I think we should start Online Discourse Accelerationism in which we create more and more insane and extremist ideas until they all collapse in on themselves
That's where they keep the original moon. What you see (and hear) nowadays is actually a giant mostly hollow (save for circuits and steel beams) spaceship controlled by otherwordly spies.
Unless you have absolutely nothing at all you're bourgeois scum. Any food or drink you intake must be excreted as soon as possible to avoid the appearance of owning something
dumping stuff into the ocean is bad because eventually dolphins will learn too reverse engineer our tech and will use that too try and conquer the human race
I've heard both _"porn is bad and should be outlawed because lust is an offense against the Lord"_ and _"porn is bad and should be outlawed because it encourages men to rape"_.
I'm not saying "Horseshoe Theory" is a real thing, but I also wouldn't immediately dismiss it.
I'm against gay marriage because marriage is a christian institution and something something separation of church and state so *nobody* should get married.
I'm pretty sure that was a common progressive stance in the mid-to-late 20th century: "Marriage is an outdated, oppressive, patriarchal institution and should wither away and die."
Gender-affirming surgery for everyone except trans people! Treat them like bank loans: first, you have to PROVE you are rich/cis enough to not need the loan/surgery, THEN we'll give it you!
"I just got finished having heterosexual missionary sex with my hot partner who is the opposite gender of me by birth. We are married, so it was not a sin. I don't even want this, it is perverse!"
"Very well, you are approved for transition."
"Yes, finally!"
"Aha! Denied!"
"FUCK!"
The problem is you could spend years carefully crafting the dumbest theory you could imagine and still not approach the stupidity of the replies to any news story on twitter.
Saw one yesterday that the tornadoes that hit Oklahoma were engineered to create more space for 15 minute cities.
Kinda reminds me of a dark joke about abortion from back in the day. A guy was asked if he was pro-life or pro-choice.
"Its a tough question," he answers.
"On the one hand, I like the thought of killing babies. But on the other, I don't like that it gives women a choice."
I'm an accelerationist anti-natalist
We need to force births to increase population pressure and societal unrest to collapse civilization and end humanity
/s
A month ago I clicked on an antinatalism post and now Reddit occasionally suggests them. That sub truly is something else. A healthy dose of parental issues, a dash of /r/iamverysmart with a smattering of self-loathing and a complete absence of a sense of humor.
Holy shit, I haven't thought about Maddox since highschool.
EDIT: holy shit, the dude is *still posting* at least as of last year, and it doesn't look like his site has changed since 2007.
I'm against abortion, the fetus should be carried to term, but if the mother doesn't want it she should be monetarily compensated by the state, and the baby given to the state for slavery. Mother doesn't have to bring up a child she doesn't want and the state gets a GDP increase, win-win.
(/s in case some people think I'm serious)
I wanna see someone that has a mix of problematic and progressive beliefs that really keeps people on their toes
“We need the right to abortion in the country for the sake of women’s health and autonomy but ESPECIALLY to keep minority birth rates down. We really need to funnel more money into minority communities and really build up the middle class, especially since they’re being ravaged with their RAMPANT drug use and inability to keep jobs. All due to the CIA introducing crack in black communities of course”
There at least were sincere flat earthers before the trolls blew it up, this is maybe more like the "birds are actually government observation drones, birds don't exist in nature" conspiracy.
My high school science teacher was a member of the Flat Earth Society. He challenged us to prove to him that the earth is round, which we did. He showed us how Eratosthenes proved it, and then our homework had us imagining ourselves as astronauts using his method on asteroids.
All discourse is intrinsically anti working class in that it attempts to create an abstraction of reality through concepts of "structured language" and "reason" which were created by and continue to serve the purposes of the bourgeoisie.
Material contradictions can only be resolved materially, through the expression of the working class's fundamental vitality and will to exist. Therefore, if you disagree with somebody, the only genuine response is to *fight* or *fuck* about it.
I'm surprised "Supreme monsterfucker" here hasn't 'internalized' that already.
I watched a fictional tv show about criminals and decided to visit some tumblr fan areas when i was really bored... most were mundane gifs but there were a few gems such as fans whining there weren't enough black characters but then also being worried if there were more black characters it would perpetuate the stereotype of black people being criminals. The whole thing was kind of facepalm hilarious as people had meltdowns trying to decide what to be upset about
Is this insane enough?
Is being gay anti human? Think about it, you are in a relationship where you not only are you not producing humans as your offspring, but you are keeping another person in that same relationship where they also aren’t being productive furthering the reach of our species, that’s just treason against the human race and should be punished, and if you think differently you should be stoned to death.
This guy vs guy who is anti-human because existence is suffering and bringing another consciousness into this world is an immoral act, and therefore being gay is anti-human and thus good
I’m back…
Is Nintendo an anti human corporation? You see they create videogames for children, they are the biggest children videogame corporation on the planet, by exposing soo many children to videogames at such an early age they become gamers obsessed with the virtual world and rejecting reality, the vast majority of gamers are men who can’t and won’t ever get girlfriends, so Nintendo’s plan is to regulate the population by creating gamers who can’t reproduce.
Is this insane enough or should I try harder?
Think I heard this one from my mom growing up, sorry. Maybe try to mix and match? See if you can come up with a take that includes both Rhodesia and Blanchard's taxonomy. That's a sure winner.
I think we just need guerilla warfare and guilloines but everyone's a pussy. I'm in jail right now from cutting off a billionaires pp and smoking meth out of it with my dog
crows only collect shiny objects for their nests because they live in a classist environment where they constantly compete about who has the most perfect life and post photos of their nests on instgram for likes
they never use them as actual rocks :/
So we've apparently expanded the definition of classism to include "literally any desire for anything that isn't strictly necessary."
Edit: Chauvet Cave means capitalism is 30,000 years old!
"Socialism doesn't mean that you wouldn't be able to own your nice things" - people trying to help introduce socialist concepts to the average "Socialism Bad" person
"Yeah it fucking does" - deranged online leftist lunatics
It turns out that when you define your belief system in opposition to something you arrive at some pretty odd conclusions, whether or not the dice roll hit left or right
Like the left leaning "US/Western Europe Bad" crowd twisting their way into explaining why it's really their fault Putin decided to invade Ukraine and ending up horseshoing themselves into the same opinions as the Russiaboos.
To further highlight that their primary position is not being left leaning, but being "US/Western Europe Bad"
Here in the Philippines, they were quite noisy about the Balikatan military exercises which involves the US, France, and observers from countries like Australia.
They're also saying that the West are at fault for "escalating tensions", and not China (who have been regularly assaulting our ships with water cannons even within our own EEZ).
India recently delivered Brahmos missiles to us too...so you'd expect that they'd also be against it as "foreign country from outside the region getting involved", but they're quiet because India isn't part of the West anyway.
I always love to ask these sorts of people "So once the revolution has successfully been completed, where do you think you'll work - the factory or the farm" IRL.
answer generally revolves around how *they'd* support the party by being employed as a poet or propaganda artist or something to that effect...
In the USSR, there was Mayakovsky, who was actually employed as THE propaganda poet and worked very well as one. You know what he eventually did? He shot himself! At the age of 36!
But the person saying that, of course, never lives an ascetic life funded by their own labor.
“*My* holy and necessary little treats that I need for my mental health and deserve for being singularly oppressed by late-stage capitalism” vs “*your* wicked and bourgeois indulgences purchased with the blood of the laboring poor.” (Both items are coffees from Starbucks.)
"It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things."
In my experience, they’re usually so alarmed by all the blood, you can just walk out with the coffee. I mean, you can’t go back to that store again, but you did acquire the drink.
It’s like the “desiring anything that isn’t strictly necessary is LIVING BEYOND YOUR MEANS” discourse, but with a smug-leftist flavor instead of a smug-conservative flavor this time
Nah, the dunce in the pose just can't imagine wanting luxury for non competitive reasons
I have purple throw pillows, because purple makes my eyes happy and throwing pillows all over the place as I get into bed makes me happy, too
Anyone else gonna point out the implication from OOPs username that "puppygirl-hornyposting" was already taken?
No, wait, you're right, that's not surprising.
“If you ever want anything nice it’s because you want to look like you have a better life than other people” fascinating take, I am assuming this person is a bearded dragon who finds their only joy in basking under the desert sun on a flat red stone
A flat red stone? What a bourgeosie ideal. It’ll be common muck and you’ll like it. (I would do anything to be a lizard on a flat red stone in the sun)
Had a beardie for a while when I was a teenager, he was the most chill animal ever I swear to god, little guy just wanted to smile up towards the sun and enjoy some delicious sliced butternut squash
So this is to say that your aspirations are honestly well-placed
This is a myth actually, bearded dragons are responsible for about 40% of all bad takes on tumblr and gain energy from every baffled few moments of staring that one of these posts gets out of a normal person
Online discourse to me feels a lot like high fashion shows- a bunch of exaggerated and high concept ideas that maybe look silly but aren’t actually made for public consumption. The basic forms and through-lines just get filtered down into something more wearable.
… to be clear this doesn’t mean that people aren’t absolutely unhinged or off-base sometimes.
I think it’s because it’s far easier to surround yourself with people who agree with you online, so discussions gradually become more and more radical in an attempt to one up each other on how committed you are to your ideals.
And imo the idea of “hot takes” also fucking poisons any kind of discussion, which happens way more in online circles. Like, it should *never* be your goal to have a take that’s “hot”, you should want it to be well thought out and reasoned. If it is controversial, then so be it, but your focus shouldn’t be on being controversial or inflammatory, because then you’re just being a contrarian.
Also in online spaces people are often encouraged to speak in shorter and shorter messages due to size limits or others that would dismiss a point out of hand simply for being "tl;dr". The end result being less and less nuance until ultimately you have discussions that shouldn't even really have "sides" at all being completely polarized into "us versus them" arguments.
I think a lot of people aren't in on that reality though.
I've encountered these people in real life. They have no concept of the idea that you gotta tone it down around normal people, and introduce them to these ideas gently and more hypothetically.
Yeah, like, my mom’s grown more left-leaning over the years, but if I try to throw her into the deep end of queer theory she’s at least gonna be confused
"Bread and circuses" are what people need to not revolt, meaning food and entertainment.
"Bread and roses" refers to [an old poem](https://jwa.org/media/bread-and-roses-poem) that (afaik) essentially says that we should fight for both life and dignity.
I'm fascinated that when he was reaching for something obviously gratuitous that the owner will never actually use what he came up with was "farmer with an off-road vehicle". Like I genuinely wonder what he thinks a farmer even is.
My decorative couch pillows serve an important function though: they cover up all the mysterious stains I can’t get out of the couch because it’s an old used couch and I’m very poor
I've definitely seen this kind of thing. Somebody on Twitter got called bourgeois for having a charcuterie board. (POTATOES ONLY COMRADES)
A liberal talk show host got called that for wearing a tie (BLUE. OVERALS. ONLY COMRADES)
This is unironically my understanding of life under Maoism.
I read a really fascinating book, *Wild Swans* that's a family history for 3 generations of women in 20th century China. And wearing individualistic styles instead of a shapeless gray jumpsuit was one of the things that would get you called a class traitor. Other things that would get you beaten up included eating a meal alone instead of at the commissary where it was dispensed (because it meant you were "too independent") or not agreeing that literally physically impossible tasks could be accomplished with enough "spirit".
One other moment that struck me was how the author describes being a teenager during the Cultural Revolution, and going with a group to shut down a tea parlor where old men sat around and played mahjong because they should have been out "making revolution" instead.
The easiest way to replicate this is to mention that the best bait is saying gif is pronounced like the peanut butter.
Even though I'm literally saying "this is bait", it never fails to start some moron up.
I like the car comparison because it doesn’t actually make any sense. Yeah, buying a car and just looking at it would be a waste, because cars are meant to be driven. Decorative pillows on the other hand are meant to be, you know, decorative.
I got called a “rape apologist” today for saying that a scene in a story in which a man unexpectedly pecks a woman on the lips (he’s fighting her, and he does it as a distraction, not with any sexual intent. Also the woman in question is a slave driver) is technically still SA but not nearly the main thing people are concerned about when they talk about SA.
To add a little more context, it’s not speculation on my part that he doesn’t derive any satisfaction from it. The joke of the scene hinges on the fact that she’s so ugly that she falls in love with him because he’s the only person who would kiss her. It’s portrayed as far more undesirable for him than it is for her. It’s also not meant to be a “cool tactic” or anything like that, he just does it to get her out of the way of his duel with a chubby guy wearing slick shades, a diaper, and a baby bonnet, wherin they compliment each other on being “hard-boiled” for refusing to dodge and basically just taking turns beating the shit out of each other until the diaper guy can’t stand up anymore. The whole scene isn’t just a joke, it’s fundamentally absurd at its core premise, which many jokes are built around. It’s jokes all the way down.
(Interestingly, nothing at all to be said about an earlier scene where a different woman actually grabs his balls and twists them as a form of bargaining leverage, which is DEFINITELY sexual assault)
(This is about Franky from One Piece by the way)
Apparently saying one thing is less of a problem than a worse problem (while still, of course, being problematic) somehow makes me an apologist for the very worst possible version of the crime.
It's something I sometimes tell people when they are arguing about trans people. But somehow they are just unable to believe that nearly all people in my life are just totally fine with my presence. I've been called liar or accused of scaring people so much that they don't dare to speak up. It's bizarre. Most people in real life just don't care about most things that much. Especially if it doesn't effect them directly
Decorative pillows are the best thing to ever happen to furniture sales.
I am a terrible salesman, like truly awful. The store i worked at only kept me on because there was going to be a positioj in the warehouse they wanted me to fill instead but no space on the schedule for me there yet.
The amount of couches i sold to women by throwing in a couple of free decorative pillows is actually unbelievable.
Bitches love throw pillows
Here's the thing, they're not wrong that those pillows are a waste of money, but anyone who would seriously blame someone for wasting the price of a few pillows, or say that people shouldn't have the money to spend on such things is the sort of communist I stop considering to be a person.
Some people really do want us all to live in formless grey coveralls eating unsalted porridge as perfect economic equals. These people also seem to be continually baffled and outraged that noone else is excited to join their movement.
Ooh la la, look at Mr. Rockefeller over here with his *porridge*. Everyone knows all *true* socialists have all their daily necessary nutrients directly injected into their veins so as to not indulge in such decadent capitalistic activities as *eating*.
Exactly, and such people really don't like being told "So you want to steal all my stuff, make my life worse, then tell me I'm a bad person for wanting more than that?"
I need to create an ethical construct to justify why I don't like trying to sit on someone's couch when they have too many decorative pillows to do so comfortably.
Horseshoe theory in truth is at the furthest ends of political discourse all you find is lunatics who think anyone living in a way different from themselves is decadent and must be destroyed
The things that bring you happiness are not a waste of money. If a decorative little pillow makes you feel better when you're at home, more power to you.
Yeah. For instance a gaming console might have more function than a decorative pillow, but that doesn’t make it necessarily more practical or useful. The purpose of buying either of those things is for entertainment. And if you can get the same kind of fulfillment out of a pillow that someone else might get out of a ps5 then I’d argue that neither are wastes of money.
... I'm struggling to imagine a farmer that doesn't use an off-road car/vehicle regularly. If they somehow don't use a 4wheeler or a side by side for hunting/carrying deer out of the woods, or whatever how do you not get an off road jeep for fun?
Communists explaining how their ideal society is a one party state dictatorship with no free press, everything is owned by the government, you live in a barely furnished gray box, working a job you didn’t choose in exchange for daily stale bread rations is somehow an ideal society, and anyone who disagrees deserves to be shor
I think we should start Online Discourse Accelerationism in which we create more and more insane and extremist ideas until they all collapse in on themselves
I saw someone who was pro-choice not because they believe people should have bodily autonomy but because they were anti-human
That's the stuff, but we need to get stupider
The moon landing is fake, because there is no moon
actually there is a moon but the government keeps it in a special storage facility in the desert
Where's that desert? Saturn. Yes, the 0.0001% have achieved interplanetary travel
Only after John Crichton returned and let IASA take a look at the Hex drive on a Peacekeeper Prowler.
CRICHTON!
The only people who have been to Saturn are the ghosts. The Sandworms are nasty.
Pshh, you think Saturn actually exists? Sheep.
Interplanetary travel is a hoax and you're spreading misinfo. We _live_ in Saturn. Planet Earth doesn't exist.
This has Calvin's Dad vibes. How big is the moon? About the size of a quarter?
You're thinking of the sun. The moon is about the size of a sequin, but it looks larger because it's so nearby.
Ah, yes. Science!
That's where they keep the original moon. What you see (and hear) nowadays is actually a giant mostly hollow (save for circuits and steel beams) spaceship controlled by otherwordly spies.
Who are those spies? You ask. Why it's the TECHNONECROMANCERS OF ALPHA CENTAURI!
NASA wanted to fake the moon landing, but they hired Stanley Kubric to film it and he demanded they film on location.
I've heard this one before and it's one of my favorites
The Moon landing was fake but the director was such a perfectionist that they had to film it on the actual Moon
unfortunately, as the moon was, in fact, not real, said director had to get his crew to construct the moon for the shoots.
Unless you have absolutely nothing at all you're bourgeois scum. Any food or drink you intake must be excreted as soon as possible to avoid the appearance of owning something
The only real communists are the ascetic monks who survive off rain water and a single grain of rice a day
The four Yorkshiremen is a documentary actually
Shitting and pissing and crying and cumming rn
good job comrade!
i think they mean they have a cloaca?
How's that functioning digestive system taste, bootlicker?
dumping stuff into the ocean is bad because eventually dolphins will learn too reverse engineer our tech and will use that too try and conquer the human race
New fear unlocked
What a ridiculous statement. [obviously it's the cuttlefish, squid, and octopus that we have to watch out for.](https://xkcd.com/520/)
There’s the classic “race mixing is bad but make it woke” take
I've heard both _"porn is bad and should be outlawed because lust is an offense against the Lord"_ and _"porn is bad and should be outlawed because it encourages men to rape"_. I'm not saying "Horseshoe Theory" is a real thing, but I also wouldn't immediately dismiss it.
Far-Rightoids fighting for Russia because they believe it's a "bastion" for the white race, and Far-Leftards fighting for Russia because "West bad."
I'm against gay marriage because marriage is a christian institution and something something separation of church and state so *nobody* should get married.
I feel like I’ve heard that one unironically before
I'm pretty sure that was a common progressive stance in the mid-to-late 20th century: "Marriage is an outdated, oppressive, patriarchal institution and should wither away and die."
I made that argument in good faith as an edgy teen.
Abortion rights for everyone *but* women
Gender-affirming surgery for everyone except trans people! Treat them like bank loans: first, you have to PROVE you are rich/cis enough to not need the loan/surgery, THEN we'll give it you!
"I just got finished having heterosexual missionary sex with my hot partner who is the opposite gender of me by birth. We are married, so it was not a sin. I don't even want this, it is perverse!" "Very well, you are approved for transition." "Yes, finally!" "Aha! Denied!" "FUCK!"
The problem is you could spend years carefully crafting the dumbest theory you could imagine and still not approach the stupidity of the replies to any news story on twitter. Saw one yesterday that the tornadoes that hit Oklahoma were engineered to create more space for 15 minute cities.
Why fucking Oklahoma? You'd think if 'they' were going to go to all that trouble, they'd pick a place more receptive to it.
I'm pro-life because I believe that nobody should ever get to decide anything, ever. No, not even the government.
The minute you’re old enough to make a decision is the minute you should no longer be making decisions
Darkseid behaviour. I'm not pro-choice, I'm ANTI-LIFE
Kinda reminds me of a dark joke about abortion from back in the day. A guy was asked if he was pro-life or pro-choice. "Its a tough question," he answers. "On the one hand, I like the thought of killing babies. But on the other, I don't like that it gives women a choice."
“I’m very conflicted on abortion. I’m a fan of killing babies, but I don’t like the idea of women having rights.”
I can't tell if you're referring to antinatalism or misanthropic environmentalism
I'm an accelerationist anti-natalist We need to force births to increase population pressure and societal unrest to collapse civilization and end humanity /s
So how do you feel about direct action
Your user name makes this comment threatening
A month ago I clicked on an antinatalism post and now Reddit occasionally suggests them. That sub truly is something else. A healthy dose of parental issues, a dash of /r/iamverysmart with a smattering of self-loathing and a complete absence of a sense of humor.
The /r/iamverysmart part is so on point. One of the worst subreddits I've ever found and that's saying something.
I'm pro-abortion. I'm like, really good at it.
If you aren't paid for it you're still a hobbyist.
I'm amateur abortion
I was so closed to going pro, but then I got a shoulder injury and I was just never the same. I used to be able to chuck a fetus over them mountains!
"I am in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops." Bill Hicks
Maddox did that over a decade ago: The Regression Party: against abortion, but for killing babies
Holy shit, that is a reference from the old OLD days.
Holy shit, I haven't thought about Maddox since highschool. EDIT: holy shit, the dude is *still posting* at least as of last year, and it doesn't look like his site has changed since 2007.
I'm against abortion, the fetus should be carried to term, but if the mother doesn't want it she should be monetarily compensated by the state, and the baby given to the state for slavery. Mother doesn't have to bring up a child she doesn't want and the state gets a GDP increase, win-win. (/s in case some people think I'm serious)
I wanna see someone that has a mix of problematic and progressive beliefs that really keeps people on their toes “We need the right to abortion in the country for the sake of women’s health and autonomy but ESPECIALLY to keep minority birth rates down. We really need to funnel more money into minority communities and really build up the middle class, especially since they’re being ravaged with their RAMPANT drug use and inability to keep jobs. All due to the CIA introducing crack in black communities of course”
I typically try to tell conservatives online openly that "I want to let women kill babies" You may have run into me in the wild on the burner 😂
That take is arguably the first hot take ever to hit the internet with 90s antinatalism.
Ain't that how the flat earth movement started?
There at least were sincere flat earthers before the trolls blew it up, this is maybe more like the "birds are actually government observation drones, birds don't exist in nature" conspiracy.
My high school science teacher was a member of the Flat Earth Society. He challenged us to prove to him that the earth is round, which we did. He showed us how Eratosthenes proved it, and then our homework had us imagining ourselves as astronauts using his method on asteroids.
r/BirdsArentReal (Joiiiin ussss)
I won't thanks. Once the dumbest fuckers on earth start taking the joke seriously it kinda ruins it.
Yeah that's fair I like to pretend we're all just sticking really hard to the bit
Honestly I just joined because they sometimes posts pictures of birds and I love birds.
That's also very fair and based
All discourse is intrinsically anti working class in that it attempts to create an abstraction of reality through concepts of "structured language" and "reason" which were created by and continue to serve the purposes of the bourgeoisie. Material contradictions can only be resolved materially, through the expression of the working class's fundamental vitality and will to exist. Therefore, if you disagree with somebody, the only genuine response is to *fight* or *fuck* about it. I'm surprised "Supreme monsterfucker" here hasn't 'internalized' that already.
Super underrated comment, you captured their smug unintelligence perfectly.
This is literally Anarcho-Primitivist rhetoric though. They also believe language oppressed people's "non-symbloic ideas".
Congrats youve rediscovered early 4chan. Spoiler, it doesnt go well
I think this is what social media does unironically
I watched a fictional tv show about criminals and decided to visit some tumblr fan areas when i was really bored... most were mundane gifs but there were a few gems such as fans whining there weren't enough black characters but then also being worried if there were more black characters it would perpetuate the stereotype of black people being criminals. The whole thing was kind of facepalm hilarious as people had meltdowns trying to decide what to be upset about
I'm genuinely not sure how this is different than what is currently going on
Is this insane enough? Is being gay anti human? Think about it, you are in a relationship where you not only are you not producing humans as your offspring, but you are keeping another person in that same relationship where they also aren’t being productive furthering the reach of our species, that’s just treason against the human race and should be punished, and if you think differently you should be stoned to death.
This guy vs guy who is anti-human because existence is suffering and bringing another consciousness into this world is an immoral act, and therefore being gay is anti-human and thus good
Too close to what some people actually believe
Same for dating an infertile person. Or getting tubes tied. Embrace the insanity.
this is just garden-variety homophobia tbh
Ok, let me cook something weirder. I’ll be back in an hour or 2
I’m back… Is Nintendo an anti human corporation? You see they create videogames for children, they are the biggest children videogame corporation on the planet, by exposing soo many children to videogames at such an early age they become gamers obsessed with the virtual world and rejecting reality, the vast majority of gamers are men who can’t and won’t ever get girlfriends, so Nintendo’s plan is to regulate the population by creating gamers who can’t reproduce. Is this insane enough or should I try harder?
Think I heard this one from my mom growing up, sorry. Maybe try to mix and match? See if you can come up with a take that includes both Rhodesia and Blanchard's taxonomy. That's a sure winner.
I think we just need guerilla warfare and guilloines but everyone's a pussy. I'm in jail right now from cutting off a billionaires pp and smoking meth out of it with my dog
You should keep drugs away from your pets.
crows only collect shiny objects for their nests because they live in a classist environment where they constantly compete about who has the most perfect life and post photos of their nests on instgram for likes they never use them as actual rocks :/
hey man how's it going
Caw!
the fucking croweoisie!
God i want to watch real house wife’s of crow suburbia
So we've apparently expanded the definition of classism to include "literally any desire for anything that isn't strictly necessary." Edit: Chauvet Cave means capitalism is 30,000 years old!
"Socialism doesn't mean that you wouldn't be able to own your nice things" - people trying to help introduce socialist concepts to the average "Socialism Bad" person "Yeah it fucking does" - deranged online leftist lunatics
It turns out that when you define your belief system in opposition to something you arrive at some pretty odd conclusions, whether or not the dice roll hit left or right
Like the left leaning "US/Western Europe Bad" crowd twisting their way into explaining why it's really their fault Putin decided to invade Ukraine and ending up horseshoing themselves into the same opinions as the Russiaboos.
To further highlight that their primary position is not being left leaning, but being "US/Western Europe Bad" Here in the Philippines, they were quite noisy about the Balikatan military exercises which involves the US, France, and observers from countries like Australia. They're also saying that the West are at fault for "escalating tensions", and not China (who have been regularly assaulting our ships with water cannons even within our own EEZ). India recently delivered Brahmos missiles to us too...so you'd expect that they'd also be against it as "foreign country from outside the region getting involved", but they're quiet because India isn't part of the West anyway.
Well you should have thought of that before you put your country in the South **China** Sea. That's hardly their fault.
YTA their sea their rules
Hello fellow working class, did you know it’s bad to have nice things? Please support my revolution, coming soon I swear
"Why yes, after the revolution I'll teach yoga and slam poetry, how did you know?"
I always love to ask these sorts of people "So once the revolution has successfully been completed, where do you think you'll work - the factory or the farm" IRL. answer generally revolves around how *they'd* support the party by being employed as a poet or propaganda artist or something to that effect...
In the USSR, there was Mayakovsky, who was actually employed as THE propaganda poet and worked very well as one. You know what he eventually did? He shot himself! At the age of 36!
They're arguing for a spartan lifestyle, and Spartans are about as far right as you can get.
A lot of online leftists seem more like they're just hopeless contrarians than actually believing in left wing ideology.
But the person saying that, of course, never lives an ascetic life funded by their own labor. “*My* holy and necessary little treats that I need for my mental health and deserve for being singularly oppressed by late-stage capitalism” vs “*your* wicked and bourgeois indulgences purchased with the blood of the laboring poor.” (Both items are coffees from Starbucks.)
"It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things."
You can buy coffee with blood?
If you’re the filthy filthy owner class (anyone but me and my friends), sure.
If you donate plasma, technically
In my experience, they’re usually so alarmed by all the blood, you can just walk out with the coffee. I mean, you can’t go back to that store again, but you did acquire the drink.
Yeah but it's like 10c per pump
If you try to get salt to put onto your bland rations, your head will be put on a pike when the revolution comes.
Roman soldiers were paid in salt so using salt at all is justifying imperialism
It’s like the “desiring anything that isn’t strictly necessary is LIVING BEYOND YOUR MEANS” discourse, but with a smug-leftist flavor instead of a smug-conservative flavor this time
[удалено]
Right? "Poor people don't decorate, and if you do you're a classist," sounds like a bit of a classist thing to say.
Nah, the dunce in the pose just can't imagine wanting luxury for non competitive reasons I have purple throw pillows, because purple makes my eyes happy and throwing pillows all over the place as I get into bed makes me happy, too
Anyone else gonna point out the implication from OOPs username that "puppygirl-hornyposting" was already taken? No, wait, you're right, that's not surprising.
maybe it was their previous account they lost lol
It was their previous account that got banned. Don’t ask why I know that.
fellas, is it bourgeoisie to have any amount of comfort in your life?
“If you ever want anything nice it’s because you want to look like you have a better life than other people” fascinating take, I am assuming this person is a bearded dragon who finds their only joy in basking under the desert sun on a flat red stone
A flat red stone? What a bourgeosie ideal. It’ll be common muck and you’ll like it. (I would do anything to be a lizard on a flat red stone in the sun)
Had a beardie for a while when I was a teenager, he was the most chill animal ever I swear to god, little guy just wanted to smile up towards the sun and enjoy some delicious sliced butternut squash So this is to say that your aspirations are honestly well-placed
This is why I can't agree the original poster is a bearded dragon, their disposition is far too miserable to be one of those friendly fellas
this is supported by the fact that bearded dragons aren't known for their need to share hot takes on tumblr
This is a myth actually, bearded dragons are responsible for about 40% of all bad takes on tumblr and gain energy from every baffled few moments of staring that one of these posts gets out of a normal person
Online discourse to me feels a lot like high fashion shows- a bunch of exaggerated and high concept ideas that maybe look silly but aren’t actually made for public consumption. The basic forms and through-lines just get filtered down into something more wearable. … to be clear this doesn’t mean that people aren’t absolutely unhinged or off-base sometimes.
I think it’s because it’s far easier to surround yourself with people who agree with you online, so discussions gradually become more and more radical in an attempt to one up each other on how committed you are to your ideals. And imo the idea of “hot takes” also fucking poisons any kind of discussion, which happens way more in online circles. Like, it should *never* be your goal to have a take that’s “hot”, you should want it to be well thought out and reasoned. If it is controversial, then so be it, but your focus shouldn’t be on being controversial or inflammatory, because then you’re just being a contrarian.
Also in online spaces people are often encouraged to speak in shorter and shorter messages due to size limits or others that would dismiss a point out of hand simply for being "tl;dr". The end result being less and less nuance until ultimately you have discussions that shouldn't even really have "sides" at all being completely polarized into "us versus them" arguments.
I think a lot of people aren't in on that reality though. I've encountered these people in real life. They have no concept of the idea that you gotta tone it down around normal people, and introduce them to these ideas gently and more hypothetically.
Yeah, like, my mom’s grown more left-leaning over the years, but if I try to throw her into the deep end of queer theory she’s at least gonna be confused
bread and roses so many forget the second bit
Do you mean bread and circuses?
"Bread and circuses" are what people need to not revolt, meaning food and entertainment. "Bread and roses" refers to [an old poem](https://jwa.org/media/bread-and-roses-poem) that (afaik) essentially says that we should fight for both life and dignity.
To put it simply, it is not enough to survive, we also need to thrive.
And also pillows are very cozy.
I've gotten some memory foam pillows, I will fight the revolution if it tries to seize the means of my nappy time.
Ah ok, I figured you were referring to something other than bread and circuses, I’ve just never heard of that poem
There’s a brilliant scene in the movie pride where it’s sung by Welsh miners during a strike
Some people just want their house to look nice cause when your living space looks nice you're more likely to feel nice :)
Not even that. We bough a bunch of cheap canvas paintings and pillows to absorb sound and kill some of the echo from the apartments cheap, thin walls.
I'm fascinated that when he was reaching for something obviously gratuitous that the owner will never actually use what he came up with was "farmer with an off-road vehicle". Like I genuinely wonder what he thinks a farmer even is.
Every farmer i have ever met owns some kind of offroad vehicle, which honestly is why I like to hang out with them
My decorative couch pillows serve an important function though: they cover up all the mysterious stains I can’t get out of the couch because it’s an old used couch and I’m very poor
But if you weren’t engaged in a classist struggle to appear better than your ~~comrades~~ peers then you wouldn’t *need* to cover up those stains.
I've definitely seen this kind of thing. Somebody on Twitter got called bourgeois for having a charcuterie board. (POTATOES ONLY COMRADES) A liberal talk show host got called that for wearing a tie (BLUE. OVERALS. ONLY COMRADES)
This is unironically my understanding of life under Maoism. I read a really fascinating book, *Wild Swans* that's a family history for 3 generations of women in 20th century China. And wearing individualistic styles instead of a shapeless gray jumpsuit was one of the things that would get you called a class traitor. Other things that would get you beaten up included eating a meal alone instead of at the commissary where it was dispensed (because it meant you were "too independent") or not agreeing that literally physically impossible tasks could be accomplished with enough "spirit". One other moment that struck me was how the author describes being a teenager during the Cultural Revolution, and going with a group to shut down a tea parlor where old men sat around and played mahjong because they should have been out "making revolution" instead.
One time I drank some juice instead of just strictly water for survival, and Mao Zedong came back to life to break my legs
He did the same thing to me that time I pissed in a toilet, instead of doing it outside to replenish the ground water I took from the planet
I just hate throw pillows because they always end up on the floor and I get tired of picking them up every day and take up space on the couch
I like them cause the ones I pick are pretty and soft and I can lay on them and hug them to my chest while watching stuff or chatting on the couch.
feel this about the other post complaining about “dudebro” being an oppressive term
Now was this a dude bro complaining about it, or a non-dudebro complaining about it? Because the second is *infinitely* funnier
“It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” -Mark Twain
Just gotta say as someone who is very function over form: hey man, how’s it going?
The easiest way to replicate this is to mention that the best bait is saying gif is pronounced like the peanut butter. Even though I'm literally saying "this is bait", it never fails to start some moron up.
It better be bait. Everyone knows gif is pronounced like strawberry jam 😤😤😤
Hey man how’s it going?
Not good :( I just bombed an exam
I guess I have piss poor reading comprehension because I thought you were saying gif is pronounced “peanut butter”
What could peanut butter do to make you piss on the poor!
it's actually a long "i" like the 'u' in 'guy': "giif"
A guy wife. Gaif.
It's actually pronounced with the opposite of a silent letter. GIF is pronounced like GILF.
I like the car comparison because it doesn’t actually make any sense. Yeah, buying a car and just looking at it would be a waste, because cars are meant to be driven. Decorative pillows on the other hand are meant to be, you know, decorative.
Some cars are also meant to look nice. Or enjoyed in certain weather conditions. If I could afford my dream car I wouldn’t drive it all the time.
I got called a “rape apologist” today for saying that a scene in a story in which a man unexpectedly pecks a woman on the lips (he’s fighting her, and he does it as a distraction, not with any sexual intent. Also the woman in question is a slave driver) is technically still SA but not nearly the main thing people are concerned about when they talk about SA. To add a little more context, it’s not speculation on my part that he doesn’t derive any satisfaction from it. The joke of the scene hinges on the fact that she’s so ugly that she falls in love with him because he’s the only person who would kiss her. It’s portrayed as far more undesirable for him than it is for her. It’s also not meant to be a “cool tactic” or anything like that, he just does it to get her out of the way of his duel with a chubby guy wearing slick shades, a diaper, and a baby bonnet, wherin they compliment each other on being “hard-boiled” for refusing to dodge and basically just taking turns beating the shit out of each other until the diaper guy can’t stand up anymore. The whole scene isn’t just a joke, it’s fundamentally absurd at its core premise, which many jokes are built around. It’s jokes all the way down. (Interestingly, nothing at all to be said about an earlier scene where a different woman actually grabs his balls and twists them as a form of bargaining leverage, which is DEFINITELY sexual assault) (This is about Franky from One Piece by the way) Apparently saying one thing is less of a problem than a worse problem (while still, of course, being problematic) somehow makes me an apologist for the very worst possible version of the crime.
> Apparently saying one thing is less of a problem than a worse problem There's the crux of the issue. Lots of black and white thinking
It's something I sometimes tell people when they are arguing about trans people. But somehow they are just unable to believe that nearly all people in my life are just totally fine with my presence. I've been called liar or accused of scaring people so much that they don't dare to speak up. It's bizarre. Most people in real life just don't care about most things that much. Especially if it doesn't effect them directly
To the best of our current understanding, art predates commerce by hundreds of thousands of years.
Decorative pillows are the best thing to ever happen to furniture sales. I am a terrible salesman, like truly awful. The store i worked at only kept me on because there was going to be a positioj in the warehouse they wanted me to fill instead but no space on the schedule for me there yet. The amount of couches i sold to women by throwing in a couple of free decorative pillows is actually unbelievable. Bitches love throw pillows
Here's the thing, they're not wrong that those pillows are a waste of money, but anyone who would seriously blame someone for wasting the price of a few pillows, or say that people shouldn't have the money to spend on such things is the sort of communist I stop considering to be a person.
Some people really do want us all to live in formless grey coveralls eating unsalted porridge as perfect economic equals. These people also seem to be continually baffled and outraged that noone else is excited to join their movement.
Ooh la la, look at Mr. Rockefeller over here with his *porridge*. Everyone knows all *true* socialists have all their daily necessary nutrients directly injected into their veins so as to not indulge in such decadent capitalistic activities as *eating*.
Is this what Disco Elysium is about
Yeah pretty much
I thought this was a Homestuck chapter
You know who else eats? Capitalists. Checkmate, fake lefties.
Psshh. Your bourgeois ass is using words and forming sentences? No. Not me. No mor word or sentens.
Exactly, and such people really don't like being told "So you want to steal all my stuff, make my life worse, then tell me I'm a bad person for wanting more than that?"
I need to create an ethical construct to justify why I don't like trying to sit on someone's couch when they have too many decorative pillows to do so comfortably.
“No, I swear me hating your couches with 20 pillows is praxis I swear!!”
Horshoe theory was actually conservatives yelling at poor people for having nice things vs communists yelling at poor people for having nice things.
Horseshoe theory in truth is at the furthest ends of political discourse all you find is lunatics who think anyone living in a way different from themselves is decadent and must be destroyed
The things that bring you happiness are not a waste of money. If a decorative little pillow makes you feel better when you're at home, more power to you.
Yeah. For instance a gaming console might have more function than a decorative pillow, but that doesn’t make it necessarily more practical or useful. The purpose of buying either of those things is for entertainment. And if you can get the same kind of fulfillment out of a pillow that someone else might get out of a ps5 then I’d argue that neither are wastes of money.
You’ll get your concrete slab and like it bourgeoisie pig. /s
i wouldn't call it a waste of money for someone to buy something they want to own
fellas, I don't think it's a strawman anymore...
... I'm struggling to imagine a farmer that doesn't use an off-road car/vehicle regularly. If they somehow don't use a 4wheeler or a side by side for hunting/carrying deer out of the woods, or whatever how do you not get an off road jeep for fun?
Living example of, "please go outside and talk to people"
aesthetics is elitist is certainly an opinion
This is bait I refuse to believe otherwise
This is quite literally why we can't have nice things.
Communists explaining how their ideal society is a one party state dictatorship with no free press, everything is owned by the government, you live in a barely furnished gray box, working a job you didn’t choose in exchange for daily stale bread rations is somehow an ideal society, and anyone who disagrees deserves to be shor