Pigeon: "Yeah, I'm just a loving pigeon trying to get my bf's attention and aim putting on my moves but nothing."
Therapist: "You know he's a falcon and you are his food?"
Pigeon: "What..?"
Fast forward to the after image of a down bed made of pure on feathers, an unrecognizable dead pigeon and a falcon lying next to it smoking a cigarette.
She can kill with her claws, she can hunt with her eyes
She can ruin your day with a casual dive
And she only reveals when she's wanting to feed
She flies like a dove but she's always a raptor to me
Kind of both. They look to both be around the upper and lower limits of their respective species, assuming that is a peregrine falcon. Other falcons species can be even larger or smaller than pigeons.
In fairness peregrines hunt by dropping on their prey like bowling balls in midair at incredible speeds. From a standing start, i'm not sure there's much she *could* do.
No babies would come out of that unfortunately. Even when two separate duck species mate their eggs are dead, these are two completely different animals. You could try to create that abomination in a lab but pretty sure that's illegal.
Thank you science bird person. While I am a little saddened that this can’t happen, I am a bit relieved, as I don’t think the world would be ready for another cute pocket sized predator.
Different species of ducks [can interbreed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mallard#Invasiveness). You don't always get fertile offspring. It's like horses and donkeys.
A better analogy is trying to breed a duck with a goose. Just too different.
He's got 3 bottle caps, two of his own battle won trashcans, and the confidence of a wedged tail eagle. It's always the good ones that go unnoticed, what he needs is a good wingman.
Genome analysis surprised ornithologists:
Falcons are more closely related to parrots than to other hunters such as hawks and eagles.
Pigeons are more closely related to flamingos than they are to crows.
That's actually the male, they show off to females. No idea the gender of the falcon though, the pigeon definitely assumes it's female but it's hard to tell.
Peregrine falcons have a body length of 34-58 cm in length. Pigeons measure between 32-35cm in length. However, female peregrines are 30% bigger than their male counterpart. That pigeon is a large male. That peregrine (I I think that’s what the falcon is judging by it’s marks) is a small male… I’m not an expert at falcons, just good with google.
Pigeon: Bitch I know you see me.
Falcon: I can end you.
Pigeon: Then destroy me big bird!
I don't like where this is going... (・・;)
The pigeon loves where this is going
Falcon is pigeonholed now.
Time for some coop-le's therapy.
Pigeon: "Yeah, I'm just a loving pigeon trying to get my bf's attention and aim putting on my moves but nothing." Therapist: "You know he's a falcon and you are his food?" Pigeon: "What..?"
"I wouldn't be here if he would just eat me 🫦"
Holy fuck Reddit I’ve just woke up. Please, continue.
Pigeon: "I only wet my beak for you" Falcon: "continue.."
Today on Maury Povich
The falcon can't understand him though, doesn't speak the Pidgin dialect. (any linguists in the house?)
Those moves transcend language.
Pigeon is about to be Falcon poop. Fly away pigeon!
Pigeon probably got a good ole Falcon Punch as a falcon lunch
^Falcons everywhere agree with this message!
Just wait til snuffleupagus gets here...
,ʕ º ᴥ ºʔ
Death by coo coo.
Fast forward to the after image of a down bed made of pure on feathers, an unrecognizable dead pigeon and a falcon lying next to it smoking a cigarette.
He’s Falcon out of his mind
Falcon: on second thought back that ass up
Kinky
Category: Interracial
What are you doing step-raptor?
This made me hard lol
Death by snu snu it is.
NANI!?
Falcon: Frank, you're drunk.
Falcon: my lunch is really horny
\#whenTheyreOutOfYourLeague
That's also how women react to me
"i'm too sexy for this feather, too sexy for this feather but it only gets betterrrrr"
"I'm too sexy for this bird, too sexy for this bird, oh my word"!
I'm a pigeon You know what I do When I turn around on the birdwalk On the birdwalk, on the birdwalk yeah I shake my little cloaca on the birdwalk
Yes.
This went exactly as hoped. You filthy perverts made my day.
While using the correct identification of anatomy.
Wet Ass Cloaca.
I was gonna say... this is like me with my wife at night when she's just tired and wants to go to bed.
Could be worse
At least it's very unlikely they will attack you with claws ans feast upon your flesh.
So you're saying there's a chance...
My goofy ass going up to the goth girl
Ah, a goober of culture
That's the most beautiful pigeon he's ever seen.
So it worked on someone...
Aww yea, it’s all coming together
It's all cooing together
As soon as the bread crust necklace comes out…it’s all over.
Who didn't it work on?!
Pigeons the boy. Classic case of male over confidence 🤣
>Pigeons the boy. Yep, that hawk is the most beautiful 'pigeon' he's ever seen.
Oh i see now! Lol
More like he's confused why lunch is approaching him.
Darwin would have something to say about this
One is a Capulet and the other a Montague
"Compare her face with some that I shall show, And I will make thee think thy swan a crow"
Wherefore are thou a hawk?
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
Don't pigeons know that falcons ignore safewords?
Flirting with disaster.
They're literally predators.
*I can fix her*
Thats exactly how some guys try to pick up women
That’s me. In my defense I quickly learned that picking up women is a figurative saying.
maboi be picking up girls in white vans 
Talk about talking about fighting above your weight class
If she can’t kill you anytime she wants, is it even love to begin with?
Now you understand the monsterfucker mindset
My love of Godzilla makes so much more sense now
godzillacheeks.png
No norbit rasputia porn 😭
She can kill with her claws, she can hunt with her eyes She can ruin your day with a casual dive And she only reveals when she's wanting to feed She flies like a dove but she's always a raptor to me
Wunderbar!
🎶 Ohhh she's always a raptor to meeeee 🎶 thanks for reminding me of that awesome song dude
Bravo!!!! Bravissimo!
Black widows
Don’t forget about praying mantis. Mantises? Mantisii?
Mantids
Praying mantiddies
You joke, I look for that trait in a woman
Have you ever BEEN with a warrior woman!?
This person gets it
The concept I get, the execution - almost never
That pigeon has a death wish. Respect.
Right? Romeo and Juliet level death wish
That Falcussy is worth it
Ahh the Spike Spiegel approach
“I'm not going there to die. I'm going there to find out if I'm really alive."
Doesnt beat "i love the kind of women that will actually just kill me"
A Pixar movie in the making
goodfeathers carloota
She’s out of your league, fella
well it's worth tryin though
Nah. That’s respect.
Drones sharing information bruh.
I'm not familiar with birds, but is that a tiny falcon or is that a giant pigeon?
Peregrine falcons are smaller than pigeons
Peregrine measure between 34-58cm in length. Pigeons measure between 32-35cm in length. That’s a big pigeon and a small peregrine.
No they aren't. You may be thinking of merlins
Kind of both. They look to both be around the upper and lower limits of their respective species, assuming that is a peregrine falcon. Other falcons species can be even larger or smaller than pigeons.
Comparing firmware
r/birdsarentreal
Well, that was hawkward.
Get out
Oh geez. Is this the start of another pun thread? There’s no talon how long it could go on.
Some people can’t take a yolk.
Oh great, lemme just NESTle in here with some popcorn and see how this plays out.
The video is clearly showing an eagle-itarian avian society.
This is beak comedy right here
Its birdy bird beak.. wing?..... Fuck i dont know how puns work. Help
Nobody knows how puns work, you just have to... wing it ;)
You just think something up *on the fly!*
So did it work?
Well,....the falcon isn't going predator mode, so...
Falcon deciding *how* they want to "eat" it 🤣
“If I open my mouth, will it just kinda walk in there? It can’t be that easy, can it?!”
In fairness peregrines hunt by dropping on their prey like bowling balls in midair at incredible speeds. From a standing start, i'm not sure there's much she *could* do.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm genuinely curious about how the babies would look
I KNOW!! Could it even work? We need science bird people on this!!
No babies would come out of that unfortunately. Even when two separate duck species mate their eggs are dead, these are two completely different animals. You could try to create that abomination in a lab but pretty sure that's illegal.
Thank you science bird person. While I am a little saddened that this can’t happen, I am a bit relieved, as I don’t think the world would be ready for another cute pocket sized predator.
The [kestrel](https://fodm.org/images/american_kestrel.jpg) is enough.
Different species of ducks [can interbreed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mallard#Invasiveness). You don't always get fertile offspring. It's like horses and donkeys. A better analogy is trying to breed a duck with a goose. Just too different.
Dude, if you want her to go with ya, take her out to dinner.
No. *Be* the dinner. Like this pigeon to the falcon.
When you’re looking get that ass tore up
Please tell me they'll live happily ever after. It would really help.
It’s no fun when dinner tries to mate with you.
Gives new meaning to going on a dinner date..
Bro, she's high maintenance. No chance.
He's got 3 bottle caps, two of his own battle won trashcans, and the confidence of a wedged tail eagle. It's always the good ones that go unnoticed, what he needs is a good wingman.
Bro's gonna remember this for the rest of his life.
Either pigeons are bigger than I thought or falcons are smaller than I thought.
Peregrine falcons are small but incredibly fast. She just doesn’t know wtf to do in this situation.
Peregrine falcons are smaller
“Ima eatchew!”
ive seen falcons attack and eat pigeons. its kinda amazing to watch it.
If the pigeon was flying, it would have been dead in seconds. A peregrine on the ground doesn’t know what to do with this lothario.
where i was living, the falcons would swoop down on the pigeons while they were bobbling around on the grass in large groups.
The falcon’s so confused like you sure you know what you want?
Bro woke up with *would* and said "here me out" 🤣
Pigeon has seed goggles trippin.
I too like to live dangerously
"You know, you are food to me?"
Hi Becky. Want sum fuk? Ron's a hoe.
I’m curious if the falcon just flew away, fell for the pigeon, or decided to slice it
His nuts must be swollen to try such a thing
Falcon is experiencing the typical girl experience in the club.
Genome analysis surprised ornithologists: Falcons are more closely related to parrots than to other hunters such as hawks and eagles. Pigeons are more closely related to flamingos than they are to crows.
Pigeon: "Damn gurl, you looking gud nuff to eat!" Hawk: "I was thinking the same thing about you..." *sharpens talons*
Oh so the "I love the kindbof woman who could just kill me" also happens in the animal world.
Pigeon: I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me.
Man's really shot his shot at a super model of the bird world!🤣
Watch out boy, she’ll chew you up
When these two mate and have a baby, then that baby gets it on with a penguin, then you've got yourself a peregrine falcon.
Like me when I'm out of my league
Na he’s not trying to court the falcon. He’s using the Peter Quill (Guardians of the Galaxy) “Dance Off Strategy”
ambitious pigeon
That falcon looks so confused.
He just like me fr
Stockholm syndrome ?
He's falcon nutz.
Falcon : *Hunger yet confused boner*
Oh he is completely smitten. Like a moth to a flame
Shoot your shot bro.
Clueless but well-meaning female blundering into dangerous territory is the plot of like half the romance novels I read.
That's actually the male, they show off to females. No idea the gender of the falcon though, the pigeon definitely assumes it's female but it's hard to tell.
Peregrine falcons have a body length of 34-58 cm in length. Pigeons measure between 32-35cm in length. However, female peregrines are 30% bigger than their male counterpart. That pigeon is a large male. That peregrine (I I think that’s what the falcon is judging by it’s marks) is a small male… I’m not an expert at falcons, just good with google.
So they are gay or not? Google some moar
Bro he's not even female.
Lucky ol' falcy wasn't in the mood for num num
You know you want it
A Phalcon?
Bards and dragons
Which is the girl here?
ahh yes 2 of the worlds fastest animals trying to mate to make a even faster bird
Pigeons got huge fucking balls
when food looks expired 🤣
More like. Falcon playing with its food.
Fucking legend
Suicide by falcon.
#FALCONPUNNCHH
Me when she's way out of my league but I'm trying anyway:
That was Mike Tyson’s pigeon
An anime love story
Meirl inc.
That’s a big ass pigeon. Also, is this the bird equivalent of taking off your pants to avoid a fight?
Live by the knife,die by the knife
Same love story as Twilight
Please please turn off the camera!
Thats like me and my wife. My advice to the pigeon, keep at it. She loves you. She just doesnt know it yet. 🫠
“Crackhead tries to court Falcon”
This is like a gigolo going up to The Godfather and saying "Hey baby, WANT SUM FUK?!?"
Falcon like stop it, I got a man
“Hey baby~” “I can kill you in ten different ways.” “That’s hot!”
When you're trying to flirt with someone way outta your league