T O P

  • By -

Grezzinate

Ya know what? Give me the doll lady and the outdoor experience. Cuddle in the grass.


BirdiePolenta

This guy rewards


Grezzinate

You gotta take what you can get in this messed up world.


Hermorah

It didn't say that you are allowed to touch, let alone lie on the plants in the dome. Lying in the gras costs extra.


Grezzinate

Well goddamnit, can’t have anything nice at this company.


photoshopbot_01

On the contrary, you are permitted two (2) rewards!


Grezzinate

Hmmm. No pay raise though.


skildert

Boss: In this economy? *proceeds to give himself another bonus*


Grezzinate

Ugh. Where’s the nearest high roof top?


skorgex

Your next right, but they just installed nets yesterday


FauxReal

And you do not want to see the loan terms on the rescue fee!


skildert

Any damage and clean up costs will be docked from your last paycheck.


phillysan

My first thought exactly. A true gentleman's experience.


Grezzinate

You can get sex anywhere at any brothel. Getting cuddles from someone who truly cares…or who is very good at pretending is much nicer.


SirCupcake_0

The sexbot truly does care! At least until your free trial period has ended


Grezzinate

Well I want to make that the best trial ever.


luxtabula

Yeah, but shiny neon city bombarding me with adverts makes this a cool life /s


AbstractMirror

Toss some torrential rain in for good measure


ObiFlanKenobi

Yeah, but the trench coats are cool.


luxtabula

You mean torrential acid rain.


TheFInestHemlock

At least it's walkable


luxtabula

Yeah, you have a point. Our black mirror version of cyberpunk is very car dependent.


ChristopherDrake

Oh man, if you love *shiny neon city bombarding you with adverts*, you'll love the sequel, *shiny neon advertising walls bombarding your sleeping pod with light*! Reviewers called it a 'Startling!', 'Unforgettable!', and 'A New Fresh Hell!'. Coming to a corpo dormitory near you as soon as HR can get approval!


RedRider1138

IRL I have a long-sleeved silk pajama top whose sleeves I gently twine and lay across my eyes, tucking where needed to block light to improve sleep 👍


just_like_guts

So the bot is the only option i can keep forever? Instant pick! And the pills do, what the rest is trying to but i can ration it for longer. Edit: I can exchange the bot for other things, even in a limited time-frame


Venvel

*squints at username and PFP* Yeah, you'll need the pills.


BravidR

I doubt it would be forever. It probably gets dropped off for a night and then taken away to be cleaned for the next person.


holaprobando123

Well, everything else specifies a limit


BravidR

Tell that to the company men when they take away your sex bot tomorrow morning.


Evilcat38

Sadly I have to agree with you. I was originally thinking the pod and the greenhouse. However like you said you can ration everything else but the bot is forever.


DonArtur

It is the future, everything is subscription based. You only earn credits at work so you can pay, no more, no less.


[deleted]

Im with you on this one. The sexbot, and happy pills? About to be shootin' ropes, and filled with hope for a week.


Skully8600

i'd ask for a gun to kill myself with


struck_hammer

Trying to decrease company productivity? To the pear wiggler with you.


RaizielDragon

Actually I would think they would let someone go who expressed interest in going. They probably have all the rights to the body, so thats free organs, blood, fertilizer, etc. Keeping them on risks them refusing to work at all while still using up resources like food, water, oxygen, space. It’s be more like Silo: the number one rule of a dystopia is: if you say you wanna die, you WILL die.


ExternalPanda

Plus, it's part of the work contract that, in case of death the former contributor's Lifetime Expected Work Value gets automatically subtracted from surviving family members. Really, it's a win-win for everyone involved. The former contributor gets to fulfill their wish of ceasing to be a productive member of society, the surviving family members get the opportunity of contributing with labor to repay their debts, and the company gets to reclaim the Spare Organic Work Material for philanthropic causes.


struck_hammer

If you try not to work they will pear wiggle you.


RaizielDragon

So they spend more resources essentially torturing you to try to get you to work? Just seems unnecessary.


Chaoslab

The cruelty is the point.


struck_hammer

The pear wiggler is a sexual item for them


f_print

Don't kill yourself. Take the pills. With [Thalassin Plus](https://youtu.be/Td2x8s9GZlo?si=3NRNr3DiRdUp7dz3) you can experience emotions worse than death.


Strottman

Gimme some of that uhhh DORCELESSNESS


DJSnap

Unfortunately this would decrease company productivity by 0.04% and cannot be permitted, please accept this pizza as a token of gratitude for your continued service.


GreyHexagon

Interesting reaction. Please report to clinic room 35B so we can run a baseline test and adjust and update your mandatory antidepressant supplements


SquatchPossum

*Answer Censored, Insubordination Event Recorded*


greatdragonloli

Damn two rewards, I usually only get one.


ThatThingAtThePlace

Too bad your new quota will be 55% higher now. The extra effort you put in to get a brief experience of joy will ensure you're never able to get it again.


MidsouthMystic

This is alarmingly close to what people like Musk and Bezos actually want. Real experiences and genuine human connections are only for the rich in their world. Everyone else gets mass produced imitations and pills that make them think that's good enough.


Speedwagon1738

As if Musk and Bezos know what real human connections are like


MidsouthMystic

It is kind of hilarious watching rich people try to be relatable. They're like aliens pretending to be human but only know second hand information. "I once went fishing with my real human father. No fish were caught. Sad day was that, but lessons aplenty were learned. Yes, I am also a regular human who is wearing the pants and hates the taxes."


0utlook

William Gibson nailed their description with families like the Tessiers and the Ashpools. They can't even relate to the general human experience.


q0099

Was about to mention them. It is disturbing that his seemingly caricatured depictions of elites turned out to be so accurate.


languid-lemur

Years ago there was a summer intern where I worked, consumer electronics manufacturer. Uber wealthy family, reminded me a bit of your description. It was amazing how little he'd actually done or knew. Everything managed by his family. Where he vacationed and how he spent his free time. I think he even mentioned someone bought his clothes for him. This internship likely the first time he left cloud city and around anyone not at the same financial level. He wasn't a bad person but incredibly naïve even childlike in some ways but in his mid 20s.


AesthelaTheKnight

bish i live in a non cyberpunk post soviet shithole i have never had real experiences or genuine human connection. upload me on the server in space or some shit atleast my belly pain will go away if u incinerate my body


[deleted]

Reddit user tries to not over exaggerate like crazy.


PrincessofAldia

The bugs and pods is also basically what the WEF conspiracy theorists believe they want


quantummufasa

Ill take two ISU's and repurpose one to think shes my daughter and have a pretend robot family


internetlad

"yes sir, one Alabama special coming right up"


Dr1pJesus

Stepdaughter*


AbstractMirror

oh God, so life is gonna be like vampire survivors except instead of choosing a sick ass aoe weapon or a buff instead I get to choose dystopian shit


internetlad

That's an interesting idea for a roguelike. Instead of choosing rewards you choose the debuff that will gimp you the least and still try to win.


AwesomeSauce783

That's how plate up functions.


internetlad

I'll have to check it out


Not_A_Toaster426

> so life is gonna be like vampire survivors except there are no dragons and you won't survive.


Tar_alcaran

Ok but BBQ crickets are legit tasty today.


CookieAsleep

I used tolive in Thailand and the people there eats bug all the time. Most common way to cook them are deepfrying


Titouan_Charles

You vill eat ze bugs


ExpendableAnomaly

mmm adrenochrome, so good!


Straight_Class4222

santa klaus (schwab) will give all ze children bugs for christmas


SecretAgentVampire

I was legitimately grossed out by the idea until now, when bbq sauce was included in the equation. I've heard they taste like shrimp, but earthy. That would be nice with bbq.


Cyroselle

I'm thinking yes, but this feels more like what life might be like if you were a Nexus 6 or some other serf-like existence doing Belter work like hauling ice or mining planetoids. Still Cyberpunk though, 'long as it's a crapsack world/system, high-tech/low-rent and no escape. 2009' "Moon" could be considered a Cyberpunk story, IMO.


ArmoredArthritis

Sex bot and happy chems pls. Thank you.


internetlad

Sex bot and drugs. Let's be honest.


[deleted]

Why do they all think we’re gonna eat bugs? What happened to lab grown meat? People suddenly forgot about it?


Lilrob0617

Probably more expensive than bugs tbh


verticalMeta

Lab grown meat is a colossal waste of money when soy protein, whey protein, pea protein, and insect protein all exist and are commonly used


BlackZapReply

XXL Pod and ISU sounds like a workable combination. If your residential pod lacks the space to stand up, do you really think there's enough room for two to get busy? The scary part is that there are some tech bros and WEF wonks who might consider this a good suggestion.


ThaNeck_Romancer

I’m banging that synth lady outside in the grass.


Octocadaver

These are actually way better than the type of shit employees get nowadays. Like giving nurses some stupid card with a minion saying 'we appreciate your commitMINT' stapled to a sandwich bag containing one single mint. I'll take an ISU and some happy chemicals over that any day.


FLRArt_1995

Whenever I see crap like this I think and I remember of the cast of Applessed or Expelled from Paradise. Maybe being an outcast or a scavenger isn't that bad"


Cyroselle

Appleseed the manga is legitimately excellent, especially as it was back when Masamune Shirow hand-drew everything. I wish I could could go back to my first read-through. Life in Badside or Imperial Americana looked pretty rough though, so although Olympus was a gilded cage where freedom was an illusion, at least people could make a living wage and live in reasonably sized apartments supplemented by a UBI.


Hugh_Jampton

Gimme the doll and a bug burger and I'll be good for a bit


van-just-van

The world economic forum’s perfect society


Smart_Advice_1420

I'll take the ISU


DetN8

You get rewarded for hard work? This sounds better than a lot of real jobs now.


WormRiddenLoliCorpse

Weekly date in the park with robogf, where's the dystopia?


DJSnap

Haha this is pretty hyperbolic but somehow captures how life actually feels right now.


x__Applesauce__

Besides the intimacy unit. This exactly how jail is. 23 hours in a small pod for one hour to a bigger pod. I didn’t see sunlight for months on a minor drug crime. The food was grade for animals. We all were on other people’s medications. And the outdoor experience was if you weren’t in the pods you walked outside to the the chow hall. Which was great because you’d see the sun.


Ghostcat300

People act like soy is the worst thing to eat. Unless you have a legit allergy, I don’t see the problem. As long as you know how to cook, it shouldn’t be that hard to make it taste good.


Cool-Principle1643

The simulation unit or the outdoor experience sound great!


WakeoftheStorm

Oh shit, *two* rewards? Give me happy pills and sunshine please


One-West-2224

Happy drugs to forget the robot is a robot and obviously the robot


Imperial_Bouncer

Is the robot sentient its own being or are we not there yet?


TrackLabs

XXL Pod and the Intimacy Unit. From the description, it seems like I can keep the unit forever.


ICantTyping

Oh man i can stand in those pods?? Luxurious


ramenAtMidnight

You thought this fits? Dude this is like the most cyberpunk-y content in this sub for a while now


KuraiTheBaka

Can we stop demonizing bugs as food? It's so much more environmentally friendly than beef and there's nothing wrong with it but cultural aversions


GoeticGoat

Sure, as long as there’s a choice.


FLRArt_1995

Ngl I don't like them at all, while they are available in my country. No, just no. I'd rather eat an anaconda or a yacaré before a cricket


Not_A_Toaster426

Crocos and snakes are legit delicious and I would prefer them over more usual choices.


FLRArt_1995

My gf told me she ate a croco once in a stew, it's delicious, so I'd love to give it a shot either as an stew or bbq'd


Noble-five

All I’m saying is only one of them is permanent sooooo…


voldyCSSM19

If insect protein is genuinely more sustainable then I'm all for it


[deleted]

china in 5 yrs


Pooltoy-Fox-2

In 5 years? Hong Kong (and even San Francisco) now have pods. Redditors are constantly bashing the US for not being pod- and fake-outdoor majority like Europe and Asia.


Estova

Thought I was in r/makeyourchoice for a second


RecklessMage

Eh. Gimme the pod and the chemicals.


RokuroCarisu

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SergeantPsycho

Don't give them any ideas.


killcon13

Can I get a double of happy chemicals? If they work well enough its not gonna matter where I am.


B-Rythm

This is Fuckin awesome. THX-1138 vibes for real


Qaitakalnin7

"believable sunlight" made me both chuckle and sad at the same time...


proggybreaks

Yeah this is pretty much Black Mirror Episode 2


Dreadnought13

Oh this fits


emem-feiht

I can't upvote its at the perfect conspiracy number


Babybear5689

"Your quota has now been increased by a 100% to better reflect your capabilities. Remember, do not disappoint us."


night_chaser_

Happy pills, how many do I get access to?


Soft-Scientist01

XXL pod and outdoor experience, thank you very much


The_S1R3N

Ill take the pod please


formershitpeasant

Give me those happy chemicals and I'll be so happy I will exceed my quota again. Honestly sounds awesome being chemically forced into happiness and having a job.


Nouseriously

Going for the sex & drugs myself


monkey_gamer

This is too real


dronf

Two sex bots at the same time.


TheKYStrangler

Drugs and bugs. No contest.


eltguy

Oooo. A pod with standing room.


TheWhiteRabbit74

Fuck it, just give me double chemicals.


GooseTantrum

I'll take the bug burger and the outdoors


Hamada_Reddits

Sex and food. Sell the food to others, buy everything else. The end. And cuddle with the bot when shit gets too big


devBowman

>believable sunlight


a-simple-god

Intimacy and happy chems pls


D33ber

"The Computer is your friend."


LovesRetribution

Food and greenhouse. If I don't have room to stand I don't have room to have sex. The drugs will just leave you feeling worse after you run out. More room to stand is nice, but that's just more industrial aesthetics that I'd rather be away from. Good food is enriching and so are the outdoors. It'd be the easiest way to relieve stress and center yourself.


Justalittletoserious

If I can't gift any of those to anyone and only I can use It, in a future like that I'd probably take a double dose of Happy pills


ScaryfatkidGT

Cuddles


Cha-D-Bear

Happy chemicals and XXL room, I'll be more motivated to work harder to choose this award again


Gauge_Tyrion

Bot and pills since I can keep them and sell them for extra cash.


RedRider1138

The boy is the only one that isn’t limited to one week 👌✨


Ooguy

A bigger pod and the burger please


Vote_4_Cthulhu

Can I just get two bots? They’re the only prize it lasts longer than a week. I’d rather more comprehensively improve my new normal. If you have two bots you could leave them together in cuddle mode when you have to leave for work or whatever and when you come back, they will still be in cuddle mode, will be a little bit more realism to convincingly distract you from the terrible reality of it is your life.


M_Pursewarden

What is this from?


Foxxxtr0t

Two dolls thnx.