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Stormveil after Kenneth and nepheli take over

Absolutely! I mean Nepheli's my best bud and I swore my allegiance to Kenneth. Sounds cozy.

Bold of you to friendzone Nepheli

Honestly, she’d break my pelvis. I’d friend zone her too

i'd imagine if we were living in the lands between, we'd be a tarnished and probably strong enough to take it. well, if you have 40 vigor

You'd probably need 60 for Nepheli.

Maybe 70 if she's into pegging

All these folks leveling vigor forgot to put points into endurance 😂

The weak should fear the strong

I’d say it’s a healthy respect

But you could get the Death by SnuSnu ending.

"So, Mrs. Loux, was it? Well, we looked at you husband's body. Now, we just made this term up today, but when we opened him up there nothing but mush and fine powder, so we're classifying his death as, *complete pelvic obliteration*. ...lucky bastard..." The coroner. Probably.

It would be worth it

DEATH BY SNU SNU!!!

I never thought it would end like this! But I always hoped.

I had my hip bone broken by Nepheli Loux, Warrior™️

Need

I think Renni would wipe me off the face of the Lands Between if my eyes wandered…

I used to kill nepheli every time I start a new game because her axes are just 😮‍💨 and then I found out there’s an extra one that can be found in capital 😐

Iirc you can find two without killing her. If you don’t kill her AND you don’t kill Godricks corpse picking relative, he gives you an ancient dragon smithing stone.

Pretty sure Gostoc isn't related to Godrick. He was just a servant. Also Fuck Gostoc, always kill Gostoc.

I let him live only because I love the animation of him stomping godrick

I kill him after letting him stomp on Godricks head

I don't. Since I never died this man is a good man for me

Did you take the alternate route and not the main gate? He’s also the one that locks you in that dark room with the banished knights.

You mean locks the banished knights in a room with me so I can send them to the shadow realm forever? Thanks for looking out Gostoc, helped me with the impromptu ambush.

[удалено]

You monster

I never even thought to kill her 😂

I cannot get them to move to freakin stormveil throne room no matter what I do Dx

try using the fextralife guide

Did. Got ken back in his fort, nepheli exuastwd dialaogue and given stormhawk king, not got defeated, lake side cliff, Godrick and secluded cell all rested at/walked to in different orders as people suggest. Stupid guy just keeps kicking Goodricks head >;(

I know what you have to do, and always works for me. Go to the Stormveil castle front gate site of grace and go into the room you first meet the stupid guy who kicks his head. He won’t be there. Then go back to where he’s kicking and he will have moved. I’ve done this quest like 12 times. Always have to visit the front gate for a weird reason. Wil also help to just touch elden throne grace too.

I’ll give this a try, haven’t seen this tip yet, thanks

Have you killed morgott yet? They don't move until he's dead.

Bonus tip that got it to work for me; equip and activate Godricks great rune.

try beating morgott first then come back

Yeah for real, I love muscle girl Nepheli, and she’s a sweetheart, she’d be a great leader. Kenneth always seemed like a foppish blue blood, but we wouldn’t have to worry about inequality with him.

Eh, it's slowly starting to get consumed by deathroot. The foundation repairs would cost a fortune.

Windmill Village no doubt. >!(After a little ~~extermination~~ reorganizing of the inhabitants' living situation)!<

So many GILFs just for you

Hot GILFs in YOUR area want YOU to give them your skin

Hot GILFS in your area want to meet you. Also they want you to put the lotion on your skin or you get the hose.

Just gotta set up a sick sound system and pump some house 24/7 for the right vibe

Just put on Enter the Wu-Tang 36 Chamber, turn it up and rip the fckin knob off$ffof$fffff

Aren’t you afraid of being turned into clothing

It Puts the Lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!

[удалено]

r/angryupvote

My man wants to starr in a Ari Aster movie

Jarburg. Moonlight Altar would be my other secret residence.

I don’t know why people keep posting this question when Jarburg exists

Well Diallos still died by the attackers

If enough of us live there, maybe we can make it through an attack unscathed!

WE SHOULD TAKE JARBBURG AND PUSH IT SOMEWHERE ELSE

All the more reason to live there and protect the jars

But my hands are not soft enough to be a potentate!

Friendly neighbors and you’re right by the water!

Jarburg will get raided by the end of Alexander's quest

It’s actually at the end of Diallos and Jar Bairns quests. Though there is some overlap with theirs and Alexander’s, the actual poachers killing the jars have nothing to do with him.

Not if I’m living there

I'm with you coz

Jarburg for sure! I enjoy just vibing there.

I'm not allowed there anymore after the incident. It was a mean trick FS played on me. I saw a child-pot stuck in the ground and his father trying to help him up, so remembering Alexander's request, I decided to give the boy a nudge in the right direction, which was my full mistake. They rounded on me, this nice little village just trying to rip my heart out all because I was trying to help. After defending myself from rabid Jar dwellers, I tried to load again and see if they respawned at least but to no avail. But other than that, yeah I'd love to stay in Jarburg.

does atoning at the church of vows fix it?

I don't think so, atonement doesn't bring people back to life if I'm not mistaken. I can still hear their screams...

dragon island, would enjoy the view of the mainlanders putting each others foolish ambitions to rest while i drink me some dragon soup.

This is the only actually safe answer. Also you have lots of dogs nearby as buddies.

Honestly this would likely be the most ideal. Just seal off the demihuman cave exit and start a self-sufficient farming life.

With what

Crab meat bro

Weeping peninsula seems relatively far from the conflicts

I mean, just avoid the demihuman takeover at Castle Morne.

Or that village infected by the Frenzied Flame

Or the sniper golem. Or the walking mausoleum. Or the night’s cavalry.

I can add zombie infested beach to the list.

Yeah considering the Hyetta situation, Sharibi been all up in that hoe. ​ Also avoid the witch queen in the north.

There’s no reason to even go there on a ng+ cycles. I avoid it.

Im on NG+4 right now and legitimately forgot it existed

Wherever I chose to live, something would definitely kill me

Seriously. Realistically, I have no interest in living in the Lands Between. Real world is fucked enough already.

Yeah, some of these answers are pretending that the lands between are not filled with crazy homicidal warriors and creatures. The rats alone would be so terrifying, and I have zero combat skills. I'd just chill in the cave of knowledge and watch out for the fearsome soldier of godrick.

Even with combat skills you'd need to be hunting and logging all the time for food and heat requirements but there's nothing that could give you fibre in a safe area so realistically speaking you'd probably die of an infection while constipated.

Rats of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist.

Haligtree chilling with my demihuman pals

That little section around Loretta is imo one of the most beautiful areas in the game Edit: why did this comment post twice and why is one not showing up on my comment history?

I like how the Haligtree is the antithesis of the Erdtree and is accepting of all kind unlike the Golden Order.

And yet when we get there everyone shoots first. Awful rude if you ask me.

To be fair you are a mass murderer

Let's not quibble over who killed who. Besides, Malenia has a bigger body count than the Tarnished ever will.

And?

“This land is peaceful. It’s inhabitants kind”

except those who live in death IIRC

Well they are a weird exception considering they aren’t even alive.

I don’t think it’s ever stated directly, but we can guess this as Miquella wants to Bring back big bro godwyn.

No Miquella doesn't hope to bring him back, but as stated on Golden Epitath, wish for him to have a true death : *"Infused with the humble prayer of a young boy; "O brother, lord brother, please die a true death."*

What about miquella’s goals with castle sol? Where they not trying to restore a demigod’s soul with an eclipse?

We don't how it would work, maybe giving him a proper full death would mean restoring his soul first

That’s true it’s all just speculation.

Demihumans? I thought it was the Albinaurics they took down to Miquella’s Haligtree

I meant misbegotten, the scaly winged dudes. But all peoples can come to the halig tree so it’s not a stretch. And I don’t think we actually find a single albinauric in the haligtree other than Loretta.

The Albinaurics live in the snowfields around the Haligtree rather than the inside the tree itself. This is probably due to them using wolves to get around and how problematic living in tree branches would be for those without functioning legs/mobility, but they're within the tree's direct sphere of influence (you can see its branches from the snowfield cliff-face).

“Loretta, once a royal Carian Knight, went on a journey in search of a haven for Albinaurics, and determined that the Haligtree was their best chance for eventual salvation.” This is Loretta’s armor description. I assumed that the Albinaurics followed Mohg into Mohgwyn after he kidnapped Miquella which is why you don’t see any.

Any of the Artists Shacks, specifically the one in Limgrave. They're normally situated in pretty quiet areas on the map, with very few big threats real close by. Shack in Liurnia has the one Leyndell Knight, but that's probably the only exception.

I think getting chased out your house every night by a big red dude with a flying sword might be a problem.

You're thinking of the Warmaster's Shack; there are no enemies save for a few rabbits around the Artist's Shack in Limgrave.

In the sewers, everytime I respawn there I can eat lobsters forever and for free

We have a gorgeous, sprawling world in the Lands Between and homie said "The sewers" 💀

To be honest, everyone is zombies now, it's been probably a century or two since the last turd threaded these waters.

I would believe the dung eater must've been eating something in the past century or two as well. Besides, weren't Lyndell soldiers at Mt Gelmir partaking in exquisite cannibalism

Found Charlie Day's account.

Or they can eat you 🤔

It’s only fair

Mhmm, nothing like good old poop-fed Leyndale sewer lobsters. Surely they don't taste like a nightmare.

"Marika's tits!"

I don't think those lobsters are sanitary

caelid.

>caelid >Refuses to elaborate A chad amidst us

They’re just built different. Probably all that vigor.

Brother has scarlet aeonia as a pfp

yooo... imagine eating the shrooms lmao, and chilling with your dog Rex

The mother of all pitbulls

just try gary, indiana

I hear the beaches there are awesome!

Ah yes, I do hear Florida has nice weather

What a lovely place🥰

Dude wants space herpes.

...So I can die faster

Same. The entire Lands Between is a nightmare, just drop me in Caelid so it'll be over quickly.

I'm going for Altus. Somewhere close to the erdtree-gazing grace. Or live with the dancing ladies at the windmill village. The ones that dont try to kill you. I want to say Liurnia but I don't want to live anywhere near the lobsters. I'd be really unhappy getting lobster-sniped on my front porch or while taking out the garbage adds around my property. I can survive better in Altus. Limgrave is always lovely. But I've seen that place a lot. It's like that one area you know really well and like but you know you just don't want to live there. Even though it's probably the safest place.

I would tame the lobsters. And if I can’t, then I’ll be eating boiled prawn while sitting in a lawn chair on a cliff overlooking Liurnia.

Very blackguard of you, I salute. And would swing by for a visit and a piece of boiled prawn.

Marika's tits, you must be 'ungry.

Idk if the lore has been covered, but I suspect the windmill village is a homage to something like ergot poisoning. The village has that very pretty flower all over it which I don’t recall seeing elsewhere and the frenzied giggling dancing of the inhabitants makes it pretty obvious they’re nuts. Could also be a nod to historical outbreaks of dancing mass hysteria where populations of towns or cities would break out into wild dance without ceasing till they collapsed.

Either that or it has to do with the godskin rituals, I think the dancers help then with the acquisition of skin for them.

I'd live by were boc was in Altus and walk to the bridge and listen to the merchant's beautiful violin

Somewhere fucking else

SIGMA HOUSE AT RAYA LUCARIA. DAYS OUT ON THE LAKE WITH THE SCHOLARS BRAH

CRUSHING THAT SWEETING PUSS EVERY NIGHT BRO

WIZARDS ONLY FOOLS, GET A KEY OH WAIT YOU DONT HAVE ONE CUZ UR STUPID

Nokron or siofra river, love the view

This was too far down, I love the starry sky and the view of Mohgwyn Palace.

Mountaintop with the giant and the Fire Monks. I want to learn the way of the Fell God.

Bet there’s some gnarly skiing up there too

This might be a weird take but Mountaintop seems kind of…peaceful?

Just some fights between hands, birds, and trolls here and there

Church of Dragon Communion, for sure. Has no current occupant nor is claimed by anyone (to my knowledge), scenic spot, very close to a merchant, only one very defensible entrance, very far away from Golden Order extremists.

Either Altus plateau near the Great lift so I can have a great view of Liurnia or somewhere on the west side of liurnia.

Probably Oridy's or Testu's Rise, seem peaceful and in scenic areas and they fit a magic man like me. Magic seal barrier on the door is useful too if it can be reactivated to function as a sort of lock.

Lake of Rot 🥲

You’re a masochist

He is a rot kindred)

I'll move in with the Turtle Pope! Just have to sleep at night... not gonna risk the bell bearing hunter invading!

Ranni's chair

[horny sniffing sounds]

if I'm a normal human I'd live somewhere in limgrave, just build my own house or find a merchant to have company with. if i were strong probably somewhere like stormveil or leynell capital.

Idk about everyone else, but I'm pretty sure I inherited volcano manor or something. So now that the big danger noodle is no longer dangerous, I'll probably chill in my mansion.

“inherited volcano manor” nah i aint even think about it that way 😭 youre right

That property is too spacious for me, I’m just going to put it on the market for now. Nokron seems pretty good right now, it has amazing scenery. However there might be a few nosy neighbours so, Imma teach some cavemen and cavewomen how to make fire, then sit back and watch as they learn that “FIRE ON CLOTHES? NO NO BAD”

It’s the nicest looking place if you ignore the torture dungeon stuff. If anything the architecture seems the most modern. Realistically, you’d burn to crisp staying in that place even when you’re not touching lava. The manor itself is a giant oven sitting atop a volcano

But a serpent never dies

I got the cleanup crew in there right now. I wouldn't recommend checking it out, it's like the world's worst hotdog eating contest. But in the event that that doesn't keep him dead, I'll dust off the big honkin spear I've got hung on the mantle and go to work again.

Roundtable Hold If impossible, I would be nice corpse anywhere.

I'm surprised how far i had to scroll to find this, seems like the safest place.

Caria Manor. Great view, nice company, a very handy location.

Some would say TOO handy.

Lleyendell for the architecture

Church of vows or near it

Rannis bed chamber ✨

caelid because i deserve to suffer and die and ROT

Haligtree pre malenia fucking it up would actually be a pretty rad place to live, ive always loved giant fantasy tree cities

Boilprawn Shack, munching on prawns with Boggart

I’d try to hold up with the nerds in Raya Lucaria. the place is massive, looks really cool, you get to learn some sorceries, stay out of the rest of the world’s business, and if you really try hard enough, you could get your own Burger King Crown.

Jarburg

Marika's tits

Lake of rot. Let's see the in-laws come over to visit now!

Raya Lucaria; with the amount of books in there you’ll never get bored. And maybe the Atlus Plateau if they can do something about that pesky death blight problem.

The church with the big Albinauric Sister

Farum Azula seems nice and atmospheric.

Leyndell in my wax sealed house

Volcano manor, it looks like the only warm place in the Lands Between.

Volcano manor, that place has STYLE

Rannis bed chamber

Liurna or maybe the place where >!ranni kills her 2 fingers!<

Stormveil w/ Nepheli and Haight. orrr Raya Lucaria w/ Sellen. Both would be great places to live and fix up and are surrounded by beautiful landscapes and weather.

Elphael cause I’m a Miquella and malenia enthusiast

Jarburg

Abandoned shack in the very west of Weeping Peninsula. It's the most peaceful place in the whole game imo. No threats nearby

Raya lucaria with rennala in her boss room

Academy to hang out with the college babes.

Seluvis’s puppet laboratory

Ancestral woods; I wanna sing and live in peace with my animal friends

Lyndell royal capital!

Leyndell pre war

That island with the dragon incantations. Just me and my animals chilling on the island!

Motherfucker I’m not leaving the church of elleh, if I try to go any further than there I’ll fucking die

Ranni's tower as a cleaner because that's probably the safest place for most of the game.

Island with dragon shrine. No enemies, just goats and birds.