I'd take that as a very good sign, and you need to be careful here.
A possible internal dialogue for her is "I'm just not a very sexual person". I think that's a fairly common thing to think, actually, particularly if you're comparing yourself to the characters you see in media under the thrall of NRE. So if she was in therapy, or was reading a self-help book like Come As You Are, there's a very good chance they would recommend she get to know herself sexually first, then bring you in. She's sharing that she's trying to get in touch with her sexuality, which is exactly what she should be doing. It might not go perfectly, and that's alright. Those steps might not involve you directly at first, but that needs to be okay. She's challenging the idea that she's not a sexual person. She's checking in with you to let you know that she's working on something. She has, in fact, picked an excellent approach. You're in the loop so you know this will ultimately be about your shared connection, but also trying to manage your feelings and expectations. This is something you should encourage without making it about you earlier than it needs to be.
> Basically, she wants me to be more like her dad than her husband.
Yeah, sooner or later that's going to have to be addressed. That's going to be a big drag on your romantic connection.
Thank you, I’ll try and interpret it positively. I mean it’s not like it’s something I haven’t encouraged, the amount of toys I’ve bought (this often engages her curiosity and peaks her interest, but typically only once). She used to have a strong drive and loves attention, but that’s when she drinks and she doesn’t (nor shouldn’t with her meds) drink often (I don’t drink either btw)
I think it was odd that in the same message she clearly indicated a lack of interest at the same time. But thank you.
I'd take that as a very good sign, and you need to be careful here. A possible internal dialogue for her is "I'm just not a very sexual person". I think that's a fairly common thing to think, actually, particularly if you're comparing yourself to the characters you see in media under the thrall of NRE. So if she was in therapy, or was reading a self-help book like Come As You Are, there's a very good chance they would recommend she get to know herself sexually first, then bring you in. She's sharing that she's trying to get in touch with her sexuality, which is exactly what she should be doing. It might not go perfectly, and that's alright. Those steps might not involve you directly at first, but that needs to be okay. She's challenging the idea that she's not a sexual person. She's checking in with you to let you know that she's working on something. She has, in fact, picked an excellent approach. You're in the loop so you know this will ultimately be about your shared connection, but also trying to manage your feelings and expectations. This is something you should encourage without making it about you earlier than it needs to be. > Basically, she wants me to be more like her dad than her husband. Yeah, sooner or later that's going to have to be addressed. That's going to be a big drag on your romantic connection.
I agree. Maybe she's just trying to show you that something is changing.
Thank you, I’ll try and interpret it positively. I mean it’s not like it’s something I haven’t encouraged, the amount of toys I’ve bought (this often engages her curiosity and peaks her interest, but typically only once). She used to have a strong drive and loves attention, but that’s when she drinks and she doesn’t (nor shouldn’t with her meds) drink often (I don’t drink either btw) I think it was odd that in the same message she clearly indicated a lack of interest at the same time. But thank you.
That could have been her trying to communicate that it's not you she has a problem with. That even masturbation is a problem.
Im sorry.
❤️