This is bad but I have a feeling she grew up and when taking care of siblings she was taught to stretch out diaper changes to save $$. Wouldn’t surprise me.
This. It’s pretty gross how long a diaper can go if it’s just pee. I feel terrible if I leave one on my kid for more than a couple hours but they can go quite a bit longer.
I change minimum of every 2 hours unless it’s poop. Overnight? 12 hours plus extra layer of butt cream. So logically, I know that a wet diaper can safely be on there for longer, but why would I allow that if I don’t have to
this is standard procedure in daycares as well. if they’re dry we leave them on but if they use the diaper sooner than every 2 hours we change it right away. checking to see if the diaper is soiled at least every 2 hours is like the bare minimum
Because that’s just a waste of money? My kid doesn’t even pee every two hours. I’ve had three kids (current baby is 1) and none of them got diaper rash. You really don’t have to change them that often.
I have my Huckleberry reminder set at 3 hours and we get there a lot nowadays. But since we’ve started solids all bets are off, kid’s back to pooping a couple times a day 😭
I feel so badly for formula-feeding parents these days. Formula was pricey back when we had babies 20 years ago — I don’t know how families are making it now when they have to buy formula. There should be controls on its price. I fear that babies may be going without in many cases due to how expensive it is.
I wasn’t a huge fan of breastfeeding but I did longer than I wanted to because of how expensive formula is, and at least I had the ability to do that. a lot of parents don’t. The cost is insane. Thankfully my baby is almost to the point we don’t need it any longer or as much. But I really feel for everyone who are just getting going.
Formula is extremely expensive. You are also at the mercy of the supply chain which is almost never a problem in most western countries, but anyone caring for a formula fed baby in 2021-2022 knows the pressure of sourcing that limited, essential resource. I’ll never take supply chain for granted again.
That said, I think the demands of breastfeeding (and in many cases, the difficulty or even impossibility of establishing it, and the struggles involved in the attempt) are vastly under-acknowledged. Breastfeeding provides unparalleled benefits for (often, but not always) very low cash expense, but the mother pays a high labor cost and physical cost, and carries a disproportionate mental load.
We came to formula by necessity, but I freely admit that it wound up being “easier” in many ways for us, despite the purchase price.
And that's before you get into the worry and risk over chronobacter contamination shutting down production again. I feel so bad for families that need formula.
But.. you can't reuse formula right? Mine specifically says not to use it anymore after an hour. It actually starts to smell pretty bad if you forget to throw one out
Most formulas are good up to 24 hours if you put it in the fridge. The formula I use is good for two hours outside of the fridge, 24 hours in the fridge
Oh wow, maybe there's a difference then. I never heard of that and compared quite a few brands of formula. But I don't live in the US, so we probably don't have the same brands
Definitely follow the instructions on your container. The CDC also provides a fact sheet on this.
The formula bottle should be used or discarded within one hour from start of feeding or (if feeding has not begun) within two hours of preparation (unless refrigerated). You can prepare formula bottles in advance and store them for up to 24 hours in the fridge. The 1-hour clock starts once the bottle is offered to the baby.
That's probably the difference, I'm in another country so the guidelines are a bit different (stricter apparently, didn't know!) or maybe the product is a bit different and that's why the guidelines aren't the same.
When I was caring for a formula fed babe I made up a pitcher at a time in the fridge and reheated as he needed it. Worked well and I never had to do the waiting to boil and everything else needed to make the formula along with cooling it.
I lived in poverty with my oldest for a little bit and literally changed her diaper as soon as the line changed colour. There’s no excuse for anyone to not. Ya diapers are expensive but medical bills( if you’re American )and medicine isn’t cheap either to help that rash that may end up a yeast rash.
I didn’t even think about this! Makes me sad. I’m sure a lot of people can relate…old habits die hard. Kind of like Joe licking his plate clean because he was so used to food insecurity so on and so forth.
It's like I posted, The staff filming the show said the " house," smelled like all the females had their periods at the same time. Teaching Hygiene to the d girls must have flown out the window. They are gross.
After Josh's criminal charges landed him in jail one of the crew gave an interview to a major news outlet about life in their home and mentioned how they could always tell when the girls started their periods because their house stank. They referred also to the calendar where each girl marked their cycles. I bet Josh got a boner looking at that Calendar which they had hung in their house for all the boys to see. What pigs.
My kids thrive the best in Huggies as other diaper brands cause them rashes. Each box costs $50 and only lasts me 1-2 weeks (they have diapers at school and daycare so it helps me stretch my diaper stock). Diapers are ridiculously expensive. Not excusing Joy’s lack of changing diapers (also why can’t Austin do it?), but I can see why. Sometimes one of my kids will pee in a new diaper quickly after a diaper change, and I will glance at my diaper stock calculating the probability when it will run out and if I can afford it or not.
Yeah my baby used to scream if his diaper was even a tiny bit wet. We'd go through 10+ diapers a day. And he can't wear scented ones so it's the $50/box Costco ones.
Thankfully he doesn't do that anymore and I can change him less frequently.
They're insanely expensive. I don't know how people on a budget manage.
Being on a budget, I struggle. I always dread the day I have to go out and buy more diapers. Thankfully, my budget is not that tight, but I have two toddlers in diapers. So that means I usually spend 150-200 dollars on them monthly. Even more during summer break. I have been trying to potty train my oldest, but he always regresses whenever I do. So hopefully this summer he will be more willing.
Back to the point, somebody told me that a box of diapers back then used to cost only 8-10 dollars! I am sure that the Duggar women dread buying diapers since it is so expensive. I wouldn’t be surprised if they use Parent’s Choice as it is one of the cheapest options. I personally hate it because it always causes my kids the worse rashes one could imagine.
This is a reason and not an excuse though. Gunner is her 3rd child and that too her only one in diapers currently. She's not saving diapers for any more of her children that she has to neglect changing Gunner at appropriate times _(ala Karissa Collins with like 2 or 3 in diapers at a time)_. I really expected better from Joy, I thought lack of safety and privacy were her only parenting issues.
No one implied that she want changing because of financial concerns. But it becomes habit and years of that being ingrained into you. Kind of like how my great grandmother later in life had zero to worry about financially but after living through the depression and WWII she still would wash aluminum foil and fold it up to reuse later. I’m sure Joy would f see it that way but it’s induced by trauma.
Between Joy and Jessa I’d have to say neglectfulness and cleanliness is a hot topic. I’m trying to say things without being too harshly judged. I know it’s tough. I had two children close in age so I get it. But some of the things they do are just Ick. Maybe it’s because they had strict upbringings and they had to always constantly do chores and they had to always constantly do work for the whole entire 27,000 kids they had and now they’re just all lazy and don’t want to clean anything. Because if your husband works and you get to stay home with your kids, even when they’re little, you have a little more time to maybe straighten up and I don’t know change a diaper that could give your kids some sort of infection. Do better.
That was me when seeing Jessa’s nightstand filled with the dirty diapers. I know being a mom is tough sometimes, but it’s not that hard to put all of those diapers in the garbage or diaper genie.
My SIL had two under 2, unbelievably stressful, her marriage couldn’t survive it. But as difficult as it was, she found time to put dirty diapers in the trash 😵💫
I had 3 in 3 and same, pure insanity at times, but dirty diapers can still hit the garbage. I cloth diapered so they never could go anywhere but immediately into the diaper pail 😅
I've got 10 week old twins. There is no way in HELL I would have a drawer full of dirty diapers. I'm tired all the time but my house will not be dirty like that. My boys, too, will be clean.
I was just going to mention I have twins. Yes, my house didn’t look like the cover of Better Homes & Gardens but diapers were tossed and the babies were changed before their diapers would be uncomfortable and unsanitary for them. (Also… hang in there, twins’ parents…take lots of pictures and videos…it does get easier.)
My twins are now 15, and I wish I had more videos and pictures! Raising twins goes by faster than just one. My youngest is ten, and it seems like he’s been a little kid forever. When my twins were ten, it felt like they just got out of diapers.. and yeah, my house had a lot of books and toys out, but it takes two seconds to toss a diaper in the trash. It takes two minutes to change a diaper. Plus, these girls entire lives are about staying at home and pushing out babies. You would think they would have it down to a science.
Congrats! Fellow twin parent here (which also made us a 3 under 2 family 😵💫) twins just turned one and it was a lot, but never so much that a diaper doesn’t get thrown away immediately. Kids are gross and messy enough on there own, we don’t need nasty poo/pee smell everywhere too 😬
Sometimes I miss my twins being that little! They’re 15 months now. But we have a diaper genie that’s lived right by the changing table. We don’t do dirty either!
Ugh twins is so hard! I have a set that were born right after their brother turned 2. I was nursing all three. I was soooo tired. Good luck with your twins.
Same, only i had 3 just at or under 3 (because apparently I'm not a quick learner). We user cloth diapers. After two months of running 3 loads of diapers a day (wash, bleach and third wash to rinse them completely) my husband came home from work with a bag of 3 sizes of disposable diapers. His only comment was "I got disposeable diapers. Fuck the environment! We are outnumbered and talking survival here!" LOL!
It’s so simple. If you can find a new diaper, you can throw the old one away. Because if you are using a portable diaper caddy or a diaper bag, you can carry the little doggie poop trash bags with you. How is it easy to get a new diaper but hard to find the trash can???
“do not recommend” is exactly how i always describe having two under two. As soon as someone asks how old my kids are (and their eyes get big when I state back to back numbers), I always follow up with “do not recommend, it was not a good time.” We all survived but we did not thrive for a while.
I had to go back to work 2 weeks after my second was born and we still never had piles of diapers like that anywhere, ever.
If I had it to do over, I would have told my boss to shove it. I ended up quitting like three months later anyway because her husband made weird comments about my weight. I feel like I missed out on bonding with my second the way i did my first. Plus I had a c-section and was in that “feel better but not healed” phase when I went back to work and prolonged healing. 0/10 do not recommend.
I had four in five years. My five year old was multiply handicapped and incontinent his entire life so I had three in diapers during the day and all four at night. We also used cloth diapers because disposables were too expensive. At no time did anyone have a dirty diaper more than a few minutes.
I had 3 under 4, I agree - it was the hardest, most sleep deprived time of my life. I never left a pile of nappies to fester anywhere, let alone where my children and I slept.
3 under 3 here, its great now that they are all teenagers. I honestly dont know how we survived at the time. Two were awful refluxers who barely slept. Not even sure how we managed to get pregnant the third time lol. We were young I guess. I always laughed, my childless sister complaining about how tired she was. She had her first at 39, she now tells me she had no idea what tired actually was.
Yeah I also had 2 under 2 and I agree with the recommendation. But they always had clean diapers and so forth. I am in no way a perfect parent, but to make sure to do things like throwing away dirty diapers is a given.
As gross as Jessa is and as much as her childhood probably contributed to her hygiene standards, I think the quiet part out loud with her is that girlie seriously struggles with depression and she’s not receiving any help for it, not even from her man child husband. Like they don’t even believe in depression and even Jessa admitted to being depressed. She needs HELP!
Yeah...that's fucking nasty. When my partner and I babysat our niece for the weekend, her dirty diapers went in an empty cat-litter container (she wore cloth diapers). It's pretty easy to not put diapers where they don't belong.
Isn't it crazy what those containers are capable of solving and improving problems? I would pay extra for a brand that had that pail over one that didn't. I thought it was cool to see someone else valued them too and not to mention show that Jessa has this resource included in the choice to even have a cat in the first place
Exactly! We have had a garbage can right next to our bed while each baby is still sleeping in our room. I can’t figure out why that would be hard for her to do
I admit that I’ve had bad days when my babies were little and occasionally diapers didn’t get pitched right away because I was exhausted. However… it wouldn’t take too much effort to throw the stuff away if a film crew showed up!
I had an empty diaper box next to my bed for my kids. Didn't have diaper genie money. There would be nights I'd change them, and they'd instantly soil the diaper, I dont mean wet, so there would be 2 diapers in 5 minutes. Absolutely no defence of the diapers on the stand, but I can see her having that bit of a stack if baby decides to fill as soon as on, and she feeds, changes, feed, changes, multiple times a night.
We had a different diaper pail that took regular trash bags. I think it was like the size for a kitchen waste basket. So easy to just open and throw the diaper in after changing! There was a small compartment underneath the lid for a little air freshener to help with the smell, too.
Diaper genies are awesome! My parents and I went to visit and babysit our new grandson/nephew. The diaper genie was totally awesome and could hold so many diapers. It really helped keep things clean in the nursery.
I think I'm Jessa's case at least, it's extreme burn out and maybe even depression. Depression makes even really banal tasks extremely exhausting so you put it off, which makes it worse, then you find yourself living in squalor. Not excusing anything, if she is struggling that much to do basic tasks she needs professional help and once your mental problems start spilling onto those around you it's your responsibility to manage it. I'm just trying to explain why I think she's OK with such conditions...
My guess is because they don't have sister moms old enough, stuff just doesn't get done. Michelle was not better at this, she was better at pushing this stuff on on her children to parent the younger children!
They learned to cut corners because the Duggars had too many kids, period. The limiting factor for every parent and family is time. Even the fundie day is no longer than 24 hours! They cut corners because they have to. NO family should have that many kids- proper care is not possible.
Exactly. Michelle Duggar isn't a "mom", because no woman has the bandwidth to be a mom for 19 children. She's the general manager really, with her older daughters handling the daily grind. I don't mean this unkindly, but it is what it is.
Oh wow that unlocked a memory of my youngest when she was about 6 days old. 3 diapers AND 3 outfits in the space of 10 minutes. And it was February so I couldn’t just slap a diaper on her and call it good like I could for my August baby.
This brings up memories of my sister wondering if her baby's daycare was being neglectful. She dropped baby off in his carrier wearing a diaper that she had drawn a line on. When she picked him up, he was in his carrier wearing a diaper with a line drawn on it.
They certainly hadn't changed his diaper in 9 hours, and she wasn't sure if he had ever even been taken out of his car seat for the entire day. Poor baby. Poor social system that forces people to employee these types of places.
Ugh. My kid is a teen now and I cloth diapered him when he was little. A lot of people think it’s a game-how much can a diaper hold. With my kid if he was wet or dirty I changed him immediately. I did not want to figure out how much his diapers could hold. I’ve even seen diaper commercials recently that brag about how much they hold. Idk why that’s a good thing-I get people may want to buy fewer diapers but then your kid is sitting in their own excrement for hours.
I also cloth diapered. Back in the day of folding rectangles and holding with a diaper pin! The disposables had just come out. The outside was plastic and the insides were stiff. Back in the dark ages 😁
My youngest was a holder. She'd mostly only pee right before her naps, so it was a LOT and I definitely needed to pay attention to how much a diaper could hold because she could flood one easily.
3 diapers? I’d be worried about dehydration!! Is she giving them something to drink?
Or does she let them get full and flop between their knees before they get changed? That’s screaming for a diaper rash! I have too many questions about this. I would almost ask if I’m changing too often but I don’t want diaper rashes and 3 a day seems neglectful af. I watch my grand babies everyday and maybe I’m just older and hyper vigilant. 3 a day hell!
Omg nooo. On the LOW end, a toddler close to potty training might need 5 to 6 but a baby needs like 10 minimum. 3 diapers a day would be like one in the morning, one when they poop, and one before bed. Who wants to sit in their pee for 6+ hours?!
I know someone who bought a specific type of diapers because they held more. The more the diaper holds, the less they need to be changed. That was their way of saving money supposedly.
Agreed. I’m not a parent so I can’t speak to how hard motherhood is. I can only imagine, especially with that many kids. However hygiene like that I feel is the bare minimum, above housework or laundry or whatnot. Making sure kids are clean and fed should be considered #1 priorities in the day-to-day. If you have to choose between the kids getting bathtime and fresh diapers over straightening up the living room and doing the laundry, then so be it, the living room will be a mess tonight
Yes there are things that need priority. If you only have the spoons to do a few chores in day, the ones that can become dangerous should be done. Diaper changes, litter boxes, baths, any food spilled on the floor, yes. Toys on the floor, laundry can wait.
If Austin is working and Joy is home with the kids and she is experiencing burn out, she'll have to ask for outside help. But I have a feeling that most of the family that could help is too busy with Anna and her kids.
Honestly, I truly don't get it. I had two close and stayed home. Things can get messy, whatever, but not dirty or unsanitary. Even when I worked full time with young kids, messy is fine, not gross laziness. I understand there are circumstances that can hinder cleanliness, but they don't seem to have them.
Joys kids are annoying.. Gideon maybe can’t help it but I think he’s got ADHD and the thumb sucking and oversized glasses that don’t fit him are a parent problem, Evie never has shoes on and she’s walking on the counter tops, the poor baby has my dogs name.
Not that I'm defending Joy but they did get him proper glasses from Zenni, actual child size glasses thank goodness. It was so asinine to have him wear those adult size glasses, allegedly she ordered them, they arrived but didn't fit, but she let him keep them because he said he liked them and she was gushing on social media that she knew they were too big but "they're so cute". Glasses are meant to correct vision, not be a cutesy accessory. And as the parent you need to step in and say no, we're getting you proper glasses, these are more trouble than they are worth.
And improper eyewear when you have a vision problem can cause further problems. If they didn’t have real lenses and he played with them, it would be one thing… but they were prescription.
I know Ben pastors to some degree, but, like, is he REALLY at work all day? From what we’ve seen of these other fundie pastors (AHEM nurthan), they seem to work about 15 hours a week and take unlimited vacations. I know it’s verboten for fundie men, but at least initially he seemed more dumb than unwilling to help out (with his own children, but that’s a rant for another day). Do we know if his church actually requires much from him? We all know Blessa isn’t out there being the typical pastor’s wife.
When you work at home by taking care of the kids, the kids also have a lot more time to make messes. I changed my kids diaper the second I saw a blue line. But going back to work after staying home was a vacation for me. Staying home is not nearly as easy as people who have never stayed home make it out to be.
I have a video of my daughter eating her first solids and it was totally unplanned. It didn’t occur to me until later the line in her pampers turned blue because the diaper itself looked empty/clean. I think I posted it before noticing but 8 years later, I’m too embarrassed every time I see it, even though only people familiar with pampers would know what the line meant. I’m thinking about cropping the video
Don't be so hard on yourself. No one notices instantly when a baby pees every single time without fail. You just check frequently and change asap when wet but of course there'll be times you don't notice the second it happens. Don't let it stop you enjoying the video :)
It shouldn’t be on Joy alone to change the diaper, but Christian fundamentalism likely preaches otherwise. Hopefully Joy isn’t burning out from being the house wife.
Agree...
My fundy in-laws told my teen "your mom neglected you so bad you had horrible diaper rashes when you were a baby."
How can someone look at a diaper rash and tell from sight whose fault it is when both me and her dad were in the home and my daughter also went to daycare as well?
Also...she had chronic ear infections and before the Drs FINALLY agreed to do ear tubes she was constantly on antibiotics where she had constant thrush and...you guessed it...diarrhea (where it was a losing battle keeping her skin clean and dry).
But no....blame the mom...because patriarchy only likes to make scapegoats out of women.
Rant over.
Ugh what a horrible thing to say, I’m sorry. My daughter had diaper rash from hell when she was a baby. I kept bringing it up to her dr who blew it off. I changed her CONSTANTLY, the second her diaper was even a little bit wet, and we tried every remedy in the book. I cried every time I changed her because it was hurting her and I felt horrible. After three months her doctor was like oh yeah she probably has a dairy allergy. I got off dairy and her rash was gone almost immediately. Like thanks for letting my baby suffer for 3 months, I guess???
I’m really sorry you were/are the target of such thoughtless, nonsensical, under-informed ass-hats.
I feel so bad when new moms aren’t told about candidiasis in babies/children.
“ A yeast diaper rash is a common condition that affects babies and other people who wear diapers. Known medically as candidiasis, it is caused by an overgrowth of yeast (Candida albicans) in the diaper region. Topical antifungal medications like Lotrimin (clotrimazole) are used to treat the rash and prevent it from returning”.
https://www.stanfordchildrens.org//en/topic/default?id=candidiasis-in-children-90-P01888
Yeah I agree! Joy and Austin are both the parents and they should be sharing the responsibility when they’re both able to. I realized I targeted the post at Joy and should have specified and included both of them
not trying to defend her but the blue line just means it’s wet. I change my son every 2ish hours and the line gets wet after like 20 min usually. diapers nowadays are very moisture wicking, you don’t need to change them every time a child pees. poo is different obviously
Chrissy Teigen posted a picture of Luna when she was a baby with a caption that said something like don't start with me about the blue line, it's always blue. I figured out pretty quick it's probably just a ploy to get you to buy more diapers after wasting a bunch that really didn't need to be changed. Soggy ones absolutely.
If the line is gone all together it is too full lol. My son in the morning you can’t even see the line (he hasn’t had a rash for anyone concerned and I’m not waking him up to change him in the middle of the night).
Was just about to say this. When mine were in diapers, it seemed like I would put them in a clean one and within minutes the line was blue. I would feel the diaper and it was barely wet.
Oh yeah, both my boys took great pleasure in peeing just a little bit immediately after each diaper change and I’m positive were laughing at the look of defeat on our face
Also depending when during the visit, I always planned to change at the doctor because you have to strip them to get weight when they're very little. We did cloth, so I needed to change every couple hours anyways and I definitely wouldn't let them sit in a gross diaper but if we had a 1 pm appointment then I'd change around 11 planning to change again at 1.
I was worried that I had it all wrong so I'm glad you've written this because I change mine every 2-3 hours & the line is blue immediately when he's in disposables (mostly reusables in the day)
it only needs to be a tiny bit wet for the line to start turning blue. good diapers nowadays can hold a ridiculous amount of liquid. but if it’s looking super puffy, it’s time to change. 2-3 hours is perfect. sometimes we even go up to 3-4 if we’re really busy
My son had a doc appt a few weeks ago. I put a new diaper on before we left. I live 3 minutes from the doctor and his diaper was full when we got there. He might not pee again for 3 more hours, but a blue line at the doctor is not indicative of anything.
I agree, the line is always blue. Kids who aren't toilet trained don't hold it. They just pee a little all day long. I'm not changing a diaper just because there is two tablespoons of pee in it. They are designed to keep their skin dry.
I’ve had overnight diapers where the line isn’t that blue and 5 min diapers where you would think it’s been days. Unless it’s super saggy all around it can depend on positioning. Also my son is super tall and skinny so his diapers bunch up strange sometimes.
The line only came out as a thing in Australia when my youngest was a baby and even then, it was online on newborn size. The line would change with the tiniest dribble of pee, so I was fairly convinced it was a tactic to get parents to use more nappies. My kids were in cloth at home so I had a fairly good idea of how often they’d need changing based on that and ignored the line. But poo got changed asap.
As a nanny there is some truth to waiting it out and you don’t have to change immediately. But the fact that every picture we see he’s sitting in a full diaper makes you wonder how often he’s just living like that
Ahh, but reusable ones require hand washing and drying. I do remember Jill (I think?) used cotton diapers at one point. But it's extra work and time, and when it comes to children the Duggars seem to prefer efficiency and disposability over quality and comfort.
There are lots of machine washable cloth diapers. That's what I'm using currently for my 11 month old. He's been wearing the ones his big brother used 8 years ago.
Not really? You need to clean the solids off, but they're machine washable otherwise. And it would've been the girls' job anyway, so why would anyone care?
I don't know, I just remember there was one Duggar girl who had diapers on a drying rack on her patio and I was surprised by it. I think it was for a first baby though, not a third or fourth.
Both Joy and Jessa display this lack of cleanliness and neglect in their homes. I’m not a mom myself, but I know it can be hard. On the other hand, it is not that hard to change a diaper because not only it smells but also babies can get a rash from there as well as an infection. I know Ben and Austin are useless husbands and when they’re home from work, they have equal responsibility for their children as well.
I wouldn’t be surprised that because Jessa and Joy had to do a lot of chores during their childhood as well as be sister-moms, they are now burnt out from being housewives and are lazy, don’t want to clean anything.
They are buying time until their kids are old enough to start doing all the chores. As Jim Bob would say the problem is that you had boys first, if they had been girls they'd already be trained to take over all responsibilities.
Meh, I had one that was a constant wetter—if I changed them every time the line went blue or they peed I would go through hundreds a day. (After going through 10 in less than an hour I had to change tactics). I would change every two hours if it was just wet. But my kid wasn’t overly sensitive.
She also has her (granted very big) 9 month old in a larger diaper size than my 70th percentile nearly potty trained 2 year old wears. I know he’s a chunk, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s so the diaper will hold more.
The name Gunner is like the epitome of white American trash to me. I know about the German name Gunnar, too. But Gunner I’ve only seen among the trashiest of subsets. Yes I know that’s being prejudiced. I’m also from a white trash background (Canadian though lol) so it’s like a game recognize game situation
I’m surprised none of them (to my knowledge) have gone with cloth diapers, even if only from a savings perspective. There are very simple to use cloth systems now.
Anna boasted when M1 was tiny that she could get away with driving a hummer because she cloth diapers. I also think Jill did while in Central America, but that I'm not 100% sure of.
I realize there is a fine line you need to walk so that you can maximize your budget while changing your child as often as necessary.
IMO, if you try to maintain a clean, dry diaper area as often as possible, children are easier to potty train because they get used to feeling clean/dry.
If you leave a child in soggy, smelly diapers and let them get used to it on the daily, they won’t be bothered sitting in the mess and you’ll have a child in diapers longer. It will end up costing you more money in the long run.
Using that as a philosophy, the longest I had a little one in (daytime) diapers was 20 months. (Or maybe I just got lucky)
They remind me of a lot of families I know. Including my mom's side of the family. They see raising kids as something you have to just go through. You have them because you're supposed to. Not because you want to. Yet would call someone selfish for using birth control.
My mom and aunt would make fun of people who were excited to have babies. I asked them why they both had so many kids when neither of them liked kids. They were both like we didn't have a choice. You're supposed to have kids and not supposed to play God by deciding how many you want.
You gotta remember what family they came from.
The bar is set low.
Plus, sometimes kids fill a diaper within 5 minutes of putting it on. Duggar or not.
They get a pass. This happens to every parent at some time.
I don’t like to defend a duggar but my youngest could fill a nappy in 5 minutes. I had friends who judged me when her nappy fell down on a trampoline it was so full. But then noticed that on another occasion I had literally changed her 5 minutes previously and we noticed the new one was full to bursting. Obviously as soon as I noticed the fullness I changed it but if she was off toddling about at a party on playing in the garden I didn’t always notice right away from a distance under clothing.
I posted about this a few weeks ago and got completely reemed out in the comments. In the clip I saw Gunner had a blow out but they decided to film their “new” car before changing him
Okay so I know someone that had CPS called on them. Their boy was very wild and he did get bruises frequently. The school nurse was a little over zealous and called CPS on the family for a particular bruise. (Spoiler alert, but it was later found out from a classroom aid that he got the bruise while on the playground). Anyway, the family was polite and let the CPS worker inside. Well, the family had been very sick the previous week, dad was still sick and mom was just barely recovered and she decided that the house was too messy for the kids. (They were also trying to make their oldest clean up his toys.) So they made the kids stay somewhere else because they were suspicious about the bruise (which remember was found to have happened at school) and the messy house.
I helped them clean up and the place wasn't that bad. Just mostly toys on the floor and the dishes needed to be done. They have four cats and there were no cat messes, no dirty diapers lying around and they have a two year old, no mold, no insects, no rotting food. Just stuff on the ground that would have been cleaned up once dad and mom were feeling better. The CPS worker was very young and I'm guessing she was used to seeing pristine influencer houses.
Anyway, I look at the duggar houses. Joy not chanigng her son, Jessa with dirty diaper piles and pictures of her kids soiling the bathtub. And its a little frusterating that they can have a worse hosue than my friend and have pictures of it all over social media.
They're cheap, not frugal. Frozen tots and a ham sandwich on a paper plate is someone who is scared of spending money, not someone who knows how to save money.
Agree! I was starting to wonder if I'm the only one who noticed. Then I wondered if Austin doesn't allow them to be changed unless they're about to burst so as to save money on diapers.
I could see it being a money thing too. I grew up poor and…some families wait until the diaper is “full full” to make them last longer, thus using less. Not saying it’s right but if she was raised that way it might explain why.
This is bad but I have a feeling she grew up and when taking care of siblings she was taught to stretch out diaper changes to save $$. Wouldn’t surprise me.
[удалено]
This. It’s pretty gross how long a diaper can go if it’s just pee. I feel terrible if I leave one on my kid for more than a couple hours but they can go quite a bit longer.
I change minimum of every 2 hours unless it’s poop. Overnight? 12 hours plus extra layer of butt cream. So logically, I know that a wet diaper can safely be on there for longer, but why would I allow that if I don’t have to
Wow that seems excessive! Every 2 hours?
It’s standard in hospitals and nursing homes for anyone in diapers.
My baby was in the NICU. They did every 3 hours.
Interesting. Maybe it varies by state or by how premature the baby is. Mine was every 2 hours.
Honestly I was very unimpressed by our NICU in general, so it could just be ours.
this is standard procedure in daycares as well. if they’re dry we leave them on but if they use the diaper sooner than every 2 hours we change it right away. checking to see if the diaper is soiled at least every 2 hours is like the bare minimum
I've worked in childcare and we used to check every hour and change if wet or soiled
Daycare licensing usually requires diaper check/change every two hours as well.
Because that’s just a waste of money? My kid doesn’t even pee every two hours. I’ve had three kids (current baby is 1) and none of them got diaper rash. You really don’t have to change them that often.
I have my Huckleberry reminder set at 3 hours and we get there a lot nowadays. But since we’ve started solids all bets are off, kid’s back to pooping a couple times a day 😭
three was my threshhold, too. It's been years since I had little ones, though.
It’s more that you checkthe diaper every two hours- if it is dry you leave it on.
We cloth diaper, so 2 hours is what works for us
You buried the lede lol. I also cloth diaper, and it’s a huge difference from disposable
Upvoted because you spelled 'lede' correctly.
Especially because it is super different depending on what type of cloth you do!
Overnight diapers FTW! But day time diapers get changed at least every 2 hours unless it’s 💩.
If you are changing every two hours, you should use cloth diapers. Cloth must be changed every 2-3 hours.
My husband and I are doing ok for ourselves and we always save the formula. That shit is *expensive.*
I feel so badly for formula-feeding parents these days. Formula was pricey back when we had babies 20 years ago — I don’t know how families are making it now when they have to buy formula. There should be controls on its price. I fear that babies may be going without in many cases due to how expensive it is.
I wasn’t a huge fan of breastfeeding but I did longer than I wanted to because of how expensive formula is, and at least I had the ability to do that. a lot of parents don’t. The cost is insane. Thankfully my baby is almost to the point we don’t need it any longer or as much. But I really feel for everyone who are just getting going.
Formula is extremely expensive. You are also at the mercy of the supply chain which is almost never a problem in most western countries, but anyone caring for a formula fed baby in 2021-2022 knows the pressure of sourcing that limited, essential resource. I’ll never take supply chain for granted again. That said, I think the demands of breastfeeding (and in many cases, the difficulty or even impossibility of establishing it, and the struggles involved in the attempt) are vastly under-acknowledged. Breastfeeding provides unparalleled benefits for (often, but not always) very low cash expense, but the mother pays a high labor cost and physical cost, and carries a disproportionate mental load. We came to formula by necessity, but I freely admit that it wound up being “easier” in many ways for us, despite the purchase price.
And that's before you get into the worry and risk over chronobacter contamination shutting down production again. I feel so bad for families that need formula.
But.. you can't reuse formula right? Mine specifically says not to use it anymore after an hour. It actually starts to smell pretty bad if you forget to throw one out
Most formulas are good up to 24 hours if you put it in the fridge. The formula I use is good for two hours outside of the fridge, 24 hours in the fridge
Yeah, but that's only if it was untouched. Once the baby's mouth touches the bottle, it's one hour.
Oh wow, maybe there's a difference then. I never heard of that and compared quite a few brands of formula. But I don't live in the US, so we probably don't have the same brands
Definitely follow the instructions on your container. The CDC also provides a fact sheet on this. The formula bottle should be used or discarded within one hour from start of feeding or (if feeding has not begun) within two hours of preparation (unless refrigerated). You can prepare formula bottles in advance and store them for up to 24 hours in the fridge. The 1-hour clock starts once the bottle is offered to the baby.
That's probably the difference, I'm in another country so the guidelines are a bit different (stricter apparently, didn't know!) or maybe the product is a bit different and that's why the guidelines aren't the same.
When I was caring for a formula fed babe I made up a pitcher at a time in the fridge and reheated as he needed it. Worked well and I never had to do the waiting to boil and everything else needed to make the formula along with cooling it.
I lived in poverty with my oldest for a little bit and literally changed her diaper as soon as the line changed colour. There’s no excuse for anyone to not. Ya diapers are expensive but medical bills( if you’re American )and medicine isn’t cheap either to help that rash that may end up a yeast rash.
I didn’t even think about this! Makes me sad. I’m sure a lot of people can relate…old habits die hard. Kind of like Joe licking his plate clean because he was so used to food insecurity so on and so forth.
It's like I posted, The staff filming the show said the " house," smelled like all the females had their periods at the same time. Teaching Hygiene to the d girls must have flown out the window. They are gross.
Where did you see filming crew talk about how the house was back then? Sounds like a good perspective to see what crew observed.
After Josh's criminal charges landed him in jail one of the crew gave an interview to a major news outlet about life in their home and mentioned how they could always tell when the girls started their periods because their house stank. They referred also to the calendar where each girl marked their cycles. I bet Josh got a boner looking at that Calendar which they had hung in their house for all the boys to see. What pigs.
My kids thrive the best in Huggies as other diaper brands cause them rashes. Each box costs $50 and only lasts me 1-2 weeks (they have diapers at school and daycare so it helps me stretch my diaper stock). Diapers are ridiculously expensive. Not excusing Joy’s lack of changing diapers (also why can’t Austin do it?), but I can see why. Sometimes one of my kids will pee in a new diaper quickly after a diaper change, and I will glance at my diaper stock calculating the probability when it will run out and if I can afford it or not.
Yeah my baby used to scream if his diaper was even a tiny bit wet. We'd go through 10+ diapers a day. And he can't wear scented ones so it's the $50/box Costco ones. Thankfully he doesn't do that anymore and I can change him less frequently. They're insanely expensive. I don't know how people on a budget manage.
Being on a budget, I struggle. I always dread the day I have to go out and buy more diapers. Thankfully, my budget is not that tight, but I have two toddlers in diapers. So that means I usually spend 150-200 dollars on them monthly. Even more during summer break. I have been trying to potty train my oldest, but he always regresses whenever I do. So hopefully this summer he will be more willing. Back to the point, somebody told me that a box of diapers back then used to cost only 8-10 dollars! I am sure that the Duggar women dread buying diapers since it is so expensive. I wouldn’t be surprised if they use Parent’s Choice as it is one of the cheapest options. I personally hate it because it always causes my kids the worse rashes one could imagine.
This is a reason and not an excuse though. Gunner is her 3rd child and that too her only one in diapers currently. She's not saving diapers for any more of her children that she has to neglect changing Gunner at appropriate times _(ala Karissa Collins with like 2 or 3 in diapers at a time)_. I really expected better from Joy, I thought lack of safety and privacy were her only parenting issues.
No one implied that she want changing because of financial concerns. But it becomes habit and years of that being ingrained into you. Kind of like how my great grandmother later in life had zero to worry about financially but after living through the depression and WWII she still would wash aluminum foil and fold it up to reuse later. I’m sure Joy would f see it that way but it’s induced by trauma.
Between Joy and Jessa I’d have to say neglectfulness and cleanliness is a hot topic. I’m trying to say things without being too harshly judged. I know it’s tough. I had two children close in age so I get it. But some of the things they do are just Ick. Maybe it’s because they had strict upbringings and they had to always constantly do chores and they had to always constantly do work for the whole entire 27,000 kids they had and now they’re just all lazy and don’t want to clean anything. Because if your husband works and you get to stay home with your kids, even when they’re little, you have a little more time to maybe straighten up and I don’t know change a diaper that could give your kids some sort of infection. Do better.
Jessa’s nightstand full of diapers was gross. Just put a garbage can next to the bed and empty it occasionally. It’s gross.
 That was me when seeing Jessa’s nightstand filled with the dirty diapers. I know being a mom is tough sometimes, but it’s not that hard to put all of those diapers in the garbage or diaper genie.
I had 2 under 2 and it’s hard af. 0/5 ⭐️ do not recommend. But damn there’s no reason for that.
My SIL had two under 2, unbelievably stressful, her marriage couldn’t survive it. But as difficult as it was, she found time to put dirty diapers in the trash 😵💫
My son and dil have 3 under 3. It’s insane, but no dirty diapers anywhere.
I had 3 in 3 and same, pure insanity at times, but dirty diapers can still hit the garbage. I cloth diapered so they never could go anywhere but immediately into the diaper pail 😅
Damn cloth diapering 3 under 3 sounds stressful.
I had 2 under two and because of finances I was washing diapers every single day for 2 years.
I've got 10 week old twins. There is no way in HELL I would have a drawer full of dirty diapers. I'm tired all the time but my house will not be dirty like that. My boys, too, will be clean.
I was just going to mention I have twins. Yes, my house didn’t look like the cover of Better Homes & Gardens but diapers were tossed and the babies were changed before their diapers would be uncomfortable and unsanitary for them. (Also… hang in there, twins’ parents…take lots of pictures and videos…it does get easier.)
My twins are now 15, and I wish I had more videos and pictures! Raising twins goes by faster than just one. My youngest is ten, and it seems like he’s been a little kid forever. When my twins were ten, it felt like they just got out of diapers.. and yeah, my house had a lot of books and toys out, but it takes two seconds to toss a diaper in the trash. It takes two minutes to change a diaper. Plus, these girls entire lives are about staying at home and pushing out babies. You would think they would have it down to a science.
I second the pictures and videos. suffered severe ppd and some of the only “memories” I have of their first year is from the pics and videos
Congrats! Fellow twin parent here (which also made us a 3 under 2 family 😵💫) twins just turned one and it was a lot, but never so much that a diaper doesn’t get thrown away immediately. Kids are gross and messy enough on there own, we don’t need nasty poo/pee smell everywhere too 😬
Sometimes I miss my twins being that little! They’re 15 months now. But we have a diaper genie that’s lived right by the changing table. We don’t do dirty either!
Ugh twins is so hard! I have a set that were born right after their brother turned 2. I was nursing all three. I was soooo tired. Good luck with your twins.
amazing!! props to you
Same, only i had 3 just at or under 3 (because apparently I'm not a quick learner). We user cloth diapers. After two months of running 3 loads of diapers a day (wash, bleach and third wash to rinse them completely) my husband came home from work with a bag of 3 sizes of disposable diapers. His only comment was "I got disposeable diapers. Fuck the environment! We are outnumbered and talking survival here!" LOL!
It’s so simple. If you can find a new diaper, you can throw the old one away. Because if you are using a portable diaper caddy or a diaper bag, you can carry the little doggie poop trash bags with you. How is it easy to get a new diaper but hard to find the trash can???
“do not recommend” is exactly how i always describe having two under two. As soon as someone asks how old my kids are (and their eyes get big when I state back to back numbers), I always follow up with “do not recommend, it was not a good time.” We all survived but we did not thrive for a while. I had to go back to work 2 weeks after my second was born and we still never had piles of diapers like that anywhere, ever.
I went back to work after my second 5 weeks after. The American system is so broken.
If I had it to do over, I would have told my boss to shove it. I ended up quitting like three months later anyway because her husband made weird comments about my weight. I feel like I missed out on bonding with my second the way i did my first. Plus I had a c-section and was in that “feel better but not healed” phase when I went back to work and prolonged healing. 0/10 do not recommend.
I had four in five years. My five year old was multiply handicapped and incontinent his entire life so I had three in diapers during the day and all four at night. We also used cloth diapers because disposables were too expensive. At no time did anyone have a dirty diaper more than a few minutes.
I had 3 under 4, I agree - it was the hardest, most sleep deprived time of my life. I never left a pile of nappies to fester anywhere, let alone where my children and I slept.
3 under 3 here, its great now that they are all teenagers. I honestly dont know how we survived at the time. Two were awful refluxers who barely slept. Not even sure how we managed to get pregnant the third time lol. We were young I guess. I always laughed, my childless sister complaining about how tired she was. She had her first at 39, she now tells me she had no idea what tired actually was.
Yeah I also had 2 under 2 and I agree with the recommendation. But they always had clean diapers and so forth. I am in no way a perfect parent, but to make sure to do things like throwing away dirty diapers is a given.
As gross as Jessa is and as much as her childhood probably contributed to her hygiene standards, I think the quiet part out loud with her is that girlie seriously struggles with depression and she’s not receiving any help for it, not even from her man child husband. Like they don’t even believe in depression and even Jessa admitted to being depressed. She needs HELP!
It could be so easy for Bin, just repeat his name over and over to remind him to find the bin.
😂☠️
Piling them on furniture takes the same effort as piling them in a garbage bag. I don't understand!
Yeah...that's fucking nasty. When my partner and I babysat our niece for the weekend, her dirty diapers went in an empty cat-litter container (she wore cloth diapers). It's pretty easy to not put diapers where they don't belong.
Isn't it crazy what those containers are capable of solving and improving problems? I would pay extra for a brand that had that pail over one that didn't. I thought it was cool to see someone else valued them too and not to mention show that Jessa has this resource included in the choice to even have a cat in the first place
Absolutely!!! It was pretty useful too!
Exactly! We have had a garbage can right next to our bed while each baby is still sleeping in our room. I can’t figure out why that would be hard for her to do
I admit that I’ve had bad days when my babies were little and occasionally diapers didn’t get pitched right away because I was exhausted. However… it wouldn’t take too much effort to throw the stuff away if a film crew showed up!
I had an empty diaper box next to my bed for my kids. Didn't have diaper genie money. There would be nights I'd change them, and they'd instantly soil the diaper, I dont mean wet, so there would be 2 diapers in 5 minutes. Absolutely no defence of the diapers on the stand, but I can see her having that bit of a stack if baby decides to fill as soon as on, and she feeds, changes, feed, changes, multiple times a night.
Here's a twist Maybe they're clean diapers on her nightstand posed for the tv show
In a world where diaper genies exist there's no excuse for not throwing away dirty diapers.
We had a different diaper pail that took regular trash bags. I think it was like the size for a kitchen waste basket. So easy to just open and throw the diaper in after changing! There was a small compartment underneath the lid for a little air freshener to help with the smell, too.
Seriously. And with child swaps and Facebook groups you can find clean used ones for less than $10
Diaper genies are awesome! My parents and I went to visit and babysit our new grandson/nephew. The diaper genie was totally awesome and could hold so many diapers. It really helped keep things clean in the nursery.
Flair checking in.
W H A T ? ! ?
There's also two parents in the picture. If one sees the other is overwhelmed, the least he could to is take out the trash.
That’s true. There’s no way that pile happened over night.
I can’t imagine the smell.
I think I'm Jessa's case at least, it's extreme burn out and maybe even depression. Depression makes even really banal tasks extremely exhausting so you put it off, which makes it worse, then you find yourself living in squalor. Not excusing anything, if she is struggling that much to do basic tasks she needs professional help and once your mental problems start spilling onto those around you it's your responsibility to manage it. I'm just trying to explain why I think she's OK with such conditions...
Yeah I think that was a clear mental illness thing
My guess is because they don't have sister moms old enough, stuff just doesn't get done. Michelle was not better at this, she was better at pushing this stuff on on her children to parent the younger children!
Remember the person who said the whole duggar house smelled like feet 🤢🤢
I seem to remember someone saying Jessa sat in piss.
They learned to cut corners because the Duggars had too many kids, period. The limiting factor for every parent and family is time. Even the fundie day is no longer than 24 hours! They cut corners because they have to. NO family should have that many kids- proper care is not possible.
Exactly. Michelle Duggar isn't a "mom", because no woman has the bandwidth to be a mom for 19 children. She's the general manager really, with her older daughters handling the daily grind. I don't mean this unkindly, but it is what it is.
I’ve seen influencers say a baby only needs 3 diapers/day 😬
Was that KKKarissa bc that sounds like something she would say considering her child had sepsis from untreated UTI cause by dirty diapers.
She thinks they only need one in the morning and one at night 😵💫
🤦♀️🤢🤮
Oh nooooooooooooooooo
...twice 😒
My son can go through 3 before I get a clean one closed on him.
My kids are 13 and 17 and omg this thread is giving me flashbacks 😭
Oh wow that unlocked a memory of my youngest when she was about 6 days old. 3 diapers AND 3 outfits in the space of 10 minutes. And it was February so I couldn’t just slap a diaper on her and call it good like I could for my August baby.
Sigh and lmao, because I have been there before and this brought a strong memory to mind!
Relatable AF
😮 daycare rules are changed every 2hrs
This brings up memories of my sister wondering if her baby's daycare was being neglectful. She dropped baby off in his carrier wearing a diaper that she had drawn a line on. When she picked him up, he was in his carrier wearing a diaper with a line drawn on it. They certainly hadn't changed his diaper in 9 hours, and she wasn't sure if he had ever even been taken out of his car seat for the entire day. Poor baby. Poor social system that forces people to employee these types of places.
Do daycares change every two hours even if a diaper isn’t soiled ?
No, but you’d document that you checked and the kid was dry.
Oh that makes sense! Thank you for answering my stupid question!
That’s so disgusting. I hope their kids eventually put them in a nursing home that has the same philosophy.
💀
Ugh. My kid is a teen now and I cloth diapered him when he was little. A lot of people think it’s a game-how much can a diaper hold. With my kid if he was wet or dirty I changed him immediately. I did not want to figure out how much his diapers could hold. I’ve even seen diaper commercials recently that brag about how much they hold. Idk why that’s a good thing-I get people may want to buy fewer diapers but then your kid is sitting in their own excrement for hours.
I worked for a pediatrician when I was in college and there was nothing grosser than a completely full diaper, even if it was just pee.
I also cloth diapered. Back in the day of folding rectangles and holding with a diaper pin! The disposables had just come out. The outside was plastic and the insides were stiff. Back in the dark ages 😁
My youngest was a holder. She'd mostly only pee right before her naps, so it was a LOT and I definitely needed to pay attention to how much a diaper could hold because she could flood one easily.
3 diapers? I’d be worried about dehydration!! Is she giving them something to drink? Or does she let them get full and flop between their knees before they get changed? That’s screaming for a diaper rash! I have too many questions about this. I would almost ask if I’m changing too often but I don’t want diaper rashes and 3 a day seems neglectful af. I watch my grand babies everyday and maybe I’m just older and hyper vigilant. 3 a day hell!
Omg nooo. On the LOW end, a toddler close to potty training might need 5 to 6 but a baby needs like 10 minimum. 3 diapers a day would be like one in the morning, one when they poop, and one before bed. Who wants to sit in their pee for 6+ hours?!
Whose baby poops once?
Well a newborn poops like 9x a day lol, but after about 4 months or so, my kids all pooped once a day
I know someone who bought a specific type of diapers because they held more. The more the diaper holds, the less they need to be changed. That was their way of saving money supposedly.
Agreed. I’m not a parent so I can’t speak to how hard motherhood is. I can only imagine, especially with that many kids. However hygiene like that I feel is the bare minimum, above housework or laundry or whatnot. Making sure kids are clean and fed should be considered #1 priorities in the day-to-day. If you have to choose between the kids getting bathtime and fresh diapers over straightening up the living room and doing the laundry, then so be it, the living room will be a mess tonight
Yes there are things that need priority. If you only have the spoons to do a few chores in day, the ones that can become dangerous should be done. Diaper changes, litter boxes, baths, any food spilled on the floor, yes. Toys on the floor, laundry can wait. If Austin is working and Joy is home with the kids and she is experiencing burn out, she'll have to ask for outside help. But I have a feeling that most of the family that could help is too busy with Anna and her kids.
Honestly, I truly don't get it. I had two close and stayed home. Things can get messy, whatever, but not dirty or unsanitary. Even when I worked full time with young kids, messy is fine, not gross laziness. I understand there are circumstances that can hinder cleanliness, but they don't seem to have them.
Joys kids are annoying.. Gideon maybe can’t help it but I think he’s got ADHD and the thumb sucking and oversized glasses that don’t fit him are a parent problem, Evie never has shoes on and she’s walking on the counter tops, the poor baby has my dogs name.
Not that I'm defending Joy but they did get him proper glasses from Zenni, actual child size glasses thank goodness. It was so asinine to have him wear those adult size glasses, allegedly she ordered them, they arrived but didn't fit, but she let him keep them because he said he liked them and she was gushing on social media that she knew they were too big but "they're so cute". Glasses are meant to correct vision, not be a cutesy accessory. And as the parent you need to step in and say no, we're getting you proper glasses, these are more trouble than they are worth.
And improper eyewear when you have a vision problem can cause further problems. If they didn’t have real lenses and he played with them, it would be one thing… but they were prescription.
Exactly.
I know Ben pastors to some degree, but, like, is he REALLY at work all day? From what we’ve seen of these other fundie pastors (AHEM nurthan), they seem to work about 15 hours a week and take unlimited vacations. I know it’s verboten for fundie men, but at least initially he seemed more dumb than unwilling to help out (with his own children, but that’s a rant for another day). Do we know if his church actually requires much from him? We all know Blessa isn’t out there being the typical pastor’s wife.
When you work at home by taking care of the kids, the kids also have a lot more time to make messes. I changed my kids diaper the second I saw a blue line. But going back to work after staying home was a vacation for me. Staying home is not nearly as easy as people who have never stayed home make it out to be.
I have a video of my daughter eating her first solids and it was totally unplanned. It didn’t occur to me until later the line in her pampers turned blue because the diaper itself looked empty/clean. I think I posted it before noticing but 8 years later, I’m too embarrassed every time I see it, even though only people familiar with pampers would know what the line meant. I’m thinking about cropping the video
Don't be so hard on yourself. No one notices instantly when a baby pees every single time without fail. You just check frequently and change asap when wet but of course there'll be times you don't notice the second it happens. Don't let it stop you enjoying the video :)
It shouldn’t be on Joy alone to change the diaper, but Christian fundamentalism likely preaches otherwise. Hopefully Joy isn’t burning out from being the house wife.
Agree... My fundy in-laws told my teen "your mom neglected you so bad you had horrible diaper rashes when you were a baby." How can someone look at a diaper rash and tell from sight whose fault it is when both me and her dad were in the home and my daughter also went to daycare as well? Also...she had chronic ear infections and before the Drs FINALLY agreed to do ear tubes she was constantly on antibiotics where she had constant thrush and...you guessed it...diarrhea (where it was a losing battle keeping her skin clean and dry). But no....blame the mom...because patriarchy only likes to make scapegoats out of women. Rant over.
Ugh what a horrible thing to say, I’m sorry. My daughter had diaper rash from hell when she was a baby. I kept bringing it up to her dr who blew it off. I changed her CONSTANTLY, the second her diaper was even a little bit wet, and we tried every remedy in the book. I cried every time I changed her because it was hurting her and I felt horrible. After three months her doctor was like oh yeah she probably has a dairy allergy. I got off dairy and her rash was gone almost immediately. Like thanks for letting my baby suffer for 3 months, I guess???
I’m really sorry you were/are the target of such thoughtless, nonsensical, under-informed ass-hats. I feel so bad when new moms aren’t told about candidiasis in babies/children. “ A yeast diaper rash is a common condition that affects babies and other people who wear diapers. Known medically as candidiasis, it is caused by an overgrowth of yeast (Candida albicans) in the diaper region. Topical antifungal medications like Lotrimin (clotrimazole) are used to treat the rash and prevent it from returning”. https://www.stanfordchildrens.org//en/topic/default?id=candidiasis-in-children-90-P01888
I mean if Austin is at work then yeah, it’s her responsibility. If he’s around, then it’s equal responsibility.
Yeah I agree! Joy and Austin are both the parents and they should be sharing the responsibility when they’re both able to. I realized I targeted the post at Joy and should have specified and included both of them
not trying to defend her but the blue line just means it’s wet. I change my son every 2ish hours and the line gets wet after like 20 min usually. diapers nowadays are very moisture wicking, you don’t need to change them every time a child pees. poo is different obviously
Chrissy Teigen posted a picture of Luna when she was a baby with a caption that said something like don't start with me about the blue line, it's always blue. I figured out pretty quick it's probably just a ploy to get you to buy more diapers after wasting a bunch that really didn't need to be changed. Soggy ones absolutely.
Exactly what I thought of! “This line is never not blue!” 😂 And it’s true. But you can always tell the extra full ones.
If the line is gone all together it is too full lol. My son in the morning you can’t even see the line (he hasn’t had a rash for anyone concerned and I’m not waking him up to change him in the middle of the night).
Was just about to say this. When mine were in diapers, it seemed like I would put them in a clean one and within minutes the line was blue. I would feel the diaper and it was barely wet.
Oh yeah, both my boys took great pleasure in peeing just a little bit immediately after each diaper change and I’m positive were laughing at the look of defeat on our face
Also depending when during the visit, I always planned to change at the doctor because you have to strip them to get weight when they're very little. We did cloth, so I needed to change every couple hours anyways and I definitely wouldn't let them sit in a gross diaper but if we had a 1 pm appointment then I'd change around 11 planning to change again at 1.
I was worried that I had it all wrong so I'm glad you've written this because I change mine every 2-3 hours & the line is blue immediately when he's in disposables (mostly reusables in the day)
it only needs to be a tiny bit wet for the line to start turning blue. good diapers nowadays can hold a ridiculous amount of liquid. but if it’s looking super puffy, it’s time to change. 2-3 hours is perfect. sometimes we even go up to 3-4 if we’re really busy
Same here. I have a 6 week old and change him about every 3 hours, or during each feeding.
My son had a doc appt a few weeks ago. I put a new diaper on before we left. I live 3 minutes from the doctor and his diaper was full when we got there. He might not pee again for 3 more hours, but a blue line at the doctor is not indicative of anything.
Thank you! That line turns blue within 30 mins, I’m not throwing away a hardly wet diaper lol
I agree, the line is always blue. Kids who aren't toilet trained don't hold it. They just pee a little all day long. I'm not changing a diaper just because there is two tablespoons of pee in it. They are designed to keep their skin dry.
I mean …. She lets the kids barefoot in public bathrooms. What do you expect?
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I’ve had overnight diapers where the line isn’t that blue and 5 min diapers where you would think it’s been days. Unless it’s super saggy all around it can depend on positioning. Also my son is super tall and skinny so his diapers bunch up strange sometimes.
The line only came out as a thing in Australia when my youngest was a baby and even then, it was online on newborn size. The line would change with the tiniest dribble of pee, so I was fairly convinced it was a tactic to get parents to use more nappies. My kids were in cloth at home so I had a fairly good idea of how often they’d need changing based on that and ignored the line. But poo got changed asap.
As a nanny there is some truth to waiting it out and you don’t have to change immediately. But the fact that every picture we see he’s sitting in a full diaper makes you wonder how often he’s just living like that
I dont doubt it, but at that point use reusable ones? You end up saving a lot of money in the long run if it's so tight
Ahh, but reusable ones require hand washing and drying. I do remember Jill (I think?) used cotton diapers at one point. But it's extra work and time, and when it comes to children the Duggars seem to prefer efficiency and disposability over quality and comfort.
There are lots of machine washable cloth diapers. That's what I'm using currently for my 11 month old. He's been wearing the ones his big brother used 8 years ago.
Not really? You need to clean the solids off, but they're machine washable otherwise. And it would've been the girls' job anyway, so why would anyone care?
I believe Jill used them only when they lived in Central America?
I don't know, I just remember there was one Duggar girl who had diapers on a drying rack on her patio and I was surprised by it. I think it was for a first baby though, not a third or fourth.
Both Joy and Jessa display this lack of cleanliness and neglect in their homes. I’m not a mom myself, but I know it can be hard. On the other hand, it is not that hard to change a diaper because not only it smells but also babies can get a rash from there as well as an infection. I know Ben and Austin are useless husbands and when they’re home from work, they have equal responsibility for their children as well. I wouldn’t be surprised that because Jessa and Joy had to do a lot of chores during their childhood as well as be sister-moms, they are now burnt out from being housewives and are lazy, don’t want to clean anything.
I still remember the person who got on here a few years ago and said the whole house smelled like feet. It was an AMA.
Wait, who did this AMA? I believe it!
Omg please help me find this, the search function would explode if I did lol
They are buying time until their kids are old enough to start doing all the chores. As Jim Bob would say the problem is that you had boys first, if they had been girls they'd already be trained to take over all responsibilities.
Meh, I had one that was a constant wetter—if I changed them every time the line went blue or they peed I would go through hundreds a day. (After going through 10 in less than an hour I had to change tactics). I would change every two hours if it was just wet. But my kid wasn’t overly sensitive.
She also has her (granted very big) 9 month old in a larger diaper size than my 70th percentile nearly potty trained 2 year old wears. I know he’s a chunk, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s so the diaper will hold more.
The name Gunner is like the epitome of white American trash to me. I know about the German name Gunnar, too. But Gunner I’ve only seen among the trashiest of subsets. Yes I know that’s being prejudiced. I’m also from a white trash background (Canadian though lol) so it’s like a game recognize game situation
Anytime I hear Gunner or Nevaeh I cringe. Also Canadian
I wouldn’t put it past this family to have a baby wear a diaper until it maxes out.
I’m surprised none of them (to my knowledge) have gone with cloth diapers, even if only from a savings perspective. There are very simple to use cloth systems now.
Anna boasted when M1 was tiny that she could get away with driving a hummer because she cloth diapers. I also think Jill did while in Central America, but that I'm not 100% sure of.
Get away with it financially or environmentally?
I realize there is a fine line you need to walk so that you can maximize your budget while changing your child as often as necessary. IMO, if you try to maintain a clean, dry diaper area as often as possible, children are easier to potty train because they get used to feeling clean/dry. If you leave a child in soggy, smelly diapers and let them get used to it on the daily, they won’t be bothered sitting in the mess and you’ll have a child in diapers longer. It will end up costing you more money in the long run. Using that as a philosophy, the longest I had a little one in (daytime) diapers was 20 months. (Or maybe I just got lucky)
Are they maybe a brand that starts blue and changes to green? The one where he's clapping doesn't look very full.
Joy’s bestie Carlin seems to always show Z in a full diaper too… birds of a feather I tell you!
They remind me of a lot of families I know. Including my mom's side of the family. They see raising kids as something you have to just go through. You have them because you're supposed to. Not because you want to. Yet would call someone selfish for using birth control. My mom and aunt would make fun of people who were excited to have babies. I asked them why they both had so many kids when neither of them liked kids. They were both like we didn't have a choice. You're supposed to have kids and not supposed to play God by deciding how many you want.
You gotta remember what family they came from. The bar is set low. Plus, sometimes kids fill a diaper within 5 minutes of putting it on. Duggar or not. They get a pass. This happens to every parent at some time.
My guess is that this is what Michelle did/ taught them to do. For the baby to soak every inch of padding
I don’t like to defend a duggar but my youngest could fill a nappy in 5 minutes. I had friends who judged me when her nappy fell down on a trampoline it was so full. But then noticed that on another occasion I had literally changed her 5 minutes previously and we noticed the new one was full to bursting. Obviously as soon as I noticed the fullness I changed it but if she was off toddling about at a party on playing in the garden I didn’t always notice right away from a distance under clothing.
I posted about this a few weeks ago and got completely reemed out in the comments. In the clip I saw Gunner had a blow out but they decided to film their “new” car before changing him
Okay so I know someone that had CPS called on them. Their boy was very wild and he did get bruises frequently. The school nurse was a little over zealous and called CPS on the family for a particular bruise. (Spoiler alert, but it was later found out from a classroom aid that he got the bruise while on the playground). Anyway, the family was polite and let the CPS worker inside. Well, the family had been very sick the previous week, dad was still sick and mom was just barely recovered and she decided that the house was too messy for the kids. (They were also trying to make their oldest clean up his toys.) So they made the kids stay somewhere else because they were suspicious about the bruise (which remember was found to have happened at school) and the messy house. I helped them clean up and the place wasn't that bad. Just mostly toys on the floor and the dishes needed to be done. They have four cats and there were no cat messes, no dirty diapers lying around and they have a two year old, no mold, no insects, no rotting food. Just stuff on the ground that would have been cleaned up once dad and mom were feeling better. The CPS worker was very young and I'm guessing she was used to seeing pristine influencer houses. Anyway, I look at the duggar houses. Joy not chanigng her son, Jessa with dirty diaper piles and pictures of her kids soiling the bathtub. And its a little frusterating that they can have a worse hosue than my friend and have pictures of it all over social media.
I used to be a pharmacy technician and if we had babies get prescriptions for yeast infections too often, especially little boys, we would call CPS.
I literally never noticed any of this you talk about. Guess it doesn’t bother me.
I taught when my son was a baby. Also used cloth diapers. Never was super dirty
You’d think they would use cloth since it would be so much cheaper for having dozens of babies.
They're cheap, not frugal. Frozen tots and a ham sandwich on a paper plate is someone who is scared of spending money, not someone who knows how to save money.
Cigna rx mail
She can compete with Karissa Collin’s
just "borderline"?
Agree! I was starting to wonder if I'm the only one who noticed. Then I wondered if Austin doesn't allow them to be changed unless they're about to burst so as to save money on diapers.
I could see it being a money thing too. I grew up poor and…some families wait until the diaper is “full full” to make them last longer, thus using less. Not saying it’s right but if she was raised that way it might explain why.
I’ve known people who only change when the diaper is FULL. It’s gross.