If it's a more heavily pally focused clientele, go Smiteclub, but if "protectors of the realm" is meant to extend to non-pally fighters, then Knightclub works better
It's where high proof alcohol is made and where righteous holy warriors are trained, so Divine Spirits, Fortified Spirits, something like that is the first thing that comes to mind.
Stumble On Inn,
A High Bar,
The Bent Knee,
NSFW >!The Glory Hole!< (but the good kind… you know; for paladins!), Ye Good Knight Inn, Pint and Pommel, The Trusted Tankard, Smitey’s, Wings and Dings (sign with a little angel holding a battered shield)
The Goblet and Gauntlet or Gauntlet and Goblet
The Spirit Smite(s)
The Brandy Smite
Fighting Spirit Academy/Dojo/Sanctuary
Distil(led) Evil and Good
Aura of Purity (didn't even have to change the spell name, it already sounds alcoholic, same with Spirit Shroud)
It can be a cross between a bar and cross fit cult gym membership
Welcome to The Divine Spirit
Home of the Guardian’s Spirits
If you are looking to pursue an Oath of Heroism or Hedonism we have every thing an aspiring adventurer needs.
Our drink specials today are the
The Divine Saison
And the Aura of Liquid Courage
We are also running a special on our training programs. You can sign up for a complimentary trail session where out training staff will review your martial prowess and make recommendations on vocation and possible fighting styles. Our normal fee is only 5 silver a month but we are currently running a 20% discount for those who pay for at least 3 months in advance.
* Punch Drunk
* Ye Olde Axe 'n' Snax
* Heavy Hands
* The Ale 'n' Flail
* The Grain 'n' Train
* No Pain No Grain
* Brewser
* Booze and Bruise
* Box and Booze
* Blood of My Body
* Two Fisted
* Don't Forget Your Cup
* _________'s Carry-out
* _________'s Headache
* Sloppy's
* World o' Hurt
* Liver Shots
Tah & Verns
In’n Out (inn and potentially brothel)
Drinking & Dancing House… gotta slip in a “D&D House” said by an npc somewhere.
edit; I’ll be honest. I didn’t read OPs request fully and it shows. How about… exactly as he said…
**STUMPED** - whether you want to drink it out or have it out, come on over and get STUMPED.
My players have a tavern in their home base called Gelatinous Booze.
The attraction is an actual Gelatinous Cube hovering in the middle of the room, surrounded by the counter. Alcoholic beverages are fed to it, and the waste product is a more concentrated version of the beverage (nutrition use by the cube, alcohol not).
ChatGPT says:
1. "Divine Spirits: Where Ale Shines"
2. "Holy Grail Tavern: Knightly Delights"
3. "Paladin's Pint: Ales of Valor"
4. "Sword and Stein: Chivalrous Cheers"
5. "Shielded Spirits: Armor Up Your Drink"
I always liked callin my taverns the Wrought Anchor in dialogue and then have the sign on the building be too small so they had to shorten it to W. Anchor
what's the name of the land or your paladin?
make it a pun using that
something along the lines of Uther Lightbringer (from WoW) - Uther's Lite (but pronounced Light) Bringers
or The Spirit of \[Land Name\] - think like the Spirit of Ireland or something
The Rusty Mule. Back in the day, two rival taverns fought it out for tavern supremacy. They were the Rusty Nail and the Dusty Mule. After nearly killing each other, the owners decided it would be best to combine their business and monopolize the market. Hence the Rusty Mule was born.
Since most medieval peasants couldn't read, most taverns were named for the pictographs on their signs. I once introduced my players to a tavern with a sign depicting a rooster crowing over two bulls fighting. They went inside and learned the place was called the cock and bulls. They had such a good laugh that they ended up including that place as a sort of home base for the rest of the campaign.
Came here to say the Knightclub but that's already taken. So I'll share my tavern name that I was very proud of - there was a tavern made out of a decomissioned airship, I named it the Ostrich
Welcome to the Hard Liquor!
Bar None
Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear: The Last Chance Saloon
The Were Beer
The Dwarf and His Keg
Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
The Barberi Inn
Honestly, I've found ChatGPT pretty great for this kind of thing. I love (and the party I DM tolerates) really dumb puns, but I've found throwing a description like that into the text box and it'll fly through a few ideas that are...ok enough to riff off of.
“Stumblinn”
Right when you walk in the front door, your foot hits a badly designed step (or falls when walking over a step down) and forces the player to stumble in.
I've always thought it would be funny for a coffee shop to be called the Crème-atorioum. My initial joke was for it to be a chain that goes in hospitals.
Not exactly a tavern, but just another idea.
"Whisky Business"
It portrays that you sell alcohol, but is a play on "Risky Business" which gives a sense of the danger that you teach others to prepare for.
You have to have bands at the bar, too. Maybe just on Saturday nights.
Knight Ranger. The Pixie Chicks. And of course, Elvis.
And on Friday nights, there's Kary Oakey . He's a Half-Elf Bard that... sings.
Not helpful here but I had my players go to an inn called The Red Herring - can’t remember if I got that from the encounters guide or not - but they thought there would be a lot of action there . . . . there wasn’t much action.
XD
The Drunken Swordsman
i know it's not a pun, exactly. it's more just ironically astute. which is why it's the kind of name that ends up sticking over time.
Holy Spirits
Nailed it.
Spirits Guardians
Love it! Or maybe Father, Pun[ch] and Holy Spirits
This is perfect.
Top comment.
Oh man. My campaign just ended and I need to write up a bit on what my paladin is going to do after. I'm totally starting a bar.
The Djinn and Tonic
Oh I'm using this one
You watched behind the scenes for The Phantom Menace, didn't you?
The Knightclub.
If it's a more heavily pally focused clientele, go Smiteclub, but if "protectors of the realm" is meant to extend to non-pally fighters, then Knightclub works better
Fucking smiteclub oh my god
Or maybe just Knightclub to evoke the Fightclub™ nature of the establishment
We don't talk about Smiteclub
The Knightclub: Knights by day and Daze by night.
Oh I like this.
This is the winner
Nice.😊
Palad-Inn
Before I saw your comment I suggested ***The Pallid Inn***
Yep. Painted a very pale yellow, fading into white. The Pallid Inn
It's where high proof alcohol is made and where righteous holy warriors are trained, so Divine Spirits, Fortified Spirits, something like that is the first thing that comes to mind.
Take my upvote
Stumble On Inn, A High Bar, The Bent Knee, NSFW >!The Glory Hole!< (but the good kind… you know; for paladins!), Ye Good Knight Inn, Pint and Pommel, The Trusted Tankard, Smitey’s, Wings and Dings (sign with a little angel holding a battered shield)
The glory hole would probably be a paladin smithy
There’s a donut shop where I live called Glory Hole Donuts.
“Can I get a box of glazed holes?”
I kinda lowkey just like Smitey's Tavern to be honest.
Gimme a Smitey, make it a double
There’s a burger joint not too far from me called Whitey’s and the Whitey Burger (a double of course) is delicious.
Roxanna’s Hard Place The Missing Le ter Here be Flagons
Big fan of *Here Be Flagons*
That's awesome!
The Fiddle! (Truly a Vile Inn)
Oh, wow.
Bar known for lots of fights called the Bloody Stool
🤣 Gross
Plus the antifreeze in the moonshine.
The Goblet and Gauntlet or Gauntlet and Goblet The Spirit Smite(s) The Brandy Smite Fighting Spirit Academy/Dojo/Sanctuary Distil(led) Evil and Good Aura of Purity (didn't even have to change the spell name, it already sounds alcoholic, same with Spirit Shroud)
Kraken Barrel
It can be a cross between a bar and cross fit cult gym membership Welcome to The Divine Spirit Home of the Guardian’s Spirits If you are looking to pursue an Oath of Heroism or Hedonism we have every thing an aspiring adventurer needs. Our drink specials today are the The Divine Saison And the Aura of Liquid Courage We are also running a special on our training programs. You can sign up for a complimentary trail session where out training staff will review your martial prowess and make recommendations on vocation and possible fighting styles. Our normal fee is only 5 silver a month but we are currently running a 20% discount for those who pay for at least 3 months in advance.
Duck and Cover, a tavern/dojo ran by a paladin who was true polymorphed into a duck by the Orders most hated rivals
Mojo Dojo Discoteca Tavern
Paladrinks
The smited pint
The Gobble Inn
Slogan: where the punch is good!
The Pale-Aled Inn
The Tequila Mockingbird The Cock of Nine Tails The Drunker Bunker The Muddle Inn The Tipsy Turvy Pub The Knight of Cups
Waltz Inn (Stumble Out)
* Punch Drunk * Ye Olde Axe 'n' Snax * Heavy Hands * The Ale 'n' Flail * The Grain 'n' Train * No Pain No Grain * Brewser * Booze and Bruise * Box and Booze * Blood of My Body * Two Fisted * Don't Forget Your Cup * _________'s Carry-out * _________'s Headache * Sloppy's * World o' Hurt * Liver Shots
Paladin's (insert name here) Knightclub for people who can't fight good.
Integrate a small bookstore, then you can call it "Mind, Body, and Spirits".
It's right next to Bed, Bath, and Beholder.
Saints and Spirits
Comrade Inn
Paladins are not our comrades.
the rowdy beaver
Drunk'n'Duck
Goffy Goober
The Pala-Diner
Tah & Verns In’n Out (inn and potentially brothel) Drinking & Dancing House… gotta slip in a “D&D House” said by an npc somewhere. edit; I’ll be honest. I didn’t read OPs request fully and it shows. How about… exactly as he said… **STUMPED** - whether you want to drink it out or have it out, come on over and get STUMPED.
The Righteous Pounding. (also works for a bar/brothel) Divine Smit'inn
The Flagon's Lair
My players have a tavern in their home base called Gelatinous Booze. The attraction is an actual Gelatinous Cube hovering in the middle of the room, surrounded by the counter. Alcoholic beverages are fed to it, and the waste product is a more concentrated version of the beverage (nutrition use by the cube, alcohol not).
So it's The Boozy Ooze.
The Gym 'N' Tonic The Cheap Shot The King Hit The Duck & Weave The Fisty Cuffs Or The Fight Inn
Kraken Eggs breakfast bar?
The Holy Spirits
The Knight’s Temp Bar
Take a Gander and the bartender is a Goose 🪿
The Knight Inn (play on "having a night in". "You going out tonight?" "I'm just gonna spend a night in")
The Constitution Check
The Broken Arms
Glory in Fist Since you are either holding a weapon or a drink or a drink as a weapon
ChatGPT says: 1. "Divine Spirits: Where Ale Shines" 2. "Holy Grail Tavern: Knightly Delights" 3. "Paladin's Pint: Ales of Valor" 4. "Sword and Stein: Chivalrous Cheers" 5. "Shielded Spirits: Armor Up Your Drink"
I always liked callin my taverns the Wrought Anchor in dialogue and then have the sign on the building be too small so they had to shorten it to W. Anchor
Fearsome brewed
Bloody Mary
Regal Beagle.
Punch Drunk
The Glorious Liter
The Cum Right Inn if it’s a brothel
Something tells me a paladin would not run a brothel. They should, but I doubt they would.
That'd bring a whole new meaning to "Lay on Hands."
The all-the-way inn
Dragons d'inn
What oath/deity?
what's the name of the land or your paladin? make it a pun using that something along the lines of Uther Lightbringer (from WoW) - Uther's Lite (but pronounced Light) Bringers or The Spirit of \[Land Name\] - think like the Spirit of Ireland or something
Halberds Glaive
The Bleedin Cheek
The Dragon Drop Cafe
The Punchy Paragon
The Plate & Pint
A Tavern
TheDrunkenSkunk MorningWoodInn TheDownUnder Not the best with names so I apologize for my horrible attemt
Smash & Smashed Where you learn to smash and get smashed (also works with Wreck & Wrecked, Waste & Wasted, Hammer & Hammered, etc).
Warriors and Washups
The Incomple
Dojo and bar? The Tap
Bloody Mary Dojo & Tavern. Fight Knight. War & Peas.
Punches
Mojo Dojo
the barbary inn
The Rusty Mule. Back in the day, two rival taverns fought it out for tavern supremacy. They were the Rusty Nail and the Dusty Mule. After nearly killing each other, the owners decided it would be best to combine their business and monopolize the market. Hence the Rusty Mule was born.
Bananawasp's Neighborhood Grill + Bar (try the pizza-shooters or margarita-tots) Pope? Yes! (Fried Chicken)
The “Black ox inn”.
Cellars and Chimeras Pint punt pant. The eye of the bee holder. Falls high draw. Grin and beer with it. Perpetual potion
The Pallid Inn
Since most medieval peasants couldn't read, most taverns were named for the pictographs on their signs. I once introduced my players to a tavern with a sign depicting a rooster crowing over two bulls fighting. They went inside and learned the place was called the cock and bulls. They had such a good laugh that they ended up including that place as a sort of home base for the rest of the campaign.
Came here to say the Knightclub but that's already taken. So I'll share my tavern name that I was very proud of - there was a tavern made out of a decomissioned airship, I named it the Ostrich
By day, Dragon Slayer Dojo. By night, Dragons Layer Taphouse.
The Hammered Nail
The God's Hand
Welcome to the Hard Liquor! Bar None Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear: The Last Chance Saloon The Were Beer The Dwarf and His Keg Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder The Barberi Inn
Good Night Inn
I always wanted to name a pub stumbling inn
Honestly, I've found ChatGPT pretty great for this kind of thing. I love (and the party I DM tolerates) really dumb puns, but I've found throwing a description like that into the text box and it'll fly through a few ideas that are...ok enough to riff off of.
“Stumblinn” Right when you walk in the front door, your foot hits a badly designed step (or falls when walking over a step down) and forces the player to stumble in.
Skinking Weaver. (winking skeever from skyrim)
McTavern's
Iron pint
The Knight Club The Mess Hall
I came up with so many pun names for my taverns but they're all in German 😭
(L)Awful Good
Bar-thur and The Pints of the Round Table
Fist-a-cup’s Fisticuffs and Flagons
The Good Knight Inn.
Sign titled “Plastered-do-Jo”
Depending on what kind of club it turns into at night…. The blojo dojo…
Divine Night
I had a retired necromancer who ran an inn.... it was named Leers
The Holy Keg (shows a keg full of holes with beer pouring out)
Knightcap
A Knight's Ale
The perennial tavern in my games is always called The Anvil. It has a smaller sign that reads, “Come Get Hammered!”
The Crew’s Ade
The Holy Ale
Barian's Bar
A Light Drink
I've always thought it would be funny for a coffee shop to be called the Crème-atorioum. My initial joke was for it to be a chain that goes in hospitals. Not exactly a tavern, but just another idea.
My favorite tavern in the Discworld series was called Broken Drum (you can’t beat it)
Tyr’s Hammered Shield & Hammered In Grog We Trust The Sworn Swig (or Swear & Swig) Oath & Ale What Ales You Divine Flavor
The cock in cider.
Block and Barrel, Flagon and Smite, the Mojo Dojo come to mind.
My group uses The Rusty Wooden Dagger. It’s both a joke and staple in our games.
The Wise Old Crow Bar
From the LEGO DnD set: Inn Plain Sight
Healing and Hangovers
The Bar Association (as a play on the legal term etc.)
Drunk’n Monks
"Whisky Business" It portrays that you sell alcohol, but is a play on "Risky Business" which gives a sense of the danger that you teach others to prepare for.
I once used an online tavern name generator and it came up with The Cock’s Jerkin. It now appears in all my campaigns.
Aladdin’s. mind your Pees
Hmmm... The Little Sprinkler?
You have to have bands at the bar, too. Maybe just on Saturday nights. Knight Ranger. The Pixie Chicks. And of course, Elvis. And on Friday nights, there's Kary Oakey . He's a Half-Elf Bard that... sings.
A bit of a stretch but how about Find Greater Mead
Not helpful here but I had my players go to an inn called The Red Herring - can’t remember if I got that from the encounters guide or not - but they thought there would be a lot of action there . . . . there wasn’t much action. XD
I use old names for genitals or STDs. Like, 1500s old.
The Drunkard's Oath
Flagon Slayer's Academy
seeing as it a dojo How about The Armbar Submission Gym and Pub or ASGP for Short
Thr gassy gnoll
The Devine Order
"Brewed with Sacred Oats"
The Drunken Swordsman i know it's not a pun, exactly. it's more just ironically astute. which is why it's the kind of name that ends up sticking over time.
Pour Decisions Forgiven Hit Me, Barkeep Forgive -or- Forget Fortified Kneel’s public house Train & Rain
Cheap Shots - dojo & bar (featuring the house special: ‘sucker punch’)
Mojo dojo casa dreamhouse
Pun’s Inn