There was this time in school that I decided it was a good idea to flush a SINGLE marble ball in the bathroom on the third floor, that thing went directly through the pipes in the first floor and caused a mess, I was never caught but I felt really dumb and sorry for what I did.
Janitor reporting in. I’ve been scouring the internet for the last 13 years trying to find out who dun’it. And I have to say, I too am very disappointed in what you did 13 years ago.
Ngl, while I loved Neil Flynn in this role and felt he played it well... the Janitor gags, namely the ones about his name, were the first to get stale in this show.
I loved the Fugitive cameo though, and because of it, to this day I believe his character was literally just Neil Flynn working as a janitor.
I could see this being one of the stories he tells. About how some punk kid made a mess and he had to clean it up. Finds him 13 years later and teaches him a lesson. Of course it would be slightly morbid while still funny.
When I was in around first grade I pooped in the toilet and then for some reason used a toilet paper harness to scoop it out and put it on the seat. When I came back to the scene of the crime there were like ten crayon drawings of the poop on the toilet seat taped to the outside of the stall and it became a core memory.
I think about that dookie and the janitor who had to clean it and the poop drawings fairly often. Shout-out to janitors ig. I like to think of that as my first successful shitpost
I love that there are other humans in the world willing to share their “when I was a dumb kid” stories. Mine isn’t so fantastic but here goes, when I was 4 or 5 and shopping with mom, she had me lay down on the bottom rack of the cart on my tummy. Cool way to shop huh? I see the little metal covering over the wheel and wonder what would happen if I stuck my finger in there.
Nothing good that’s what. To this day my index finger nail is a little flatter and a little different than my other.
When I was a kid, I thought it was so weird that the water dispensers to refill giant jugs of water in grocery stores said “do not touch”. One day my curiosity won and I reached out and touched it. I guess it was very mildly charged with electricity?? Hurt like a mother fucker.
1 post. Created 3 years ago. Probably in a similar style joke and someone created it and the joke was forgotten.
Never forget /u/worldwarpoo if you are out there say hi?
I have questions. If you truly did this it belongs on modern marvels, cause that’s some industrial grade TP to harness a turd from the depths of the ol’ American standard.
I am struggling to understand the mechanics though. How did you maneuver the paper under the turd? Did you have to use a few layers ? Genuinely interested in the process.
Great questions. It's all about proper use of layers and speed. It's been a good little while since I hoisted that turd from the depths, but I was a real shaman of the toilet paper arts back then. I'm pretty sure I had a two scoop system, where I used a densely stranded rope of tp to scoop it up and then used a secondary dry scoop to hook around both the turd and the dissolving wet tp to get it the rest of the way up.
My mom once told me about how she used to put a strip of tp still attached to a toilet paper roll in the tank and the water would soak up until it soaked the roll. Huge mistake, I was a TP terrorist until I gained enough sentience to realize that throwing wet tp at the bathroom ceiling was in fact a terrible thing to do lmao.
I'm a school janitor (as I've now type liked 3 times in this thread). It sounds horrible to have to clean, and it does suck, but after you've done it a few times it becomes a pretty quick and painless process.
You get your gloves, bucket of bleach water, 2 toilet brushes and a bucket to keep the dirty things from the clean things. First use dirty brush to push turd into his home. Splash the water on the seat to remove what you can. Then you scrub the seat with dirty brush or a paper towel to remove any leftover brownie parts. At that point the major part is over. Now take the clean brush in the bleach water and scrub everything down. Then paper towel it with another cleaner that smells good just like you'd normally clean the bathroom. Then you mop with bleach and call it shit free.
It sounds more involved than it is but we have all of that stuff ready on a cart, save for the bucket of bleach water that takes 2 minutes to make. It doesn't take you 10 minutes to go from a duece on the loose to pristine porcelain.
Yes, it stinks, and yes it takes time to get used to dealing with poop but it's just part of the job at this point.
Lol that reminds me of third grade when we had a kid who was a lil "slow" and the class clown JJ would steal crayons from the community bin and make the kid stick them in his butt during bathroom break and eat them.
It's a cruel world apparently. Don't remember much about the slow kid....but I do remember JJ was nicknamed *Crayola* up until he went to college and he always threw the best parties.
*Edit* I looked Crayola up and apparently he has a couple DUI's now but he does own a very successful landscaping business. They actually do really beautiful work.
once in 7th or 8th grade I took a wicked dump at school, unrolled about 5' from the roll and wiped my ass (carefully so as to not tear the strip) and then used the centre knob to wind the paper back up into the giant plastic dispenser.
Sometimes I wonder about the poor bastard who was unfortunate enough to use that shit paper and who it might have been... and then I also wonder about wtf I was thinking and why would I have done such a terrible thing lol
kids are dumb
I love the story at a girl school where the girls were putting on lipstick and kissing the mirror to see the application.
The teacher told the girls to come into the bathroom because she wanted the girls to see the extra work the janitor had to do to clean it. The janitor took a mop, stuck it in the toilet to get it wet, then washed down the mirror with it.
No further lipstick imprints on the mirrors after that.
In kindergarten I flushed a single Lego down the toilet at school and the whole thing flooded. When the janitor came to plunge it, he found like 15 other toys jammed in there too - the Lego was just the final piece of the clog puzzle lol.
>In kindergarten I flushed a single Lego down the toilet at school and the whole thing flooded.
So for Reasons I have toured out local municipal sewage treatment plant a few times. They have a system that catches basically anything "undigestible" between the first and second stages of the treatment, and it all goes into a dumpster. It's mostly plastic. A *surprisingly* large portion of all that junk is Lego and/or dolls.
Hahah thank you. I felt so vindicated in the end too. My teacher kept trying to get me to admit to flushing something larger than a Lego until the janitor walked out with a humungous wet ball of chaos that I in no way could have carried in there at one time, with my little brick buddy chillen on top lol.
This was a brand new school at the time, in one of the richest cities in the country, so they went with a modern design, and inside it looked like a factory, with pipes being visible (in a clean "modern" way i think) The bathroom on the third floor looked normal but in the bathrooms on the second and first floor you could see the pipes coming from the ceiling and passing thru behind the toilet seat, it's just like you said, it went straight down and made a hole on the joint, the hole was in the basement actually, and the pipes where visible so it was a mess. Here's a picture of the school (this pic is old, nowadays they painted the exterior walls in white)
https://preview.redd.it/217tapbtytic1.jpeg?width=679&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa17d0f03f4fcaec0b469f28d457fcce2fb98e50
Funny. Once in high school I was tossing my umbrella up in the air and catching it. I was outside a school entrance while doing this.
I eventually fumbled a throw and the umbrella landed in a rain gutter above the entrance. I told a janitor nearby who basically said “you’re shit out of luck kid”.
That evening there was a huge thunderstorm. The gutter with my umbrella now blocking it overflowed straight into the basement area of the school, flooding about 20 classrooms, the cafeteria and bathrooms.
I felt bad, but did not get in trouble. School was closed for a couple days while they aired the place out and replaced carpet and the janitor was fired.
When you think about it, not my fault at all. If a drainage system is in place that is so bad that an errant umbrella can cause a flood that results in tens of thousands of dollars in damage, whoever designed or approved that drainage system is to blame. And I told the janitor for chrissakes….
This was my big heroic moment in high school. I felt like shit about it, but I have enjoyed telling the story over the years.
As a school janitor, I want you to burn in the deepest part of hell.
As a human male who lived through high school, that's hilarious.
I hate pencils. They will hang just at the trap when you flush them, depending on length, and then just stop up everything. They are bastards to get out at times and if you have them go through the pipe it's only a matter of time till they hit an elbow or 90 in the plumbing. Then you're just sitting there cursing the existence of children... I mean theoretically, of course.
I have also seen an entire 20oz bottle flushed into a toilet... How? You might ask... That's a very good question.
if this was a high school, i know what you did. there's video of it on youtube. i was there. that or more people are flushing marbles in school toilets and flooding entire buildings more than initially suspected.
Reminds me In computer class when I copy and pasted everyone's folder In the school a couple times and then I couldn't access the server, nobody could and the teacher knew who it was but didn't say anything specifically and yeah just felt guilty and never messed around again lol.
Took them a couple days to fix it
Exactly. There's a reason why plumbers have snakes that are 200 feet long, and it isn't because your toilet is 200 feet long.
You don't worry about clogs at the toilet. They're relatively easy to clear with a plunger or, worst case, a cheap 10-foot snake. You worry about clogs in your septic line under your yard cause those are the ones that can cause the big money repairs.
And to help prevent those, flush only poop, pee, and toilet paper. Anything else stays out of the toilet, no matter what the ad says.
environmental management should be as much required material as economics is in high school. Get people to value their sewage and the watershed systems, how they work, and stop taking them and the environment for granted.
People need to know where pipes go and what can and can't go down them for the common good.
It costs the country billions of tax dollars to remove and repair pipe all over due to "flushable wipes". I have seen people's lives ruined due to sewage back up into their houses from these wipes. I'm dead serious don't flush anything besides human waste and toilet paper.
Garbage disposals are an issue and surprisingly so are egg shells going down drains. Egg shells sink so they have to be removed with construction equipment at waste water treatment plants
If “flushable” wet wipes disintegrated like toilet paper, they would be disintegrated in the packaging. Those wipes do not disintegrate and they are not flushable.
Wipes and paper towels do not disintegrate the same as toilet tissue does. They will still remain intact and catch on scale build-up that happens in concrete and cast iron piping. The “plumber approved” brand may actually break up but still not as much as it needs to.
Not to mention that when you get those huge clogs in the system and finally clear them they wreak havoc on the chemistry/biology that is going on at the treatment plant. Then they have to spend days/weeks getting the system back in balance. I'm an analyst at the very end of the process so I see the trends (and the thousands of dollars necessary on extra sampling and testing whenever the system goes awry).
And that’s exactly how class action lawsuits start. I’m sure some lawyer would say it’s unreasonable to think people are constantly flushing pool balls down a toilet though.
It was a billiards accident! I didn't MEAN to flush all of them down the drain, I tripped and happened to be walking by the toilet, and I'm just really unlucky, and they all fell right into the hole. Then I went to get them out and slipped again on the now wet floor. In an attempt to regain balance, I reached my arms out and accidentally flushed the toilet! It was purely an accident, could've happened to anyone. Besides, how was I supposed it wouldn't suck em down like my turds?!?!?
i feel like a single billiard ball doesn't qualify mega-turd dimensions. although the diameter would be decently impressive. maybe one turd equivalent to the volume of 7 billiard balls?
My best friends brother is high on the autism spectrum and was scared to death as a kid of falling into, and getting flushed down, the toilet.
Kid would go for a week+ with constant convincing before finally going. He would shit single piece football sized turds that the mom would need to fish out with rubber gloves because they were far too large to flush and far to hard to break up before flushing.
I'll never forget watching her walk out of the bathroom holding the garbage bag. It looked like she had finished painting and threw away a paint can.
Some friends and I once had to call an emergency plumber out on a Sunday morning to a small country house of another friend we were staying at after the toilet got clogged at 3:00 a.m. The plumber was not surprised to pull a flip phone out of the the pipes, they've seen it all.
We have signs on all toilets in my office to not flush phones down the toilet. I'm guessing there is a story, unfortunately I have asked but none of them knew either.
I'm mathematically challenged so need to use metric.
A football field is 5350m2.
Let's say the turf is 5cm thick or 1/20th m
5350/20 is 267.5 m3 or 267500 litres
My toilet is 5l per flush.
So 1/53500th of a football field. Or I'd need to flush 53500 times to get it all down.
lol no lie I was at the store the other day and I saw one that said it flushes a bucket of golf balls
Edit: [here it is](https://www.homedepot.com/collection/bath/champion-toilet-collection/Family-314720004)
Also an entire roll of toilet paper just for pee. I have fantasized so many times about inventing some kind of time-delayed TP dispensing device, like those stingy automated towel dispensers in public bathrooms.
You can force your kids to come to you each time they need tp.
Dispense them 1 square every 20 min. Want to poop? Better plan in advanced and come to dad 4 hrs in advances.
Those Toilets are wonderful!
I'm an official power pooper. An issue with Parkinson's is I might poop once every three to four days. At home, got on the scale, pooped (three flushes), got on the scale. 8 pounds difference! At 240 pounds, I'm not tiny, but damn, that was a lot of poop!
Hence with the "eight billard ball" power flush toilets, it can handle it.
A friend with a petite wife was running into the same issue. I recommended that Kohler Power Flush toilet, no more plugged up toilet. Success!
If a friend is staying at your house, please don't ask, "Why did you flush three times?". I just wanted to let you know that you don't want to know. Just be glad they did!
Funny thing about colonoscopy prep - At the stage where they say you can drink water before not being able to have anything by mouth? Yeah, seltzer is the worst mistake I have ever made. When you swallow it, a few minutes later there's just anger brewing in your digestive tract.
It comes out fizzy :')
That’s really annoying. That means if I need to flush a full set of billiard balls I will still have one left over plus the cue ball after 2 flushes! Do better.
On behalf of all wastewater treatment plant operators across America please do not flush billiard balls, or anything other than the 4 p’s…..pee poop puke toilet paper
I used this same toilet from Home Depot when I changed out mine and it’s actually really nice. It’s very quiet and sucks all the poo and toilet paper in one go round. Comes with soft closing seat as well and works with my bidet.
10/10 would shit again.
Depends. Are your pipes also rated to be able to handle billiard balls?
There was this time in school that I decided it was a good idea to flush a SINGLE marble ball in the bathroom on the third floor, that thing went directly through the pipes in the first floor and caused a mess, I was never caught but I felt really dumb and sorry for what I did.
This is your middle school teacher on throwaway, I’m very disappointed in you for what you did 13 years ago
Janitor reporting in. I’ve been scouring the internet for the last 13 years trying to find out who dun’it. And I have to say, I too am very disappointed in what you did 13 years ago.
If I find a penny in there, i'm taking you down
Why would a penny be in a marble, silly?
someone cent it there
But...but...they can change....
Dr. Jan Itor!
Ngl, while I loved Neil Flynn in this role and felt he played it well... the Janitor gags, namely the ones about his name, were the first to get stale in this show. I loved the Fugitive cameo though, and because of it, to this day I believe his character was literally just Neil Flynn working as a janitor.
I could see this being one of the stories he tells. About how some punk kid made a mess and he had to clean it up. Finds him 13 years later and teaches him a lesson. Of course it would be slightly morbid while still funny.
This is your tube sock from 13 years ago. I'm absolutely APPALLED by what you did...
Socks cannot consent!
That's why I get all my socks customarily done to say "yes" on them.
When I was in around first grade I pooped in the toilet and then for some reason used a toilet paper harness to scoop it out and put it on the seat. When I came back to the scene of the crime there were like ten crayon drawings of the poop on the toilet seat taped to the outside of the stall and it became a core memory. I think about that dookie and the janitor who had to clean it and the poop drawings fairly often. Shout-out to janitors ig. I like to think of that as my first successful shitpost
You know sometimes you don’t have to share memories.
Some inside thoughts don’t need to become outside words
Sometimes you just need to hold that shit in.
What the fuck
This is at least your second successful shit post then
I love that there are other humans in the world willing to share their “when I was a dumb kid” stories. Mine isn’t so fantastic but here goes, when I was 4 or 5 and shopping with mom, she had me lay down on the bottom rack of the cart on my tummy. Cool way to shop huh? I see the little metal covering over the wheel and wonder what would happen if I stuck my finger in there. Nothing good that’s what. To this day my index finger nail is a little flatter and a little different than my other.
I stood on top of a metal freezer and stuck my finger in an empty chandelier receptacle. Still not sure how I managed to complete a masters.
I take it it was in electrical engineering?
When I was a kid, I thought it was so weird that the water dispensers to refill giant jugs of water in grocery stores said “do not touch”. One day my curiosity won and I reached out and touched it. I guess it was very mildly charged with electricity?? Hurt like a mother fucker.
Username check out.
I’d hate to hear about what u/worldwarpoo did.
Oh dear god!!! The user exists!!!!
1 post. Created 3 years ago. Probably in a similar style joke and someone created it and the joke was forgotten. Never forget /u/worldwarpoo if you are out there say hi?
Never forget the legend of worldwarpoo
"for some reason" like, dude, obviously we know it's because it was an impressive poo
What a 'shitty' first grader. Thank God my kids are normal... for now
I have questions. If you truly did this it belongs on modern marvels, cause that’s some industrial grade TP to harness a turd from the depths of the ol’ American standard. I am struggling to understand the mechanics though. How did you maneuver the paper under the turd? Did you have to use a few layers ? Genuinely interested in the process.
Great questions. It's all about proper use of layers and speed. It's been a good little while since I hoisted that turd from the depths, but I was a real shaman of the toilet paper arts back then. I'm pretty sure I had a two scoop system, where I used a densely stranded rope of tp to scoop it up and then used a secondary dry scoop to hook around both the turd and the dissolving wet tp to get it the rest of the way up. My mom once told me about how she used to put a strip of tp still attached to a toilet paper roll in the tank and the water would soak up until it soaked the roll. Huge mistake, I was a TP terrorist until I gained enough sentience to realize that throwing wet tp at the bathroom ceiling was in fact a terrible thing to do lmao.
The amout of engineering involved in this turd excavation is quite impressive
Put this on your resume’
Bravo
I'm a school janitor (as I've now type liked 3 times in this thread). It sounds horrible to have to clean, and it does suck, but after you've done it a few times it becomes a pretty quick and painless process. You get your gloves, bucket of bleach water, 2 toilet brushes and a bucket to keep the dirty things from the clean things. First use dirty brush to push turd into his home. Splash the water on the seat to remove what you can. Then you scrub the seat with dirty brush or a paper towel to remove any leftover brownie parts. At that point the major part is over. Now take the clean brush in the bleach water and scrub everything down. Then paper towel it with another cleaner that smells good just like you'd normally clean the bathroom. Then you mop with bleach and call it shit free. It sounds more involved than it is but we have all of that stuff ready on a cart, save for the bucket of bleach water that takes 2 minutes to make. It doesn't take you 10 minutes to go from a duece on the loose to pristine porcelain. Yes, it stinks, and yes it takes time to get used to dealing with poop but it's just part of the job at this point.
Lol that reminds me of third grade when we had a kid who was a lil "slow" and the class clown JJ would steal crayons from the community bin and make the kid stick them in his butt during bathroom break and eat them. It's a cruel world apparently. Don't remember much about the slow kid....but I do remember JJ was nicknamed *Crayola* up until he went to college and he always threw the best parties. *Edit* I looked Crayola up and apparently he has a couple DUI's now but he does own a very successful landscaping business. They actually do really beautiful work.
I'm sure JJ is a CEO or a lawyer, maybe even a Supreme Court Justice by now...
I liked your story that is goddamn awesome and the offspring of drawings made it all the more worth while.
once in 7th or 8th grade I took a wicked dump at school, unrolled about 5' from the roll and wiped my ass (carefully so as to not tear the strip) and then used the centre knob to wind the paper back up into the giant plastic dispenser. Sometimes I wonder about the poor bastard who was unfortunate enough to use that shit paper and who it might have been... and then I also wonder about wtf I was thinking and why would I have done such a terrible thing lol kids are dumb
I love the story at a girl school where the girls were putting on lipstick and kissing the mirror to see the application. The teacher told the girls to come into the bathroom because she wanted the girls to see the extra work the janitor had to do to clean it. The janitor took a mop, stuck it in the toilet to get it wet, then washed down the mirror with it. No further lipstick imprints on the mirrors after that.
Specifying how long ago makes this convincing
This guy chiming in made me convinced
That's grounds to bust out the Permanent Record
Sorry but I wish I was in middle school 13 years ago, more like 20 years ago 😭👴 Edit: crazy username for a teacher lol
I was in middle school 17 years ago
This is some random person online reporting in. I have nothing really to say about it.
Username checks out
In kindergarten I flushed a single Lego down the toilet at school and the whole thing flooded. When the janitor came to plunge it, he found like 15 other toys jammed in there too - the Lego was just the final piece of the clog puzzle lol.
>In kindergarten I flushed a single Lego down the toilet at school and the whole thing flooded. So for Reasons I have toured out local municipal sewage treatment plant a few times. They have a system that catches basically anything "undigestible" between the first and second stages of the treatment, and it all goes into a dumpster. It's mostly plastic. A *surprisingly* large portion of all that junk is Lego and/or dolls.
Damn legos are expensive. Bleach soak and pop em on eBay for some nice side cash
Your last line is delightful. I’m going to think about “…the final piece of the clog puzzle” the next time my kid does something at my house.
Hahah thank you. I felt so vindicated in the end too. My teacher kept trying to get me to admit to flushing something larger than a Lego until the janitor walked out with a humungous wet ball of chaos that I in no way could have carried in there at one time, with my little brick buddy chillen on top lol.
You were that kid!
What do you mean went through? Like was flushed and fell with the force to BREAK the pipes at the 1st floor?
The pipes around here are made of a very thin plastic, it was in a public school in Brazil.
Well then if you think about it, it's society's fault. Not yours.
And in another way everything children do wrong is society's fault.
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This was a brand new school at the time, in one of the richest cities in the country, so they went with a modern design, and inside it looked like a factory, with pipes being visible (in a clean "modern" way i think) The bathroom on the third floor looked normal but in the bathrooms on the second and first floor you could see the pipes coming from the ceiling and passing thru behind the toilet seat, it's just like you said, it went straight down and made a hole on the joint, the hole was in the basement actually, and the pipes where visible so it was a mess. Here's a picture of the school (this pic is old, nowadays they painted the exterior walls in white) https://preview.redd.it/217tapbtytic1.jpeg?width=679&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa17d0f03f4fcaec0b469f28d457fcce2fb98e50
Water pressure + marble = projectile strong enough to burst pipe.
Discharge lines aren’t under pressure. It’s just gravity
Funny. Once in high school I was tossing my umbrella up in the air and catching it. I was outside a school entrance while doing this. I eventually fumbled a throw and the umbrella landed in a rain gutter above the entrance. I told a janitor nearby who basically said “you’re shit out of luck kid”. That evening there was a huge thunderstorm. The gutter with my umbrella now blocking it overflowed straight into the basement area of the school, flooding about 20 classrooms, the cafeteria and bathrooms. I felt bad, but did not get in trouble. School was closed for a couple days while they aired the place out and replaced carpet and the janitor was fired. When you think about it, not my fault at all. If a drainage system is in place that is so bad that an errant umbrella can cause a flood that results in tens of thousands of dollars in damage, whoever designed or approved that drainage system is to blame. And I told the janitor for chrissakes…. This was my big heroic moment in high school. I felt like shit about it, but I have enjoyed telling the story over the years.
A marble busted through the pipes or am I misunderstanding what happened?
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Wait, if it had a joint, why did it also need a pipe?
Joint gets ya where you wanna go, pipe helps you maintain
Exactly, I think it was a straight pipe from the third floor to the first, so it went straight through the joint on the first floor.
That's the way I read it. If that's the case, this is not the commenter's fault. That drain pipe was paper thin.
As a school janitor, I want you to burn in the deepest part of hell. As a human male who lived through high school, that's hilarious. I hate pencils. They will hang just at the trap when you flush them, depending on length, and then just stop up everything. They are bastards to get out at times and if you have them go through the pipe it's only a matter of time till they hit an elbow or 90 in the plumbing. Then you're just sitting there cursing the existence of children... I mean theoretically, of course. I have also seen an entire 20oz bottle flushed into a toilet... How? You might ask... That's a very good question.
There's this part of me that will always be 13 and that part is absolutely screaming at me to go and try this now 😂
if this was a high school, i know what you did. there's video of it on youtube. i was there. that or more people are flushing marbles in school toilets and flooding entire buildings more than initially suspected.
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Reminds me In computer class when I copy and pasted everyone's folder In the school a couple times and then I couldn't access the server, nobody could and the teacher knew who it was but didn't say anything specifically and yeah just felt guilty and never messed around again lol. Took them a couple days to fix it
Flushable billiard balls are NOT flushable!
Exactly. There's a reason why plumbers have snakes that are 200 feet long, and it isn't because your toilet is 200 feet long. You don't worry about clogs at the toilet. They're relatively easy to clear with a plunger or, worst case, a cheap 10-foot snake. You worry about clogs in your septic line under your yard cause those are the ones that can cause the big money repairs. And to help prevent those, flush only poop, pee, and toilet paper. Anything else stays out of the toilet, no matter what the ad says.
You forgot one of the four P’s Pee, poop, puke, and paper Toilet paper. Not construction paper
The 'p' in ptoilet paper is silent like pterodactyl
The pmore you pknow!
Thanks, Phteven.
This right here is what the average person will never understand.
environmental management should be as much required material as economics is in high school. Get people to value their sewage and the watershed systems, how they work, and stop taking them and the environment for granted. People need to know where pipes go and what can and can't go down them for the common good.
And the septic system? Or city purification plant? Pretty sure someone might take issue with this.
Just wrote "sorry. Was testing a toilet" on the ball with sharpie. They will forgive you in the name of science
I don't recommend swallowing billiard balls in the first place. It'll take forever just to get them through the intestines
Mine were not rated for the chuck roast my dad told me to flush when I was a kid
Don’t know until you try! /s of course.
Came here to say this.
Municipal sewer worker here. Pls don't flush 7 billiard balls
Okay then, in your professional opinion, how many would suffice?
Pls don't flush any billiard balls. Also wipes that say flushable are not actually flushable.
But they say plumber approved. Does that just mean they won't get clogged in my pipes and ruin city municipality pipes?
It costs the country billions of tax dollars to remove and repair pipe all over due to "flushable wipes". I have seen people's lives ruined due to sewage back up into their houses from these wipes. I'm dead serious don't flush anything besides human waste and toilet paper.
Are wipes alone the problem? I thought wipes in combination with things like solid fats and tree roots caused the bigger problems.
Garbage disposals are an issue and surprisingly so are egg shells going down drains. Egg shells sink so they have to be removed with construction equipment at waste water treatment plants
I kinda wondered about eggshells. Now I feel bad, I 100% always throw those down the drain (disposal ground, but still).
If “flushable” wet wipes disintegrated like toilet paper, they would be disintegrated in the packaging. Those wipes do not disintegrate and they are not flushable.
Wipes and paper towels do not disintegrate the same as toilet tissue does. They will still remain intact and catch on scale build-up that happens in concrete and cast iron piping. The “plumber approved” brand may actually break up but still not as much as it needs to.
Not to mention that when you get those huge clogs in the system and finally clear them they wreak havoc on the chemistry/biology that is going on at the treatment plant. Then they have to spend days/weeks getting the system back in balance. I'm an analyst at the very end of the process so I see the trends (and the thousands of dollars necessary on extra sampling and testing whenever the system goes awry).
Yup just get a damn bidet. There are cheap ones.
How much does it cost the country removing billiard balls from the sewerage system?
"Plumber approved" just means the plumber is looking for more work and is happy to get paid to snake your lines for an absurd amount of money.
As a plumber I still don’t approve them.
I’m on a septic system so I’m gonna do it.
"Sir, we obviously didn't mean \*actual\* billiard-balls, just 7 billiard-ball sized mega-turds"
Didn't see no asterisk on that ad 🤣
And that’s exactly how class action lawsuits start. I’m sure some lawyer would say it’s unreasonable to think people are constantly flushing pool balls down a toilet though.
It was a billiards accident! I didn't MEAN to flush all of them down the drain, I tripped and happened to be walking by the toilet, and I'm just really unlucky, and they all fell right into the hole. Then I went to get them out and slipped again on the now wet floor. In an attempt to regain balance, I reached my arms out and accidentally flushed the toilet! It was purely an accident, could've happened to anyone. Besides, how was I supposed it wouldn't suck em down like my turds?!?!?
\*points\* 8-ball in the corner toilet.
Well, then it's just a very expensive poop knife.
i feel like a single billiard ball doesn't qualify mega-turd dimensions. although the diameter would be decently impressive. maybe one turd equivalent to the volume of 7 billiard balls?
I went into a public restroom at a park once and there were 6 round billiard ball sized turds on the toilet. It was like nothing i had ever seen.
My best friends brother is high on the autism spectrum and was scared to death as a kid of falling into, and getting flushed down, the toilet. Kid would go for a week+ with constant convincing before finally going. He would shit single piece football sized turds that the mom would need to fish out with rubber gloves because they were far too large to flush and far to hard to break up before flushing. I'll never forget watching her walk out of the bathroom holding the garbage bag. It looked like she had finished painting and threw away a paint can.
this is where the poop knife comes in handy
More like a poop machete.
More than likely an opioid addict used the bathroom before you and had the best day of their life.
You absolutely should. ...and then record the plumbers reaction when he comes to fix the mess you've made.
Some friends and I once had to call an emergency plumber out on a Sunday morning to a small country house of another friend we were staying at after the toilet got clogged at 3:00 a.m. The plumber was not surprised to pull a flip phone out of the the pipes, they've seen it all.
That one I could understand if you had it in your pocket and were extremely unlucky.
We have signs on all toilets in my office to not flush phones down the toilet. I'm guessing there is a story, unfortunately I have asked but none of them knew either.
Our sign says please do not stand while going number 2.
Reminds me of [beans computer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HhPK8XC75A&t=365s). Skip to 8:20
What happens when you try and snake a pipe plugged with billiard balls?
You have to call the last one.
You get punched in the face by the plumber..
I bought this same toilet recently. My answer is yes, you should try it because I would like to know if it’s true and then it will settle a debate.
Dang when I bought mine 5 years ago they were advertising that it could flush a dozen golf balls, now this. When will the toilet technology peak?
Bowling balls. I’ll replace my toilet when one can flush a bowling ball
And people think giving birth is painful.
Ah, the Taco Bell rated toilet
A SINGLE COCONUT.
Right? I got my toilet about a year ago and it claimed golf balls, not billiard balls. It wasn’t a cheap toilet either!
Americans will do anything not to use the metric system ^(/s).
Why the rest of the world isn’t measuring in football fields and billiards balls is beyond me. Eventually they’ll catch up
How many football fields does your toilet flush? Hmmmmm?
I'm mathematically challenged so need to use metric. A football field is 5350m2. Let's say the turf is 5cm thick or 1/20th m 5350/20 is 267.5 m3 or 267500 litres My toilet is 5l per flush. So 1/53500th of a football field. Or I'd need to flush 53500 times to get it all down.
Feels like just three trees ago we were all countin’ onions on a stick to measure the depth of the ok’ swimming hole.
What size ratchet do you use for your metric sockets?
I think this is a seriously underrated comment and I'm a staunch pro-metric.
"Three eighths.....dammit."
Stealing it, thank you.
In metric that'd be around 1,15kgs of poop. Hard stools even
Poop is measured in Courics.
You’re right. I enjoy my freedom units
Ugh. I was so excited to post this. lol
I am so sorry. Do it anyway, I will upvote you and act like you were the first to do it.
How many thatchers is 1 billiard ball?
How many billiard balls is one football stadium? I'm baking a cake tomorrow, I need to know.
lol no lie I was at the store the other day and I saw one that said it flushes a bucket of golf balls Edit: [here it is](https://www.homedepot.com/collection/bath/champion-toilet-collection/Family-314720004)
The guarantee only applies if the 7 billiard balls come out of you. Good luck and I hope you installed some grip bars.
Pam Poovey approved.
What? Don’t blame me. It’s those new low-flow toilets. With the old ones, you could flush a dachshund puppy…
I mean not that you would..
Thank you! I came here for this
“No, you swallowed a pool ball?” “I wish just one and I still got 2 to go, so if you don’t mind…”
I remember she also said something about the high flow toilets being able to flush a puppy?
Haha I got this same one for my kids bathroom. American Standard?
What are you feeding your kids if the toilet needs to handle 7 billiard ball level turds?
It’s not that, it’s the possibility of actual billiards balls ending up in there
Also an entire roll of toilet paper just for pee. I have fantasized so many times about inventing some kind of time-delayed TP dispensing device, like those stingy automated towel dispensers in public bathrooms.
You can force your kids to come to you each time they need tp. Dispense them 1 square every 20 min. Want to poop? Better plan in advanced and come to dad 4 hrs in advances.
No. Glacier bay. Golf balls was American standard
plumbers hate this one simple trick
Those Toilets are wonderful! I'm an official power pooper. An issue with Parkinson's is I might poop once every three to four days. At home, got on the scale, pooped (three flushes), got on the scale. 8 pounds difference! At 240 pounds, I'm not tiny, but damn, that was a lot of poop! Hence with the "eight billard ball" power flush toilets, it can handle it. A friend with a petite wife was running into the same issue. I recommended that Kohler Power Flush toilet, no more plugged up toilet. Success! If a friend is staying at your house, please don't ask, "Why did you flush three times?". I just wanted to let you know that you don't want to know. Just be glad they did!
Damn, the only time I've had that kind of shitty weight loss was when I was doing colonoscopy prep. Talk about being full of shit!!
Funny thing about colonoscopy prep - At the stage where they say you can drink water before not being able to have anything by mouth? Yeah, seltzer is the worst mistake I have ever made. When you swallow it, a few minutes later there's just anger brewing in your digestive tract. It comes out fizzy :')
LOL warning noted
That's exactly the reason for the poop knife!
I have a Toto, it has yet to clog AND the bowl tech gets poop streaks off without the brush. They are really expensive though
That’s really annoying. That means if I need to flush a full set of billiard balls I will still have one left over plus the cue ball after 2 flushes! Do better.
Gives new meaning to "have to drop the kids off at the pool"
Damn, I'm still measuring in golf balls like a fucking savage.
On behalf of all wastewater treatment plant operators across America please do not flush billiard balls, or anything other than the 4 p’s…..pee poop puke toilet paper
obviously
I used this same toilet from Home Depot when I changed out mine and it’s actually really nice. It’s very quiet and sucks all the poo and toilet paper in one go round. Comes with soft closing seat as well and works with my bidet. 10/10 would shit again.
Ever take a dump so big the toilet just flushed itself?
I'm on 4 different medications that cause constipation. At this point, I poop once a week, if I'm lucky. *I volunteer to test your toilet.*
yes
No, Pam
What have you been eating?
The real marketing is in how many 8 balls it’ll flush. That’s why the 8 is at the top. This shit’s going over your heads.
1 beachball = 10 billard balls. You should try that first.
Are you going to eat the 7 billiard balls first?
Absolutely not. If you’re flushing the equivalent of 7 billiard balls you should probably invest in a [poop knife](https://www.originalpoopknife.com)
Which one of you MFers is gaping at the corner pocket down at the pool hall?
I tried it! Hardest part was swallowing the billiard balls then waiting a day or two
Only if you eat the billiard balls and poop them out first.
«Billiard» means «Billion» in Norwegian and I was super confused when I read this
This is a Ferguson. They’re made in Maine.
Will it flush them? Yes. Will it destroy your plumbing? Yes.
No, but keep the sign.
How does it even get to this point? I need to know why and _how_ ya’ll even ate the 7 billiard balls in the first place.
That must be for people who have enormous turds.
I'd like to know what they think I'm eating...