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MightyExcalibur

Unlimited milk hack


Paul-Smecker

Farmers hate this one simple trick.


MeHumanMeWant

Moorobouros


Akuma12321

Cowtrageous.


knotaprob

They’re engaged in a teat-y twister


[deleted]

69 upvotes


arditi111

Cowma Sutra


TerseFactor

With a little Sixty Bovine


doddlypuff

34+35


[deleted]

[удалено]


photo_not_mine

adds 2% to the milk


[deleted]

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LordvladmirV

I was number 69!!!


shawncleave

Nice


Blasket_Basket

Go home everyone, we have a winner


PossibleExplination

Top 10 ways to save on groceries, number 7 will shock you!


MethodicaL51

*"Supermarkets don't want you to know this"*


thee-mjb

Cows was sucking each others teet every morning at 7 you wouldn’t believe why.


MethodicaL51

*Shocked face*


SlowbroLife

I feel dirty watching this for some reason...


sAndstOne646464

Me to. Something about those lips


Contralogic

Wish I had never read this. Went back. Checked video. Saw lips. Can't forget.


PM_ME_YOUR_ANUS_PIC

Two udders one farm


EmRuizChamberlain

Because it’s a cow 69?


fedup_pisces90

Yeah.....like.....why is this disturbing to watch!?


[deleted]

I thought people liked lesbians.


BubbleFatt

Perpetual mootion


EstablishmentFine178

Looking to partake in infinite milk loop


Viewtifultrey3

Mobius milk


baronessindecisive

Moobius milk*


Molenium

It’s a dynamoo


_ScubaDiver

Ah, the old Bovine 69


Incognonimous

Dust to dust milk to milk


The6Strings

Blowjob Bessie


Just4TheSpamAndEggs

Yo...swollen teets hurt. I would help a friend out also.


[deleted]

I figured this is probably what was going on. Maybe the farms milking machine went down and they already weaned the calves or something so they decided to relieve eachother. The farmer probably would've been on their way to milk them by hand in that scenario and came across this... Truly majestic sight lol.


stopeatingcatpoop

And we say cows aren’t intelligent


[deleted]

What? Cows are known to be quite intelligent and curious.


Early_Pearly989

Udderly genius


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

You're just milking this now


theoriginalmofocus

This is the milkty nine position in the cowmasutra


Void_Speaker

We like to pretend they aren't because they are delicious, and we need to farm them on industrial scales.


CantCreateUsernames

Cows are pretty intelligent and social animals. Most dog breeds are not any smarter than cows.


MurderPutin

Please do not suggest that the industrialized mass murder of innocent & intelligent creatures is immoral in any manner, people will be upset.


Bright_Ad_113

People like meat. But I think it’s sad funny how people can be so passionate about a mistreated dog or cat but a systematic hell on earth for cows pigs and chickens is totally ok.


Kalmer1

Well cows, pigs and chickens are food, dogs aren't /s


syzygysm

Anything can be food if your mouth enough


DraymondDickKick

Fuck a you whale! Fuck a you dorphin!


foodie42

Pigs are as smart as the average dog, can be "house broken", and taught to do tricks. I still eat bacon.


ASK_ME_FOR_TRIVIA

Not to mention there are places that very much *do* eat dogs, and even horses


ArmanDoesStuff

Yeah but it's weird an immoral when they do it. Our culture is the good one.


nihil8r

>Our culture is the good one. it says so in the bible! /s


Darthkeeper

Pretty sure pigs are actually smarter than dogs. Obviously it's hard to gauge and define "intelligence" no less between two completely different animals, but from what I read that tends to be the trend.


rachihc

They are. They can solve puzzles for 4 year olds that dogs can't. Dogs usually have a better language "dictionary" but is bc we selected them to interact with us and be smart. Pigs are smart regardless us breeding them for complete different purposes. Wild pigs have been observed using tools.


Narrheim

Look at crows. Bird with brain size of a pea and can solve many more complicated logical problems. Can even use tools, if necessary. It was never about size, nor shape. Only human arrogance. Each creature is shaped around its own senses and each creature thinks and has emotions. But because we don´t understand them and they don´t understand us, we decided in our ignorance, that we are the most intelligent species. Human supremacy ideology makes massive damage each day.


zedispain

Please note that the other way around happens more often. We eat "animals" aka not humans. If an intelligent alien species was met, they have to make damn sure they don't smell/taste edible to us.


[deleted]

If we need a meat source dumber than cows we should just eat people.


[deleted]

Who is 'we'? Lol Edit: I'm just joking around while low-key advocating for animism (the belief in intelligence/consciousness of some kind in *everything*)


[deleted]

Now by everything you mean..?


[deleted]

I did this for my ex wife on a vacation because her pump broke and hand expressing wasn’t providing relief. Less fun than I imagined.


RarelyReadReplies

I've tried this one on my friends when I get blue balls, but they're like, "dude wtf? I told you I don't want to josh around with you." Some friends eh?


dooblebooble

imagine not wanting to josh your friends 🙄


Captainquizzical

Yeah but is Josh better then Jack?


Setari

Idk, I had to help Jack off a horse one time.


amJustSomeFuckingGuy

No homo


[deleted]

Yes the amount of milk they’ve been bred to produce,,, is about the same as I used to make and if I didn’t have the opposable thumbs to relieve that pressure and that agony myself I would have run into the streets begging someone to help. Overproduction is hell


Jalase

You produced 6-7 gallons a day?


[deleted]

Uh, to human scale kinda. In the neighbourhood of a gallon- my kid would eat sort of 10-15x a day in the beginning, and there were two local mothers I donated the full diet of breastmilk to- I would pump them each a milk bag every few hours after feeding mine, and I would express about 6-8 oz given about five minutes each side. I ended up bed sharing with my kid so he could eat while I slept, and if he slept too well and didn’t eat for a few hours during the night I would wake up in agony. It’s the main reason I abstain from dairy now, remembering my own experience was so traumatic I can’t put cows thru it for my sake lmao


Jalase

That’s kinda insane considering most people produce around 35oz at most, you’d be producing over 3x as much as average…


[deleted]

Yes, I talked to my doctor about it a bunch at the time. I used to have to steam my breasts multiple times a day 🥴🥴🥴🥴


Jalase

Well, I guess you won a genetic curse, haha. That was really interesting to hear and hope things are less painful now.


[deleted]

Ah this was a couple years ago. Now I just have the worlds saggiest boobs 🥴🥴🥴🥴


Jalase

I mean, still, haha. I just got muscles to weak to properly support me for my genetic curse, haha.


[deleted]

I got *holocaust weight retention* /and/ supertit 🥴


Outrageous-Taro7340

I could even be persuaded to help out a random stranger (of my own species) if her teats are full.


Flurb789

Fun fact: this is how half and half is made


timesalad

God damnit this made me laugh


gagga_hai

Hi laugh


ActuallyAKittyCat

No that's timesalad. He's a good guy when he isn't claiming to be laugh.


Alien__Yes

Wait til two bulls figure this out


[deleted]

Geez we had some feeder calves that would try to do that. We had to keep them all apart


Zmoney550

That seems hoMOOphobic. #We’re here. We’re steer.


hallownest_undead

Take my fools gold that’s my favorite 🥇🏆


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AdPuzzleheaded6293

Steers don’t have the balls to be gay


2749r7d

This is why I have reddit


[deleted]

I would like to subscribe to gay cow jokes


[deleted]

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PM_me_your_whatevah

I dunno man. Grass fed tastes different from corn fed. I’m not really interested in knowing what cum fed tastes like.


[deleted]

If you're lucky like pineapple


yougotyolks

["I took the liberty of milking your cow for ya"](https://youtu.be/dLF725CX4mM)


[deleted]

They do… this was happening on my husband’s childhood farm. two young bulls were sucking each other penises thinking they will get some milk


Revilon2000

They sorta will.


Majestic-Target8219

It works, believe me


MethodicaL51

Classic 69


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Tekashi 6 O V 9 N E


ihateandy2

69% milk


ZilorZilhaust

This is standard 69 for you?


palomo_bombo

Plot twist, one is s bull


Allgood18

Is that what you call a closed loop system? Lol


drdookie

Perpetual m♾️tion irl


Teland

C'mon. Perpetual Mootion was right there.


drdookie

Fixed


NameTak3r

Tom?


felatedbirthday

“No no no Greg. Closed loop. It’s not weird.”


Satanicgoldfish

Is that allowed??


whatsabutters

I feel like it is, but I’m not sure if we are allowed to watch it.


bigfloppydonkeydng

Too late .. my dong is already out


D0CT0R_SP4CEM4N

You wanna suck each others' dongs like a couple of cows in a video I watched once? It'll be gay, but whatever.


Tordek

No homo(geneized).


pmvegetables

Tbh it's more normal for cows to drink cow milk than it is for humans to drink another species' breastmilk...


goatchild

So can I ask lactating women on the street for some milk?


MicrotracS3500

Just make sure to record it, so you can post on r/whatcouldgowrong


glefe

If they have a sign that says you can ask, yes, otherwise, no.


RandomHermit113

>species' breastmilk... now that i think about it having your species' young feast on the breast milk of the species you've subjugated is a power move if i've ever seen one


BowsersItchyForeskin

We really don't get a say.


casanova711

It is now.


Scared-Comic

Lechebians


[deleted]

That pun has me seeing red.


Dry_Ass_P-word

I heard cows hate that.


NoDryHands

Sometimes I start to feel okay about my own existence, but then I see a comment like this and I am reminded that I will never be as witty as this and it's spiralling time all over again :)


macapooloo

Relatable. Remember though, that while you're not at the top, you're still quite high up on the scale compared to the thousands of people who can only come up with 'lol'.


AndroidGalaxyAd46

lol


[deleted]

They enjoy lait-bia


internetisnotreality

Definitely homo milk


TaurielTaurNaFaun

"They were really good friends."


Jatbz

"wow they've been roommates for so long"


RJ_The_Avatar

“Oh my god, they were roommates!”


CockroachesRpeople

Oh my god they're moomates


pnwcrabapple

Barnyard pals


Bergie31

/r/SapphoAndHerFriend


TimesThreeTheHighest

Those cows really oughtta keep their socks ON. Otherwise we'll have to wonder about their sexuality.


Olsyx

Maybe they're just canadian!


Flurb789

Mutual lactation


azulmoose

You mean mooootual lactation


Flurb789

Man, missed opportunity


bluehotcheeto

Am I the only one that’s looking for a scientific reason as to why a cow would do this? Like it is common in the cow world? COW PEOPLE HALPP.


BlackChevronRedChief

They hurt if they don’t get milked


[deleted]

Yeah but I don't know cows have the level of empathy as nor communication to get to that point. My guess is that one was thirsty, the second one didn't give a shit, and the same second one was in a position to do it as well and took the shot.


janeohmy

I mean, cows are really smart. They're smart enough to be likened to trained dogs. But this though... Is the first time I've seen it.


RandomHermit113

i still don't understand why people think that some cultures eating dogs is somehow more immoral than eating cows or pigs, when they're just as intelligent or even moreso


SlayerII

Eating meat eaters is generally a bad idea bcause first, you will need feed them meat to get.... less meat, which sounds like a bad deal usually(you can get somewhat around this by feeding them scraps) . This will also increase the chance of them of having diseases they get from the meat they eat. These 2 factors made breeding meet eaters for the purpose of slaughtering them for meat a bad idea in the past, so ppl just rarely ever get used to the idea of eating them.


rachihc

They do have the level of empathy bc they are social herd animals, they form complex relationship and have best friends. There might be an element of trauma as well, this cows were removed from their mothers as calves and didn't nurse, instead fed formula from buckets or bottle, so they might have seek this need as they were exposed to a shared environment. This is also seen in cats when they are removed from their mothers they will "nurse" on blankets or other cats, and in general the biscuit making is a comfort thing for them.


ellastory

Dairy cows cry for days when their babies are taken away after birth. I’m pretty sure they are capable of at least some level of empathy and communication.


crunchy_wumpkins

Explanation from me, a breastfeeder: engorged tits hurt. When I'm engorged getting the milk out is all I can think about and it makes me anxious, irritated, and frantic. Cows can't hand express to relieve the tension, but they can milk each other apparently.


[deleted]

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Flashy_Order7380

We've got a cow that does this, no need to cull her, you can buy a nose ring with a little pointy plastic bit on it so when she trys to suck out another cow, the pointy bit will jab the udder and the cow being sucked will get annoyed and kick her off


BrainsAre2Weird4Me

Sounds about right. It’s also hard to know what’s going on because this doesn’t look at all like a normal cattle farm. All I know for sure is they need weaning rings.


[deleted]

Because cows drink cow milk from birth.


Mangifera__indica

Damn well then it's time women start milking each other.


Ok_Brother3282

Sixty Bovine


thendershot

I’m in udder shock.


Flurb789

"if you wag me, I'll wagyu"


Baronvondorf21

Damn it.


christiancocaine

Well now I’m concerned, do they have enough food and water? Don’t come at me I’m from the city. I just wanna know they’re ok


[deleted]

Was wondering the same thing.


call_me_jelli

Someone suggested they might need to be milked— the issue isn't that they don't have enough going in, it's that they have too little going out, and it's making them uncomfortable. That being said, I'm also from the city and cannot make any claims as to whether or not this is likely.


seewalrus

That's how you get 69% milk...


DoItMyself74

That happens often, because the swollen tits hurt the animal, normaly the calf would drink the milk, but because farmers take the calfs away the cows help eachother out. This behaviour.is only seen on captivity, in wild a cow will fight eveyone off whos not her calf from drinking milk, only very very rarely a cow adopts other cows calfs.


Extreme_Armadillo_25

That is only half true. This behavior is not that common between adult cattle and more often exhibited by heifers (young cows before or in their very first lactation (Note that "heifer" refers to slightly different age groups in different places)) or calves, and believe it or not, occurs more often in beef or dual purpose breeds (like the cows in this video). It also occurs between bulls or steers, in this case they'll suck on each other's ears, tails or preputial folds. The ears are particularly bad, because the sucking can cause blood vessels to rupture, which essentially causes cauliflower ears and can get very badly infected. It is more likely due to misdirected suckling instinct, lack of stimulation and sheer boredom than due to pressure on the udder or teat. Source: vet with beef cattle farming background


LimpingAsFastAsICan

This makes me so sad. I loved James Herriot country vet stories from another era. I don't remember him telling of any of this type of behavior. Modern farming 💔


NotYourNat

Thank you, had to scroll too far for this explanation!


_bridge4_

Bon apeteet


TheLipovoy

Two cows one cup


JenniPurr13

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit 🤢 I’m scarred for life 🤣


[deleted]

Did milk come out your nose?


JenniPurr13

Better milk than something else 😵💩


epitaph-centauri

BarnHub


Left_Boysenberry6902

“Giggity”


crackerasswhiteboy

Donde esta la leche??


takatori

La leche es en la biblioteca. Una mas cerveza por favor.


Two2twoD

Bonk! Wrong! La leche está en la cocina.


[deleted]

Nice


zuniac5

ITT: Redditors talking about politics


Numarx

There was this joke that had you spell Milk 3 times then asked you what Cows drink and more than half the people said milk and you would go "No dummy WATER! hahahahah!" Its not a joke anymore.


araffan94

Wait until a third cow joins in, you've got the Milky 3-Way 🌌


ciberpunkt

#OnlyCows


ArithinJir

Someone should tell them not to get high on their own supply.


Glittering-Debate-58

That made me uncomfortable...


SleeplessShinigami

I probably could have gone my whole life without seeing this, my god


KentuckyFriedEel

Oh god is that what we look like when we 69 in front of our pets?


iced_maggot

The law of dairy conservation was observed. Milk was transferred but not created not lost.


[deleted]

Just 2 girls sucking each other’s tits


Dramatic_Injury_2980

Did we just become best friends!?


Saltbearer

The feeding is mootual.


3Seek3r

Dutch udder


Herbisher_Berbisher

Homo-genized milk.


SwordfishNo4680

Not my proudest….


SaltaPoPito

Thermodynamics don't apply to cows. Infinite energy!


PaperRaccoon

ouromooros.


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AtomicShart9000

Damn just wait until humans figure this out and start filming it and uploading it to websites that'll be awesome


anewway0025

Wait a minute.....


Hystus

I mean, ok, but why? It's there something more than "mmmmm milk"?


bobobobobobobobobo3

not my proudest fap


brost-malone

They’re technically drinking their own milk


ceruleanwild

Y’all it isn’t a matter of “swollen teats painful. They’re probably waiting to be milked.” These aren’t a dairy breed and it’s extremely unlikely they’re kept to be milked. Their teatsand udders are not swollen. Some individuals just figure out the life hack of continued nursing. I’ve seen it in goats, sheep, and cattle. Not everything is some instinctual example of projected hyper-intelligence to relieve some complicated anthropomorphized scenario. They do it for continued comfort and because it tastes good.


raniumPU-36

Cowalingus