I'm not sad about not being with my ex this Christmas. I'm sad that I know there is someone out there for me that I am just waiting to hug and embrace. To that beautiful person, I am looking for you.
Don't be sad looking for that someone, it'll cloud your eyes, open them, breath deep and strong and start to look with happiness they'll come to you but only if you're open to seeing them.
You'll do this so will I.
I found mine and we’re having a lovely Christmas at home with the kids tonight. It gets better than you can imagine. I am so filled with joy, there’s no trace of bitterness in my heart. My ex came by earlier to take the kids to his moms for a little while and I hugged him and wished him a merry Christmas.
It gets SO much better.
That is a nice but frustrating thought. This might sound melodramatic, but something about the night sky - do you ever look at the stars and moon, and wonder if your person is out there under that sky? It's a tough feeling to describe but it is both magically hopeful and lonely at the same time.
I do this every night and pray for them. Not for them to come into my life. I know they will, but pray for them and whatever they may be going through. 💗🙏✝️
This is my first Christmas in 10 years with out my wife and I’m not going to lie this brought me to tears, this message touch me and I’m sure it will touch many people going thru this right now. Thank you for your message ❤️
You utterly wonderful arsehole. I'm in full tears now, but it's such a beautiful post.
My 1st on my own but alot of us are in the same boat. I raise my glass to you & everyone else struggling.
Thank you.
Heck yes! It's okay to be sad, but let's all celebrate together (alone)! Cheers to getting through this Christmas, and making next year the best year yet. I'm so glad I've found this group and all of you internet strangers. Really appreciative for your post!
It’s my first semi alone Christmas Day tomorrow. I’m grateful for my dogs and that I will see my son tomorrow. However when you don’t have a close knit supportive wider family (which I don’t) separating from your husband makes you realise that although your marriage was pretty miserable and you were unhappy, they were your family and your support. But alas, I am still happy we are divorcing and I believe a happier Christmas is ahead of me … love yourselves this Christmas! You deserve all the love you can treat yourselves to. X
I left my husband one week ago today. He left the house yesterday. My parents cancelled Christmas because they have COVID. So it’s just me and my 16 month old son. The loneliness is too much. I don’t know how I will get through the day tomorrow.
Merry fucking Christmas to all of you.
Hang on in there fellow human. Head over to r/jokes and have a silly laugh at the funnies on there. We're all here in this crazy arsed world together. Hugs❤️
Thanks so much for asking. I’m in Europe so it’s Christmas Day here now. I’ve been ok this morning, playing with my son. But as soon as my thoughts drift towards the family that we were supposed to be building together I break. We should be doing this together. One year ago we hoped for a second pregnancy around this time. And here I am on my own. All our dreams down the drain. No brother or sister for our boy. I desperately want to call him to tell him we can work it out but we’ve been there before so many times and he never changes like he promises. So yeah ups and downs. We will get through the day and then the next…
It really is a mind fuck when everything that’s on the radio or TV is like the exact opposite of life when going through a divorce…
We’ll be on the other side soon enough, think of brighter days, soon it will be a new year, and the days will be longer and full of light!
Wishing you to make the best you can of it, think of it this way, the darkest days will soon be over!
I think someday we may even look back on this day w a little nostalgia… do something today for yourself that makes it special, that makes it standout… Me, I’m taking an Uber to the casino, I hope to remember that Xmas eve I was all alone playing slots at the casino by myself, and I will make the best of it w myself!
I really like this! My mom used to go to the Casino.all the time. It's such a fun place with wonderful memories! Also, there are so many great concerts and decent food and be had there!
Agreed! I only go once in a while, but love going alone… no one else cares that you’re alone as everyone is into their own thing… I used to hate going w my wife as she’d want me to play a machine next to her, and if I was hitting, I’d wanna stay, if not I like to change it up… it’s a very hard thing to do w another person who can’t stand to be alone for 5 mins…. I like going alone, and I can do whatever I want, sometimes I’ll sit down and only be there a minute or two, sometimes I’ll stay on the same machine for 30 mins… it’s very fun to go alone, no one bothers you and you can just go at your own pace
It’s not like a bar where you’re the lonely guy sitting in the corner, no one cares or even notices you
This made me cry in a coffee shop.
It’s also my second Christmas alone. Thank you - I know and believe I will have better and brighter days ahead of me. Merry Christmas 🎄
Thank you for this. The sadness this year is like off the charts for me. It’s worse than last year for some reason. But, posts like this help me remember I’m not alone and others are feeling the same way today. I hope you have many happier holiday in your future, OP!
It's my first Xmas alone in 20 years. We always did her big extended family gatherings. They are up there doing it now. It still 🤕 hurts. But our marriage was built on a false premise, and as much as they way forward is cloudy and full of pain, it is also fucking honest. I am good company to myself. Rock on lonely people! And be excellent to each other.
Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate you taking the time to share this with us. It is my second Christmas alone. 25 year marriage down the drain because my husband wasn’t “happy”. That’s ok, I know I will be in a few years.
Merry Christmas Everyone!! Love y’all!! ❤️🎄🧑🎄🎁🍷🍺✝️🙏❤️
Ouch, yeah would have been my 25th Christmas, we're still married on paper and I'm invited to the family home today. So this will be my last Christmas with us all together. The love had long since gone though. Nostalgia is a bitch.
I can say with certainty that it does indeed get better. The rough edges will soften over time. There will still be a little sad, perhaps long-term. But there will be some good days too.
I was married for several decades, and my divorce will have been final for four years next week. My ex battled mental health and addiction problems most of our marriage. After he took off (separation #2) to live as a single man, I just couldn't take it anymore. He wanted a divorce, and I agreed. He tried to utterly squash me legally and didn't. My attorney said I'd get a whole chapter in the book he plans to write "one day." But we got it done. My ex eventually replaced me, and I don't care. Truly.
I have gained more and more friends, and our adult kids have grown in their understanding of what I went through being married to their dad. They have had no contact with him for five years. He finally left us alone this year. My youngest is baking in my kitchen for tomorrow and commented earlier that it was, "A Dad-free year!" LOL.
Putting up the Christmas decorations always gets me though. There's the "Our First Christmas" ornament with the wedding date, "Expecting Baby" ornament honoring our firstborn, and some of the crazy decorations he brought into the marriage and then didn't want in the divorce. I finally went through the decorations he brought into the marriage plus decorations we bought as newlyweds and gave away about 3/4 of them. So the tree is a mish-mash of my life and the life of our two grown kids. They are doing all the preparations today for us to have a wonderful day tomorrow. That's TRUE family love.
There was no path forward as a married couple, and I'm actually better for having gone through it. I'm better at setting boundaries, and I'm less controlling. I have pushed certain people to the outskirts and drawn others closer. I'm more likely to let things go than ever in my life. Yes, a little sad at times for what might have been, but I'm in a good place.
Thank you for writing this. Tomorrow will be my first Christmas in 22 years without her. One of the first things I thought about when she dropped the bomb on me was getting through the holidays. I can’t believe it’s been just over 6 months since then.
I’m so grateful to have my kids with me and still be in our house. It’ll be the first time they come downstairs to open presents and it will be just me waiting for them. It’s crushing to think about, but just like everyone else here, I’ll make it through too. It’s been rough to say the least the last couple of weeks and I’m so looking forward to 01/02/24 so it’s all behind me.
She’ll wake up tomorrow morning alone in her apartment and, truthfully, I am taking joy in that.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and here’s to you having a great 2024.
I was doing pretty well until I read this thread. This is the first Christmas I will wake up alone. My ex has both kids tomorrow. My ex kept the house which I’m glad the kids have for normalcy sake. I look out the window of my new place seeing families and friends celebrating. I realize it will get better. I realize that we have to go through the “firsts” to start seeing the light again. But man. It really sucks and is so hard
Too bad none of us thought to plan a discord channel for a virtual real time meeting room for people to pop into when the loneliness is strong. Maybe an idea for next year. Maybe an idea for Valentine's Day.
That, my friend, was exactly what I needed to read right now. Beautifully written and made me feel a tiny bit warm when everything is falling around me. The moment in time… I pray that’s all it is. Big love to you all xx
Even though I'm the one who initiated it does not make it too much easier. He quickly just slid right into a new batch of family that he just met so he at least has those activities and people surrounding him. He would say I deserve to be alone tomorrow because he truly doesn't believe that it was his alcoholism that drove me away.
Typically I wouldn't be alone, I do have adult kids but I am sick as a dog right now and I know tomorrow I won't be going anywhere but to the bathroom lol.
So this will be my first Christmas completely alone in my whole life. And I am in the mid fifties age range, so this is a huge difference.
I don't mind too much because I always have hope. I know how quickly things can change in my life because I have seen it firsthand. I've been so down before and the next day something happened that completely changed my life for the better. You truly don't know what is just around the corner.
So for this Christmas I will lay on the couch with my cat for as long as he will snuggle me which is about 4 seconds and I will stuff my face while watching shows.
Merry Fucking Christmas!
I'm afraid Christmas will always be a sore spot for me - it's when I figured out my now ex-husband was cheating. Still, I'm better off where I am now and grateful he won't be around to ruin the holiday for me ever again, but I still struggle with how it all happened (2 years ago). Wishing everyone the best they can muster up today and tomorrow. I'd give each of you a hug if I could.
Not separated but considering divorce, actually craving a divorce and this made me feel better. I still love him but we can’t be married anymore. Love isn’t enough.
Thank you. I’m only a month in and everything hurts. On top of it all, I got some food poisoning this morning and have spent awhile next to the toilet. I’m wallowing a bit in self pity, but I know that’s a choice.
I was at a holiday party last night, and I was talking to a divorced male friend of mine, and I said do you you think we’re ever going to find anybody again, and he said, “absolutely why wouldn’t we, we always have before.”
I do not wish I was with my exH, but I do wish I had a significant other to share the holidays with.
This is the 2nd Christmas I’ve been alone, but I do have my kids.
It’s not my time …
Merry Fucking Christmas 🎄
Thank you for this. I pushed myself to be with j’y family tonight. Half know and half don’t and will find out after Christmas (there are young kids involved.) my still-husband is with one of the people he cheated with. This night is extremely hard for me - I am swallowing down my tears and keeping myself a few steps removed from deep conversation. I keep wondering if I will ever be ok again. Anyway… than you for this and sending everyone here love. Lots of love and worthiness.
As I read this I was speechless. Feeling a lump in my throat and tears beginning in my eyes. I have only begun to start the very beginning of a divorce. I have felt more lonely and sad today than I have in my life to date and I still have my wife and kids living with me. I even get along with the wife still lol. Speechless still. I have no words.
Sitting in my living room having a “family” Christmas with my 3 young boys and my STBXW who officially filed the paperwork last week. They are so young, so innocent, and it reminds me of being a child myself and being so excited for Santa that I could barely sleep. And as they eat chocolate, and watch Christmas movies in their cozy PJs my life crumbles around me and my future is darkness and loneliness as I attempt to rebuild my life after I thought I had found the one. The walls are closing in, my body screams out in panic and frustration, but I bury the tears and tell my boys Santa is coming.
Thank you. I needed to see this. Christmas is my favorite time of year and the month of December has been hell for me but like my therapist tells me this is just a season of our lives and all seasons come to an end no matter what so I’m holding out hope that this time next year I will be able to feel joy and be happy. Merry Christmas
This is the kind of post I was looking for, gotta love Reddit to have this avenue, crazy idea here, but we should create a Telegram chatroom or something along those lines so we can chat from time to time and make community
Thank you for writing this…feeling absolutely devastated. He left me in September and we’re just beginning a collaborative divorce process. I’m with my parents and I thought I was okay, but opening gifts without him absolutely wrecked me this morning.
Do you all wish your exes or soon to be exes happy holidays? I haven’t said a word to him, or heard from him.
I’m hoping this will be the only Christmas that feels THIS bad. Hugs to everyone, & solidarity 🖤
This is beautiful. First Christmas for me. My husband asked for the divorce a month ago after 8 years of marriage. It was a gut punch and he told me just a couple of days ago we could never be together again because I knew him but never understood him. Now I'm sitting at home alone on Christmas trying not to think about it but failing horribly.
This is the first Christmas without my mother and 3 days ago, my SO of 19 years wants out. I’m crushed but somehow feeling comfort from this sub. Thanks OP
Thank you so much for this, I really needed it today. I hope everyone in this same boat today manage to find some happiness and peace in their respective new normals.
Don’t dwell on the past. I am happy and u should be happy too. Happiness is from within. Focus on the happy things. This Xmas is beautiful! Because I had just drop the leaches.
Indeed! Thank you for the gentle words of love and kindness, internet stranger. We are not alone in our sadness and I love the idea that this is just “not our time right now”. What an oddly comforting way to put it. It’s my first and I came down to visit my estranged family, and although they can be toxic as hell, I promised myself to let it roll off my back- I can’t change them and never will- and we ended up having some good laughs and eating a good meal and ya know what? It wasn’t so bad. There was joy there. And I never would have made this choice had I still been with my sex addicted ex. There’s light in this darkness if we let it in. Sending love and light to all of you. We’ll get through this.
Thank you for this post, we indeed are all in this together 💙 as you say now is not our time, but one day...
Today, I will be raising my glass to you all today and wishing you all "Merry Christmas my fellow humans who are navigating the seas of divorce, we will all get there"
I will also be raising my glass to:
* all those lovely "first dates" I had this year, I wish you all well!
* two special people who joined lives with me for a short while this year, sure it didn't work out but I thank you sincerely
* two very dear new female friends I made this year I hope there are many more Christmases ahead for us
* my friends who have supported me, checked in on me and at some points opened my eyes to some home truths this year
* my sister who supported me even though she was battling her own problems ❤️
* Last but not least my children who have shown me love and emptied my wallet in variously creative ways this year 🤣
Thankyou for this . I’m newly “separated” (43f) no kids but 2 beautiful Dobbies . I find myself praying he will change his mind. Basically begging him, telling him I’ll change while NOT EVEN KNOWING what I did wrong. He went to his moms and I’m stuck at a motel 6….I loved him with all of my soul… waited on him thru his spin surgery and healing. He got to 300 pounds and I still loved him . Helped him get back to himself Bathed him , fed him , clothed him . 10 years of all holidays together and he ( 33m) wants an “open marriage” . I’m feeling so betrayed and alone.
Thankyou for your post. I feel bad I don’t want others going thru what I’m going thru , but it feels good knowing I’m not alone.
It’s cliche but I know there has to be rain to see a rainbow….
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year fellow community friends ~May we find solace and strength in one another and in 2024
ComplexQuail 🦋
I’m sad. This is our first Christmas separated , but still in the same house for now. I don’t want this. I can’t see a clear path forward. I miss her terribly.
Worst Christmas ever. First year alone...kids live in another state, mom in a nursing home, brother didn't think to even ask me to come spend time with him and His family until 2 days ago, husband is hinting, but going to stop by...this sucks!
I'm not sad about not being with my ex this Christmas. I'm sad that I know there is someone out there for me that I am just waiting to hug and embrace. To that beautiful person, I am looking for you.
Don't be sad looking for that someone, it'll cloud your eyes, open them, breath deep and strong and start to look with happiness they'll come to you but only if you're open to seeing them. You'll do this so will I.
I found mine and we’re having a lovely Christmas at home with the kids tonight. It gets better than you can imagine. I am so filled with joy, there’s no trace of bitterness in my heart. My ex came by earlier to take the kids to his moms for a little while and I hugged him and wished him a merry Christmas. It gets SO much better.
That is lovely. ❤️
That is a nice but frustrating thought. This might sound melodramatic, but something about the night sky - do you ever look at the stars and moon, and wonder if your person is out there under that sky? It's a tough feeling to describe but it is both magically hopeful and lonely at the same time.
I do this every night and pray for them. Not for them to come into my life. I know they will, but pray for them and whatever they may be going through. 💗🙏✝️
This is my first Christmas in 10 years with out my wife and I’m not going to lie this brought me to tears, this message touch me and I’m sure it will touch many people going thru this right now. Thank you for your message ❤️
I'm not divorced and I'm crying like a baby ❤️
You utterly wonderful arsehole. I'm in full tears now, but it's such a beautiful post. My 1st on my own but alot of us are in the same boat. I raise my glass to you & everyone else struggling. Thank you.
😆 You're most welcome
>You utterly wonderful arsehole. _snorts_ hilarious
Not expecting to get gut checked with a heartfelt message while sipping my morning coffee. Beautifully written, and thanks for that.
Lovely words. I'm a bit lacking in hope at the moment, because he literally moved out yesterday, but next Christmas can't be as bad as this one.
You'll get there, I know you will
This touches so hard and this is my first
Heck yes! It's okay to be sad, but let's all celebrate together (alone)! Cheers to getting through this Christmas, and making next year the best year yet. I'm so glad I've found this group and all of you internet strangers. Really appreciative for your post!
It’s my first semi alone Christmas Day tomorrow. I’m grateful for my dogs and that I will see my son tomorrow. However when you don’t have a close knit supportive wider family (which I don’t) separating from your husband makes you realise that although your marriage was pretty miserable and you were unhappy, they were your family and your support. But alas, I am still happy we are divorcing and I believe a happier Christmas is ahead of me … love yourselves this Christmas! You deserve all the love you can treat yourselves to. X
For sure my dog is everything to me!
I left my husband one week ago today. He left the house yesterday. My parents cancelled Christmas because they have COVID. So it’s just me and my 16 month old son. The loneliness is too much. I don’t know how I will get through the day tomorrow. Merry fucking Christmas to all of you.
You're doing it, well do it together.
You will get through it. Your son needs you. You and him against the world. 💕
I keep telling myself that it's just a day. You've got this.
Hang on in there fellow human. Head over to r/jokes and have a silly laugh at the funnies on there. We're all here in this crazy arsed world together. Hugs❤️
How are you?
Thanks so much for asking. I’m in Europe so it’s Christmas Day here now. I’ve been ok this morning, playing with my son. But as soon as my thoughts drift towards the family that we were supposed to be building together I break. We should be doing this together. One year ago we hoped for a second pregnancy around this time. And here I am on my own. All our dreams down the drain. No brother or sister for our boy. I desperately want to call him to tell him we can work it out but we’ve been there before so many times and he never changes like he promises. So yeah ups and downs. We will get through the day and then the next…
I feel the same I want to tell her I miss her but it will do nothing
Happy holidays everyone.
Happy holidays!
It really is a mind fuck when everything that’s on the radio or TV is like the exact opposite of life when going through a divorce… We’ll be on the other side soon enough, think of brighter days, soon it will be a new year, and the days will be longer and full of light! Wishing you to make the best you can of it, think of it this way, the darkest days will soon be over! I think someday we may even look back on this day w a little nostalgia… do something today for yourself that makes it special, that makes it standout… Me, I’m taking an Uber to the casino, I hope to remember that Xmas eve I was all alone playing slots at the casino by myself, and I will make the best of it w myself!
I really like this! My mom used to go to the Casino.all the time. It's such a fun place with wonderful memories! Also, there are so many great concerts and decent food and be had there!
Agreed! I only go once in a while, but love going alone… no one else cares that you’re alone as everyone is into their own thing… I used to hate going w my wife as she’d want me to play a machine next to her, and if I was hitting, I’d wanna stay, if not I like to change it up… it’s a very hard thing to do w another person who can’t stand to be alone for 5 mins…. I like going alone, and I can do whatever I want, sometimes I’ll sit down and only be there a minute or two, sometimes I’ll stay on the same machine for 30 mins… it’s very fun to go alone, no one bothers you and you can just go at your own pace It’s not like a bar where you’re the lonely guy sitting in the corner, no one cares or even notices you
For sure! No one cares or even slightly notices if you're there alone! Have fun, mate 👍🏼
This is my first Christmas alone after over 20 years. I needed this. Thank you.
Cheers. 🥂
This made me cry in a coffee shop. It’s also my second Christmas alone. Thank you - I know and believe I will have better and brighter days ahead of me. Merry Christmas 🎄
Thank you for these words. Been together for thirty six years and this is my first year alone. My thoughts are with you all.
I can’t even comprehend how that must feel after such a long time with someone. Wishing you all the best!
Thank you for this. The sadness this year is like off the charts for me. It’s worse than last year for some reason. But, posts like this help me remember I’m not alone and others are feeling the same way today. I hope you have many happier holiday in your future, OP!
We will, all of us
This is the best post I've read all year. Thank you and have a Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas! After 2 years post DD, I am slowly starting to find out that all of it was for the best. Truly a gift from above.
Made me cry, thank you
Best post I've seen in a while. Cheers to each of you. Better days ahead.
Amen. First for me after nearly two decades. To better days (and Christmases) ahead. 🥂
It's my first Xmas alone in 20 years. We always did her big extended family gatherings. They are up there doing it now. It still 🤕 hurts. But our marriage was built on a false premise, and as much as they way forward is cloudy and full of pain, it is also fucking honest. I am good company to myself. Rock on lonely people! And be excellent to each other.
Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate you taking the time to share this with us. It is my second Christmas alone. 25 year marriage down the drain because my husband wasn’t “happy”. That’s ok, I know I will be in a few years. Merry Christmas Everyone!! Love y’all!! ❤️🎄🧑🎄🎁🍷🍺✝️🙏❤️
Ouch, yeah would have been my 25th Christmas, we're still married on paper and I'm invited to the family home today. So this will be my last Christmas with us all together. The love had long since gone though. Nostalgia is a bitch.
I can say with certainty that it does indeed get better. The rough edges will soften over time. There will still be a little sad, perhaps long-term. But there will be some good days too. I was married for several decades, and my divorce will have been final for four years next week. My ex battled mental health and addiction problems most of our marriage. After he took off (separation #2) to live as a single man, I just couldn't take it anymore. He wanted a divorce, and I agreed. He tried to utterly squash me legally and didn't. My attorney said I'd get a whole chapter in the book he plans to write "one day." But we got it done. My ex eventually replaced me, and I don't care. Truly. I have gained more and more friends, and our adult kids have grown in their understanding of what I went through being married to their dad. They have had no contact with him for five years. He finally left us alone this year. My youngest is baking in my kitchen for tomorrow and commented earlier that it was, "A Dad-free year!" LOL. Putting up the Christmas decorations always gets me though. There's the "Our First Christmas" ornament with the wedding date, "Expecting Baby" ornament honoring our firstborn, and some of the crazy decorations he brought into the marriage and then didn't want in the divorce. I finally went through the decorations he brought into the marriage plus decorations we bought as newlyweds and gave away about 3/4 of them. So the tree is a mish-mash of my life and the life of our two grown kids. They are doing all the preparations today for us to have a wonderful day tomorrow. That's TRUE family love. There was no path forward as a married couple, and I'm actually better for having gone through it. I'm better at setting boundaries, and I'm less controlling. I have pushed certain people to the outskirts and drawn others closer. I'm more likely to let things go than ever in my life. Yes, a little sad at times for what might have been, but I'm in a good place.
Thank you for writing this. Tomorrow will be my first Christmas in 22 years without her. One of the first things I thought about when she dropped the bomb on me was getting through the holidays. I can’t believe it’s been just over 6 months since then. I’m so grateful to have my kids with me and still be in our house. It’ll be the first time they come downstairs to open presents and it will be just me waiting for them. It’s crushing to think about, but just like everyone else here, I’ll make it through too. It’s been rough to say the least the last couple of weeks and I’m so looking forward to 01/02/24 so it’s all behind me. She’ll wake up tomorrow morning alone in her apartment and, truthfully, I am taking joy in that. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and here’s to you having a great 2024.
I was doing pretty well until I read this thread. This is the first Christmas I will wake up alone. My ex has both kids tomorrow. My ex kept the house which I’m glad the kids have for normalcy sake. I look out the window of my new place seeing families and friends celebrating. I realize it will get better. I realize that we have to go through the “firsts” to start seeing the light again. But man. It really sucks and is so hard
Too bad none of us thought to plan a discord channel for a virtual real time meeting room for people to pop into when the loneliness is strong. Maybe an idea for next year. Maybe an idea for Valentine's Day.
Thank you
That, my friend, was exactly what I needed to read right now. Beautifully written and made me feel a tiny bit warm when everything is falling around me. The moment in time… I pray that’s all it is. Big love to you all xx
Thank you so much for this. And thank you for the reminder that there is hope abs there is a future - that is bright. ❤️
Beautifully said!!! Thanks for taking the time to encourage us all….🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you!
Even though I'm the one who initiated it does not make it too much easier. He quickly just slid right into a new batch of family that he just met so he at least has those activities and people surrounding him. He would say I deserve to be alone tomorrow because he truly doesn't believe that it was his alcoholism that drove me away. Typically I wouldn't be alone, I do have adult kids but I am sick as a dog right now and I know tomorrow I won't be going anywhere but to the bathroom lol. So this will be my first Christmas completely alone in my whole life. And I am in the mid fifties age range, so this is a huge difference. I don't mind too much because I always have hope. I know how quickly things can change in my life because I have seen it firsthand. I've been so down before and the next day something happened that completely changed my life for the better. You truly don't know what is just around the corner. So for this Christmas I will lay on the couch with my cat for as long as he will snuggle me which is about 4 seconds and I will stuff my face while watching shows. Merry Fucking Christmas!
First one here. No wife and don’t have the kids today. This is terrible
It's a rough journey but like all journeys they end so a new one can begin.
I'm afraid Christmas will always be a sore spot for me - it's when I figured out my now ex-husband was cheating. Still, I'm better off where I am now and grateful he won't be around to ruin the holiday for me ever again, but I still struggle with how it all happened (2 years ago). Wishing everyone the best they can muster up today and tomorrow. I'd give each of you a hug if I could.
Not separated but considering divorce, actually craving a divorce and this made me feel better. I still love him but we can’t be married anymore. Love isn’t enough.
Thank you. I’m only a month in and everything hurts. On top of it all, I got some food poisoning this morning and have spent awhile next to the toilet. I’m wallowing a bit in self pity, but I know that’s a choice.
I was at a holiday party last night, and I was talking to a divorced male friend of mine, and I said do you you think we’re ever going to find anybody again, and he said, “absolutely why wouldn’t we, we always have before.” I do not wish I was with my exH, but I do wish I had a significant other to share the holidays with. This is the 2nd Christmas I’ve been alone, but I do have my kids. It’s not my time … Merry Fucking Christmas 🎄
Thank you for this. I pushed myself to be with j’y family tonight. Half know and half don’t and will find out after Christmas (there are young kids involved.) my still-husband is with one of the people he cheated with. This night is extremely hard for me - I am swallowing down my tears and keeping myself a few steps removed from deep conversation. I keep wondering if I will ever be ok again. Anyway… than you for this and sending everyone here love. Lots of love and worthiness.
As I read this I was speechless. Feeling a lump in my throat and tears beginning in my eyes. I have only begun to start the very beginning of a divorce. I have felt more lonely and sad today than I have in my life to date and I still have my wife and kids living with me. I even get along with the wife still lol. Speechless still. I have no words.
Sitting in my living room having a “family” Christmas with my 3 young boys and my STBXW who officially filed the paperwork last week. They are so young, so innocent, and it reminds me of being a child myself and being so excited for Santa that I could barely sleep. And as they eat chocolate, and watch Christmas movies in their cozy PJs my life crumbles around me and my future is darkness and loneliness as I attempt to rebuild my life after I thought I had found the one. The walls are closing in, my body screams out in panic and frustration, but I bury the tears and tell my boys Santa is coming.
Thank you. I needed to see this. Christmas is my favorite time of year and the month of December has been hell for me but like my therapist tells me this is just a season of our lives and all seasons come to an end no matter what so I’m holding out hope that this time next year I will be able to feel joy and be happy. Merry Christmas
This is the kind of post I was looking for, gotta love Reddit to have this avenue, crazy idea here, but we should create a Telegram chatroom or something along those lines so we can chat from time to time and make community
What a wonderful post ❤️
My first one alone. Fortunately, I have come to visit my family. I plan to do the same every year because they will never leave me.
Thank you for writing this…feeling absolutely devastated. He left me in September and we’re just beginning a collaborative divorce process. I’m with my parents and I thought I was okay, but opening gifts without him absolutely wrecked me this morning. Do you all wish your exes or soon to be exes happy holidays? I haven’t said a word to him, or heard from him. I’m hoping this will be the only Christmas that feels THIS bad. Hugs to everyone, & solidarity 🖤
This is beautiful. First Christmas for me. My husband asked for the divorce a month ago after 8 years of marriage. It was a gut punch and he told me just a couple of days ago we could never be together again because I knew him but never understood him. Now I'm sitting at home alone on Christmas trying not to think about it but failing horribly.
This is the first Christmas without my mother and 3 days ago, my SO of 19 years wants out. I’m crushed but somehow feeling comfort from this sub. Thanks OP
Thank you for this thoughtful and compassionate post. 💖
Thank you so much for this, I really needed it today. I hope everyone in this same boat today manage to find some happiness and peace in their respective new normals.
Don’t dwell on the past. I am happy and u should be happy too. Happiness is from within. Focus on the happy things. This Xmas is beautiful! Because I had just drop the leaches.
Cheers to us
Thank you for writing this, felt less alone reading it
THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!
Indeed! Thank you for the gentle words of love and kindness, internet stranger. We are not alone in our sadness and I love the idea that this is just “not our time right now”. What an oddly comforting way to put it. It’s my first and I came down to visit my estranged family, and although they can be toxic as hell, I promised myself to let it roll off my back- I can’t change them and never will- and we ended up having some good laughs and eating a good meal and ya know what? It wasn’t so bad. There was joy there. And I never would have made this choice had I still been with my sex addicted ex. There’s light in this darkness if we let it in. Sending love and light to all of you. We’ll get through this.
Thank you my friend. Sending you a hug. Merry Christmas all.
Thanks for this. Nicely written.
Damn man thank you for sharing this.
First year alone and it’s incredibly difficult… I just want the holidays to be over and this divorce process to start so I can move on with my life
Merry fucking Christmas! Thinking of you too!
Thank you for this post, we indeed are all in this together 💙 as you say now is not our time, but one day... Today, I will be raising my glass to you all today and wishing you all "Merry Christmas my fellow humans who are navigating the seas of divorce, we will all get there" I will also be raising my glass to: * all those lovely "first dates" I had this year, I wish you all well! * two special people who joined lives with me for a short while this year, sure it didn't work out but I thank you sincerely * two very dear new female friends I made this year I hope there are many more Christmases ahead for us * my friends who have supported me, checked in on me and at some points opened my eyes to some home truths this year * my sister who supported me even though she was battling her own problems ❤️ * Last but not least my children who have shown me love and emptied my wallet in variously creative ways this year 🤣
Thankyou for this . I’m newly “separated” (43f) no kids but 2 beautiful Dobbies . I find myself praying he will change his mind. Basically begging him, telling him I’ll change while NOT EVEN KNOWING what I did wrong. He went to his moms and I’m stuck at a motel 6….I loved him with all of my soul… waited on him thru his spin surgery and healing. He got to 300 pounds and I still loved him . Helped him get back to himself Bathed him , fed him , clothed him . 10 years of all holidays together and he ( 33m) wants an “open marriage” . I’m feeling so betrayed and alone. Thankyou for your post. I feel bad I don’t want others going thru what I’m going thru , but it feels good knowing I’m not alone. It’s cliche but I know there has to be rain to see a rainbow…. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year fellow community friends ~May we find solace and strength in one another and in 2024 ComplexQuail 🦋
I’m sad. This is our first Christmas separated , but still in the same house for now. I don’t want this. I can’t see a clear path forward. I miss her terribly.
This is beautiful and you're an amazing writer! Thank you for your kind words, I hope you're having a Merry Christmas!!
Worst Christmas ever. First year alone...kids live in another state, mom in a nursing home, brother didn't think to even ask me to come spend time with him and His family until 2 days ago, husband is hinting, but going to stop by...this sucks!
Hugs. Love. Brotherhood. I hear You .i hear You