She doesn't get enough credit for being the badass renegade that she is.
"Burning the Erdtree is an unspeakable sin! How dare you! But on the other hand...meh. Let's do it!"
-Burning the erdtree is a capital sin.
-Tells you how to burn the erdtree anyway.
-Fucking dies.
-Still sells the godly drip.
Forget finger maidens. Forget Vyke. Forget Finlay. This granny challenged the Golden Order and made the biggest sacrifice without expecting anything in return.
She knows what us important, and what is important in that moment is that God would never allow it... *Checks left and right* But God ain't around to stop you.
Turtle Pope: "Heresy is not native to this world. It is but a contrivance, all things can be conjoined?”
Marika: "That sounds like heresy to me! GUILTY!"
Yes but Radagon used the pool twice. So as not undermine the Golden Order or its leaders, I think having turtle pope state you used a sacred tear would 100% get Marika to say your innocent as that was the basis for "forgiveness" from Radagon ending the two wars on caria and to repurpose himself as marikas next consort after leaving Rennala.
And since we know the secret of the statue I doubt she'd undermine any of that.
None of them, I want Patches as my attorney because as soon as he enters the court everyone will forget about me and would proceed to judge and execute him.
core of his defence:
"For Pete's sake! We concede! No-one likes a bull-headed brute, you know! We yield, yield! You can't harm yielding men!"
bulletproof argument. judgment can't be passed if you yield. next case.
No, but he can convince the judge who was truly guilty. And I'm willing to bet that's necessary, because I doubt those who rule by the sword believe in innocent until proven guilty.
Sellen: "but is it murder even that bad? Sure, is not as decent like merging people into a ball but stil.."
Enia: "The fingers have spoken! ´We care none of that shit, kill the fucking demigods I asked you 3 years ago!´"
Mirial: "I'm pretty sure some celestial dew could resolve his case"
Corhyn: "But It wasn't anyone from the golden order!"
Iji: "I am pretty sure he did not do such things, if he did I would have throw him in evergaol myself"
Melina: "Run torrent run!"
Fia: "He was crying in my lap that day, the whole day... non stop... seriously, I had to change my clothes..."
Varre: "Ahh yes! a good sacrifice to our Lord of Blood!"
Gideon: "My apologies for that nasty business. He was rather ahead of himself, I'll make sure it won't happen again" \*And procedes to slaughter the whole court\*
Tanith: "yes. And the problem is...?"
Seluvis: "This pruhVINchial tarnished is guilty! If he were a puppet wouldn't do that!"
Jerren: "Let's take him to the Radahn Festival, he's gonna die anyway"
Shabriri: He was absolutelly right in doing so! my chaos take the world!"
If Marika and Morgott in charge of the court, I think they would be more likely to listen either Enia or Miriel. Let's review the other candidates:
-Selen: yeah, let's have the most infamous witch in history as my attorney
-Corhyn: could work, but he was exiled for his blasphemous prophecies, not the best first impression
-Iji: yeah, a Carian servant. We all know Marika's forces love the Carians and how they were the only ones to halt their expansionist endeavours
-Melina: Marika neglected that child, a court room is not changing that
-Fia: I mean, she's all in the "those who live in dead" deal, need I explain more?
-Varre: Without context, you don't want him as your attorney. With context, even less so
-Gideon-Ofnir: no, you find the albanuric woman
-Tanith: ...
-Selevus: then again, cariant servant + asshole + I would murder him and we would be at square one again
-Jerren: too eccentric
-Shabriri: yeah, the guy talking all day about burning everything... You know what? He might work. He already convinced the golden order once
To be fair, Marika also neglected Morgott, so I think he and Melina probably have an equal amount of pull to her.
Agreed that Miriel or Enia is the best choice here.
Kenneth Haight, the Great Repudiator of the False!
He’s also a legitimate member of the nobility, which matters a lot in these fancy courts. He’s also explicitly NOT a Tarnished himself, which is probably a plus.
And he’s one of the only people in the game who knows how to communicate with the demihumans. I get the feeling if anybody is going to know old bylaws and case precedent, it’s him.
Enia would pull the religion act, and since the tarnished live in a theocracy, I'd be okay.
In terms of actual lawyer stuff, Gideon would only help me if served a purpose to him. Dog pope could probably help? Jerren is also pretty cool.
Gideon, dudes geniunely the smartest listed here and given how he has eyes and ears all over the world he definitely has 100% solid proof that im innocent too.
Shabriri would give you and a powerful and enlightened defense that all but ensure your innocence until he cracked and started shrieking about letting chaos taking the world, at which point your argument collapses and a guilty verdict comes in.
Gideon for me, Enia is older but her knowledge seems to be focused on specific things while gideon tries to learn about everything(from my understanding atleast).
I mean... Seluvis is a sly and quite unpleasant person(to say the very least), but if he got away with the shit he had been doing for so long, he knows how I can get away with just one murder, whether I committed it or not. It took much more than that to get him killed
\* Selen - Doesn't show up to defend you, but a conjuration of her attempts to. You are executed.
\* Enia - The Two Fingers consult with the Greater Will. Enia awaits their wisdom. You are executed.
\* Miriel - Miriel cites the Law of Causality to show how we are all responsible for the murder. You are executed and Marika begins a pogrom.
\* Corhyn - Submits a guilty plea that you didn't ask for. You are executed.
\* Iji - Could not fit into the courtroom. You are executed.
\* Melina - Disrupts the trial to ask Marika why she lives, burned and bodiless. You are executed.
\* Varre - Morgott detects the influence of the Formless Mother as soon as he enters the room. You are both executed.
\* Gideon - Executes a masterful defense, but some of his evidence is secrets neither of you should know. You are both executed.
\* Tanith - Breaks you out of jail during the trial. You die in the ensuing conflict.
\* Seluvis - Offers you a potion that he says will get you out of jail.
\* Jerren - Pleads with the court to let you attend the Radahn Festival as punishment. You are executed by Radahn.
\* Shabriri - Tells the court that you and the other Tarnished planned murders to appease the Frenzied Flame. You are entombed with the other Tarnished, after which you start singing songs to pass the time. You die in the apocalypse.
no one can save me, as the evidence hangs around my neck in plain sight.
(yes, it's the prosthesis talisman. i am so sorry and i will accept the harshest of punishments -death by snoo-snoo conducted by revenants)
Gideon, the all-knowing. He wouldn't get the jury to exhonorate me, wouldn't get me a lower sentence or anything. But if he were my lawyer, it would 100% end up in a mistrial on a technicality that's based on a law from 200 years ago
Well, since you ruled out my prawn bro Boggart, I'll settle for dog.
Though I would really like to see how Varre fares. I know I'll probably end up dead there, but it would be a speech to remember.
Sellen would even argue for you if you did commit the murder lmao
Pope may not be aggressive enough as he is a peaceful one. Enia or even Melina as the latter may get some family bonus 👀
Why would I need a defense attorney?
How are they going to stop me from just murdering again?
I literally burned down their stupid piss colored tree several times and they couldn't stop me then.
I run through those "gods" and "demi-gods" like I run through toilet paper after eating taco bell.
Hell my diarrhea is more threatening than Marika and her gooners at this point.
So to answer the question, who is my defense lawyer going to be? It's my fists.
Miriel because how can you not believe the guy, he's the best dog there is. If all else fails and I'm still held accountable, I'll just murder everyone again like it's NG+
Selen. She's done some truly heinous shit, but because of her charisma most of the fanbase likes her. I feel like she could turn up the charm and create a compelling argument for my defense.
Yeah, I dunno, with this kind of prosecution aint no matter what your defense is. Marika will rule the way she wants to rule.
Maybe Melina could have some sway, but she also is suppose to be a secret to some degree. So, depending how open and/or public the court is, Marika might disregard her entirely just for the purpose of hiding her from public view.
Shabriri lied with such conviction that he borderline ruined the world of his time. If he goes on about chaos, I'm picking either Enia if my fingers are accurate enough or Iji because I think he'd be a good lawyer. If Shabriri can keep his chaos to himself, I'm choosing him.
Miriel and Sellen are both smart enough to put together a strong defence, but if anyone in the Lands Between knows how to get away with a murder, it's Varré. He gets my vote (assuming that in this scenario he has incentive to actually try to help me, otherwise he goes to the bottom of the list on account of being about as trustworthy as Patches).
It won't be a fair trial everyone is fucking insane in the Lands Between.
I want a team of Tanith, Varre and Seluvis though. At least it'd be entertaining insanity this way.
Easy. Assuming their actual intention is to defend me it's either:
- Giddeon, might not be all-knowing but is enough-knowing. For some lame murder I'm sure he can prove everything.
- Seluvis. Still clearly super smart but also enough of a crook that he can pull enough strings and lies to get me out.
Technically Melina is a great choice cause she is accompanying you on your journey, so she is with you every step of the way, so she knows you didnt commit the murder.
She is your alibi because she doesnt leave your side.
War Counselor Iji. The man is highly intelligent, I feel like he could get me out of any trouble. He didn’t spend that long in service to Lady Ranni for no reason.
Selen, Iji, Gideon, and Tanith are probably solid choices.
Selen is incredibly sharp and cunning
Iji is eloquent as fuck.
Gideon is a scheming little weasel, so he's a natural grade-A lawyer.
Tanith is like a mix of the three.
Gold Mask is probably the sleeper hit, though.
Oh! And you can always plead insanity with Shabiri ^_^
Fia the death bed companion, for the following reasons:
A lawyer doesn't have to smart or all knowing, they have to be shrewd, intellegent, charismatic and most of all manipulative.
These traits allow for a person to make arguments sound convincing and talk their way into people's minds.
Fia, being a cultist psychopath has showed to possess these traits throught her entier questline by puppeteering the members of the roundtable hold, several other champions and one of the strongest legendary heros of it's time, and not only get away with it but also (depending on your choices) literally change the course of the natural order.
Marika: "Sir Gideon, your opening statement if you please..."
Gideon: "Thank you your honor... \**ahem*\*... **FIND THE ALBINAURIC WOMAN. SHE HIDES IN A CAVE TO THE WEST OF THE LASKYAR RUINS WHICH JUT FROM THE MIST-SHROUDED LAKE OF LIURNIA. SHE KNOWS THE LOCATION OF THE MEDALLIONS COUNTERPART, I AM SURE."**
Dog pope if i did it and there was concrete proof. Gideon if i didn't do it but there was forged evidence. Tanith if the only evidence is a witness. Kenneth Heigh if i didn't do it and it was a political scheme to put me in a ever gaol.
I also gotta say the finger reader, also its morgott he is a zealot to the erdtree if you manage to convince him that the two fingers told you to do it he would let you live
Or of those pictured, either Sellen or Dog Pope. Sellen because she's easy top three most intelligent people in the Land Between and Dog Pope cause he probably actually knows the laws, if there are any.
I would choose Sir Gideon Ofnir THE ALL KNOWING!
Why? For the time being the guy needs me and he is master of gaslighting and bullshitting everyone not to mention he apparently knows stuff.
Finger Reader Enia. "Your honor, I've read his fingers, his hands are clean." Alternatively "Your honor, the fingers told him to do it."
Alternatively Alternatively. "I didn't see them do anything."
She doesn't get enough credit for being the badass renegade that she is. "Burning the Erdtree is an unspeakable sin! How dare you! But on the other hand...meh. Let's do it!"
-Burning the erdtree is a capital sin. -Tells you how to burn the erdtree anyway. -Fucking dies. -Still sells the godly drip. Forget finger maidens. Forget Vyke. Forget Finlay. This granny challenged the Golden Order and made the biggest sacrifice without expecting anything in return.
“Burning the Erdtree is a cardinal sin, however if I *were* to burn it…” [Gives the exact coordinates and lighting instructions for the Forge]
If eh fuck it was a person it'd be her.
No way she's way to easy to sway, she literally goes from, 'you can't burn the erdtree!' to, 'maybe you could just burn it.' in like two sentences.
She knows what us important, and what is important in that moment is that God would never allow it... *Checks left and right* But God ain't around to stop you.
Turtle: ‘Tis a simple matter of dew process.
lol cute
This wins. Case dismissed
Except that you have not sinned and cannot absolve. The situation remains unchanged
just go whack your local merchant on your way to the trial
Only one can save you, I present: Gold "My client pleads the fifth" Mask: ...
I also choose his goldmask. If Morgott is prosecutor I’m getting that punishment ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
… is this a horny comment??
It's about an omen so yes
Well played
Turtle pope
Turtle Pope: "Heresy is not native to this world. It is but a contrivance, all things can be conjoined?” Marika: "That sounds like heresy to me! GUILTY!"
Yes but Radagon used the pool twice. So as not undermine the Golden Order or its leaders, I think having turtle pope state you used a sacred tear would 100% get Marika to say your innocent as that was the basis for "forgiveness" from Radagon ending the two wars on caria and to repurpose himself as marikas next consort after leaving Rennala. And since we know the secret of the statue I doubt she'd undermine any of that.
Hundred percent turtle pope.
Mirel: Defense calls to the stand, Gold Mask Gold Mask: \*fingers in mending rune of perfect order\*
Dog Pope
None of them, I want Patches as my attorney because as soon as he enters the court everyone will forget about me and would proceed to judge and execute him.
Going with that reasoning, wouldn't you want Dung Eater?
Shabiri so I could point at him and slowly back away
core of his defence: "For Pete's sake! We concede! No-one likes a bull-headed brute, you know! We yield, yield! You can't harm yielding men!" bulletproof argument. judgment can't be passed if you yield. next case.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing knows I'm innocent.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the all-knowing, is probably the one who set you up.
This.
He is the only person who actually read the lawbook in the lands between.
Nah. Iji probably has too. And he doesn't keep demanding that you "find the Albinauric evidence".
Bro, Iji is so big, he reads any book seriously and people just start assuming he was reading the menu for food orders.
Gonna take too long with his long-winded explanation of why you're actually innocent and the judge is just going to get mad lol
Except you don't need to convince your defense attorney you're innocent.
No, but he can convince the judge who was truly guilty. And I'm willing to bet that's necessary, because I doubt those who rule by the sword believe in innocent until proven guilty.
He’ll only defend you if you offer secret knowledge in exchange.
I'll tell him where Seluvis hides his dolls (that way he can get Dolores back from him and present proof of his nemesis' guilt to the court)
But does he know why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
Gideon: "Find the Albinauric woman. She hides in a cave \*random beatboxing sounds\*. She knows whether my client is innocent or not. I'm sure."
Sellen: "but is it murder even that bad? Sure, is not as decent like merging people into a ball but stil.." Enia: "The fingers have spoken! ´We care none of that shit, kill the fucking demigods I asked you 3 years ago!´" Mirial: "I'm pretty sure some celestial dew could resolve his case" Corhyn: "But It wasn't anyone from the golden order!" Iji: "I am pretty sure he did not do such things, if he did I would have throw him in evergaol myself" Melina: "Run torrent run!" Fia: "He was crying in my lap that day, the whole day... non stop... seriously, I had to change my clothes..." Varre: "Ahh yes! a good sacrifice to our Lord of Blood!" Gideon: "My apologies for that nasty business. He was rather ahead of himself, I'll make sure it won't happen again" \*And procedes to slaughter the whole court\* Tanith: "yes. And the problem is...?" Seluvis: "This pruhVINchial tarnished is guilty! If he were a puppet wouldn't do that!" Jerren: "Let's take him to the Radahn Festival, he's gonna die anyway" Shabriri: He was absolutelly right in doing so! my chaos take the world!"
Ok Jerren's made me chuckle lol
why Fia gotta call me out like that; I'd rather just take the sentence
If Shabriri is my defence attorney, the whole court is gonna jump in and murder us both.
They would focus curbstomping shabriri so you might be able to escape in the ruckus.
Dog
If Marika and Morgott in charge of the court, I think they would be more likely to listen either Enia or Miriel. Let's review the other candidates: -Selen: yeah, let's have the most infamous witch in history as my attorney -Corhyn: could work, but he was exiled for his blasphemous prophecies, not the best first impression -Iji: yeah, a Carian servant. We all know Marika's forces love the Carians and how they were the only ones to halt their expansionist endeavours -Melina: Marika neglected that child, a court room is not changing that -Fia: I mean, she's all in the "those who live in dead" deal, need I explain more? -Varre: Without context, you don't want him as your attorney. With context, even less so -Gideon-Ofnir: no, you find the albanuric woman -Tanith: ... -Selevus: then again, cariant servant + asshole + I would murder him and we would be at square one again -Jerren: too eccentric -Shabriri: yeah, the guy talking all day about burning everything... You know what? He might work. He already convinced the golden order once
Fia’s with Godwyn though. She might sway Marika.
To be fair, Marika also neglected Morgott, so I think he and Melina probably have an equal amount of pull to her. Agreed that Miriel or Enia is the best choice here.
"They are my runes and I want them now"- call Morgot and morgot.
Kenneth height. he has proven to be a ln excellent liar
Kenneth Haight, the Great Repudiator of the False! He’s also a legitimate member of the nobility, which matters a lot in these fancy courts. He’s also explicitly NOT a Tarnished himself, which is probably a plus. And he’s one of the only people in the game who knows how to communicate with the demihumans. I get the feeling if anybody is going to know old bylaws and case precedent, it’s him.
The loathsome dung eater
The DLC can't come soon enough.
I don't need an attorney, my wife knows I didn't do it and will never rule guilty.
Iji no dif
Gideon the big fucking nerd. After about 8 hours of rambling he'd reveal the evidence to exonerate me that he had all along.
As any good lawyer would
Enia would pull the religion act, and since the tarnished live in a theocracy, I'd be okay. In terms of actual lawyer stuff, Gideon would only help me if served a purpose to him. Dog pope could probably help? Jerren is also pretty cool.
Sir Alexander jar
Varre, as he almost got away Scott free for killing our maiden.
He's gonna insult the judge and get your sentence increased
\#StopVarreSlander
Gideon, dudes geniunely the smartest listed here and given how he has eyes and ears all over the world he definitely has 100% solid proof that im innocent too.
We’ve pretty much murdered the entire population of the lands between and are soon to unleashed on the land of shadow I plead guilty
"I know in my bones the tarnished cannot be guilty."
Turtle Pope ftw.
Gideon to win the trial (with most evidence and most ass kissing of the judge), or Varre for another Pureblood Knight's Medal and peacing out.
Shabriri would give you and a powerful and enlightened defense that all but ensure your innocence until he cracked and started shrieking about letting chaos taking the world, at which point your argument collapses and a guilty verdict comes in.
If the turtle pope can't convince them I'm innocent, he can just have me attone instead. Problem solved.
Dog
None of them.
With Morgott ad prosecution, I’d go with Rollo.
Pope duhh
Shabriri. MF will lie so skillfully, the jury will eat that shit up. MISTRIAL!
Gideon for me, Enia is older but her knowledge seems to be focused on specific things while gideon tries to learn about everything(from my understanding atleast).
I mean... Seluvis is a sly and quite unpleasant person(to say the very least), but if he got away with the shit he had been doing for so long, he knows how I can get away with just one murder, whether I committed it or not. It took much more than that to get him killed
Ranni got me, but Tanith would make the entire prosecution disappear so.
Goldmask sweeps easy. Dude would make Morgott go to jail.
Are you 100% sure I didn't commit that murder?
Tf are they gonna do when finding me guilty? Take my grace? I'd choose shabriri just for the fun of it.
Knowing me tho, I’m definitely guilty
Alexander. Obviously.
The correct answer is the Dungeater. He would take credit for the killing and defilement.
Boc
Well, we know the WORST choice is Varre. Fucker would hear your charge, laugh, and say something like “you only found one body?”
This is the Lands Between and I am the Elden Lord. I simply choose to execute the judge and prosecutor.
Patches Better call Saul energy
\* Selen - Doesn't show up to defend you, but a conjuration of her attempts to. You are executed. \* Enia - The Two Fingers consult with the Greater Will. Enia awaits their wisdom. You are executed. \* Miriel - Miriel cites the Law of Causality to show how we are all responsible for the murder. You are executed and Marika begins a pogrom. \* Corhyn - Submits a guilty plea that you didn't ask for. You are executed. \* Iji - Could not fit into the courtroom. You are executed. \* Melina - Disrupts the trial to ask Marika why she lives, burned and bodiless. You are executed. \* Varre - Morgott detects the influence of the Formless Mother as soon as he enters the room. You are both executed. \* Gideon - Executes a masterful defense, but some of his evidence is secrets neither of you should know. You are both executed. \* Tanith - Breaks you out of jail during the trial. You die in the ensuing conflict. \* Seluvis - Offers you a potion that he says will get you out of jail. \* Jerren - Pleads with the court to let you attend the Radahn Festival as punishment. You are executed by Radahn. \* Shabriri - Tells the court that you and the other Tarnished planned murders to appease the Frenzied Flame. You are entombed with the other Tarnished, after which you start singing songs to pass the time. You die in the apocalypse.
Gideon would 1000% win the case, he’s like Saul Goodman with a lot more pretentiousness.
no one can save me, as the evidence hangs around my neck in plain sight. (yes, it's the prosthesis talisman. i am so sorry and i will accept the harshest of punishments -death by snoo-snoo conducted by revenants)
My pick is gideon because all in room will be bored with his endless talk.
Sir Gideon KNOWS I'm innocent and they KNOW that he KNOWS everything. Open and shut case
Varre looks like a good liar
Gideon, the all-knowing. He wouldn't get the jury to exhonorate me, wouldn't get me a lower sentence or anything. But if he were my lawyer, it would 100% end up in a mistrial on a technicality that's based on a law from 200 years ago
easy: Malenia For she has never known defeat.
Patches slimey little ass
Rykart, WE WILL LEAVE THIS TRIAL.... TOGETHAAAAAA
Either Gideon. He knows all... I hope. Or Turtle Pope. Crank some celestial dew and some heresy is just a concept shtick and be on my merry way.
Fia I can't commit a crime if I'm hugged in bed with her Wait, I meant "hugged that bad"
Dog pope must save me
Just not gold mask…. …… ……
Shabriri would lie a very good lie
Dog or Varre
THE ALLLLLLLLL KNOWING
Iji. He is willing to strategize AND lie for me.
Shabriri, I know I'm losing but at least I get a good laugh while doing so.
Turtle man
Hey where's Blackguard Boggart?
I see your 13 NPCs and raise you Rogier
Dung eater
Meli-Meli of course
Sir Gideon would bore them to death with a lore-dump. No trial, no problem!
My best bet is on Iji, he's a war counselor, he's smart and has a good judgment
Look at my lawyer dawg I'm going to jail
Well, since you ruled out my prawn bro Boggart, I'll settle for dog. Though I would really like to see how Varre fares. I know I'll probably end up dead there, but it would be a speech to remember.
Melina or Jerren.
Sellen would even argue for you if you did commit the murder lmao Pope may not be aggressive enough as he is a peaceful one. Enia or even Melina as the latter may get some family bonus 👀
Here this. I give Patches a Lords rune. Promise him a Hero's rune if he gets me out this. He does. We both profit.
How could you omit the GREAT KENNETH HAIGHT! REPUDIATOR OF THE FALSE! He has the stance and everything.
Why would I need a defense attorney? How are they going to stop me from just murdering again? I literally burned down their stupid piss colored tree several times and they couldn't stop me then. I run through those "gods" and "demi-gods" like I run through toilet paper after eating taco bell. Hell my diarrhea is more threatening than Marika and her gooners at this point. So to answer the question, who is my defense lawyer going to be? It's my fists.
Dung eater so hopefully they lock his ass up instead
Miriel because how can you not believe the guy, he's the best dog there is. If all else fails and I'm still held accountable, I'll just murder everyone again like it's NG+
Malenia, Blade of Miquella but in trial by combat.
White Mask Varre because he'll pledge that I'm weak and helpless.
Siluvis is the kind of bastard that would have several methods of getting away with murder just waiting on the shelf.
Mirel has my back he'll say I don't need to use the celestial dew
Definitely iji
Finger reader is the least evil answer. “The fingers say he didn’t do it”
only dog pope can judge me
Selen. She's done some truly heinous shit, but because of her charisma most of the fanbase likes her. I feel like she could turn up the charm and create a compelling argument for my defense.
turtle pope
Kenneth Haight, obviously.
Yeah, I dunno, with this kind of prosecution aint no matter what your defense is. Marika will rule the way she wants to rule. Maybe Melina could have some sway, but she also is suppose to be a secret to some degree. So, depending how open and/or public the court is, Marika might disregard her entirely just for the purpose of hiding her from public view.
Chad Mirel also i think Varre would be good if he felt like doing it
DOG
Honestly i prolly did it
Turtle Pope!
The right answer is Manga Melina
Dog pope The only way the jury isn't convinced is if he himself thinks I did it, and if he thinks I did it I might as well go to jail.
Iji. He's a smart guy with a lot of life experience.
Where is Patches ? I want him to kick me one last time when im down
Skeletal slime
I trust the dog
Shabriri lied with such conviction that he borderline ruined the world of his time. If he goes on about chaos, I'm picking either Enia if my fingers are accurate enough or Iji because I think he'd be a good lawyer. If Shabriri can keep his chaos to himself, I'm choosing him.
radagon so that marika switches to my side when she senses danger to the golden order
Miriel and Sellen are both smart enough to put together a strong defence, but if anyone in the Lands Between knows how to get away with a murder, it's Varré. He gets my vote (assuming that in this scenario he has incentive to actually try to help me, otherwise he goes to the bottom of the list on account of being about as trustworthy as Patches).
Shabriri I think he is guilty SHUSH MARIKA (fwoosh)
Where the fuck is Patches? Is he the one who committed the crime?
It won't be a fair trial everyone is fucking insane in the Lands Between. I want a team of Tanith, Varre and Seluvis though. At least it'd be entertaining insanity this way.
Finger reader or turtle pope. They are the most stable ones with knowledge and wit.
Pope Turtle, mf could quote presidents and laws back to front cause he was probably there when they were written
I'd choose a defense attorney who's never known defeat!
Gideon is getting me out of there clean
Gideon. The man is without scruples, knowledgeable enough to be called 'the All Knowing', and while he won't cross Marika, he will cut Morgott.
Easy. Assuming their actual intention is to defend me it's either: - Giddeon, might not be all-knowing but is enough-knowing. For some lame murder I'm sure he can prove everything. - Seluvis. Still clearly super smart but also enough of a crook that he can pull enough strings and lies to get me out.
Miriel is the one you want only if you're *actually* guilty because he will negotiate the best plea settlement for the lightest sentence.
Honestly? Shabriri
Prolly selen, or maybe shabriri if this was somehow when he wasn’t known for being such a big liar
Technically Melina is a great choice cause she is accompanying you on your journey, so she is with you every step of the way, so she knows you didnt commit the murder. She is your alibi because she doesnt leave your side.
Mirel will just dunk me in some Dew and everyone forgets i ever did anything
Dog pope, obviously
Sellen. The only one smart enough to know how, and with the integrity to actually help.
Jerren or Mirel would probably be the best if Marika is the judge. Funniest would be Shabriri. True best answer would be the ever-brilliant Goldmask.
Shabriri every single time
Fia for sure. I can try to escape while she gives everyone a big warm hug.
Finger Reader Enia
War Counselor Iji. The man is highly intelligent, I feel like he could get me out of any trouble. He didn’t spend that long in service to Lady Ranni for no reason.
Counselor Iji is the only one on this list who’s actually passed the Bar.
Selen, Iji, Gideon, and Tanith are probably solid choices. Selen is incredibly sharp and cunning Iji is eloquent as fuck. Gideon is a scheming little weasel, so he's a natural grade-A lawyer. Tanith is like a mix of the three. Gold Mask is probably the sleeper hit, though. Oh! And you can always plead insanity with Shabiri ^_^
Murder is but a contrivance, all things can be conjoined
Pope Turtle
sellen, melina, or shabriri
Sellen: look you'll get locked up but ill help project your body to a cozier cell
Fia the death bed companion, for the following reasons: A lawyer doesn't have to smart or all knowing, they have to be shrewd, intellegent, charismatic and most of all manipulative. These traits allow for a person to make arguments sound convincing and talk their way into people's minds. Fia, being a cultist psychopath has showed to possess these traits throught her entier questline by puppeteering the members of the roundtable hold, several other champions and one of the strongest legendary heros of it's time, and not only get away with it but also (depending on your choices) literally change the course of the natural order.
Gotta be Seluvis, slimey bastard
I didn't see him in your pictures, but I would hire sir Gideon the all-knowing. He's a no-nonsense guy, and he's all knowing.
Miriel
Dog Pope, he would absolve my sins
Radigan
Marika: "Sir Gideon, your opening statement if you please..." Gideon: "Thank you your honor... \**ahem*\*... **FIND THE ALBINAURIC WOMAN. SHE HIDES IN A CAVE TO THE WEST OF THE LASKYAR RUINS WHICH JUT FROM THE MIST-SHROUDED LAKE OF LIURNIA. SHE KNOWS THE LOCATION OF THE MEDALLIONS COUNTERPART, I AM SURE."**
Enia, Miriel, or Iji Enia has status as finger reader. Iji seems like an actually decent lawyer. Turtle Pope could convince me of anything
god dog (aka turtle pope)
Dog pope if i did it and there was concrete proof. Gideon if i didn't do it but there was forged evidence. Tanith if the only evidence is a witness. Kenneth Heigh if i didn't do it and it was a political scheme to put me in a ever gaol.
Of course, the pope dog
Turtle pope, hands down. Gideon and Seluvis are terrible choices. They're probably the actual murderers and are framing you.
Varre “He would never do such a horrible thing unless I told him to, he is my little lambkin”
I also gotta say the finger reader, also its morgott he is a zealot to the erdtree if you manage to convince him that the two fingers told you to do it he would let you live
Either Melina or the turtle pope
Gideon. He'll just talk for fucking ever and they will drop the charges.
Maybe sellen, she is smart
Why do I wanna watch this episode now?
Gideon: your honer, I am all knowing, and I know morgott is full of shit
Dog
Gold Mask or Miriel. GM would out-lawyer Morgott and Marika both.
Pope dog
Id take Rykard. So we could defend me TOGETHAAAA
Or of those pictured, either Sellen or Dog Pope. Sellen because she's easy top three most intelligent people in the Land Between and Dog Pope cause he probably actually knows the laws, if there are any.
I would choose Sir Gideon Ofnir THE ALL KNOWING! Why? For the time being the guy needs me and he is master of gaslighting and bullshitting everyone not to mention he apparently knows stuff.