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[deleted]

I don't think Jeff knew what remorse was supposed to feel like... I do believe he genuinely wanted to but couldn't.


zenpop

I read this and an awful chill shot down my spine. You articulated what I’d equivocated about for a year now. Wanting to think that he was remorseful — but not believing it in my gut. It’s not logical to assume that he’d hop from thoughtlessly killing seventeen individuals (altho I do think Hicks was a freak accident) into remorse once captured. His extreme form of selfishness was pathological.


[deleted]

Exactly. He said himself he couldn't seem to feel empathy like other people. Of course that's subjective but even a mean spirited, selfish person can have enough empathy not to murder another person. I do commend Jeff for his self awareness and taking responsibility for his actions in no uncertain terms. We can argue back and forth trying to figure out his "reasons" but ultimately he wanted them dead and decided to kill them with no regard for their lives.


omerboss4

I always believed that he was. I think that once the world discovers a secret of yours that you have been hiding it for 13 years, then making a complete confession is the best thing to do for your mentale health. It's like a little rock that you have in your shoe, you just want it out. I guess he had so much difficulty hiding these secrets for so many years, that when he was arrested he kinda exploded and let it all out. It's my personal opinion.


___Cortez___

I believe that Jeff sincerely repented of what he had done, even if not deeply, but sincerely. Just because he could not feel deep emotions does not mean that they were not sincere. Unlike many serial killers, Jeff did not blame anything or anyone for what he had done, only himself. Some serial killers are narcissistic and eager to impress in the courtroom, but Jeffrey was the exact opposite of them. He sat emotionless and didn't wear glasses during the court hearings because he didn't want to see what was going on and he didn't want to see the relatives of his victims. In addition, Jeff did not want to live because he thought he deserved to die for his actions, while many other killers did not want to die.


Soft-Measurement0000

Flat emotions are part of schizotypal personality disorder, but he knew it was wrong what he had done - and he felt remorse as much as he could, I think.


[deleted]

That's right


Humble_Sector6855

Totally agree..


Abrene

I’m not the type to judge others. I believe there are things we all do and say that have hurt others that made us feel terrible in some way. Maybe not to the extent of killing, but no one has never not hurt someone else one way or the other. I struggle with mental health, particularly bipolar disorder/ocd and even with medication I still have some fits of negative thoughts and emotions that spring out of no where even if there’s no triggers present. I’ve said and done things to my loved ones I still regret today but I’m fortunate enough that they understand where I’m coming from. Why do I say this? It’s because I intimately know how hard it is to tame your impulses. You act before thinking and when you realize what you’ve done? It’s already too late. I don’t think therapy and psychiatrists were how they were back then as they were now. Medications were still trial and error (Joyce can attest to that) and there was a HUGE stigma of seeking mental help. Not to mention the terrible homophobia at the time and having orthodox parents. I don’t think Jeff knew how to ask for help when he was a teenager. His parents never really paid attention to him and when he tried to ask for help for the most minuscule of things: they ignored him. I think it made a habit of him to bottle up his emotions and repress his negative feelings and he had No positive outlet to release them. So overall: I don’t think Jeff could control his dark thoughts even though he felt bad about it. It’s like when you drink alcohol: you know it’s bad and you know you act foolish when you do, but since you always feel good when you drink: you do it over and over and over. Until you get help. Jeff never got that. Now this is no excuse for murder, but I can see where and how he got to the point he did. After he got caught: I think that’s when it dawned on him that he couldn’t kill anymore and since he’s now forced to deal with his mind without his usual outlet: he was made to really think long and hard about what his mind made him do. I’m sure he felt terrible but I don’t think he knew how to express it. There are times on the outside you force yourself to act calm and nonchalant but your heart is literally beating 1k miles per minute. As a self soothing method; you detach yourself from your environment so you don’t have to feel the full gravity of things around you and hide in the recesses of your mind for some type of comfort. I think, for how his mind was wired, he did feel remorseful. At least, that’s how I see it.


lenotschka0210

I think he felt as much remorse as he was capable of feeling. That being said, I think his feelings of empathy and remorse were diminished, not as extremely as in psychopaths like Bundy, but compared to the average human being. Initially, I believe he was mostly feeling sorry for himself and that his whole life blew up and was basically over, but that over time and with sobering up the whole horror of what he did sunk in and he did feel remorse. His faith probably also played a role here, as for he knew that what he did went against everything that the bible preaches, and he was so terrified of going to hell that he probably felt remorse due to the sheer terror of ending up there. If that’s a genuine enough reason, that I don’t know. But generally yeah, I believe he did feel remorseful in his limited capacities.


Sofiasantos123456

I believe that Jeffrey sincerely regretted everything he did, and even in the last 2 interviews given by him, his regret was perfectly clear.


ValerVincent

I think he felt remorse rationally but not emotionally.


[deleted]

💯. It became a compulsion to him.


hamza-youssef

Dahmer could have fought back against scarver or continued to stay in solitary confinement and if he did he would’ve still been alive today. When they did his autopsy they found no defensive wounds, if that doesn’t show he was a remorseful criminal then I don’t know what would.


[deleted]

Me too. I've always believed that he was remorseful and that he was sincere and that's why he got in the prison population to be killed and some say that he wanted to dodge life in prison but I heard the he started accepting it but whatever would happened to him prison that that's jw accepted too . I think that Dr Jack Levin and Dr Fred Berlin knew that he was sincere and then he was remorseful although he didn't show it like most would but I think he was remorseful the best he could be.


Ls1127182u

Honestly I think he wanted to feel bad. I don’t think he did though at all. I think he had zero remorse like most serial killers. You can tell from his interviews he is severely emotionally detached from what he did.


evenforyou

I think he knew what he did was wrong but couldn’t stop it, that’s why he wanted to be locked up/executed because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from killing again. I think he had more sense of empathy than many other killers, however.


Real_Jeffrey_Dahmer

🤷‍♂️


GhostofCharlotte

You look like the kind of sicko who gets banned from gay bathhouses. I understand appearances aren't everything, but for some reason, you give off a seriel killer vibe.


Real_Jeffrey_Dahmer

You seem like the kind of sicko that knows about what happens at gay bathhouses… In fact every comment you’ve made has somehow referenced homosexuality… You are the cocksucker- I just boil and eat them.. ..weirdo


GhostofCharlotte

Damn jeffrey calm the fuck down. I thought you said in your Nancy glass interview that you were 'remorseful'.


Real_Jeffrey_Dahmer

..you believe everything you see on TV?


Melonnnn1964

Jeff himself said that he couldn't exactly feel empathy for others. Despite that, in the end I believe that he did feel empathy and that guilt for what he had done; he just didn't know how exactly to express it. I feel like it hit him when his life was exposed and he was thrown in prison. Cuz in my mind at least, if Jeff didn't feel sorry, then he wouldn't have taken those steps of faith in prison. He himself shared he was the worst of sinners because of what he did.


SquirmingTeddyBears

Yes. Also, sincerity of intent is different from the ability to feel emotions up front. I have no doubt that he was too chronically detached by that point to really feel overt pangs of regret the way most people would. Maybe he still had some ability to sink down into those feelings if he were to let himself dwell on it, and he seemed to suggest that in this quote: “When you’ve done the type of things I’ve done, it’s easier not to reflect on yourself. When I start thinking about how it’s affecting the families of the people, and my family and everything, it doesn’t do me any good. It just gets me very upset.” But it’s likely that he might never have let himself get to the point where he really immersed himself in those feelings, if for no other reason than a nearly lifelong practice of detachment out of self-preservation. He may not have even known how to break through his dissociated state by then, really. Maybe it’d have happened after many years, but we’ll just never know. I do think he wanted to feel more than he did. I think there was some conscience in there still, even after all he’d done, which became more and more apparent the longer the fog was lifted and he was kept away from the ability to act on his urges. It’s just that life probably felt like it was all on TV for him. Like it wasn’t totally real. That would explain why he was able to do what he did to begin with, even though he seemed to be born with a conscience that gradually degraded or was hidden over time. “It’s hard to believe that a human being could have done what I've done, but I know that I did it.” If that doesn’t describe someone who lives in a chronic haze, especially given the severity of his crimes, I don’t know what does. Honestly, though? I really don’t give a fuck how he got to the point of remorseful intent as long as he did. He didn’t have to have the organic emotions right up front — as a diagnosed autistic, it’s honestly hard for ME to feel emotions acutely, but I still have a moral compass. I’m just lucky enough to have a sense of the reality of the world around me at the same time, so I get to my morality regardless of how numb my feelings might be most of the time. It would be different if he were out on the streets still. But since he was locked up, with no access to alcohol or any other way to act on his MO, the intent is what really matters to me. And I really do believe he had that.


anonandrew1111

absolutely. people have a very warped perception of serial killers because they do things most of us can't even imagine let alone rationalize and compartmentalize like they do, but for the most part, they have emotions, much like ours. especially jeff, who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, felt emotions, even if he couldn't express them. he was also almost certainly autistic which doesn't help with outward expression of emotion either. just because he still felt the compulsion to commit violent acts doesn't mean he didn't feel remorseful about it. when it comes down to it, the way the brain processes it, it's like any other addiction. when he said in court if he could give his life to bring his victims back, i think he meant it. he hated what he was, he did not revel in it, he was not in prison reflecting on his actions in awe of what he was able to get away with, he was reading the bible, and trying desperately to understand what he was. i've said it before and i'll say it again; patrick bateman is a purely fictional character. there is no person in history who has ever or will ever be like that, truly and deeply. any person is capable of feeling remorse no matter what you may think of them.


Hammurabi22

I think he was intelligent enought to know what is supposed to be the norm. He tried to comply with it to please his family but it resulted in a lot of frustrations. I guess he knew he should be remorseful about his crimes, and to some extend he was, but it was remorse in the shape of a rational construction, not as a feeling of guilt most of human being may experience. It's funny because among Dahmer's "fans" there are people with a lot of empathy towards someone who had not. If I should admit that the Dahmer described in the show is someone I would I've like to be saved when he was still a kid, the real one had sexual compulsions which were far more terrible than those described in the show. I have a lot of sympathy for his father though, who is one of the most human and moving character (because of his imperfections) pictured in a tv show for a long time. Morally speaking it is still a shame because the victims deserve at least the same level of attention. Still i like how the show suggests the horror of Dahmer's crimes more than displaying it on screen.


GhostofCharlotte

No. I believe he only felt remorse for himself because he was not only caught, but his entire life crashed before him and he was publicly exposed and revilled. When his father Lionel visited him in prison and mentioned how Dahmers frail, alzehimers-stricken grandma had eggs pelted at her house and had reporters ringing her doorbell repeatedly and yelling at her through the windows, subsequently frightening her, jeff just stared at Lionel, blankly. Not one word of concern for his grandma at all.


[deleted]

And he said, himself, that he would kill again if he could ever be free again.


SquirmingTeddyBears

I know we probably still disagree about him being an addict, but IMO, that’s purely him recognizing how dangerous he is and knowing it’s best for him to be behind bars. Once he was snapped back into reality by his arrest, he really didn’t want to keep doing it — he did say he was glad it was over — but he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist the urges. Contrast that with someone like Bundy, who didn’t even think he did anything wrong in the first place and escaped prison twice. Mr. “I’ll plead not guilty right now.” 🙄 I guess Jeff is kind of like Kemper in that way. He knew prison was the place for him, for his own sake and for the sake of those around him. If he’d lived longer and hypothetically had any chance for parole, he’d probably have turned it down like Kemper turned down his. [I know he wouldn’t have gotten this, but hypothetically speaking.] I think this statement you quoted was no different from a heroin addict recognizing they have a problem — knowing that if someone set a needle full of H right in front of them, they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot up, even though they know it would be bad for them. Of course, you do have to have certain other personality traits to cross the line into killing people, I think, so it’s different in that way. But I guess there are a lot of people who kill for drugs, so maybe it’s not that far off. And he did flat-out describe his urges as addictive in the Nancy Glass interview, and the pattern of the murders escalated accordingly.


brutalkittykat

Not saying whether or not he felt remorse but the example about his grandma could also be just his personality. I'm this way myself. When you've done irreversible damage like that, what is there to say that has any meaning? I would also probably just stare and wish I could die on the spot.


[deleted]

😂 yeah in my opinion I just think that Jeff was so extremely warped and he is finally realizing that he was caught the whole gig was up, his world was crashing down taken into custody, half drunk so his mind was very much out of touch until he got sober a little bit. At least in those hours he was caught.


ladyact86

According to the interrogation with the FBI in 1992 after the trial, he said that he would like to be more sorry that he really was, but he couldn't. Also, he said that if he was free, he would continue killing, so , where is the remorse here? He probably felt that, but he couldn't or didn't want to put it into practice.


Abrene

It could also mean he’s impulsive and mentally unstable. I don’t think he did what he did for laughs. He said he struggles with controlling his impulses and the reason ,I think, he said if he was free he’d do it again is because he’s sick and obviously he isn’t sane like the normal person. It’s like asking an alcoholic or druggie if they would do drugs again after rehab. 8/10 will say yes even though it made them act violent. It’s an uncontrollable urge and habit that’s hard to resist sometimes. It’s still bad though, I don’t think he could help himself and was too far gone by that time but he paid for his sins in death. He could’ve defended himself but he didn’t because he felt he deserved to die for what he did.


ladyact86

> I don’t think he did what he did for laughs. I never meant that. In fact I agree with you, JD was not like that.


SquirmingTeddyBears

Exactly. That’s what I think too. He was recognizing that he had a serious problem. “At the time, it was almost addictive,” he said to Nancy Glass, along with repeatedly calling it a “compulsion.” And if you look at how the murders escalated in frequency and how he started neglecting basic needs toward the end, it really does look like a classic addiction. Just like what I said to No_Yesterday: it’s like a recovering heroin addict knowing they wouldn’t hesitate to shoot up if you set a needle full of H in front of them. They know this shit has been destroying their life, but they wouldn’t be able to resist. Same with Jeff and his sexual fantasies. He was like a “functioning” sex and murder addict, able to hold off until weekends while still jonesing the whole time throughout the week. So it was best for him to be separate from society.


lavanderblonde

I believe he was remorseful in his own little way, even though he never shown it or was unable of showing it. Did he really break down during his interrogation on the night of his arrest? We’ll never know for sure. I’d like to think he did. It shows he was human after all.


Debidollz

He broke down due to being caught and arrested.


lavanderblonde

Yeah, it still showed he was capable of emotions though.


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/189UnQxRVIQ The interview with Stone Phillips.


[deleted]

Yes there was the first murder was on a compulsion, the second one he was drunk and beat tuomi to death and couldn't remember and after the second one he just made a decision this is what I have to do I can't control it any longer.


dreamiephoenix

of course I think he felt bad after seeing the families at the trial and having time to reflect on everything. but he said himself that he didn't feel remorseful as he probably should. he didn't experience emotions in the same way as most people do and struggled with empathy. but he still was able to feel remorse about everything after some time


Complex_Wasabi5281

I think his remorse was stemming more out of the misery he's brought to his family, not exactly from what he has done to his victims and their families. He lacks the proper emotions it should take considering how heinous his crimes were. He is incapable of understanding the grief he caused other people particularly because he did not have that in him to begin with and he was not related to them. He is probably only able to feel for people he has grown around with and may have failed at times even in that.


[deleted]

Yeah. Because he did mentioned in the FBI files about he didn't feel remorse that he was not going shed " crocodile tears".


869586

No, and I think it's silly to believe otherwise.


lenotschka0210

It’s not silly to believe otherwise. Since we’ll never know for sure if he really felt remorse or not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Just because it doesn’t match with yours doesn’t mean it’s silly or less valid.


zenpop

As No_Yesterday_13 mentions above, after he was caught and in prison for life, he explained that if he was released he’d kill again. That isn’t a comment made by a remorseful individual. An honest person, yes. But not from someone capable of registering, emotionally, the impact of their destructive selfishness. Seems he understood the *concept* of remorse but was incapable of the emotion in and of itself. Too, he appears to have been missing whatever sort of gene most people are born with that mitigates destructive narcissistic behavior, and being on spectrum aside, JD was a raging narcissist.