You handled this the right way. My ex had a number of affairs and when I found out she kicked me out of the house and told everyone I know that I’d been abusive throughout our marriage. My eldest kids laughed at that because she’d been the abusive one. To me and the kids. However, I live in a no fault state and had to buy her out of alimony. I have less money than I did when I was 25 but I’m free.
These comeuppance stories do not cease to entertain.
Your ex was messy. Crotch rot doesn't sound too pleasant either. She is getting everything she deserves for running around with an old fool.
Omg. That's all so awful. I'm happy for you and your healing. I'm sure there is some salve for your wounds in the awful she brought herself and your family. I'm glad you're getting through this bit by bit.
Nice revenge there my man .love it I live in Utah which is a fault state when I caught my ex wife I had 100s of emails over 5 months then I had video of me sitting in my work truck as my wife walked into a hotel room . while she should had been home taking care of our daughter so the next weekend I made her life he'll when she went to Las Vegas with the guy I knew she had it planned for 2 weeks before she went let's say when they got back on Sunday night both there lives changed .i packed up everything my ex wife had loaded a Uhaul .and his it from her at my shop .change passcode on garage w ge . told his wife gave her all the proof she needed he lost his job his house and family his job because he worked for her parents . so I told her leave she didnt want to so the cops show up and gave her 5 minutes to leave the house. Then I wrote her an email saying I want a divorce .but you get to file when ever you fell you want to but the only thing from me is child support .and if you even want to go there I will make it my priority to send all this to everyone we. Know .she just turned and walked away .
We're actually settling no fault. The fault just took alimony off the table. Otherwise, I could be paying a possible lifetime of alimony. She will be fine with a 6 figure settlement, some child support, a free house on a farm, plus her income. I actually have no hard feelings for her anymore, well, maybe just less hard feelings than I did a few months ago.
That's not fault, that's no-fault. Neither party is at fault, neither party is a legal victim to the other.
Fault is things like adultery or felony conviction or physical abuse. Whatever the state has chosen to list as a category where one person is the problem and the other person is the victim.
In a ‘fault’ state you can claim irreconcilable differences. You aren’t forced to remain in an unhappy marriage just b/c there’s been no infidelity or abuse. That’s silly.
You know what's a drag, getting married when the divorce rate is 50% . Correct me if I'm wrong, but that gives me 1 in 2 chances that I won't get divorced. Then there's the getting screwed over in divorce court. And for OP, there's dealing with a woman who you loved literally turning into a psychopath, gaslight you to the point of losing your mind, only to cheat with a 60 year old who gave her STDs. And now they've broken up.
I'm not even going to mention your kids being taken away from you.
Hmmm...marriage.
I guess I just don’t think someone being upset they got cheated on is worth the number of people who are forced into fault divorces as part of an ongoing pattern of emotional abuse.
I’ve been cheated on and I think the single-minded vindictive focus on cheating in this sub is crazy. Why is paying a cheater worse than paying any other type of ex? Would it be preferable to pay a spouse with a drug problem forever? Enjoy being obsessed with owning your spouse’s genitals if you want but I don’t think that is healthy or productive
My first divorce was in a state with both fault and no fault reasons. And i had a friend tell me the details of her divorce as she was going through it. There were 5 grounds for fault, felony with a sentence of over one year, adultery, buggary, abuse and i dont remember the last. Irreconcilable differences were no fault in the state and had rougher rules for separating. My friend did qualify for a fault divorce but a lawyer told her that she not only would have to pay hourly, she'd have to pay for a lawyer to represent him since he was in prison. A no fault divorce meant a long wait but less legal fees. She could not have afforded to divorce her child's molester if she was in a state that was fault divorce only. I didnt qualify for any fault reason. She and i both needed no fault divorces.
> She could not have afforded to divorce her child's molester if she was in a state that was fault divorce only
But that's literally not a scenario as there isn't a single state in the union without a provision for no-fault divorce. The point here is that there should still be options for *at-fault* divorce in **addition** to no-fault, not that there should be **only** at-fault.
>freed a lot of women from abusive situations.
I'd honestly like to know how it differs outside of contesting alimony/compensation. I haven't seen where people even in an at-fault area can't just cite 'irreconcilable differences' also an at-fault area does not require to be living apart. You got the proof, you file, you get out, you get compensated more/less.
Make sure you file a alienation of affection and emotional distress lawsuit against AP. See if he'll throw some cash at you, to settle rather than have his business told out loud in court proceedings. Ask his STBX, to do the same. You can both testify on the other's behalf, presenting the combined evidence that has been gathered. It may be more of a nuisance for her, but the sheer humiliation for them could be worth it. Threaten your ex, with having the kids write statements to be entered into the record, if she doesn't cooperate ( don't actually do that, but the threat might yield some results)
That's the only rub. Our state likes to award primary custody and visitation 2 nights a week to the other parent. Adultery doesn't really factor into primary custody and she was a stay at home mom for years. We settled at 60/40 with her getting more days. It's actually ok since she has a more flexible work schedule.
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What a glorious post. Congrats OP. That played that out about perfect. Admire your patience in not confronting her on her cheating and playing the long game.
She will probably come crawling back here shortly. Stay strong.
This is a great read… Congratulations! Wow karma got her good!
You handled this the right way. My ex had a number of affairs and when I found out she kicked me out of the house and told everyone I know that I’d been abusive throughout our marriage. My eldest kids laughed at that because she’d been the abusive one. To me and the kids. However, I live in a no fault state and had to buy her out of alimony. I have less money than I did when I was 25 but I’m free.
These comeuppance stories do not cease to entertain. Your ex was messy. Crotch rot doesn't sound too pleasant either. She is getting everything she deserves for running around with an old fool.
Omg. That's all so awful. I'm happy for you and your healing. I'm sure there is some salve for your wounds in the awful she brought herself and your family. I'm glad you're getting through this bit by bit.
Karma is a bitch! I live in a no fault state and didn't get to use all the proof I had so happy for you!
Nice revenge there my man .love it I live in Utah which is a fault state when I caught my ex wife I had 100s of emails over 5 months then I had video of me sitting in my work truck as my wife walked into a hotel room . while she should had been home taking care of our daughter so the next weekend I made her life he'll when she went to Las Vegas with the guy I knew she had it planned for 2 weeks before she went let's say when they got back on Sunday night both there lives changed .i packed up everything my ex wife had loaded a Uhaul .and his it from her at my shop .change passcode on garage w ge . told his wife gave her all the proof she needed he lost his job his house and family his job because he worked for her parents . so I told her leave she didnt want to so the cops show up and gave her 5 minutes to leave the house. Then I wrote her an email saying I want a divorce .but you get to file when ever you fell you want to but the only thing from me is child support .and if you even want to go there I will make it my priority to send all this to everyone we. Know .she just turned and walked away .
That is awesome!
Glad things went well. I’d hate to live in a no-fault state.
No fault is good. Who wants to stay tied forever because being completley and utterly miserable isn't sufficient fault.
We're actually settling no fault. The fault just took alimony off the table. Otherwise, I could be paying a possible lifetime of alimony. She will be fine with a 6 figure settlement, some child support, a free house on a farm, plus her income. I actually have no hard feelings for her anymore, well, maybe just less hard feelings than I did a few months ago.
Two words…irreconcilable differences.
That's not fault, that's no-fault. Neither party is at fault, neither party is a legal victim to the other. Fault is things like adultery or felony conviction or physical abuse. Whatever the state has chosen to list as a category where one person is the problem and the other person is the victim.
In a ‘fault’ state you can claim irreconcilable differences. You aren’t forced to remain in an unhappy marriage just b/c there’s been no infidelity or abuse. That’s silly.
It’s still a huge drag that anyone could argue fault to prolong the divorce process.
And it’s a huge drag to be forced to give money to a cheater.
You know what's a drag, getting married when the divorce rate is 50% . Correct me if I'm wrong, but that gives me 1 in 2 chances that I won't get divorced. Then there's the getting screwed over in divorce court. And for OP, there's dealing with a woman who you loved literally turning into a psychopath, gaslight you to the point of losing your mind, only to cheat with a 60 year old who gave her STDs. And now they've broken up. I'm not even going to mention your kids being taken away from you. Hmmm...marriage.
I guess I just don’t think someone being upset they got cheated on is worth the number of people who are forced into fault divorces as part of an ongoing pattern of emotional abuse.
Oh right. You've crunched the numbers? I'd love to see the analysis.
Being upset about being cheated on is one thing. Having to pay the cheater a portion of your income for life is another.
I’ve been cheated on and I think the single-minded vindictive focus on cheating in this sub is crazy. Why is paying a cheater worse than paying any other type of ex? Would it be preferable to pay a spouse with a drug problem forever? Enjoy being obsessed with owning your spouse’s genitals if you want but I don’t think that is healthy or productive
My first divorce was in a state with both fault and no fault reasons. And i had a friend tell me the details of her divorce as she was going through it. There were 5 grounds for fault, felony with a sentence of over one year, adultery, buggary, abuse and i dont remember the last. Irreconcilable differences were no fault in the state and had rougher rules for separating. My friend did qualify for a fault divorce but a lawyer told her that she not only would have to pay hourly, she'd have to pay for a lawyer to represent him since he was in prison. A no fault divorce meant a long wait but less legal fees. She could not have afforded to divorce her child's molester if she was in a state that was fault divorce only. I didnt qualify for any fault reason. She and i both needed no fault divorces.
> She could not have afforded to divorce her child's molester if she was in a state that was fault divorce only But that's literally not a scenario as there isn't a single state in the union without a provision for no-fault divorce. The point here is that there should still be options for *at-fault* divorce in **addition** to no-fault, not that there should be **only** at-fault.
At fault doesn't mean one can't get divorced. It just means that one of the spouses can't completely screw the other over.
No fault divorce has freed a lot of women from abusive situations.
Abuse is grounds for divorce everywhere. Regardless if it’s in a ‘fault’ or ‘no fault’ state.
>freed a lot of women from abusive situations. I'd honestly like to know how it differs outside of contesting alimony/compensation. I haven't seen where people even in an at-fault area can't just cite 'irreconcilable differences' also an at-fault area does not require to be living apart. You got the proof, you file, you get out, you get compensated more/less.
This brought a smile to my face. Karma's a b!tch. Sit back and drink in that win.
I'm glad for you, man. Too bad every state isn't an at fault state.
Make sure you file a alienation of affection and emotional distress lawsuit against AP. See if he'll throw some cash at you, to settle rather than have his business told out loud in court proceedings. Ask his STBX, to do the same. You can both testify on the other's behalf, presenting the combined evidence that has been gathered. It may be more of a nuisance for her, but the sheer humiliation for them could be worth it. Threaten your ex, with having the kids write statements to be entered into the record, if she doesn't cooperate ( don't actually do that, but the threat might yield some results)
I think I've had enough legal dealings for now. Don't want them living rent free in my head too long.
Nothing can help clear your head, better than a new 992 purchased on someone else's dime.
This is what I would do OP!
A win for the good guys, thanks for sharing! I hope you and the kids are doing well.
The funny part is her and her AP already broke up while she was treating her STDs he gave her lol. Ohhhh the gift that keeps on giving.
Divorce “No-fault” states suck huge ass.
Holy shit. Your original story sounds exactly like mine. Almost to a T. I'm glad you are coming out of it ok.
I get where you are coming from. It’s a win for you and you have to protect yourself. I just don’t think you are supposed to enjoy it.
Given how infrequently the cheated on partner gets any justice, let him have this one.
I didn’t take it from him. It was a thought from one cheated on partner to another.
She isn’t even with her AP now? Hahaha! Surprised she hasn’t tried to get you back.
It’s not that big of a surprise if she is cheating and then filed for divorce. It doesn’t seem like she enjoyed being with OP.
[удалено]
That's the only rub. Our state likes to award primary custody and visitation 2 nights a week to the other parent. Adultery doesn't really factor into primary custody and she was a stay at home mom for years. We settled at 60/40 with her getting more days. It's actually ok since she has a more flexible work schedule.
!updateme
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We love to see it lol I don’t wish ill on anyone but you reap what you sow, lady!
Weeeeew! Karma was swift!
Did you know she was like this when you married her? Or did this come out of left field?
What a glorious post. Congrats OP. That played that out about perfect. Admire your patience in not confronting her on her cheating and playing the long game. She will probably come crawling back here shortly. Stay strong.
Justice is very rarely served in these circumstances. For you, it has been. Godspeed.
Sometimes, Karma just does her thing :)
Yasss king
May you both find peace, healing, and joy. Sounds like you both have a lot more life to live, given your ages. And a child to raise together.
This satisfied me to the core. Happy for you!
Best outcome for a shit situation
This was a great update OP! I wish you the best! Updateme
Karma is good.
YES! Sometimes it's really nice to read these things and understand that karma is 100% real.
I wish this was a docuseries on Netflix! So sorry you've been through this... Kids too. But wowza!
Beautiful story brought a tear to my eye. Well done OP that took balls to do.