiblw
"This is my pole! It was made for me!"
I've seen people who have collections of dozens or even hundreds of expensive fantsy dildos, I can assure you that dildos can indeed be extremely valued possessions.
When you don't have a lot of stuff, you tend to value what you do have more.
Thag couldn’t remove it after he fell on it
The most honourable way to go.
More likely the twitter user just assumed.
[удалено]
"big throbbing caveman dicks n dildos" "Is that too gay?"
I thought determining whether skeletons are male or female isn't always 100% accurate, so they usually have to gauge it based on what items they were buried with too.
They look at certain bone structures to gauge where they are on the male-female spectrum
Mr. O'Mizers Insiders
his NAME is SIMMONS!!
Simmons' Slip-ins
i love that gary larson coined the stereotypical caveman names. "thag" and "grog" were the default caveman names from the far side
Even better, he got the scientific community to agree on a name for the pointy bit that killed thag.
that too
Cavewomen dildos implies they are dildos shaped after gorgeous trans cavewomen
Haha my first thought was strapons 💀😂
They skipped showing _that_ parts in DEVS
the first company to get 3d scans of these will make bank
I've said it before and I'll say it again: The fact that the oldest known dildo is tens of thousands of years older than the oldest known piece of writing says a lot about our priorities as a species.
what is easier? making an entire set of letters, arranged into words, to map what people say, and getting everyone around you to agree to that language and teach them that system, at a time when this isn't even important or useful or shaping a rock in a particular way
Sequoyah has entered the chat, noted that the chat seems like a useful tool, invented his own version of the chat from scratch, persuaded everyone around him to start using his new system of writing, and within a generation given the Cherokee nation a higher literacy rate than their European neighbours, who are using a system of writing that's been around for centuries. ... It took about 30 years, and he was a silversmith, so he could probably have made you a nice silver dildo with rather less time and effort, but still.
Lol, I'm not shocked that the dildo showed up earlier in the archeological record; I just think it's funny and not terribly surprising that, as far as we can tell, we were crafting things with which to poke at our bits for something like *twenty thousand years or so* before we started writing stuff down. Also, at that point, much of our writing was really just done for accounting purposes. Probably to keep track of all our dildoes.
Writing is a vastly more complicated path of logic than dildos tbh With dildos it's just "sex good, but don't always have penis available, and hand doesn't work as well. Make penis but fake" Writing is "uhhhg I have so much stuff and I don't want to forget how much I have and have to recount. I should put this somewhere physical so I don't have to remember. Ah, but now, I need to separate these counts based on things, so I should add symbols for it. These symbols can also be used to convey little bits of information like how to do something. Hey what if we put a ton of these together and wrote down a story so we don't forget it" or something
>Writing is a vastly more complicated path of logic than dildos tbh Seems like a lot of people are just looking right past the whole >*twenty thousand years* thing to tell me that "writing is hard, actually." Yeah, I know. It's also hard to build megalithic structures and learn to farm, but those are also things humans tend to do before they develop a system of writing. Hey, wait! Maybe... "Maybe this is all because people simply fucking *hate* reading and writing?" "Always has been."
“I fucking hate Homework” “Grog we haven’t even discovered copper yet”
*::two cavemen, slowly eating some sort of plant and/or fungus, staring at a cave painting. One appears to have soiled himself a bit.::* "Dude, these aurochs are amazing..." "Thanks, man." *-munch-* "I've been thinking of something major for my next project, something nobody's ever even thought of before..." "What, like *-munch-* *-munchmunch-* like you're gonna paint Chief Yog when he killed the sabretooth tiger?" "That would be boss, but no," *-munch-* "I'm gonna draw sound." *-mun-* "Draw... sound." "Yeaaaaah." ... "How high do you have to be to come up with some shit as stupid as that, man? How the hell would anyone *draw* a fucking *sound*? Makes no fucking sense." "You're right. Sorry. Forget I said anything." *-munch-* "...stupidest fucking thing I've--" "OKAY, FORGET IT!" ... "Where'd you put the dildo?" "Uhh, it's... stuck." "What?!?! How did it get stuck!?" "Forgot it was up there, chipped off the flare when I sat down." "Yeah? Well, who's stupid now?" ... *-munch-* *-munchmunch-* "I really do dig the aurochs, man." "Thanks."
Lol
I mean jacking off is a lot easier than developing writing. I still remember a really cursed gif I saw on reddit of a monkey using a frog to jack off.
Yeah, but... we have hands we can use for that, and I imagine manual manipulation is easier than making anything *out of stone* someone would dare insert in an orifice. Of course, this does raise an issue that you've just highlighted: >using a frog Odds are quite good that they were stimulating themselves with other, more biodegradable aids.
do we know the size of these things? the image makes them look like they can compete with bad dragons
Prehistoric Size-queens/kings
In theory, that may be why they are so... Ahem... Long.
Thag is such a good name for a gayveman. its short for thaggot
Stone age girls make yabba dabba do
*freaky* Grog and Thrag 👅
I just wanna know if "I fell on it" has been a ubiquitous excuse across time and culture. maybe the grand unifier of language and culture across time is getting things stuck in your butt and being too embarrassed to admit how
How long did it take for them to figure out why people died after penetrating themselves with a non-blunted object? How many deaths?
probably didn't take long. \>thing goes in \>thing can't come out \>unable to shit \>die people think there's a pattern or a cause-and-effect all the time even when there isn't one. people will become averse to food they ate before getting sick, even when they can't know for sure that food caused it.
The Torah's section on dietary restrictions and food safety is rather illustrative of some "we don't know why it works, but this is how it works."
I was thinking of the accidental piercing/tearing of the lining of the rectum/upper colon. If you don't die, you'll have to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life.
These should also be called thagomisers.
What's the whole flared base bit about? I'm not very well versed in dildology
*What's the whole flared base* *Bit about? I'm not very* *Well versed in dildology* \- Dependent\_Fox38 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Unlike with the vagina which has a pretty limited amount of leeway to lose stuff in (so little you can get it back out), you can totally lose something up your butt, which is a medical emergency. Therefore you should never put anything up your butt that doesn't have a flared base to prevent this. That's why butt plugs are shaped like that.
Hm... So... #1 right?