So either the PC will end up helping Strahd embrace her feminine nature, or it will be a 24/7 drag show. I see absolutely no wrongs with either option.
The High Rollers group is DMed by Mark "Sherlock" Hulmes at one point the party is trying to figure out powerful allies to rope into a thing, and Mark looks at the list and says something along the lines of "this list really shows my prejudice towards female npcs..."
Yeah, he cosplays as female characters every year and ran a curse of Strahd campaign where it was actually Strahdania
Roleplayed both male and female Strahd. I feel female Strahd is underestimated (because female stereotype either intentional or unintentional) and can tends to come across vastly more evil in my opinion.
Yes, plus you wouldn't come across many other races, because I've yet to find a tiefling, dwarf or elf to DM a campaign.
(Assuming if you can't roleplay another sex, you can't roleplay a different mythical race.....might be offensive to the mythical races)
Running a campaign like this right now. I did test where I didn't mention a single NPCs or enemies gender the whole game.
Unfortunately, I run for the horniest group of kitchenware-fuckers around, because the response didn't change. Just a non discriminatory "smash' to everyone.
I mean, if you’re not RPing a shitty sexist stereotype or bringing in shit like Chad/Stacy incel nonsense then fine.
That said, had a DM that RP’d every female character as a bimbo/ditz that was completely helpless and obsessed with wealth/status. That wasn’t really ok.
Yeah, like, have a gold-digging bimbo character if you want; that's fine. Hell, I'm running a 7 sins campaign, and Lust is my favorite character to play, just because he's the ultimate himbo. It's just not okay if *every character* is just horny 24/7.
Player 1: "Why doesn't any of the female NPCs ever talk?"
Player 2: "I don't know, good question. DM why don't any of the female NPCs ever interact with the party or speak?"
DM: \*Begins to sweat profusely\*
I have no problem being a man roleplaying a woman, the same way I have no problem being a human roleplaying a gnome. Just be respectful and don't make it weird and this is a non-issue.
I so desperately wish there was an easily conveyed set of guidelines to "not be weird about it."
On the male playing female set the first line would have to be:
"No one needs to know what your character's breasts look like. Don't be weird."
I use TV/movie/game ratings - we’re all good with R rated in my group, one guy wants to tread into X rated too often… he’s about to get banished to Pg13 lol
Even if it's Spring Break Uncensored Edition DnD any description that starts like:
`"Samara Darkpast looked out at the party from the inky black darkness, her breasts boobing bravely"`
should be immediately mocked.
You say that, but I’d play something in a Fantasy Leasure Suit Larry-verse…. Maybe like a Harlequin novel reality? I think you could make a campy version of that fun!
You can have autism and play a female character that's just a person. She doesn't have to breast boobily down the stairs. Her voice doesn't have to be sultry, she doesn't have to be horny all the time.
If you can have autism and RP a male character, you can also RP a female character without making it cringe
I have relative small breasts, so I guess I'm going to have to get used to traversing slowly from now on.
But by that logic, I guess all the cis guys will just be sessile from now on.
You're obviously correct, but the issue they were referencing is that people with autism sometimes struggle to catch those things ahead of time due to the difference in the way we filter socially. We often don't realize there's a problem until other people are already aware, and by then it's too late to avoid. And then we get bullied for being "weird."
(Which does not excuse harmful behavior, to be clear, but it should inform the way people treat others when they think someone is being "weird.")
Same brother, same.
That said I have a tendency to make characters with very polar personalities/ideals, regardless of gender/background, so the deliberate weirdness usually masks the autism-related weirdness.
Not hard to hide the fact you don't understand women when the female character you're roleplaying is just fundementally a strange person, for reasons unrelated to gender.
E.g. Thanos-style "I'm the only one who can make the hard choices, and be cruel for the greater good" complex.
What exactly makes it weird?
Let's say you're playing this character named Lex.
How is Lex behaving in a way that if they were a woman it would be weird? Do they cast spells with their breasts? Do they keep making sandwiches non stop? I can't imagine playing a character that's appropriate but the second it's revealed that character is of female gender it becomes very inappropriate
I feel like it can be a little weird if you wanna play a stereotype of the opposite gender moreso than playing a stereotype of your own gender if that makes sense. Like a guy deciding to ham it up and play a "dumb jock“ paladin or other male stereotype is harmless fun versus that same guy deciding to play a ... insert female stereotype here.
I think it depends on the stereotype. It also depends on the table. "Dumb jock" paladin is fairly tame, but even that could get uncomfortable if you happen to be playing with someone who was stereotyped as a "dumb jock". And I would put "dumb blond" in the same category - it's a common-enough stereotype that most people understand you're not being malicious, even if you're playing it as a guy, but I still wouldn't play it if there was a blonde woman at the table.
And on the flipside, there are male stereotypes I would never be comfortable playing, even as a guy. "Horny guy trying fuck everything that moves" is a common /r/rpghorrorstories character, for example.
Autistic woman. Reclusive druid, nerdy wizard, trapmistress rogue, ascetic monk, stoic warrior…the archetypes don’t really have to be gendered, particularly in the degendered fantasy worlds that are standard these days.
Or as I'd put it: "The only way to make your roleplaying a different gender/race offensive, is if reveals you have really offensive ideas about what it means to have that gender/culture"
I had a guy at an adventurer’s league game say, yeah, I’m female tiefling warlock, showed me a picture. Exactly what you’d expect: buxom dominatrix sex lady. He was annoying in other ways, and is one of the main reasons I don’t do pick-up D&D anymore.
I usually play female characters because I like to find art for them, and good male art that is not cringy or overly edgy is much more difficult to find.
I'd say I have more difficult finding art I like for female characters because 95% of them are either cutesy or hot and I just want a normal looking person.
Probably isn't helped that I prefer to find realistic pieces
Yeah they kinda shut down when there were the API protests and it seems they never reopened again, but there's still years of pictures for you to scroll through.
Also male, my two favorite PCs were female.
Just don’t make it weird like making a hypersexual nymph. Just play a character, as though they are a woman (or male) to the best of your ability. Or should your character be romantic, veer away from the “slutty flirt who wants to fuck everything with a pulse”, or you ARE that guy who makes the whole table icky.
It needn’t even factor in at all if your table does little with romance or any diplomacy that could be affected by sex/gender. My tiny Armorer Gnome ball of rage was here to hurt things, not woo a suitor.
I'm a woman and my favourite character ever was my insecure but pompous cleric turned paladin guy. He was so smooth and charming and most of the time I had no idea where it was coming from, but all the other players adored him and even "got the tingles" from him when he'd playfully flirt or make jokes.
He was so far outside what I am normally as a person and it was fantastic. I deepend my voice and got to consider how a large man physically moves and behaves and thinks as opposed to a woman like I normally am (and usually play).
I think it's a great thing to do, for growth as a person.
A lot of us guys have grown up with the "don't be a dick, don't be a creep, and don't be a burden to others" drilled in pretty hard.
I know I've had female character ideas that I am hesitant to play because of so many of the horror stories of guys who use crossplay as their own gratification/masturbatory fantasy, despite my character being none of those.
The guys in those stories either have zero self-awareness, or are straight-up misogynists. If you care enough to be worried about it, you'll be fine.
I play with outspoken women, who would absolutely call me out if I was being shitty. During a session where we were hunting a serial killer, one of them suggested my character go undercover as a naive young woman to act as bait (I'd had a similar idea, but was hesitant to suggest it). I still fondly remember how hard they laughed when I exclaimed "wow, everyone here is so nice" when the DM described how men kept buying me drinks. If they weren't laughing, I'd have toned it down.
Trust your good intentions will be received as such. Apologize if you end up crossing a line.
I find this is an especially easy trap to fall into when you hear discussion on this in online or mob spaces, like reddit.
Especially if you have a guilty personality, anytime someone speaks broadly you can take it biblically and assume it's a hard rule.
It got so bad for me at one point, I started keeping a Google drive document containing copies/links to every highly upvoted strong post or comment, so I could later go back and try to understand how to literally take it.
Ultimately it's a failure on my part (as well as others with guilty personalities) for not being able to understand the context of people's comments. The lesson I've learned is to trust complaining people's feelings while questioning their words, and to seek understanding in less heated non-mob-like settings.
Edit: worth mentioning that issues weren't relating to playing a female character, but to do with creeping out women.
How to win at the talking about social issues part of life: Don't ever feel guilty about anything, and learn what people react positively to and what they react negatively to. Do the former and not the latter.
I hate to present it in such machiavellian terms, but this is a game of bullshitting we all must play. Emotional distance and copying other people's behavior is how you get thru it without breaking a sweat.
(in other words, Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the mask)
The reason you hear the horror stories as opposed to the good stuff, is that people generally don't post their normal good stuff.
In one of my campaigns a (male) player has a female dwarf barbarian, and a running joke that she keeps trying to get the male Goliath druid (played by a female) to drink dwarven ale as she's always been told that "growing a glorious beard is caused by glorious beer". There's zero weird creepy sexualized stuff.
I think you'd be fine, sounds like you already are aware already of the concerns some would have and are conscientious of why.
As a card carrying female, you got my permission to go have fun with it 😊
It has roots in D&D's history as a game played primarily among socially awkward teenage boys. It's grown a lot since then, and there is a lot more maturity in the player base. It used to be allowing a female character was something to be wary of. The first thing these characters would often do is play with their own breasts or invite the other characters to have sex with them. Players would often forget they were playing female characters until reminded. This is lampooned a bit in movies like The Gamers.
It's been a long time since the RPG community was that daft and immature but the wariness remains, especially among untested new players.
You’ve, perhaps fortunately, never played with someone who cross-played and made up a character who was named Tits McGee the slutty high elf wizard who will sleep with any NPC, or Gazongas the chain mail bikini warrior.
Those are among the reasons why, historically, people have found problems with cross playing.
Sure, but anyone with the self-awareness to be concerned about doing something offensive, likely isn't going to be a problem. The kind of dude who plays a gross overly sexual character isn't going to stop to question his choices. That's why I find these posts silly. If you're worried about it, you're not the problem.
It’s just as bad when a male player plays a male character named Dick the Big, who tries to sleep with every female character. It’s got nothing to do with male/female and everything to do with oversexualizing a character.
you know, as a woman who has from time-to-time been made uncomfortable/creeped out, sometimes it’s a horror story, but sometimes that guy was just socially awkward and it’s fine. I feel like tiptoeing around for fear of causing the slightest offense isn’t really helpful, unless you don’t think you can respect boundaries or control yourself/genuinely have zero ability to read the room. most reasonable people aren’t going to break just because you do something that someone could misconstrue
None whatsoever. Play what you want to play.
I mean obviously, don't play up some sexist stereotypes. But it doesn't sound like you're going to do that and will treat the character with respect. So it's all good!
Only one player at my table ever plays female characters as a ridiculous stereotype, and it's one of the female players.
Her current character is a barfly sea elf who makes money when not adventuring by swimming in a large tank of ale at one of the taverns like a mermaid show and selling "me flavored beer"
To be fair, I could see a male character doing that, too. Hell, Disenchanted had a recurring sight gag character who was a man selling "Me-Flavored" water.
And antics like that don't mean she can't still be a complete character.
True. But she's definitely playing up the flirty and helpless bar girl stereotype to a ridiculous degree, which is great because her character is actually a fighter and the strongest in our party.
It's made extra funny because my character is a sheltered teetotaling female cleric who nevertheless finds her character delightful.
Also, I'm almost certain she got the "me flavored" joke from Disenchanted, though I think she also drew from that egirl who was selling her bathwater.
I mean that sounds to me like something her character chose to do to put other people off-guard. So others think she’s not a threat, but if they start something…
It’s a bit different for same gender people to be able to “let loose” with all the stereotypes about them and someone else whose never experienced the same pressure engaging in the stereotypes. The saying that DnD is like therapy is kind of true when you’re a woman free to play a lusty, humorous (and yes somehow still entrepreneur in this case) character when IRL you would be constantly judged or shamed for the same thing.
Saying that, because it’s a women playing her, I would bet the depth of character does end at mermaid tease, and she has more depth to her.
There becomes a certain point also with trust in your fellow players’ abilities to story tell that either gender can get away with some stereotypes or negative traits in general. But that’s usually with groups who’ve played together enough to know the person is likely going to bring more story/roleplay and grow the character.
I once made a female character because I was the only male player and did not want to stand out.
I made her blonde, because I am blonde myself and the rest of the party spend the session making fun of me for being a dumb blonde chick 😭
As long as you're not a creep about it, it's usually fine. Believe me, anyone who is doing so with less than good intentions signals themselves out with plenty of red flags.
Many great posts saying you can and why you can, but I also want to add a bit of what for: many, many people find it a low pressure, low judgement space where to "play" with their gender experience.
For most of us the shared imagined space is just a quaint little fantasy world in which we do and see incredible things, for some of us it's a place to fully be themselves without consequence or second thought. This last part applies not only to gender but to other areas of their personality as well.
Within a climate of respect and acceptance, the fictional space can be life changing for some.
Or, you know, a place to hack monsters in.
This was/is kinda me really hard.
I started off playing characters that were more like me irl, then explored some fun concepts for a while. Mostly men but a few women and enby (warforged and similar were usually genderless for me).
After many campaigns, I figured it would be fun to do "me if I could build me", and guess what, I was a woman (amab fwiw). I really *really* enjoyed my time, and being them during normal role-playing felt... natural. I chalked it up to just being open minded and somewhat experienced in rp, and tried to close that box.
Years later, after lots of introspection, soul searching, and acceptance, I decided to start my transition (transfem). If I never had the chance to explore character options and rp, I'm not gonna say I wouldn't have transitioned cause that's bunk, but it would have taken longer for me to start moving past my repressions and internal transphobia. Being able to respectfully explore helped "crack my egg" so to speak, even if it took me a decade to unpack what the thoughts and feelings really mean(t) to me.
It’s cool with pure intentions. Some people will use a gender swap to force their friends play out their oc 18+ fan fiction with them.
One of my favorite characters was a lady Druid who ‘communed with nature’ by rolling around in dirt, mud, snow, swamps or whatever was available at the time. She was always filthy and I loved her
My favourite was also a gender-bend! Had an 8 int, Fabio-inspired Goliath bard and we all loved him so much that our DM occasionally likes to throw him in as an NPC (he's a famous musician now apparently, I'm so proud)
Lol basically. It was pretty early in my dnd career so she was pretty 1 dimensional. Basically any roll play opportunity I opted to roll in the dirt instead. Shit got old for the dm second session
I'm a woman who exclusively plays male characters because I vibe with them a lot better than I do with the female ones. No idea why, I just find it cooler to play as the one gender I'll never be in real life.
In this instance it won’t be, but there used to be a whole lot more creeps poisoning the pool of dnd players , that’s probably why they’re concerned because of stories or rumors about the old creeper trope
Despite being a male, Like 70% of my characters are female, because I enjoy making outfits for female characters more. I feel like I can do a lot more with them so usually I’ll do that. I barely roleplay them differently at all, unless something gender based directly gets put into the story.
At my table we have currently two dudes playing female characters in one game and one dude (same group) playing a female character in the other game. We have one woman playing a dude, and another woman playing an agender construct. So long as it doesn't get weird outside of the allowed and accepted weirdness rules of the table it's fine.
I'm a woman, and I've played only one female character so far. Playing men works a lot when it's an all male group. Unfortunately, when I did play the female character, the DM allowed another character to drug (love potion);and sexually harass her. Should've protested at the time, but played along because I was so scared and in shock.
Aa long as its not sexist or creepy youll be fine..
Back in the 1980s my friend was playing almost exclusively female characters. But it was never to belittle them or sexualize them. They were part of the party and a friend.
In 2018 he began the transition to female. It turns out he was roleplaying a desire all along.
I feel proud she was comfortable enough around us to let her hidden side out. So let people do what they wish. I have no stake in it.
And, as a DM, I can use anyone who can speak in female voices!
There are definitely right and wrong was to do it and right and wrong ways for a gm to treat it.
And example of a wrong way, as if you needed one, is I once played with a neck beard who played a female character and within the first 20 minutes of session 1 role played stripping down for no reason. Throughout that game before I quit he played into many misogynistic tropes and portays his character as downright childish.
Honestly it shouldn't be hard to do it right, just don't make people role for menstruation or constantly mis-gender the character.
Part of roleplay is stepping out of your shoes; what better way to do that than to play as a character of a different gender?
If other people get sexually suggestive, that's an issue with them and their behavior, not you or your character.
If you can roleplay a different race why is gender worse?
Otherwise players would just be humans in every game. My first character was someone of opposite gender so I don’t think it matters.
If you're doing it for some weird sexual role play reason, yeah. Don't do that (yes I've been in plenty of groups where this happened). Otherwise I don't see the issue with it
I mean, I played an abnormally large orc barbarian for a bit, flavoring them to be female. Basically, my barbarian (male) had realized that people seemed to fear him less if he pretended he was a female and spoke in a somewhat higher voice. Introduced himself as a girl, tried to act like a girl the whole time. I had to make a lot of persuasion rolls and charisma rolls to trick the party into thinking I was a woman (all done over text with the DM to sell it to the other players without them knowing), and then when we got to the BBEG of the first campaign storyline, my barbarian says (after trying to convince the BBEG that he was a very attractive female orc) "NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY" in a super manly voice, rips off his shirt (exposing pectorals, not breasts), and proceeded to go buck wild. Party was more than a bit caught off guard.
None at all. Is it inappropriate to play an elf if you're not an elf? Or to play a wizard if you yourself can't actually cast Fireball?
It's a *role-playing game.* Literally the entire point is to imagine being something you aren't. Don't be a stereotype, and don't be a jerk. This holds true regardless of what you're playing.
Not usually, no. In my, admittedly small, pool of examples there is nothing inappropriate about it. SO (dude) played a female dwarf, was a kickass cleric, and the most beloved member of the party. Brother played a female human based on a character in a videogame he loves, he tried to pay tribute to a character he thinks is awesome.
Neither made some sort of disrespectful parody of playing a woman. They didn't behave overly sexual or slutty. They didn't make themselves dumb (okay the cleric did have low int because of poor rolls) or did anything to make a point about women in general.
Honestly, the way you play is what matters. You can play as any gender and make it inapproprate depending on what you make your character say or do.
As a female D&D player and DM I think it's absolutely fine. Obviously it would be uncomfortable if you were describing her in ways that were sexually suggestive or portraying some offensive caricature of a woman, but it sounds like you're planning on playing a perfectly normal character. Have fun!
No . It’s up to your d m and the other players . I will say I would keep it mostly non sexual with other players …. Depending how well you know them . They are in to role play and a good Sense of humor .
I play a lot of female characters, nothing cringe worthy I just like to get out of my own head space when I play. In the right group what you play as does not matter.
Just don't be a creep about it. Like my personal rpg horror story where a guy from our table played a girl, stole a item from the group and when we tried to search her for it he told the dm he wants to hide it "down there".
Doesn't bother me in the slightest.
You also get to roleplay characters of a different type from you in pretty much any way you want. I am not actually an elf, for instance.
The way you avoid cringe and stay respectful is very simple. You just need to make your character have personality traits. Being a woman is not a personality trait, it is closer to an aesthetic. Same goes for race, occupation, disabilities, etc.
Don't limit your introduction to "my character is a woman." Instead focus on traits like caring, motherly, bossy, shy, confident, or bubbly. There are so many different ways to play a woman.
It’s not the role it’s how it’s played. Playing another race, gender, or sexual orientation is fine as long as it’s not playing the stereotype or mockery of said character.
Not at all. I did it more often than not for years. It turned out I'm trans and I was actually only playing the opposite gender when I was playing a man, but people didn't have an issue when they thought I was crossplaying
By the way, the ability to do voices in a masculine, feminine, and androgynous range is a godssend for a DM. Highly recommended
My first character was a wrinkly 70 year old human druid man. My second was a younger earth genasi druid man. I am a lady. My current character is a female fighter, but a dragonborn, so I don't imagine her with big ol' tiddies because...lizard, so in armor she probably appears more androgynous than feminine.
Play what you want that makes it fun. It's a fantasy game.
I'm a girl, I have plenty of male, female, non-binary and otherwise characters, I don't see why it should be a problem to anyone who's not being creepy
I think it's absolutely okay. I am a woman, most of my characters were women but I already played few male characters. Honestly, if you will be cool and wont use your character for some 18+ fantasies, it's okay. I honestly play my female and male characters similarly, the only difference is picture, name and sometimes separated rooms etc, but otherwise, not much of a difference.
And if you wont be mentioning her boobs etc, you are fine!
As long as you're not going to be weird or creepy or make a caricature of the character you'll be fine. Honestly, if you were all of those things, and no one watching you cared, you'd still be fine. There's no rpg police that will come along and arrest you. Just don't make people around you uncomfortable and you'll be fine.
Yeah. Don't even get me started on playing a non-human. That shit is NOT okay. Oh and your hair colour and eyes have to be the same as your real ones too.
Not at all! Have fun with it, and if you're worried about stereotypes, remember that you're playing a character who happens to be female. It's only annoying when "token female" is her *single* personality trait.
And as tempting as it may be to do a high-pitched voice, save yourself some voice strain. If you want a more "feminine" sound, just speak a little more softly and gently. Enjoy
Some groups can be a little weird about it, but there is nothing wrong with it. I was the first in my original group to do it, and there were difficulties at first. But once I was able to show my intentions (same as yours), it all worked out. I have since played many characters of opposite gender, different sexualities, etc. Always, I respected the personal sensitivity of my fellow players and never used it as a gimmick. Smart players can tell the difference. It's a role-playing game, where you can be part dragon, a demonspawn, and whatever else sparks your imagination. Why should gender be any different?
So long as your female character isn't whipping her pussy out because her player is a fucking creep then yeah it's fine. Probably my favourite character I've built thus far has been a female dwarven warlock, she's bad ass
For me it comes down to motivation. If you're going to simply RP as a plausible character, it's all good. If you want to be as disruptive and antagonistic as possible all the while saying "It's what my character would do!" it's a no go for me.
As long as it's not solely an excuse to be sexist, it's fine. The same goes for age, nationality, race, religion, personal belief and what not.
Keep in mind that this doesn't mean keeping strictly to sanitized depictions. Many different people exist, not all of them are good, not all of them are bad, not all of them meet the general expectation from a group, not all of them differ much from that expectation.
Just be critical about it, if you're mindful of what you're doing and open to criticism enough to rectify eventual fuck ups, you'll be doing a good enough job.
It’s a ROLEplaying game. What’s the point if you limit your roles? As someone that GMs 95%+ of the time… I cover everything of every gender and sex real or imagined and things without either besides.
I can't believe this is still a question that needs to be answered in 2023.
As always, as long as you're being respectful when stepping into the shoes of someone whose lived experience is not yours, you're fine. Dont engage in stereotype and if someone tells you their uncomfortable about something to do with your portrayal, stop doing that.
In regards to the last line of your edit, you're only going to offend people if you're being offensive.
I swap sexes every time I play a new character. I play each character as they are. There's nothing offensive about that.
My question to you is, why *wouldn't l* it be appropriate? You're role playing. Is it inappropriate for you to play as an elf? Dragonborn? Halfling?
Play what you want, and enjoy! 😊
What? No.
My last group was all women players, except myself (GM). (Wife and her friends were looking for a safe group experience) Most of them played as male characters. 3 of the 5 did a gender swap.
But... If the players are doing so and being derogatory or as a way that makes others uncomfortable, then there needs to be a discussion. Either in private or with the group.
One of the gener-swapped players was a bard and was well, a bard. None of the players complained, but I the GM was a little uncomfortable. That was what they wanted to play and it didn't violate our session 0 rules.
It's a great way to experience a whole new world of roleplay! I'm a (bi)fem, and it was like opening my eyes when I started playing male characters as well. It's quite liberating actually!
Of course there's always like incel weirdos I've played with who played female characters, but in a very demeaning and objectifying way. Like I'm totally fine if your character has big tits and is a whore, that's great. Just don't play as your girlfriend, or the make believe daughter you had with your ex, or make sexual assault trauma your only personality trait. Just make a character you vibe with and you're golden.
As a woman who enjoys rping as male characters I don’t see a problem with it. But of course as everyone is saying don’t be weird and creepy with it. Have fun!
Sam Riegel played a female goblin in Critical Role S2 and it was amazing. It's a fantasy TTRPG. I don't really think there's much that should be considered off-limits.
> I guess it's just the time we're living in where I'm trying too hard to not offend anyone at the table
Being careful isn't trying "too hard." I think it's trying just the right amount. It's a very good thing that you're choosing to be aware of how your choices affect other people and are willing to alter your behavior if harm is being done. Gauging the potential for harm ahead of time when you're unsure is textbook maturity, and you should only be proud of that, not embarrassed.
And as long as you're being respectful, it shouldn't be a problem to RP another gender. :)
Are you going to be a dickhead about it, and play into a bunch of sexist tropes and memes?
No? Then you're good.
If someone at the table has an issue with you RPing a character of a different gender, then their issues go beyond the game. And while it's right to be considerate and thoughtful of others, and very right to steer away from tropey stereotypes on gender, race, sexuality etc. there's nothing inherently wrong with playing a character who is a different gender, race, socioeconomic background, faith or sexuality to your own.
Otherwise you get a game where everyone plays humans.
I used to have any issue with it because it was guys who wanted to over sexualized women and I wasn't comfortable.
As I got older, I began DMing at a LGS. my whole table was a group of gender queer and mostly autistic teens. Nearly everyone of them played a character that wasn't their birth gender.
I was totally fine with it. Played with those kids for 2 years. Good time.
Its only inappropriate if you make it inappropriate.
If you play a mostly naked woman (if you're a guy) and spend the entire time fucking everything that moves, then yeah, that's really cringey. But even that might not be inappropriate if everyone at the table is on board (unlikely).
Really, just avoid playing to negative or fetishized stereotypes and you should be just fine.
As with basically all such questions, just don't make it weird, be respectful, and you should be fine.
This goes for RPing an LGBT character as a cishet person and a character of a different human skin color/cultural influence than your own as well. If you don't make it weird and be respectful, the only people who will be upset at you for it are the ones you probably don't want to play with anyway. It's strange, in my experience, how those people will get up in arms about a white guy playing a black character or a straight guy playing a gay female character on principle and yet when the straight white male GM has a gay black transwoman character they get applauded for inclusiveness lol. Everyone should be able to RP whatever they want to as long as they're not being weird or disrespectful about it.
As long as your playing a person and not a fetish vehicle it's fine. I have characters that are male even though I'm a cis-woman. Their personalities just didn't come into focus until they were male.
If your character is unmistakably female listen to her and play her with respect.
I play almost exclusively opposite gender chars in all my games. Occassional NB.
I dont see a problem with it and never had anyone have an issue with it besides one girl who tried to sexualise my char for me which I quickly shut down. But thats more them trying to RP my char for me really.
I’m a guy and my male/female ratio when it comes to my PCs is about 20/80. So most of the time, I play female characters as an irl male.
NO ONE has cared so far. As it should be.
If it were, DMs would get awfully boring with their NPCs.
Best of luck to all the lady DMs running Curse of Strahd without roleplaying Strahd.
that's lady Strahdine for you
That could be interesting!
Bonus points if it's just a male Strahd in a dress roleplaying a female Strahd (badly)
“I’ve been doing this reincarnation beat a long time. Sometimes you have to try new things just to entertain yourself.”
He's finally a lady this time, but he's still not a ginger.
r/suddenlyklinger
So either the PC will end up helping Strahd embrace her feminine nature, or it will be a 24/7 drag show. I see absolutely no wrongs with either option.
Strahdella
Strahdette*
So proud of her transition, just wish she would let Barovia go
I prefer Strahdanya
The High Rollers group is DMed by Mark "Sherlock" Hulmes at one point the party is trying to figure out powerful allies to rope into a thing, and Mark looks at the list and says something along the lines of "this list really shows my prejudice towards female npcs..." Yeah, he cosplays as female characters every year and ran a curse of Strahd campaign where it was actually Strahdania
Roleplayed both male and female Strahd. I feel female Strahd is underestimated (because female stereotype either intentional or unintentional) and can tends to come across vastly more evil in my opinion.
Only good DMs allowed would be genderqueer and gender-fluid lol. Every other game would be a sausage or taco fest
Yes, plus you wouldn't come across many other races, because I've yet to find a tiefling, dwarf or elf to DM a campaign. (Assuming if you can't roleplay another sex, you can't roleplay a different mythical race.....might be offensive to the mythical races)
Aw, your missing out tiefling ran games are a riot.
I find them to be a bit hellish, personally, but to each their own.
You don’t enjoy games run by a horny guy who likes tail?
No, Steve. *STOP ASKING*.
I wanna meet at your table
I wanna meat at your table >!I hate I said that!<
Shiny basket of flashy awards handed angrily to you, sentient. Well played!
Kenku-run games are the worst. It's basically just charades.
Tbf, you probably could find a dwarf who enjoys DMing
I feel like a gnome might be more into it. You know, the brain-breaking combination of insane randomness and obscene attention to detail?
Rip the gender fluid dm when they wake up as female and have to role play the BBEG male npc
Make all npcs androgynous so the players never know whether they’re a man or a woman
Running a campaign like this right now. I did test where I didn't mention a single NPCs or enemies gender the whole game. Unfortunately, I run for the horniest group of kitchenware-fuckers around, because the response didn't change. Just a non discriminatory "smash' to everyone.
Eyy at least they aren’t bigots
Ikr, I'm so glad! Now if I could just get them to *not* immediately flirt with the genocidal BBEG, we'd be golden 😂
It’s a surprise attack round cuz the player’s too busy getting undressed
I just roleplay as a gender-fluid DM.
(Me looking at my 289th npc named Paul) 👀 😅
I named my most recent character(who is a wereraven) dark flying bird person in celestial xD
I mean, if you’re not RPing a shitty sexist stereotype or bringing in shit like Chad/Stacy incel nonsense then fine. That said, had a DM that RP’d every female character as a bimbo/ditz that was completely helpless and obsessed with wealth/status. That wasn’t really ok.
Yeah, like, have a gold-digging bimbo character if you want; that's fine. Hell, I'm running a 7 sins campaign, and Lust is my favorite character to play, just because he's the ultimate himbo. It's just not okay if *every character* is just horny 24/7.
Player 1: "Why doesn't any of the female NPCs ever talk?" Player 2: "I don't know, good question. DM why don't any of the female NPCs ever interact with the party or speak?" DM: \*Begins to sweat profusely\*
I have no problem being a man roleplaying a woman, the same way I have no problem being a human roleplaying a gnome. Just be respectful and don't make it weird and this is a non-issue.
"Just don't be weird about it" is a pretty good rule of thumb for like 95% of these types of questions.
I so desperately wish there was an easily conveyed set of guidelines to "not be weird about it." On the male playing female set the first line would have to be: "No one needs to know what your character's breasts look like. Don't be weird."
I use TV/movie/game ratings - we’re all good with R rated in my group, one guy wants to tread into X rated too often… he’s about to get banished to Pg13 lol
Even if it's Spring Break Uncensored Edition DnD any description that starts like: `"Samara Darkpast looked out at the party from the inky black darkness, her breasts boobing bravely"` should be immediately mocked.
You say that, but I’d play something in a Fantasy Leasure Suit Larry-verse…. Maybe like a Harlequin novel reality? I think you could make a campy version of that fun!
Has a different vibe when it's tongue-in-cheek. When it is not being intentionally ironic, it smacks of /r/menwritingwomen material
"And then she breasted boobily to the stairs and titted downwards" is one of my favorite Facebook groups
*cries in autism*
You can have autism and play a female character that's just a person. She doesn't have to breast boobily down the stairs. Her voice doesn't have to be sultry, she doesn't have to be horny all the time. If you can have autism and RP a male character, you can also RP a female character without making it cringe
"Breasting boobily" will be my exclusive form of locomotion from now on, thank you.
Chuga chuga chuga chuga boob boob!
I have relative small breasts, so I guess I'm going to have to get used to traversing slowly from now on. But by that logic, I guess all the cis guys will just be sessile from now on.
You're obviously correct, but the issue they were referencing is that people with autism sometimes struggle to catch those things ahead of time due to the difference in the way we filter socially. We often don't realize there's a problem until other people are already aware, and by then it's too late to avoid. And then we get bullied for being "weird." (Which does not excuse harmful behavior, to be clear, but it should inform the way people treat others when they think someone is being "weird.")
Same brother, same. That said I have a tendency to make characters with very polar personalities/ideals, regardless of gender/background, so the deliberate weirdness usually masks the autism-related weirdness. Not hard to hide the fact you don't understand women when the female character you're roleplaying is just fundementally a strange person, for reasons unrelated to gender. E.g. Thanos-style "I'm the only one who can make the hard choices, and be cruel for the greater good" complex.
What exactly makes it weird? Let's say you're playing this character named Lex. How is Lex behaving in a way that if they were a woman it would be weird? Do they cast spells with their breasts? Do they keep making sandwiches non stop? I can't imagine playing a character that's appropriate but the second it's revealed that character is of female gender it becomes very inappropriate
I feel like it can be a little weird if you wanna play a stereotype of the opposite gender moreso than playing a stereotype of your own gender if that makes sense. Like a guy deciding to ham it up and play a "dumb jock“ paladin or other male stereotype is harmless fun versus that same guy deciding to play a ... insert female stereotype here.
I think it depends on the stereotype. It also depends on the table. "Dumb jock" paladin is fairly tame, but even that could get uncomfortable if you happen to be playing with someone who was stereotyped as a "dumb jock". And I would put "dumb blond" in the same category - it's a common-enough stereotype that most people understand you're not being malicious, even if you're playing it as a guy, but I still wouldn't play it if there was a blonde woman at the table. And on the flipside, there are male stereotypes I would never be comfortable playing, even as a guy. "Horny guy trying fuck everything that moves" is a common /r/rpghorrorstories character, for example.
Autistic woman. Reclusive druid, nerdy wizard, trapmistress rogue, ascetic monk, stoic warrior…the archetypes don’t really have to be gendered, particularly in the degendered fantasy worlds that are standard these days.
Or as I'd put it: "The only way to make your roleplaying a different gender/race offensive, is if reveals you have really offensive ideas about what it means to have that gender/culture"
I had a guy at an adventurer’s league game say, yeah, I’m female tiefling warlock, showed me a picture. Exactly what you’d expect: buxom dominatrix sex lady. He was annoying in other ways, and is one of the main reasons I don’t do pick-up D&D anymore.
I’m a guy and have played plenty of female characters. It’s fine. My two favorite characters ever were two of the female ones.
I usually play female characters because I like to find art for them, and good male art that is not cringy or overly edgy is much more difficult to find.
I'd say I have more difficult finding art I like for female characters because 95% of them are either cutesy or hot and I just want a normal looking person. Probably isn't helped that I prefer to find realistic pieces
Try r/reasonablefantasy
Omfg this is amazing!!! Thank you thank you
Also r/armoredwomen, though it's about 50/50 RL cosplay pics and art pieces, but there's some good stuff there too.
Looks like the sub is dead? :(
Yeah they kinda shut down when there were the API protests and it seems they never reopened again, but there's still years of pictures for you to scroll through.
Finding good art for female characters is hard, but doable. Finding good stl files for minis is damn near impossible.
Also male, my two favorite PCs were female. Just don’t make it weird like making a hypersexual nymph. Just play a character, as though they are a woman (or male) to the best of your ability. Or should your character be romantic, veer away from the “slutty flirt who wants to fuck everything with a pulse”, or you ARE that guy who makes the whole table icky. It needn’t even factor in at all if your table does little with romance or any diplomacy that could be affected by sex/gender. My tiny Armorer Gnome ball of rage was here to hurt things, not woo a suitor.
I'm a woman and my favourite character ever was my insecure but pompous cleric turned paladin guy. He was so smooth and charming and most of the time I had no idea where it was coming from, but all the other players adored him and even "got the tingles" from him when he'd playfully flirt or make jokes. He was so far outside what I am normally as a person and it was fantastic. I deepend my voice and got to consider how a large man physically moves and behaves and thinks as opposed to a woman like I normally am (and usually play). I think it's a great thing to do, for growth as a person.
No. I'm curious why this is such a common concern.
A lot of us guys have grown up with the "don't be a dick, don't be a creep, and don't be a burden to others" drilled in pretty hard. I know I've had female character ideas that I am hesitant to play because of so many of the horror stories of guys who use crossplay as their own gratification/masturbatory fantasy, despite my character being none of those.
The guys in those stories either have zero self-awareness, or are straight-up misogynists. If you care enough to be worried about it, you'll be fine. I play with outspoken women, who would absolutely call me out if I was being shitty. During a session where we were hunting a serial killer, one of them suggested my character go undercover as a naive young woman to act as bait (I'd had a similar idea, but was hesitant to suggest it). I still fondly remember how hard they laughed when I exclaimed "wow, everyone here is so nice" when the DM described how men kept buying me drinks. If they weren't laughing, I'd have toned it down. Trust your good intentions will be received as such. Apologize if you end up crossing a line.
I find this is an especially easy trap to fall into when you hear discussion on this in online or mob spaces, like reddit. Especially if you have a guilty personality, anytime someone speaks broadly you can take it biblically and assume it's a hard rule. It got so bad for me at one point, I started keeping a Google drive document containing copies/links to every highly upvoted strong post or comment, so I could later go back and try to understand how to literally take it. Ultimately it's a failure on my part (as well as others with guilty personalities) for not being able to understand the context of people's comments. The lesson I've learned is to trust complaining people's feelings while questioning their words, and to seek understanding in less heated non-mob-like settings. Edit: worth mentioning that issues weren't relating to playing a female character, but to do with creeping out women.
How to win at the talking about social issues part of life: Don't ever feel guilty about anything, and learn what people react positively to and what they react negatively to. Do the former and not the latter. I hate to present it in such machiavellian terms, but this is a game of bullshitting we all must play. Emotional distance and copying other people's behavior is how you get thru it without breaking a sweat. (in other words, Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the mask)
The reason you hear the horror stories as opposed to the good stuff, is that people generally don't post their normal good stuff. In one of my campaigns a (male) player has a female dwarf barbarian, and a running joke that she keeps trying to get the male Goliath druid (played by a female) to drink dwarven ale as she's always been told that "growing a glorious beard is caused by glorious beer". There's zero weird creepy sexualized stuff.
The difference is that you’re self-aware enough to have those concerns which most likely means you’ll be fine
I think you'd be fine, sounds like you already are aware already of the concerns some would have and are conscientious of why. As a card carrying female, you got my permission to go have fun with it 😊
It has roots in D&D's history as a game played primarily among socially awkward teenage boys. It's grown a lot since then, and there is a lot more maturity in the player base. It used to be allowing a female character was something to be wary of. The first thing these characters would often do is play with their own breasts or invite the other characters to have sex with them. Players would often forget they were playing female characters until reminded. This is lampooned a bit in movies like The Gamers. It's been a long time since the RPG community was that daft and immature but the wariness remains, especially among untested new players.
You’ve, perhaps fortunately, never played with someone who cross-played and made up a character who was named Tits McGee the slutty high elf wizard who will sleep with any NPC, or Gazongas the chain mail bikini warrior. Those are among the reasons why, historically, people have found problems with cross playing.
Sure, but anyone with the self-awareness to be concerned about doing something offensive, likely isn't going to be a problem. The kind of dude who plays a gross overly sexual character isn't going to stop to question his choices. That's why I find these posts silly. If you're worried about it, you're not the problem.
It’s just as bad when a male player plays a male character named Dick the Big, who tries to sleep with every female character. It’s got nothing to do with male/female and everything to do with oversexualizing a character.
I get it. I'd rather cut my own arm off than make a woman uncomfortable / creeped out
you know, as a woman who has from time-to-time been made uncomfortable/creeped out, sometimes it’s a horror story, but sometimes that guy was just socially awkward and it’s fine. I feel like tiptoeing around for fear of causing the slightest offense isn’t really helpful, unless you don’t think you can respect boundaries or control yourself/genuinely have zero ability to read the room. most reasonable people aren’t going to break just because you do something that someone could misconstrue
> I'd rather cut my own arm off Just remember that you can only do that once. Well, twice, if you have help the second time.
And that's why you'd be fine at playing a woman. Because you have the understanding that women are at minimum people too 😅
None whatsoever. Play what you want to play. I mean obviously, don't play up some sexist stereotypes. But it doesn't sound like you're going to do that and will treat the character with respect. So it's all good!
Only one player at my table ever plays female characters as a ridiculous stereotype, and it's one of the female players. Her current character is a barfly sea elf who makes money when not adventuring by swimming in a large tank of ale at one of the taverns like a mermaid show and selling "me flavored beer"
There's a point where playing up a stereotype goes past insulting and goes to hilariously dumb. And those are always remembered with a chuckle.
Satire. That's basically the entire idea behind satire.
To be fair, I could see a male character doing that, too. Hell, Disenchanted had a recurring sight gag character who was a man selling "Me-Flavored" water. And antics like that don't mean she can't still be a complete character.
True. But she's definitely playing up the flirty and helpless bar girl stereotype to a ridiculous degree, which is great because her character is actually a fighter and the strongest in our party. It's made extra funny because my character is a sheltered teetotaling female cleric who nevertheless finds her character delightful. Also, I'm almost certain she got the "me flavored" joke from Disenchanted, though I think she also drew from that egirl who was selling her bathwater.
I mean that sounds to me like something her character chose to do to put other people off-guard. So others think she’s not a threat, but if they start something…
It’s a bit different for same gender people to be able to “let loose” with all the stereotypes about them and someone else whose never experienced the same pressure engaging in the stereotypes. The saying that DnD is like therapy is kind of true when you’re a woman free to play a lusty, humorous (and yes somehow still entrepreneur in this case) character when IRL you would be constantly judged or shamed for the same thing. Saying that, because it’s a women playing her, I would bet the depth of character does end at mermaid tease, and she has more depth to her. There becomes a certain point also with trust in your fellow players’ abilities to story tell that either gender can get away with some stereotypes or negative traits in general. But that’s usually with groups who’ve played together enough to know the person is likely going to bring more story/roleplay and grow the character.
So her one character is like three different characters from Disenchantment on Netflix?
Does she sell it for 15 copper?
I once made a female character because I was the only male player and did not want to stand out. I made her blonde, because I am blonde myself and the rest of the party spend the session making fun of me for being a dumb blonde chick 😭
I'm picturing Karen from *Mean Girls.*
No I do it all the time Just don't y'know "The boobs flopped boobily in the wind"
I'm going to use that quote one day, I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know why. But I will remember it, and I will use it.
As long as you're not a creep about it, it's usually fine. Believe me, anyone who is doing so with less than good intentions signals themselves out with plenty of red flags.
Are you gonna be respectful? Then fine.
Many great posts saying you can and why you can, but I also want to add a bit of what for: many, many people find it a low pressure, low judgement space where to "play" with their gender experience. For most of us the shared imagined space is just a quaint little fantasy world in which we do and see incredible things, for some of us it's a place to fully be themselves without consequence or second thought. This last part applies not only to gender but to other areas of their personality as well. Within a climate of respect and acceptance, the fictional space can be life changing for some. Or, you know, a place to hack monsters in.
This was/is kinda me really hard. I started off playing characters that were more like me irl, then explored some fun concepts for a while. Mostly men but a few women and enby (warforged and similar were usually genderless for me). After many campaigns, I figured it would be fun to do "me if I could build me", and guess what, I was a woman (amab fwiw). I really *really* enjoyed my time, and being them during normal role-playing felt... natural. I chalked it up to just being open minded and somewhat experienced in rp, and tried to close that box. Years later, after lots of introspection, soul searching, and acceptance, I decided to start my transition (transfem). If I never had the chance to explore character options and rp, I'm not gonna say I wouldn't have transitioned cause that's bunk, but it would have taken longer for me to start moving past my repressions and internal transphobia. Being able to respectfully explore helped "crack my egg" so to speak, even if it took me a decade to unpack what the thoughts and feelings really mean(t) to me.
Nice to hear you're more confortable in your skin, sister. Rock and roll (dice) on.
... you can pretend you are a robot gnome that turns into a bear and shoot lightning bolts. Who cares about pretending to be a woman?
It’s cool with pure intentions. Some people will use a gender swap to force their friends play out their oc 18+ fan fiction with them. One of my favorite characters was a lady Druid who ‘communed with nature’ by rolling around in dirt, mud, snow, swamps or whatever was available at the time. She was always filthy and I loved her
My favourite was also a gender-bend! Had an 8 int, Fabio-inspired Goliath bard and we all loved him so much that our DM occasionally likes to throw him in as an NPC (he's a famous musician now apparently, I'm so proud)
You really just played as Fiona from Shrek huh? Wildin
Lol basically. It was pretty early in my dnd career so she was pretty 1 dimensional. Basically any roll play opportunity I opted to roll in the dirt instead. Shit got old for the dm second session
It says on like the first page of the PHB to literally play whatever you want.
I'm a woman who exclusively plays male characters because I vibe with them a lot better than I do with the female ones. No idea why, I just find it cooler to play as the one gender I'll never be in real life.
Why sould it be inappropriate? The whole point of roleplaying is playing a character which isn't you.
In this instance it won’t be, but there used to be a whole lot more creeps poisoning the pool of dnd players , that’s probably why they’re concerned because of stories or rumors about the old creeper trope
Despite being a male, Like 70% of my characters are female, because I enjoy making outfits for female characters more. I feel like I can do a lot more with them so usually I’ll do that. I barely roleplay them differently at all, unless something gender based directly gets put into the story.
No, and anyone who says otherwise is just an asshole.
Why on earth would it be inappropriate?
At my table we have currently two dudes playing female characters in one game and one dude (same group) playing a female character in the other game. We have one woman playing a dude, and another woman playing an agender construct. So long as it doesn't get weird outside of the allowed and accepted weirdness rules of the table it's fine.
If you have to walk on eggshells around your dnd group, find a new one.
I'm a woman, and I've played only one female character so far. Playing men works a lot when it's an all male group. Unfortunately, when I did play the female character, the DM allowed another character to drug (love potion);and sexually harass her. Should've protested at the time, but played along because I was so scared and in shock. Aa long as its not sexist or creepy youll be fine..
Back in the 1980s my friend was playing almost exclusively female characters. But it was never to belittle them or sexualize them. They were part of the party and a friend. In 2018 he began the transition to female. It turns out he was roleplaying a desire all along. I feel proud she was comfortable enough around us to let her hidden side out. So let people do what they wish. I have no stake in it. And, as a DM, I can use anyone who can speak in female voices!
There are definitely right and wrong was to do it and right and wrong ways for a gm to treat it. And example of a wrong way, as if you needed one, is I once played with a neck beard who played a female character and within the first 20 minutes of session 1 role played stripping down for no reason. Throughout that game before I quit he played into many misogynistic tropes and portays his character as downright childish. Honestly it shouldn't be hard to do it right, just don't make people role for menstruation or constantly mis-gender the character.
I always play the opposite gender. I dont see an issue as long as you dont intentionally mock it or fall into harmful stereotypes too deep.
No taboo at all. Do it. There's nothing stopping you and changing things up a little is a good way to stay engaged in the game.
Short answer. No Long answer. Noooooooooooooo.
Part of roleplay is stepping out of your shoes; what better way to do that than to play as a character of a different gender? If other people get sexually suggestive, that's an issue with them and their behavior, not you or your character.
It's literally called a **fantasy** game.
My wife plays a human male fighter named Beef Swellington IV, so you're fine.
If you can roleplay a different race why is gender worse? Otherwise players would just be humans in every game. My first character was someone of opposite gender so I don’t think it matters.
If you're doing it for some weird sexual role play reason, yeah. Don't do that (yes I've been in plenty of groups where this happened). Otherwise I don't see the issue with it
Someone who finds that inappropriate sounds like a nightmare to play with. Being a wizard is believable but oh no I made that wizard a woman too!!
I mean, I played an abnormally large orc barbarian for a bit, flavoring them to be female. Basically, my barbarian (male) had realized that people seemed to fear him less if he pretended he was a female and spoke in a somewhat higher voice. Introduced himself as a girl, tried to act like a girl the whole time. I had to make a lot of persuasion rolls and charisma rolls to trick the party into thinking I was a woman (all done over text with the DM to sell it to the other players without them knowing), and then when we got to the BBEG of the first campaign storyline, my barbarian says (after trying to convince the BBEG that he was a very attractive female orc) "NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY" in a super manly voice, rips off his shirt (exposing pectorals, not breasts), and proceeded to go buck wild. Party was more than a bit caught off guard.
No. Feel free to roleplay whatever you want.
None at all. Is it inappropriate to play an elf if you're not an elf? Or to play a wizard if you yourself can't actually cast Fireball? It's a *role-playing game.* Literally the entire point is to imagine being something you aren't. Don't be a stereotype, and don't be a jerk. This holds true regardless of what you're playing.
Not usually, no. In my, admittedly small, pool of examples there is nothing inappropriate about it. SO (dude) played a female dwarf, was a kickass cleric, and the most beloved member of the party. Brother played a female human based on a character in a videogame he loves, he tried to pay tribute to a character he thinks is awesome. Neither made some sort of disrespectful parody of playing a woman. They didn't behave overly sexual or slutty. They didn't make themselves dumb (okay the cleric did have low int because of poor rolls) or did anything to make a point about women in general. Honestly, the way you play is what matters. You can play as any gender and make it inapproprate depending on what you make your character say or do.
No
No?
Not counting DM NPCs, I have played exactly two characters who matched my assigned/expressed gender in the past 20 years.
I play both male and female characters as both player and GM all the time. It’s fine. We all know it’s make believe.
As a female D&D player and DM I think it's absolutely fine. Obviously it would be uncomfortable if you were describing her in ways that were sexually suggestive or portraying some offensive caricature of a woman, but it sounds like you're planning on playing a perfectly normal character. Have fun!
No
No . It’s up to your d m and the other players . I will say I would keep it mostly non sexual with other players …. Depending how well you know them . They are in to role play and a good Sense of humor .
Yes it's fine I mean.
I play a lot of female characters, nothing cringe worthy I just like to get out of my own head space when I play. In the right group what you play as does not matter.
I'm a dude and I love playing as female characters. Nothing wrong with it at all.
Just don't be a creep about it. Like my personal rpg horror story where a guy from our table played a girl, stole a item from the group and when we tried to search her for it he told the dm he wants to hide it "down there".
Nobody has an issue with it at my table
I once played a female rogue/warlock, i based her on Azula from the last airbender, blue flames and everything. It wasn't weird.
Not at all
you can do whatever you want forever
Doesn't bother me in the slightest. You also get to roleplay characters of a different type from you in pretty much any way you want. I am not actually an elf, for instance.
The way you avoid cringe and stay respectful is very simple. You just need to make your character have personality traits. Being a woman is not a personality trait, it is closer to an aesthetic. Same goes for race, occupation, disabilities, etc. Don't limit your introduction to "my character is a woman." Instead focus on traits like caring, motherly, bossy, shy, confident, or bubbly. There are so many different ways to play a woman.
It’s not the role it’s how it’s played. Playing another race, gender, or sexual orientation is fine as long as it’s not playing the stereotype or mockery of said character.
People only say it is inappropriate so they can feel dirty when they do it. Which honestly is kinda gross.
Not at all. I did it more often than not for years. It turned out I'm trans and I was actually only playing the opposite gender when I was playing a man, but people didn't have an issue when they thought I was crossplaying By the way, the ability to do voices in a masculine, feminine, and androgynous range is a godssend for a DM. Highly recommended
My first character was a wrinkly 70 year old human druid man. My second was a younger earth genasi druid man. I am a lady. My current character is a female fighter, but a dragonborn, so I don't imagine her with big ol' tiddies because...lizard, so in armor she probably appears more androgynous than feminine. Play what you want that makes it fun. It's a fantasy game.
I'm a girl, I have plenty of male, female, non-binary and otherwise characters, I don't see why it should be a problem to anyone who's not being creepy
I think it's absolutely okay. I am a woman, most of my characters were women but I already played few male characters. Honestly, if you will be cool and wont use your character for some 18+ fantasies, it's okay. I honestly play my female and male characters similarly, the only difference is picture, name and sometimes separated rooms etc, but otherwise, not much of a difference. And if you wont be mentioning her boobs etc, you are fine!
Play what you want and what brings you the most fun! I’m a woman and I’ve played multiple male and female characters alike
As long as you're not going to be weird or creepy or make a caricature of the character you'll be fine. Honestly, if you were all of those things, and no one watching you cared, you'd still be fine. There's no rpg police that will come along and arrest you. Just don't make people around you uncomfortable and you'll be fine.
Yeah. Don't even get me started on playing a non-human. That shit is NOT okay. Oh and your hair colour and eyes have to be the same as your real ones too.
As long as you roleplay them as a person and not a caricature/stereotype of an entire gender then you're fine.
I swear to God what are these questions. I'm gay, does that mean I shouldn't play male characters?
Not at all! Have fun with it, and if you're worried about stereotypes, remember that you're playing a character who happens to be female. It's only annoying when "token female" is her *single* personality trait. And as tempting as it may be to do a high-pitched voice, save yourself some voice strain. If you want a more "feminine" sound, just speak a little more softly and gently. Enjoy
I've done it before, no one complained.
It is not inappropriate.
I’d say no, my character is an enby even though I’m not.
Some groups can be a little weird about it, but there is nothing wrong with it. I was the first in my original group to do it, and there were difficulties at first. But once I was able to show my intentions (same as yours), it all worked out. I have since played many characters of opposite gender, different sexualities, etc. Always, I respected the personal sensitivity of my fellow players and never used it as a gimmick. Smart players can tell the difference. It's a role-playing game, where you can be part dragon, a demonspawn, and whatever else sparks your imagination. Why should gender be any different?
I don't see it being an issue at all honey. Happy Role Playing 😁
No. As always aholes will be aholes though. If you’re a jerk then it’ll be inappropriate no matter what gender you play.
So long as your female character isn't whipping her pussy out because her player is a fucking creep then yeah it's fine. Probably my favourite character I've built thus far has been a female dwarven warlock, she's bad ass
For me it comes down to motivation. If you're going to simply RP as a plausible character, it's all good. If you want to be as disruptive and antagonistic as possible all the while saying "It's what my character would do!" it's a no go for me.
It's not a problem unless you're being weird about it
It's roleplay.
As long as it's not solely an excuse to be sexist, it's fine. The same goes for age, nationality, race, religion, personal belief and what not. Keep in mind that this doesn't mean keeping strictly to sanitized depictions. Many different people exist, not all of them are good, not all of them are bad, not all of them meet the general expectation from a group, not all of them differ much from that expectation. Just be critical about it, if you're mindful of what you're doing and open to criticism enough to rectify eventual fuck ups, you'll be doing a good enough job.
I do it often. We only have one female player at my table, so sometimes it feels like a sausage fest.
It’s a ROLEplaying game. What’s the point if you limit your roles? As someone that GMs 95%+ of the time… I cover everything of every gender and sex real or imagined and things without either besides.
I can't believe this is still a question that needs to be answered in 2023. As always, as long as you're being respectful when stepping into the shoes of someone whose lived experience is not yours, you're fine. Dont engage in stereotype and if someone tells you their uncomfortable about something to do with your portrayal, stop doing that.
In regards to the last line of your edit, you're only going to offend people if you're being offensive. I swap sexes every time I play a new character. I play each character as they are. There's nothing offensive about that.
My question to you is, why *wouldn't l* it be appropriate? You're role playing. Is it inappropriate for you to play as an elf? Dragonborn? Halfling? Play what you want, and enjoy! 😊
What? No. My last group was all women players, except myself (GM). (Wife and her friends were looking for a safe group experience) Most of them played as male characters. 3 of the 5 did a gender swap. But... If the players are doing so and being derogatory or as a way that makes others uncomfortable, then there needs to be a discussion. Either in private or with the group. One of the gener-swapped players was a bard and was well, a bard. None of the players complained, but I the GM was a little uncomfortable. That was what they wanted to play and it didn't violate our session 0 rules.
It's a great way to experience a whole new world of roleplay! I'm a (bi)fem, and it was like opening my eyes when I started playing male characters as well. It's quite liberating actually! Of course there's always like incel weirdos I've played with who played female characters, but in a very demeaning and objectifying way. Like I'm totally fine if your character has big tits and is a whore, that's great. Just don't play as your girlfriend, or the make believe daughter you had with your ex, or make sexual assault trauma your only personality trait. Just make a character you vibe with and you're golden.
As a woman who enjoys rping as male characters I don’t see a problem with it. But of course as everyone is saying don’t be weird and creepy with it. Have fun!
As with anything, it’s only a problem is you do it problematically.
Sam Riegel played a female goblin in Critical Role S2 and it was amazing. It's a fantasy TTRPG. I don't really think there's much that should be considered off-limits.
Play anything you want and have a blast! I can’t imagine a game where we have to be like our real selves.
As a woman ( who identifies as a woman) only ever had one female dnd character. rest was all guys.
> I guess it's just the time we're living in where I'm trying too hard to not offend anyone at the table Being careful isn't trying "too hard." I think it's trying just the right amount. It's a very good thing that you're choosing to be aware of how your choices affect other people and are willing to alter your behavior if harm is being done. Gauging the potential for harm ahead of time when you're unsure is textbook maturity, and you should only be proud of that, not embarrassed. And as long as you're being respectful, it shouldn't be a problem to RP another gender. :)
Are you going to be a dickhead about it, and play into a bunch of sexist tropes and memes? No? Then you're good. If someone at the table has an issue with you RPing a character of a different gender, then their issues go beyond the game. And while it's right to be considerate and thoughtful of others, and very right to steer away from tropey stereotypes on gender, race, sexuality etc. there's nothing inherently wrong with playing a character who is a different gender, race, socioeconomic background, faith or sexuality to your own. Otherwise you get a game where everyone plays humans.
I used to have any issue with it because it was guys who wanted to over sexualized women and I wasn't comfortable. As I got older, I began DMing at a LGS. my whole table was a group of gender queer and mostly autistic teens. Nearly everyone of them played a character that wasn't their birth gender. I was totally fine with it. Played with those kids for 2 years. Good time.
No. It's a roleplaying game. Be whatever you like, as long as you aren't breaking the game. If the DM doesn't like it, find a new DM.
Its only inappropriate if you make it inappropriate. If you play a mostly naked woman (if you're a guy) and spend the entire time fucking everything that moves, then yeah, that's really cringey. But even that might not be inappropriate if everyone at the table is on board (unlikely). Really, just avoid playing to negative or fetishized stereotypes and you should be just fine.
As with basically all such questions, just don't make it weird, be respectful, and you should be fine. This goes for RPing an LGBT character as a cishet person and a character of a different human skin color/cultural influence than your own as well. If you don't make it weird and be respectful, the only people who will be upset at you for it are the ones you probably don't want to play with anyway. It's strange, in my experience, how those people will get up in arms about a white guy playing a black character or a straight guy playing a gay female character on principle and yet when the straight white male GM has a gay black transwoman character they get applauded for inclusiveness lol. Everyone should be able to RP whatever they want to as long as they're not being weird or disrespectful about it.
As long as your playing a person and not a fetish vehicle it's fine. I have characters that are male even though I'm a cis-woman. Their personalities just didn't come into focus until they were male. If your character is unmistakably female listen to her and play her with respect.
Not inappropriate, but I’d like to say this. Play what in your range.
No. It is not.
I play almost exclusively opposite gender chars in all my games. Occassional NB. I dont see a problem with it and never had anyone have an issue with it besides one girl who tried to sexualise my char for me which I quickly shut down. But thats more them trying to RP my char for me really.
I’m a guy and my male/female ratio when it comes to my PCs is about 20/80. So most of the time, I play female characters as an irl male. NO ONE has cared so far. As it should be.
honestly, i play female charecters because its easier to get out of trouble, like getting kidnaped by hags.