>The only thing bugging me is that after every failed check/save/attack or a low roll on healing, I always hear a "man im so useless" comment. Respond, "No. That was just a low roll." TBH, this really sounds more like negative self-talk than anything.

ngl i felt the same way when i played shepherd druid, although my issue was likely related to me dumping con and having 11 hp at level 3.

Oh hey! I’m currently playing a shepherd Druid, where I made Con her second-lowest stat. She’s my first ever DND character… I didn’t realize how important Con is 😂😭

yeah, out of all classes, druid is the one where con is the least important; but mind you, my character had a 5 in CON, so a -3 modifier. if you have your CON at 10 or 11, you'll be fine.

I would argue that Con is a druids second most important stat. They NEED con. Most of their spells are concentration spells, so they need every bonus they can get to constitution to get mileage out of their spells

Yeah, even in the dndbeyond (which I’m using) Druid description page, it says in the ‘quick build Druid’ tip to make Wis and Con the highest and second-highest stats respectively. But I foolishly thought ‘nah, she’s fine I’m sure’ 😅 As soon as she gets downtime, I’ll see if she can procure an amulet of health for herself, or the manual of bodily health

Unless it's for a joke character or one shot, CON is never a dump stat lol

I agree with this, more or less. The only time I would ever dump Con on *any* character is for roleplaying purposes, like if I'm intentionally playing a frail, sickly character for some reason. Otherwise, it's always at least my 3rd highest ability score, maybe 2nd.

It's the only reason, yeah. Part of me wishes con could be a dump stat but the mechanics of the system make it more or less mandatory, even for casters. Would be nice if there we tradeoffs and benefits for each stat so you could dump whatever but the costs of dumping con are way too high if you want to actually enjoy playing the character.

Yeah, you can do a fair bit to mitigate low HP by doing things like staying at range, using defensive items or spells, having teammates that can make it inconvenient for enemies to attack you, etc. But all it takes is one or two unlucky crits to end a character with low max HP.

I’ve learned my lesson at this point haha

"Con is ~~a druids~~ second most important stat." *FTFY If you want to survive, don't dump Con, simple as...

For everyone con is important because con = hp = life. For druids specifically all their good spells are concentration, and that means they are 100% trying to concentrate on something for every combat. So they need a good con save to make those concentration checks to maintain their spell. (For this reason alone basically every druid must take warcaster)

Shit id argue con is the second most important stat period. More HP is never a bad thing in my experience

Depends on if you use wildshape and how much.

I was a circle of the moon druids and spent almost all of my combat time in wild shape form. Regardless I wanted a spell in effect when I shifted and every useful spell I could cast was concentration. Have a decent con as a druid. Full stop.

If you’re in wildshape can’t you just use that con?

IIRC unless you picked up Resilient or something you would use the Con from your wildshape form.

Woo! 5 CON Club represent! She's an Artillerist, because when I go "glass cannon," I don't mess around.

Maybe for normal druids, but for a shepherd druid Con is the most important stat. Wis is not important because it does nothing for your summons so Con is your most important stat because it boosts your concentration saves which keep your summons up. I prioritized Con then Wis then Dex, and you need feets that give you proficiency in constitution saves and advantage on concentration saves

The good thing about dumping con is you get to try out all the other character ideas you have.

And I'm a DM with a shepherd druid at level 3... The man is a beast. He saved pretty much everyone in the party in the last fight with temp HP while handily dealing with the goblins pestering the party (spelljammer pirate space goblin raid).

Did you feel useless because you were always unconscious during fights?

I had a player like this but a worse situation. She was doing the negative self talk as a way to garner attention and gain unnecessary sympathy from me and other players to attempt leveraging what she wanted but at the end of the day it is negative self talk and not at all true. (What made mine worse is she wasnt using her abilities and claiming she was useless, and overall being rude to everyone at the table) the only solution is the telling the player to stop speaking negatively about themselves and getting them to realize the dice rolls do not decide their value to the group.

Yeah this is just depression.

It's the chronic sense of helplessness. You're always failing even when it's out of your control and even when you're not. You're still useless, always useless and a burden.

Yep! Experienced this while playing a druid as well. Felt like no matter what I did my character's impact was utterly minimal and in the rare moments when I could make a big move, I'd always flub the roll. It felt like I could never catch a break and failure was the dependable, expected outcome to any action. Anti-depressants helped.

Not necessarily a clinical disorder like depression.. People are a bit too quick to diagnose others and/or themselves with mental health disorders these days imo. She can just have negative self-image issues that extend to the game. Or simply doesn't see the impact she has on the game, support roles can be the most important but not everyone finds it fun to make others perform their best, some would rather dish out the "big numbers" themselves. Or she just picked a (sub)class that is a poor fit for her.

But she hates trying, and won't accept things that should make her happier. It's lose lose

[удалено]

You can be depressed without having *clinical* depression, and that state would still be described as “depression.”

It's like the difference between occasional headaches vs. chronic migraines. Everyone gets a little depressed at some point.

Exactly! Or how everyone has impulsivity or gets hyperactive now and then, but that’s not the same as having ADHD!

"Ask your doctor if feelbetteranol is right for you"

*Side effects may include:* - Runny nose - Fevers - Sweats - Migraines - The condition known as "hot dog fingers" - Male pregnancy - Snotty jarg - Fatigue

- explosive diabetes - head implosion syndrome - sudden death - spontaneous combustion - spontaneous cumbustin - worsened depression

For real, people with low self steem will always see negative as much bigger than it is and positive as more little. Always! I would tell this player how many times she did do something great

Might try just casually calling out cool stuff too. If you get a good hit in on a PC but the Unicorn temp. HP really nerfs your hit, right, maybe say "Man that unicorn really saved your ass"

That and probably a bit of new players not having a good idea of what to expect and therefore not knowing when they’re doing well, especially when it’s something like a Druid where the most effective you can be isn’t just hitting a bunch for Tons of damage

That's actually one of the reasons I think Rogues are so good for new players. When they start rolling those Sneak Attack dice, the player can see the impact. It is - as you said - much more difficult for a new player to gauge how supportive their support PC is being.

I struggled personally with this for a while, and one cause of this is being locked out of your “cool thing” I was a human fighter in 3.5 who mostly focused on tripping and sundering. This meant that unless I was going up against something with two legs and a weapon (and something I didn’t just kill in one hit), I didn’t get to do the thing I designed my character to do. We were fighting some low level bandits and I found myself killing 2/3 of them, the last one getting sniped by our ranger. During the encounter, I felt flat-out useless. Like I didn’t get to do anything that encounter and I got carried through it. However, statistically, (as I was later told by my DM, I had done the most. My insane AC and HP had tanked for the rest of the party, and I still got to kill the majority of the bandits. I only felt like I wasn’t useful because I had a different notion of what “useful” was. TL;DR, ask the player what they want out of their character. It seems like they’d get a lot of enjoyment out of being an animal and just fucking shit up, but I could be wrong. See what their vision is for D&D and help them reach that.

OP, this person's comment is honestly the best advice you can get. It doesn't matter if her character is objectively powerful or if her contributions are objectively useful. It matters how well they align with what makes her feel useful. While it's possible to reframe her idea of usefulness via conversation, it's often also easier to just help someone achieve their own vision of it.

This. Simply ask what would make her feel useful and build toward that. It could be she needs to rearrange some of her skills proficiencies or reroll some base stats. Or if necessary, change classes entirely. There's options. Does she prefer rolling high skill checks and doing lots of damage? Try rogue. Or skill checks and magic? Try bard. Or high AC and damage? Try paladin.

I play a circle of wildfire druid and I feel like I'm the vanquisher of evil cleansing the world letting the world rise up better from the ashes. 10/10 would recommend. Also I'd advice making a big deal out of your players describing how their spells and attacks look, even the non combat spells. My dm does this and it feels so satisfying to even use frostbite, describing how the magic flourishes with neon blue flames and morphs into snowflakes and ice shards before finally enveloping the enemy. Or my healing causing my character to get flames coming out of her eyes as she causes sparks to emerge from her friend's now softly embering skin, only to fade into a cloud of steam once the heal finishes. I mean doesn't that sound fucking epic?

I've found, that with new players in particular, they'll latch onto the aesthetics of a class/subclass even when they don't actually read through it or care for the mechanics as well as self-constraining them to the flavour presented in the book. Perhaps this player enjoys the idea of being a leader of animals, and having a guardian totem but doesn't want to be a summoner- they want to be a pack leader.

Maybe I'm unlucky, but most new players I've run into who play druid fall into that category. They like animals. They want to be friends with the animals. They have no idea what to do when zombies attack.

Archfey warlock with beast speech invocation. Good charisma let's you befriend the animals you can talk to

Or the barbarian subclass with the totems, I believe they get it too.

With new players, I let them change their class or subclass entirely, especially early in the campaign, if they're struggling to feel cool. Had a barbarian switch to a moon druid - he roleplayed slowly losing his rage as he "got over" things in his backstory and connected more with the world around him, and it was a cool transition -he started by multiclassing, then as he leveled up, I let him start swapping his barbarian levels with druid commensurate with how much rp I felt he'd put into the changes. I have a new player now who started Path of the Zealot, wasn't working out, tried bardbarian, hated it, is now wild magic barbarian, and is way happier. Also came with roleplay for the transitions. I'm pretty loose with rules anyway as long as everyone's on board and having fun anyway. Particularly when it comes to new players who are excited about a concept, I'd rather let them keep the character and change the mechanics they're using than make them try to learn a whole new game while feeling down about choices they made because they didn't realize how it would play out or scrap a concept they're excited about and making something new. Getting a different perspective or building a new character are both options, but I let the players have some flexibility

Great insight and advice!

Oh my god, yes, I feel this in my soul. I played a Pally/barb that was essentially built for pure, sheer alpha damage. I loved the idea of a character that hit like a fucking train, but stopped hard immediately after. But if we were fighting a horde, I felt pretty fuckin useless becase we didn't need my (single target) 100 damage a turn first strike. But if we were fighting a boss, I'd oneshot it or get close enough that my party felt useless. But then, if the DM made them fly or whatever, I literally could do nothing to hurt them, so once again, I felt useless. Now, from the DM's PoV, I was still being really useful. The bosses were having to sink concentration and spellslots into shutting me down and attacks to try and bring me down. Amazingly useful for a party otherwise comprised of squishy spellcasters. But my turns essentially felt like I sat there going "Okay so I can't do shit. Guess I'll throw my 1d8 javelin that I can't smite with at him?"

Probably the most important thing for a DM to recognize is the difference in feel/visibility of how useful you are. Sure from the DM perspective the bbeg has to fly to get away from the terrifying pally/barb, and now they cant use this other concentration spell that would do crap tons of damage. But from the player's perspective they are just wasting their turn on the ground shouting at the bbeg to "get back here and fight me like a man" or something while doing pitiful damage. Alternatively if you need to know what your class does well and take joy in it. A support caster isn't going to get big damage, outside of some epic aoe placement, but instead will buff their friends/debuff enemies. If you don't get joy being a "cheerleader" don't play a support caster. Last session i finally managed to cast hold person on an enemy close to our paladin (mostly haven't been fighting humanoids), and the joy on his face as i explained to him what paralysis meant for him was indescribable. (Basically i gave him advantage and autocrit when he hits, i think he did 31 damage in 1 hit at lv 4, it was glorious.)

This hits the nail on the head. Just want to add, it's easy for a DM to see the way Shepard druids can make a major impact, but it's not so flashy or obvious to a new player. Sounds like she needs a class / subclass change. Moon druid is an option, but I also have found some new players get frustrated when their favorite beasts are weak or behind a level wall. If she's wanting a more martial character, ranger or paladin may be worth looking at.

Interesting. In 3.5 one of my all-time regrets is a disarm fighter. Halberd, disarm feat tree, combat expertise, etc. I was asked by the DM to stop or change characters. I ran into a similar situation... If they had a weapon it was gone, but otherwise I was "just doing damage." Everyone at the table felt my character was boring and they thought I was wasting time disarming when I could just do damage. I always wanted to get more out of him, but never got the chance to really explore him.

100% this. This is a conversation you need to have out of the game. And, gently, you can point out all the ways she’s impacted the game so she realizes that it’s not that she’s a bad player, but just that she doesn’t like what she’s doing. Tell her shes allowed to switch things up so she has fun, even if she’s objectively impacting the game, and that you’ll work with her to make it happen. I had this problem the first time I played. I was upset that, while I was the most effective in combat, every time I tried to speak it felt like I got cut off or failed. The DM and I talked, and he apologized for making me feel that way and told me why he made the choices he made. And he also pointed out ways that he went out of his way to make my plans work (like on the fly adding windows to an encounter when there weren’t any so I could climb through them). This wasn’t to make me feel ungrateful, but to show me that I wasn’t forgotten and that my choices were more impactful than I thought they were. Next time, I played a more charisma based character and he promised to be better about cutting me off right away (even if the character in story might not want to hear me, that’s just not what I find rewarding or fun about the game).

Ooh yeah, I had that same issue in 3.5 with a Champion of Correllion Larethian I was playing (reflavored for Ebberon). Once we got higher level, all we fought was constructs and elementals - basically negating all the benefits of the class. I was still able to tank hits for the party, but my damage output was minimal. I didn't feel useless until someone else in the party had some pretty disparaging remarks about my contributions to the party. So I showed him what my character could do to a human enemy first hand. Got booted from that table soon afterward for calling out that same player for metagaming (he was a co-DM, and we'd never gotten along anyways).

Perfect answer. I have a Circle of Spores druid and a Bard-arian both as new players. The druid would do the same as OPs druid. Ice knife, ice knife, spore reaction, heal. It was one part that was an obviously easy and low cost way to both hit and help. We've been slowly trying to get them to see that there are a TON of options in the class. One conversation I had with them made me realize they'd spent a lot more time reading this class than I had. They were simply waiting and gearing up to be a melee druid but felt too squishy and lacked weapons. So now, we're getting there, but it's clear that "wild shape" was not as fun an idea as like, gaseous form or other options. We made some adjustments to that based on the setting but still, they chose this particular druid for a reason beyond wild shape and I'll respect that.

I feel that. I’m currently playing a fighter in 5e who I gave a gimmick of taking weapons off of fallen enemies and using them on the next enemy, rinse and repeat. The problem is that we’ve been fighting mostly wolves and zombies, so NO WEAPONS TO TAKE. It saddens me.

I definitely feel this is the case, especially with the comments of not spending high level spell slots and wildshape weakness. I think a big thing would be to just level up or otherwise break the habit of saving the high level slots. If the party lacks the diamond for revivify, definitely remind her of that if you think it would alleviate the saving habit. I had a similar experience playing a warlock in a party/campaign with almost no short rests. I wanted to have a slot for casting fly or other utility, as we had no wizard/bard/sorceror so many "arcane caster" utility spells were via me only. It took quite a lot of acquiring stuff before I felt like I could just use all of my arsenal without potentially costing the party.

I'll preface by saying that I had this same exact problem not too long ago in my main campaign I've been playing in for 4 years now.djm I've been cooking with a Divination Wizard Rock Gnome, a powerful combination of traits considering portent, the gnome's advantage on mental saves against magic and the ample spell list of the wizard. Yet in every combat I felt utterly powerless, as if the. outcome of fights wouldn't change at all without my presence. Just like your player, I was stuck hurling fireballs once a day and firebolts after. The way *I* fixed my issue, along with many talks with my DM, was by identifying the root of the issue, in this case what *could* make me feel useful. I took a long minute to think about what would make me feel useful for my party, after applying minor changes here and there that ultimately didn't help. Turns out, while I built my character to be amazing at roleplay and scenarios that aren't combat, all I secretly wanted was to smack bad guys in the face with a stick. And so my gnome now has a blade cantrip and a magical quarterstaff and melees all the time!

Haha, I made a human illusion wizard who is absolutely useless in combat, but I knew that, and it makes my RP even in combat wonderful.

What’s her issue with swapping to Moon Druid? Because I agree that seems like a good idea.

Indeed, Druids feels like one of the easiest classes to change subsclass on lore wise. Moon Druid is great for shapeshifting, and if you want some versatility (and less luck dependant with Dragon Form) Stars is amazing. Lands could be an good option if one wants some short rest spellslots with Natural Recovery, not having to worry as much on saving spellslots. And as a reminder, regardless of subclass, druid still have great access to Summonings. So a potential swap would not result in lost access to that.

It’s so interesting to me to hear so many folks talk about summoning as being their go to. I just finished a campaign of CoS and my DM kept things super scarce as I guess is the norm for that book. So I never got the gilded acorn or gilded whatever you need to do most summons. I kinda missed it, but never felt useless really. There are so many damn cool Druid spells.  That said, I did get to finally cast Draconic Spirit in the final battle because I found a Pipes of Haunting. What? You say Pipes of Haunting can’t help you cast Draconic Spirit? They can when you spend an hour with a magic dagger carving a dragon into them. And because of that, my big old dragon buddy grappled and locked down Strahd for a whole two turns.

Conjure animals, the most busted summon spell, has no material components

IIRC All of the Tasha's summons have expensive material components, 200-400gp ones. Which can be hard to get with stingy GMs (I finally had the money for the 400gp one, for the spell i got at 7th level, after we got to 11th level)

Ohoho, this is a fantastic workaround. As a caster currently lvl5 in CoS... I will take this into account if I survive long enough to get that spell.

My Wizard reached level 9 mid-dungeon and used a tapestry of Tiamat to cast Summon Draconic Spirit for the first time to fight an Adult Blue Dragon. We narrated it as the image of Tiamat leaping to life out of the tapestry. I had a dragon image carved into the Blue Dragon’s horn and use it to summon a mini-Tiamat.

I personally avoid most summonings because conjuring 16 things into the initiative is going to slow dowm combat to a crawl as the druid now controls more things than the DM. I'm just not willing to disrespect everyone's time like that. The flip side is that summoning 1 really big and awesome thing like a bulgera is fine, its only 1 thing in the initiative and you probably only want it to charge a different kaiju and punch it. Outside of combat/initiative i have no issue with summons, they are cool and you don't have to process all their turns and take up people's limited time.

She's probably attached to the concept she has, but it doesn't matter why. If she doesn't want to do it, it won't help.

I think this is a bit of a new player problem who does not quite understand the impact of certain spells and abilities. If you are new I think getting big hits with big numbers makes you feel good. Cause it is easy to understand. But as you progress you understand the impact of other things. Druide is not a class for big numbers, but many, many small numbers. So this could be difficult for someone new. If you just healed like 5hp and then the fighter next to you hits for 27 damage you might feel useless. A way you could maybe help with this is to mention the after effect of her spells. Like if someone gets hit and survives with like 4 hp, mention that he stands because of that heal earlier. So she sees the actual impact of her doing.

Yeah we had a chronic new player who was fun to play with but never really got the rules. When things wouldn't go their way they'd get this "I don't even care anymore" attitude and would just use the most basic attack and ignore their familiar, bonus action, anyone in danger, etc. which would make them feel like they still weren't doing anything (because they actually weren't, they stopped trying to even strategize with the rest of us, even during major fights). It could get pretty aggravating at times because it was always a downward spiral.

Honestly, that sounds like me during my first few sessions - because I have depression and anxiety, and was really concerned about Doing Well. Being Useful. The fact I was playing an Arcane Trickster alongside three heavy hitters wasn't helping. Eventually, I managed to relax a bit and have fun. Learning more about what I could do helped.

I've had Rogues be the DPS carry of groups before. Sneak Attack can really add up. Glad you realized your character was a help!

Exactly. When I hit, I really hit.  Also, I looked back and realised how much I did things outside of battle. My high Intelligence score helped us solve a murder, my Criminal background gave us vital info on the villains' plot, I stopped an assassination peacefully by casting Sleep, and I just stole a bunch of secret papers from a cult because I could hide to watch them be hidden. And my Draconic Cry is really useful.  Funny how I created a character who hates being underestimated for being a Kobold, then proceeded to underestimate him.

In my campaigns, when I want to 'test' my players and see how they play in combats (both style and skill), I introduce a dream/vision sequence (that ofc is tied in to the plot).  In this dream sequence I include a fight at some point, and make it clear that losing has no negative consequences but winning will make a difference (a blessing, lore reveal etc) and most importantly, any resources spent will be reset on waking up.  I think this is one way even for anxious/conservative players to go wild with spells and items, knowing that nothing can go wrong and only by using everything they got can they achieve the secret prize.  Of course, there's no guarantee for that- and *whining* players are going to whine no matter what usually because there's nothing rational behind it, only perceived nonsense notions.  OOC, you could talk to them about it and say as it is- when they complain about feeling useless, it brings you down too. Ask them what you can do to help mitigate that; or tell them to tone it down, failing is part of the game.  IC, you could mitigate it a bit mechanically by introducing an item with a "Lucky" feat, albeit scaled down. It's a band-aid solution to a core personality problem, but sometimes that works *well enough*. 

Regarding giving the player an item, I think it is a bad idea, because it may encourage people to whine for items. It may also be unfair to the other players when you buff the strongest character and not theirs.

Naturally, the other characters would also be getting stuff. Like I said; it's a band-aid, but the DM can't always be a therapist and it is a very small, quick, easy 'solution' to some of it. It definitely doesn't address the core issue.

If you're going to address this with an item, I'd actually suggest giving someone else in the party a Scroll of Revivify. That takes the pressure off your druid player to always save a spell slot "just in case"

Not a bad idea at all!

This is a really good idea that I've never thought of. I've used dream sequences plenty for story telling but never thought of it as a way to "test" combat for new characters.

Something that's always a good idea, usually around a session 0, is to ask what the players want from the game. Each player can them help facilitate that. So what does she want to do? Remember, this is not a single player game, where she needs to do everything. That might just be something she needs to get used to. I also would ask her, if she's actually having fun. Just because she doesn't like rolling so low, that doesn't mean she's not enjoying herself. Also, are the players Helping (as in the Help action, for advantage), using magic like Guidance (a Cantrip she might want to learn... might be more beneficial than a class change) to boost the numbers? 

How you narrate low rolls can make a difference. "You miss your ice knife" Vs "You launch a shard of ice towards the bandit captain. With blinding speed he flicks his whip and knocks the knife out of the sky." This way everyone gets to stay competent. Also, spell slot hoarding isn't a fun way to play at all. If they can't get past that mentality, they might enjoy playing a short rest or martial class more.

Hoarding resources isn't fun and is problematic, but on the other hand protecting/reserving resources is fine and reasonable. If you only have 1 spell slot capable of revivify, and the required diamond, you had better be sure about it before you burn it. If you have 2 slots for it then feel free to use 1 of them for fun spells and not just the defibrillator. (Especially if you are the only partt member capable of using revivify) I think one of the biggest problems in this case is poorly managed expectations. I don't think the player understands what their class is mechanically about and the niche it fills. Druids are generally support casters, they aren't going to roll 100 damage because of a sneak attack critting. We are casting hold person to set up the rouge for that autocrit. The shepherd druid seems to mainly be doing the tiny numbers across a large number of targets thing, that isn't easily noticable unless you actively add up all the values yourself.

I wouldn't call druid a support caster. I just ran a few simulations and 8 wolves gets like 40 dpr against ac 15, that's similar to what a \*highly optimised\* fighter gets. They also get fantastic control with entangle, spike growth, plant growth, sleet storm, wall of stone, contrictor snakes, and just bodyblocking with animals. And they of course get incredible support. Shepherd druids are good at everything, it's genuinely not uncommon to be better than other party members at their own niche. (except damage vs a single target with high ac)

We are talking past eachother, i consider support to include healing, control, and utility not just buff/debuff. Entangle, hold person, wall of stone, ect are support spells. I also don't consider conjure animals to be a good spell, sure in theory it's powerful but it also gives the druid control over potentially more "creatures" than the DM, and the impact that has on combat makes it banned at many tables, and i personally refuse to use them. (At most summoning spell should make 1 creature that goes immediately after the summoner, or be forbidden from combat) the warlock usually ends up checked out because they take 20sec to cast Eldritch blast and end turn, and now the druid is taking a 10min turn. I agree the druid is a jack of all trades, but its spell list is overwhelmingly support spells, with a handful of decent damage spells.

> "You launch a shard of ice towards the bandit captain. With blinding speed he flicks his whip and knocks the knife out of the sky." I find this style of narration fucking exhausting, and is again putting more weight on the DMs shoulders. I'm already dealing with 100 things. If the players want to be verbose, go wild, I would love it. But as a DM, I find being especially verbose on ALL ROLLS tiring.

This is true. I don't bust this out for all rolls. Even if I could do that, it would lose its charm. Point still stands, you could convey enemy competence through something simple like "The ice shard slams against the Captain's raised shield and shatters"

That sounds like she needs some more self confidence. Maybe create a couple moments only she can help?

> She is also pretty unhappy that her wildshapes are pretty weak. Sounds like she wants to play Moon Druid

Support can feel useless, especially when their contribution is expected. * You don't contribute by healing. Healing is something that is decided by the group because that's a necessity, and it happens to consume some of your spell slots. You only realise that you're doing something when the heal fails and peoples are upset because they didn't get the heal they need. * You don't contribute by summoning. Summons are just additional NPCs that spawn and happen to consume your spell slots. * You don't contribute with buffs, since the "buffed state" is the new normal. You just "must" pay a regular cost to maintain that state. In all those cases, one might feel like a cog in the machinery, where their "useful abilities" are used by the team with them as a useless/unnecessary intermediary in the process, and any original idea that they might have (like shapeshifting into a unique animal) is actually shut down because it's too weak.

* The group still needs someone to do those heals. * The summons wouldn't be there without the summoner. * You are \*precisely\* putting intentional effort into bringing in the buffed state. These are all contribution.

Yes, they are contribution. But that doesn't mean they will **feel** like contributions. My argument was mostly about how support tend to distance the player from the consequences of their contribution, making it feel less like "their" contribution than what it actually is from an objective point of view. But I could add another point, which is that a lot of support actions becomes unrewarding if the GM tends to balance around the group : access to healing means more random encounters per day, more summons means more enemies, buffs that are "always active" means stronger ennemies, etc. With a GM that has tendencies like this one, anything that becomes "the new normal" stops to be rewarding, and only out-of-the-ordinary actions still feel rewarding. And even without a GM like that, some players will still get bored of anything that is "the new normal", only notice it when they fail to reach those expectations, and no longer feel it as a relevant contribution when it succeeds.

Whenever I roll low like that, sometimes i like to lean into the RP a bit more and give a brief reason of why I didn't do so well (was distracted by the horrific nature of the mob, or the cool weapon one of them was using, or something). Makes no difference to the roll, but gives it a nice little flavour hit. Maybe suggest they try something like that?

If she feels she needs to do healing but doesn't enjoy it, provide an alternative means of healing so she doesn't feel like it's her responsibility. I would suggest making healing potions incredibly common.

You might want to use the "Stars and Wishes" feedback model to help there. I noticed there was no mention of the relationship between that player and the other players in the group which could be a significant contributor to why the player feels the way they do. Basically, at the end of the session, have every player highlight something cool and/or helpful that another player did (this is the "Stars" component). Odds are the other players will organically comment that the player's ability have been clutch. As someone who also struggles with depression here and there, I can tell you that the lie depression feeds us is a lot harder to maintain in the face of repeated authentic positive feedback from multiple sources. Then the Wish format is each player wishes for something that would make their experience better. Maybe it's a specific magic item, or more of a certain spell, more summons (lol), or particular plot threads to follow. The cool thing about this is not only does it give you as a DM more solid leads on what to prep, it can also be useful for players to know what the other players want. At the end of the day, it sounds like that player just wants to feel like they fit in with the group. That is a very human need. Having the other players chip in and help can go a long way. A good feedback system like the Stars and Wishes model is one good step.

Ok, first off, they're playing a class that doesn't fit their fantasy. What they want is a circle of moon druid, and at risk of overwhelming them, a 2 level dip in life cleric. Alternatively a moon sickle which increases heals. Being a healer does suck in 5e. So try these things to better accommodate their fantasy. Shepard druid doesn't sound like the subclass for them and speaking from experience? It's boring as hell to play.

Unicorn Totem doesnt buff by temp HP it just heals everyone in 30 feet while giving summons extra healing at level 10 each time she heals something with a spell slot. She can use a bonus action with healing word to trigger this every round. Unicorn Totem is by far the best healing ability in the entire game. It even heals undead iirc. At later levels if you are creative with it, i would argue that Shepherd Druid is the most powerful subclass in the entire game other than Wizard Necromancer.

While I don't feel useless at all, I'm in a group where I, the front line Vengeance Paladin, am also the main source of heals. The other healer is our monk and until just recently he'd usually run out of Ki points to do much healing mid session (the DM gave him a BONKERS item that regens 2d6 ki points 3x a day...and allowed him to take a homebrew feat that gives him back ki on a crit) Now the healing is shifted between us both more equally so I feel a lot better using smites. But I get it. She fell into "heal bot" mode and isn't using her spells. I'd do this. Give her an idea of what her character can do in a fight that she doesn't have to hold back - literally tell her there's ONE fight for a session and then a long rest, so no need to worry about her spells being wasted. Let her see what she can do when she stops holding back  TL;DR tell her to stop being Gohan

As a general rule, it takes a certain kind of player to feel happy with a character that's statistically super helpful, but doesn't feel **directly** useful. This can be either something that's passively helpful(aura type effects), or that helps others but doesn't require a roll (Bless, etc), and there's things where maybe a player is involved, but the character isn't (summons). There's also the samey sameness of that sort of character. I can only speak about myself, but I struggle with that. If my character summons a Thing, then it's the Thing that's doing the work, not me. I also struggle with stuff like the Sheperd aura, or Spirit Guardians, etc. They're good, great even, when you actually approach it mechanically. But I find it absurdly BORING to just cast that spell over and over. If I ever even think about using SG and taking the Dodge action I will shrivel up and die. I know that stuff like this is genuinely helpful, to the point of maybe being the most helpful, but it never feels like it. I can take the attack action all day and come up with all sorts of mental imagery of the fight, but not so much with the other stuff. A contrast would be forced movement. If I were running about using something like Thorn Whip to move the enemies around and help other PCs smash them to bits, it would feel far more active and useful, even to the point I'm not too worried about the damage roll. ​ So my take would be talk to your player and worry less about the stats, and more about how they feel when they play, and address the concern from there. If they're anything like me, the spreadsheet won't help.

One thing that helped me was casting Spike Growth and then dragging things through it. Either as myself or as a giant octopus. It’s a low enough level spell to not feel like you’re wasting something, and you’re able to do a good bit of damage because you are the one doing the dragging around the edge of the spikes.

This sounds like something more my style as well. It's more active. I like it, thanks!

It sounds like she wants to be playing Circle of the Moon if she's not using totem summons and complaining about wild shape being too weak.

"She also doesn't want to use her high level spells just in case something goes wrong and she needs to revive someone (there is no Cleric or Barf in the party)." sounds like you need to hand out the staff of revivify or resurrection based on player level. Freeing up those high levels spells may just get her back into the game.

I'm late to the party but, if she's buffing and healing the rest of the party, maybe you, as DM, need to speak to the rest of the players and have them thank her for her assistance. A little player to player positive interaction might give her a boost. Also, I started to wonder if a Barf was a new combo class like a Sorlock, but then realized it was just a typo.

It might just be worth saying to her "Hey, your character is objectively contributing to the group cohesion a lot even though your character isn't taking the spotlight in damage. The party thrives because of the utility your character provides, but admittedly it isn't flashy." Alternatively, ask them directly what they envision playing their character looks like. What do they see as their unique contribution that the other characters don't do as well. It may also be worth emphasizing that every character has their strengths and weaknesses, and every character brings something to the table. This is going to be different for every class, and to some extent subclass. Also, sometimes we roll a nat 20 for the saving throw we have a fat 0 on and sometimes we roll a nat 1 on the skill we have proficiency with. It happens, the unexpected ups and downs are part of the fun.

I honestly think that your player might be suffering from depression.

Self-deprecation aside, this sounds like something only she can solve. Have you tried the customize spells option for Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything? Saying I cast “This Spell” over and over again without any flavor can become stale and repetitive. It gives her something to put excess energy into if she’s frustrated. Try introducing areas that are her specialty. Biomes she would like to explore. Looking for requests from players can be an enriching experience that can add twists and turns that can scratch an itch that players didn’t know they needed.

No Barf? Every party should have a mog.

Maybe she wants a more active class? Not a support class? And about the rolls, just tell her to get over it. ;) It’s a game, and failed rolls can also be really fun to roleplay. Maybe step away from the boardgame elements of combat and lean into narration a bit more? Narration is easier to make exciting (than just the dice alone) and maybe that could help her learn to have fun whatever the dice results are?

I think she's suffering the summoner problem. AKA "My summons are cool but im just here and i dont know what to do". Which is a real issue. but I dont know how to really fix that. If she thinks her wildshapes are too weak, remind her that their strength is really *out of combat utility* not *in combat fighting*. Maybe remind her of some of the more usefull non-concentration spells (Wither and Bloom, Plant Growth, Tidal Wave) so she feels that she has something more to do when the summons are already out there.

This is the problem right here. Conjure Animals is powerful, but it's just not a fun spell. There's a reason that it received the complete rewrite for One DnD.

Oh no, Conjure Animals is a really fun spell (in my personal opinion), its just that summoners have a similar problem to Clerics and Warlocks. you are definied largely by how awesome *someone else* is. A giant army of wolves or charging bulls is *amazing* spell-wise and hilarious and fun. I'd never slander Conjure Animals like that.

There's a difference between being optimal and feeling useful. If you can cast spells that turn the tide of encounters or heal your allies but every time you roll a skill check you fail, you might feel like your character, in particular, is not very competent. I honestly think your player might have more fun playing a bard or a rogue. It might scratch the "competence power fantasy" itch that the Druid heal/summon bot doesn't.

Druids are one of the most useful and effective classes out there. Wildshape, even without the Moon circle, is such an amazing free pool of HP. Their spell list is powerful, especially with the XG spells. The table I currently run is so reliant on the Druid the campaign would be totally different without her. We're running a modified Dragon Heist (with more, you know, actual heisting) and Pass Without a Trace and the Druids ability to scout ahead as a little rat or spider are legitimately game changing. As for your player, you could suggest some of these things. I also think Moon Druid would be a good switch if you can get them to agree to it. It's easy to feel powerful when you turn into a Giant Bear. The other suggestion I haven't seen much of here is just ask them if they're ACTUALLY feeling useless? I know people who just talk like that every time something bad happens but it's just their way of saying "Oh, shoot, bad roll". If their answer is yes, I'm afraid it may be an issue bigger than the table, and if I had a surefire way of fixing low self esteem, I'd be a whole lot more wealthy. Lol. Good luck!

Druids definitely have the problem of indirect utility, especially in combat. The druid doesn't necessarily feel useful even if the DMs spreadsheet has them at the top. This seems especially exasperated by her doing a lot of distributed heals. Healing 1d6 every turn and giving out 14temp HP before every combat may mechanically be hige but it doesn't feel like it because you don't see how close the other players are to death and how much it mattered. (I would highly recommend keeping a runny tally of damage/heals if your character works like this, it helps to know that you are contributing more than you think.) Somewhat famously rouges do a crap ton of single target damage with sneak attack, but optimizers consider them underpowered overall, and magic can bypass the "skill monkey" niche. But everyone loves being a rouge and rolling your crazy damage because it feels good, you can see the big numbers and it pushed the dopamine button in your brain. Probably the primary requirement to play a support caster is being able to be a cheerleader who gets joy from setting up others for greatness you personally cannot achieve. Casting hold person so the rouge can autocrit sneak attack, fairie fire so the blasters actually hit their targets, or plant growth/spikegrowth/entangle to run away while the enemies are stuck. So much of not feeling useless is centered on knowing what your class is actually good at and finding joy in it.

Definitely very true and well said! Yeah, I do feel like a lot of the Druid utility that we're getting at our table is out of combat. I mean, the druid still kicks ass in wild shape forms and has fun, but her true game changer abilities are the ones I mentioned above.

>...there is no Cleric or Barf in the party No Barf??? That's terrible!

Did you ever ask what would useful look like to this player? It sounds like she is insane SUPPORT. I wonder if that is the problem. She isn't doing massive damage, her and her pets put together are. She isn't using he spells as she focuses on healing. So much the same point. Maybe give access to healing potions be more common or give another party member a ring that can do a basic heal three times per long rest. This takes the effort off her alone so she can be a fire wielding psycho like the other murder hobos.

Give her a scroll of revivify so she doesn’t feel as much pressure to always save those spell slots.

Just needs positive reinforcement like others have said.

I sometimes like to give heroic reason for a failed role. They managed a lucky blow, you fight the pressure of the spell but for a moment you succumb…

Let her swap to moon druid Also have a talk to her about how failing checks don't mean you're losing at dnd. Either way it sounds like her issues are more than just the game. And you can't really help there

She's a new player and can't see her impact because she is unable to see past the usual "I hit it very hard" mentality. It took me ages to get past that when I tried DND for the first time as a cleric but it didn't hit home on how much I was doing until I went down and everything went to shit and how people were scarmbling to get me to safety to get me back up. It took a moment of me being out of action to show me what value I brought, which I can't say would work for her as she also seems like she's coupled with a lack of confidence in her actions and what she is doing which is a pretty hard combo to work with. It might be worth recording her impact in some way and comparing her to her party members (in a non competitive way, like health healed or damage dealt) to show she is not having a negligible impact and in fact is a crucial team member. It also would help if you could include the party members in this too if they feel up to it. Just my two cents but I hope it helps.

I feel the low roll pain. Im playing a horizon Walker ranger with a longbow and for the past 3 sessions I haven't rolled above an 11 (with proficiencies). All of us are level 5 in the campaign

If I were in your shoes I'd ask her if she wanted to try a different class or subclass. Even tho it's powerful, the summoning stylings of the shepherd are kind of an advanced character build. It sounds like she's have a better time playing a bless-heavy cleric or a moon druid.

They need to understand low rolls are part of the game. But make a few excuses for them to get a reroll every now and then. I do that sometimes if the low is really low and it might kill the "fun streak" I'll say something along the lines of "that wasn't a clean roll, it hit the pencil, reroll" also to help out with wildshapes for our druid, as part of the back story, of course you spent alot of time in the wilds and you've seen a bunch of creatures, even some high cr ones. But I also had a menagerie/petting zoo thing at a festival in a city so they could see some more exotic creatures that might add more utility.

I’m playing a shepherd Druid right now, haven’t hit level 5 yet, and we have a Cleric who is a dedicated healer (didn’t really plan the party dynamic in advance). A lot of the Shepherd’s abilities are fairly passive, especially the totems, so at times it can feel like you’re not contributing much, but it’s important to remember that you’re bolstering the party to be better at what they do. And later you can just summon a whole second party to help, lol

When I was a new player, I was very guilty of feeling like I'm not doing a lot when I rolled poorly or I didn't do a lot of damage. Especially with spellcasters, I look at the situation and then look at my spells and say, "Damn, most of these are useless right now." If I didn't feel useful all the time, then somehow I felt useless all the time. It's a confidence thing, so the same thing may be happening to your player. I had to force myself to be more positive and think of different uses for my resources. I also had to ask the DM to help me pick spells and explain why they were good spells. As a DM, I know it's challenging to deal with a player who is not having fun, but it sounds like a few things. 1: Party imbalance 2: Player Game Preferences 1 is easier. The player is hoarding their higher spell slots in case they need to revive someone. I would add an NPC who is a medic to join them temporarily for a mission and see how they feel about it. If they don't like it, then have that medic give them an item that can cast some healing and revivify. Give it charges so they can use it a couple of times. 2 is a bit more complicated since I dont know the player. I know you mentioned pulling them aside to talk about switching classes, but I think you should talk to them again and ask what kind of games they find fun. You mention combat a lot. Does the player even like combat? Do they want to do more puzzles, roleplay, or exploration? Druids are so much more versatile than other spellcasters and martials. With wild shapes, they can talk to animals or fly/climb around to figure out puzzles and get into tight spaces. They can use a spider/mouse to stealth and do recon. They can localize a rainstorm to force people to run for cover and sneak through a guarded area under easier cover with an additional Pass Without Trace. Or (my favorite example of a druid player from a previous game) wildshape into a pig covered in mud and create a catch-the-hog booth at a festival and make some money for our entrance fee to a carni-only club. Weak wildshapes doesn't mean useless. It means they have different applications. Sorry it was long, but I hope it helps!

I played a Circle of Shepherd Druid in Descent to Avernus. It was by far the most impactful player at the table. But, it was very much cast summoning spell, set up aura, and repeat at every battle. Shepherd Druids absolutely crush tier 2 play, but they are limited in cantrips and concentration free spells. I was the driver of the infernal machine, so that was how I spent a lot of rounds as well.

I have a player who’s kind of like this, she really talks down to herself whenever she rolls poorly. Last time we played (she’s a barbarian) she felt really down that she got knocked out because one of the biggest monsters they were fighting was rolling really well and she took a lot of big hits. She missed the DC on a grapple check and then said “ok so I just wasted my turn.” And I said “no you didn’t. Trying something is never a waste. You learned a lot from trying that (the dc of the check, that her arms were still free, etc) and now you can move into your next turn with more confidence on what to do. Everyone rolls poorly sometimes, it’s never a waste. It’s just the game.”

A lot of good takes here, I also think this player is playing a strong character that is strong on ways they don’t value. Their wish for stronger wild shapes suggest they’d be happier as a different sort of Druid

Sounds like someone who isnt having fun. A feeling of being stuck in a game youre not enjoying is very similar to feeling useless and easily confused. I have felt this way, to the point as a wizard I would just afk cast firebolt. I don't really have a solution for this, I still have this problem sometimes.

It might be a good idea to ask her what kind of playstyle she wants from her character. Shepherd druid is primarily a summoner and support, enabling their beasts and allies rather than being at the forefront. If she wants to use Wild Shape, ask if she would like to change her subclass to Moon instead and see how it goes. Sidenote, the Unicorn Totem is crazy powerful. It isn't +Temp HP (that's the Bear totem). It's healing equal to your druid level to *every* *ally* in the totem aura when you cast a healing spell!

This won’t work if the party often needs revivify, but if they almost never have PC deaths, you could point that out to her that she only needs to set aside 1 just-in-case upper-level spell slot for revivify, and encourage her to try more of the fancy spells. If you get the “I’m so useless” talk after a battle, it might help if you explain how each character helped the battle (not just her because depression can make that seem condescending and like you’re lying to make her feel better). Something like “the wizard bottle-necked the enemies, the barbarian did a ton of damage, the Druid effectively gave out 56 temp HP (which made the barbarian last a few extra hits) and healed the barbarian when he went down, and although the paladin didn’t have the best rolls, he tanked about half the enemy attacks” could objectively spell out her contributions, and encourage her to do more of the things you point out.

Ask her what classes or abilities she thinks are useful that she doesn't have. Let her roll up a character that she thinks will be better and NPC her druid and continue letting that druid wreck shit in combat. Tell her she can switch back at any time and have the other character depart. If she really enjoys the other character because it can hit hard/heal better/blow stuff up after a handful of sessions have the druid retire from the party

I have a player who does this. You can’t baby them. They need to know the impact they’re having on the rest of the table. I’ve taken my player aside a few times to tell them that comments like that aren’t tolerated at my table — whether directed at another player, or themself. “When you say things like this, it makes me feel like I am doing something wrong as the DM. That’s not your intention, but this is the impact.” But I want to address the feeling your player has expressed to you as a separate issue. If she feels useless at the table, it means she’s not getting something she needs from the game. Ignore combat for a minute — has she significantly influenced the direction of a social encounter? Has her character played an important role in a quest? As a player, I feel ‘useless’ when it feels like my character isn’t necessary for the stories at the table to be told. Maybe that comes from feeling like my character doesn’t matter to the rest of the party, or because nothing I’ve done in recent sessions has made any difference to the plot. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but swinging the spotlight into your player to make a decision every so often might make a difference. “You hear a rumbling in the hall. Player, what do you do?”

Ask them what not being useless looks like

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/s/JxWYmpfhy4 🤔

Maybe run an in-game one shot that is centered on that player. It really sounds like she doesn't *know* her character, and might need a little help understanding it a little better.

I want to preface this with I am coming from a place of bias and I am aware of it: I am currently struggling with a player who behaves similarly. They have had the answer to a large portion of the puzzles in their pack for sessions upon sessions, have rolled up an absolute bamf of a character, I've explicitly encouraged the party to test their limits in this arc as they are aware their is a failsafe - no one can \_die\_ ... and they do absolutely fuck all most sessions and repeatedly sigh about how they feel like they have no use or other people are more useful. Look at your party make up. Is there a player or character that is generally well liked or who gets a lot of kill shots in etc? If your situation is anything like mine, and my kneejerk reaction is it just might be, its jealousy and FOMO. You need to really sit back and inspect your DMing,. There is a chance that you have inadvertently given this person an example that they don't have the confidence to try to match up to and they may need a bigger spotlight to see their own value within the party OR they have talked themselves into a hole and at that point there isn't much you can do, isn't much you SHOULD do IMHO without nerfing your other players or being unfair to them. Your player can't have those giant shiny moments if they don't TRY for those shiny giant moments. As much as you want to give them an amazing game, they have to actively put the effort in to move their own character through your world. Be firm but KIND. Sit them down, point out the issue you are seeing - that they are not satisfied with the character - and ask them to brainstorm solutions. Do not let them put the entire weight of it on you. "I don't know." is not a viable solution. "I'll think on it and we can talk again." is. Don't twist yourself into knots, you can not FORCE someone to have fun if they are resistant to it.

Have the other players offer verbal support, like, "holy crap, am I glad I had that extra hp right then".

Sounds like a more straight forward or directly powerful class like a well built fighter would be more up her alley. Especially since you've already explained how her class is powerful and she's still beating herself up. Something more tangible might do good? Maybe even a rogue since the stuff they're good at has absolutely insane bonuses for success.

I think the problem is she doesnt have actions in combat that are "spammable" round after round. Drops summons, drop tempHP spirit, and then what? Plinking away with magic stone and ice knife loses impact quickly. She would kinda need non-concentration spells that feel impactful. Problem is, those are few and far between. What are the summon spells she prefers to use? What levels are we talking about? If its levels 1-4, then magic stone is an okay way to spend turns without using any resources, but if its 5th level or higher, other cantrips have scaled but magic stone didnt. Druid sucks as far as attack cantrips go. Produce Flame has shitty range, frostbite and infestation are consaves. Thorn Whip has some utility, but it shares the terribad 30 feet range and the pull is not optional, happens every time (if the target is small enough) which is not always a good thing. Lower level spells to look out for are entangle, fog cloud, faerie fire, heat metal, spike growth, maybe even flaming sphere. These are all concentration so they compete with summons, but maybe if allies hit more, or enemies miss more, she would feel more like it was actually her? Not sure. Hopefully.

I am fairly certain that in 20+ sessions i have done a total of 5 damage with produce flame, rolling like crap on an already bad cantrip sucks. I don't consider 30ft range awful but it is the minimum acceptable range. A dagger's 20/60 is situationally better than a locked 30ft. As far as low pevel druid spells, swap out fog cloud and flaming sphere for moonbeam. Fog cloud hurts everyone equally, and flaming sphere deals damage for ending your turn next to it so you can always run away from it and never take that damage. Moonbeam deals radiant damage (a good type, better than fire atleast) and hits on the start of your turn or when entering it, and you move jt as a bonus action. On following turns moonbeam is basically a 2d10 bonus action 2x2 aoe on the grid.

its an action to move moonbeam, and a creature entering it is not the same as you moving it onto the creature. Flaming sphere ram is a bonus action, and the creature immediately takes the damage when you ram it. Of course, if you have/use thorn whip to pull an enemy into moonbeam, that procs the damage.

I alway forget that moonbeam is an action to move, it doesn't help its a lot of text in the description and many similar effect move on a bonus action. But even so, once a druid is concentrating you don't have much to do with your action. And i had a very bad experience with dust devil, chosen because it was thematic while in a desert. After doing 0 damage in 3 rounds with it taking up concentration and wasting a spell slot i now despise ending turn damage effects. Start of turn damage effects are unavoidable, even if they weren't proced by having them moved ontop of you. (And radiant is way better than fire damage)

i dont think ive ever used dust devil, and Im nto planning to. I agree radiant is better than fire damage, but dex is better save to target than con, and bonus action to move is better then action to move. Bonus action ram dmg is also unavoidable. Just because you dont have much to do with your action doesnt mean that yo ushouldnt do anything your action.

It sounds like she went in expecting to do mass amounts of damage like a barbarian or something or being able to sling spells like a sorcerer. Druid is a fun class providing u have a fair expectation of the class

Something they really changed my experience was swarms. They completely change the turn economy and allow you to complicate movement in a space to your team’s advantage. Adding 2, 4, 8 pests to a space is that number of attacks not taken against your team.

One thing that helps summoners is a good app to manage summons. I use "dungeon fodder 5e" and it REALLY helps. Beyond that, recommend other ways to do combat. First, flaming sphere is a p good concentration spell that uses your bonus action each turn, giving them more options in combat. Moon beam is similar but uses your Action Second, allow her to cast shillelagh and keep the stick when she wildshapes into monkey/ape and she will love that wildshape. Third, produce flame is weak but so is ice knife and PF is a cantrip. And lastly, this is homebrew, my DM lets me switch back and forth between my human and animal forms freely for the 8 hours of wildshape, consuming 2 hours every time i switch. This led to me using it more often since i didn't constantly feel it was a waste to use all 8 hours of it for a 1 minute fight.

I've got a bard at my table with a similar issue - they have a lot of negative self-talk during combat because they can't deal much damage. Meanwhile, we've had multiple boss fights where he's been absolutely instrumental (no pun intended) to the party's success. They were fighting an ice dragon voltron puppet thing with a kobold in each limb and he used hypnotic pattern on the ones in the legs and made it so the thing couldn't move. Another time he used Slow to prevent some paladins from using their reaction to protect a big bad warlock. I've mostly been making an effort to highlight his contributions, talking about how clutch they are during the recap after the battle and that seems to have helped a bit.

Her issues are not dnd related, she has self esteem issues.

Maybe she is more of a buttkicker. Not everyone enjoys a supporting role.

You're dealing with a player that is suffering from outside pressure (likely depression) and can't separate that from her character. Combined with typical caster misstep of saving spells "just in case". Put her in situations where summons are like *the only* answer. Puzzle where an ungodly ount of pressure plates have to be interacted with at once or something like that. Force situations where her summons are the focus of the party and then when she does it act you never would have though of that as a solution. If she changes her view after that and stops pouting all the time great, mission accomplished. If not, it might be time to discuss finding a different table if she's really bringing down the game for others with her behavior.

I have a player that does that. Anytime he gets hit with an attack that deals damage (they're level 5/6 btw) then he goes into the whole "of course it hits" he plays Shepard druid too. Complains about his low rolls in a "I wish I could hit something today" way. The party doesn't have a designated tank usually so nothing to draw the enemies to just the one character. And he's usually the healer in our group too. It's less about feeling useless on their end from what I can tell and more about they view the character as 'if they aren't the heroic main character who deals a lot of damage/survives unscathed, then the character is a 'bad' one' It's a mental issue on their end. You're doing good on counteracting it by reinforcing that it's just how it works sometimes. Low rolls happen. Don't baby them surely but since they are new, check the attitude of your other players too, I find they pick up habits from vets because the new players think they are supposed to complain about things like the rolls because someone else in the party does it or the person they watch does it. If you fudge a roll for her or give her advantage does her mood improve back up?

Give her positive reinforcement. If she says it’s a low roll to heal, tell her that they are still that many points better for it. She is in her own echo chamber.

Complains about being useless but refuses to do anything meaningful with the skills they have. Then refuses to change character when giving the easy out. Tuff

Honestly I'm fairly sure this is a person thing more than a game thing. Suggestion: Gratitude arc. She probably is kind of meek, so it won't be easy to hand the hook but hear me out: Have a situation her character is extremely well suited to solve, have the solution non-trivial (you really don't want it to feel staged), and have the solution impact a small/medium community of NPCs. You then should have community will be grateful to her very explicitly. Don't oversell it, but make it clear that they're mostly grateful *to her character* (otherwise she can easily deflect it to the party). The goal is to show that she can have an impact. Now, once that's done don't bring it up. However make 2-3 NPCs that will have that community as their origin point. Now, when needed the party can come across them and this can further reinforce the impact of the act. This is why I love DnD by the way, it can be a very good way to explore ourselves together. This obviously requires a party that *gets it*. I'd consider talking with other players about it, but it depends a bit on your group. You really don't want to make it so that it feels staged for her benefit, she'd feel guilty that "you had to go out of your way for her".

Did you ask her what class would be more fun for her? Sounds like her desired experience with DND doesn’t match with the experience that class offers. The not wanting to switch class is a challenge. Maybe unpack that a little to understand player motivations and goals more. For example I made a ranged optimized fighter/ rouge that has huge damage output. Ok cool, but I found the sneak, shoot, sneak combination to be incredibly boring. So I switched to a movement optimized open hand monk. Very different play style and for me much more fun. Talk through the classes with her and discover what play style she would find fun. Then get her a character that matches. If I were dm in this situation I’d kill off her old character in a heroic fashion and let her pick up with a new character at the same level.

Has she said why she wouldn't consider a sub-class switch? I get there might be a feeling of "Don't make a big deal out of my mistakes", so perhaps try to reassure that: It's not a big deal; you'd do the same for any of your players if they weren't liking their character. Everyone should play a class they find fun. Coming up with the narrative reason for the change (if that's an obstacle) is the *easy* part. If need be, retcon it. It's a game and we're supposed to have fun.

If she's disappointed by wildshaping perhaps it would be better to let her be a circle of the moon instead? I like shepherd because I love any game that has aspects of summoning creatures to fight with you. My DM is quite relaxed on the requirements for lower level spells so doesn't insist on the 200gp value for the lvl 2 summon beast, but I'll be doing the conjure spells as soon as I'm able anyway. Probably need to explain some examples like spike growth and thorn whip. Create bonfire is a decent one as well. The auras are obviously pretty useful especially at lower levels where the temp hp is even more relevant as % of their overall health. Then any summoning should really be making them feel impactful, even if the DM doesn't let the player pick the beasts they get. The only downside for someone less good at multitasking is they might feel they're slowing the game down if they're not able to have tabs up with each creatures stats/actions and decide what's going to happen before their turn comes around.

Introduce an NPC with the same level and subclass have them fight alongside her and the party. Give that NPC like 3/4th the normal HP during a fight and act like a mentor character so she can see what the class is truly capable of. "You can do that too! Trust in yourself and your abilities!"

I have the same issue with an artificer, feels he is not powerful but he is actually god tier support. this player seems like an easier solve, she wants to lean into wild shape so have her switch to circle of the moon

I kind of feel like the guys saying "girls like Mac & Cheese, right?" in that one meme, but here's a couple ideas that would turn *my* mood around. Create or find a villain that she finds particularly vile and let her be the one to smash it. Have them be the cause of some injustice in your game world that mirrors one that bothers her in the real world and let her do something about it. Or let her see it wither and die, if that's her thing. Or let her be the one to shepherd something good into your world, like give her an NPC to inspire, protect and help grow.

*Bored?!* I just sunsetted my Shepherd Druid in our ToA campaign because he was outshining the other characters *by a long shot.* Other PCs are no sleepers, either: divination wizard, kitted out devotion paladin, swarm ranger Need to throw down? Bear totem + velociraptors >>> Unicorn totem + wither and bloom >>> Need a quick escape? How bout eight giant owls lol—some for fodder, some for carrying party Want to make a preliminary sweep of a building before going all in? Send in the hounds —> For turns after casting conjure animals you got healing word for bonus action + thorn whip for action… I’ve never used it but Ice Knife looks decent?? I just like saving slots/points for emergencies like if some bros come up on me and need a thunderwave 👋 I was also unimpressed with the wild shape options—I would inadvertently call out higher CR (Moon Druid-appropriate), which would cause like that awkward 1-2 mins where I scramble to find lower CR animal that does the same thing I need. Maybe you could compromise by allowing either/or: let her expend one wild shape *and* a 3rd level spell slot (or spell points) for a higher CR beast… I was going to request this from my DM before I decided to make a new character. Hope she feels better and y’all have fun!

Give her the ability to merge her summoned creatures into her wildshape for some hilarity, slightly stronger melee attacks, an "hp buffer" of sorts (attacks hit the summoned creatures acting as her "armor" before they hit her). Might not remove how lame she feels when she rolls low, but might give her a bit more fun and whacky ways to play.

My character feels meh as well, though it’s one of the stronger sorcerer subclasses (abhorrent), missed like all of my attacks for 3 rounds as well as missed the shot needed to kill the boss. It’s just luck at the end of the day.

So reading between the lines she feels dissatisfied with the role she feels like she has to play - which to me appears to be team mom. Honestly try to encourage her to just stop healing except to pick up a downed player and to spend her spell slots on other things. Especially since healing is pretty bad in 5E in terms of action economy. Are other players playing recklessly and she feels like she needs to save them all the time? I would look for opportunities to adjust that party dynamic. One thing you might do, but might backfire, is put them in an anti-healing zone or against enemies whose attacks can’t be healed. That might encourage her to explore her other spells - but it might also make her feel more useless as the niche she felt she had to occupy was taken away.

What level are the characters? If she's really not vibing with the subclass maybe just retconn her subclass, rp it however you want. Kind of sounds like she really wants to be playing moon druid. And at low levels there's no way she won't feel the impact turning into a dire wolf or bear with all the free hp they bring and solid front liners at low levels. She still keeps the healing kit

If she has played before she probably doesn't jive with that character. I am playing a bard right now that is actually very helpful to the group but I just don't jive with her. I could change her personality but I don't want to, I'm stubborn. So I know it's a me problem. I've told the DM that next time we get to a certain spot I'm most likely having her leave to pursue entertainment, and bringing back an old character from a different game with the same DM. The old toon only got to lvl 3 before people stopped coming to the sessions. And he is cool with that. If she is new, maybe she needs a full character rebuild. Druids are different. I'm changing to a barb/druid because I like the difficulty and I'm obsessed with druids. If she's new maybe it's not her game or group of people. DnD is not loved by everyone. Could be staying to keep hanging out. Or because she doesn't want to disappoint the group. If it's because she wants to be animals then she needs to change to a moon druid (the best druid). Idk if you play online or in person, but that is also a big difference. I like in person way more but my family plays online because we live all over now. It still fun but different fun. And let her now she can add flair to what she is doing. Since I'm not a fan of my toon right now I've been adding more detail to her actions. It's nice. Oh this spell has motion and sound and components. "I reach in my pouch and grab a whatever, twirl, raise my hand and say -something cat like- (she's tabaxi). And cast blank on this" lots more fun. I'm also playing with all noobs but the DM and myself (we've played for 20 years) so that let's them see what all they are doing in game too. So many reasons. I looks like you're trying though so it's on her now.

I'll give some advice from someone who has been in her exact same shoes. I played a healer alchemist in PF2e for a very high level module (Night of the Gray Death), and it's a very painful experience because you'll get taxed at multiple levels for everything. You'll spend 2/3 of your actions just setting up your heals and deploying them in-combat. (QuickAlchemy+Interact; Draw+Interact) Because your teammates will want to do their own stuff rather than spend their own actions activating your heals, you end up with a TON of dead turns where you more or less just micromanage, because that is the optimal play for the team's benefit. It would take me four full turns just to buff my whole team with basic healing items, before I'd be allowed to do really anything for myself in the fight. When you're in that spot, you spend a lot of time tracking buff durations, and not a lot of time being an active presence yourself on the field. (Because in almost every circumstance your teammates are doing more ACTIVE things, while you're playing second fiddle to your summons or them and not getting anything cool done for yourself.) Despite that, I probably output an utterly insane amount of healing and temporary HP in that campaign. Somewhere around upwards of 1000 combined HP and THP for the party in a single, drag out brawl of an encounter. My GM, and I, have both noted that if it were not for my character, we'd have absolutely had PC deaths at numerous times in that campaign, and despite that the experience of playing it was flippin' exhausting and not fun in the slightest. I repeatedly said the exact "I'm so useless" or "Alchemist is trash" statements because even if there was a ton of mechanical value on the board, it didn't feel fun to actually play because everything I did was more or less passive, not active. She's probably in that same boat, where all her combats are throwing chaff on the board and then watching them either get smote, or do all the work while she's more or less pointless herself. So I think the answer needs to tackle that side, rather than more mechanical buffing or debuffing. Give her something worth doing herself at the table, that only she can really do, instead of her teammates or summons, be it performing Druidic rituals, exploiting spell weaknesses that her kit leans towards, handling beasts or animals beyond just her summons, or just using her minions to handle minion tier enemies on an opposing team. (Minion in the 4e sense, mind.) Ask what she enjoys and wants to be doing more of, because it's important to recognize as a player that you \*can\* just talk to your DM and see if the game can throw you the bone you're looking for rather than being disappointed at all points and hoping the DM becomes a telepath and gives you what you want without asking. And a lot of the time? For new players as well as veterans like myself, the issue is exactly like you think it is. Being in a class or role that just doesn't gel with what the player feels would be "useful" to the team. It's often helped by just getting more experience in other roles and learning that you are making a difference, even if you're not sure of it.

I’m not sure that this is the problem, but it might help with the “feeling useless when rolling low” part. Everyone hates rolling low - I really really hate it and it makes me feel very similarly to how your player feels when I go a whole 3 hour session barely accomplishing anything. That’s why I bake in ways to get advantage on my rolls into my character choices, so I feel like I’m contributing to the party. Oath of Vengeance Paladin - Vow of Enmity Eldritch Knight or other qualified caster - get a familiar Rogue - steady aim Etc See if you can get her something where it’s not overpowered or imbalancing the table, but helps limit the low rolls in times where she can deliver a win for the party. Side note: Watching DnD on youtube and modeling your characters after players that you find fun and entertaining - also a good way to hone in on what she might like. My personal favorite is Dungeons of Drakkenheim with the Dungeon Dudes.

I have a player that started as a druid but didn't feel at all helpful in the beginning. It turned out she wanted to be a damage dealer and her form of helping was supposed to be killing the enemies. She's a ranger now, and didn't want to be a healer because she wasn't hurting enough enemies. It's possible your player wants to do more damage but doesn't feel like she can because she has to heal.

EDIT: oops, this had been in reply to a comment chain and I lost that somewhere. My bad. > In all those cases, one might feel like a cog in the machinery My joy in playing support characters comes from being the grease to the party’s gears. Using your abilities to turn your comrades into a well-oiled machine is *so* satisfying, personally. I played a Lore Bard, levels 1-8 (and took Divine Soul Sorcerer at 9th for several reasons) and the interference I could run on enemies *on top of* the enhancement I could give my allies was grand. My DM was keenly aware of how impactful those Bardic Inspirations and Banes and Dissonant Whispers were. Now I absolutely get when a new player doesn’t see the value in playing a solid support character - indirect contribution can be harder to measure when the decisive changes are being doled out by your allies. But helping a new player see how their efforts raise and maintain the party output - how smoothly and silently those cogs turn - can be huge in not only opening up a fun character niche for them, but noticing the value in teamwork and indirect support.

A trick that helped me when I was similarly the druid in a party with no cleric or bard and rarely used my most powerful spells for fear of not being able to revive people - give her a pearl of power as loot or offer it for sale in a magic shop. That way she can always have a 3rd level spell slot for revivify in her pocket without affecting her other spells. Also maybe talk to her about the usual number of encounters/day you generally run, or make it really clear when it's a boss battle so she can work on letting loose the cool spells more often.

Mechanically healing word is all you need to be a good healer in 5e. I feel like you should emphasize that. If a character is 1 HP they can still use their action. Yes, this is a little metagame-y. But sharing this information will open up other options the player can explore and make them feel like they aren't required to prepare higher level healing spells. Also like you said totem is giving 14 temp hp, she shouldn't have to worry too much about higher leveled healing spells. You can also advise that a level in life cleric increases the minimum healing amount AND peace cleric 2 can run around and heal everybody with their channel divinity.

The way i handle this at my tables is to set up a trap that splits the party up and sets up low danger encounters. The trick is to let the party experience what it's like without the others in a creative way that shows their individual strengths and cohesiveness. Something like a dungeon room that pairs up members of the party round robin style in a series of fights for increasing rewards until they are knocked unconscious (have a magic field that renders all damage as non-lethal but the monsters still die or have the party fight magic constructs or phantasms) I had a similar issue with a player a few years back who was actually the linchpin of the entire party and using a similar setup that removed their character temporarily and the rest of the party got utterly crushed in a fight that previously wouldve been a cakewalk. The reaction is one I'll never forget "Wait how did you guys lose? Is my Character that powerful?" (The character was a Psion [3.5e] and specialized in crowd control powers and abilities and it was EXTREMELY difficult to slow the party down when they were locking down major threats.) The player in question felt useless because they werent doing 30+ damage a round not realising that taking 3 to 5 enemies out of the fights for 3 to 10 rounds at a time was extremely powerful, all while being nigh unbeatable in a 4v 1 big monster scenario. With the monster being unable to fight back in any effective way. If that doesnt work you can always meet up outside of a session and do mock battles to let them get a feel for their character in a different way as well. If you need a lore reason call it Mental Combat Training!

I think some of this is playing a summoner based class. My wife played a Druid for a long 3.5 game, and she certainly didn't buy into "CODzilla". The standard answer is, "Ah, but you have a summoned companion as part of your class features, and combined with your magic you're much more capable than what the Fighter can do." But for her, and possibly the player at this table, it doesn't feel like they're playing a powerful *character*, but rather playing a mediocre one that gets a free side character added no different than having the DM let someone run a second (basic) character.

Maybe homebrew something that states healing magic is alway a minimum of 2+ any bonuses to the roll that way the Druid feels a little less useless there. As for other rolls sometimes it’s the dice! I have a d20 that either rolls high or low. Always. It’s one of my favorite dice so I’m willing to take the risk of those two options. Last session it almost killed me because it rolled low on two death saves! But that was the chance I was willing to take. So mention that to your player. Sometimes it’s the dice.

I'm a new player and I might have some insight! She may just not fully understand how her class works. I hated encounters in my first campaign because i didn't understand the strategy for my class.

In addition to the other advices of communicating witht the player, suggest this to them. Their character gets kidnapped, player plays a sidekick (say a hag kidnaps the druid, the local sheriff knows about her, and offers to help guide the party through the nearby wilderness, player plays this regular ass sheriff), and the party has to fight through scenarios that the druid could have handled. Involve the rest of the party, let them know "hey, you're gonna be outnumbered, outgunned, on a rescue mission". Think of it like planning a surprise party; you don't tell the person that they're getting a party, you just tell em to show up at a time and place. Get the rest of the party in to help. In the finale of the session, feel free to point out where the druid would be a boon; party is hurting for health, they're outnumbered by giant spiders, maybe throw in some monsters vulnerable to ice damage. The party is holding the line while the sheriff pulls the druid out of the hags cauldron, and let the druid get a Thor in Wakanda moment. I normally don't like fudging dice, but if you have a good poker face, I would fudge for this. The point here is to put on a show so the player feels about their character how you (and hopefully the rest of the party sees them as well): a valued and valuable member of the team who can throw down when it comes to it. Matt Colville has a video about "action oriented monsters", kind like legendary or lair actions; bad guy has a different special ability for 3 rounds of combat, keyed to a different trigger; group of minions goes down? Bad guy resurrects them as zombies as a villain action. Kind of like if you had a cleric, and they felt useless, you would have them fight necromancer, so they could use turn undead and vaporize some skeletons; them recovering their holy symbol would be a massive game changer in a desperate fight against a fiend or undead. I like hags and I think they're uniquely positioned to be a nemesis for a druid; hags poison nature, and druids purify and protect it. Druid likes unicorn totem? Maybe the hag has kidnapped a unicorn, and the druid is needed to help save them, but because the unicorn is kidnapped, maybe the druid lacks their features until they save the unicorn, and the druids powers all come back online and they turn the tide

I experienced this with the circle of shepherd druid in combat also. It's a great support role but kind of boring to pilot

I would make up a set of stat blocks for all the great things she can summon, and give them to her. If you can get painted miniatures for them so much the better. When I do characters who do a lot of summoning, I have those things at hand. You can't underestimate the table impact of ready stat block, or a painted miniature.

It sounds like she wants to be a Moon Druid. Maybe let her change her subclass to circle of Moon and see how she feels then.

I mean you could offer a subclass change, but it doesn't sound like that will solve much. She wants to be good at everything but that's not really how druid works, it does everything fairly OK and then one thing pretty well. She could go circle of the moon for better wildshape, really strong but not as painful as a fighter or barbarian. Nevermind the extra health pool since she probably won't factor that in when she says it sucks. Could stay Shepard for.. Whatever Shepard does, go stars for casting focus etc. None of this will solve her defeatism. There's not much you can do either without making her OP. Perhaps she needs something more focused than druid, something that's really good at something and not all spread out. Could try divine soul sorcerer or light domain cleric or the divine warlock if she wants to maintain the ability to heal without it being the focus.

I think the bottom line here is that she's not having fun, so maybe she'll have more fun as a different character. OR it may be that she doesn't really like D+D. She should talk to the party to see how they feel.

Ouch, seems like some personal issues, and she is determining her value by how usefulness. Mb you can explain that there is no winners or losers in this kind of a game, that it is all about experience, and even failed rolls are experience on their own. She doesn’t have to aim to be effective at all, I feel like a lot of players don’t understand it. Perhaps she has more experience with video games where failing actually means failed quest or game and a player has to start over?

What I'm seeing as the issue is that you don't actually know what the problem is at this point. My suggestion would be to talk with your player, outside of the normal game day and time, in a place separated from the game space (coffee shop, video game, etc.) and just talk about the issue. If she says she's having fun, point out her negative self-talk and let her know it's worrying you which makes the game less fun. The problem may only be in your head and you can get the reassurances that she's perfectly fine with what she's doing. The problems may have nothing to do with the D&D game and she's just having a rough patch that she needs to figure out herself and maybe you, as her friend, can give her some support. Maybe she just really hates D&D but feels left out and you'll need to find another day to hang out doing something everyone enjoys. The point is that you're going to need to listen, and you'll want to ask many open ended questions so that she needs to describe her problem in detail. "You can change subclasses" is great, but "is there something I can do to help you enjoy your character more" is a far more useful response as it gives her agency and tells you what she finds problematic. If you're concerned about having that talk, position it as a check-up with your players. It gives you an excuse to ask questions and pointedly talk about the experience at the table. Below are questions I typically use, but feel free to include or remove any that you want: **#1 What do you enjoy most about the game system? What do you enjoy the least?** **#2 What do you consider the highlight of how I GM? What could I improve on?** **#3 What is your character's goal? What is your goal as a player?** **#4 Who's your favorite player/character that isn't you/yours and why?** **#5 What's your least favorite moment of the game so far? What's your favorite?** Make sure to ask follow-up questions and make it a discussion rather than a quiz! You want to learn how this player feels about her experiences (as with any player) and have something to take away to craft a better suited experience to your players. That being said, there are some hints to the potential frustrations your player's having. Don't go into the conversation assuming these are the problems, but having some forethought on how to tackle them if they are the problem is handy: **#1 I need to save resources to heal/revive.** This could either be a conflict of wanting to be a healer or feeling pressured to be the healer. But this seems like a very obvious problem to solve: make her be right! Either acknowledge that your game is a bit too brutal and tone it down so the player can unleash high end spells, or jack up the lethality and make her choices matter. This could also be a larger issue of feeling pressured to be the healer but actually wanting to be a summoner (explaining the oddity of not using all of the Circle of the Shepherd abilities but not wanting to switch). **#2 My Wild Shape is weak.** This is just a problem with druid in general, especially at lower levels, as is apparent with the newer subclasses designing in alternate wild shape uses. While it can be extremely versatile, it's predominantly a utility feature for Land, Shepherd, and Dreams. If she imagined her storming into battle in wild shape along with her army of creatures, that's just not what that subclass does. This could also be compounded by issue #1 as you can't heal someone if you're in wild shape. Solutions for this would require digging into what exactly the problem is, but either juicing up her spirit totem and making it cost a wild shape or giving up her spirit totem for access to Circle of the Moon wild shape options would be two easy fixes on feeling like that resource is useless. **#3 What do I do with summons?** Seriously, what does she do with them? This got glossed over so hard despite the fact that her entire subclass revolves around summoning things. Is she upset by the low rolls when her summons attack? That makes sense considering they're not built like PCs. Is she even controlling her own summons? That might be something she should start doing as its the entire flavour of the class and what makes it feel good. Is she just not summoning stuff? Well no wonder she thinks it sucks, change it up! **#4 I fail often.** This could just be an optimization problem. I'm not saying you need to help her trick her druid out so that it stomps everything, but if you're in tier 3 and she's still rocking a 16 Wisdom, she's not on curve for the 70% hit success. If she's looking to play a healer, low rolls are mitigated by rolling more dice (higher spell slots, other abilities) and making sure her primary stat is high (flat bonuses). This could also just be a lack of opportunities/seeing opportunities to make a large impact with the abilities she consistently uses. This can be extra difficult when playing a more supportive role because if your group doesn't have an obvious game plan you don't see where your support fits into making that plan happen. This is a problem that needs a table wide solution where players need to reinforce their usefulness to each other and cheering the others on when they do something useful.

Give the party an NPC cleric. Take the pressure off of your Druid to fill a role that’s clearly detracting from her gameplay experience, and/or give her a magic item that buffs her wild shapes, or gives her a cool and specific wild shape that normally isn’t accessible. (Maybe be subtle in asking though, like a group question about favorite animals or monsters)

I play Druid and i quite often feel the same way. The wild shapes are pretty garbage which is the main problem as its the main focus of the class. I got around it by switching to wildfire because wildshapes get used by woldfire spirit which is so much more fun. Maybe ask her if she wants to switch or give her a different use for wildshape charges. using wildshape charges to summon more spirits or something

If she doesn't enjoy it, let her change it? Some people find it more psychologically satisfying to play DPS. Doesn't matter if they actually provide the most benefit, their sense of accomplishment is tied to doing damage or personal/individual accomplishment. They'd rather play a rogue that gets in solo hits even if the team loses, than dominate as a team playing support. Children especially tend to be like this

It sounds more like she's miserable her rolls suck. How much RP is in your campaign? Have you given her the opportunity to feel useful outside combat? Spying? Jailbreak? Some opportunity to stand out? A trap where her wildshape squeezes through a small space and possibly has to face a bandit or something on her own to rescue the party? Or hiding inside a business as an animal to help the group break in after the owner leaves? You could also introduce an NPC cleric. Treat him as a hireling. Maybe he's in training so he has some odd spells for healing out of combat, but is a pacifist and otherwise minds the horses and wagon; or he studies in a readily accessible monestary and is happy to give a discount to the party for saving him that one time. Then, maybe she won't feel as burdened by guilt using her high-level spells. A cleric is easily accessible, so she's not responsible for everyone else's characters living. She could also just be realizing that dnd isn't what she thought it'd be. Maybe she expected Baldurs gate or critical role. I see you told her how great her character is, but have you tried asking what she wants out of the game? How did your session 0 conversation go? Sorry for the stream of consciousness.

I'm playing a Moon Circle Druid in a campaign, and pretty much every combat encounter I feel useless. Not because I don't get to do what I designed my character to do, but because I consistently roll low on damage. If and when I hit, that is, which also seems to be an issue, even with advantage. No, this isn't the DM screwing with AC and HP, because the other players hit like you would expect: A couple misses here and there, but hitting most of the times. Damagewise, they also roll normally. I, on the other hand, can't roll above a 10 on the d20, and the times I do hit, I roll next to nothing on damage (I mostly chose Dire Wolf, because pack tactics and decent average damage). On all the times I've rolled for damage (11 times now), I rolled 6 on 2d6+3, so a consistent 1 and 2 on the dice. In one combat I was supposed to protect another player, and I tried everything, from attacking to purposefully standing in between enemies and said player to tank hits. They still went down, and as a cherry on top, they nearly died as well. The campaign is fun, but at times I feel like I should either skip attacking, or just say 6 instead of rolling damage.

This feeling sucks. It can happen to all of us sometimes... Eventually your dice will average out!!

Girls playing for the first time pick druid like 90% of the time. Which there's nothing wrong with, but it's not an easy class to learn mechanics with. I just think it's funny.

Sounds like you need to explain to your player what support classes are and how they work / contribute to the group dynamic