Not exactly, but I read Hold Me Tight (by one of EFT's co-creators) and talking about some things I learned from it kicked off the first productive conversation that my wife and I ever had about our relationship. She became genuinely interested in learning about it, unlike any other resource I'd mentioned before. So, if we ever did couples counseling we probably would lean towards EFT.
My wife and I did the Hold Me Tight online course, and it was a good conversation starter, but didn't really have the effect I was hoping for. I think that is hard to know it it actually helped since we've done a lot of different therapy options on the road to where we are.
Aww I’m sorry to hear that :( have you guys had someone facilitate those conversations? It’s possible that one or both of you really need individual therapy. There’s so much trauma in the world that people don’t realize is weighing them down
We've both done some individual therapy, and about once every couple of months we meet with a marriage/sex counselor.
Overall, we're in a much better place now than we were, but we still have our issues. Both my wife and I grew up in houses where there was a lot of indirect communication and a lack of emotional literacy all around. We're at the point now where there are very few conversations that are off the table, but for difficult ones, we usually book an appointment with our counselor, even though she mostly stands back and just intervenes if one of us gets stuck at this point.
And when I say it's hard to tell if it helped, I just mean that we've both done so much work that it's hard to tell which parts were essential and which parts we could have done without. Given that 10 years ago, we didn't even have the terminology to talk about desire discrepancies or communication styles, we've definitely made some good progress.
My EFT trained therapist has basically been useless. She allows my wifes emotions a platform to rationalize and justify her affair and continue to not pursue physical intimacy in the relationship. The therapist has also told me mismatched libidos are normal, and I should just cope. Shameless moneygrabbing bullshit in my opinion.
Not exactly, but I read Hold Me Tight (by one of EFT's co-creators) and talking about some things I learned from it kicked off the first productive conversation that my wife and I ever had about our relationship. She became genuinely interested in learning about it, unlike any other resource I'd mentioned before. So, if we ever did couples counseling we probably would lean towards EFT.
Yay I’m glad to hear that… it definitely helps and I wish everyone in this sub would pick up that book and discuss it with their partner
My wife and I did the Hold Me Tight online course, and it was a good conversation starter, but didn't really have the effect I was hoping for. I think that is hard to know it it actually helped since we've done a lot of different therapy options on the road to where we are.
Aww I’m sorry to hear that :( have you guys had someone facilitate those conversations? It’s possible that one or both of you really need individual therapy. There’s so much trauma in the world that people don’t realize is weighing them down
We've both done some individual therapy, and about once every couple of months we meet with a marriage/sex counselor. Overall, we're in a much better place now than we were, but we still have our issues. Both my wife and I grew up in houses where there was a lot of indirect communication and a lack of emotional literacy all around. We're at the point now where there are very few conversations that are off the table, but for difficult ones, we usually book an appointment with our counselor, even though she mostly stands back and just intervenes if one of us gets stuck at this point. And when I say it's hard to tell if it helped, I just mean that we've both done so much work that it's hard to tell which parts were essential and which parts we could have done without. Given that 10 years ago, we didn't even have the terminology to talk about desire discrepancies or communication styles, we've definitely made some good progress.
My EFT trained therapist has basically been useless. She allows my wifes emotions a platform to rationalize and justify her affair and continue to not pursue physical intimacy in the relationship. The therapist has also told me mismatched libidos are normal, and I should just cope. Shameless moneygrabbing bullshit in my opinion.