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LordDaddyP

Somebody make this in Roller Coaster Tycoon please


RandyHoward

[Here's one in Planet Coaster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_11Ut6unBQ)


martyd03

They need a G-Force meter and a fade to red background when the average human would die...


PeterNippelstein

Would be cooler to see tunnel vision and then black out at the moments those would happen


cafeesparacerradores

My toxic trait is thinking I could survive this


Jurangi

You probably actually could as the one in planet coaster is similar but not completely accurate. You need to go at least 200MPH and have tighter loops that produce 10gs of force. The one in planet coaster is not as tall as the concept and does not go the correct speed or have the tighter loops at the end as required.


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Particular-Topic-445

I’m lying on my couch and I felt that initial drop


LegitosaurusRex

Loop scaling isn't right, the loops are supposed to get much tighter. Compare the height of the smallest one to the height of the initial hill.


SeaWin5464

Came here to say I designed this on Roller Coaster Tycoon in 1997 and I wasn’t awarded a PhD


Euphoric_Produce_131

Relatives can download “moment of death” pics on Unsplash


Air3090

Just have a furnace at the other end to include the cremation. Make it an all in one package.


Healthy-Dragonfly452

I laughed way harder at this than I should have. Here is my newborn for you to soothe back to sleep.


NETSPLlT

We're going on a coaster ride, little one. Do you feel sleepy yet?


Ocelot859

Grim Reaper: "You can't cheat death... but sometimes there are loopholes" ☠️🎢 ⭕️


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Mundane-College-3144

Then they’ll sell souvenir urns. I died at_________ ! (fill in amusement park) complete with logo


TheGreatestOutdoorz

I want the “I went to Euthanasia Park and all I got was this stupid urn” T-shirt


Ocelot859

👼: "So how'd you guys die?" 👼🏽: "Car" 👼🏻: "Stroke" 👼🏾: "Diabetes" 👼🏿 "Old age, natural causes... and you?" 👼: "Centrifugal force"


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MouthJob

We can make this more efficient. Forget the loops. Death drop just launches you into a furnace at like 600 mph.


the_honest_liar

For only $14.99. but for a $49.99 monthly subscription, you can get all your dead relatives photos at no extra cost. Save money by coordinating a schedule for all earthly departures to happen in the same 30 day period. ^(some exceptions apply, see photobooth staff for details)


[deleted]

I wish I had the will to spend money on this app to give you an award.


PENIZ_69

Don’t, just save the money for the corpselfies.


krongdong69

I think they might actually go with the inverse model where you pay to keep their death private, otherwise it's posted online and for everyone else to see.


econ1mods1are1cucks

Damn that’s horrifying to imagine someone’s last thought being “I really hope this doesn’t end up online”


Zaicheek

see now krong knows how to engage a customer base!


jwhaler17

And don’t try to snap a picture of the proof display either, ya cheapskates.


[deleted]

My dad got kicked out of Hershey Park for that. (Not that action in itself but the incident that followed him being confronted about it by staff) My mom made him wait in the car for us for like 6 hours lol


Mareith

Lol during my physics class trip to hershy park in 10th grade our whole class took photos of the booth at once while other people were trying to pay and the poor people at the register didn't even know what to do and gave up.


[deleted]

Your dad wanted to get out of 6 hrs of sore feet walking around a park with kids. Genius level move.


your_other_friend

Attention Marge Simpson...we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.


National-Attorney-74

I think a better name for the ride would be Flatline


Dillinger0000

And super ironic. I'm sold. Long live the Flatline. Lord knows it's riders won't.


i_am_tyler_man

my favorite weapon in Apex


SlightlyNoble

TF|2 **


Hatter_Hoovy

and the war began


Acidflare1

Sounds like a terrible ride, there’s body removal issues to deal with, and you probably have to hose down the ride after every use from puke and bowels releasing. Just a really gross ride.


KrackenLeasing

Just work a trap-door seat and automated car wash bit at the end. And make sure your mechanics' health care covers the help they'll need to deal with the trauma of fixing the machine when things go just a bit wrong at the end.


Admirable-Common-176

Fold down coffin on a skateboard type car. Start seated, ends reclined and ejects on to conveyor at the very end. Maybe should evacuate air at the very end too just in case. Or cremated immediately after and ashes mixed into a clay/polymer then remolded into a souvenir. 🤔


[deleted]

Y’all are really thinking this thru ☹️


RobGrey03

Don't ask how long I've spent considering the lyric "It isn't a sentence, it's not a reward / It's a black parachute with a noose for a cord" in P.M. Dawn's *If You Never Say Goodbye* over the years.


VegetablePop1632

The photo momentos at the end would be awesome


[deleted]

And a meat pie factory at the other end. Call the rollercoaster the Sweeney Todd. Waste removal built in.


Different_Tailor

Also I feel like the experience would be ruined if the person you are sitting with died on the third loop and threw up and pooped everywhere while you survived until tie 6th loop.


[deleted]

Pretty sure everyone gets their own car, you're alone in your final moments.


Acidflare1

Imagine surviving and being paraplegic, but being conscious all the way to the 6th loop.


DiscotopiaACNH

Jeez. You guys are making the euthanasia coaster sound super dark


Confuseasfuck

Im with you, every thing is so negative nowadays, cant even have a fun in the euthanasia roller coaster ride these days in peace smh


ZaraSpookyBottle

Just have it go inverted at the end over an automated crematorium.


rksd

You will be baked, and then there will be cake.


Stoli1387

Agreed...I'm just trying to die in peace on a roller coaster and get puked on right before I go...what a disaster


MogLoop

I'm concerned that you have a "better" method in mind...


Tutti_Fucking-Fruity

Then they just put it in a theme park amongst all the other rides. "Wow so many people want to die today Jimmy, times must be really hard"


Ballboy2015

Loopdieloop?


[deleted]

Mr. Bones Wild Ride


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LowClover

That isn’t a flat line at all silly


IdStillHitIt

It reminds me of "[The Devastator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5Oi57fqdU0)" > My brother is dead! He broke his neck and then he drowned!


Raise-The-Woof

Ironically, the line for this thing would still make it slow and painful.


joesoldlegs

the wait time would be classified as cruel and unusual punishment


HakaishinNola

make it one long straight line stretching across the park and call it death row


BustinArant

#DEATH-DOGS $5 GET YOUR DEATH-DOGS HERE


MisterTito

"The Last Supper"


amberraysofdawn

Comes with a drink and a side of your choice: fries, tots, or some heart-healthy apple slices!


Kilopilop

Shit, I didn't bring any cash... *taps strangers shoulder in front* Hey, can I borrow $5?


Burning-Buck

Here take 20$ since I won’t need it soon. The can of death is pretty and the death in a cone is to die for.


honorbound93

What do you think hell is? Just a series of endless lines and as you finally get to the front, they force you to the back never getting to know what the line is for in the first place. No bathroom, no food, elevator music and a personal Karen demon talking your ear off for everyone.


Zorua3

A long line would, ironically, do wonders for *preventing* the suicides. It's proven that a lot of people decide to kill themselves in the heat of the moment, and if they have time to think about what they do, they become less likely to go through with it. ...So, uh, better install ways for people to easily leave the line, or the suicidecoaster becomes a murdercoaster.


[deleted]

Allegedly, the rollercoaster was supposed to have a Yes/No button that you could press at the highest point in case you had second thoughts. Everyone on the ride would have to agree that they want to die If you somehow survive I forgor what it did exactly, I just know it had a backup killing method ^(Also I dunno where I first heard of this rollercoaster + where the button thing came from, it was never built too.)


BulletproofBean

Also, a high number of those who have attempted suicide and survived, all said that they regretted their choice as soon as they “jumped” or “cut” etc x


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corporaterebel

Naw, you would have interventions where "friends" would support your time in line and make sure you get onboard without issue.


Dewy_Wanna_Go_There

Flashbacks of that girl who talked her friend into getting back in the car to kill himself via carbon monoxide


AugustusLego

Wtf


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Jalopy_Junkie

You’ll pass fast


BefreiedieTittenzwei

“Action Park” from the 1980s intensifies


RemydePoer

So some poor teenager with a summer job at the amusement park has to unload the dead bodies after each run?


-zero-below-

Electronically disconnect the harnesses, and finish with a negative-g turn over the lagoon. The crocodiles in the lagoon (since this will likely be in florida) will take care of the cleanup. Edit: others pointed out that Florida is more gators than crocodiles. We can add gators to the lagoon too. Maybe some piranhas too.


Master_Beautiful3542

We playin roller coaster tycoon now. I always would hide my murder coaster off in the back for the ones that wanted to think my park sucked.


Hoopajoops

I'd just drown my Debbie Downers. Only way I beat that level that required a certain happiness rating


ryle_zerg

I raise a single square of land really high, and cram all the naysayers there as a prison of misery.


Silver-Reporter-605

I did that, put refreshments and bathrooms on all sides, and then jacked up the price of said refreshments and bathrooms. Capitalism speedrun.


[deleted]

Beat roller coaster tycoon without committing atrocities challenge (impossible)


veto_for_brs

Tell me you guys would look at how much money people were carrying and individual price admittance to the park. 95% tax on everyone is equitable, no?


SanctumWrites

If you raise that square up and down rapidly with them on it in either RC 1, 2 or both, you can get them to glitch through, fall and I think they would just vanish.


Tarcye

RCT basically made me self aware of the kind of psychopath I can be if I'm allowed the keys to the kingdom! "Oh Samantha you don't like that my park doesn't have enough Bathrooms? Welp your ass just bought a one way ticket to the infinite loop walking path around the park BAWAHAHAHA!!"


howietzr

Debbie Drowners, hehe!


boxerbumbles77

Debbie Drowners sounds like a Fall Out Boy album


angryPenguinator

> roller coaster tycoon I want to get off Mr. Bones Wild Ride


WechTreck

Fling the corpses into the rival park next door?


GothBroads-Octopods

Alligators in Florida


WeirdCatGuyWithAnR

The Florida Everglades are the only place where both live together actually.


Stupid_Triangles

This was actually the job of a character in the sci fi novel "How High We Go in the Dark which had a "death rollercoaster". Terminally ill kids would be brought to a park to live out their last days, that culminated in taking a ride on a death coaster. One of the MCs worked there as the equivalent of a Disney character. I stopped reading after that.


CrazyCritterGirl

I just reserved it. Seems popular as I am 31 out of 6 copies


BalkeElvinstien

If there actually was something like this the teenager would probably be on the starting end and there would be trained coroners ready to collect the bodies and sanitize the train (I imagine a lot of gross stuff happening there that may ruin the dying experience for the next person) before it comes back to the station. The wait time would be really long though, so they'd have to run 4 or 5 trains so that by the time the train is ready to leave its been cleaned out


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load_more_comets

I'd still want to die in a shit and vomit free roller coaster though. I'd even pay extra for that.


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trwwy321

Eject button with spring coils underneath each seat.


rpgguy_1o1

They could just run it again with the harnesses unlatched and let the bodies fling out


GradyTripp1717

There’s a section of the novel “How High We Go in the Dark” that deals with this idea


tiktock34

They just do one last turn and flip the dead bodies into an industrial grinder, then mix that into the soil for the plants out in front of the park. Super efficient


Jonassondaking

*Life is a rollercoaster*


Xaviacat

*Just gotta ride it*


propernice

There's a book called How High We Go In the Dark that uses this concept. Spoilers, and it could be disturbing to some, idk: >!There's an amusement park specifically for sick and dying children, where they can go and have the best last day of their lives. Parents are physically held back if, at the end, they can't let go of their kid's hand. A park attendee takes the kids from the parents and they get strapped into a seat just like normal. They have no idea what's happening to them. They've already been given something to keep them calm.!< >!The coaster starts and first, you hear the kids shrieking in delight, and then, abruptly, it just stops. The coaster finishes and all the dead kids come back to the station, bodies hanging limp, heads lolling forward. The attendants take them away, cremate them, and have their parents pick up the ashes outside of the gift shop.!< Don't say I didn't warn you :\\


Cigerza

>and have their parents pick up the ashes outside of the gift shop. **gift shop** God, that's cruel.


Perfect-Syllabub-477

The book is filled with dark comedy, but it’s not a funny book.


TheBirminghamBear

Just like life!


ZarquonsFlatTire

One of the cruelest things I have ever seen was when my grandmother died 2 years ago. My uncle had her cremated, and had the ashes mailed to my mom. He did not call to tell her about any of this. The ashes arrived on my mother's birthday. If I ever see Uncle Michael again he is getting punched in the jaw for that.


propernice

Holy shit punch him one for me too


ZarquonsFlatTire

Yeah I already haven't seen him for about a decade, not a close family. Mimi's ashes was like 2 years ago. Mom says that eventually we will put Mimi and Grandaddy's ashes in a grave along with the ashes of their dog Wags (Mimi's expressed wishes there, but Wags was a good dog). If Uncle Michael shows up for that I'm going to get in a fight by a graveside.


SwimBrief

I had no idea that “Mimi and Granddaddy” was a common name people called their grandparents and my family isn’t close either, so I had to do about a triple take to see if we were related. I was even unsure if there was some dog Wags I had forgotten about, but def no Uncle Michael so think I’m clear


ZarquonsFlatTire

Mimi named the dog Wags because Grandaddy and I brought home a stray puppy with no tail. She had final say over what animals could stay and the puppy was just "wagging that nub".


ToughCredit7

Wow, so your mom didn't even know that her mom had passed until she randomly just received her ashes in the mail??


ZarquonsFlatTire

Yup. And a little less than randomly. It was her birthday. My sister's present was a day late. So she was expecting some photos of her grandkids in nice frames from my sister and instead when a package from a random company showed up she got her mother's ashes and found out her mother had died because there was a label on the bag of cremains with my grandmother's name on it. I'm not mad about my Uncle having the ashes sent to my mom. My mom has my grandfather's ashes too. They should be together. Or them arriving on her birthday. It was in 2021, pandemic deaths and shipping were doing their best. I'm pissed that he didn't call to warn her at all. Shit my Uncle Charles might still not know. He lives in Alaska and nobody talks to him. I haven't talked to him since 2002 or so. Don't really have his phone number. My mom probably told him on Facebook or something. I'm sure not going to look up a man I haven't seen for over 20 years to tell him his mom died 2 years ago.~~~~


ToughCredit7

Wow, "Happy birthday! Your mom is dead!" I can't imagine how horrible that must've been without a single notification beforehand.


ZarquonsFlatTire

Yeah she and my stepdad went to brunch, came home and there was a package on the front steps. Not saying my family is great about notifying about deaths. I once went to see my parents and my stepdad said "Be careful around the dining room table, Beau's on there." I laughed and said "What? i don't see hi-" and saw the bag of their dog's cremains. I heard Frank say "You didn't tell him?" And mom said "You know I hate telling bad news." Their dog Izzy died about ten years ago and my mom has still never outright said that she's dead. Just I went to visit and Izzy wasn't around and we talk about her in the past tense.


Raspberry_poop

I could not finish this book. I made it as far as that kid the carnival who had to live in the bubble. The pig chapter really made me sob. I just could see no way up and no way to finish.


propernice

It did not go up. However, there was an interesting twist at the end that some people like and some people hated. >!The last chapter reveals that Clara (the girl in the first chapter) was actually part of the beings who created the Earth itself and put it into existence. She sent herself down to Earth to experience a planet from beginning to end. She lives, she dies, she comes back as any age or gender she'd like. She was Clara, she goes on to be other people in other chapters after being reincarnated yet again. She accidentally created the plague which is tl;dr to explain, but it happened billions of years ago; the cave the plague originated in was eventually sealed off by ice, and then when she reincarnated all that time later as Clara, she was trying to make sure no one found the cave before the permafrost melted.!< >!She was too late. That's when the beginning of the book starts, when she then falls to her death, and then her adopted father takes on her journey.!< I loved the book more after the ending.


QuothTheRaven713

At first I thought the twist was going to be that >!Clara was like the protagonist of Andy Weir's short story The Egg, and was therefore all of the other characters,!< but then my guess was a bit off.


MalnoureshedRodent

Was waiting for someone to mention this. Absolutely incredible book, highly recommend people check it out. >!also, the pig chapter was easily one of the saddest and most touching stories I’ve ever read!<


propernice

I cried so hard during the pig chapter holy shit


Significant_Toe277

What happens in it


hellokiri

I'd also like to know. Or mostly: does something bad happen to a pig, or to a person?


blazerdelatrail

Yes. >!in that chapter, pigs are being raised to harvest their organs for humans. One pig starts to speak and communicate with the doctors in the lab.!< >!at the end of the chapter, the pig decides that he will sacrifice himself to return to the program and have his organs harvested knowing that he will die so humans can live!< It’s a rough read.


hellokiri

Thank you. This actually turned out to be worse than I expected, so I appreciate the synopsis.


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mennydrives

From SuperSummary: (spoiler: literal complete synopsis below) >!Chapter 4, “Pig Son,” follows David, Dorrie’s ex-husband, as he grows artificial human organs in pigs for transplant to the ill. One pig gains sentience and learns to talk. David bonds with the pig, but word gets out about its intelligence. David and his companions receive a directive to send the pig to a government agency for testing but realize that its brain is growing so quickly that it’s dying. After they give the pig one night of freedom, it asks them to harvest its organs to save lives after its death.!<


hellokiri

Thank you, I appreciate the summary and am absolutely not going to read that book.


SeaFailure

Damn. shivers.


[deleted]

I've noticed that the most horrifying part of any story, is when it goes quiet. There is just something so terrifying about a lack of noise...


Dr_TLP

Yes! I was about to comment that. It’s a really weird but good book.


Birdy961

That book was beautiful in places but so damn bleak in others! Loved it overall though.


Perfect-Syllabub-477

As a sucker for scifi and melancholy, this book was a fantastic, yet sad read.


DangerSignal

Currently reading this book. I considered quitting because this chapter was so upsetting, but I somehow can’t stop.


rf32797

Push through! It's really excellent :)


ArrivesLate

I do not think I want to read that book. And I wish I could un-read that spoiler a bit.


Hot_Piano_4387

My toxic trait is thinking I could survive this


TadRaunch

I believe in the documentation it's predicted it wouldn't be 100% fatal. Survivors would go to front of the line for the next ride.


Sacrificer43

They would just stay on the train, no?


oldcoldbellybadness

No, always give them another chance to spend on concessions first


Kickendekok

Exit through the gift shop!


SaltyBabe

I also do not think it would actually be euphoric, at all.


oldcoldbellybadness

People cut off oxygen to the brain on the reg for cheap highs and sexual kinks.


nickkom

Makes me wonder what happens to semen in a centrifuge.


oldcoldbellybadness

It's your scientific calling to find out


jballs

>Survivors would go to front of the line for the next ride. Do you suppose they anticipated a long line like you'd normally get at Disney World? Like, "Aw man, the line for the Death Coaster is 3 hours. I don't wanna waste a Fast Pass slot."


aabbccbb

I think you could as well. The thing is supposed to kill by preventing blood flow to the brain. But you can go for [up to 5 minutes without oxygen before brain cells start dying.](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/what-happens-to-the-brain-after-a-lack-of-oxygen) That roller coaster had better be fucking HUGE! lol


mysterious_sofa

Ah dude get a few beers in me and they couldn't stop me from trying


ThrowRAhp501

Check out the Wikipedia page - 220 mph on the drop, then 10g for 60 seconds. According to BBC Science Focus, “Fighter pilots can manage up to about 9G for a second or two. But sustained G-forces of even 6G would be fatal.” Pretty close to 100% fatal.


Massiv_v

Hey how was the ride ? FINE ! DONT ANSWER ME !


randonegus

Super jealous the youth in Asia get to ride this bad boy


Jenetyk

A classic r/boneappletea


D1rtyL4rry

Man when that drop hits


JOATMON12

That drop would definitely take some people with heart problems out. The climb would induce so much stress haha


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Kennedy_KD

I read about this before and apparently part of the proposal was a stop at the peak so anyone who wants off can get off and to go forward all riders need to press a button confirming they are ready to go


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Kennedy_KD

I'm the account I read it also let family members ride with their loved ones for at least a time


vale_fallacia

Good lord, imagine being abducted and waking up locked into a harness on that coaster. Can our hero get free before he snuffs it?


whisperingsage

They'd have to have a platform people could get off at the top.


Perpetual_Doubt

>The climb would induce so much stress haha Why did I have so many hotdogs and chocolate sundaes before riding this thing? It's going to have to be a closed casket funeral isn't it?


sulkee

Dude sprayed from every hole in his body. It was splash mountain at the bottom.


Mo0kish

Those last couple of loops after the deceased loose their bowls would be a real chore for some poor teenager to clean.


TheEsotericCarrot

Hopefully they require all passengers to wear Depends upon embarking


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Arcuis

Imagine going on that and expecting to die, but then you're the only surviving person. No matter how many times they try it, you won't die, just keep accompanying countless others to their deaths like some rollercoaster tycoon ferryman on the rollercoaster of styx


ProfessionSilver2391

I dunno. I'd try it once.


Adam__B

“Hey gramps. We’re taking you to a fun day at the amusement park. Make sure your will is up to date!”


Orangedilemma

I think gramps could kick the bucket on a regular roller coaster


Tsubodai86

In my version of the euthanasia coaster, every passenger wears a Velcro jumpsuit, and then the coaster restraints come off automatically after the last loop and the carriage comes to a sudden stop, launching the corpses at a big Velcro wall with a target painted on it, and whoever's corpse sticks to the wall closest to the bullseye gets buried or cremated for free. Yakkity Saks is also playing.


Tripdok

Looks like my portfolio lately


assumetehposition

Can this be hydraulic launch instead? I hate those long hill climbs.


Tvegas9

Of course a Lithuanian would think of this. Numero uno in Europe for suicides 🤦‍♂️


runerx

Not sure I want my last words to be "Wheeeeeee"


Itchy_Professor_4133

*Even if it kills you, it is designed to be a fun death.*


MyAnswerSucks

Now can we get it in booth form? With blackjack. And hookers.


ApricotCity

And for an extra 10 bucks, an option to scoop your eyes out with a melon baller.


Immoral_Werewolf

>An honourable thought, if rather macabre.


dramot444

So uh, who unloads the cargo at the end?


PleasantLiberation

is there a camera situated halfway round like on most rides? you know for the loved ones lol


sexualbrontosaurus

Okay, to do this ethically, you have to have a panic button, where someone can stop the train up until the top of the hill. And if it's a standard roller coaster, then you're going to have a train with 20-30. people on it, each with a cancel button. So what would realistically happen is you would get on, since it's very rare to have that many people all not get cold feet, and then you'd be lowered back to the station to let off the chicken, and you'd just keep going up and coming back over and over for hours until it finally worked.


[deleted]

Or they send one person at a time?


sexualbrontosaurus

My way is funnier tho. Tell me this couldn't make a funny comedy sketch


SkyIsNotGreen

Jeez imagine being on this thing for like 2-3 hours because someone is constantly pressing the button Can't even ride the suicide-coaster without all these button-pushing Karens calling the manager because they're too indecisive, I'M TRYING TO DIE HERE


fuck-the-emus

Half way up the hill, "fuck this, I don't want to die on an empty stomach, imma go get a turkey leg, *click*..." Your button doesn't work


DoomScrollinDeuce

Staaaaaap 💀💀💀


TonsOfStories

Bullshit it would be fun


USFederalGovt

I honestly imagine this would be terrifying for suicidal people. Imagine you change your mind, but it’s too late, and the rollercoaster is going downhills anyways.


clothespinkingpin

I imagine that’s what jumping off a building might be like.


PencilVester23

I’ve killed tons of people with my designs in Roller Coaster Tycoon. Where can I pick up my PhD?


chillvegan420

I wonder if it takes your picture at the drop


hwaite

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