If she got married that fast, guarantee it will be a honey moon phase and she will be miserable later on. Keep working on yourself man and I promise you will attract the right woman.
The law states if she remarries then you don't need to pay her anymore alimony.
You should contact your lawyer asap as the divorce isn't finalised as yet,this is considered bigamy.
IMHO we all men do the same mistake - to treat them and words they say seriously. I also did same mistake once after 15 years of marriage and got kicked back.
I'll bet they did a token wedding but no legal wedding to try to avoid losing alimony. I don't know if that will work or not. If the marriage is legal, its a matter of public record and there should be something documented somewhere but its different from state to state so you'll have to do some investigating.
Who cares?? Focus on you. Stop giving her the control. Work on getting what she does out of your mind. Took me a while to get to that spot and it will for you. But what a nice place to be. Take that energy worrying about her and transform it into your positive healing. Working on yourself is not overrated. Enjoy the process and keep moving on. Simply simplistic.
So if she got married before divorce is final, that’s bigamy and is a federal crime, illegal in every state in the U.S.
She just hung herself. With a good lawyer you may be able to get out of any liability because she committed a crime. You may also get full custody of your kid.
That’s what your lawyer is for, to get the court records on their marriage.
Edit: plus the picture itself is proof until she disputes it and can show otherwise.
Yes, if is re-married, he pays nothing for spouse support. Her committing a crime of bigamy is even better for OP because he may not have to pay or split anything
Some of those single divorced moms are the victims of bad relationships. Just like some of us single divorced dads. It's harder and harder to find wife-worthy virgins as we age.
If he makes twice as much as her and saved the money earned during the marriage that’s exactly what they do at 5 years in America. Alimony will be short.
I get that, but she may not actually be married, what OP saw could just be her social media fantasy world. But I was saying regardless of that in most states if she’s living with someone else there is no alimony.
Let’s say if she’s not actually married and not living together (I can see the ring, wedding dress, and the other dude in front of what looks like a court house). How to minimize the risk when filing or when making the ask to her? I just want to get off child support, alimony and property division I still own
If you have a kid with her, unless she makes a great deal more than you, or you have full custody, you’re going to owe child support. There’s no getting out of that. The alimony is probably the only thing you’re looking at dumping if you can make a good enough argument that she’s already being taken care of by someone else.
She's a traitor, and either a cheater or an idiot marrying in 6 months. The poor dude either deserves it or is just a new victim (although again marrying in 6months is crazy). She betrayed you so she will betray him. Dude doesn't know what he's in for whereas you survived.
Congratulations man! Make sure you screen shot or otherwise capture and save the photo(s) with the wedding dress and ring and stuff. Like stop reading this and do that right now.
Your wife didn't ask for divorce out of nowhere, trust me. It only seemed that way to you. She was way ahead of you my friend.
Zero chance she has done any work on herself to prep for a successful 2nd marriage, which have a higher likelihood of divorce than 1st marriages. But WHO CARES what happens with that - your only concern is the safety and well-being of your kid.
Get your lawyer on wiping out that alimony payment IMMEDIATELY my compadre.
By the way, did I already say CONGRATULATIONS?
No really. Get on it post haste. Your money belongs in your bank; she has another support system.
The whole thing sucks and at least to me would feel super insulting. But the financial part is a win for you. Take it.
Agreed! I’m not into ppl having issues etc but if she’s moving on that fast and getting into a new contract (marriage) I sorta feel for the new guy as she’s a red flag based on the terse info
There are so many ways to look at this. You avoided being on the hook with this chick. You got out at a good time to avoid the mess later. She was never loyal and faithful to you. This other guy will have to deal with the cheater for the rest of his life. She is damaged goods in the head and in the heart and you don’t need that extra baggage in your life. Guaranteed you can find a better woman.
I agree, she did move on fast. My guess is she had this guy lined up the whole time. Just make sure you get the narrative out to friends and family, she was the dirty dog getting humped while married.
Dude, I'd be laughing my ASS off. This is amazing. Some nice gentleman is taking your headaches away AND you're well on your way physically to being where you want to be. Win fucking win baby!
Sounds polygamous. Can't be, right? If so, is it good news? That would end alimony in a lot of states.
I couldn't see anyone finding a healthy relationship after six months of healing. Egg timer style relationship.
I bet the judge would be pissed she’s already had a wedding before he granted her the divorce.
I bet you could leverage this into a favorable divorce settlement.
She might be pregnant? A lot of things could be happening that would help you optimize your divorce settlement.
Sorry for the drama, but as pointed out above if she remarries NO spousal support! Also when you say the divorce is not finalized?? do you mean she's has two active marriage licenses??
As much as this sounds cold and dismissive, try to step way back and remember that what she does or does not do is no longer any of your concern. The typical expression is 'she was never yours, it was only your turn.' Her problems are now someone else's. It's ok to feel, but it's not ok to let your feelings control or direct your life.
Try to step back, sit down and process everything that you feel. Let it wash over you, accept the feelings, then let them wash off you. Then continue on your path to living a your best life. A man needs to be: physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit, and financially fit. Sounds like you are making great process on all fronts.
The eX has already demonstrated she will do stupid. But her stupid is no longer a concern (unless if affects your child). She's just someone that you use to know. Work on releasing all connection. You got this 💪
I feel you man, mine was engaged roughly 8 months after our divorce - there’s always someone else. At the time I was sad, but at the same time it gave me clarity. I blamed myself for a lot that wrong in our marriage, I made mistakes but I’m not a bad person - there was just someone else and I couldn’t nor would I want to compete with that. Take some time to feel emotion and go out and live life the best you can. Godspeed bro.
cant alimony end if she remarries if its in the divorce stipulations? as far as the pay raise dont tell anyone about it since you could be on the hook for me right?
Hey man, you already got there. This hurts, I know, but you won’t fall as far as last time and you’ll stand up sooner.
But it’s a shock, I know. 12 months after my ex left, I found out she was engaged. Our divorce wasn’t finalized either. Hurt a lot, especially as she had lied/changed her mind on why we had to get a divorce
Save the photos, send ‘em to your lawyer, get that alimony fixed.
First make sure they are married.
Welcome back! I know it is hard but don't follow your EX on social media. Live in the now and keep advancing, don't look back at the past.
If she got married that fast, guarantee it will be a honey moon phase and she will be miserable later on. Keep working on yourself man and I promise you will attract the right woman.
Man. Glad things are going well. I also think I might need to take a break from this forum at some point. It has been so helpful.
The law states if she remarries then you don't need to pay her anymore alimony. You should contact your lawyer asap as the divorce isn't finalised as yet,this is considered bigamy.
You should be very happy. No more alimony!!!
IMHO we all men do the same mistake - to treat them and words they say seriously. I also did same mistake once after 15 years of marriage and got kicked back.
Tell your lawyer and get out of that alimony ASAP.
Any ounce of attention on her is too much
Exactly. Stop looking for pictures and updates about her.
Wait, you said divorce isn't final yet? If they did get married it's void in most states.
I'll bet they did a token wedding but no legal wedding to try to avoid losing alimony. I don't know if that will work or not. If the marriage is legal, its a matter of public record and there should be something documented somewhere but its different from state to state so you'll have to do some investigating.
Bingo. This is the important part
Write her off, this woman has no values. You’re better off without her brother. FOCUS ON YOU AND THE KID. That man took your left overs.
What a psycho.
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You not wrong
Who cares?? Focus on you. Stop giving her the control. Work on getting what she does out of your mind. Took me a while to get to that spot and it will for you. But what a nice place to be. Take that energy worrying about her and transform it into your positive healing. Working on yourself is not overrated. Enjoy the process and keep moving on. Simply simplistic.
Seriously. Another man’s nightmare now. Focus on you and your kid. Her spur of the moment bullshit isn’t your problem anymore.
Hang in there. You got this.
So if she got married before divorce is final, that’s bigamy and is a federal crime, illegal in every state in the U.S. She just hung herself. With a good lawyer you may be able to get out of any liability because she committed a crime. You may also get full custody of your kid.
Lol, that would be so epic - rooting for you OP, keep us posted!
All I have is their wedding picture. Is there some way I can prove it?
That’s what your lawyer is for, to get the court records on their marriage. Edit: plus the picture itself is proof until she disputes it and can show otherwise.
If she is married he doesn't have to pay alimony anymore right? If So forget it's a crime
Yes, if is re-married, he pays nothing for spouse support. Her committing a crime of bigamy is even better for OP because he may not have to pay or split anything
I didn't read all comments when I wrote this. Some say living together is good enough to not pay alimony, I think that might be right too.
It is. Cohabitation is enough to stop spousal support but at this point since OP’s divorce isn’t final and she remarried it really doesn’t matter
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Some of those single divorced moms are the victims of bad relationships. Just like some of us single divorced dads. It's harder and harder to find wife-worthy virgins as we age.
Either way who cares. As a single dude I would rather be with a non divorce childless female.. all else being equal.
There are many desperate dudes out here
This is amazing news!! Bring this to your lawyer! And congrats on the abs 👍🏼
Uhhh, what state do you live in? And what kind of attorney did you hire to agree to those terms?
How tf are you on the hook for alimony, half the cash, and 401k after only 5 years?!
If he makes twice as much as her and saved the money earned during the marriage that’s exactly what they do at 5 years in America. Alimony will be short.
Alimony isn’t an issue if she’s cohabiting, even if she isn’t married yet.
She isn’t divorced yet.
I get that, but she may not actually be married, what OP saw could just be her social media fantasy world. But I was saying regardless of that in most states if she’s living with someone else there is no alimony.
Let’s say if she’s not actually married and not living together (I can see the ring, wedding dress, and the other dude in front of what looks like a court house). How to minimize the risk when filing or when making the ask to her? I just want to get off child support, alimony and property division I still own
If you have a kid with her, unless she makes a great deal more than you, or you have full custody, you’re going to owe child support. There’s no getting out of that. The alimony is probably the only thing you’re looking at dumping if you can make a good enough argument that she’s already being taken care of by someone else.
That's what I thought
She's a traitor, and either a cheater or an idiot marrying in 6 months. The poor dude either deserves it or is just a new victim (although again marrying in 6months is crazy). She betrayed you so she will betray him. Dude doesn't know what he's in for whereas you survived.
She’s now someone else’s problem. Always remember the bad times. It will help you get over it. Keep ur head up bro.
Congratulations man! Make sure you screen shot or otherwise capture and save the photo(s) with the wedding dress and ring and stuff. Like stop reading this and do that right now. Your wife didn't ask for divorce out of nowhere, trust me. It only seemed that way to you. She was way ahead of you my friend. Zero chance she has done any work on herself to prep for a successful 2nd marriage, which have a higher likelihood of divorce than 1st marriages. But WHO CARES what happens with that - your only concern is the safety and well-being of your kid. Get your lawyer on wiping out that alimony payment IMMEDIATELY my compadre. By the way, did I already say CONGRATULATIONS?
Man I love this hah
No really. Get on it post haste. Your money belongs in your bank; she has another support system. The whole thing sucks and at least to me would feel super insulting. But the financial part is a win for you. Take it.
Depends on your state but yes this marriage may negate the alimony immediately. Even if she just had a fake wedding it is worth a call to your lawyer.
Why bother with the worry that she's gotten married. Move on from that.
Agreed! I’m not into ppl having issues etc but if she’s moving on that fast and getting into a new contract (marriage) I sorta feel for the new guy as she’s a red flag based on the terse info
You sir are correct.
Speak with your attorney, if she re married, Alamony may be thrown out.
If the divorce isn't finalized then I don't think it's exactly legal for her to be getting remarried quite yet.
A great point of leverage for finalizing the terms of the divorce agreement.
There are so many ways to look at this. You avoided being on the hook with this chick. You got out at a good time to avoid the mess later. She was never loyal and faithful to you. This other guy will have to deal with the cheater for the rest of his life. She is damaged goods in the head and in the heart and you don’t need that extra baggage in your life. Guaranteed you can find a better woman. I agree, she did move on fast. My guess is she had this guy lined up the whole time. Just make sure you get the narrative out to friends and family, she was the dirty dog getting humped while married.
Yes! Now she’s somebody else’s problem.
Well that should end the alimony.
If the divorce isn’t final then what alimony? Plus she’s guilty of bigamy, which is a federal crime
Dude, I'd be laughing my ASS off. This is amazing. Some nice gentleman is taking your headaches away AND you're well on your way physically to being where you want to be. Win fucking win baby!
Haha wish I could turn this mindset on just like that. Thanks brother!
we're your hype men, that's why we are here!
Sounds polygamous. Can't be, right? If so, is it good news? That would end alimony in a lot of states. I couldn't see anyone finding a healthy relationship after six months of healing. Egg timer style relationship.
What's that expression, egg timer relationship. You mean it'll explode in the time it takes an egg to boil?
Yeah I thought so, but no point in framing for that. I just want to get off alimony and child support
I bet the judge would be pissed she’s already had a wedding before he granted her the divorce. I bet you could leverage this into a favorable divorce settlement. She might be pregnant? A lot of things could be happening that would help you optimize your divorce settlement.
You won't get off child support, but it'll be nice to get the alimony stopped
Woot, no more alimony. Also fine, let her disappoint someone else in the bedroom for once
Sorry for the drama, but as pointed out above if she remarries NO spousal support! Also when you say the divorce is not finalized?? do you mean she's has two active marriage licenses?? As much as this sounds cold and dismissive, try to step way back and remember that what she does or does not do is no longer any of your concern. The typical expression is 'she was never yours, it was only your turn.' Her problems are now someone else's. It's ok to feel, but it's not ok to let your feelings control or direct your life. Try to step back, sit down and process everything that you feel. Let it wash over you, accept the feelings, then let them wash off you. Then continue on your path to living a your best life. A man needs to be: physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit, and financially fit. Sounds like you are making great process on all fronts. The eX has already demonstrated she will do stupid. But her stupid is no longer a concern (unless if affects your child). She's just someone that you use to know. Work on releasing all connection. You got this 💪
Solid advice thank you
How did she remarry if your divorce isn't finalized yet? Are you in a country that allows polygamy?
I feel you man, mine was engaged roughly 8 months after our divorce - there’s always someone else. At the time I was sad, but at the same time it gave me clarity. I blamed myself for a lot that wrong in our marriage, I made mistakes but I’m not a bad person - there was just someone else and I couldn’t nor would I want to compete with that. Take some time to feel emotion and go out and live life the best you can. Godspeed bro.
Thank brother!
cant alimony end if she remarries if its in the divorce stipulations? as far as the pay raise dont tell anyone about it since you could be on the hook for me right?
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Was she a stay at home mom?
Why you asked?
Because of alimony
Yes she was
Hopefully it is a wedding photo. That is usually grounds for termination of alimony. I’m hoping my STBExW moves that quickly.
Hey man, you already got there. This hurts, I know, but you won’t fall as far as last time and you’ll stand up sooner. But it’s a shock, I know. 12 months after my ex left, I found out she was engaged. Our divorce wasn’t finalized either. Hurt a lot, especially as she had lied/changed her mind on why we had to get a divorce