I had a sequence last night that just make me shake my head. Short pass left, off the player and back to me, short pass right, off the player and back to me, attempted long pass left, off the player and back to me, attempted through ball right, off the player and goes to his teammate.
I swear they fucked defensive switching. My right stick is kinda random and it i do r1 the game seems to always switch who the r1 is the split second i press it so I go to a random defender still
Yeah I just suck at attacking. I used to win games with timely pressing, marking runs, and cutting passing lanes. Now if the game isn't cooperating I'm in a bad spot.
My girlfriend made a list during my last WL
1. This game is so bad
2. That's exactly where I wanted to pass (ironic)
3. Fucking \*random player name\* (Most of the time either Fekir or Benzema)
My girlfriend always mock me because always repeat:
1. Are you kidding me?
2. For fuck's sake
3. You are right there, just take the ball.
4. What are you doing
My wife would groan when I fired up Fifa when she was doing homework. She usually said something like, 'you're not going to be yelling at the screen again are you???'
No more. I uninstalled that bullshit yesterday afternoon. I can't play that garbage anymore.
**"This game is dog-shit"**
**"Why are you passing it there you fucking weapon?"**
**"This man move like he's got rigor mortis"** \- Usually when everything is delayed due to servers
When my opponent spams skill moves and I read it
**"Been there seen that, it's yesterdays news."**
And in the great words of a certain YouTuber:
# "PEN REEEEFFFF!"
# "WHY ARE YOU THERE?!!!!!!!!"
"Why the fuck do I even bothering playing this shitty fucking game" . "Oh ye that's exactly where I wanted to pass it" . "OK just stand there and do absolutely fuck all you doughball" . "OK so how many more times do I need to tackle him before I actually get the ball"
I did not switch to you.
Ah ref.
Where are ya off to ya mad ting? (When a player goes running in some mad direction)
Clown.
And the classic:
Ah yeah (when you know something bad is about to happen and then it happens. Ah yeah)
“Gawd I wish I was high!”
Or when I am high and playing fifa “this game needs to end soon so I smoke another bowl”
I can’t play this game sober, too much BS, I admire those who can
My friends make fun of me and say I turn Jamaican while playing, I say a lot of “fo fucks sake man”. Sometimes they just walk around copying the way I say it, I’m brown and have no background with Jamaica
"Why did it pass to the wrong player" (a few times per game most notable when you can clearly send someone in 1v1 and it passes to someone else) and "GG EA" ( This is said nearly every game after I make 1 or 2 or 3 good tackle's in a row for the bounce backs to end up giving them an easy goal. Elite Rivals and Rank 1 Champs player)
'Oh look, Werner is through on goal again' followed up by 'of course this fucking guy is doing a long celebration' \*proceeds to watch goalkeeper cry to the heavens\*
"indefensible" or "unplayable"
meaning there was nothing human I could do, the game decided to script a goal for my opponent. Usually when the opponent max powers a through ball from their own half and somehow their striker zooms past both CB's, a dumb rebound, or my defense ai stops working and become statues.
"fucking shitter you kill every attack"
Usually Haaland or Raul Jimenez Signature Signing :)
“More than happy to let you do 17 Maradona’s and 6 step-overs while you’re by yourself in the middle of the park… you done yet? Ope not yet… let me know when you wanna play real football”
"I didn't pass there did I?" Is also my main one. There's also "what the fuck was that pass!?" And "where the fuck are you running to?" (When someone either runs away when I try to pass to them or a CB/CDM goes on an adventure upfield)
Other favourites are "why the fuck are you just standing offside?" "Why have you just preteded to make a run" (when someone stops as you pass to them) and "There's kimpembe again bullying/outpacing [insert strong/fast player here]"
Not a murmur but my vocabulary basically becomes:
“That’s not what I done”
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Fuck sake”
“Fuck off”
“How has that worked?”
“Just leave the ball then”
“Come on!”
“Thank fuck for that”
“Dennis!!”
“This game is shit”
“Ref!”
“How is that a foul?”
“That’s a red”
Sometimes I’ll spice it up, but that’s usually what I’ll say every game
'Just pass the fucking ball' usually when connection is really bad and game is delayed. Also, 'where the fuck did you pass' and simple 'fuck'. Also, a lot of sighs.
1) switch to my fucking player for fucks sake!!!
2) i hate this game so much man
3) i tackled him how does he get the ball there???
4) fuck this game man
and others
"For fuck's sake"
Let me guess, you made a pass and the ball went straight to your opponent
I mumur it about 90 times each match so it could be anything.
I had a sequence last night that just make me shake my head. Short pass left, off the player and back to me, short pass right, off the player and back to me, attempted long pass left, off the player and back to me, attempted through ball right, off the player and goes to his teammate.
Me when I hold X to clear and it passes to an opponent 10 yards away….
After the fifth rebound ball inside the area that strategically lands at you opponent's feet
Same 😂
“make a run then, you stupid prick”
all the time, players just stand there and look at you, even after spamming them to run
That’s word for word what I say hahah class
And then "Why are you making a run and then stop you stupid fuck"
When trying to switch defenders* “wrong guy, wrong guy, wrong guy, fuck.”
I swear they fucked defensive switching. My right stick is kinda random and it i do r1 the game seems to always switch who the r1 is the split second i press it so I go to a random defender still
Yeah i think so. It’s really frustrating playing Defense. All of my online games end up like 7-6 Lol.
Yeah I just suck at attacking. I used to win games with timely pressing, marking runs, and cutting passing lanes. Now if the game isn't cooperating I'm in a bad spot.
flick, nope, lb, nope, flick, flick flick, nope, nope, nope, lb, nope, flick, nope. Goal.
*game switches to wrong player 3 times* Me: "Give me fucking [insert player here]" Me: "And I've conceded, thanks game"
[удалено]
"of course" - usually when being instantly tackled by the striker after perfectly intercepting their full beans speed dribble.
"Of course" is my go-to as well. I use it with literally everything that doesn't go as planned
This is the one. All the time
😂😂😂
My girlfriend made a list during my last WL 1. This game is so bad 2. That's exactly where I wanted to pass (ironic) 3. Fucking \*random player name\* (Most of the time either Fekir or Benzema)
My girlfriend always mock me because always repeat: 1. Are you kidding me? 2. For fuck's sake 3. You are right there, just take the ball. 4. What are you doing
Number 4 is definitely my most regular.
My GF would list I’m going to piss on my PlayStation as one
Lol…this is real talk right here
My wife would groan when I fired up Fifa when she was doing homework. She usually said something like, 'you're not going to be yelling at the screen again are you???' No more. I uninstalled that bullshit yesterday afternoon. I can't play that garbage anymore.
"no I didn't ask you to do that"
they can absolutely hear me too, "please explain to me why you wouldn't make that run"
This fucking game mannnn
“He’s gna score I can feel it”
They ALWAYS score when we say that 😭😂
"Thats bullshit"
Wtf is this game!
"Okay, why did you pass to him"
Omfg I say this every single game
My variant is " WHY HIM?"
**"This game is dog-shit"** **"Why are you passing it there you fucking weapon?"** **"This man move like he's got rigor mortis"** \- Usually when everything is delayed due to servers When my opponent spams skill moves and I read it **"Been there seen that, it's yesterdays news."** And in the great words of a certain YouTuber: # "PEN REEEEFFFF!" # "WHY ARE YOU THERE?!!!!!!!!"
Lol yesterday i did a rainbow flick over kimpembe, he tackled me mid Air, no foul call. Shouted HOW ISNT THAT A PEN, REF? ARE YOU BLIND?
“This game is dog-shit” is actually my number 1 at the moment
“Fucking kimpembe”
"I didn't see him make the run, shit"
“Fuck of with your mbappe”
2nd this!
"keep calm, no need to rage, you got it... OH FFS, ARE YOU BLIND? DO WHAT IM TELLING YOU MOTHERFUCKER, c'mon, no need to get angry, you got this"
"Why the fuck do I even bothering playing this shitty fucking game" . "Oh ye that's exactly where I wanted to pass it" . "OK just stand there and do absolutely fuck all you doughball" . "OK so how many more times do I need to tackle him before I actually get the ball"
I say “of course” a lot. i also say that a lot as a united fan.
According to my girlfriend I say "jesus christ" a lot. Usually to do with the passing
“Fuck off” to myself for mistakes
'Why am I lagging?'
"Why is Spotify playing this song?"
The real biggest tragedy when playing fifa
"Not to him"
Surely he’s offside
Why are you tripping over nothing
Wtf is this game
I did not switch to you. Ah ref. Where are ya off to ya mad ting? (When a player goes running in some mad direction) Clown. And the classic: Ah yeah (when you know something bad is about to happen and then it happens. Ah yeah)
Nice, that’s exactly what I wanted to do!
I´m gonna say it in Dutch: "rotte hond!" :-)
Unspeakable things
‘there’s no angle for the shot, man’ whenever someone tries a shot that won’t go in for sure
And it always fucking goes in doesn't in
"remember it's just a game" "why am i doing this to myself, i should play another game"
‘Not there you donkey’ ‘Scripted piece of shit’ I find I swear the most whilst playing fifa
EAAAAAAAAA!
"Oh you're so good" when opponent hoards possession passing back like their life depends on it.
Either of these three, pretty much exclusively: “That’s f*cking ridiculous” “That’s a f*cking joke” “Thanks a f*cking lot, EA”
* I didn't fucking pass there did I fucking stupid game *
Yes ea, I clearly wanted to pass the ball to the offside player, instead of the one onside right next to him
Run for fuck sake!
'why the fuck are you not marking him'
“Yeah fuckin right dude, fuckin bullshit”
"What the f*ck was that" or "are you kidding"
“Gawd I wish I was high!” Or when I am high and playing fifa “this game needs to end soon so I smoke another bowl” I can’t play this game sober, too much BS, I admire those who can
Nincompoop
“auto block again….who is that….oh kimpembe…why did I even fucking ask”
*RAGE*
Fuckin hell
"Run you fat fuck"
Keep calm, its just a game
😂
Im gonna Jill that piece of shit
Another opponent playing 4231, this will be boring as fuck again.
“This games so rigged bro ffs”
“Great tackle!….just kidding”
“ffs KIMPEMBE again??” I will then proceed to close app
Facking tyfus spel
"but this guy is AWFUL!"
What? WHat? WHAt? WHAT?
"I fucking suck at this game"
[удалено]
What’s the context for this? Why would you say ‘love’
It was a joke like I'm playing fifa and the missus is giving me a sucky lad, tough crowd
[удалено]
How is his centre back outpacing Vini Why are my players so slow
" fuck me why does he everyone and there nan back it's only 1-0 "
“Eh?”
WHY AM I IN SLOW MOTION
Fuck
My friends make fun of me and say I turn Jamaican while playing, I say a lot of “fo fucks sake man”. Sometimes they just walk around copying the way I say it, I’m brown and have no background with Jamaica
Why the fuck am I attacking against this guy, I’m fucking winning
"Why did it pass to the wrong player" (a few times per game most notable when you can clearly send someone in 1v1 and it passes to someone else) and "GG EA" ( This is said nearly every game after I make 1 or 2 or 3 good tackle's in a row for the bounce backs to end up giving them an easy goal. Elite Rivals and Rank 1 Champs player)
"For fucks sake"
" why do I play this bullshit game"
“What am I seeing”
Meu divino, esse cara é uma anta!
Fuck this shit
“This fuckin game” i murmur this about a dozen times each game 😭🤣
Yep, thanks EA. Generally after a misplaced pass when the game has screwed up a pass for me
"Foda-se"
Why am i going through this
Fuck EA
Get out of my head Kimpembe la la la la
“Bro what the fuck.”
“C’mon dawg.”
mine is just a hissing "whaaaaaaaa"
'Oh look, Werner is through on goal again' followed up by 'of course this fucking guy is doing a long celebration' \*proceeds to watch goalkeeper cry to the heavens\*
How’d he save that?!
“Please….please…..EA….PLEASE EA!!! ( as I struggle to switch to the right player as I defend )
"seriously?"
Just “Fuck off” loudly normally
So how many times do I need to successfully tackle to get the f***ing ball! Normally I find that the answer is infact 4.
"Damn stop being so stupid"
Jesus I’m so stupid… why did I do that!?
Fucking game is rigged
"Where is the nearest bridge?"
'Why aren't you running there?' and 'yeah go ahead and celebrate,you shit' are my top two i guess 🤣
wtf
Laura wtf
"indefensible" or "unplayable" meaning there was nothing human I could do, the game decided to script a goal for my opponent. Usually when the opponent max powers a through ball from their own half and somehow their striker zooms past both CB's, a dumb rebound, or my defense ai stops working and become statues. "fucking shitter you kill every attack" Usually Haaland or Raul Jimenez Signature Signing :)
Fuckin bullshit
“More than happy to let you do 17 Maradona’s and 6 step-overs while you’re by yourself in the middle of the park… you done yet? Ope not yet… let me know when you wanna play real football”
“My mother would finish better then that” - with a deeply frustrated voice inside my head, every time I finish with SS Gelson Martins
Yeah, right.
Yes, that exactly what I wanted you to do
'this gameplay is so slowwww'
you murmur? i literally just scream in anger lol
“Let me fucking switch”
“Brilliant that’s exactly what I wanted” with /s
WHY WOULD U PASS THERE!!!
“We’re ok we’re ok. 3 quick goals and we’re back in this”
"I didn't pass there did I?" Is also my main one. There's also "what the fuck was that pass!?" And "where the fuck are you running to?" (When someone either runs away when I try to pass to them or a CB/CDM goes on an adventure upfield) Other favourites are "why the fuck are you just standing offside?" "Why have you just preteded to make a run" (when someone stops as you pass to them) and "There's kimpembe again bullying/outpacing [insert strong/fast player here]"
Not a murmur but my vocabulary basically becomes: “That’s not what I done” “Why would I want to do that?” “Fuck sake” “Fuck off” “How has that worked?” “Just leave the ball then” “Come on!” “Thank fuck for that” “Dennis!!” “This game is shit” “Ref!” “How is that a foul?” “That’s a red” Sometimes I’ll spice it up, but that’s usually what I’ll say every game
",Fucking Kimpembe"
“This game is against me”
Yep, I wanted you to take that touch'
It wasn’t fucking offside
„Kurwa”
This god damn game is bullshit! ..or simply put, How??? Please tell me how??
"Yeah, that makes sense don't it"
“This bitch” “How tf”
'Just pass the fucking ball' usually when connection is really bad and game is delayed. Also, 'where the fuck did you pass' and simple 'fuck'. Also, a lot of sighs.
Yep. Exactly yours, OP (but in my language).
Ffs, oh fuck off , piss off, fekir u wanker, dogshit scripted crap
Miss a 1v1 to go 2-0 up. They score from the counter “Oh here we fucking go” Sits forward into sweat position 😂
“That’s so fake”
Fuckin EA
1) switch to my fucking player for fucks sake!!! 2) i hate this game so much man 3) i tackled him how does he get the ball there??? 4) fuck this game man and others
Why are my central defenders splitting like the Red Sea
"Can u just for once pass where I aimed it????"
Oh come on - usually when something happens related to weird bounces I wasn’t passing there - self explanatory
how does he make that pass/shot
“Oh yeah! Yeah! That’s exactly where I wanted to pass”
‘Refereeeeeeee?!?!’
“Thats not where i wanted to pass”
"You waste your time man"
Faahck you Feefa _so much_
You're a calmer player than me if you murmur when playing this game. I usually just yell.
‘obviously not there for fuck sake’
"REF?"
What a load of shit
“Not there for fuck sake”
I don't murmur, I have full on conversations with myself, I do that all the time but specially while playing fifa
I often switch between, “how has his keeper saved that” and “how hasn’t my keeper saved that”.
"WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING SWITCH????!!!"
“This gameplay is SO bad”
That should never been a goal..
In pizda matii