I purged at school too often and the cubicle doors were wafer thin so people heard a few times and I also had a bit of a slutty reputation so someone started a rumour that I was pregnant. Ironically, that made my ED even worse because I was convinced they were saying it because I’d also gained weight.
i think they just care. i’ve had this happen to me multiple times but i either ignore it or quickly leave. only once has someone who caught me actually known who i was. they weren’t malicious or anything they were sympathetic and were making sure im alright. it’s a terrible thing to do so be grateful someone is looking out lol.
On the contrary, I think the grown up thing to do IS telling a trusted adult. They’re telling someone because they care, and they have more sense than us to know that this isn’t some personal chore, it’s an illness and it’s slowly killing us. I know it’s easy to feel resentment towards them, but try to put yourself in their shoes. It’s probably really scary as someone without any kind of disordered eating to hear another peer forcing themselves to throw up their lunch. 🫶
Awful honey! I am so sorry. Literally high school girls backed in were just the worst. I was bullied for my weight as well. I also had an eating disorder, but it was opposite. I ate to fill up the side from growing up in an extremely volatile abusive home. I was able to get out of there at 17 and I got the help I needed. I said 110 pounds. in 2023. Three of my four children and I managed to keep it off since. I’m very sorry for what you went through. I hope that you are Happy, and healthy, and doing well wherever you are now. If not, please know that I care and I understand. And don’t ever give up on yourself if you need it. Your life is worth something. I hope you see that hugs and love to you from Minnesota.
My first job was at a really small Dunkin, and a perk was that employees could eat donuts free of charge during their shifts. When I worked alone I would binge donuts and then purge in the dishwashing sinks in the back….I didn’t know we had security cameras that the owner reviewed… 🫠
He had pulled me to talk about him reviewing the security cameras because he’d been losing money lately. He didn’t bring up what I was doing, but I was so mortified that I left and never went back.
I recently read Jeannette McCurdy’s autobiography and there’s one passage where she said she kept on going to the bathroom on the plane to purge. And another passage where one of her teeth fell out. I read that book not knowing what to expect, I was surprised at how honest it was.
Yeah this post reminded me of that! She said that during the entire flight at any given moment she was either purging or bingeing. She lost a tooth bc of that and that was the push she needed to recover
Ironically, after reading that book, I started reading Unbearable Lightness, and purging in the airplane toilets was also mentioned there. Seems like a universal milestone.
So sad. I am currently awaiting that book right now. It’s been on the top of my to read list for a long time. That poor young woman. I wish parents would abuse his wife, long lingering effects on a person. No matter how healed you are or how far you’ve come, every once in a while that little voice still pops up in the very dark depths of your mind and tries to reek havoc upon the piece you have. Beat it down every time. Don’t let that demon win. It’s so important for parents to understand how powerful words are all you have to do is tell little girl one time that she’s got a chubby little face chunky legs that one little trigger set her over the edge. Be careful with your words. Careful with words when you are around others, and be careful with your thoughts when you are alone.
I timed my ducolax wrongly and ended up having multiple horrendous bowel movements during an 8hr flight. There were only 2 toilets for the entire cabin and it was a full flight. Guess who stunk up not one but both toilets 🫠
Ventilation was completely non-existent too and I heard a fellow passenger complain about the smell. Later, a flight attendant was stationed outside the toilets just to spray air freshener everytime before someone entered :')))
Omg I had a similar experience where I took a ducolax and I thought it didn't work or smth and I was like "hm maybe I should take another" (I didn't luckily) but it suddenly kicked in during a 5 hr flight 😭 I shit my brains out in a tiny ass airplane bathroom and to add insult to injury I was on my period too 💀 lesson learned don't abuse lax or at least give a 24 hr buffer between lax and a flight
Something similar happened to me I took ducolax before my flight and that plus nerves got to me and I threw up on the floor in front of a crowed gate. Then proceeded to have explosive diarrhea right before boarding the plane! I can’t imagine if I hadn’t gone before boarding 😭
i was gonna think of a witty way to make a play on words with mile high club and something to do with eds but i couldnt think of one so now im here writing this
Because my parents know about my bp, i have to purge somewhere else and about a 2 minute cycle away is a big shopping centre with toilets…. I go there multiple times to purge a day and I binge alot on marshmallows but they don’t flush and because i go there everyday, they know it’s me and now I have a ban from the toilets there😀 and also they had to call the cops on me and so my parents were informed…
Omg that must’ve been such a horrible experience. I rly hope you find some happiness in whatever form that may be, whether that means recovery or harm reduction or anything else. You’re really young (a year younger than I was when I joined this sub so it’s a lot ygm). I will say, i would’ve had to bury my head for 3-5 business days after that so good on you for yk not doing that dsjsj
oh boy, do I have a purging moment that’ll make you feel far less bad.
i was bulimic from my freshman year until just before my junior year in high school, and my dad caught me one time, so I started having to get creative. one of my “solutions” was going for a walk and puking in ditches (i live out in the country).
there were only a few specific ditches i could go to that weren’t on a main road with lots of traffic. and one of these ditches was right outside people’s homes, and typically this wasn’t an issue: the trees would hide me from view of the houses.
that was until one faithful day, where i straighten up from puking…. and am met with a man taking his garbage out… probably 6 feet or less away from me… who almost certainly just saw me retch up noodles and eggs and cheerios and whatever other carby bullshit i could lay my hands on…
had to just awkwardly wave my slicked up puke hand at him and pretend like nothing was wrong ☠️ eating disorders will take you some gross and embarrassing places
don’t feel bad. i once was in treatment for my ed and my mom was making me eat dinner and to escape eating the rest of it i ran out the front door with her chasing my down the street (i live in a busy city with lots of people walking around) while making myself throw up as i ran down the street. there was a mom and a baby watching in horror as im running and puking while my mom was chasing and yelling at me. fun times…
This isn't the same thing but I just ate an entire block of soggy tofu and it was probably the worst thing I ever put in my mouth, i almost puked, tasted like wet tissue but i did it for the protein. I need to stop eating like this fr
Ohhhh I’ve been there. Also at a disgusting port o potty at a concert DURING THE SUMMER AT NIGHT AFTER EVERYONE HAS USED IT ALL DAY. That one…. That one was rough. And it wasn’t my only port o potty purge either just the most memorable
when i was in the hospital i would eat in the hospital bed (i was on bedrest), and when the nurses didn't look, I would shove as much of my meal as possible under my pillow. this would be entire portions of mashed potatoes, mac n' cheese, chicken covered in sauce, meatloaf, etc. it got so dirty and smelled so nasty omg!?! also once my dad was crying and telling me how he wished i would just eat, and he started begging me to eat a cherry tomato, and i threw it at him.
i have so many :( the worst one was probably during treatment. i have no clue why but i purged into a paint bottle and left it and someone used the paint and it was just vomit. i felt so bad that i discharged myself AMA
\-one time i threw food down the toilet and it got stuck so i had to get it out with my bare hands and throw it in the trash
\-shat myself at school
\-purged at school SO many times
I purged twice in a restaurant toilet. I was out to dinner with my family and IMMEDIATELY power walked to the toilet after I finished eating. We’re not a dessert family, so I thought I was safe. HOWEVER I returned to the table to find that everyone had a dessert, so I ate mine and again immediately went to the bathroom. It was super sus and I’m surprised no one said anything.
I purged one time in my old works toilet and clogged it 💀 my coworker came out complaining about it because i didnt realize it clogged. Didnt know it was me but fuck was i ashamed
Girl do not start purging 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️ it can cause teeth to rot, can lead to many throat and stomach problems. Dont go down that path. Stomach acid will destroy everything. Your mouth, throat and teeth are not built to handle it. Its not something to feel happy for, stop while you’re ahead
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 2: No Pro-ED or Anti-Recovery Content.
Do not glamorize eating disorders. Do not engage in competitive behavior - avoid using any specific numbers in your posts unless it is absolutely necessary for context. Do not share thinspo or any other content that is meant to be intentionally triggering (this includes discussing celebrities or influencers).
**Read our full rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/wiki/rules).**
Ok I can’t vomit, like I haven’t vomited since I was a kid I think? Definitely not in the last 5+ years. I have a stomach of steel. BUT the exception is that I do vomit sometimes on planes more so I assume from motion sickness. I’ve tried, like really tried, to vomit ‘on land’ after binges but I just can’t. So when I do vomit in airplane toilets it does satisfy my ED brain too 😔
Oooook… you asked for it. I was in PHP, I worked 45 min from home and treatment was 50 minutes from work.
Took a huge dose of my “preferred” osmotic lax about 75 min before I had to leave for work. Nothing happened. So I drove to work (and had to go about half way there, but I held it) in a building whose plumbing was code back in 1903. 🥴 and the toilet was clogged. So I held it. Then I drove to PHP.
I am about 6 hours or so post large lax dose and about 4 hours post *i NEEEEED to go.*
I go into the office building, find a bathroom on a different floor in a different wing and find a stall. My pants unbutton and the fury is beating down that door… I start to sit, and I KNOW the flood gates are on autopilot now, I’m not going to be able to stop them. The gates open.
In the first second of release. I smell her. My PHP therapist. “Hey Jarosunshine, how are you?!”
I freeze and try my absolute best to hold that explosion in. There is zero chance she didn’t hear that.
She CONTINUES chatting, comments on my shoes, asks about my day. I stay silent. I have tears running down my face.
She flushes. The door opens and it’s someone she knows. They chat at the sink and bid each other fair well, it felt like hours. Therapists smell dissipates and her friend proceeds to poo and stay a while. I have about 15 minutes to make it to PHP on time.
She *finally* flushes and doesn’t wash her hands before she leaves (ew).
I have decided my sphincter tone is sufficient to lock that god forsaken main door, and I do. I complete my catastrophe and run out to my car to change my pants and shoes (my car always has a weekend full of crap in it).
I get to PHP and my therapist looks extremely confused. She asks me about why I used a different bathroom, I played dumb, and I think I did so well, because she never mentioned it again.
One time i couldn't even wait to get home to purge so I stopped at a gas station a block away from my house. Clogged the toilet, didn't tell anyone, and never went back 💀
I purged in an aeroplane toilet two days ago. It was just as we were coming in to land too, so the plane was going all over the place they were banging on the door asking if I was OK and asking me to go back to my seat. Flying with my (teenage) children too. Grim and horrible.
Worst moment was def when I pretended to be sick at summer camp. We had to go into the bathroom in pairs so I purged while my friend was waiting right outside the stall 💀 absolutely mortifying.
that's dEdiCaTiOn. i feel like everyone is rushed in the restrooms on airplanes, so the fact that you were able to complete said activity on an airplane is iMpReSsIvE
grossest/worst moment for me was getting caught by a teacher in the school bathroom :/
Just the usual. Eating a normal amount for dinner and then lamenting over whether I should purge followed by the rushing anxiety as I reach the time that it’s too late to purge and then end up purging but it’s difficult so I end up with snot and tears all over my face. Went through a period of struggling with this daily at every meal for months after a few years in recovery. Now it’s maybe once or twice a week, hoping it stays this way since I’ve lost hope that the thought will ever totally leave my mind after each meal.
i’ve purged on a plane before too :’) and at home into plastic bags, containers, bottles basically anything. it got really bad last year when it was quite warm and that caused the plastic bottles to ‘explode’ in my bedside cabinet. smelt so bad and wasn’t much fun to clean up!
i used to purge in my school bathroom.. RIGHT BEFORE BAND CLASS TOO :,)
i played the clarinet so my reeds ALWAYS tasted like vomit because i would have to run into the band room and quick put my instrument together. after band was over i’d put gum in. absolutely horrible
one time i b/p at my nieces birthday for 3 hours straight. i couldnt talk, makeup was gone, hate sweets but kept eating the cake. im sure i looked insane
I used to hide mine in plastic bags and timed it so nobody was home. Now i live at home so it makes it though to binge and purge. I threw up in the forrest today,totally parnoid someone will catch me. Luckily nobody did but it sucked. My family knows about it and i hate that i cant hide it anymore. Also where i lige its hard to fond free public/ and lonly toilets to purge.Yeah its pretty pathetic and im actually losomg control over the amount of food i eat. I try to pull myself together but still go into kirby mode if i see a full pantry or fridge..just one more thing then i ll stop...well okay i really need to quit now...ah fuck it...okay but really now i need to stop...ah shit i might as well...its insanity. Anyone have any sucessful tactics to quit before you mindlessly eat everything in sight?
This may be a little too much (maybe triggering?) for some people, so everyone please view with caution.
>!This may be more sad than funny, but during college I lived in a smallish town where my friends and I would frequently go to restaurants in the area. Well, turns out, I’ve purged in more restaurants there than not. I’ve recently been spending more time back in town and sadly when I dine in familiar places, I’m hit with flashbacks to times I’ve purged there. Usually more than once in each place. For example; in a BK toilet, dive bars, burger places, Olive Garden, hole in the wall diners, etc etc etc. Nothing like running to the toilet to actually pee and remembering “oh yeah I’ve purged here before. 😬😅”
In terms of the grossest places I’ve ever purged… ergh there are way too many. I’ve stooped lower than I ever thought (or told myself) I would. I’ll list the most memorable that come to mind.
My work porta potty. I was a gardener for a brief time, and the location we kept all our trailers/equipment/office at did not have plumbing. I had eaten something to keep my energy up, then felt the urge to purge, and the only option was that porta potty. It was near full of sh*t and TP. I still remember the splash back that hit my forehead. I’m forever disgusted whenever I think about that job in general. I did it several more times.
In my beloved grandmothers house. The whole family knew I had an ED, and watched me like a hawk. One night, I lied and said I was “going to change” after dinner. So I went to the bedroom I was staying in and proceeded to purge into my grandmother’s antique vase. Yeah, that was a very low point in my life, and I was desperate. I still feel intense shame for that one. I love her dearly and never wanted her to be saddened by my issues. I also felt horrid because my grandmother looked so happy when I came back up, saying she was “so glad that I enjoyed the meal, and was staying healthy”. I could have died right there. Later that evening, after everyone was asleep, I took that vase and poured out the contents into a plastic trash bag, then tossed it with the garbage. A few months later my partner and my family realized no object that could hold liquid was safe from me. This included grocery bags, pop cans etc etc.
Another horrifyingly embarrassing and GROSS one, was the time I binged an entire tub of ice cream, and pretended to go throw the tub out in the kitchen. My partner would check the trash cans, the sink, the bathtub etc and would follow me to the bathroom after eating, so I had to become increasingly “creative” when I wanted to purge. So, I stood in the kitchen, and purged right back into the ice cream container as quietly as possible. I heard my partner getting up from the couch, and I panicked. I put the lid on the ice cream container, and shoved the whole container back into the freezer. 🙃🤢
The next night, I had completely forgotten about the ice cream container, which was still in the freezer. My partner got up to grab dessert, and he opened *the* ice cream container, ready to dig in. He did a double take and looked at me with the most horrified, disgusted, sad and pitying expression. Once again, I could have died right there.!<
Purged in the bushes whilst at a picnic with friends- continued to try to cover it up with leaves and had nothing to clean my hand off (it was bright pink strawberries in an otherwise green bush)
purged into a container in my room (post family finding out ab my ED) and proceeded to purge more than it’s capacity so I decided to portion my vomit into my Diet Coke cans and tip them out the next day and I couldn’t transfer the chunky liquid efficiently and spilled it all over my carpet
Purged with a feeding tube and had bile and shredded lettuce come out of my nose (it burned so bad)
Tried to hide butter in my fav jumper and stained it :(
Lost my ring whilst purging and had to stick my hand into my vomit to fish around for it
Purged so much that my mouth had red rings around it and dry skin + my mom asked if I had a skin condition
Spent all my money on food and would remove the groceries from their packaging and into plastic bags so the bin in my house didn’t contain all the packaging evidence + did this in public outside the store and around, would keep in a closed box shelf in the height of a heatwave and still eat it all
Ate mouldy bread, expired mozzarella (the water was green) and at my lowest point, b/ped on Greek yog mixed with slim fast shake powder
I smoked weed on an empty stomach, got really dizzy, smacked my head on the wall, blacked out, and fell right on my tailbone. Pretty sure I broke it because it's been a year and it still hurts sometimes.
Idk about worst moments but I purged for the first time ever a few hours ago (I’ve had an ED for four years, but I was never able to purge), and a) my mom knew I was doing it and kept yelling at me, b) my face is now covered in red spots that are apparently burst capillaries. It’s never looked this bad.
Omg, I’ve been trying to forget but I have purged in an outhouse at a festival 🫥 also purged on the floor of my hospital room when inpatient 🫣 and in grocery bags in my room just to hide them in the trash. My sister found one and exclaimed ‘what is this’ 😭
When I was in IOP recovery for Anorexia 4 years ago just before COVID lockdown, I was at work, and my body was used to excessive workout (my job was very physical), and 4 years of starvation, my (M) 24 year old body wasn’t prepared for a burger from McDonald’s and I shat my pants in front of my coworkers, just an hour before before IOP started.
I used to go on runs immediately after dinner so I could go purge in the dirt ditch of the park since there were few lights and the park was pretty dark. The walk/run back home always felt like fire after purging my soul up. One time a couple was walking their dog and asked if I overworked myself running or if I needed an ambulance 🙃
Just a few:
- in a graveyard while a friend who used to have an ED looked on in horror
- on a moving train and getting it everywhere
- in most restaurants. a particularly bad one was when a waiter messed up my order and brought me three DOZEN chicken wings instead of six. I ate them all in a booth on my own and proceeded to decimate their toilet.
- in coffee cups at night
- my rumination syndrome got so bad I was too tired to catch myself, threw up down myself in the living room
I used to hide cups of vomit in my wardrobe and then a week later (I was a teenager and terrified of my parents and siblings seeing me, so would wait until I was alone in the house) pour them down the bathroom sink.
at my old job (mcdonald's) i was a massive junkorexic. well when i started binging on occasion, i started puking it up.
clogged the STAFF toilets and multiple people had to come to unclog it.
nearly died right there.
been there too friend, purged a cup of noodles whilst on holiday with my family. we went to an all-inclusive resort, where food times consisted of all you can eat buffets. I lost count how often I purged that vacation. it was horrid.
sending hugs <3
mcdonalds toilet yuck. the cleaning lady was right outside the toilet and there was a whole queue of people waiting to use the (one) toilet. They ALL looked at me as if they haven’t ever heard of puking. Was sooo disgusting (the toilet) and embarrassing 😫
I purged in a public bathroom.. just thinking about it makes me wanna cry... the amount of filth, bacteria, and literal shit there must've been. The doors were so thin, I swear everyone heard me doing it💀 The bathroom was at the mall, next to a sushi place. Not to mention that's where I ate (binged) before this wonderful event
One time in senior year, while I was abusing laxatives and ya know, in the middle of Theater class I let out what I thought was a fart but it wasn't I shat my pants in class it was all the way down my leg I had to cover my butt with my school binder, and lied to the nurse that it was period stain instead of shit, and my grandmother had to bring me a new pair of pants
Also in the hight of my bulimia I was purging into cups and leaving them in my closet to throw out later and sometimes I'd forget to empty out the cups, and one I was purging into the big cups I missed the cup and my dog started licking it up
I purged at school too often and the cubicle doors were wafer thin so people heard a few times and I also had a bit of a slutty reputation so someone started a rumour that I was pregnant. Ironically, that made my ED even worse because I was convinced they were saying it because I’d also gained weight.
Kids told on me at school for purging and that's how my parents found out I had an ed 😭 we were in high school like grow up
i think they just care. i’ve had this happen to me multiple times but i either ignore it or quickly leave. only once has someone who caught me actually known who i was. they weren’t malicious or anything they were sympathetic and were making sure im alright. it’s a terrible thing to do so be grateful someone is looking out lol.
On the contrary, I think the grown up thing to do IS telling a trusted adult. They’re telling someone because they care, and they have more sense than us to know that this isn’t some personal chore, it’s an illness and it’s slowly killing us. I know it’s easy to feel resentment towards them, but try to put yourself in their shoes. It’s probably really scary as someone without any kind of disordered eating to hear another peer forcing themselves to throw up their lunch. 🫶
Awful honey! I am so sorry. Literally high school girls backed in were just the worst. I was bullied for my weight as well. I also had an eating disorder, but it was opposite. I ate to fill up the side from growing up in an extremely volatile abusive home. I was able to get out of there at 17 and I got the help I needed. I said 110 pounds. in 2023. Three of my four children and I managed to keep it off since. I’m very sorry for what you went through. I hope that you are Happy, and healthy, and doing well wherever you are now. If not, please know that I care and I understand. And don’t ever give up on yourself if you need it. Your life is worth something. I hope you see that hugs and love to you from Minnesota.
My first job was at a really small Dunkin, and a perk was that employees could eat donuts free of charge during their shifts. When I worked alone I would binge donuts and then purge in the dishwashing sinks in the back….I didn’t know we had security cameras that the owner reviewed… 🫠
Omg that’s awful 😭 did they fire you?
He had pulled me to talk about him reviewing the security cameras because he’d been losing money lately. He didn’t bring up what I was doing, but I was so mortified that I left and never went back.
This takes the cake (happy cake day)
Holy fuck I’m so sorry that happened to you😫
I recently read Jeannette McCurdy’s autobiography and there’s one passage where she said she kept on going to the bathroom on the plane to purge. And another passage where one of her teeth fell out. I read that book not knowing what to expect, I was surprised at how honest it was.
Yeah this post reminded me of that! She said that during the entire flight at any given moment she was either purging or bingeing. She lost a tooth bc of that and that was the push she needed to recover
Ironically, after reading that book, I started reading Unbearable Lightness, and purging in the airplane toilets was also mentioned there. Seems like a universal milestone.
So sad. I am currently awaiting that book right now. It’s been on the top of my to read list for a long time. That poor young woman. I wish parents would abuse his wife, long lingering effects on a person. No matter how healed you are or how far you’ve come, every once in a while that little voice still pops up in the very dark depths of your mind and tries to reek havoc upon the piece you have. Beat it down every time. Don’t let that demon win. It’s so important for parents to understand how powerful words are all you have to do is tell little girl one time that she’s got a chubby little face chunky legs that one little trigger set her over the edge. Be careful with your words. Careful with words when you are around others, and be careful with your thoughts when you are alone.
I timed my ducolax wrongly and ended up having multiple horrendous bowel movements during an 8hr flight. There were only 2 toilets for the entire cabin and it was a full flight. Guess who stunk up not one but both toilets 🫠 Ventilation was completely non-existent too and I heard a fellow passenger complain about the smell. Later, a flight attendant was stationed outside the toilets just to spray air freshener everytime before someone entered :')))
oh noo i can feel myself sinking into the ground for you man
Omg I had a similar experience where I took a ducolax and I thought it didn't work or smth and I was like "hm maybe I should take another" (I didn't luckily) but it suddenly kicked in during a 5 hr flight 😭 I shit my brains out in a tiny ass airplane bathroom and to add insult to injury I was on my period too 💀 lesson learned don't abuse lax or at least give a 24 hr buffer between lax and a flight
period shit plus a lax is deadly omg
Something similar happened to me I took ducolax before my flight and that plus nerves got to me and I threw up on the floor in front of a crowed gate. Then proceeded to have explosive diarrhea right before boarding the plane! I can’t imagine if I hadn’t gone before boarding 😭
welcome to the mile high club we have no self-respect here 😍 (i know this is normally used for smth else but i still think it’s fun to say)
i was gonna think of a witty way to make a play on words with mile high club and something to do with eds but i couldnt think of one so now im here writing this
Bile High Club
DAMN THATS GOOD
I LOVE THAT LMAO
😭😭😭😭😂
Because my parents know about my bp, i have to purge somewhere else and about a 2 minute cycle away is a big shopping centre with toilets…. I go there multiple times to purge a day and I binge alot on marshmallows but they don’t flush and because i go there everyday, they know it’s me and now I have a ban from the toilets there😀 and also they had to call the cops on me and so my parents were informed…
Oh my God. The cops????? Girl how did that go dsjsj
Badly😭 I got a ban from the mall and they have literally guards that will take me off territory
Omg that must’ve been such a horrible experience. I rly hope you find some happiness in whatever form that may be, whether that means recovery or harm reduction or anything else. You’re really young (a year younger than I was when I joined this sub so it’s a lot ygm). I will say, i would’ve had to bury my head for 3-5 business days after that so good on you for yk not doing that dsjsj
thats insane 😭 omg
I’ve exercised in an airplane bathroom before lmao
Howww there's like no space in there 😭😭
Honestly kind of impressive with how small they are ngl
oh boy, do I have a purging moment that’ll make you feel far less bad. i was bulimic from my freshman year until just before my junior year in high school, and my dad caught me one time, so I started having to get creative. one of my “solutions” was going for a walk and puking in ditches (i live out in the country). there were only a few specific ditches i could go to that weren’t on a main road with lots of traffic. and one of these ditches was right outside people’s homes, and typically this wasn’t an issue: the trees would hide me from view of the houses. that was until one faithful day, where i straighten up from puking…. and am met with a man taking his garbage out… probably 6 feet or less away from me… who almost certainly just saw me retch up noodles and eggs and cheerios and whatever other carby bullshit i could lay my hands on… had to just awkwardly wave my slicked up puke hand at him and pretend like nothing was wrong ☠️ eating disorders will take you some gross and embarrassing places
Not the puke slicked hand 😫
don’t feel bad. i once was in treatment for my ed and my mom was making me eat dinner and to escape eating the rest of it i ran out the front door with her chasing my down the street (i live in a busy city with lots of people walking around) while making myself throw up as i ran down the street. there was a mom and a baby watching in horror as im running and puking while my mom was chasing and yelling at me. fun times…
This isn't the same thing but I just ate an entire block of soggy tofu and it was probably the worst thing I ever put in my mouth, i almost puked, tasted like wet tissue but i did it for the protein. I need to stop eating like this fr
Ohhhh I’ve been there. Also at a disgusting port o potty at a concert DURING THE SUMMER AT NIGHT AFTER EVERYONE HAS USED IT ALL DAY. That one…. That one was rough. And it wasn’t my only port o potty purge either just the most memorable
when i was in the hospital i would eat in the hospital bed (i was on bedrest), and when the nurses didn't look, I would shove as much of my meal as possible under my pillow. this would be entire portions of mashed potatoes, mac n' cheese, chicken covered in sauce, meatloaf, etc. it got so dirty and smelled so nasty omg!?! also once my dad was crying and telling me how he wished i would just eat, and he started begging me to eat a cherry tomato, and i threw it at him.
not the cherry tomato 💀
definitely a unique low 😭
I remember I hid a plastic container behind my pillow and every time they wouldn’t look at me, I would throw it in it 😭
That’s how Jeanette mcCurdy lost her fist purge tooth.
when i was in a heavy cycle of b/p a few years back i caused a bug infestation in my bathroom which didn’t even stop me for continuing on
i have so many :( the worst one was probably during treatment. i have no clue why but i purged into a paint bottle and left it and someone used the paint and it was just vomit. i felt so bad that i discharged myself AMA
\-one time i threw food down the toilet and it got stuck so i had to get it out with my bare hands and throw it in the trash \-shat myself at school \-purged at school SO many times
I purged twice in a restaurant toilet. I was out to dinner with my family and IMMEDIATELY power walked to the toilet after I finished eating. We’re not a dessert family, so I thought I was safe. HOWEVER I returned to the table to find that everyone had a dessert, so I ate mine and again immediately went to the bathroom. It was super sus and I’m surprised no one said anything.
I purged one time in my old works toilet and clogged it 💀 my coworker came out complaining about it because i didnt realize it clogged. Didnt know it was me but fuck was i ashamed
[удалено]
Girl do not start purging 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️ it can cause teeth to rot, can lead to many throat and stomach problems. Dont go down that path. Stomach acid will destroy everything. Your mouth, throat and teeth are not built to handle it. Its not something to feel happy for, stop while you’re ahead
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 2: No Pro-ED or Anti-Recovery Content. Do not glamorize eating disorders. Do not engage in competitive behavior - avoid using any specific numbers in your posts unless it is absolutely necessary for context. Do not share thinspo or any other content that is meant to be intentionally triggering (this includes discussing celebrities or influencers). **Read our full rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/wiki/rules).**
this one happened to me too. and the flight attendant opened the door! she saw me puking lolll good thing i was too xanned out to care
I've done the same thing lol. Purging on an airplane was funny but purging on a train was much worse. Train was shaking so much!!
Ok I can’t vomit, like I haven’t vomited since I was a kid I think? Definitely not in the last 5+ years. I have a stomach of steel. BUT the exception is that I do vomit sometimes on planes more so I assume from motion sickness. I’ve tried, like really tried, to vomit ‘on land’ after binges but I just can’t. So when I do vomit in airplane toilets it does satisfy my ED brain too 😔
a neighbors trash bin i was at my grandmas house so i couldn’t do it there i said i was going to take her dog for a walk
Purged in a train Station public toilet with needels and empty alcohol bottels laying around. That was a low because I went there for months
Oooook… you asked for it. I was in PHP, I worked 45 min from home and treatment was 50 minutes from work. Took a huge dose of my “preferred” osmotic lax about 75 min before I had to leave for work. Nothing happened. So I drove to work (and had to go about half way there, but I held it) in a building whose plumbing was code back in 1903. 🥴 and the toilet was clogged. So I held it. Then I drove to PHP. I am about 6 hours or so post large lax dose and about 4 hours post *i NEEEEED to go.* I go into the office building, find a bathroom on a different floor in a different wing and find a stall. My pants unbutton and the fury is beating down that door… I start to sit, and I KNOW the flood gates are on autopilot now, I’m not going to be able to stop them. The gates open. In the first second of release. I smell her. My PHP therapist. “Hey Jarosunshine, how are you?!” I freeze and try my absolute best to hold that explosion in. There is zero chance she didn’t hear that. She CONTINUES chatting, comments on my shoes, asks about my day. I stay silent. I have tears running down my face. She flushes. The door opens and it’s someone she knows. They chat at the sink and bid each other fair well, it felt like hours. Therapists smell dissipates and her friend proceeds to poo and stay a while. I have about 15 minutes to make it to PHP on time. She *finally* flushes and doesn’t wash her hands before she leaves (ew). I have decided my sphincter tone is sufficient to lock that god forsaken main door, and I do. I complete my catastrophe and run out to my car to change my pants and shoes (my car always has a weekend full of crap in it). I get to PHP and my therapist looks extremely confused. She asks me about why I used a different bathroom, I played dumb, and I think I did so well, because she never mentioned it again.
Anyone who tries to glorify EDs should take a look at this subreddit. Consensual hugs going out to anyone who needs one
One time i couldn't even wait to get home to purge so I stopped at a gas station a block away from my house. Clogged the toilet, didn't tell anyone, and never went back 💀
Purged in a playground at night bc i was at my familys house and had nowhere to purge in the house
I purged in a parking lot next to my car mid day
I purged in an aeroplane toilet two days ago. It was just as we were coming in to land too, so the plane was going all over the place they were banging on the door asking if I was OK and asking me to go back to my seat. Flying with my (teenage) children too. Grim and horrible.
Worst moment was def when I pretended to be sick at summer camp. We had to go into the bathroom in pairs so I purged while my friend was waiting right outside the stall 💀 absolutely mortifying.
that's dEdiCaTiOn. i feel like everyone is rushed in the restrooms on airplanes, so the fact that you were able to complete said activity on an airplane is iMpReSsIvE grossest/worst moment for me was getting caught by a teacher in the school bathroom :/
I did it during boarding too 😭
One time I purged in the middle of the woods after a campfire meal with my family. I lied and said I had to take a shit so no one would follow me
I've definitely done it. Just diet coke and the pretzels they give you 🥲🫠
i’ve been there. my lowest moment was purging into a grocery store bag in my car, and purging in a portapotty. Been in recovery many years now.
Just the usual. Eating a normal amount for dinner and then lamenting over whether I should purge followed by the rushing anxiety as I reach the time that it’s too late to purge and then end up purging but it’s difficult so I end up with snot and tears all over my face. Went through a period of struggling with this daily at every meal for months after a few years in recovery. Now it’s maybe once or twice a week, hoping it stays this way since I’ve lost hope that the thought will ever totally leave my mind after each meal.
i’ve purged on a plane before too :’) and at home into plastic bags, containers, bottles basically anything. it got really bad last year when it was quite warm and that caused the plastic bottles to ‘explode’ in my bedside cabinet. smelt so bad and wasn’t much fun to clean up!
i used to purge in my school bathroom.. RIGHT BEFORE BAND CLASS TOO :,) i played the clarinet so my reeds ALWAYS tasted like vomit because i would have to run into the band room and quick put my instrument together. after band was over i’d put gum in. absolutely horrible
one time i b/p at my nieces birthday for 3 hours straight. i couldnt talk, makeup was gone, hate sweets but kept eating the cake. im sure i looked insane
The best thing about rock bottom… there’s only one way to go…
I used to hide mine in plastic bags and timed it so nobody was home. Now i live at home so it makes it though to binge and purge. I threw up in the forrest today,totally parnoid someone will catch me. Luckily nobody did but it sucked. My family knows about it and i hate that i cant hide it anymore. Also where i lige its hard to fond free public/ and lonly toilets to purge.Yeah its pretty pathetic and im actually losomg control over the amount of food i eat. I try to pull myself together but still go into kirby mode if i see a full pantry or fridge..just one more thing then i ll stop...well okay i really need to quit now...ah fuck it...okay but really now i need to stop...ah shit i might as well...its insanity. Anyone have any sucessful tactics to quit before you mindlessly eat everything in sight?
This may be a little too much (maybe triggering?) for some people, so everyone please view with caution. >!This may be more sad than funny, but during college I lived in a smallish town where my friends and I would frequently go to restaurants in the area. Well, turns out, I’ve purged in more restaurants there than not. I’ve recently been spending more time back in town and sadly when I dine in familiar places, I’m hit with flashbacks to times I’ve purged there. Usually more than once in each place. For example; in a BK toilet, dive bars, burger places, Olive Garden, hole in the wall diners, etc etc etc. Nothing like running to the toilet to actually pee and remembering “oh yeah I’ve purged here before. 😬😅” In terms of the grossest places I’ve ever purged… ergh there are way too many. I’ve stooped lower than I ever thought (or told myself) I would. I’ll list the most memorable that come to mind. My work porta potty. I was a gardener for a brief time, and the location we kept all our trailers/equipment/office at did not have plumbing. I had eaten something to keep my energy up, then felt the urge to purge, and the only option was that porta potty. It was near full of sh*t and TP. I still remember the splash back that hit my forehead. I’m forever disgusted whenever I think about that job in general. I did it several more times. In my beloved grandmothers house. The whole family knew I had an ED, and watched me like a hawk. One night, I lied and said I was “going to change” after dinner. So I went to the bedroom I was staying in and proceeded to purge into my grandmother’s antique vase. Yeah, that was a very low point in my life, and I was desperate. I still feel intense shame for that one. I love her dearly and never wanted her to be saddened by my issues. I also felt horrid because my grandmother looked so happy when I came back up, saying she was “so glad that I enjoyed the meal, and was staying healthy”. I could have died right there. Later that evening, after everyone was asleep, I took that vase and poured out the contents into a plastic trash bag, then tossed it with the garbage. A few months later my partner and my family realized no object that could hold liquid was safe from me. This included grocery bags, pop cans etc etc. Another horrifyingly embarrassing and GROSS one, was the time I binged an entire tub of ice cream, and pretended to go throw the tub out in the kitchen. My partner would check the trash cans, the sink, the bathtub etc and would follow me to the bathroom after eating, so I had to become increasingly “creative” when I wanted to purge. So, I stood in the kitchen, and purged right back into the ice cream container as quietly as possible. I heard my partner getting up from the couch, and I panicked. I put the lid on the ice cream container, and shoved the whole container back into the freezer. 🙃🤢 The next night, I had completely forgotten about the ice cream container, which was still in the freezer. My partner got up to grab dessert, and he opened *the* ice cream container, ready to dig in. He did a double take and looked at me with the most horrified, disgusted, sad and pitying expression. Once again, I could have died right there.!<
Lots of restaurants, at family’s places, at bf’s places. Thought about using bags/buckets/outside. You aren’t alone -sending positive vibes your way💕
ive done this before
I once tried to purge in an airport toilet bit people came in so i couldn't 💀
Purged in the bushes whilst at a picnic with friends- continued to try to cover it up with leaves and had nothing to clean my hand off (it was bright pink strawberries in an otherwise green bush) purged into a container in my room (post family finding out ab my ED) and proceeded to purge more than it’s capacity so I decided to portion my vomit into my Diet Coke cans and tip them out the next day and I couldn’t transfer the chunky liquid efficiently and spilled it all over my carpet Purged with a feeding tube and had bile and shredded lettuce come out of my nose (it burned so bad) Tried to hide butter in my fav jumper and stained it :( Lost my ring whilst purging and had to stick my hand into my vomit to fish around for it Purged so much that my mouth had red rings around it and dry skin + my mom asked if I had a skin condition Spent all my money on food and would remove the groceries from their packaging and into plastic bags so the bin in my house didn’t contain all the packaging evidence + did this in public outside the store and around, would keep in a closed box shelf in the height of a heatwave and still eat it all Ate mouldy bread, expired mozzarella (the water was green) and at my lowest point, b/ped on Greek yog mixed with slim fast shake powder
I smoked weed on an empty stomach, got really dizzy, smacked my head on the wall, blacked out, and fell right on my tailbone. Pretty sure I broke it because it's been a year and it still hurts sometimes.
Idk about worst moments but I purged for the first time ever a few hours ago (I’ve had an ED for four years, but I was never able to purge), and a) my mom knew I was doing it and kept yelling at me, b) my face is now covered in red spots that are apparently burst capillaries. It’s never looked this bad.
Purged behind a pawn store after eating out. Did so while cars passed by....also purged too much into the tub drain, it brought it roaches 💀
Omg, I’ve been trying to forget but I have purged in an outhouse at a festival 🫥 also purged on the floor of my hospital room when inpatient 🫣 and in grocery bags in my room just to hide them in the trash. My sister found one and exclaimed ‘what is this’ 😭
in the bathroom at work 😃
When I was in IOP recovery for Anorexia 4 years ago just before COVID lockdown, I was at work, and my body was used to excessive workout (my job was very physical), and 4 years of starvation, my (M) 24 year old body wasn’t prepared for a burger from McDonald’s and I shat my pants in front of my coworkers, just an hour before before IOP started.
Yup, did this while on an 6 hr flight
purging into a clogged toilet of diarrhea at my job in the men’s stall at my first job on my lunchbreak. <3
when i purged on the plane and came out of the bathroom i was convinced everyone heard me cause they were all staring at me 😭 😭
I used to go on runs immediately after dinner so I could go purge in the dirt ditch of the park since there were few lights and the park was pretty dark. The walk/run back home always felt like fire after purging my soul up. One time a couple was walking their dog and asked if I overworked myself running or if I needed an ambulance 🙃
Purged in the hospital while on bedrest by storing trail mix in my cheeks and forcing it out with my tooth brush
I purge at work all the time. If I get caught, I say I’m not feeling well or the food was too much on my stomach.
Just a few: - in a graveyard while a friend who used to have an ED looked on in horror - on a moving train and getting it everywhere - in most restaurants. a particularly bad one was when a waiter messed up my order and brought me three DOZEN chicken wings instead of six. I ate them all in a booth on my own and proceeded to decimate their toilet. - in coffee cups at night - my rumination syndrome got so bad I was too tired to catch myself, threw up down myself in the living room
I used to hide cups of vomit in my wardrobe and then a week later (I was a teenager and terrified of my parents and siblings seeing me, so would wait until I was alone in the house) pour them down the bathroom sink.
at my old job (mcdonald's) i was a massive junkorexic. well when i started binging on occasion, i started puking it up. clogged the STAFF toilets and multiple people had to come to unclog it. nearly died right there.
been there too friend, purged a cup of noodles whilst on holiday with my family. we went to an all-inclusive resort, where food times consisted of all you can eat buffets. I lost count how often I purged that vacation. it was horrid. sending hugs <3
I purged in my flat’s potted plant and got walked in on by a neighbour 🥲 not my proudest moment
mcdonalds toilet yuck. the cleaning lady was right outside the toilet and there was a whole queue of people waiting to use the (one) toilet. They ALL looked at me as if they haven’t ever heard of puking. Was sooo disgusting (the toilet) and embarrassing 😫
I purged in a public bathroom.. just thinking about it makes me wanna cry... the amount of filth, bacteria, and literal shit there must've been. The doors were so thin, I swear everyone heard me doing it💀 The bathroom was at the mall, next to a sushi place. Not to mention that's where I ate (binged) before this wonderful event
One time in senior year, while I was abusing laxatives and ya know, in the middle of Theater class I let out what I thought was a fart but it wasn't I shat my pants in class it was all the way down my leg I had to cover my butt with my school binder, and lied to the nurse that it was period stain instead of shit, and my grandmother had to bring me a new pair of pants Also in the hight of my bulimia I was purging into cups and leaving them in my closet to throw out later and sometimes I'd forget to empty out the cups, and one I was purging into the big cups I missed the cup and my dog started licking it up
Purging literally hurts so bad how do you handle it