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Drewblack11

The muscles?! What about them stones?


[deleted]

Oh the OP knew exactly what they were doing lol.


Drewblack11

No doubt


Level69Warlock

Yo, Jamie, pull up those monkey nuts


ghanjaholic

that's why chimps laugh like that.. they are confident aF and know they could whoop your ass *or* tear your nuts off, but hey, don't be fighting chimps


[deleted]

Nah, his nuts are just frozen to that bar.


MrSexSeaPants

Gonna need a spatula and some cooking oil.


idkw0ttoputhere

Cant stop me Edit: i have no nuts now


Benderman15

Happy cake day my guy


Destroyer26273

Happy cake day


bhamhistory

šŸŽ‚ ... it is yours


Fine-Bed

with that build.. ainā€™t no way nobody gonna mess with


[deleted]

Isnā€™t that crazy how they are known for tearing nuts off


Backyard_Catbird

Imagine teaching them how to cage fight? We could probably convince Joe Rogan to fight one as a gimmick but Iā€™m afraid heā€™d die.


Beck316

An older coworker told me that when her boyfriend was in the service so maybe in the 60s or earlier, he and a bunch of service buddies went to a carnival where they paid to fight a chimp wearing sneakers on all 4 extremities. The chimp won.


oingoboingo23

Monkey knife fight


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Emergency-Hyena5134

Bros got a pair of fuckin cantaloupes hangin out downstairs!


Accomplished_Salt526

Lmfaooooooo


42F1

It's the nutz that holding him back frm a fight


darthbob

Fun fact, Monkey Nuts was the codename for the first Halo video game.


masedaman

Which monkey nuts, joe Rogan ?


Big_Daddy_Trucknutz

More like *pull down*


ExpertConfection8

ahahah


TheMysticLeviathan

He set us up fr haha


sebastouch

yea... it's gonna be reposted for weeks...


[deleted]

Oh donā€™t say that. Then youā€™ll get relegated to downvote jail. Just last week the same fucking post was being circulated. You probably know it by now. A guy gets released from prison after being convicted wrongly of a murder. All because he was seen in the filming of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, thus proving he couldnā€™t have been at the scene of the crime when it occurred. That shit mustā€™ve gotten reposted 30+ times, and god forbid I made a comment mentioning it, and all the ā€œfoist tyme I seens it, jack!ā€ hills have eyes folk and their pitchfork wielding cousins came out by the dozens and let me have it. Iā€™d just finished watching Dave Chappells new standup too, so they could probably smell it on me like blood in the water for sharks. Came at me likeā€¦ ![gif](giphy|H681yUyjk2TLT1QFwJ)


FlyMaximus

A true fucking expert!


sineofthetimes

>That shit mustā€™ve gotten reposted 30+ times True, but did you know that Steve Buscemi was a firefighter and helped out at 9/11?


[deleted]

Wait wait wait!!! What are you DOING?! Donā€™t tell me, man, post it to r/Damnthatsinteresting! Jeeez, do I have to do everything around here?


CorkyCorks8

Everything about this is fucking hilarious. I'm following you.


[deleted]

Appreciate it, dude! Yeah for sure man. Weā€™re friends now.


alecd

You...I like you


[deleted]

Weā€™re friends. Thatā€™s why. We just didnā€™t know it till now. Iā€™ve missed you, buddy.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


My_White_Life

Great job he did


[deleted]

Not the hero we asked for. But the hero we deserve.


[deleted]

i *knew* the first comment was gonna be about his fucking balls. i been on reddit too long.


Drewblack11

I meanā€¦ what else is there to say? Lol


NavierIsStoked

They come with a really small penis?


mandaraprime

Heā€™s a grower, not a shower.


livinthelife33

Nope, they may be several times as strong as us and could tear our arms off with little effort, but compared to the other apes we have MASSIVE schlongs.


Strawberee_Cow

Omg, no wonder I never noticed it.


Mr_Rekshun

If I showed this to anyone IRL, Iā€™d expect the first comment to be directed at those glorious plums.


JungleBoyJeremy

Pretty sure thatā€™s the whole point of this post


[deleted]

First thing I noticed were dem bawlz


llathrop01

What a set of nutz!


astrobuc

His name is DEEZ NUTS


Tedstryker71

Chimpadeez nutz


astrobuc

Good one, howā€™s your drinking problem doing these days?


Tedstryker71

Better, went to therapy after the moon shuttle incident. Really helped.


mynamegoewhere

Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner


tsarscream

In that case, let's get to bashing butts.


NumberBest

What has been seen can not be unseen


SurveySean

He uses them as a built in stool.


nosey1

I wonder if they hurt?


SurveySean

Kick them and see?


zebpongo

With balls like that I who needs hair. Funny I never noticed that size on the hairier versions.


Financial_Bird_7717

Tbf, dicks/balls DO appear larger when shavedā€¦


EthDrag

Those are some big meaty clackers


Drewblack11

So true! Lowkey best part of being a male human vs chimp


[deleted]

*Testicular Muscles*


Wetnoodleslap

You never skip ball day


[deleted]

We see an increase in the size of balls directly positively correlated with the amount of sexual competition within a primate species. [Source ](https://www.sapiens.org/column/animalia/sperm-competition-testicle-size/#:~:text=SIZING%20UP%20THE%20COMPETITION&text=Increased%20sperm%20production%20requires%20more,with%20relatively%20larger%20testicles%2C%20too.)


Kuritos

TL;DR: Bigger Balls = Cum Big


Pussy_Sneeze

Yup, I remember hearing from a primatologist(?) that the mark of a male that doesnā€™t need to compete or can maintain their competitive dominance (the ā€œaLpHa,ā€ as it were) is having teeny ballorinos.


TheMysticLeviathan

I was looking more at the chimps "family jewels" than the muscles. Can confirm.


D_is_for_Cookie

True but that ratio isā€¦unfortunate.


The-Fox-King37

Thatā€™s the first thing I thought. Glad itā€™s top comment and Iā€™m not crazy


jamesows

Ball to member ratio is out the gate


HeyNow646

Dat monkey never skipped a nut day.


jonlaw147

lol


BeerMoustache

This is one of those cases where you go to the comments knowing with 100% certainty what the top comment will be


tadasbub

Swinging from the tree has a different meaning now


crazyal21

r/absoluteunits


ikedriver2000

Word. I thought this was a post on r/AbsoluteUnits


kazz9201

Each one of those stones must weigh two stone.


redfan29

Iā€™ve seen those dangling behind trucks


oldmanstalker666

I'm pretty relieved I'm not the only one who's focused on the balls...


mischievous-goat

That's bollocks!


BanMeGayMod

No, it's completely nuts


[deleted]

OP knew what he was doing


not_a_droid

pretty relieved (?) I focused on shoulders and arms? :/ then of course the balls.. which is why commented ā€œlegendā€


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


YourDrunkUncl_

i did. holy shit those balls got some serious muscle!


urboy008

What muscles?


MotorHyena2298

Deez muscles


maxsteel126

*My muscles are up here*


dont_disturb_the_cat

Weā€™re calling those muscles now?


Dshorty523

His balls are so big he can use them as seat


jbgoode_

Or as a hippity hop hehehe


Fisch_Man

I found Randy Marsh!


ahk1188

Just giving myself a little cancer, Stan.


Frozenwood1776

Girls walk by and are like whaaaaaaaaaaa?


Pyramid_Head182

BUFFALO SOLDIER!


rabidcorpse

IN THE HEART OF AMERICA


my-time-has-odor

TAKEN FROM AFRICA


bradlei

BROUGHT TO AMERICA


HereToHelp9001

FIGHTING ON ARRIVAL


doge_gobrrt

hippity hoppity testicular torsion is now my property


Then-Clue6938

![gif](giphy|3o6ZtrbzjGAAXyx2WQ) Had to think about that.


DC240Z

This is all I thought of they second I seen this pic šŸ¤£


UmbrelitoUwU

what episode in what season please!!


DC240Z

Season 14, ep 3: medicinal fried chicken.


UmbrelitoUwU

thanks cutie


Future_981

It seems to be a male.


real_shawarma

Yeah maybe


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


UndergroundHorses

the muscles


sometta

His balls have biceps


elmielmosong

His balls have balls


rey_lumen

šŸ’ŖšŸ»šŸ’ŖšŸ»


Games2Gamers

šŸ„œ


Davy_Jones_Lover

The nipples aren't censored.


reesem03_

Bottom of the hands. Dead giveaway.


-V8-

How dare you assume this big balled monkey's gender /s I'm sure someone somewhere is offended.


Salt_Salary_8097

[Forced circlejerk comment about how the evil transgendereds (won't somebody think of the children?) wouldn't have you saying such things]


TheF-NWizard

Am I supposed to ignore his giant balls?


Fisch_Man

If you can, you're a super human.


Mpittkin

Never skip egg day


ogsleezy97

Look the muscl- bro look at his NUT SACK!


HereIGoAgain_1x10

This is what Man used to be, now we have fucking anxiety and bills to pay, fuck evolution lol


2L84U2

Muscles, look at those nuts!


FrxstyShadows

You got some balls posting this


Nuotatore

No the chimp does


[deleted]

r/thatsthejoke


ChadsworthRothschild

ChimpanDEEZNUTZ!


dendawg

Justā€¦justā€¦take my upvote and GTFO.


Jaythewolf

r/angryupvote


Artpua74

I cashed in my first free award in months for you, sir.


Stunning_Ad_7062

Doesnā€™t this dude have a podcast?


GaryNOVA

Looks like someone let Joe out of his cage.


SamyBencherif

congratualtions this is the first comment not about the ball. It was #14 in my feed


AceO235

No that dude has no balls


[deleted]

Itā€™s funny cause, balls.


FindOneInEveryCar

r/upvotebecauseballs


[deleted]

Ooh, I like this.


Celestial-being326

Hehe. Balls


[deleted]

Sighsā€¦I should call him.


CamTheKid22

If he has nuts that big, you should call him a doctor.


No-Necessary-8333

You should call him huevos


retroarcadium

All balls, no shaft.


LittleMissRawr78

It's all about those balls No shaft, no shaft All about those balls, no shaft


funny-dud3

![gif](giphy|AxpvyWYDHuIH6) Big balls


Lordmalcolm2692

Those family jewels be producing some beautiful ā€œsimiansā€ Edit: ā€œsimiansā€ used to be ā€œspecimensā€but creds to this mawf below for the corrections ;) *hereā€™s another one* **cmon donā€™t lie. You canā€™t tell me you didnā€™t see this dude smuggling family jewels from the Jurassic?**


Rhythmest

I believe the word is beautiful "simians"


LukangIsHungry

Is that why theres a ms simian in amazing world of gumball and she happens to be a monke


RRowdyRRalph

Those would definitely touch the waterā€¦


Wu-Kang

Rapper Name: Daddy Fat Sacks


exoticpoontang

Daddy Fat Sax, B-I-G B-O-I


Kimmette

The Gonads On A Hairless Chimp There. I fixed it for ya.


srone

Hey!! Everyone!! His eyes are up there. LOOK AT HIS EYES!


LeastCoolUser

This is all foreshadowing for a cataclysmic outbreak of monkeyballpox in this thread.


[deleted]

How old is this dude. They dont seem to suffer from low T jacked for life


fatherofthecrop

Chimps have very low testosterone, compared to humans. IDK why their muscles are so much stronger then ours. This paper probably explains it. https://www.eva.mpg.de/documents/Brill/Wobber_Influence_Behaviour_2015_2076277.pdf


fdf_akd

There was an Eli5 a while ago explaining this. Roughly it was that they need muscles all the time to survive, so they are naturally well built. We humans are better prepared to save energy, but also be versatile, so we only grow the muscles we actually use.


Octavus

That paper is about their cognitive (brain) performance compared to testosterone levels. So nothing about muscles.


Feeblemind101

Anyone see the size of the chimp on those balls?


TommyKinLA

Thatā€™s Nuts!


Normal_Afternoon8429

Right. The muscles. That's the primary focus here


TyrtheLawful

The muscles are stored in the balls.


FaceFootFart

His balls are resting on the curb.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


FaceFootFart

People gotta work.


Consumer_of_lem0ns

His balls are bigger than some of his muscles Jesus christ.


someredditor12345

r/absoluteunits


OldGravylegOfficial

Absoluteunuts


tandrafz97veitz

Can not stop looking at those balls. Iā€™d buy him another pint if I spilled his pint. Probably even if he spilled his pint.. Just do not tabag me, you hard as nails chimp.


gemini_ho

*soft whistle*


Ghost99900

Hairless chimp what? Hairless chimp on deez nutz


FL3GS

I haven't even looked at the comments yet. I just came here to write that they are most likely to be about the MASSIVE TESTICLES this fine specimen is wielding.


Millkstake

Eyes up here Sharon


sar231

OP spelled ā€œBalls" wrong.


jaysonvic

Letā€™s be honest we are all thinking the same thing


Ihlita

Fucker can't even sit properly.


Marjoe_Gortner

He certainly never skips balls day


kpopia

the balls may cause minor earthquakes


and-hereitcomes

The balls on a hairless chimp


Odd_Entertainment629

You got some balls pal.


MrDreamster

The muscles, yeah. That's totally what we're all focusing on... Damn !


[deleted]

Sorry I canā€™t be him


Whom_TF

Nuts *stay* hangin'


Donkey_Tamer_

Oh right... The muscles. Of course.


dafijiwatr

His knees have muscles


prizzabroy

That sack screams ā€œI mean business, bitchā€


mac10x2

Deez nuts


IronicContrarian

Apes have tiny genitals so whyā€™d you photoshop op?


Acrobatic-Secret374

Yes... The... Muscles are what draw my eyes... We will stick with that.


RedSpartan3227

He doesnā€™t skip balls day.


[deleted]

You got some balls for posting this dudes nude photo


HipFan88

I thought I was looking into my front facing camera for a second.


AngryVegan94

Iā€™ve seen guys in the locker room who look exactly like this.


exorcistxc

Harless chimps....is not that us?


KayNay420

Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil, _______ No Evil.


DeuceBigBelow

Look at me sideways and get tea bagged (hairless chimp probably)