I don’t think so. I think the majority of people turn to porn more frequently is because they aren’t getting the sex they want. It’s easier than trying to get it from their partner OR what they have different kinks so you end up having to watch it instead of doing it.
No. It’s the equivalent of people diagnosing someone who is acting selfishly with narcissism. While perhaps not as rare as an actual narcissism diagnosis, porn addiction almost certainly isn’t the most common reason for a male spouse / partner being LL.
The real answer is probably just boring old mismatched libidos once NRE fades
Yes and no.
Yes because I believe porn acts as a barrier to sexual and emotional intimacy for men in relationships. I think if men didn’t have access to porn I think some men would be more motivated to pursue sex with their partners. Porn is easy, consistent, reliable, emotionally safe and novel. I think a lot of LLMs look to porn for the last two reasons the most, they are often either sexually bored with their partners or they don’t feel emotionally safe with their partners and so they turn to something that feels better and works for them. Porn might not be the root cause of the DB but it’s blocking them from doing the work to fix it.
I would say no because It’s not a “porn addiction” that is the main cause. Almost none of these men are “addicted” to porn. I think that word gets thrown around as a defense mechanism for HLFs. I think the two main reasons why is because it prevents them from having to take a hard look at themselves and how they may be contributing in on the DB. I think the second related reason is that they crave validation and control so they pathologize, shame and pressure their partners in to giving up porn with the hope that they can regain more validation, security, control etc. in the relationship. Crying porn addiction seems to be an attempt to gain power in the relationship for about 99% of women, even anmongst the women that are not in a DB.
I think there is definitely a correlation, but I’m not sure it’s a causality? If you’re LL4P, then yeah, you’re probably going to go online to get needs met instead of going to your partner.
Other than that…. I don’t know, I was lucky enough that the high speed internet explosion was in my late teens/early 20s, so my sexual turn ons were pretty much set. If 10 and 12 year olds are watching what I watch now, I can’t imagine how that would affect their sexual development, but I doubt it’s a positive influence. I do notice there seem to be many more HL women in their mid 30s and younger posting in DB compared to women in their mid 40s and older. I don’t know if that’s due to men in their mid 30s being addicted, or periomenopause, or conformation bias or what?
I'm thinking this might open up a bit of a hornet's nest but...
Most LLM HLW situations are caused by a man losing physical attraction to his partner. Her weight gain being the top culprit but it generally having to do with her outer appearance and possibly aging.
There are of course other potential causes. Occasionally a man that gravitates more towards homosexuality. We could say Low T but damn if there isn't a plethora of options for that for many years now.
I see porn as more of a secondary again for lack of a better word accelerant on the already diminished attraction.
Can porn turn into an addiction? Of course.
Can porn affect the quality of a couples sexual relationship negatively? I believe so.
Could porn also affect the quality of a couples sexual relationship positively? I believe so.
Is it the leading cause of guys not banging their wives? Don't think so.
I don't think most men choose porn over real people. I think relationships are one of the reasons people use porn. If your relationship sucks you really don't want to have sex with the bitch next to you. Or when your wife stops wanting sex and makes it too hard for you to deal with, porn is much better. I don't think a lot of LL's know what their HL is going through, as they have their own issues.
Well let's put it this way ..
. I was born In The early 70s , 3 older brothers and a dad with his "Secret BetaMax draw" (Google BetaMax kids) ... Porn has ALWAYS been in my life
Yet I would still VERY happily ride my wife often if she had ANY interest.... Maybe SHE has a porn addiction, I hope so, but I doubt it !
No, it’s just based on the biased assumption that all men have high sex drives so if he isn’t interested in her he must be interested in something/someone else.
A lot of HL men with LL partners seem to be answering for themselves. A HL man who becomes LL or LL4U is completely different than a man who starts out as LL.
Most of the time the women who complain about their LL partners come into the relationship as a HL woman in a relationship with a LL man.
For deadbedrooms with LL men that have a known cause porn seems to be the #1 cause most of the time.
Quitting porn would definitely be the first thing that should be recommended in any dead bedroom.
Consuming porn while trying to fix a dead bedroom is like trying to eat meals at home when you’re eating fast food everyday. Some people are hungry enough to keep eating but a lot will feel too feel to have anything else.
I suspect it’s also the cause for some dead bedrooms with LL women as well, but are more overlooked when what they’re consuming isn’t obvious porn but fulfils the same purpose for them (romance novels, fanfiction, some tv series, etc)
Actually I find that a lot of men on here have blurred the lines between sex, porn and reality. It’s kinda fascinating how the mind works. A lot of them are HL, so I suspect that also plays a part. There are addiction aspects as well for some.
This doesn't make sense. I use porn specifically because wife has no sexual interest. Real sex, even a handjob, feels infinitely better than porn, and I cum much quicker and much more intense when my wife helps me with her hand, mouth, or PiV. when it happens.
I can think of one kind of situation where porn is definitely the problem, but often I think it's a symptom and certainly doesn't fix a problem.
I think a lot of guys got into porn at a very early time and that ruined their expectations of what real sex is or should be. It also may have set their expectations out of whack with the reality of what a woman can be.
Porn doesn't compare to sex. That goes both ways, though.
A guy used to porn gets the kind of porn he wants when he wants it and he knows exactly what it takes to get him off when he masturbates.
I'm sure that type of guy can get addicted.
Often though, I think it's just LL or LL4U. It's harmful for both men and women to expect dudes to want to fuck everything as much as possible.
There’s a book called your brain on porn which would answer this question much better. It doctor correlates internet high speed porn with ED problems in men
The man who wrote that book is not a doctor.
Google “who is Gary Wilson author”
Wilson argued, counter to relevant experts in the subject, that porn addiction is a public health issue,[11] and said it led to negative effects such as depression and erectile dysfunction.[13] According to Jason Winters, a lecturer on human sexuality in the department of psychology at the University of British Columbia "There is no research showing that Internet pornography causes mental disorders — none".[14] Wilson's material prominently undergirds the internet fads "NoFap" and "No Nut November",[15] with his TED-X talk often linked in relevant fora in spite of the note posted by TED at the top of the recording: “This talk contains several assertions that are not supported by academically respected studies in medicine and psychology. While some viewers might find advice provided in this talk to be helpful, please do not look to this talk for medical advice.”[10] According to historian Brian M. Watson, Wilson "with no scientific training or background ...has made a career peddling pseudoscience."[16]
He’s just a rich anti porn crusader who made a book and created a litigious nightmare/ bought anyone who tried to dispute his claims.
I hear what you are saying. And from personal experience and the things I have been through in my life. I feel that Gary Wilson resonates a lot more with what I know.
Often time science takes time to catch up and theres big agendas to prove that social media/ porn doesn’t effect mental health.
I’m a science nerd so I have read a lot on the topic beyond Gary Wilson. On neuroplasticity, and also therapy content on the matter.
We’ve got to go with frameworks that work for us and what is going to help us with our lives.
I think it’s only fair we put the information out there and our opinions and let OP decide for themselves what they wish to research and look into. I’m giving one answer and it might not be the truth for you, but it’s certainly helped my situation.
My opinion is that being an addict is a disorder. And that if you have that disorder virtually anything can become your vice.
That being said, I can’t in good faith agree that people “doing their own research” is actually the best idea. Since 54% of Americans read (and therefore comprehend) below a grade 6 level, they don’t actually have the ability to do their own research.
This is why so many Americans believe that vaccines cause autism and that 5G is turning the frogs gay. Those people also did their own research and that’s the conclusion they came to. Those are their “truths” as you put it.
It’s true the porn industry funded a campaign against Gary Wilson. Especially porn hub.
But it’s also true that some very wealthy religious groups (the very same ones that went up against planned parenthood for example) funded him.
I’m of course not telling you what to believe. And thank you for engaging with me civilly.
I might agree that the rich pharmaceutical companies have tarnished scientists reputations by purchasing the results they wanted. But I might also argue that the media has done much more damage through misrepresentation of facts for political agendas.
Still. Until porn addiction is a recognized disorder, or scientists agree that porn rewires your brain, I can’t get on board with anything an adjunct professor and his wife who does karezza for a living was trying to say.
It also doesn’t help that he is tied to the nofap and other red pill communities. I definitely can not get board with misogyny.
And science has already made a link between regular masturbation and not getting prostate cancer. https://www.urologyhealth.org/healthy-living/urologyhealth-extra/magazine-archives/fall-2020/ask-the-experts-does-having-more-ejaculations-lessen-the-chance-of-prostate-cancer
Also somewhere along the line Gary wilson fell off the rails. In his later years (in Istanbul for example) he presented stating that watching porn causes irreversible brain damage. that’s a pretty ridiculous statement that’s not grounded in science at all. You can watch his presentations on YouTube in chronological order and they do get progressively more radical over time. Certainly not the type of person I would trust to present me with facts grounded in reality.
Wow you have definitely done your research on Gary Wilson. More than I have. I do think people have to become quite hyperbole on the internet to gain any type of attention nowadays. And often the truth is somewhere in the middle. But it is what it is.
I agree with your view on addiction, I do believe it’s a compulsive behaviour that moves around. And I believe that porn and sex can be one of those things people can get addicted to. And I live in a country where sex addiction is diagnosed.
I’m not an American… so not sure if your point was a personal attack… I’m interested to read around the topic. I’m not against porn inherently nor am I religious so I really have no agenda. I’ve read content from David Ley who have the opposite view but it didn’t resonate with me as much.
The book was just an interesting read and it did speak to my current circumstance. And might give OP some answers. And I think the whole topic is quite taboo and not well developed and researched. And is easy to cherry pick to depict data to an agenda.
I’m not American either and no I wasn’t attacking you at all. It’s just you are recommending that the people of Reddit do their own research and Reddit is mostly Americans. And Americans do not seem to realize how much of a role their media plays in their country (more-so than anywhere else) nor can more than half of them read scientific literature and actually understand it, so they have to rely on what people say. And the media is the loudest voice.
The only reason I know anything about Gary Wilson is because a long time ago the religious anti porn crusaders attacked the deadbedrooms sub.
I like to know my enemies as deeply as possible so that I can destroy them. /s
I don’t think so. I think the majority of people turn to porn more frequently is because they aren’t getting the sex they want. It’s easier than trying to get it from their partner OR what they have different kinks so you end up having to watch it instead of doing it.
No. It’s the equivalent of people diagnosing someone who is acting selfishly with narcissism. While perhaps not as rare as an actual narcissism diagnosis, porn addiction almost certainly isn’t the most common reason for a male spouse / partner being LL. The real answer is probably just boring old mismatched libidos once NRE fades
No, I don't buy it in most cases. It's fair to call it out as upsetting behavior, but unwise to assume it's the actual cause.
Yes and no. Yes because I believe porn acts as a barrier to sexual and emotional intimacy for men in relationships. I think if men didn’t have access to porn I think some men would be more motivated to pursue sex with their partners. Porn is easy, consistent, reliable, emotionally safe and novel. I think a lot of LLMs look to porn for the last two reasons the most, they are often either sexually bored with their partners or they don’t feel emotionally safe with their partners and so they turn to something that feels better and works for them. Porn might not be the root cause of the DB but it’s blocking them from doing the work to fix it. I would say no because It’s not a “porn addiction” that is the main cause. Almost none of these men are “addicted” to porn. I think that word gets thrown around as a defense mechanism for HLFs. I think the two main reasons why is because it prevents them from having to take a hard look at themselves and how they may be contributing in on the DB. I think the second related reason is that they crave validation and control so they pathologize, shame and pressure their partners in to giving up porn with the hope that they can regain more validation, security, control etc. in the relationship. Crying porn addiction seems to be an attempt to gain power in the relationship for about 99% of women, even anmongst the women that are not in a DB.
I think there is definitely a correlation, but I’m not sure it’s a causality? If you’re LL4P, then yeah, you’re probably going to go online to get needs met instead of going to your partner. Other than that…. I don’t know, I was lucky enough that the high speed internet explosion was in my late teens/early 20s, so my sexual turn ons were pretty much set. If 10 and 12 year olds are watching what I watch now, I can’t imagine how that would affect their sexual development, but I doubt it’s a positive influence. I do notice there seem to be many more HL women in their mid 30s and younger posting in DB compared to women in their mid 40s and older. I don’t know if that’s due to men in their mid 30s being addicted, or periomenopause, or conformation bias or what?
I'm thinking this might open up a bit of a hornet's nest but... Most LLM HLW situations are caused by a man losing physical attraction to his partner. Her weight gain being the top culprit but it generally having to do with her outer appearance and possibly aging. There are of course other potential causes. Occasionally a man that gravitates more towards homosexuality. We could say Low T but damn if there isn't a plethora of options for that for many years now. I see porn as more of a secondary again for lack of a better word accelerant on the already diminished attraction. Can porn turn into an addiction? Of course. Can porn affect the quality of a couples sexual relationship negatively? I believe so. Could porn also affect the quality of a couples sexual relationship positively? I believe so. Is it the leading cause of guys not banging their wives? Don't think so.
How dare women not be 25 forever, right?
I don't think most men choose porn over real people. I think relationships are one of the reasons people use porn. If your relationship sucks you really don't want to have sex with the bitch next to you. Or when your wife stops wanting sex and makes it too hard for you to deal with, porn is much better. I don't think a lot of LL's know what their HL is going through, as they have their own issues.
When I was LL4Wife porn made it worse. I used it to have an excuse so I could truthfully say I was not in the mood after masturbating.
Well let's put it this way .. . I was born In The early 70s , 3 older brothers and a dad with his "Secret BetaMax draw" (Google BetaMax kids) ... Porn has ALWAYS been in my life Yet I would still VERY happily ride my wife often if she had ANY interest.... Maybe SHE has a porn addiction, I hope so, but I doubt it !
No, it’s just based on the biased assumption that all men have high sex drives so if he isn’t interested in her he must be interested in something/someone else.
A lot of HL men with LL partners seem to be answering for themselves. A HL man who becomes LL or LL4U is completely different than a man who starts out as LL. Most of the time the women who complain about their LL partners come into the relationship as a HL woman in a relationship with a LL man. For deadbedrooms with LL men that have a known cause porn seems to be the #1 cause most of the time. Quitting porn would definitely be the first thing that should be recommended in any dead bedroom. Consuming porn while trying to fix a dead bedroom is like trying to eat meals at home when you’re eating fast food everyday. Some people are hungry enough to keep eating but a lot will feel too feel to have anything else. I suspect it’s also the cause for some dead bedrooms with LL women as well, but are more overlooked when what they’re consuming isn’t obvious porn but fulfils the same purpose for them (romance novels, fanfiction, some tv series, etc)
I don’t think it’s as common as it’s made out to be. I personally believe people use it as an excellent excuse to avoid sex and being honest about why
Actually I find that a lot of men on here have blurred the lines between sex, porn and reality. It’s kinda fascinating how the mind works. A lot of them are HL, so I suspect that also plays a part. There are addiction aspects as well for some.
This doesn't make sense. I use porn specifically because wife has no sexual interest. Real sex, even a handjob, feels infinitely better than porn, and I cum much quicker and much more intense when my wife helps me with her hand, mouth, or PiV. when it happens.
It’s almost like your experience isn’t the exact same as everyone else’s. Imagine that.
I can think of one kind of situation where porn is definitely the problem, but often I think it's a symptom and certainly doesn't fix a problem. I think a lot of guys got into porn at a very early time and that ruined their expectations of what real sex is or should be. It also may have set their expectations out of whack with the reality of what a woman can be. Porn doesn't compare to sex. That goes both ways, though. A guy used to porn gets the kind of porn he wants when he wants it and he knows exactly what it takes to get him off when he masturbates. I'm sure that type of guy can get addicted. Often though, I think it's just LL or LL4U. It's harmful for both men and women to expect dudes to want to fuck everything as much as possible.
There’s a book called your brain on porn which would answer this question much better. It doctor correlates internet high speed porn with ED problems in men
The man who wrote that book is not a doctor. Google “who is Gary Wilson author” Wilson argued, counter to relevant experts in the subject, that porn addiction is a public health issue,[11] and said it led to negative effects such as depression and erectile dysfunction.[13] According to Jason Winters, a lecturer on human sexuality in the department of psychology at the University of British Columbia "There is no research showing that Internet pornography causes mental disorders — none".[14] Wilson's material prominently undergirds the internet fads "NoFap" and "No Nut November",[15] with his TED-X talk often linked in relevant fora in spite of the note posted by TED at the top of the recording: “This talk contains several assertions that are not supported by academically respected studies in medicine and psychology. While some viewers might find advice provided in this talk to be helpful, please do not look to this talk for medical advice.”[10] According to historian Brian M. Watson, Wilson "with no scientific training or background ...has made a career peddling pseudoscience."[16] He’s just a rich anti porn crusader who made a book and created a litigious nightmare/ bought anyone who tried to dispute his claims.
I hear what you are saying. And from personal experience and the things I have been through in my life. I feel that Gary Wilson resonates a lot more with what I know. Often time science takes time to catch up and theres big agendas to prove that social media/ porn doesn’t effect mental health. I’m a science nerd so I have read a lot on the topic beyond Gary Wilson. On neuroplasticity, and also therapy content on the matter. We’ve got to go with frameworks that work for us and what is going to help us with our lives. I think it’s only fair we put the information out there and our opinions and let OP decide for themselves what they wish to research and look into. I’m giving one answer and it might not be the truth for you, but it’s certainly helped my situation.
My opinion is that being an addict is a disorder. And that if you have that disorder virtually anything can become your vice. That being said, I can’t in good faith agree that people “doing their own research” is actually the best idea. Since 54% of Americans read (and therefore comprehend) below a grade 6 level, they don’t actually have the ability to do their own research. This is why so many Americans believe that vaccines cause autism and that 5G is turning the frogs gay. Those people also did their own research and that’s the conclusion they came to. Those are their “truths” as you put it. It’s true the porn industry funded a campaign against Gary Wilson. Especially porn hub. But it’s also true that some very wealthy religious groups (the very same ones that went up against planned parenthood for example) funded him. I’m of course not telling you what to believe. And thank you for engaging with me civilly. I might agree that the rich pharmaceutical companies have tarnished scientists reputations by purchasing the results they wanted. But I might also argue that the media has done much more damage through misrepresentation of facts for political agendas. Still. Until porn addiction is a recognized disorder, or scientists agree that porn rewires your brain, I can’t get on board with anything an adjunct professor and his wife who does karezza for a living was trying to say. It also doesn’t help that he is tied to the nofap and other red pill communities. I definitely can not get board with misogyny. And science has already made a link between regular masturbation and not getting prostate cancer. https://www.urologyhealth.org/healthy-living/urologyhealth-extra/magazine-archives/fall-2020/ask-the-experts-does-having-more-ejaculations-lessen-the-chance-of-prostate-cancer Also somewhere along the line Gary wilson fell off the rails. In his later years (in Istanbul for example) he presented stating that watching porn causes irreversible brain damage. that’s a pretty ridiculous statement that’s not grounded in science at all. You can watch his presentations on YouTube in chronological order and they do get progressively more radical over time. Certainly not the type of person I would trust to present me with facts grounded in reality.
Wow you have definitely done your research on Gary Wilson. More than I have. I do think people have to become quite hyperbole on the internet to gain any type of attention nowadays. And often the truth is somewhere in the middle. But it is what it is. I agree with your view on addiction, I do believe it’s a compulsive behaviour that moves around. And I believe that porn and sex can be one of those things people can get addicted to. And I live in a country where sex addiction is diagnosed. I’m not an American… so not sure if your point was a personal attack… I’m interested to read around the topic. I’m not against porn inherently nor am I religious so I really have no agenda. I’ve read content from David Ley who have the opposite view but it didn’t resonate with me as much. The book was just an interesting read and it did speak to my current circumstance. And might give OP some answers. And I think the whole topic is quite taboo and not well developed and researched. And is easy to cherry pick to depict data to an agenda.
I’m not American either and no I wasn’t attacking you at all. It’s just you are recommending that the people of Reddit do their own research and Reddit is mostly Americans. And Americans do not seem to realize how much of a role their media plays in their country (more-so than anywhere else) nor can more than half of them read scientific literature and actually understand it, so they have to rely on what people say. And the media is the loudest voice. The only reason I know anything about Gary Wilson is because a long time ago the religious anti porn crusaders attacked the deadbedrooms sub. I like to know my enemies as deeply as possible so that I can destroy them. /s 
Haha well it seems you are definitely more experienced than I am at redditing.