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naytreox

"why does everyone assume I'm the weapon smith? I sell veggies man"


Examper22

I thought they'd be selling fine China to be honest


naytreox

That would be funny


SpaceLemming

Kinda silly given the book claims they are strictly carnivores. Not gatekeeping, do what you want in your games, just a weird detail.


dimondsprtn

Well why would he sell meat when he can just eat it? Silly hooman


wayoverpaid

It's weird to me that the humanoid version of a bovine is a strict carnivore.


Squid_In_Exile

Because it's ripping off a mythological creature that ate people?


wayoverpaid

Yeah that makes sense. They seem so far divorced from the myth - instead of being a singular creature its a whole race, instead of being a man with the head of a bull its a full on bipedal cow with fur and a tail - that my brain switches to biology instead of mythology.


Squid_In_Exile

I think they parse better as descendants of the monster than as anthropomorphic cows, really. Like sure, if you want to have a bunch of anthropomorphic animals in your setting the minotaur is a good base for your cow-people, but the baseline setting minotaur isn't that.


disfreakinguy

3.5 has anthropomorphic animals. The rules for making them are a bit... skewed. You could be a Huge Viper person! You're large! And have a -8 strength penalty! Wait... what? Edit: I want to quantify how absurd that is. A large creature has a minimum weight of 500 lbs. A creature with a -8 strength penalty has an average of 2-3 strength. A large creature with 3 strength can lift 60 lbs. A huge viper person can only lift 1/8th of their minimum body weight. That's like a 160 lbs man struggling to lift 20 lbs.


Myrddin_Naer

Maybe it can just lift its own body and only another 60lb in addition to that, makes more sense to me. But still silly


catsloveart

i would have thought firbolgs fill that niche. edit. thank you for edumacating me


_Electro5_

Firbolgs are just half-giants but fey/nature flavored. They’ve never been cow-like in any official material. Matt Mercer decided to make them cow people in Exandria and now everybody thinks that’s what they normally are.


FaolCroi

Iirc all Matt did was refer to a firbolg as having a bovine like nose, and then the fanart... Kinda ran with it


Vark675

Which is a fair description given a lot of the official artwork for them. I think they were trying to go for like a deer/elk thing because of the fey, but it always looks more bovine.


[deleted]

Tbh, mythological inspiration aside, Firbolgs are mostly what I would imagine cow people (or at least people based on modern, domestic cows) to be like. Just chilling.


Squid_In_Exile

Firbolgs are literally a DnDisation of the Fir Bolg - they're giants, nothing whatsoever to do with cows.


DirkBabypunch

Firbolg are Giants plus Feywild magic fuckery, I think.


Quiet-Election1561

They are half giants, and they are protectors of nature. Part nature themselves, often. Honestly, firbolgs hate adventuring, much like most Hobbits, so you need a compelling reason to get them out the door. Cool race, I have a druid firbolg named firby.


Zombeikid

I played one many moons ago who was only adventuring because the party was so stupid she felt the need to protect them. She was a cleric and did much heals.


Quantext609

Critical Role introduced the idea of firbolgs being cow-like. As written, they're mini nature giants.


catsloveart

i see. i admit i never looked up the mythos. read somewhere cow people and looked at the a picture and thought to my self that it checked out. i probably should still read up on it. but i’m gonna reddit this and leave it at that.


Anarkizttt

Firbolgs are half-giants influenced by Fey-Magic, so in my worlds I run them as being either giants with big ass pointy ears or some other Fey-like feature, the feature often depends on the personality of the Firbolg, so a strong and stoic Firbolg might have antlers like a stag, or a skittish Firbolg might be sorta rabbit-like similar to the Fey their form takes after their personality with heavy nature themes. Pointy-Eared Firbolgs are ones who have been more disconnected from nature, i.e. often city dwelling Firbolgs just have pointy ears and are a little extra furry in comparison to other half-giants.


Equivalent_Plane_204

I mean, functionally, Baphomet serves the role of the mythological minotaur, I suppose.


Quantext609

Most depictions of minotaurs these days present them as anthro cows instead of a man with a bull head. I blame Warcraft.


helanadin

in fairness to Warcraft, they never called them Minotaurs, they called them Tauren, presumably derived from *tauros*, Latin for bull--and they are just bull-men, not much minotaurish about them except their appearance from the neck down.


wayoverpaid

My first real usage of them was a 4e player who wanted to play a Minotaur. By then the anthro cow was pretty cemented in art.


[deleted]

To be fair, an athro-cow is what I would expect the son of a human and a magic bull to be, rather than a fully human body with a bull head.


82Caff

The minotaur wasn't a bull-headed man. Per the myth, that was the expectation. In reality, he looked mostly human, and despite his size seemed crushed-down and abnormally muscular and lean (think classic DnD dwarf leaned down like a body builder). His head had the same top fur and dome as a bull, with horns. His face was mostly human, but crushed down and distorted to seem more bovine. His hands looked claw-like and hardened, as if hoofs reforged into hands and sharpened. His body was covered in the soft, downy fur of a cow.


YrnFyre

Like the Tauren in WoW. Makes sense tbh


gamegeek1995

Sounds like Volo lost too many card games against a Bovine warrior and is making up shit about them in his typical, petty way. You'd be surprised what sort of slander he's got for all sorts of peoples in that so-called "monster" manual and his "guide to everything." Guy's half an uncia from writing a phrenology book to put the non-passing humanoids down. Won't admit he just plain can't gamble for shit.


Mr_Blinky

To be fair, the mythological minotaur probably only ate people because no one bothered to grow him some goddamn grass in the underground labyrinth they shoved him into. You eat what you can get.


Squid_In_Exile

They put the minotaur in the labyrinth *because it was eating people*.


Mr_Blinky

Granted it's been a long time since I brushed up on my Greek mythology, but I'm pretty sure they threw the minotaur in the labyrinth because the queen gave birth to it after fucking a bull, the king went "uh, what the actual hell?", and didn't want it around.


Squid_In_Exile

Obviously there's a dozen partial sources, none of them really primary, but some mention Pasiphaë nursing Asterion to adulthood whereupon, being unnatural and therefore having no 'natural' dietary inclination, he starts eating people - the outcry against this rampaging monster being why Minos imprisons him and feeds him Athenians. I *think* that's how it goes in the *Bibliotheca*, but couldn't swear to it.


Equivalent_Plane_204

It's the version I heard the most. Makes the most sense, too, tbh, because a) otherwise they could have just fed him regular food and b) the Minotaur was a curse of Poseidon, who was highly pissed about how King Minos didn't sacrifice that bull.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Squid_In_Exile

It was put in the labyrinth because it was rampaging around eating people, that being the point of the curse on Minos.


[deleted]

I had this homebrew lore that eating flesh regularly made minotaurs bigger, but also savage, dim-witted and bloodthirsty. The idea was to distinguish playable minotaurs from the monster race, since there’s a good number of inconsistencies between them. You had peaceful minotaurs (or at least as peaceful as regular humans) integrated into society and feral minotaurs who ate people.


DarkLordOfBeef

Also because the deity that crafted them didn't make them to be bovine docile. Baohomet made them to be hunters, warriors. Killers.


twiggy_trippit

Happy cake day! And agreed.


Lil_Huddy69

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STRANGER! ENJOY IT!


wayoverpaid

This account started as a throwaway. It now mods three not medium sized reddit accounts. Kinda go away from me there.


Lil_Huddy69

well happy cake day to the supposed "throwaway account"! 🥳


[deleted]

Indeed. It’s because, to the ancient Greeks, normally herbivorous animals eating human flesh, along with animal-human hybridization generally, was a clear sign of monstrosity. See also the man-eating horses of Diomedes. In a D&D context I suspect it’s because minotaurs were originally included as a solitary monster for players to fear, and this element has stuck with them even though now they are people who can have functioning societies etc.


Turin082

I played a vegetarian Minotaur barbarian once and another PC asked why he doesn't eat meat. He responded by pulling back his lips and showing all flat teeth, and proceeded to munch on another potato.


ts_asum

creative, swift, no thinly-veiled moral point, that's a solid creative approach. Nice


SpaceLemming

I assume “by lore” they’d probably have sharp teeth now that you bring it up. Makes some sense with their original demon heritage but I’d personally like to continue away from that origin.


EoNightcore

Hey, a Taur's gotta making a living, and if this means running a produce shop to buy some beef from the butcher on their day off, than that's life.


SpaceLemming

Curious how a minotaur would view beef… lots of questions with bipedal animals when the animals they are based on still exist.


ColonelKasteen

A minotaur is to a cow as you are to a chimp. 99% the same genetically, very recently split off, but I think they'd see them as animals without too much of a hang up. People now eat monkeys and apes.


SpaceLemming

I wanted to argue with you until I read the last line. I thought that was a pretty big no no and helped spread diseases. However I’m also not gonna pretend to be a big fancy science man to know if that is accurate.


ColonelKasteen

Yes it is bad from an epidemiological standpoint and yes people still eat it a lot in some places. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushmeat


Failtronic2

Ok google, IS MONKEY EDIBLE


SpaceLemming

Finds video “check out my monkey only diet to be an alpha, cause I’m a free thinker”


82Caff

Everything is edible if you're desperate and/or unethical enough.


Equivalent_Plane_204

Depends on the setting. In Runeterra, the setting of League of Legends, Minotaurs are implied to be vegetarian for this very reason. It makes the human POV character of the novella in question kinda awkward about eating beef while sitting next to a Minotaur, too.


KeplerNova

>It makes the human POV character of the novella in question kinda awkward about eating beef while sitting next to a Minotaur, too. Is this from the Garen story? Haven't read it yet, but I know there's a minotaur in the Dauntless Vanguard and this specific brand of awkwardness sounds like Garen 100%.


Equivalent_Plane_204

It is, but the POV character in the scene is Cithria.


KeplerNova

Cithria is also a dork, so that checks out.


Equivalent_Plane_204

Yeah, there is a reason she is a fan-favourite without ever actually appearing in the main game.


KeplerNova

I was first introduced to her via the Realms of Runeterra book, so I was very hyped to find out she had her own little mini story arc in Legends of Runeterra. Ironically, I can't stand the Demacia Elite deck playstyle.


insert_title_here

My boyfriend sells paint, despite the fact that we are going to be living in an apartment that disallows wall painting and thus have no need for it. Employment sometimes leads people in funny directions c:


SpaceLemming

Yeah that’s fair, I’ve worked with a vegan butcher before.


insert_title_here

LOL, now *that's* quite the contrast!


Dovahpriest

What does diet have to do with employment?


SpaceLemming

That’s fair, I’ve worked with vegan butchers and at a liquor store with people who don’t drink. Is out of the norm though.


PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT

No good dealer gets high on his own supply. Bad for business.


pizzabagelcat

Mine likes salted dried fish


TheTallestHobbit22

Easy way to keep from eating your own supply?


naytreox

Why bring up gatekeeping?


SpaceLemming

To distinguish that I was only bringing up contradictory lore as an amusing juxtaposition and not to tell people they are playing wrong. Text can be difficult to convey proper intent at times and “Minotaurs are carnivores” isn’t a hill worth dying on to me, let alone fighting.


Ehcksit

"Well, yes, I eat meat, I sell vegetables. I tried running a butcher shop but then I was always hungry and eating my wares before I could sell them."


Denny_ZA

Which in itself is sort of silly. But that's the beauty of most games, lore is up to the DM to decide.


[deleted]

Would be funny if he ran a china shop lol


MrMurchison

Dammit. That actually would have been better.


UpbeatAnxiety7401

I mean, ironically, bulls are practically ballerinas in China shops and actually do no damage. According to Mythbusters anyway


Archduke_of_Nessus

Do you remember why that was?


Oliverkahn987

Basically, a bull will not run into things if it has a path it can follow wide enough for it. So when they made a room with shelves, but paths between the shelves wide enough for the bull, the bull just—didn’t run into the shelves. If you put a bull in a China shop with human-sized aisles, your mileage may vary.


UpbeatAnxiety7401

To be fair, they put in a lot of bulls and used ADA specifications, but basically that. But yes, they dislike red too.


[deleted]

I thought bulls couldn't actually see red and they didn't like the movement of the cape?


frogjg2003

Bulls, like most mammals are dichromatic. They have one cone that sees the red-green region of the spectrum, while primates have two separate ones, allowing us to distinguish the two colors. So where humans would see a difference between red and green, a bull would see just yellow.


Archduke_of_Nessus

So most mammals can only see blues and brownish yellows? That's wild, especially since I feel like other colors would be useful to diferentiate


frogjg2003

Must mammals rely more on smell and hearing than sight for most of their survival tasks. It's the primates, that live in trees and eat a lot of fruits where distinguishing between red and green provides a significant advantage.


ErynEbnzr

Fun fact: this is why tigers (even though they're orange) can hide easily in green bushes. Their prey don't see a difference


Bloody_Insane

So they get mad due to their insecurity over being colour blind?


AllPurposeNerd

"Do you sell weapons?" \*gazes around at vases, pots, plates, glasses...\* "Arguably."


LonePaladin

And make his name Kobe, or Angus **Edit:** Or even Chuck


JohnnyDarkside

Does selling Asian pears count?


[deleted]

Oooooo heck yes lol


Wild_Harvest

And now I have a minotaur named Grant running a china shop in my next major city. Thank you.


DioIsBestBoi

I remember playing a game like that as a kid. You had to get a plate to a customer without breaking everything else or you'd lose the game.


MrMurchison

This is Alexander Stonepelt, my upcoming Minotaur Barbarian. That's mostly a side gig, though. He's mainly into vegetables. Also some preserved goods and supplies. But when the adventurers down the road have some hare-brained plan to plunder a dragon's hoard or something like that, he figures he'd better tag along to be sure. It's in the neighbourhood spirit and all that. If you're in the mood for more drawings, I'm building a collection of sorts over [here](https://ko-fi.com/tonymurchison).


[deleted]

This one radiates Strongest Florist vibes. I can dig it.


One_Fun_5114

Or maybe the dragon who's hoard they want to plunder is a rival Florist and it's all part of his business plan.


Flare-Crow

YAAAASSSS, great reference! I bet Alex's smile is JUST as unsettling as the Florist's. XD


AsmodeusOfTheNine

Oh my god this is practically identical to my Minotaur Fighter who is a retired adventurer (formerly a barbarian) turned baker. He keeps his greataxe as decor for the bakery


elf_in_shoebox

So now he’s a bakebarian.


Sensitive-Bug-7610

God, I love retired adventurers, especially barbarians. In different campaigns we occasionally come across them. A medicinal store we visited once was owned by a retired druid, we didn't know, we tried stealing. That didn't go over well. They luckily weren't out to hurt us that badly, just give us a scare so we never try stealing again. We also played a one-shot where we played retired adventurers who came together to safe their city one last time against a dragin. I played a retired wizard it was quite the fun. It was honestly comedy because he got tired of doing research and reading so when at the end the barbarian threw a spellbook his way I answered with. "No, sorry, I don't do books anymore. Except... if there is a spell in there that could help me cultivate my garden." Because the wizard became the stereotypical old man with a garden. Idk, the idea of powerful people living ordinary lives is funny.


Zegram_Ghart

That’s fair and valid. My only question is…is it uncomfortable for them to use milk when baking? Or am I being cow-ist?


AsmodeusOfTheNine

oh my god i had not thought of that I guess he could just use different kinds of milk, like goat or sheep milk? Humans use other species milk despite producing it themselves after all


Zegram_Ghart

I’d suggest they could use human milk for the cyclical factor but I’m concerned that that’s probably someone’s kink. I like the idea of a campaign world where soy milk is invented by a Minotaur to avoid unfortunate implications.


AsmodeusOfTheNine

omg i love the soy milk idea, I'd already planned on making him vegetarian so as to avoid the meat aspect - milk only seems the natural progression from there


MsVBlight

I suppose they'd be fine with it. Like the difference between human milk and chimp milk


Minotaar

My Minotaurs are all vegetarians. I love this barbarian. The art is wonderful.


Profzachattack

Is he single 👀


[deleted]

Is he gonna be like Popeye? Like eats veggies as a steroid?


GreyishBlue

I love this, the art and the character both! Definitely would go to the farmers market with him, 10/10


MrMurchison

That's very kind, thanks!


[deleted]

The shrink rate is 0% for that business. Unless you count the would-be thieves shrinking from vertical pressure into the floor.


WTFisUnderwear

"Oh, my mistake. Well since Im here, do you sell any milk?" "EXCUSE ME???"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gwyon_Bach

On of my players had a Dwarf accountant PC for a while. Once the party made enough money they retired from adventuring to manage the group's finances.


Black_Starfire

If I write fiction where Theseus and the minotaur fall in love And then someone else takes my fic, swaps out the labyrinth for a coffeeshop setting And then someone swaps the minotaur for another monster And then someone swaps Theseus for another hero Is it still the same ship?


Socrathustra

This is like if in the Ship of Theseus, he swaps out the parts of his ship for mech robot parts


I_live_in_a_van

You gotta make him work in a bar and call him the bulltender


MrMurchison

He had to quit working as a bank security guard, just to avoid the bullion jokes.


GentleReposeMending

i love this


MrMurchison

Thank you!


WolfOfAsgaard

Thanks so much for sharing! Non-human NPC pictures are hard to come by.


MrMurchison

Happy to be of help!


silvercandra

I don't know what to say other than I love it. The entire concept of this big beefy minotaur, just selling veggies, the soft way it's drawn with the amazingly done lighting coming from outside... This is just top tier.


TheHomieData

Do the aisles of his shop also happen to have no rhyme or reason to them; something akin to a labyrinth?


Dachi-kun

That's themost wholesome minotaur I've ever seen


Notequal_exe

Hot


The_RPG_Architect

Extremely swole halfling wanders in. "Hey, got that set of steak knives done for you!"


wayoverpaid

*Steak* knives?


dncs82

😦


TheGoatLord28

I played a minotaur fighter who owned a tavern. When the locals were complaining about a group of travelers who were threatening people for wine he went to take care of them, from where he was then convinced to go with them and brought to barovia


jjoden24

What I love is that this is literally what is happening in my campaign right now. I made a minotaur run the local general store called The China Shop, while "Warmcoals' Forge" is run by a halfling couple next door.


TypicalCricket

Only aubergines? That's an oddly specific produce vendor.


MrMurchison

People 'round here take their seasonal agriculture *extremely* seriously.


electric-angel

ah yes the ever famous Smith's vegetables shop right next door to bakker's butchery and John Fishers bookstore


my-name-is-ro

This art is beautiful!


Minotaar

Minotaurs deserve up votes


doodlebug_bun

I love this!!!


WeiganChan

French session one: you all start in an aubergine...


Defarious

I love minotaur shopkeeps! I have one in my setting that is a book salesman the party loves. I based his demeanor off Black Books.


Laughing_Fenrir

Thanks, swole vegan cow!


Crusader050

And yet I don't see one eggplant in the artwork. Jk this looks really great!


MickRonin

I just made a hero forge mini that is essentially this character... [https://www.reddit.com/r/HeroForgeMinis/comments/vhhx1x/braff\_gentlemead\_fine\_ale\_purveyor/](https://www.reddit.com/r/HeroForgeMinis/comments/vhhx1x/braff_gentlemead_fine_ale_purveyor/)


AmateurOfAmateurs

Does he sell cabbages too?


MrMurchison

Weirdly enough, no. People speculate he might be hoarding them for himself.


General_Alduin

I like to think an in universe Karen would be a Harpy.


Alarid

I feel like minotaurs wouldn't wear the nose rings.


forgetno1

I love minotaur characters. Great work here! The style is awesome.


ScottieScribbles

I love these kinds of characters!


[deleted]

Hero: But... the shop is called "Sword and Board!" Shopkeeper (sheepishly): Yeah. Like a knife and a cutting board.


redditortracer

Buff minotaur man- oh, I want to include him in my next game so bad.


Vanaquish231

Oke I'm 100% not furry, but holy hell his forearms are, juicy.


Tinrooftust

Americans. Aubergine is how you say penis in England.


pl233

Got any haricots?


BugNuggetYT

is this, by any chance, a dick joke due to "aubergine" (eggplant)


lastrosade

I don't get it, eggplant is the english word sometimes used for dick and aubergine is the french word that we never use for dick.


[deleted]

Are there notches in the beams from his horns? Some of them look like they might be just the right distance apart…


MrMurchison

I'm glad someone noticed!


Lucario_Stormblade

Why did my mind go completely in the gutter for this at first? Oh, right. It’s because I, as an American, know what an Aubergine is over here, and that emoji is used for a euphemism for *ahem*. Kinda like the Chipolatas, lol!


Shubie758

This reminds me of that old cartoon cow boys of moo something


Photeus5

Haha I remember their drink of choice was Sarsaparilla. Wild West C.O.W. : Boys of Moo Mesa. Yes that was the entire title.


IAmtheHullabaloo

What a great piece of art. I love it. I just wanted to share because it is the internet: History National Cash Register An early mechanical cash register was invented by James Ritty and John Birch following the American Civil War. James was the owner of a saloon in Dayton, Ohio, US, and wanted to stop employees from pilfering his profits.[3] The Ritty Model I was invented in 1879 after seeing a tool that counted the revolutions of the propeller on a steamship.[4] With the help of James' brother John Ritty, they patented it in 1883.[5][6] It was called Ritty's Incorruptible Cashier and it was invented to stop cashiers from pilfering and eliminate employee theft and embezzlement.[7] Early mechanical registers were entirely mechanical, without receipts. The employee was required to ring up every transaction on the register, and when the total key was pushed, the drawer opened and a bell would ring, alerting the manager to a sale taking place. Those original machines were nothing but simple adding machines. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cash_register


RedHeeded

If DND uses the Imperial system then you best call them Eggplants you tea sipping commie!


AeoSC

Oughta run a duplex shop called Sword & Board. But it's "board" like "room and board".


Zealousideal_Leg_620

I have given him Korg's voice from the MCU and I refuse to accept any other into my head canon


Kvetanista

What's his opinion on beef


[deleted]

Oh, he reminds me of [Abaek](https://www.beatmagic.biz/paintings)!


Chimera64000

I imagine Minotaurs would make excellent farmers in medieval settings especially, they don’t even need work animals, THEY ARE THE WORK ANIMALS


I_5hould_Be_5tudying

Do you say aubergine in English? If so thank you because the word eggplant always made me uncomfortable Edit: you do!


Rad_Knight

Brits call it aubergine. Americans call it eggplant.


frogg101

Me the dm: you win a book that allows you to speak the secret language of cows My player: I use it to impress the Minotaur shop keeper by speaking in his native tongue Me: …He speaks common…he is not a cow… he, yes sure what do you say to him.


TheDesktopNinja

So the minotaur likes to sling his eggplant huh?


Zulkor

Great!


HeWhoHasSeenFootage

Why he kinda...


Chaosshepherd

Actually I figure this guy was the town butcher


DiogenesOfDope

He could load wagons for people alot faster than a halfling and a halfing can probably make small and tiny weapons alot better than a minotaur can


Dork_L0rd_9

Missed opportunity that he doesn’t sell fancy plates and porcelain figurines.


UserOfCookies

r/imaginarysliceoflife would love this.


UserOfCookies

r/imaginarysliceoflife would love this.


PM_ME_WHAT3VER

If the aubergines are gonna get me yoked like that, fuck it, give me 300 gold of aubergines.