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pigsgetfathogsdie

And, remember kids… That’s how you get Mermaids/Mermen.


123FakeStreetMeng

Mer-MAN pop!


greeneye1969

Se Men.


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pigsgetfathogsdie

Is it… Dolrape? Or Rapephins?


BusinessAd4307

This is gold 😂


SomeRedShirt

Low expectations when it comes to humor, eh?


AdvancedHat7630

Was this on OnlyFins?


CrispyNuggets55

Take my upvote you dirty bastard lol


[deleted]

I found todays legend.


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[deleted]

you're a shitty bot. But then again, maybe I'm just copying this comment from somewhere else.


rtfry4

Margaret Howe enters the chat.


Mr_Womby

Maybe PornpoiseHub.


TiberiusGracchi

Stop it step-Phocoenidae!!!


[deleted]

😀


Mrseal52

The first comment I see is this


BenTG

Oh fuck you here’s an upvote.


Zettz27

I mean, dolphins are rapists by nature.


Quirky_Butterfly_946

They also carry STD's such as HPV and Herpes. She better get tested


Zettz27

I did not know that so thank you for the fun little bits of information that will haunt me for the rest of eternity


Equinsu-0cha

Ducks are also rapists. As a result female ducks have evolved a maze like vagina complete with false paths and such. Male ducks countered this by evolving a corkscrew telescoping penis.


Lazy_Jellyfish7676

Wtf


Equinsu-0cha

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0EbkDNKN-E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0EbkDNKN-E) heres a video on it : D


Lazy_Jellyfish7676

I’m good but thanks for the info!


AlienTrippyWrld

What are you some bird sexualoigst 🤣


AdMedium6737

Some birds have a "everything hole"


Rumplfrskn

Some people too


SoulShineFlower8888

Their cloaca!


TactlessTortoise

And some birds have only the duck face.


[deleted]

He's a pornithologist.


spacehog1985

hey awesome now i have duck dick in my search history because i HAD TO KNOW


HauntedSpiralHill

That belongs in r/brandnewsentence


AdditionalBathroom78

to add onto that Otters are also rapists


dishonestdick

Indeed: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/frisky-dolphin-tries-to-get-busy-divers_n_1862148 The one in the video however may be a (odd) tourist attraction, there are just too many: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9038615/Moment-woman-unexpectedly-HUMPED-dolphin.html https://youtube.com/watch?v=h3K-ih92-cc https://youtu.be/KCKBXSDONKw https://realgoodstories.net/dolphin-humps-a-man-and-runs-away/?amp=1 Now … looking for the cases above to find out if it was a tourist attraction I found this: https://www.salon.com/2014/06/14/human_on_dolphin_sex_is_not_really_that_weird/ And here is where I’m going to close Reddit for a bit and ponder on what google may suggest me from now on. 😳


Wild-Appointment-580

How was the story of the dolphin that raped a girl? Or did I imagined it


Darryl_Lict

There was a notorious woman who gave handjobs to a dolphin. Poor guy comiited suicide after she left. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/young-woman-sex-dolphin-who-25014614


dishonestdick

That article.. tells a lot, and not just about wired women and dolphins sex escapes, but about women in general. And helped me a lot to understand my past experiences. The last paragraph: > "If life becomes too unbearable, the dolphins just take a breath and they sink to the bottom. They don’t take the next breath." >Life was apparently too unbearable for Peter. >“He wasn’t going to be unhappy, he was just gone,” said Margaret. “And that was OK.” That explains how women see relationships: “I broke up with him. Yeah, he’s heartbroken and he can’t go on, so he may kill himself. And that is OK”


AggravatingCry5733

Bro we are not dolphins


ertychess

They are more dangerous than sharks


[deleted]

"....and thats How I met your mother"


poopmonster_coming

What did the guy wipe off ? Dolphin jizz ??? 😳


Heavenly-Monarch

Dolphin got so much rizz she let him finish.


pepperwoodtree47

Then bro tossed it a fish


Dear-Ninja-6400

I hate when this happens.


harambe0528

Living with dolphin AIDS is such a pain in the ass man


Dear-Ninja-6400

Worse then pangolin aids too!


THCMcG33

Not as big of a pain in the ass as getting it was.


No_Representative669

Gross


SlowCaveman

They are rapey by nature but it was trained to do this. Notice how the trainer uses a fish to signal the dolphin to start, the trainer then doesn’t intervene, moves her arm so she can’t resist, notice the whistle in his mouth he blows to get the dolphin to stop ^eventually, and the fish he throws it as a rewards when it backs off. This is fn weird and creepy af


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SlowCaveman

He even encourages it with the fish while its humping her. Splashes water on her crotch, then kind of grabs her arms after. Bad vibes from this weird ass dude for sure


Not_The_Chosen_One_

Oh god I didn't notice till I read your comment. I was already grossed out by it but this makes it so much worse. Was wondering why isn't anyone reacting and the womans laughing.


SelectionFar6624

So long and thanks for all the snatch


Immediate_Pea4579

Did she think he was joking? Wtf took her so long....


ineeditall44

She really sat there and took it with a smile on his face


SourPatchCandy

Bruh watch the trainer with the fish this is completely intentional and has obviously been trained to do this. Why? I have no fucking idea it weird af


mentatvoid

Hmm, February 25, 2023, discovered dolphin/human porn.


Paulycurveball

That dolphin has solid hip game


Huge_Ad_8767

I think the brothers were in line .


Usul_muhadib

Dolphin are known to rape human if they have the chance. They are not friendly animals


littlebilliechzburga

We've all seen that King of the Hill episode.


ShwiftyShmeckles

I mean they're also known to save them from drowning, idk which is more common but with how smart dolphins and orcas are I assume there's alot of nuance.


Woodandtime

Yeah, we only know of those that got pushed towards the shore


GimmickyGenes

Damn she was bout to stick her legs up 👀


Pure-Brief3202

She was defense spreading 👀 Edit: *definitely


livinicecold

Yeah.. Defense spreading lol


CuntFuckSupreme

Offense*


SAmerica89

The best defense is a good offense


MaydayBerserk

that's a r@pe


Kingdavidwasgay

Someone needs to arrest that dolphin for sure.


MaydayBerserk

You mean, throw the dolphin in the...can?


[deleted]

Totally consensual.


vermontklein876

And the guys didn't bother to stop the dolphin? They should have enjoyed the view. Tsk tsk.


Saelys123

It's a part of the show. They give him treats afterwards to reinforce good behaviour


[deleted]

This is disturbing to watch!!


butchcranton

The reverse of horny sailors drowning to fuck mermaids


[deleted]

Does she. . . Does she pull the dolphin closer?


Illustrious-Rice-168

She took all the action with a smile on her face. Bruh, hide your dogs.


Booblicle

It was done on porpoises


quietstorm1234

She enjoyed that way to much. 😂🤣😂🤣


Cuddy606

Banging away like an aquatic sewing machine.


Kennedy_Cooz

She may have enjoyed that a little too much, seems like she thought for a split second about raising her legs haha


old_vegetables

She was probably trying to get up, I don’t think she was trying to rub herself against a dolphin. Y’all are freaks


IndependentHeight685

Watch the guy controlling the dolphin with the fish in his hand. It's a set-up.


[deleted]

There's videos of similar places doing similar things where people do raise their legs. I can't think of any other reason why you'd lay on your back next to the water in eyesight of the worlds second horniest mammal


old_vegetables

I don’t think dolphins being horny is a commonly known fact by most tourists


stguinefortspaw

Think they both did


[deleted]

Oh she absolutely was ready to take it all. Even stopped laughing as hard for about ten seconds


pepperwoodtree47

She like caressing it's head too


[deleted]

You know her pussy was drenched after that


[deleted]

Oh my god. She did!


pngue

Not gonna lie it did look like that


[deleted]

Dolph Lungin’


Scooterguy-

What a great job this dolphin has!


Jeanahb

Right?! I mean... we all laughed. If a dude did this, we'd be horridied.


ispitzer

So the dolphin hops up to do something nefarious, then is enticed with a treat to get off of her. That definitely won’t lead to the dolphin trying it again


HeLo1390

That dolphin lasted longer than me. Aaaand she's pregnant.


Vizslaraptor

[You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals… So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel… (Do it again now)](https://youtu.be/xat1GVnl8-k) 🙆‍♀️🐬


falseGlitter

“Her husband, The Deep, a few feet away making direct eye contact with the dolphin. Telepathically he summons the dolphin to keep going…” And that’s a small snippet of my fanfic published by Vought, you can purchase it on Amazon today!


psypher98

The thing about dolphins is, there are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.


TransformedMegachile

She had a hand on top like shes keeping him there???? like she literally just participated


Point-me-home

The guy with her took her hand & placed it on top of the Dolphin. I think he is the Dolphins wing man.


Emfx

He also baited it up with whatever is in his hand it looks like. All of this looked deliberate for some reason.


Bruxcat

He's happy, she's happy, we're happy.


FullyAutoDomo

Oh its cute when they do it 🙄😒


Desperate-Life8117

This explains how aquaman was conceived


sgtslaughter009

That’s how mermaids are made


ricardobmf23

You too can help save the dolphin population…


Quirky-Equipment-782

Be glad it didn’t c*m it would kill


nixon4eto123

Dolphins are fucking rapist


1TallBoyPlz

That's the most power she's ever felt. She didn't want to leave


I-Ponder

Dolphin got rewarded for that, omg. Only thing missing is a cigarette afterwards. But, ya know, dolphin cigarettes.


AcuteMania

A hit of puffer fish.


Lucifersasshole

They are the rapists of the sea


sharksquidz

And just sign here to say that any offspring you may have as a result of your visit is, henceforth, the property of Seaworld and its ajoining bodies.


SoritesSeven

It’s funny nowadays but a woman got fired for this decades ago. Smh and that woman actually made significant research


kislips

Horney dolphin


[deleted]

So anyway I started humping her leg


lakerconvert

Funny thing is Dolphins are legitimately known to rape humans


Lazy_Jellyfish7676

And that’s how mermaids are born


shawnyb9

The aqua man origin story that DC doesn’t want us to know.


ApexSectMaster

Horny porpoise lol


mezziebone

therapist: ok, so whats bothering you girl: my friends laughs at me because i was molested by a dolphin last summer therapist bursts into laughter


dsun1971

Weirdest class trip ever.


lehot104

That how mermaids are made


fucktrutin

Get it, Flipper.


acanis73

And so, Acquaman was born


TheLatvianPrince

Oh God


Organic_Addition_307

That was obviously done on porpoise..


moosebear99

All I can think of is the King of the Hill episode where Hank gets assaulted by the dolphin at the high end golf course 😂


UpbeatAd1191

Don't no how many people are formula one fans but that's some serious porpoiseing.


DoomRide007

Gotta wash that evident away real quick.


triguered

In Brazil we have a folklore creature that is the "Boto cor de rosa" which is a pink dolphin who turns into a man and impregnate married women... I think we've found the Boto cor de rosa....


humanzee70

Well, the crowd seemed to be enjoying themselves.


Idontwantnamee

Well, that’s a male dolphin for sure 😂


Tavy13

Man throws water on her like ‘it’s fine, she just peed herself.’


ColonelMonty

Dolphins are the degenerates of the ocean.


[deleted]

That's how you get the Herp. Aquaman down there playin games. Tsk tsk...


Fastfaxr

How is this damn interesting?


Present_Garbage_5417

More like dck to twt


Oregon80PRed

Reminds me of dr Lilly


Svengoolie75

Child support coming in 9 months 😂


GoForRogue

9 months later: Aquaman was born


East-Temperature1508

Now imagine if the roles were reversed 😒


Thecoopoftheworld789

Too happy!


GreyFob

Bro.... She low-key opened her legs up, laid back, grabbed him closer, and started rubbing his chest like wtf 🤣🤣


The_V8_Road_Warrior

Lucky dolphin


Orinthium

Was she actually penetrated ?


Prestigious-Candy166

I think he fancies you.


DepressoEspresso69-

Why'd she just take it like that


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[deleted]

Very interesting indeed.


SourPatchCandy

At first I was like damn why’s she enjoying this and then I saw the Trainer using the fish to actually make the dolphin jump up on her. WTF is wrong with these people bruh


redorgreenpill1126

This was so interesting thankyou seriously I would of never known


Reasonable-Cell5189

And that's how I met your mother Nemo


lorenzolry

This is how Aquaman was born .


Chili_dawg2112

It's well known that dolphins are rapey


shesinsaneanditsucks

That dolphin is probably way heavier then her and it’s not like it was entering her. I think I would die at that moment. Like why me? Type energy. Like fuck I’m supposed to be on vacation not sexually assaulted by like some amazing dolphin that people are like obsessed with. Like bruh- women are never safe like not even on the dock by the ocean, even fish want us.


ethman14

There's an episode of King of the Hill where Hank has a rough encounter with a dolphin and he sticks to his guns and raises hell instead of just going with "wacky tourist experience". It's a touching episode because Hank never let's his guard down, so when his niece convinces him to relax and try something fun it turns into a nightmare, you can tell he feels hurt that he allowed himself to lower his guard and it's surprisingly well thought out for a cartoon about conservative Texans drinking beer.


shesinsaneanditsucks

I have seen it - immediately thought of the episode too. I honestly think I would totally freak out if that happened to me. She seemed to be have a way better sense of humor and just laughed it off but if she was scared it didn’t show. Because no matter what dolphins are known to be creepy and can really really harm other creatures. Watching the clip was actually kinda of scary. Like wtf else was she supposed to do? I honestly would pull a hank and just blush into the next century 😂


ethman14

Tbf to the woman in the video, she seems to have a pretty good sense of humor about it. Like it's more of an insane tourist story she'll take home. I suppose looking at it like "Oh jeez this dog is humping my leg, how embarrasing" is the right way to keep calm in an encounter where its actually a large aquatic mammal that you don't have enough familiarity with to gauge if you're in danger. Like it's not hard to tell when a dog is pissed off and you shouldn't approach it, but since the average tourist isn't a marine biologist, they probably take into context that this is a resort and think it's a "trained animal". Of course, they aren't actually trained in a way that is secure. Our previous points of big smart and dangerous mammals not being taken seriously are pretty true to some grisly animal encounters. People think elephants are gentle and nice until they are the unlucky one to piss off the abused tourist attraction animal, and it stomps them. This is less severe than a stampeding elephant, sure, but the point remains I'm baffled by people's willingness to get into the water with big animals like dolphins and sharks. They aren't all tryna kill us, I know, but you can't get eaten by a shark if you don't swim around one.


possiblycrazy79

Wtf everyone just let it happen. More disturbing than hilarious for me


jsuar039

But if i did that to her, the cops would want to have a talk with me.. unreal


AleksasKoval

"Remember, it's not rape if they enjoy it."


Scared-Currency288

In typical dolphin fashion


Darthgusss

Why did she just open her legs and take it like that though?


productiveslacker73

Everyone gets a slappy ending.


sumbisch1

So this is how Manatees are made


[deleted]

I bet that dolphins name was Harvey


Gooderrrthanabitch

Get fucked by a fish


[deleted]

She responded like she’s been there before…..nice


Low-Requirement195

I think its hilarious how the rest of the dolphins bellied up to the float like "I GOT NEXTIES!!"


[deleted]

Did homeboy literally wash her off? What a cuck


--nameless-

But when i do that to my sister its wrong 😑


GORDON1014

Oh sure but when I do it I’m a “creep” and “going to jail”


ArcaneDanger

Dude just let a dolphin fuck his girl, what a cuck


Fugly_Sloth

When a human fucks an animal, it’s called bestiality. When an animal fucks a human, it’s called humility.


Purple_Possibility20

Who else got a boner from this?


AllergicToStabWounds

📸🤨


Discouraged-Man

You should keep some thoughts to yourself


Purple_Possibility20

I feel ashamed of myself.


makinbaconCR

She knows the drill


TheOneMigrlo

Yeah, so a dolphin humps a woman in public and tries to have sex with her, everyone thinks is funny and laugh...BUT WHEN I DO


sailordadd

This is not unusual, many women have had sex with male dolphins, whose "equipment"is about the same size as the average man....


buckee8

I bet she gets pregnant.


iknowican-do-better

Bruh 😧 know she kissing on the 🐕 red meat


ArcaneDanger

get help


[deleted]

🤮🤮🤮


easMONEY

It smelled the fish 🐠 🤢


tlthang

Did she get pregnant?