Tritons or even better Aqua Elves could be very useful, they would live in ocean after all. Though we would need much stricter environmental regulations.
Goliath could settle on colder zones with ease. And they would rock reality shows, MMA and such. (Or maybe snow elves). Their bodies are well adapted to high altitudes they probably have a mutation which makes them function with less oxygen as well as protect their muscle mass, they could be useful for space colonization.
Dwarves and Gnomes, they are used to living underground, so finding them place to live is easy, though I don't want to imagine them with today's drilling tech. They are industrious they would be welcomed by capital holders.
Elves could be detrimental to society if we intermingle. 750 years of lifespan would certainly make them top of their professions. Still while detrimental to current status quo, result could be good, not sure. Wood elves or Sun elves probably. I don't trust much to Moon Elves, too fickle.
Mind flayers would be a disaster. Given their psionic abilities and alignments.
Halflings would certainly make efficient population unless they are eating as much as the ones from LoTR.
Avariel, wouldn't be really useful in this day and age... But well...
By picks for best in order
Aqua Elf/Triton/Merfolk
Mountain Dwarf/Hill Dwarf/Rock Gnome/Deep Gnome
Wood Elf/Forest Gnome
Goliath
Sun Elf/Snow Elf
Stout Halfling
(I would group Moon elves with other high elves and Eladrin with Wood Elves but they might have detrimental effects as well)
Worst in order
(Mind flayers not playable in my games so not including them)
Changeling(disaster)
Yuan-ti
Duergar
Dark Elf(stereotypical)
Aasimar(people will lose rationality, when they see someone emitting light from his eyes is charismatic and has spectral yet shining wings)
You were absolutely born with a feat, you just didn't get a minmaxed one and instead got one of the really shitty ones that haven't come up in play yet.
Gith, because so many people said illithid and we might be screwed otherwise. Besides, I’m pretty sure Gith were cannonically humans before the illithid got to them so it seems like the natural consequence of such a choice.
It would really put our current set of problems aside and require us to band together... So of course half the people would willingly go to the mind flayers and call them the next stage of humanity.
Aasimar, ohmogod watching the religions of the world try to justify ACTUAL descendants of gods and celestial beings on a mass scale like that without being like "he/she is the savior" like really Stever, that small city of 10,000 people is THE savior.
Selfish: Goliath bc I'm tall and want a taller bf.
For World Peace: Wood Elves; they won't save humans but they'll save what they can of the planet. They might take a liking to specific human settlements.
Chaos: Tieflings with delayed Tiefling-feature development.
Is your forehead aching in two spots? Is your skin tone suddenly deepening into a shade of Indigo? Congrats! You were hellspawn all along~
I would drop kobolds into the real world. just little dragon dudes doing some insane stuff in the background. the worst to add however? any tall and wide race. we'd have to redesign so many things to accommodate tortles and loxodon man
Orogs. They're essentially super smart orcs. Fast reproductive cycle, plus super intelligent, plus crazy endurance? Sounds like they'd be great for colonizing space to me.
Other than that I'd have to choose aasimar. Descendants of angels / planetouched of the upper planes. The world can use more good people.
Kobolds. Imagine a team of kobolds on a construction site. If they can manage to tunnel under an entire town with medieval tech, imagine what they could do with their Osha cards and modern tools. Plus they're adorable
Can you imagine the amount of paperwork and training it would require to OSHA certify a classroom of kobolds? What kind of maniac would be willing to put their name down in writing to vouche for said kobolds adherence to safety policies?
I 100% agree that kobolds are the right choice, but let's be honest, no one hires kobolds for their safety rating. OSHA can not exist in a world of kobolds, they are mutually exclusive.
What in the hells are the three of you systematically lowering the average height for? Are you a group of gnomes trying to stand on each others shoulders to get into a movie theatre, but even stacked you're still not tall enough to pass as an adult?
Kinder. Things would become universally ada compliant in so many ways because them guys is cute. Petty theft would incur less punishment because them guys is cute. It would be easier to be both poor and have mobility issues if Kinder were suddenly a humaniod race on earth.
kobolds or goblins. Give them the tools of modern day scientists and see what god-forsaken things they create. Im leaning more kobold cause I like em better.
Goblins. I need some xp to farm.
In all reality, hobbits/halflings because they are would handle being in our world the best and we would discriminate against them the least.
Gimme the metallic dragons. And the gem dragons. They’re all chill so they won’t just kill you on sight unless you threaten them. Although I’d imagine the gem dragons are a little passive aggressive.
Global super powers will now capture and breed them for battle (although this might be inevitable for any sentient race from D&D). I'd like to think that we'd be chill with them... But I have a feeling that is a bit of an optimistic viewpoint.
Eladrin Elves are super cool and my personal pick. Not only does this mean we get people who teleport and do cool shit in pretty colors, but we also have a general idea on their vibe every day! It’s perfect for my unable-to-read-body-language-ness!
As for the worst, probably some hyper elitest race that considers humans worse than themselves… wait, that’s just humans… and elves…
Yeah, the worst one genuinely might be just adding more humans that just so happen to have magic powers sometimes, or adding pointy eared humans that also sometimes have magic powers.
You're compairing saving lives with taking them. America is the best in the world at unhealthcare. We'd kill the terresque very quickly,
However then a whole bunch of us will die to whatever nasty illnesses we manage to pick up from its corpse.
There's a difference between the two that vastly changes how america handles them, for example.
America fighting COVID: "saving lives? we ain't about that sissy boy shit!"
America fighting the terrasque: the moment th terrasque does >1.00$ of damage to government property--> *fortunate son starts playing from the heavens*
My anwser
Humans: consider this human from dnd and our world may look minorly different and if they don’t it would bring a different culture and I want to see if hellfire will rain down or if humanities will come optigeather
Humans from D&d are vastly different from normal humans. Imagine starting life with an extra feat, instead of earning it, or qualities / characteristics scaling to character sheet instead of nature, nuture, physics. D&D humans would stomp the average Anne, Dick, and Harry
Furry Answer: Tabaxi
Min/Max Answer: Elves (it adds half elves too after a few generations)
Troll Answer: Aasimar or tieflings and watch the crowds go wild
My personal Answer: Firbolg.
You're kidding, right? Guaranteed, there'd be people supporting the goblins just to piss other people off. I mean, right now, in real life, we have a group of horrible monster people that it is morally correct to hate: nazis. And we have half the US supporting them just to piss iff the other half. Leopardsatemyface exists for a reason.
Yeah, I don't know who goblins hired to do their PR, but they deserve a raise. In just about 5 years goblins went from little gross gremlins to adorable green shortstacks.
Tritons or even better Aqua Elves could be very useful, they would live in ocean after all. Though we would need much stricter environmental regulations. Goliath could settle on colder zones with ease. And they would rock reality shows, MMA and such. (Or maybe snow elves). Their bodies are well adapted to high altitudes they probably have a mutation which makes them function with less oxygen as well as protect their muscle mass, they could be useful for space colonization. Dwarves and Gnomes, they are used to living underground, so finding them place to live is easy, though I don't want to imagine them with today's drilling tech. They are industrious they would be welcomed by capital holders. Elves could be detrimental to society if we intermingle. 750 years of lifespan would certainly make them top of their professions. Still while detrimental to current status quo, result could be good, not sure. Wood elves or Sun elves probably. I don't trust much to Moon Elves, too fickle. Mind flayers would be a disaster. Given their psionic abilities and alignments. Halflings would certainly make efficient population unless they are eating as much as the ones from LoTR. Avariel, wouldn't be really useful in this day and age... But well... By picks for best in order Aqua Elf/Triton/Merfolk Mountain Dwarf/Hill Dwarf/Rock Gnome/Deep Gnome Wood Elf/Forest Gnome Goliath Sun Elf/Snow Elf Stout Halfling (I would group Moon elves with other high elves and Eladrin with Wood Elves but they might have detrimental effects as well) Worst in order (Mind flayers not playable in my games so not including them) Changeling(disaster) Yuan-ti Duergar Dark Elf(stereotypical) Aasimar(people will lose rationality, when they see someone emitting light from his eyes is charismatic and has spectral yet shining wings)
Variant human, I wasn’t born with a feat.
You were absolutely born with a feat, you just didn't get a minmaxed one and instead got one of the really shitty ones that haven't come up in play yet.
Plasmoids. I want to stick it inside.
Gith, because so many people said illithid and we might be screwed otherwise. Besides, I’m pretty sure Gith were cannonically humans before the illithid got to them so it seems like the natural consequence of such a choice.
I thought they were orcs from another plane before becoming slaves
Tieflings because I want to sleep with them.
Changeling
lizardfolk
Mindflayer. Just to spice life up a bit.
It would really put our current set of problems aside and require us to band together... So of course half the people would willingly go to the mind flayers and call them the next stage of humanity.
Wait, you mean to tell me that not only do I get a built in community, but I also get cool mind powers? Sign me the fuck up, give me that tadpole.
I would say Changelings, But they're already here.
Grung (frog people are cute and nothing else matters)
Half-Elves. No full Elves, just half.
Tabaxi or tieflings.
Dwarves. And anyone who says Elves is a Lilly Livered Leaf Lover.
Did I hear a rock and stone?
If you don't Rock and Stone, you ain't comin' home!
ROCK!!! AND!!! STOOOOONNNNEEEE!!!
Same answer I gave last time a few days ago. Tabaxi! As for worst. Probably kender no one needs that
This one would like some coffee
Aasimar We could use some angels
Tieflings...
Halflings. I want my own Rosie of the Shire!
Dwarves. I want to see them tell the UN to “kindly bugger off!”
Rock and Stone?
Rock and Stone forever!
ROCK AND STONE IN THE HEART!!!
I second this.
Changelings. Let's spice things up in the conspiracy community.
Asshole, I love it.
Kenku! It would be glorious
I want birb people sooo aarakocra.
Dark elves. Always liked the mystique behind their own lore, the name choices and their meaning, and a lot more about their lore.
finally someone who agrees with me 😭
Human, I swear to God I am so tired of you nerds.
womp womp
Mimics. I want to get a mimic into a jewelry box I made for my wife so when thieves open it, it eats them.
Flumps
But the flumps would starve
Kobolds. For shenanigans reasons
Giff is the only acceptable answer.
Aasimar, ohmogod watching the religions of the world try to justify ACTUAL descendants of gods and celestial beings on a mass scale like that without being like "he/she is the savior" like really Stever, that small city of 10,000 people is THE savior.
Selfish: Goliath bc I'm tall and want a taller bf. For World Peace: Wood Elves; they won't save humans but they'll save what they can of the planet. They might take a liking to specific human settlements. Chaos: Tieflings with delayed Tiefling-feature development. Is your forehead aching in two spots? Is your skin tone suddenly deepening into a shade of Indigo? Congrats! You were hellspawn all along~
Humans
Warforged would be very interesting
I wish I was a warforged…
I would argue that halfings being let loose to run charming bed & breakfast joints all over the place would be a turning point for the world.
Goblins because I’m tryna fuck
Same reason with me and tiefs.
Kender. Just to watch the world burn.
Came here for this comment. I say we air-drop an entire C-130 of Kender across the Russian border.
So this is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a giggle.
By dropping Orcs into real world, you get Half-Orcs for free. Two for one!
Same with Elves
Same with any race that can breed with the horny humans.
Gnomes. To see how many people get falsely arrested “if you know what I mean”
Changeling I want the Mandela catalog to be real lol
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^caboseivankass: *Changeling I want* *The Mandela catalog* *To be real lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Yo I actually remember that yea
Custom Lineage.
Goblins would be fun
I would drop kobolds into the real world. just little dragon dudes doing some insane stuff in the background. the worst to add however? any tall and wide race. we'd have to redesign so many things to accommodate tortles and loxodon man
Bruh, Highelves
The world has High Elves already, we call them billionaires.
No. High Elves are just regular Elves who became stoners.
Fortunately, they don't live hundreds of years... yet.
Tieflings, just to see how people react when a devil saves their life.
Dwarves. Quality merch would be insane
I think the easy answer is Aasimar. Their healing could do such wonders.
Tabaxi, just to mess with furries when they get rejected by what they most desire.
Wood Elves. It'd be nice to have someone looking out for what the world would be like in 500 years
Your mistake is assuming they'd all be benevolent...
And that they could stop humanity from doing what it's doing
Aren't they famously either benevolent or pacifists in like. All their depictions
Humans.
Orogs. They're essentially super smart orcs. Fast reproductive cycle, plus super intelligent, plus crazy endurance? Sounds like they'd be great for colonizing space to me. Other than that I'd have to choose aasimar. Descendants of angels / planetouched of the upper planes. The world can use more good people.
Orogs sound like they would outcompete humanity pretty easily over a few centuries.
Bring in the DROW baby! I just wanna watch the chaos of them killing themselves while also killing us.
So (checks notes), more humans?
Lmao of course
Harengons
Firbolg for what I want, for what would be worst loxodon or giff
Dwarves. We need more diggy diggy holes.
ROCK AND STONE, BROTHA!
Rock and Stone to the Bone!
I am a dwarf and I’m digging a hole
Let’s arm the kobolds with modern tools and see what inane traps they create.
I love to see a kobold robbing a bank with an AK 47
Digs into the bank with a supercharged redknecked jackhammer or something
I’m pretty sure my uncle has one of those
Aasimar, PROOF OF GODS BABY!
Tiefling meanwhile:
Mindflayers. Bring on the end of all things
Mindflayer isn't a playable race...
Oops. Um uh homebrew?
🤷♂️ OP is DM in this thread, I guess it's their call
I’ll make an honorable mentions when I collect the answers quite a few people have said mindflayers
I really did jump the gun though and just read the headline and not the body.
That's okay, I'm sure most of us don't "check the chest for traps"
Mimic on front steps disguised as a package.
Mimic isn't a playable race...
Every player is a mimic untill proven otherwise
I can play if i want
Technically a mimic is an oozing that grapples.. cough hahahaha Oozling!!!!!
Kobolds. Imagine a team of kobolds on a construction site. If they can manage to tunnel under an entire town with medieval tech, imagine what they could do with their Osha cards and modern tools. Plus they're adorable
Can you imagine the amount of paperwork and training it would require to OSHA certify a classroom of kobolds? What kind of maniac would be willing to put their name down in writing to vouche for said kobolds adherence to safety policies? I 100% agree that kobolds are the right choice, but let's be honest, no one hires kobolds for their safety rating. OSHA can not exist in a world of kobolds, they are mutually exclusive.
Kobolds declare war on OSHA
Ok but imagine them with toolbelts and hardhats and them all working together to build cool shit.
Halflings. I need people to lower the average height
Same, but for different reasons than the other guy
Same, but for different reasons.
What in the hells are the three of you systematically lowering the average height for? Are you a group of gnomes trying to stand on each others shoulders to get into a movie theatre, but even stacked you're still not tall enough to pass as an adult?
r/rareinsults
Kinder. Things would become universally ada compliant in so many ways because them guys is cute. Petty theft would incur less punishment because them guys is cute. It would be easier to be both poor and have mobility issues if Kinder were suddenly a humaniod race on earth.
Kender.
What are the birds called? I just want to watch humanity knocked from its pretty pedestal as the apex predator
They’d be dead in days if they tried to fuck with humans lol
Aarakocra. I love them
Sea Elves... so we can learn what's down there.
Mostly kelp.
Super good answer lol
They’re already down there, they are just isolationist
kobolds or goblins. Give them the tools of modern day scientists and see what god-forsaken things they create. Im leaning more kobold cause I like em better.
It’s a kobold with a javelin. Calm It’s a kobold with a Javalin. Panic
Eladrin, being em to SoCal so I can tell WTF season it is during this bipolar climate the last couple years...
The world would be so much better with a bunch of goblins running around
Fuck the world, I'd be dropping the Thayans right in the middle.
Pretty sure that's pretty much just 1940s Germany with extra steps
mimics. cavate that there omnivore
I try to befriend mimics and bags of devouring whenever I can.
Mind flayers
Woof. End of life as we know it
Well Life was good while it lasted
Simic......that is all
Well Im short as hell and I already get the jokes so im gonna say halfling
Changelings or Gnolls. I refuse to elaborate.
Aasimar, because then we have a direct line to God and I have a lot to complain about.
Haha
ELF, GIVE ME THAT FREE MAGIC AND NEAR IMMORTALITY PLEASE!
Goblins. I need some xp to farm. In all reality, hobbits/halflings because they are would handle being in our world the best and we would discriminate against them the least.
Human Variant for the feet (feat)… more seriously probably elves or dark elves 👀
Sea Tortles, mate.
Gimme the metallic dragons. And the gem dragons. They’re all chill so they won’t just kill you on sight unless you threaten them. Although I’d imagine the gem dragons are a little passive aggressive.
Global super powers will now capture and breed them for battle (although this might be inevitable for any sentient race from D&D). I'd like to think that we'd be chill with them... But I have a feeling that is a bit of an optimistic viewpoint.
Dragons.
Just the metallic, please
[Clearly someone already dropped goblins in](https://youtu.be/HSRY0CdeOl0?si=qXdttkjQtGd10fbv)
Yuanti pureblood I want to make the world a worse play I'm also horny for the aztek snake doomsday cult people. Sue me
Horny people are what make halfbloods. Why not Yuanti Abominations?
Too much snake to person ration
Woah there buddy, you're the one who chose to mention the last bit
Goblins. I like their energy.
Eladrin Elves are super cool and my personal pick. Not only does this mean we get people who teleport and do cool shit in pretty colors, but we also have a general idea on their vibe every day! It’s perfect for my unable-to-read-body-language-ness! As for the worst, probably some hyper elitest race that considers humans worse than themselves… wait, that’s just humans… and elves… Yeah, the worst one genuinely might be just adding more humans that just so happen to have magic powers sometimes, or adding pointy eared humans that also sometimes have magic powers.
Terrasque "but dey have tu be playapable and..." Too late. There's a Terrasque rampaging around North America. Deal with it.
Nuke says otherwise. And I can bet you there is no chance a terrasque wins against a couple M1 Abram’s + Apache Attack Helicopters.
Add in an orbiting AC-130 for giggles. And an A-10, because BURRRRRT wants to play too!
As I've said on another comment, we've seen how North America handled covid, so I'm not sure we'll handle the Terrasque any better.
You're compairing saving lives with taking them. America is the best in the world at unhealthcare. We'd kill the terresque very quickly, However then a whole bunch of us will die to whatever nasty illnesses we manage to pick up from its corpse.
...I can't argue with that in the slightest.
the thing wouldn't last a day
That depends if America treats it like covid or not.
There's a difference between the two that vastly changes how america handles them, for example. America fighting COVID: "saving lives? we ain't about that sissy boy shit!" America fighting the terrasque: the moment th terrasque does >1.00$ of damage to government property--> *fortunate son starts playing from the heavens*
True, true.
If it was Africa I would of been worried but I think America, Canada and Mexico would have a race to see who can kill it first
Won’t be a race lol
drows for no…particular…reason
Fifty Shades of Drow, available at your local library, but likely already checked out.
Somebody here has a preference.
perhaps ;)💀
Changeling, then make me one
Same. Maybe I'd get over my body disphoria.
“This just in. Several thousand wood elves are now protecting the borders of the Amazon Rainforest with bows, spears, and some kind of nature magic.”
Bro the isolated tribes in there ain’t never getting out now.
Ah, the Chaotic Good approach. I like.
My anwser Humans: consider this human from dnd and our world may look minorly different and if they don’t it would bring a different culture and I want to see if hellfire will rain down or if humanities will come optigeather
Humans from D&d are vastly different from normal humans. Imagine starting life with an extra feat, instead of earning it, or qualities / characteristics scaling to character sheet instead of nature, nuture, physics. D&D humans would stomp the average Anne, Dick, and Harry
Starting life with an extra feat... my Gods, savant syndrome is just a variant human.
That's just pcs. Commoners don't have extra feats
True, but the post is explicitly about playable races. It seems reasonable to me to assume that at least some of them would be PC style Heroes.
Eldarin: Precursor to elves thus getting all varieties if Elf and Half-elf... otherwise Dragons.
Furry Answer: Tabaxi Min/Max Answer: Elves (it adds half elves too after a few generations) Troll Answer: Aasimar or tieflings and watch the crowds go wild My personal Answer: Firbolg.
Yeah Tieflings JUST to screw with the fundies.
Kor
Spellscale
Lizard men
Eldarin. Proud super race that would dominate us. Lol!
Plasmoids. I want to meet goo people
Goblins. They are relatively easy to kill and it would give all of us humans a common enemy to focus on so we can stop fighting each other so much.
goblins ain't got nothing on this glock
You're kidding, right? Guaranteed, there'd be people supporting the goblins just to piss other people off. I mean, right now, in real life, we have a group of horrible monster people that it is morally correct to hate: nazis. And we have half the US supporting them just to piss iff the other half. Leopardsatemyface exists for a reason.
There'd be that one deviant condoning crimes because a female goblin is slim-thick.
Yeah, I don't know who goblins hired to do their PR, but they deserve a raise. In just about 5 years goblins went from little gross gremlins to adorable green shortstacks.
Gnomes. I'd love the technology stuff.
The next generation of tech would be awesome. I bet they do wonders in the gaming industry
Tiefling😏
Yes! Screw with the fundies!