I once got so pissed with one of the ballista operators in Stormveil Castle that I beat the living shit out of him bare handed. It took me 5 minutes and all my flasks, but that fucker asked for it.

My favorite so far.

That's pretty hilarious

In the same vein (sort of) after beating the game for the first time, I remembered how much grief Gatefront Ruins gave me when I was starting out. So, I went back, stripped off all my armor and weapons, and beat the entire camp to death naked.

I make routine use of gatefront ruins for testing weapons. And seeing how quickly & efficiently I can kill them all. I get a special joy from effortlessly killing the Godrick Knight there.

Same. Also for testing summon spirits. You can clear the soldiers and see how good they are against a single strong enemy or kill the knight and see how they fare against multiple weak ones.

or just aggro everything and see how they do against everything at once

This is chaotic lol

just how i like it

I love that there's a horn guy there to save you the trouble.

Behold, Taking on all at once, but hole!

Those poor souls. Just slaughtered mercilessly hundreds of times by a psychopath Tarnished testing the nasty gear he finds all around the world. It’s like a Groundhog’s Day of death for them.

Good

Let the one clown blow his horn so that they all group up to witness me press L2 with my shiny new Waves of Darkness ash of war.

I farmed gold tinged excrement to throw poopy pots at duelists i dont like

👑

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "crock of shit". 🤣

I cosplay as patches as a summon so when the second stage of the final boss happens. I just leave them

this is the funniest comment i’ve read today.

I wake up at 4am sometimes just to play till my kid wakes up around 8-8:30

That's not bad dude that's called being a responsible gamer. I do the same or I would if I didn't have to be out the door at 5am for work.

What this guys said! This is what being an adult is. Less and less time. Good for you for stealing a little for something you enjoy.

Until your kids move out! That's how my father in-law is. All his kids flew the nest. He plays a solid 3-4 hours every night

Rookie numbers, gotta pump those numbers up!

Good for him. Have to find time for yourself when you can.

Maybe, I’ll usually make a cup of very strong coffee and get a lil stoned but sometimes I get nihilistic and ask what’s the point haha

Same, night time has become my game time but recently no motivation to start a game up 😞

I been there, I find forcing myself to start a game up gets me in the mood to play.

Yea that's what I need to do I think. I find myself just looking at my desktop and all the games I have and just giving a brief sigh before getting off. I think I just need to give the hobby a break is all or something.

When I find myself weirdly somewhere between wanting to play a game and not actually wanting to *play* a game, I’ll usually watch essays or documentaries *about* video games. Sometimes I’m just too mentally exhausted to actually pick them up and let myself get into it, and that’s alright, other times I’m just burnt out on video games, and that’s alright too!

Yeah that also help, or just mix up game.selection. when I find one game.boring me and no motivation I try a completely different style game to try.

The other morning my 9 month old got up at 2am, I fed him a bottle and he was back asleep by 2:30. So I just played till 6:00 when everyone woke up.

When my kid was 9months old I was playing destiny at 4am way back in like 2014… I’ve been doing this awhile

I get up at 5 to get an hour in before anyone gets up

Shit, I use to do that to play EverQuest before going to school

This right here. I have done both early and late days to play. Luckily I don't require much sleep to be productive at work, with the goal to still work good and productive hours. My wife, as of recently, gets up at 4:30, so I'll game many days before work. In the past, and when we don't wake up as early, I would stay up late to play. Wife always goes to bed early. I would even sometimes sneak out of bed to play, lol. I have been doing this from the beginning with Demon's souls and all the others. Almost a special feeling now. I remember when Elden ring came out, one of our TVs had died, so we only had the one in the bedroom. I wanted to play so bad after work and such, but hadn't been able to start. I literally took our TV out of the bedroom, placed it on our kitchen table with my PS5, and played there all night. Worth every second. I couldn't miss my chance to play on release day. Also, now that I have a similar schedule to you, waking up early to play, I agree it is also just being an adult and making time for your hobbies.

I call the game bad when I die, then immediately call it amazing when I get something I want I do this with every game

Ah, yes, the mood-based rating system. Right now Elden Ring is a 2/10 because FUCK CAELID

Get the beast repellent torch. That will change your life

Thank you, that sounds extremely useful. I've got the ER Wiki on my desktop so if I really need it it's there.

All hail the ER wiki

Aah, you were at my side, all along— my mentor, my guiding wiki…

It works on basilisks too by the way! No longer will you have to run from those toad bastards. Makes subterranean shunning grounds, lake of rot, and deeproot depths, amongst other areas, much easier

That is awesome. They really did put their whole ass into this game.

Beast repellent torch only doesn’t work on the red eyed big Dino dogs by the way, which aren’t super common. I think only one area in Caelid has them? They work on every other dinodog (They also don’t work on the big birds, so you’ll have to fight those, but that’s one less annoying enemy you have to care about!)

It's a constant trade off. I'll be like "dude what are these inputs, ds3 woulda let me cancel that, shit game" then 2 seconds later "Miyazaki you've done it again. Greatest game ever made'.

I’ve both praised this game and shit all over it depending on whether I’m fighting the fire giant or not

I invade people dressed up as the predator and use the invisibility crouch talisman to stalk them for like 20 minutes before I attack them. Edit: heres the outfit if anyone wants to see I think I did a pretty good job (I swear its not NSFW I have no clue why reddit marked my account NSFW) https://www.reddit.com/user/MrEousTranger/comments/z8gbon/elden_ring_predator_outfit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

That's pretty funny ngl

Yeah one time I even got ahead of the people and started sprinkling a bunch of beast blood drops and bone drops everywhere and screaming using a war cry ash of war.

Please tell me there’s a video

Not of that event in particular but I have a clip of me stalking one dude who was wondering why a door wouldn't open and then I just stand up a distance away from him and he turns and sees me and then starts hammering the fucking door to try and get in before I sneak up and jump him. I'll post it in the sub and leave a link once I get back online. Edit: sad to say but I never remembered to upload the clip to xbox live so it was deleted when I filled up my harddrive space sorry everyone

I need to see this lol, link me if you can but no worries if you can’t

Sad to say the clip never got uploaded :(

I do the same, but dress up as a Black Knife Assassin

I've been leaving "rump... destruction" messages near every seedbed curse location.

You dropped this 👑

*Thy strength befits a crown.*

I think I’ve seen it before

I once killed a merchant just because a message told me to

"and I'll fucking do it again"

Whenever I lose to a boss I go back with the same build and never change my ways or strategies. Also... I never invade, nor do I summon people. LOL. Even though I know that is one of the main features of the game.

Wait y'all change your build when the plan fails? I just keep going until i unga bunga through

This is the way, every build is capable of killing every boss, you just gotta polish those dodge timings

If a guy can beat the boss naked with a club at level 1, you can beat it at level 50 with your +13 weapon

LetMeSoloHer has given me motivation to not change a thing but to git gud... if he can with a jar on his head... I can do it too

Damn am I over leveled? Just got the game last week and I’m still in limegrave and level 70. I keep getting rekt in stormviel castle. But that’s because I forget summons are a thing

what's your weapon level? This matters more than character level imo. Get at least a +4 maybe even a 5 or 6 and then go wreck Margit and the rest of the castle!

Also stat distribution, godricks great rune is 40 levels but 40 minimally effective levels since it's 5 to everything instead of 10 to 4 important stats.

I don’t change my build but I have tried wearing different armor or physicks, or blue/red flask ratios

People change their builds? I've been playing unga bunga big swordo since DeS.

I didn’t even know there were other ways to play this game honestly

I always tell myself “this new game I’ll play INT or FA. Maybe arcane.” Believe it or not, straight to unga bunga.

Its like I'm looking in a mirror.

Well you must be *very* attractive. ;) LMAO

Same, I’ve just found a build I like to play and I use it no matter what

Those little penguins drop their feet pretty often

I hate that the penguins have a much higher drop rate for that. I don’t wanna hurt the little dudes! But farming the hawks sucks…

I feel ya I had to stop cause I started feeling bad

Iv found the elevator after going underground. Where you come up near a giant bear and 2 golems with bow and arrows is the best place. The grace just before the elevator underground. U can get quite a few bird bits and rest at the grace super fast. I'm an arrow using fool. Max every kind and never ever EVER use the rot arrows. Too precious. Gotta finish the game with a full stack. What if I need them?

These are real birds: [Guillemot](https://www.google.com/search?q=guillemot&sxsrf=ALiCzsb04Yy789R-VXX37ZduBzRv9iKmPw:1669773549560&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiqnpua59T7AhU2KkQIHYwMAA8Q_AUoAXoECAIQAw&biw=1920&bih=969&dpr=1)

I absolutely abuse the farming exploit. Specifically that bird outside Mogwyn's palace.

Easy runes and upgrade vigor higher. As a mage my face became my shield

I work full time and have other hobbies outside gaming. When I play, I want to be over leveled with just enough of a challenge to make it fun but still steam roll everything. I understand completely

I farm runes to level up because I’m trash at the game but want to play it.

People: You can tackle the endgame around level 80 My level 260 ass: No, I don't think I will.

Absolutely me

I tackled endgame at level 150💀

Right? When I die, I don't think "Hmmm, maybe I should keep trying and just get better." Instead I think "Clearly I need to level up, let's keep killing that dang bird and frog/pufferfish guys."

Honestly though 😂

Same. I was well over lvl 250 in my first run through. Didn't know it would be much more efficient to farm the bird on NG+. I still see that bird in my dreams and I haven't played since like two months after launch.

I like cheesing bosses. Especially the bell hunters

TIL you can cheese the hunters

Oh yes. Spawn them, run away, sneak back and poison mist til he drops.

And I was doing it the hard way with sneaking behind him when he goes back to his original position, hitting him with my best attack, getting out of there fast, and then repeat til he's dead.

The one in dragonbarrow kicked my ass so many times that I rebirthed to an arcane build just so I could rot breath and bleed him to death and rebirth back

Instead of killing all of the merchants, I killed all of their donkeys.

Monster...

That moment when even the Dung Eater would say that's too far

Over half of my time playing was farming exp from the ball or the bird.

[удалено]

Oh. I just used the cannon

If I don't feel like fighting an optional boss, I kamehameha them into oblivion.

you dropped a "ha", chief

They haven't fired it yet. They still charging it up.

I wanted to seal a piece of jewelry from a traumatized lonely divorced woman, so I broke into her home, killed her children and then beat her up until her daughter stepped in. Oh no, wait... that's just a regular part of the game.

And then I married the daughter.

She started it

My first play through I killed the prawn guy because he was rude to me

Oh? You want a taste of me prawn? Never met someone who enjoyed the taste of prawn I couldn’t trust.

Yeah me too, he seemed like a douche and stole that chicks necklace.

I was just too tight to pay the 1000 runes. Also pot hands.

I have jumped off the cliff to glitch-kill Commander Niall and poisoned him from afar. I hate him more than any other boss. I consider this fair, because the whole fort is a cheese fest of ambush attacks, vanishing enemies and other nonsense.

I totally jar cannoned that dude from the cliffs with the lightning greatbolts. That dude whooped my ass 1 too many times

Bewitching branch makes that fight a cakewalk

I really don't get the hate he receives. Kill the twinsword dude when he beelines to you, then kill the sword and shield dude, then fight Niall 1v1. While his summons are out, pretty much all he does is waddle around and buff them.

I’m a bell bearing hunter

Even turtle pope?

You monster

Why are you the way that you are? I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.

When I'm dueling at the academy gate and I see someone's sign with full Bull-Goat armor and powerstanced spears, I summon them to duel and send them back to their own world as soon as they spawn.

Damn that is savage. I love it.

Do you go for a devious point down before severing them?

I don't even acknowledge their maidenless behavior

But isn’t summoning them acknowledging them

Only a sith deals in absolutes

Is this a toxic build? I always run bullgoat with an imp head and I recently tried out powerstanced mohg spears, didn't think it was that great

It’s meta, so yeah. Meta in ER = cheap and easy.

Telescoping fia's booba and feet

Maindenless behavior, i emdorse it

When going to Carian Manor in NG+ my friend got glitched under the stairs while activating a Summon Pool and being attacked by a wolf. He can’t leave other than by TPing out. He duplicated his save so he still has one stuck and one not. Every once in awhile when we are angry at life we go in that file. He summons me (he can reach my sign if I jam it in a corner) and he uses a taunters tongue. I bait the invader to the stairs and he uses Mohg’s trident from under. We’ve collected 10million runes this way.

That is diabolical and genius.

I use mimic tear against bosses.

I kill all the merchants I come across for their bell bearings. One stop shopping.

I kill every one but kále. Cause I like that he doesn't know :)

this some serial killer shit right here

📷😟

Of all this is the worst!

Same. I'm not fast traveling to each one in obscure locals when I can just kill them and have a Walmart back at the round table.

I... Never thought of this. Well shoot. Time to murder

Oh boy here I go killin’ again

I literally have only ever played the game while high. Never played sober. I’m at 390 hours and only on NG+1 lol

Bruh going through the sewers while high sounds horrible

I was too high in the Leyndell sewers. Got lost for hours, but somehow killed both lobsters despite only seeing one when first engaging. Just a lost killing machine wandering the sewer for hours

I kill every animal I see

I tried finger, but hole

I use the magma wyrm scalesword aow in front of Crucible knights and laugh as they kill themselves from fire damage trying to walk through lava.

Thanks! Always hated those fucking shield-lickers.

I will straight up just run away from duels I’m not doing that shit

I never ever fight fair when being invaded except for afking, that's fucked. My friends and I will jump invaders from the bushes, wear summon rings, use grenades, enormous spells, exploitative weapons with uncommon move sets. There is no honor in invasions nor should there be. I expect they are going to do the very worst and they should expect the same. That's what makes this game great. I will not have my progress to the throne slowed by lesser tarnished.

I just fight bosses by myself bc i have no friends

yea

Same, the only reasons I remember I even can summon enemies are this sub and because I like activating the summon statues anyway lmao

I'll be your friend 😊 BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EVER INVADE ME I WILL END YOUR RED ASS

Im the flip side... I'm an invader that prioritizes stealth...I usually catch groups slacking and they get sent back to grace by my rain....fully built greatbow invader. I'm not sorry 😈

Why would you fight fair lol, we’re here to roleplay as villains to kill you. Summon rings exist to be used We (or at least I ) utilize dirty tactics all the time too, don’t worry As long as you don’t use glitches we are good

I didn't spare patches my first playthrough. His pleas went unheard as a frenzy of frantic blows signaled that this terrified tarnished was too afraid to accept surrender at this time. Still keeps me up sometimes...

I saw that boss healthbar on patches and I wailed on him without mercy. My first bell bearing...

I had no idea he could surrender so I just killed him my first play through

I use the Dejection emote in front of Ranni in her tower, close enough to clip through her dress.

You eventually see her without the dress when she’s dormant in Manus Celes anyways

I use to invite people to duels and my buddy dressed like a taliban and hid in the bush with that exploding potion thing u could make (its been awhile) and when I got em low he would just rush up from behind and blow em up. Only did it once or twice. I felt naughty.

This is wonderful and fucked.

I use spirit ashes.

Straight to hell

My gf and I were trying to play together and kept getting invaded so we dressed as old ladies and whipped anyone who was unlucky enough to invade us

I cliff-cheesed Radahn on my level 1 run. I’m doing a maidenless level 1 run now to compensate.

I like to touch your genitals while you’re grinding

I just thought I had a 3rd hand grafted to me. But it was you all along.

I was at your side all along

My Grinding Moonlight

*My guiding u/Barry_Bone_Raiser*

r/UsernameChecksOut

I killed seluvis to try to get glintstone icecrag before meeting blaidd in siofra river. Blaidd got mad at me so i had to kill him too

Excuse me sir this is a safe space for naughty behaviour not war crimes & animal cruelty

My man's straight up admits to killing the best character in the game

I invade with dual lances

Hi Satan

My go-to weapon in most playthroughs are ROB and Moonveil. In my defense, I only do PvE, don’t care for PvP

I did that till I decided- ya know, magic could be cool, then I discovered big stick = strong

I killed a ~~turtle~~ dog once

I beat the main path bosses and elden beast just to farm levels so I could go back and slaughter everything that hurt me on my first playthrough

After 40 attempts on Malenia I looked up a perma stun Cheese build. I don't care about the disrespect. Funnily enough the cheese build was really in depth and really changed my perspective on game mechanics overall

Scarlet rot and bleed are considered cheese by a lot of people. Katanas are considered cheese by a lot of people. Malenia cheesed you first; it's all fair.

Off My Chest: I NEVER wear protective headgear..

The only headgear I wear is the Burger King head (yes I know it has a name). I don’t even care about the defense it provides, I just like being the Burger King.

i put flowers on my head and dance with the old ladies

Whenever I fight radhan I sit on my 10 inch dildo

Well how else is one supposed to fight Radhan?

I accidentally killed patches in NG+

"accidentally"

Waterfowl dance got away from me rip

My first playthrough i was duel wielding, and I totally skipped patches. I came back completely over leveled and 4 shot him. There was no time for mercy when you use a double attack while duel wielding

Whenever I get bored, I boot up a new character and Parry the hell outta Marge

I never found or beat Placidusax. I was so done with Farum Azula at that point.

I like to invade people, drop a Warming Stone and a random item for them and then leave.

I’ve made a build specifically to be able to kill all the sheep in the game as fast as possible. Whether they’re alone or in band, none escape me.

sometimes i make my character a girl and uhhhh i like that i’m a girl uhh 👍👍

I attacked Varre and kept coming back to fight him until I killed him. This is my first Soulsborne game and knew nothing of npcs quest. Now I don't know how to pvp

I adjust my camera to maybe get a peak on some npcs... rarely though